("wacky"/weird news does not apply)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donald-j-trump/my-new-golf-course-a-sour_b_323741.html
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Saturday, 17 October 2009 08:05 (fourteen years ago) link
I was mentioned in the Press & Journal once - that should give you an idea of how prestigious Mr Trump's historian is.
Anyway, is that entire site an Onion parody?
― Ismael Klata, Saturday, 17 October 2009 10:38 (fourteen years ago) link
lol comments
"As a leader of Intimacy Retreats and the author of Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day, I always recommend that couples schedule time for intimacy."
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Saturday, 17 October 2009 14:56 (fourteen years ago) link
While over 90% of the locals, politicians, businesses and top historians support my project\\
lol
― Ned Trifle II, Saturday, 17 October 2009 15:02 (fourteen years ago) link
LOL at that trump article
― a perfect urkel (gbx), Saturday, 17 October 2009 15:20 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.thedeclaration.org/article/more-just-secondhand-news
I know what you’re thinking. I don’t want to read another review of that frickken Phish show! Plus I can totally download the concert for free off the internet. HELLZ NO. Last week, I saw Fleetwood Fucking Mac, and it was the greatest night of my life, and I’m going to tell you all about how much it ruled.
― ian, Friday, 20 November 2009 03:42 (fourteen years ago) link
http://grab.by/2ywT
― f1ocki (s1ocki), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:05 (fourteen years ago) link
also file under "shit that looks like a hipster runoff post but isn't"
― f1ocki (s1ocki), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:06 (fourteen years ago) link
file under 'headlines that would've made absolutely no sense to anyone 15 years ago'
― i am a big fan of japanese women (donna rouge), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:25 (fourteen years ago) link
"Fast-growing public fighting memes" is a pretty big category.
― Dark Notion (Abbott), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:26 (fourteen years ago) link
can you imagine actually reading an explanation of why this particular public fight meme has had an accelerated rate of adoption compared to other public fight memes?
― f1ocki (s1ocki), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:32 (fourteen years ago) link
Is there even another public fight meme other than bumfights? I remember that grew pretty fast...
― As your Dentist I recommend smoking: (Viceroy), Saturday, 20 February 2010 19:03 (fourteen years ago) link
pretty much every article by the DPRK's news service
― we like the cars. the cars that go burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb. (los blue jeans), Saturday, 20 February 2010 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.forbes.com/2010/02/23/flint-autos-toyota-business-recall.html?boxes=Homepagelighttop
― pithfork (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 23:16 (fourteen years ago) link
http://images.forbes.com/media/commentary/jflint.jpg
― pithfork (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 23:17 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/309172,report-taxi-driver-remake-mulled-by-scorcese-von-trier.html
― that guy who doesn't get it but doesn't know he doesn't get it (M.V.), Wednesday, 24 February 2010 14:04 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-silicone-bullet25-2010feb25,0,1532754.story
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 February 2010 03:42 (fourteen years ago) link
no, von trier, nooooooo!
― Nhex, Thursday, 25 February 2010 04:54 (fourteen years ago) link
http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/8057/theage.jpg
― badg, Thursday, 25 February 2010 05:14 (fourteen years ago) link
Grandpa Wins $10000 iTunes Gift Card
― this is awful I want Togo home (harbl), Friday, 26 February 2010 12:44 (fourteen years ago) link
"Socially alert student poet unimpressed by conformity"
― fat ass idiot butt munch (PappaWheelie V), Friday, 26 February 2010 18:12 (fourteen years ago) link
I would like to see von Trier incorporate all these stories into his Taxi Driver remake.
― that guy who doesn't get it but doesn't know he doesn't get it (M.V.), Friday, 26 February 2010 18:16 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254205/High-noon-Stamford-Bridge-John-Terry-comes-face-face-man-betrayed-shake-hands.html
The entire dailymail site had some choice cuts but I went with this one.
― RubyNoir, Saturday, 27 February 2010 16:33 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/pennsylvania/20100228_Thieves_take_jewelry__leave_child_at_Phila__store.html
― StanM, Sunday, 28 February 2010 20:07 (fourteen years ago) link
lol @ comments on stan's article.
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Sunday, 28 February 2010 20:50 (fourteen years ago) link
i like to read this thread title like:
shit! that looks like an onion article but isn't
― bracken free ditch (Ste), Sunday, 28 February 2010 21:07 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/03/22/real.men.eat.salad/index.html?hpt=Mid
(CNN) -- Real men eat salads. I know this because I am a dude. Right now, in my fridge, I have five bottles of hot sauce, a jar of Cheez Whiz and half a pack of hot dogs. But recently I went to lunch with a couple of buds, and I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard.
It was a basic frissée salad with bacon, shallots and a poached egg, tossed in a light vinaigrette. Frissée is a curly, toothsome leaf, bitter enough to balance bacon and egg but still possessed of a pleasant spring.
My friends laughed at me. They pointed. One ordered a burger, the other fried calamari. I was chastised for not eating "man food."
For those of you who aren't familiar with this gender normative term, "man food" is food that you'd imagine a lumberjack or a cowboy or a Viking would eat. Towers of butter-soaked pancakes. Pots of napalm-hot chili. Meat on a bone.
Thoroughly unsubtle, "man food" is rustic fare meant to satisfy a hearty appetite. Quantity is prized over quality. Calories are "fun points." The more "fun points," the tastier the belly filler.
But sometimes a dude needs a change. Specifically, a salad. A fresh, crisp, crunchy salad. Salads offer breathers between manly meals. Spinach, cucumber, tomato, red onions, mushrooms, chickpeas, oil and vinegar -- that is my usual jam.
I don't need any fancy, goopy dressings compromising my vegetables. (What does a ranch actually taste like, anyway?) Sometimes, I might throw some almonds or walnuts up in there. I've been known to be down with blueberries and mandarin oranges. I like bacon or grilled chicken on occasion. I am not a fan of unnecessary carbs like croutons. And then there are those moments I go crazy and get a frissée freakin' salad.
I didn't evolve without help. There was a time where, if I cut myself shaving, I'd bleed sausage gravy. My heart squeezed more than it pumped. And I also grew what I call "fat wings."
Luckily, the woman I was dating at that time didn't like any of those things. Being able to sit in a bathtub full of buffalo wings is every dude's birthright, but I eventually learned that being attractive for your significant other is also pretty manly.
My girlfriend was a smart woman and didn't bring up my devolving into a human biscuit. What she did was announce that we were going to save money so that Saturday nights, we could go to the local barbecue joint and destroy some cow with our faces.
Obviously, my first thought was, "Aww, she wants me to help her lose weight." So I humored her. She came home from the supermarket with a stack of plastic disposable containers. In each, she put one potential salad ingredient. Not only the ones that would become my favorite but kidney beans, green peppers, corn and pepperoni slices.
She created a mini-salad bar in our fridge. It was easy, and I was told I could eat as much as I wanted. This became my lunch and occasional dinner.
You know what? We saved money. I lost weight. Gained energy. And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.
I kept this up this salad-centric diet for months. My friends would come over to watch a fight or brawl on the PlayStation, and I'd meet them at the door with a salad in my hand.
The landlord would need my help with some drywall; I'd put my salad down.
At work, I'd articulate corporate strategy during lunch meetings spearing cucumbers in my lucky bowl of awesome salad. I made eating salad sexy. I made it macho, macho.
Is it rabbit food? Friend, if it's rabbit food, then that rabbit is the size of a ferocious bear.
My friends poked fun at me as I munched on my fancy salad. It was tasty. I love how the warm yolk from the poached egg lightly coated the frissée, adding a dimension of hardiness to a dish with such leafy bounce. And the bacon chunks added just the right amount of fatty salt, more sturdy ballast. I wiped my mouth.
