premiership worst XI nominations

when nominating please specify their position on brackets.

e.g. Lehmann (GK)

Massimo Taibi (GK)

Shall we get the really obvious ones out of the way first?

Alia Dia (FC)

*Ali

Istvan Kozma, William Prunier (CB)

Sean Dundee (F)

ANDREA SILENZI (FC)

Djimi Traore (CB)

current or all time?

paul robinson(gk)

Marco Boogers, Eric Djemba Djemba (FC)

i was thinking current would be easier as the resulting poll wouldn't be so large but folks seem to have gone with ALL TIME so we might as well do all time now!

nomination ends next monday, btw

God, Silenzi the fucking sack of shit. Didn't he score 30 goals in a Serie A season before he joined Forest or something?

In Serie B. He was talked up as a potential great at one point, but then again so was Alvaro Recoba. Very hard to judge a player before they get found out.

Was he worse than Romario though?

Darren Ferguson (MC)

Slavisa Jokanovic (CM)

franny benali (LB)

Lee Hughes (HMP)

Carlton "18 caps for England" Palmer (LW)

Come on, who's afraid to nominate Geoff Thomas just because he's got cancer?

Djimi Traore (CB)

You mean "Champions League Winner Djimi Traore (CB)"

Jean-Alain Boumsong (LOL CB)
Franny Jeffers (LOLOL FOXINABOX)

ROQUE JUNIOR

REBROV

Geoff Thomas was pretty good for a while

Gordon Strachan on Claus Lundekvam: "He was carried off at Leicester and someone asked me if he was unconscious. I didn’t have a clue. That’s what he’s always like."

Rosario I meant further upthread obviously, not the Brazillian legend.

I was about to mention Boumsong and Fanny Jeffers!

Better get Bosko Balaban in there as well.

Robert Rosario and Marco Gabbiadini are the only two gypsies to ever play in the Premiership, right?

(insert obligatory "He doesn't get transferred, the council just move him on" gag)

Freddy Eastwood is next in line.

World Cup Winner Stephane Guivarc'h (striker, allegedly)

Reyes xxpost.

Guivarc'h is the worst player I can remember turning out for a major international nation in recent memory.

Worst Chelsea prem XI

Neil Sullivan
Christian Pannucci
Andy Myers
Fucking Bouhlarouz
Andy Dow
David Hopkin
Enrique De Lucas
Slavisa Jakanovic
Gabriel Ambrosetti
Andri Shevchenko
Mark Nicholls

In Italy they use the term "bidone" to describe expensive, hyped players who turn out to be absolute dreck. Famously, a popular DVD called "I Bidone" just features a picture of Paul Gascoigne on the cover.

Of those Ambrosetti (MF), De Lucas (MF) and Nicholls (F) are all candidates for a worst XI.

David Hopkin

He used to do bar work in my Dad's local when he was a part timer at Morton. I remember Chelsea launching a new kit or something and he was the only one in long sleeves in the promo shots as they wanted to hide his tattoos. He's managing Port Glasgow Juniors now.

Scored for Scotland against Malta iirc.

He was very ginger.

Did great at Palace.

Taibi and Recoba were both immense when on loan at Venezia, so I can't vote for them, and Sullivan was immense when at Wimbledon. So please don't vote for any of them.

Haha a GIS for him brings up a hit from the BBC with the alt text "Look away now it's David Hopkin!"

traore never played at centre back

traore never played at centre back

Fixed

he played well in the CL final as far as I recall! I think he cleared off the line at one point.

definitely not bad enough for this thread, not least when Houllier bought about 10 players who were far worse.

haha bruno cheyrou

First half of the CL final basically involved Traore playing everyone onside as his team mates stepped out, or stepping out as everyone else followed a ball in and leaving a huge gap. He is the main reason Milan should have been 132-0 up at H/T.

Comedy own goal vs Burnley = Djimi Traore ftw, also blocking one shot doesn't excuse his performance the rest of the game re Champs League final.

