depressing phrases

vegan thanksgiving

"The latest circulation figures are in."

"It's a free country."

"It's not a free country"

"Short term measures"

"today in iraq..."

"Organizational changes"

"Michael McIntyre"

"How about another round of applause for..."

"To continue in English, press '1'"

Opening post ftw.

premature ejaculation

Bush legacy.

supergroup

another 50 minutes of nonstop hits

mcartneyesque melodic pop

Have Your Say

We've just had a small request come through from Finance...

"the blog she broke up with you on"

saturday commute

teaching philosophy

You will have experience in ...

Today on the stock market. . .

happy birthday

did you have a poppyseed bagel for lunch?

"can we give tonight a miss?"

"it is what it is"

I really, really do not want to have to police you on that each week.

telecommunications

can I have a word with you?

pushback

Typically: anything that can be represented by an acronym.

"The fact of the matter is"
"meal solutions" - how a supermarket were promoting their shoddy ready meals

We need to talk...

"workshop"

"Develop your skillset"

"company retreat"

two words that could make me quit on the spot

service area

ASAP - as in "we need this done ASAP"
And that is different from the usual situation how exactly?

regret to advise

"Christmas shopping"

"We're looking for an English manager with experience of fighting against relegation"

I HATE "it is what it is."

Also, "2-3+ years experience required" for every single job ad ever.

"clouds expected to be with us for at least the rest of the week"

can I have a word with you?

^ so, so true.

"I'm not racist, but..."

'ladies and gentlemen, YOUR detroit lions!'

^^lolz

You'll have to *insert thing that you are supposed to be paid to do* in your own free time.

"To continue in English, press '1'"

― invisible jet (wanko ergo sum), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 8:57 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's because I hate automated menus, not ESLs, just to clarify

franchise

actually it's just a word but it depresses me

"You know about computers, don't you?"

'Say the name of the product or service you wish to inquire about'

big night out
staff night out
staff drinks
work night out
drinks after work
after-work drinks

etc.

"Last orders at the bar!"

Can't believe we've got this far without that one.

xpost It depends on your colleagues, of course ;)

'heads-up'

'going forward' x 293874290387409238749023817401298740129384

'last updated X minutes ago by the sir weeze'

we are seeking synergies

(we are seeking synergies *going forward*)

"we're gonna have to take it all apart and start over"
"sorry, we're closed"

"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Please state the name of..."

i have a grudging respect for bullshit business phrases. it allows you to talk about things that nobody cares about with some regularity. it's only a problem if people buy into them or don't understand that it's shorthand that you shouldn't use out of the office.

Audacity has encountered a problem and needs to close...

THIS

"everyone is dry as fuck lately"

have you been drinking?

"bloodwork"

"this is your fault"

"real job"

"do you know why I pulled you over?"

"any more coffee and you may wind up with ulcerative colitis"

"so cut back on the coffee"

"and the drinking"

"and the spicy foods"

this doctor clearly doesn't understand that my dietary choices are an important part of my identity

"my dietary choices are an important part of my identity"

"To continue in English, press '1'"

'to continue in english, press 2' on 311 makes me smile. it's nice living somewhere where it isn't automatically assumed.

"sand went EVERYwhere" for depressing/disgusting phrases, anyway

Not a phrase, but:

Twitter Magnets combines the fun of Magnetic Poetry and Twitter into one web app.

"It'll have to come out."

Please call back during regular business hours ...

"We can still be friends."

"my dietary choices are an important part of my identity"

― BIG HOOS' macaroni is off the motherfucking chain (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:53 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark

"it's all downhill from here"

but...if it was all uphill from here, that would also be bad!

:(

it's flat land from here

it's generally undulating from here nothing severe in either direction, don't worry

http://keithlyons.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/sisyphus-sign.jpg

One a friend said to me today which was depressing because I thought better of her: "well you cant help anyone who chooses to be homeless and nor should you".

http://i46.tinypic.com/2m43b88.jpg

looooool

the myth of sisyphus loses a good deal of its philosophical power when you include the part about the dragon, but it's the truth dammit

http://smartpei.typepad.com/robert_patersons_weblog/prometheus.jpg

"We've called this meeting to unveil and to explain our new organization chart."

botched circumcision

Are you reading the John Money wiki? The details of how that botched circumcision went extend from "depressing phrase" to "dear god I wish illiteracy could have protected me from reading this."

yes :(

botched circumcision using an electric cauterizing instrument

"Scorsese's best film since ______________!"