We were out celebrating one guy's birthday. The other guy, an old friend from college, was "in-between gigs." It had been another tough year. "Salad is not man food," they mocked. Oh, but it is. I ordered a final round of beers. Then I picked up the check.
Are salads manly? What is the manliest salad? Are you the sort of guy who wouldn't touch a salad if a gun was put to his head? Tell us in the comments whether you think salads can count as "man food."
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:33 (fourteen years ago) link
where to start
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:38 (fourteen years ago) link
I love how the warm yolk from the poached egg lightly coated the frissée, adding a dimension of hardiness to a dish with such leafy bounce. And the bacon chunks added just the right amount of fatty salt, more sturdy ballast. I wiped my mouth.
YUM YUM
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:38 (fourteen years ago) link
Is that an Anderson Cooper piece?
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:40 (fourteen years ago) link
Being able to sit in a bathtub full of buffalo wings is every dude's birthright
Who does this?
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:41 (fourteen years ago) link
why doesnt he just call it a salad lyonnaise
― max, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:42 (fourteen years ago) link
good salad btw--i saw jacques pepin make one once on PBS, he poached the egg in like 2 inches of olive oil
― max, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:43 (fourteen years ago) link
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, March 23, 2010 4:38 PM
I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard.
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:44 (fourteen years ago) link
"Salad is not man food," they mocked. Oh, but it is. I ordered a final round of beers. Then I picked up the check.
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:45 (fourteen years ago) link
pooping before bathing in your tub of buffalo wings
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:46 (fourteen years ago) link
but what about:
And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:46 (fourteen years ago) link
And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.
xpost HA!
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:46 (fourteen years ago) link
Calories are "fun points." The more "fun points," the tastier the belly filler.
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:47 (fourteen years ago) link
"""""""""fun points"""""""""
this guy needs to advertise his services, like:
john devore, a local "dude," will talk to you about what is manly and how it is different from what you might think.
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:48 (fourteen years ago) link
first of all, i want to know why this is on cnn.com? what is the market for this? do people read articles on cnn.com aside from actual news?
secondly, how is it that articles like this get pitched/accepted/assigned like... 5 years after a meme like "man food" became a "thing". if you had shown the text of this to me undated i would've been all "no way this was written after 2005, not a chance"
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:48 (fourteen years ago) link
had no idea that calories were fun points. i mean, i like fun!
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:49 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.esquire.com/blogs/lists/reasons-why-chocolate-drink-yoohoo-rocks-blog
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:49 (fourteen years ago) link
Maybe once age and decrepitude have strip-mined by palette, I'll think about swilling a Yoo-Hoo. The risk-taking of a convalescent. But even then, I doubt I'll wrap my wrinkled lips around a Yoo-Hoo jar.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/lists/reasons-why-chocolate-drink-yoohoo-rocks-blog#ixzz0j2EUvn70
someone get howie long to comment on this
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:50 (fourteen years ago) link
uuuuuuuuuuughh did he really say "whoopee time" -- was this even edited? C'MON MAN
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:50 (fourteen years ago) link
okay, so maybe it's satire!
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:51 (fourteen years ago) link
maybe?
no
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:51 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.johndevore.com/
i mean look at the guy
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:52 (fourteen years ago) link
he says he's a satirist so it must be satire
― harbl, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:52 (fourteen years ago) link
take him down on twitter j0rdan s. like you took down JOSE CANSECO
i have to know if he has kids
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:53 (fourteen years ago) link
is it possible that he trojan horsed cnn?
He's Facebook friends with ghost rider.
― jam master (jaymc), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:54 (fourteen years ago) link
lol.
how's your little mansalad there, john.
― gelatinous rube (brownie), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:55 (fourteen years ago) link
Editor's note: John DeVore is a former editor at Maxim magazine and maxim.com and former host of "The DeVore and Diana Show" on Sirius XM radio. He currently offers man-centric perspectives as a columnist at Guyspeak.com and TheFrisky.com. He's a lifelong food freak and yo-yo dieter and speaks fluent "dude."
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:56 (fourteen years ago) link
hmmmm
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:58 (fourteen years ago) link
omg fuck this guy
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:59 (fourteen years ago) link
shit that looks like an onion website but isn't
http://www.guyspeak.com/
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:01 (fourteen years ago) link
If a guy confines a girl to the friend zone, does that always mean he finds her unattractive?Panama Jackson answered this question on March 23, 2010 12:00 PM
Not at all. You can be the most attractive woman on Earth and be relegated to the friend zone. You see, you might ALSO be batsh*t crazy. There's no easier way to end up in the friend zone then pure insanity.
You see, ugly women end up in the friend zone by default. They don't get put there. They just live there because most men will not attempt to romance or win the love of a busted broad.
And even still, attractive women pretty much have to go way far out there to end up in the friend zone. Men will put up with a lot from attractive women. We'll deal with her strange comments and terrible taste in music. We'll build really big wooden horses and storm beaches until one of our homeboy's gets shot in his why-are-you-famous achilles heel. But there is always a point where you've gone too far. And it varies by man.
For instance, I couldn't deal with a really hot chick that got violent after being drunk. And I mean violent with pool sticks and throwing kettles into pots to make formal introductions.
So inconclusion, read my lips. If you're in the friend zone, it's probably not just because you are unattractive. You might be hot. It's probably because you are insane.
Thank you and good night.
It was written.
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:02 (fourteen years ago) link
oh dear God
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:02 (fourteen years ago) link
lol oh boy
http://www.guyspeak.com/personas/reformed-player/
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:04 (fourteen years ago) link
o_O
― harbl, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:04 (fourteen years ago) link
Didn't Dave Eggers used to freelance/edit Maxim or some lad mag?
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:37 (fourteen years ago) link
Esquire
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:40 (fourteen years ago) link
Eggers worked briefly at Esquire, which is a men's magazine but a touch classier than Maxim.
― jam master (jaymc), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:41 (fourteen years ago) link
That seems a bit like saying Playboy is a touch classier than Juggs.
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:52 (fourteen years ago) link
esquire occasionally has some good stuff
― just sayin, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Esquire used to (and maybe still does) run fiction and long form essays--don't think Maxim ever has. Esquire has gotten a lot trashier in the past few years, but still.
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:54 (fourteen years ago) link
maxim = #1 source for biting satire
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 22:18 (fourteen years ago) link
http://shirleytemplebar.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/maxim-laceychabert2.jpg
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 22:20 (fourteen years ago) link
This guy's shit reads so much like he's trying to overcompensate for complete lack of balls imo.
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 00:09 (fourteen years ago) link
IM A MAN WOMEN ARE CRAZY SLUTS PS I EAT SALAD
I mean wtf.
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 00:10 (fourteen years ago) link
For those of you who aren't familiar with this gender normative term
glad this guy went to college!
― it is just like an unknown puzzle till the end of the world (dyao), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 01:14 (fourteen years ago) link
lollll
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 02:12 (fourteen years ago) link
Police: Shirtless man with sword 'hunting werewolves'
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 15:54 (fourteen years ago) link
Should we tell Mr. Smedley?
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 15:57 (fourteen years ago) link
Schizophrenic, Psychotic or Meth?
― Il suffit de ne pas l'envier (Michael White), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:01 (fourteen years ago) link
Why not a trifecta, really.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:03 (fourteen years ago) link
now why would you make fun of someone who's trying to protect us all?
― ksh, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:03 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm philolycanthropic that way.
― Il suffit de ne pas l'envier (Michael White), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link
The man disarmed himself without incident
Given the circumstances, a certain Monty Python sketch comes to mind.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:05 (fourteen years ago) link
hey look esquire still publishes fiction. and look who it is. Mr. Columbia MFA program
http://www.esquire.com/fiction/james-franco-fiction-0410
― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:36 (fourteen years ago) link
saw that in the magazine, quit reading when I saw:
Joe sucks off his cigarette.