Worst Chelsea prem XI

Neil Sullivan
Christian Pannucci
Andy Myers
Fucking Bouhlarouz
Andy Dow
David Hopkin
Enrique De Lucas
Slavisa Jakanovic
Gabriel Ambrosetti
Andri Shevchenko
Mark Nicholls

Aw come on Pete, De Lucas wasn't as bad as fucking Mario Stanic.

I'd like to see Geremi in there - totally pointless player.

Also, shite as Shevchenko is, what about Mateja Offside Kezman? Totally useless.

Was Robert Fleck pre-premiership?

Traore was ok when Liverpool came back into it - mainly because Milan went into Italian Defensive Mode after Liverpool scored and he was left alone for the most part.

it's ridiculous to blame just Traore for that first half, the whole team were rubbish.

I don't think he's a great player but if you want to pick Liverpool players there are a host of them that I'd pick before Traore, who'd probably do great in the Scots Prem judging by the fact he's on the fringes of the Portsmouth squad.

wasn't as bad as fucking Mario Stanic
Come on!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr7WyqIrx_4

^thing of beauty right there^

beat me to that

mario stanic scored one of the 10 best ever Premiership goals IMO. on his debut! surely that precludes him from ever getting near this list.

ffs XXXXXPOST YOU TWATS

Traore, who'd probably do great in the Scots Prem

The same Traore who was in the team that Celtic humped 2-0 at Anfield?

franny jeffers and rebrov are nowhere near bad enough for this thread, being serious robinson probably isn't either.

acimovic, bunjevcevic and gardner would all spring to mind for spurs in the last few years.

ali dia is too easy, and was only on loan?

shevchenko is in line for the worst signing, maybe, but there is just no way he can be considered for the worst player.

thinking about it, imma hafta say bunjevcevic or gary doherty. worst CB pairing ever, with gardner as sub.

oh, and dean richards after it started to turn under hoddle. jelly man.

Traore wasn't amazing, but he wasn't a total disaster. Without him, we might have come 20th rather than 19th.

xpost on Stanic

Yes, but some of us had to endure his performances after that. In the season wehen we lost to Spurs 5-1 or something in the cup, he was tragic.

I'm not just blaming Traore at all, btw. He's just the only one I'm talking about.

Results 1 - 10 of about 13,600 for worst premiership player traore.

The same Traore who was in the team that Celtic humped 2-0 at Anfield?

he was also in the Liverpool team that beat Milan, Chelsea, Juventus. That logic is really taking us far.

What about Veron? My dad can run faster than him and he's 86.

but wait they lost to Burnley, Burnley better than Celtic, Liverpool, Milan, Juventus, Chelsea.

also if he was so bad you'd think you'd remember his actual position

Akinbiyi

Paddy Kenny got found out last year

OH NOES TYPO I AM WORST PERSON EVER

Oh and Results 1 - 10 of about 13,600 for worst premiership player traore.

Very sound googling there.

Results 1 - 10 of about 97,600 for worst premiership player ronaldo

Results 1 - 10 of about 13,200 for worst premiership player michael parkinson

Results 1 - 10 of about 23,500 for worst premiership player saddam hussein

Results 1 - 10 of about 16,900 for worst premiership player britney spears

x-post C is nowhere near L.

Quite near F though...

Results 1 - 10 of about 28,200 for worst premiership player free market capitalism

x-posts. I quite liked Stanic. Him and Gronks on the wings. That was bonkers fun. Zenden and Ambrosetti made my blood boil.

Other rubbish players:

Carl Leaburn (F)
Darren Peacock (CB)
Erik Bakke (MF)

think bosko played six games, probably not enough to have a proper detrimental effect? Spose he's kind of a good figurehead for the concept tho

JUSTIN EDINBURGH (LB)
ANTHONY BARNESS (RB)

I challenge you to find a pair of more hapless fullbacks.

Also this isn't a team without the talismanic presence of Nigel Quashie.

Zenden - useless for us, and everyone else

Gronks was great at booting the ball towards the corner flag, being so fast that he beat everyone else to it by about half an hour....then hitting the guy in row X, seat 25 of the Shed. Every time.