"If I had my choice about this, we'd be keeping you on."

blubber in the blender

why would someone want to 'food process' red blubber in a lab

idk

it looks so horrible;_;

...potential synergies that we can leverage...

... regain focus on our core competancies...

credit-check

burning man

"it is what it is"

i used to hate this one but now i find its zen-like sentiment endearing

micropenis

actually I'm not gonna lie "micropenis" gives me giggle fits & thus is not depressing

data recovery

romantic comedy

lifestyle choices

holy shit I was just posting that

"alternative lifestyle choice" actually

and i was just abt to post 'alternative nation' no joke

*_*

hivemind

^^ not a depressing phrase btw

rancid meat

"with this album we've gone back to basics"
see also "a staggering return to form"

cf. "classically trained"

"team-building exercise"

"geir otm"

"faith-based"

consensus builder

'marriage is between a man and a woman'

libertarian think tank

"so not gonna happen"

take-home final

"sold out"

"produced by rick rubin"

"wind chill of..."

"no longer available"

libertarian think tank

― ice cr?m, Sunday, December 5, 2010 5:20 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

sort of a hilarious phrase imo

Makes a nice pair with 'conservative ethics'.

"the american people __________"

"well actually..."

Menu loading, please wait...

19%

"well actually..."

― patrick NAGL (corey), Sunday, December 5, 2010 4:07 PM

It has been my life goal for the past few months to just not say any sentence that starts w/this phrase. I am such a pedant, it's terrible. Nobody likes being corrected.

badditude

Are you reading the John Money wiki? The details of how that botched circumcision went extend from "depressing phrase" to "dear god I wish illiteracy could have protected me from reading this."

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Sunday, 5 December 2010 02:59 (Yesterday) Bookmark

had a cool name, tho.

One of my friends always said "well, yes" and it just seemed so condescending!

well yes but it's not

happy birthday

we're having a party

i love you

2011 is sure to be a momentous year for the 22 year old.

monday morning

you have no new messages

never a fuckin problem on monday morning, sadly

"if you dont like it here, you can always work somewhere else"

"your account balance is... 834 dollars. your available balance is... overawn... 28 dollars."

my other blogs

Networking fair

"my other blogs" FTW

we reached out for comment

elevated liver enzymes

"social story-teller"
"social media guru"

Acclaimed TED presenter.

pizza party cancelled

Republican-controlled congress

Jobseeker's Challenge

roll over to find out more

my other blogs

― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Monday, August 27, 2012 12:45 AM (16 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

booming revive.

isotonic performance fuel

(ie an energy drink)

click to enter slideshow

cost synergies

"and fantasy" (specifically after the words "science fiction" on bookshop shelves)

"First, last, and deposit"

"ft. Wale"

We did't receive.....

"Now you have a friend in the diamond business"

"Sorry we can't send you a replacement for the item that wasn't delivered, because it's no longer in stock, even though half an hour ago we said that getting a replacement to you would be no problem, because we suck at stock management and customer service."

'Philosophy and spirituality' (on library shelf)

"tell us what you think"

"Please do not reply to this e-mail."

"click here to read them all"

otm

as seen on tv

"I'm not racist, but..."

"real music played on real instruments"

"The programme allows plenty of time for networking"

'gay marriage' (esp. as a homophobic war cry)

"The debate over autonomous lethal drones"
"internalized homophobia"

"your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system"

"sunday carvery"

"strike ends"

"coolhunting seminar"

"are you busy?"

"social media coup"

social media anything really

"personal branding"

"we work Saturdays"

"unique opportunity"

"error - cd not found in database"

"that's just how I was raised"

"replacement refs"

"victory formation"

"made from 97% natural ingredients"

"The advisor you were due to see at this meeting today has left the company suddenly."