Aside from general juvenile LOLs I can't believe no one in his MFA program or at Esquire saw that and suggested he look for an alternate phrasing.
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:38 (fourteen years ago) link
that has to be intentionally worded that way
― ksh, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:40 (fourteen years ago) link
gee, do you think
― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:41 (fourteen years ago) link
Do any of you feel like correcting Mr. Franco's work like that one guy did to Dan Brown?
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:47 (fourteen years ago) link
its not all that bad a story? i dont know if it wouldve been published if it werent franco but really its not dan brown-level
― max, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 19:52 (fourteen years ago) link
not very onion-esque either
― ☀☃ (am0n), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link
sorry am0n
― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 20:05 (fourteen years ago) link
;-)
― ☀☃ (am0n), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 20:28 (fourteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, March 24, 2010 11:54 AM
haha C.H.U.D.s
― ☀☃ (am0n), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 20:33 (fourteen years ago) link
the black gaping gap
― W i l l, Thursday, 25 March 2010 14:28 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/terrorism-in-the-uk/7510350/Terrorists-could-use-exploding-breast-implants-to-blow-up-jet.html
― Roz, Thursday, 25 March 2010 21:13 (fourteen years ago) link
http://htmlgiant.com/craft-notes/james-franco-edited-by-the-tyrant/#more-30210
― Mr. Que, Friday, 26 March 2010 19:00 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug5U9uBi8uA
― it is just like an unknown puzzle till the end of the world (dyao), Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:07 (fourteen years ago) link
That's kind of like the onion though - it's a funny campaign by a dairy consortium (you're weak because you don't drink enough milk, etc).
― StanM, Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:11 (fourteen years ago) link
haha, so it is
― it is just like an unknown puzzle till the end of the world (dyao), Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:13 (fourteen years ago) link
I kept on thinking though, if it's gonna take 2-30 weeks for delivery, that milk is going to be pretty gross by the time it gets to you
― it is just like an unknown puzzle till the end of the world (dyao), Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:14 (fourteen years ago) link
man, milk be doing virals huh?
― forksclovetofu, Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:14 (fourteen years ago) link
Pizza Pizza Royalty Income Fund and Pizza Pizza Limited Announce the Passing of Pizza Pizza's Chief Executive Officer 8:16 AM EST
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 31 March 2010 16:32 (thirteen years ago) link
Spotting this in the print edition today:http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/medicine/article7080666.ece
Perhaps a bit more Iannucci than Onion.
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 31 March 2010 16:34 (thirteen years ago) link
Police sting involving rabbit costume sparks criticism in Glendale.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 April 2010 17:35 (thirteen years ago) link
“One of the violators said he was confused by it,” Sgt. Dennis Smith told the News-Press. “He said he hopped in front of him.”
― goole, Thursday, 1 April 2010 17:39 (thirteen years ago) link
If only they had picked a bee costume for their sting, it would have been a lot less confusing.
― StanM, Thursday, 1 April 2010 18:07 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/27/mia.music.video/index.html?hpt=T2
M.I.A. music video elicits strong online responseBy Lisa Respers France, CNN(CNN) -- If singer/rapper M.I.A.'s purpose was to get people talking about her new single "Born Free," she succeeded.The Sri Lankan-born artist debuted the graphic video on Monday. Immediately, fans took to social media to debate its scenes of military force, violence and brutality."M.I.A. is a provocateur and someone who tries to rile people up in a variety of ways," said Saul Austerlitz, author of "Money for Nothing: A History of the Music Video from the Beatles to the White Stripes.""I think one of the main routes that she takes to that end is the political, and this video has a lot of political resonances, things like Guantanamo, the Iraqi insurgency and the Taliban all sort of jumbled together and rebranded."The almost nine-minute video for the song from her upcoming album includes nudity as well as scenes of brutality. Directed by filmmaker Romain Gavras, the video revolves around the rounding up of red-headed young men by a group of military commandos.At one point, a boy is shot point-blank in the head and another young man is blown to pieces. YouTube reportedly yanked the video in light of its content.Sasha Pasulka, managing editor for pop culture website "Evil Beet," said M.I.A. couldn't have played the publicity game better."It's much better for her that YouTube pulled it because now she gets to rant about that," Pasulka said.And rant the artist did. She took to her official Twitter account to berate her record label, Universal Music Group, for the video being pulled."(Expletive) UMG WHO WONT SHOW IT ON YOUTUBE!" she wrote before tweeting four minutes later "OK NOT UMG FAULT!"A request by CNN for comment from M.I.A.'s publicist did not receive a response.Pasulka said M.I.A. is following the tradition established by artists such as Michael Jackson in using a longer video as a means of artistic expression. And while it is not clear exactly what message M.I.A. is trying to get across, Pasulka said it is obvious she is trying to provoke thought among viewers."If you look at M.I.A.'s life, there is a history of political activism," Pasulka said. "She's the daughter of a revolutionary who fought for an independent state in Sri Lanka, so she is obviously trying to make a political statement."On Twitter, fans like one who goes by the moniker "ziggy0stardust" appealed to the artist for her inspiration by writing "@ M.I.A. can u tell us what u were tryin (sic) to say wiv (sic) the born free vid please" while other reactions ranged from those like "Hadge" who wrote "I just watched M.I.A.'s new music video for "Born Free" and now I feel like throwing up. What an awful, awful video" to those like SEFGray who tweeted "M.I.A's Born Free video blew me away, along with the actors."MTV.com writer James Montgomery hailed M.I.A. for the unflinching video."Yes, it's brutal and at times a bit overly dramatic, but it's also a form of political protest, a downright subversive bit of art created by an artist on a major label, Interscope," Montgomery wrote.Austerlitz pointed out that the video's director is the son of Costa Gavras, a noted filmmaker whose work has also blended politics and entertainment. M.I.A.'s video also took inspiration from the 1971 film "Punishment Park," written and directed by Peter Watkins, Austerlitz said."['Punishment Park' is] a movie about a totalitarian state where young people are rounded up, brought out to a deserted area and essentially told if they could outrun the police, they could live, but that the police would basically be hunting them," Austerlitz said."It's sort of a dystopian look at late '60s American protests and student movements," Austerlitz added. "It's clear that the second half of the video has been taken almost shot for shot from that film.In an age where so many musicians are trying to break free from the pack and be viewed as artists with something to say, Pasulka said M.I.A. may have succeeded in generating even more buzz than the industry's current poster girl for all things provocative -- Lady GaGa."I would say she out-GaGaed Lady GaGa," Pasulka said. "This has the potential for even more coverage than all of the interest that surrounded 'Telephone.' "
By Lisa Respers France, CNN
(CNN) -- If singer/rapper M.I.A.'s purpose was to get people talking about her new single "Born Free," she succeeded.
The Sri Lankan-born artist debuted the graphic video on Monday. Immediately, fans took to social media to debate its scenes of military force, violence and brutality.
"M.I.A. is a provocateur and someone who tries to rile people up in a variety of ways," said Saul Austerlitz, author of "Money for Nothing: A History of the Music Video from the Beatles to the White Stripes."
"I think one of the main routes that she takes to that end is the political, and this video has a lot of political resonances, things like Guantanamo, the Iraqi insurgency and the Taliban all sort of jumbled together and rebranded."
The almost nine-minute video for the song from her upcoming album includes nudity as well as scenes of brutality. Directed by filmmaker Romain Gavras, the video revolves around the rounding up of red-headed young men by a group of military commandos.
At one point, a boy is shot point-blank in the head and another young man is blown to pieces. YouTube reportedly yanked the video in light of its content.
Sasha Pasulka, managing editor for pop culture website "Evil Beet," said M.I.A. couldn't have played the publicity game better.