Steve Marlet (Fulham, striker).

Fulham should be a fertile hunting ground for prem numpties, but most of them are so anonymous that it's impossible to remember who they were.

Gerard Houllier could have put together an entire team of these on his own - Salif Diao, Bruno Cheyrou, Igor Biscan...

Gronks was great at booting the ball towards the corner flag, being so fast that he beat everyone else to it by about half an hour....then hitting the guy in row X, seat 25 of the Shed. Every time.

Except the times when he accidentally hit the back of the net, usually in crucial games as I recall.

I challenge you to find a pair of more hapless fullbacks.

I think Derby's current two, Camara and McEvely, would run them close.

did Devon White play in the Premiership for QPR i can't remember. he was a loveable lump.

ACtually they're both left back so they don't get to play at the same time, good thing too.

xposting myself

Is McEveley that bad? No arguments about Camara though.

I watched him in a Scotland jersey and decided I didn't believe he was a professional footballer so I'm basing my entire assessment on that. Slow, clumsy, can't pass, dwells on the ball.

x-post yes he started scoring in his last season. A couple of good goals in Europe IIRC, but he still couldn't cross.

I'm tempted to nominate Dave Beasant, if not for the all-time prem XI, the certainly between the sticks in the Chelsea team. Sullivan was bad, but only for a few games, Beasant was appalling for his whole Chelsea career.

I didn't think he looked that bad, but I've actually forgotten what a decent left back looks like.

(xpost to onimo)

no senderos hate?

Worst Premiership Spurs XI must go to:

Neil Sullivan, Justin Edinburgh, Ramon Vega, Dean Richards, Dean Austin, Moussa Saib, Andy Sinton, Milenko Acimovic, Jose Dominguez, Helder Postiga, Gregor Raziak.

It hurts to even look at that.

Andy Sinton

Dude was OK at QPR?

Gilles Grimandi, Remy Garde for the Arse

How bad was Andy Reid for Spurs?

Stephan Guivarch, Javier Margas, Florin Raduciou, Stepanov.

I remember there were cartoons mocking Beasant at the time constantly. eg a burning building with a guy screaming "help! help!" and a well caricatured Beasant approaches and says "jump down, I've got you".

"Is there anyone else down there?"

Who was that geezer at Newcastle? Nunez or someone.

Actually I'm going to nominate Jason Lee as well. When you are blaming Frank Skinner and David Baddiel for ruining your footballing career it is time to GIVE UP ON YOUR SORRY EXCUSE FOR A LIFE.

Also Bobby Mimms, probably the worst Prem goalie I can remember.

Andy Sinton has England caps, doesn't he? How bad, exactly, were England at that time?

LOL Ramon Vega. He left Celtic because he didn't feel his ambitions would be realised there, and went to fucking Watford, the tool.

franny jeffers and rebrov are nowhere near bad enough for this thread

In Franny Jeffers we're talking about a "striker" who has scored a total of 12 league goals since leaving Everton in 2001 and five of them were in lower leagues! <2 goals a season for a player Wenger touted as being the next Ian Wright.

I once saw a great fight between Devon White and Dennis Wise.

Branco (DF) was very bad.

Finidi George (MF)

David Bellion (CF)

Ned Zelic (MF)

Jimmy Carter (MF)

Glen Helder (MF)

Eddie McGoldrick (MF)

Barry Venison (DF) - didn' the play for England?

Wotsit Nethercott (Spurs, CB)

The entire Sunderland team from two seasons ago.

x-post: Ah, Jason lee. My part in his downfall.

For Chelsea : Jody Morris. Slow, dirty and thick.

George Graham put together a right shower of shite towards the end at Arsenal - mmm Eddie McGoldrick, Chris Kiwomya, GLENN HELDER.

Thomas Brolin

^winner^

David May probably has the highest Premiership-titles-to-quality ratio in history.

Brolin really is in another league.