"Who just joined?"

"The unmistakeable sound of <completely generic instantly forgettable band/artist>"

20-year McDonald's employee

"i found my happy"

i know what you did

"what can you do with a [x] degree?"

"It folds out into a bed at night."

'do work that matters'

My school principal had a little sign up on the wall of her office that said "God couldn't do everything so he made mothers". That's pretty depressing.

god couldn't microwave a burrito so hot that he himself couldn't eat it so he made mothers

"Sorry I cannot help you on this occasion.

However please keep me copied in/I would be grateful to see a readout of the meeting."

Standard response from dozy officials.

"Zach Braff is the voice of his generation."

The winner of this year's Nagaland Chili Eating Competition is carried by two of his friends to a waiting ambulance.

career progression

got a vice piece hopefully up today that's very much inspired by this thread

lol

my bad

"What's your availability this weekend?"

^chills

"sorry to chase you on this"

what if the guy saying it is riding a penny farthing

yeah, if not in an email it has potential

LG currently working on a new, politer benny hill for the 21st c

5 Reasons Why You'll Never Look At This Thing The Same Way Again

"I know that's not what you wanted to hear."

^specifically regarding performance reviews/salary negotiations.

"office fancy dress charity day"

"we are where we are"

"What's your availability this weekend?"

― Word Salad Username (j.lu), Friday, June 21, 2013 11:37 AM (2 hours ago)

I associate this with cricket :)

CD-R Note: This product is manufactured on demand when ordered from Amazon.com.

"your alarm is set for 2 hours and 18 minutes from now"

"restaurant-quality"

Be confident

content aggregator

The winner of this year's Nagaland Chili Eating Competition is carried by two of his friends to a waiting ambulance.

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, May 24, 2013 11:17 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i lold

"UK Funky"

from concentrate

"This product/area contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm".

(HERE'S A--does Bill Hicks head and hand shake thing--CRAZY IDEA, HOW ABOUT NOT USING THOSE FUCKING CHEMICALS? FFS.)

i dunno, do the other states 'know'? maybe it's just like, one state's opinion, man

Here's another depressing phrase I just thought up: ONE MAN'S LAW IS ANOTHER MAN'S OPINION.

Products/areas causing cancer is some pretty serious allegation.

there's a reason they call it 'the law of the land'

Good call on that depressing phrase, j.

lil wayne unplugged

featuring kate ceberano

"a wry look at"

"sparks outrage"

"hilarious new comedy"

"I can afford it just fine, but it's the principle"

^^^ specifically in the context of working in a call centre and talking to posh customers who don't want to pay a £15 reconnection charge after you've spent all day speaking to people who have just lost their jobs/had their benefits stopped/are about to lose their flat/have sick or disabled kids but whose phone service you can't to restore because they're unable to clear their bill.

"thought shower"

"second screen experience"

'Off my own back'

"and after all I've done for you"

Be the first person to join

rent to own

i made a trip back to missouri last weekend and noticed a building that's split between Check into Cash and a Rent to Own store.

*facepalm*

"hot and ready" referring to pizzas that you can just walk in and purchase without ordering

A Tribute to the Disco Biscuits

lol

'reheated leftovers'

the phrase, not the article (mainly)

nay, that phrase for me conveys sustainability, thrift and tenacity

something something privilege

i do a lot of bulk cooking and freezing but there's something about that word combination that makes perfectly nice food seem about as appetising as a shrivelled piece of fish slathered in a camembert and chocolate sauce.

average handle time

at or above productivity targets

"mass extinction event"

something something privilege

"thank you for your patience"

and connected to the last one: "we apologize for the inconvenience"

don't apologize just FIX THE PROBLEM

"Starbucks Evenings"

http://www.starbucks.com/coffeehouse/starbucks-stores/starbucks-evenings/menu

John Legend & Lindsey Stirling

hot mugshot guy

Minecraft LARPing

"I'm going to draw you a word picture."

turkey dinner

in what world!