"It's much better for her that YouTube pulled it because now she gets to rant about that," Pasulka said.
And rant the artist did. She took to her official Twitter account to berate her record label, Universal Music Group, for the video being pulled.
"(Expletive) UMG WHO WONT SHOW IT ON YOUTUBE!" she wrote before tweeting four minutes later "OK NOT UMG FAULT!"
A request by CNN for comment from M.I.A.'s publicist did not receive a response.
Pasulka said M.I.A. is following the tradition established by artists such as Michael Jackson in using a longer video as a means of artistic expression. And while it is not clear exactly what message M.I.A. is trying to get across, Pasulka said it is obvious she is trying to provoke thought among viewers.
"If you look at M.I.A.'s life, there is a history of political activism," Pasulka said. "She's the daughter of a revolutionary who fought for an independent state in Sri Lanka, so she is obviously trying to make a political statement."
On Twitter, fans like one who goes by the moniker "ziggy0stardust" appealed to the artist for her inspiration by writing "@ M.I.A. can u tell us what u were tryin (sic) to say wiv (sic) the born free vid please" while other reactions ranged from those like "Hadge" who wrote "I just watched M.I.A.'s new music video for "Born Free" and now I feel like throwing up. What an awful, awful video" to those like SEFGray who tweeted "M.I.A's Born Free video blew me away, along with the actors."
MTV.com writer James Montgomery hailed M.I.A. for the unflinching video.
"Yes, it's brutal and at times a bit overly dramatic, but it's also a form of political protest, a downright subversive bit of art created by an artist on a major label, Interscope," Montgomery wrote.
Austerlitz pointed out that the video's director is the son of Costa Gavras, a noted filmmaker whose work has also blended politics and entertainment. M.I.A.'s video also took inspiration from the 1971 film "Punishment Park," written and directed by Peter Watkins, Austerlitz said.
"['Punishment Park' is] a movie about a totalitarian state where young people are rounded up, brought out to a deserted area and essentially told if they could outrun the police, they could live, but that the police would basically be hunting them," Austerlitz said.
"It's sort of a dystopian look at late '60s American protests and student movements," Austerlitz added. "It's clear that the second half of the video has been taken almost shot for shot from that film.
In an age where so many musicians are trying to break free from the pack and be viewed as artists with something to say, Pasulka said M.I.A. may have succeeded in generating even more buzz than the industry's current poster girl for all things provocative -- Lady GaGa.
"I would say she out-GaGaed Lady GaGa," Pasulka said. "This has the potential for even more coverage than all of the interest that surrounded 'Telephone.' "
― by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 02:50 (thirteen years ago) link
key passage:
And while it is not clear exactly what message M.I.A. is trying to get across, Pasulka said it is obvious she is trying to provoke thought among viewers."If you look at M.I.A.'s life, there is a history of political activism," Pasulka said. "She's the daughter of a revolutionary who fought for an independent state in Sri Lanka, so she is obviously trying to make a political statement."
― by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 02:51 (thirteen years ago) link
"...Continued Pasulka, 'We just don't know what about.'"
Can we quit acting all surprised that an artist would make a vague and unreadable political statement?
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 02:53 (thirteen years ago) link
can we quit acting like it is acceptable for an artist to make a vague and unreadable political statement
― stars on ?boardid=45 (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 05:57 (thirteen years ago) link
why should we?
― board free (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:06 (thirteen years ago) link
i love that Green Day can makes two critically acclaimed albums of vague political statements but everyone's up M.I.A.'s ass
― board free (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:07 (thirteen years ago) link
i think a lot of people were up green day's ass, unless you discount, like, rolling stone & spin
― ibaka flocka flame (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:09 (thirteen years ago) link
like, the whole of this message board, for instance
― ibaka flocka flame (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:10 (thirteen years ago) link
Green Day never tweeted something like:
P4KTWITTERTAKEOVA M.I.A AYAMMAYA CONNECTED TO THE GOOGLE CONNECTED TO THE GOVERNMENT _IVVVVI____SIGNIN OFF http://twitpic.com/1iqlnk #miap4k
iirc
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:13 (thirteen years ago) link
R MY C/LOK KEYS REALLY REALLY REALLLLLLLLLLY OFFENDING U OK ILL TAKE THEM OFF ▖ ▗ ▘ ▙ ▚ ▛ ▜ ▝ ▞ ▟ ▀▖ ▗ ▘ ▙ ▚ ▛ ▜ ▝ ▞ ▟ ▀▁ ▂ ▃ ▆ ▇ █ #miap4k
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:14 (thirteen years ago) link
god it's 2:15 AM why am i awake
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:15 (thirteen years ago) link
i don't see the connection, but in the defense of the twitter thing, like, her publicist obv pretty much forced her to tweet all day from pitchfork's twitter, so i think we can ease up on the "omg mia is being so retarded!" aspect of that whole stunt
― ibaka flocka flame (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:16 (thirteen years ago) link
not sure what i would've done in the same situation, is what i'm saying -- probably tweeted in oj da juiceman patois
chewbacca flocka flame
― board free (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:18 (thirteen years ago) link
i don't see the connection
there was none, i'm just exhausted and should've been in bed two hours ago
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:18 (thirteen years ago) link
i have no idea what i would've done if i had the reigns of their twitter -- link to some good metal, maybe?
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:19 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah, seriously.
telling people abut bands you like instead of just shouting fucking gibberish in all caps would be an awesome start
― board free (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:22 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah. or books! or painters! or something!
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:33 (thirteen years ago) link
websites! videos! an infinite list of stuff
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:34 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah, you know I love green day more than M.I.A.!!!!!!!
― stars on ?boardid=45 (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:42 (thirteen years ago) link
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, April 27, 2010 9:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark
i was more just amused by the hapless tone of that article and the quotes from the "music video expert" within it.
― by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 08:17 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/international/sniper_kills_qaeda_from_mi_away_sTm0xFUmJNal3HgWlmEgRL
― rent, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 12:53 (thirteen years ago) link
omg @ first line
― Fetchboy, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:02 (thirteen years ago) link
comments on that story are :/
― peacocks, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:05 (thirteen years ago) link
but yes, the first line is amazing.
― peacocks, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:06 (thirteen years ago) link
http://techcrunch.com/2010/04/11/dear-authors-your-next-book-should-be-an-app-not-an-ibook/
― nitzer Ed (s1ocki), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:15 (thirteen years ago) link
dear cody brown: stfu
― max, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:40 (thirteen years ago) link
ahahaha that is bringing the serious lols
What do you think would have happened if George Orwell had the iPad? Do you think he would have written for print then copy and pasted his story into the iBookstore? If this didn’t work out well, do you think he would have complained that there aren’t any serious-readers anymore? No. He would have looked at the medium, then blown our minds....Why not make it like a game so that in order to get to the next ‘chapter’ you need to pass a test? Does the content of the book even need to be created entirely by me? Can I leave some parts of it open to edit by those who buy it and read it? Do I need to charge $9.99, or can I charge $99.99?...I’m 21
...
Why not make it like a game so that in order to get to the next ‘chapter’ you need to pass a test? Does the content of the book even need to be created entirely by me? Can I leave some parts of it open to edit by those who buy it and read it? Do I need to charge $9.99, or can I charge $99.99?
I’m 21
― going non-native (dyao), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:53 (thirteen years ago) link
He would have looked at the medium, then blown our minds.
i mean, just looked at it.