Post-football went on to sell hoovers and record a song with Dr Alban

Laurent Blanc

Post-football went on to sell hoovers and record a song with Dr Alban

Does that season at Palace count as football or not?

I remember there were cartoons mocking Beasant at the time constantly. eg a burning building with a guy screaming "help! help!" and a well caricatured Beasant approaches and says "jump down, I've got you".

"Is there anyone else down there?"

That was Damage In The Box in 90 Minutes which was regularly pretty funniez. Beasant's bad spell at that time is still unprecedented isn't it? Robinson needs to keep it up until at least Christmas to be a challenger

Damage In The Box also had a great Robbie Fowler to Stan Collymore "You want a kipper tie?" "Thanks, milk two sugars" gag as well.

worst premiership manager ever: les reed or sammy lee - or...?

Reid.

Peter, not Les.

Think he cost us points for five successive games (there was a calamity at home v Norwich when he threw in three, and I remember seeing a very bad mistake at Anfield in the game when Paul Elliott was done by Saunders).

x-post Peter Withe, that Wimbledon Norwegian or Dr Joe Venglos shorely.

I thought this thread meant current players. Jeez Lee Naylor and half of our Premiership squad need to be on here.

Lee Naylor can get in any "worst SPL players" list he wants at the moment :-)

(he was pretty good last season, but seems to have rediscovered exactly why no-one other than Wolves wanted him for 10 years)

Christian Gross could give Les Reed a run for his money I think.

Avram Grant worst manager ever.

x-post Pete : That Norwich game when Beasant chucked in 3 goals was on my 30th birthday :(

Anyone remember William Prunier. He played a game for Man U on loan from some French Club - he was a centre-back. I think they got humped 4-0 or something and he was never seen again.

http://www.qprnet.com/images/managers/Stewart%20Houston.jpg

Jan Aage Fjortoft and Ade Akinbiyi upfront, maybe?

Naylor was always shit, ails. He looks good going forwards sometimes but he can't defend to save his life.

Anyone remember William Prunier. He played a game for Man U on loan from some French Club - he was a centre-back. I think they got humped 4-0 or something and he was never seen again.

-- Dr.C, Friday, 19 October 2007 13:26 (57 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Istvan Kozma, William Prunier (CB)

-- Dom Passantino, Friday, 19 October 2007 10:38 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Fjortoft was GREAT. Top 10 premiership fatteys ever, easily.

Man: Mick McCarthy

which manager had the biggest fall from grace after moving from one 'over-achieving' side to a snoozing giant?

Mike Walker?

I suspect Kenny Miller is going to have the same sort of season this year as he had with Wolves too, i.e. not scoring anywhere near enough goals.

xpost Oh good work on Prunier.

Chairman: Robert Chase

Actually, as a side note, are there any members of Leeds United's relegation year side that don't qualify here?

Why you all make Steadinho cry?

Dom that's a bit harsh on Alan Smith. Although Ian Harte, never did such a shit player get through so many games on being sweet with a dead ball.

Woodgate was there for part of that season yes?

http://football.guardian.co.uk/Match_Report/0,1527,1208416,00.html

It's not actually THAT bad a team.

James Milner: remember when this guy and Wayne Rooney were spoken about in the same breath? Crazy times.

You know, we really need Vinnie Jones and John Fashanu in here for comedy value alone.

Alessandro Pistone (CB, LB)

I saw Vinny's Chelsea debut. Booked within about 10 seconds for a chest high two-footed lunge. Love the man!

Dean Holdsworth (CF).

x-post Vinny was never that bad, or at least as bad as I expected.

Actually, as a side note, are there any members of Leeds United's relegation year side that don't qualify here?

Mark Viduka. Unless you're still talking about premiership fatteys.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=73205610

No Vinny was OK.

Did Jason Dozell make Matt's Spurs worst XI? Can't be bothered to look upthread.

Mikkel Beck (reputedly Striker) Middlesborough

You know those really cheap crap birthday cards that no-one ever buys that are "happy birthday to a football fan" and always have ancient pictures of ugly men with bad perms and too-tight shorts jumping for a ball? I've got one of them somewhere with Terry Hurlock on it.