vegan thanksgiving

― SNAKES! (ice crӕm), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:21 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i hate the word "turkey" and also the word makes me think of being surrounded by family members i don't like asking probing questions and wondering when i'm going to find a wife. cf. "turkey time" ugh so awful!

i have a gigantic gold metallic and orange button that says "OFFICIAL TURKEY TASTER" and have worn it on Thanksgiving since ca. 1990 because in that year my sister was annoyed by it

"Canada's finest"

i have a gigantic gold metallic and orange button that says "OFFICIAL TURKEY TASTER" and have worn it on Thanksgiving since ca. 1990 because in that year my sister was annoyed by it

― jello my future biafriend (roxymuzak), Monday, November 24, 2014 8:50 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This delights me.

i hate the word "turkey" and also the word makes me think of being surrounded by family members i don't like asking probing questions and wondering when i'm going to find a wife. cf. "turkey time" ugh so awful!

― kobaïas fünke (clouds), Monday, November 24, 2014 1:48 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

with you on this. come over for family-free friendsgiving there will be turkey without the relatives.

turkey not the focus, more wine and rad sides tbh

Actor rocks a holiday onesie

______ replied to a comment on this.

"Young Republican"/ "College Republican"

"Personal pizza"

"With immediate effect"

"insurance law blog"

Also if I'm being honest, "service level agreement"

I love SLA's. And OLA's.

of the competing parody accounts, this one shows the most promise imo

For me it's account manager who feels her partying days are over but she still likes to drink wine and gossip and calls that "shenanigans"

― La Lechera, Thursday, July 9, 2015 12:55 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Share if you agree"

world sport

cryptic message on Instagram

"your call is important to us. please stay on the line and we'll be with you as soon as possible."

"Father and writer. In gutter, looking at stars. Movie quotes I live my life by: 'Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while - you might miss it.' 'Carpe Diem!' 'When somebody asks you if you're a God - you say YES!'"

"took to twitter"

Political Dog Clothing

vegan thanksgiving

― SNAKES! (ice crӕm), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 6:51 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

7 years later fuck uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, friend

http://rlv.zcache.com/political_correctness_is_fascism_dog_shirt-r92a4a5547b6b49b6bb8ad13c62bec09e_v9iow_8byvr_324.jpg

fuck u and fuck that dog and fuck that guy who made that shirt

Nothing fascist about trying to popularize the suppression of speech.

el tomboto steak rub

really?

THIS VEHICLE'S SPEED IS MONITORED BY GPS

everybodys gonna be talking about pornhub's april fools thing

"The Simpsons are going to Africa!"

BBC Question Time EU Special

Acoustic singer/songwriter

credit authorization

keep _____ weird

_______ strong

extra-judicial

hot or not?

win the 52%

summer night highway construction

Cleethorpes Winter Wonderland

"[cabinet position title] [member of Trump's cabinet]"

"Trump transition"

yeah. this thread is going to get very dreary and repetitive.

Haven't seen it yet but I thought of "trump state of the union address" the other day and felt like I was going to shit my pants.

"Xenophobia" is the Dictionary.com word of the year.

sexless marriage

the 4 day institute is a combination of a planning retreat, seminar, unconference, and sprint

"Are you busy?"

Wacky Hat Wednesday (Participation Mandatory)

Self-documenting code

"[religious affiliation] children"

ew, unconference

37 year old spaniard

You are currently in a virtual queue to ensure fair access to tickets during busy times. Please don't refresh your page, as you will lose your spot.

oh god i got thru

saw a tweet that went something like "i'm probably gonna be alive for at least 3 more spiderman trilogies"

I look forward to getting much more information and clarity from our military leaders about the policy The President tweeted today.

https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22049823_1634213729964104_2539065725353817210_n.jpg?oh=273ad09ebc10b6da27d83e7aa29852e4&oe=5A4976FF

I apologize if anyone was offended by the Holocaust poll.

"Breitbart London"

'Of all of the Beethoven movies, Beethoven's 3rd is the funniest!'

"room temperature challenge"

ratioed on Twitter

"Inspired by jazz, blues, rock, and hip-hop"

5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

"Inspired by jazz, blues, rock, and hip-hop"

“I’m sorry but”

'Gentlemen, if you’re in your 40s and you can’t effortlessly quote from any of these movies, it’s time for some Netflix homework.'