― by another name (amateurist), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 14:04 (thirteen years ago) link
I mean I don't necessarily disagree with him and look forward to the creation of new mediums for art & expression but are you really gonna big up GEORGE ORWELL as some sort of misunderstood literary anarchist who just didn't have the proper tools to express himself with at the time
― going non-native (dyao), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 14:07 (thirteen years ago) link
if only John Betjeman had had the chance to write interactive e-poems with jaunty animated buttons, popup quizzes and livejournal-synced polls
― xylyl syzygy (a passing spacecadet), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 14:12 (thirteen years ago) link
imagine if james joyce has had access to the internet
― scrappy dyaoo (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 14:29 (thirteen years ago) link
if only george orwell had the means to charge $99.99 for his books :(
― nitzer Ed (s1ocki), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 16:07 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.press-citizen.com/article/20100505/NEWS01/5050323/1079
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 5 May 2010 19:29 (thirteen years ago) link
He would have looked at the medium, then blown our minds.i mean, just looked at it.
http://whenitstrikesme.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/recognize-miracles.gif
― Adam Bruneau, Wednesday, 5 May 2010 20:05 (thirteen years ago) link
Records also show that Poulson was cited for assault in 2007 for throwing a dead cat through a McDonald's drive-through window in Cedar Rapids in late 2006.
― Fetchboy, Thursday, 6 May 2010 07:56 (thirteen years ago) link
okay that is funny
― it means "EMOTIONAL"! (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 May 2010 14:44 (thirteen years ago) link
orwell probably just woulda been an awesome blogger
― iatee, Thursday, 6 May 2010 14:56 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/special/opinions/outlook/spring-cleaning/internet-memes.html
(Please note the identity of the author at the end of the article.)
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 May 2010 21:30 (thirteen years ago) link
http://i41.tinypic.com/29djktx.png
― abanana, Saturday, 8 May 2010 10:55 (thirteen years ago) link
The fuck.
― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 9 May 2010 03:06 (thirteen years ago) link
quiddities and agonies etc
― Did you in fact lift my luggage (dyao), Sunday, 9 May 2010 03:30 (thirteen years ago) link
That would be my favorite Onion article ever, if it indeed was one. Instead I'm just sitting here shaking my head and quietly weeping.
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Sunday, 9 May 2010 03:50 (thirteen years ago) link
http://events.nytimes.com/2010/05/12/dining/reviews/12rest.html
No reservations are taken, so unless you eat in daylight or draw good luck, there’s going to be a wait for a table, time spent standing at a bar that was crowded when you arrived and will be when you leave. Also, as the waiters will tell you when you do get a seat, the food comes out when the kitchen prepares it, according to the kitchen’s own needs and schedule, which means there is no real structure to the meals.
― (latebloomer) (latebloomer), Thursday, 13 May 2010 02:21 (thirteen years ago) link
just now on google news:
"Why My Skinny Jeans Don't Give You the Right to Rape Me "
― call all destroyer, Thursday, 13 May 2010 17:43 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.boingboing.net/2010/05/13/bootsy-collins-launc.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+boingboing/iBag+(Boing+Boing)
Because a groove is a terrible thing to waste, this sonic learning institution will be unlike anything before, as Professor Collins and the finest bassists in music will unleash an intense curriculum, on the web, for intermediate to advanced funk disciples within the program.
― NUDE. MAYNE. (s1ocki), Friday, 14 May 2010 15:24 (thirteen years ago) link
i mean that's like a whisker away from http://www.theonion.com/articles/national-funk-congress-deadlocked-on-get-upget-dow,625/ and http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinton-threatens-to-drop-da-bomb-on-iraq,787/
― NUDE. MAYNE. (s1ocki), Friday, 14 May 2010 15:25 (thirteen years ago) link
Supernova is rich in calcium.
So drink some every day.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 20 May 2010 04:36 (thirteen years ago) link
Gillard takes the biscuit
Julia Gillard is the deputy prime minister of Australia, Joe Hockey is shadow minister for finance and quite a stout man.
― badg, Friday, 4 June 2010 01:47 (thirteen years ago) link
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs528.snc3/30000_400721622063_654272063_4912593_6593195_n.jpg
― surfer blood for oil (Hurting 2), Thursday, 1 July 2010 19:55 (thirteen years ago) link
Hahahah
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:00 (thirteen years ago) link
i just... i just...
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:01 (thirteen years ago) link
hahhahahahahahah
― _▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:10 (thirteen years ago) link
Oh shit :0
― kkvgz, Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:18 (thirteen years ago) link
http://filipspagnoli.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/save-darfur.pnghttp://www.geekstir.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/trexcontinent.jpg
― _▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:40 (thirteen years ago) link
Hey don't laugh at other countries! Thats so typical of us North Africans.
― Evan, Thursday, 1 July 2010 21:19 (thirteen years ago) link
North America, er, Africa, looks kind of like a velociraptor as it is.
― surfer blood for oil (Hurting 2), Thursday, 1 July 2010 21:31 (thirteen years ago) link
I always thought North America looks like a Harpy Eagle with South America in its talons
― Jarlrmai, Thursday, 1 July 2010 22:15 (thirteen years ago) link
it kind of is iirc
― pass le corbusier (s1ocki), Saturday, 3 July 2010 17:20 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.connecttristates.com/news/story.aspx?id=491087
Giving people a ride for free is illegal.
― StanM, Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:22 (thirteen years ago) link
Ass, gas, or grass
― no gut busting joke can change history (polyphonic), Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:26 (thirteen years ago) link
haha wait
― Mayor Hickenlooper and the liberal agenda (HI DERE), Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:29 (thirteen years ago) link
Holy. Fucking. Shit. They should give that guy some kind of civic medal, not lock him up.
― Chicago to Philadelphia: "Suck It" (Bill Magill), Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:30 (thirteen years ago) link
SISSI said: Yesterday at 10:49 PMOOOH I FEEL ALOT SAFER NOW THAT HE IS OFF THE STREETS...WHEN ARE THE QUINCY POLICE OFFICERS GOING TO QUIT ACTING LIKE MALL COPS AND START CATCHING REAL CRIMINALS...THIS MAN IS ONLY TRYING TO KEEP DRUNK DRIVERS OFF THE ROAD..MAYBE IF THE TAXICABS WOULD RUN AT THE TIME THEY ARE NEEDED THIS WOULDNT BE A PROBLEM...I'M JUST SAYING...
SISSI OTMFM
― Specify music my dick hair (Phil D.), Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:31 (thirteen years ago) link
Putin fires darts at gray whale from crossbow
what the fuck
― dayo, Thursday, 26 August 2010 00:17 (thirteen years ago) link
Sergei34 31 minutes ago Report AbuseGreatest leader in History. No gay parades No Outsourcing jobs no Illegals just Slavic Power. Christianity in all schools. An invincible military No1 in Oil Gas and 3 in wheat except this yr just temporary. A 14 percent tax on all incomes not 40 like the West Slava Russia
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 26 August 2010 01:02 (thirteen years ago) link
When the boat skidded onto the beach, a buoyant Putin hopped off and made a beeline for waiting reporters. Clearly in his element, Putin replied jovially to a question as to whether the endeavor was dangerous.
"Living in general is dangerous," he quipped.
― casual rigmarole, Thursday, 26 August 2010 19:38 (thirteen years ago) link
putin kind of otm there
― Cunga, Thursday, 26 August 2010 19:41 (thirteen years ago) link
Oh this is tacky.
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/pawprintpost/post/2010/09/dog-dies-in-hot-car-while-owner-tours-holocaust-museum/1
― blood and organs, cruelty and decay (kenan), Saturday, 4 September 2010 16:20 (thirteen years ago) link
No1 in Oil Gas and 3 in wheat except this yr just temporary.
― dy (max) ia (crüt), Saturday, 4 September 2010 16:27 (thirteen years ago) link
Pope's astronomer says he would baptise an alien
― (+) (+ +), Friday, 17 September 2010 15:43 (thirteen years ago) link
An alien – 'no matter how many tentacles it has' – could have a soul, says pope's astronomer
― I will always think of you, while (quite) fondly, myself (Evan), Friday, 17 September 2010 16:25 (thirteen years ago) link
This sounded like one of their op-ed pieces:
http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/6154/scaledphptn0server842fi.jpg
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 17 September 2010 16:31 (thirteen years ago) link
If only the owner had heeded the warning of the Scottish indie band.