Marcelo (CB) Newcastle.

Didn't he used to post here?

I've got one of them somewhere with Terry Hurlock on it.

I want this item! It's like those pictures from 20 seasons ago you still see on the windows outside bookies.

x-post ooh Hurlock was great! There's a bloke who drinks in my local who looks just like him.

http://www.sporting-heroes.net/files_football/HURLOCK_Terry_19901013_SF_R.jpg

Pete - Gareth Hall for right-back in the Chels worst of?

I'm tempted to nominate Dave Beasant, if not for the all-time prem XI, the certainly between the sticks in the Chelsea team. Sullivan was bad, but only for a few games, Beasant was appalling for his whole Chelsea career.

Sullivan Beasant was immense when at Wimbledon

x-post to self : I meant MARCELINO.

Also what about J-A BOUMSONG!! Terrible!

x-post it didn't help Beasant when he had to play behind such defensive colossi as Jason Cundy and Graham Roberts.

Oh, he's had a mention, don't worry.

xpost re Boumsong

I seem to recall Hurlock breaking the net with a shot once

Holy fuck, Cundy was dreadful

Silvi Maric, then. 'Striker', Newcastle

Yeah, I was thinking Gareth Hall but I did once see him score the winner against United.

This from a Sunderland site. 'However the signing of Gareth Hall must rank as one of the biggest mistakes of Peter Reid’s managerial career. His decision to stick with the man who was voted Chelsea’s worst ever player shortly after he arrived at Roker park was surely the biggest error of his life.'

x-post I was distraught when we sold Cundy. I wrote to the fanzines about it!

Of the players mentioned so far, both Dozell and Jason Lee looked massively out of their depth playing for the Cobblers, let alone a Premiership team

The biggest error of Peter Reid's managerial career. Just think about that for one minute.

Can we do a fat Premiership footballers XI? Andy Reid, Neville Southall, Jan Molby, Razor Ruddock, Jan Aage Fjortoft, Frank Lampard, it'd be a cracking team.

Frank Sinclair (CB) - I kinda like him despite a decade of unparalleled shitness, starting at Chelsea. Always knocks in a few classy own goals too.

Mickey Quinn!

Laurent Charvet (FB, CB) Man City and Newcastle

All this talk is making me want to play footie again!

Put Shaun Wright-Phillips' mum in the Fatteys XI as well.

Per Kroldrup (it was after he was seen at Bellefield "practising his heading" - in a fairly basic "this part of your head, Per lad" kinda way - that we knew Moyes had signed someone purely for the five-a-sides). Oh, and Andy van der Meyde. Though I s'pose you'd need some actual evidence of him playing a few Premiership games to warrant consideration. Did get sent off in a derby which is always great.

There were plenty of Everton players from the mid-'90s who were worse but I've sort of erased that era from my memory.

Jean Michel Ferri. In Fowler's book he says he reckons Ferri was bought solely as a spy for Houllier.

x-post let me jog it for you Michael, Hottiger, Bakayoko, Pistone, Brett Angell!

I don't think you can have Prunier, there's not enough to go on. He only played in two games in two days: he played well in one game (which United won) and badly the other (which they lost). Before he turned up United had only won one in six games, so it's not like he had any significant impact.

I was going to nominate Brolin, but someone's got in there before me.

It kind of depends if we're talking about genuine lack of ability (in which case I'm sure there plenty of rubbish Barnsley, Swindon, Bradford, Wolves, etc. players that we've forgotten about) or expensive signings arriving with big reputations and completely failing to deliver (I'm thinking Jeffers, Veron and Shevchenko).

For Man Utd I'd say Darren Ferguson, Jordi Cruyff, David May (until he was allowed to play in the middle), Massimo Taibi, Eric Djemba-Djemba, Liam Miller, Kleberson, and David Bellion.

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Chris Waddle's daughter gets pissy on Facebook

Earl Barrett (FB) Everton