"you do you"

"biker-friendly bar"

Ending Explained

https://biblioklept.org/2018/11/20/100-phrases-culled-from-the-new-york-times-list-of-100-notable-books-of-2018/

novel that ricochets

devastatingly sidelong

overdrawn account

seemingly wordless but ultimately word-filled collection

a must-read!

posthumous debut account

a searing, blistering memoir which leaves the reader charred and half-melted

devastatingly page turner

The D.N.C. approved Iowa’s delegate selection plan, but left the state party to determine on its own how to collect and tabulate caucus results, Mr. Perez said, adding that the national party did not test the state’s app or set standards for training or preparation.

Mr. Perez said he was not responsible for what state parties and their leaders do.

“I do not conduct a performance evaluation of every party chair,” he said.

Asked whether the D.N.C. would increase its scrutiny of other caucuses run by state parties, including Nevada’s in less than two weeks, Mr. Perez said he would “implement all of the lessons learned,” but did not specify how.

i have to remember this vow, in case i'm ever leading a major project and have no idea what to do. start with implementing all of the lessons learned. details tbd

just received an email at work that contains this chestnut:

"Each week we will watch two short TED Talks to motivate us."

this is the moment when i notice that Winston Smith works in my cuberhood

I used to work in a big international company in China, the country-level big boss, an annoyingly confident US Harvard grad, came to a staff event where we were all running training sessions for each-other and opened it with a direct copy of a TED talk about "power poses" and everyone was so impressed that I was given the job of doing the same training session with my team. Then a year or so later I had the chance to apply for a position in the UK and was flown to Shanghai to interview. I did the power pose outside, as trained, then when faced with this same big boss on the interview panel, completely fucked up the interview, I was actually unable to speak at all from nerves at one point, and they didn't even give me feedback after flying me out there.
Then a bit later I found out that the author of the power poses ted talk thing had reexamined the evidence and concluded that it didn't work at all.

the shortlived power pose mania did give us this prfoundly blessed image so i can't find it too depressing

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FtSdSBJX.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

Q: is the power in question the power to make passersby think 'u r a dick'

wtf? is the power pose real? is that really it? loooool

i like to do the empathy pose. both feet tightly squeezed together, so the entire body is off balance. this shows openness and vulnerability to the team

it says "don't push me, even a tiny bit, or i will crash down and bring every single one of you motherfuckers with me"

I'm pretty much always doing the ReRun while in the office. I find that it's very effective at projecting my inner idiocy.

suspected migrants

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f5/MyAim_isTrue.jpg

Happy 130th Birthday, [dead celebrity]!

"hold space for"

COVID-19 taunt

vegan thanksgiving

― SNAKES! (ice crӕm), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 6:51 AM (eleven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

its taken me 11 years to say this...

fuck u

"...ok, i'm going to play the devil's advocate on both sides here, but..."

'Maybe it's only a little gangrenous.'

establish a regular cadence

bi-directional success

in a ideal world [...] but

"gal pal"

I don't know if this is exactly the thread for it but a very depressing phrase to enter an online debate is "playing the race card" - you instantly know that you are dealing with an irredeemable cunt.

yeah though i have to admit i mildly lol at the idea of a playing card that says "race" on it, like maybe in all caps. RACE. so you know it's the race card.

well yes, aside from the racism and lack of empathy it also reveals a stunted debating club attitude to politics

the upcoming #joeexotic series is

"It is the sixth film in the Home Alone franchise."

reading the last two posts as an exchange between two bots

"eye candy"

lightly salted

"good thread on today's covid news:"

“thousands of Black Friday deals”

Whatever your opinion on the trans debate,

AI used to create new and final Beatles song, says Paul McCartney https://t.co/HgySixrkwG

— Guardian news (@guardiannews) June 13, 2023

"The latest circulation figures are in."

― grimly fiendish, Wednesday, 12 November 2008 12:55 (fourteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

😬

cauliflower pizza bowl