― jaymc, Friday, 17 September 2010 16:32 (thirteen years ago) link
lol, the Waters headline just needs to be read in a slightly different inflection to be hilarious
― Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 September 2010 16:33 (thirteen years ago) link
Again, I'm doing the what now?
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 17 September 2010 16:39 (thirteen years ago) link
the Waters one reminds me of this:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-know-i-used-to-be-kind-of-cool-once,10932/
― Darin, Friday, 17 September 2010 18:21 (thirteen years ago) link
I remember reading something about the origins of the Police that vaguely suggested that they were making a very deliberate and cynical attempt to capitalize on the punk trend but using their superior musicianship, or something.
― Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 September 2010 18:26 (thirteen years ago) link
I mean whatever, those records are good.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-11416654
I'm not sure that an Onion article is the right comparison, but... yeah.
― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Monday, 27 September 2010 12:48 (thirteen years ago) link
Oh lord, just came to post that.
RIP
― rammer jammer jan hammer (Hurting 2), Monday, 27 September 2010 13:35 (thirteen years ago) link
If only that dead dog had been a German shepherd
xxxxxxxxpost
― Myonga Vön Bontee, Monday, 27 September 2010 15:00 (thirteen years ago) link
Saw this had been revived and new it had to be the Segway dude.
― master of retardment (ENBB), Monday, 27 September 2010 15:40 (thirteen years ago) link
headlines wishin they were Onion headlines: Swanky new Vegas hotel’s ‘death ray’ proves inconvenient for some guests
― she's one intense bitch, she rides a unicycle (arby's), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 23:58 (thirteen years ago) link
RIM Needs More Fart Apps, Not FewerAll Things Digital - 7 hours ago
― adamirl (Hurting 2), Thursday, 30 September 2010 17:46 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/30/us/30drug.html
Shortage of Widely Used Anesthetics Is Delaying Executions
― zvookster, Friday, 1 October 2010 01:40 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00684/segway-anti-terror_684090n.jpg
― zvookster, Friday, 1 October 2010 01:43 (thirteen years ago) link
huge LOL
― Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile (dayo), Friday, 1 October 2010 01:46 (thirteen years ago) link
Not partic Onion-y, but the newspaper somebody was reading a seat up from me on the bus last night had a headline "Wyden voted for stimulus, not ants". I was chucklin at that fr some reason.
― bear, bear, bear, Friday, 1 October 2010 01:49 (thirteen years ago) link
As prompted by buzza on the Los Angeles thread just now:
http://www.thisisbrandx.com/2010/10/five-things-la-could-learn-from-london.html
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 20 October 2010 22:51 (thirteen years ago) link
I once got a sneaky blow job in London.Posted by: Pussyman | October 19, 2010 at 07:50 PM
Posted by: Pussyman | October 19, 2010 at 07:50 PM
― shart for shart's sake (unregistered), Wednesday, 20 October 2010 22:55 (thirteen years ago) link
Plus, even the American chains are better in Europe. H&M for instance.
― if, Thursday, 21 October 2010 00:25 (thirteen years ago) link
It must be true.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 21 October 2010 01:49 (thirteen years ago) link
Now we know what to put on the fourth plinth: a giant marble Pret sandwich. Hell, let's replace Nelson with a big old hoisin duck wrap.
― A brownish area with points (chap), Thursday, 21 October 2010 02:59 (thirteen years ago) link
NBC Develops Winery-Set Supernatural Soap
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 November 2010 14:19 (thirteen years ago) link
Porpoises rescue Dick Van Dyke
― Volvo Twilight (p-dog), Thursday, 11 November 2010 12:42 (thirteen years ago) link
EU officials envy quality of US diplomatic cables
― peter in montreal, Friday, 3 December 2010 17:58 (thirteen years ago) link
Some Egyptian officials blame the Mossad for the deadly shark attacks in Sharm El-Sheik last week:
http://english.ahram.org.eg/NewsContent/1/64/1343/Egypt/Politics-/Experts-shoot-down-theory-that-Israel-is-behind-sh.aspx
― StanM, Tuesday, 7 December 2010 09:24 (thirteen years ago) link
the new york times
― jeevves, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 10:11 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2010/07/digital-drugs/
― Rejoice that you weren't eaten (chap), Saturday, 15 January 2011 14:22 (thirteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZcgUEkBIX0&feature=player_embedded#!
You can apparently get your digital fix here.
― I can't wait to understand these arguments! (R Baez), Saturday, 15 January 2011 14:54 (thirteen years ago) link
H.R. 2: Repealing the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act
― another al3x, Saturday, 15 January 2011 16:20 (thirteen years ago) link
Still love this guy
― hey boys, suppers on me, our video just went bacterial (Hurting 2), Saturday, 15 January 2011 19:00 (thirteen years ago) link
Officials fear bath salts are growing drug problem
― Alba, Monday, 24 January 2011 07:11 (thirteen years ago) link
Vice President Biden called for jury duty in Del.
(AP) – 1 hour ago
WILMINGTON, Del. (AP) — Joe Biden may be the nation's vice president, but that doesn't mean he can avoid fulfilling his civic duty.
Aides say Biden reported Monday morning for jury duty along with 100 others at the New Castle County courthouse in Delaware after receiving a jury summons.
"I don't consider myself different than any other person," Biden told The News Journal of Wilmington, Del. "This is important ... It is an honor to be a part of the system."
Biden and several Secret Service agents waited with other prospective jurors in the jury assembly room. During a break, staffers and security poured in from a side door to consult with the vice president. Biden said he had to make several calls on a secure telephone during the break, including one to President Barack Obama.
There was no word yet on whether Biden will be chosen to participate in a trial.
― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 24 January 2011 17:08 (thirteen years ago) link
"Where you from, honey? Elsmere? Oh yeah, I know a great place over there that serves the best wings… Oh, hold on."
*cups the receiver*
"It's the President…"
*Screensaver appears on display*
― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 24 January 2011 17:11 (thirteen years ago) link
Jodi Bieber won the World Press Photo award for her picture of a Middle Eastern woman who was disfigured by the Taliban.
Headlines, mostly in Belgium and Holland, apparently, where they're only just discovering such childish click-attracting misleading tabloid tactics:
Bieber Wins World Press Photo
― StanM, Friday, 11 February 2011 15:32 (thirteen years ago) link
wrong thread!
SEO hall of fame
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Friday, 11 February 2011 15:35 (thirteen years ago) link
ahok, sorry
― StanM, Friday, 11 February 2011 15:36 (thirteen years ago) link
Okay it's been 15 minutes and I still haven't stopped laughing at this
― frogbs, Friday, 11 February 2011 15:50 (thirteen years ago) link
Whoopee time is good, but the whoopee time is better.
― Evan, Friday, 11 February 2011 16:09 (thirteen years ago) link
is it like the cushion?
― StanM, Friday, 11 February 2011 16:12 (thirteen years ago) link
Depends how much flab has been lost.
― Inevitable stupid dubstep mix (chap), Friday, 11 February 2011 16:13 (thirteen years ago) link
It's funnier if you actually picture somebody saying it. The whole thing just reminds me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv9qs5WVHS8
― frogbs, Friday, 11 February 2011 17:29 (thirteen years ago) link
"We had the whoopee time" is impossible to imagine without some think foreign accent for me.
― Evan, Friday, 11 February 2011 23:42 (thirteen years ago) link
thick*
― Evan, Friday, 11 February 2011 23:56 (thirteen years ago) link
I think ilx needs a thread about that article alone; it's terrible on so many levels and yet perfect in its own way.
― frogbs, Monday, 14 February 2011 15:25 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2011/02/13/JP-SEARCH-2.html
http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2011/02/13/JP-SEARCH-2.html"Google’s spam cop, Matt Cutts, was not pleased about a campaign to make JCPenney.com seem more popular."
― hey boys, suppers on me, our video just went bacterial (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 16 February 2011 21:44 (thirteen years ago) link
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2011/02/13/business/JP-SEARCH-2/JP-SEARCH-2-popup.jpg
"TSA was considering collecting DNA samples via Q-tip swab from the mouths of prospective airplane passengers. Steve Doocy pointed out how easy it would be to fake, saying 'all you gotta do is put someone else’s DNA in your mouth.'"
Will link a video when one shows up.
― Wacky Way Lounge (Evan), Tuesday, 8 March 2011 04:48 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/03/110307130215.htm
― adamj, Thursday, 10 March 2011 00:31 (thirteen years ago) link
Holy shit! Oh man thats great.
― Wacky Way Lounge (Evan), Thursday, 10 March 2011 02:16 (thirteen years ago) link
this was posted on I Love Vinyl but deserves a wider audience imho: http://www.bostonherald.com/entertainment/arts_culture/view/20110322young_people_with_old_souls_prefer_records_to_cds/srvc=home&position=recent
"her delicate hand on diamond-tipped stylus"
― I only use this style of type when I choose it (DJ Mencap), Friday, 25 March 2011 16:53 (thirteen years ago) link
― VegemiteGrrl, Friday, 25 March 2011 16:58 (thirteen years ago) link
Between this and today's best piece of "rock criticism"
happy dadrock day, y'all.
― i have a hot bagel waiting for me in my bed so ill say this: (kkvgz), Friday, 25 March 2011 17:00 (thirteen years ago) link
lolling over these from that Herald article
She has a job, college plans, but also a peculiar passion for a 16-year-old: She’s a vinyl junkie.That’s right, analog
...her delicate hand on diamond-tipped stylus to spin from the dusty stash of records she found in the basement of her grandfather — yes, grandfather
"SAY WHAAA-?" (spits out coffee)
― VegemiteGrrl, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:04 (thirteen years ago) link
that's right, analog. and yes -- grandfather.
― omar little, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:05 (thirteen years ago) link
lmbo
xpost
analog? SERIOUSLY?her grandfather? YOU DON'T SAY
― VegemiteGrrl, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:05 (thirteen years ago) link
(exaggerated record scratch)
― frogbs, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:06 (thirteen years ago) link
has the same tone as an NPR story, all wide eyed about what 'the kids' are doing these days
― VegemiteGrrl, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:06 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.parade.com/news/backpage-OLD/mitch-albom/100418-take-in-a-real-game.html
Mitch Albom wrote an awful column on the "evil of fantasy baseball" that's way worse -
Spring is here, and throughout the land, baseball fans don their caps and root, root, root in the glowing warmth of......their computers?
...their computers?
Cliche...cliche...whaaaa?? **record scratch**
It's as if you took the best lines from Shakespeare and formed your own play. Or took rock's best guitar solos and strung them into "your" song. Fantasy baseball uses the talents but loses the stage. And in so doing, it loses much more.
The whole article is based on the completely ridiculous premise that fantasy players use it as a substitute for real baseball, which is something that absolutely no one does.
"Maybe people do it to feel like they're in charge of a real team. But it's nothing like a real team, believe me. A real team has personal problems, injuries, the long grind of the season. You plug in fantasy players, it's like robots. You're missing the human pulse."
The human pulse. Exactly. If you program a computer correctly, it can play an entire fantasy season without you. Try winning a real game without a human being on the mound.
You can practically see the smirk on his face right now!! "Yeah! You try winning a real game with a bunch of...of...robots!!"
I worry for this growing fantasy-sports world, not for what its followers are experiencing, but for what they're not. If you're so busy computing stats, you miss the real-life drama, you miss the physical artistry, you miss the electricity of a stadium and the unity of your neighbors cheering alongside you. Remember, no one does the wave alone in his basement.
Even if his premise was plausable at all, are we to accept the reason why you need to break out of your robot filled fantasy world is the wave"???
Baseball minus such things is just math. And let's be honest. Wasn't math class when we snuck the earphone from the transistor radio and enjoyed our original fantasies about the game?
*head explodes*
― frogbs, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:27 (thirteen years ago) link
xpost I'm irrationally annoyed by Americans referring to vinyl records as "vinyls".
― Pop is superior to all other genres (DL), Friday, 25 March 2011 17:56 (thirteen years ago) link
That's right, "vinyls".
― Pop is superior to all other genres (DL), Friday, 25 March 2011 17:57 (thirteen years ago) link
didn't realise this was a US thing, if it is, but yeah fucking stop it
(loosely related: someone tried to clown me a couple of days ago for saying that 'records', as in, say, "I have a big record collection" or "I can't wait for the new Linkin Park record to come out" could legitimately be used to refer to music releases in general, not just vinyl, as he asserted. Am I dumb and/or weird for using it this way for the last 15 years or so?)
― I only use this style of type when I choose it (DJ Mencap), Friday, 25 March 2011 18:14 (thirteen years ago) link
it should be ok. we say "album" still and you can't really say "CDs" anymore so it should be fine
― frogbs, Friday, 25 March 2011 18:17 (thirteen years ago) link
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/38/20110324/tod-man-goes-on-shooting-spree-over-burr-045b8e8.html
― Bryan, Friday, 25 March 2011 18:55 (thirteen years ago) link
http://www.newburyportnews.com/lifestyle/x1527122058/Port-teen-joins-Aspergers-comedy-troupe
― goole, Friday, 25 March 2011 20:28 (thirteen years ago) link
omg
― I'm totally kidding. Congrats strangers. (Matt P), Friday, 25 March 2011 22:30 (thirteen years ago) link
This is not what a feminist looks like. Feminists are not shirts.
― administratieve blunder (unregistered), Friday, 25 March 2011 23:14 (thirteen years ago) link
"New Michael"
― buzza, Friday, 25 March 2011 23:16 (thirteen years ago) link
Trump Sends Investigators to Hawaii, Gains in GOP Presidential Primary Poll
― Oink Administrator (gr8080), Friday, 8 April 2011 06:20 (twelve years ago) link
baaaaaaaaaaaaarf
http://www.gilroydispatch.com/printer/article.asp?c=196690
Dr. Laura says people should not have sex before they marry. The reason for this is that sex is the number one cause of pregnancy, and pregnancy is the number one cause of babies.
― frogbs, Wednesday, 13 April 2011 13:15 (twelve years ago) link
I ran the boards for the Dr. Laura Show for my local station for three years and I still hate the Pointer Sisters.
― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 13 April 2011 13:49 (twelve years ago) link
Joe Queenan on the Frank Gehry Glut
― conrad, Tuesday, 26 April 2011 15:46 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/20/us/20rapture.html?_r=2&hp
― hated old moniker, too tired to think of a clever new one (Hurting 2), Friday, 20 May 2011 14:55 (twelve years ago) link
The three teenagers have been struggling to make sense of their shifting world, which started changing nearly two years ago when their mother, Abby Haddad Carson, left her job as a nurse to “sound the trumpet” on mission trips with her husband, Robert, handing out tracts. They stopped working on their house and saving for college.Last weekend, the family traveled to New York, the parents dragging their reluctant children through a Manhattan street fair in a final effort to spread the word.“My mom has told me directly that I’m not going to get into heaven,” Grace Haddad, 16, said. “At first it was really upsetting, but it’s what she honestly believes.”
Last weekend, the family traveled to New York, the parents dragging their reluctant children through a Manhattan street fair in a final effort to spread the word.
“My mom has told me directly that I’m not going to get into heaven,” Grace Haddad, 16, said. “At first it was really upsetting, but it’s what she honestly believes.”
this just depresses me
― peter in montreal, Friday, 20 May 2011 15:12 (twelve years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/p4CFW.png
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Friday, 20 May 2011 17:51 (twelve years ago) link
dammit
http://i55.tinypic.com/dac0m.jpg
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Friday, 20 May 2011 17:57 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.indystar.com/article/20110603/NEWS02/110603006/Man-calls-police-after-kitten-bites-him
― StanM, Friday, 3 June 2011 20:16 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/07/03/us-athletics-diamond-idUSTRE6622I420100703
― some dude, Thursday, 9 June 2011 20:36 (twelve years ago) link
http://onionlike.tumblr.com/
― kinder, Saturday, 11 June 2011 02:34 (twelve years ago) link
There's a fine line happening here.
http://www.scottdizzle.com/uploads2/01091907best-of-jay-leno.gif
― Pleasant Plains, Saturday, 11 June 2011 03:40 (twelve years ago) link
http://madisonrecord.com/news/contentview.asp?c=148217
― british sb power (dayo), Saturday, 11 June 2011 07:30 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.voanews.com/english/news/middle-east/israel-and-palestinians/Israel-Approves-Jerusalem-Museum-Project-Despite-Muslim-Objections-125499758.html
I mean, the museum people may be right in the end that gravesites aren't normally given any special respect by muslim builders, but still -- Israel to build tolerance museum on muslim gravesite -- seems to fit this thread.
― didn't even have to use my akai (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 19 July 2011 18:59 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.insurancejournal.com/news/west/2011/07/19/206814.htm
― Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 19 July 2011 19:20 (twelve years ago) link
“He slipped because it was slippery,” said a sobbing Hick.
http://www.tokeofthetown.com/2011/07/reformed_nazi_twin_singers_renounce_racism_credit.php
― ( •ิ.•ั) (gr8080), Monday, 1 August 2011 06:04 (twelve years ago) link
Boys believe discussing problems is a waste of time and weird, says study
― Trip Maker, Tuesday, 23 August 2011 17:22 (twelve years ago) link
Rebel Discovers Qaddafi Passport, Real Spelling of Leader's Name
― Alba, Thursday, 25 August 2011 07:38 (twelve years ago) link
love that the image for that article is this:
http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/international/assets_c/2011/08/qaddafi%20passport%20p-thumb-600x300-61429.jpg
― peter in montreal, Thursday, 25 August 2011 15:14 (twelve years ago) link
They even mention how similar this is to a specific Onion article inside.
Al Qaeda slams Iran for peddling 9/11 conspiracy theories
― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 29 September 2011 16:28 (twelve years ago) link
"The Iranian government has professed on the tongue of its president Ahmadinejad that it does not believe that al Qaeda was behind 9/11 but rather, the U.S. government," an article in Inspire's latest issue argued, according to ABC News' Lee Ferrin. "So we may ask the question: why would Iran ascribe to such a ridiculous belief that stands in the face of all logic and evidence?"
On cnn.com right now:
http://oi43.tinypic.com/v82dfr.jpg
― sktsh, Wednesday, 16 November 2011 18:57 (twelve years ago) link
loll
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 16 November 2011 19:13 (twelve years ago) link
Ha there was something that rolled by the CNN news ticker this morning that said something like "COMMUNISM MORE POPULAR THAN CONGRESS AMONG US PUBLIC"
― ⚓ (gr8080), Wednesday, 16 November 2011 19:54 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.businessinsider.com/time-to-admit-it-the-church-has-always-been-right-on-birth-control-2012-2?utm_source=twbutton&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=politics
― ⚓ (gr8080), Wednesday, 8 February 2012 22:21 (twelve years ago) link
Michael Brendan Dougherty Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry
― buzza, Wednesday, 8 February 2012 22:23 (twelve years ago) link
http://static7.businessinsider.com/image/4edfdcba6bb3f7c75a000002-195/michael-brendan-dougherty.jpg
Before joining Business Insider, Michael Brendan Dougherty was Associate Editor of The American Conservative.
― buzza, Wednesday, 8 February 2012 22:27 (twelve years ago) link
great headline
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2098652/Shop-fitter-died-falling-giant-bucket-mayonnaise-stabbing-heart-electric-drill.html
― ⚓ (gr8080), Friday, 10 February 2012 23:09 (twelve years ago) link
I xposted that to SEO hall of fame
― http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY (dayo), Friday, 10 February 2012 23:14 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.gizmowatch.com/entry/sun-will-finally-shine-in-viganella-during-winter/
― Evan, Thursday, 23 February 2012 00:33 (twelve years ago) link
If they hate it so much, why build the town there. It's like building a town at the bottom of a lake and complaining about the lack of oxygen.
― Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Thursday, 23 February 2012 01:07 (twelve years ago) link
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/03/sc_county_gop_if_youve_had_pre-marital_sex_you_can.php?ref=fpb
Before you can join the Laurens County Republican Party in South Carolina and get on the primary ballot, they ask that you pledge that you’ve never ever had pre-marital sex — and that you will never ever look at porn again.Last Tuesday, the LCGOP unanimously adopted a resolution that would ask all candidates who want to get on the primary ballot to sign a pledge with 28 principles, because the party “does not want to associate with candidates who do not act and speak in a manner that is consistent with the SC Republican Party Platform.”Among the principles, according to Vic MacDonald & Larry Franklin of the Clinton Chronicle, is standard fare like opposition to abortion and upholding gun rights, as well as “a compassionate and moral approach to Teen Pregnancy” and “a high regard for United States Sovereignty.”But then they get even more specific. From the Chronicle:You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.It is unclear how they will precisely determine this (or regulate it), but an unidentified potential candidate for office in Laurens County told the Chronicle that candidates will be interviewed by a three-person subcommittee, who will then recommend to the full executive committee whether to allow the candidate on the ballot.
Last Tuesday, the LCGOP unanimously adopted a resolution that would ask all candidates who want to get on the primary ballot to sign a pledge with 28 principles, because the party “does not want to associate with candidates who do not act and speak in a manner that is consistent with the SC Republican Party Platform.”
Among the principles, according to Vic MacDonald & Larry Franklin of the Clinton Chronicle, is standard fare like opposition to abortion and upholding gun rights, as well as “a compassionate and moral approach to Teen Pregnancy” and “a high regard for United States Sovereignty.”
But then they get even more specific. From the Chronicle:
You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.
You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.
It is unclear how they will precisely determine this (or regulate it), but an unidentified potential candidate for office in Laurens County told the Chronicle that candidates will be interviewed by a three-person subcommittee, who will then recommend to the full executive committee whether to allow the candidate on the ballot.
― Flagpost Sitta (Phil D.), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 11:39 (twelve years ago) link
THE EATBEAT: Long-awaited Olive Garden receives warm welcome
After a lengthy wait for Olive Garden to open in Grand Forks, the lines were long in February. The novelty is slowly wearing off, but the steady following attests the warm welcome.My first visit to Olive Garden was during midafternoon, so I could be sure to get in. After a late breakfast, I figured a late lunch would be fashionable.The place is impressive. It’s fashioned in Tuscan farmhouse style with a welcoming entryway. There is seating for those who are waiting.My booth was near the kitchen, and I watched the waiters in white shirts, ties, black trousers and aprons adorned with gold-colored towels. They were busy at midday, punching in orders and carrying out bread and pasta.It had been a few years since I ate at the older Olive Garden in Fargo, so I studied the two manageable menus offering appetizers, soups and salads, grilled sandwiches, pizza, classic dishes, chicken and seafood and filled pastas.At length, I asked my server what she would recommend. She suggested chicken Alfredo, and I went with that. Instead of the raspberry lemonade she suggested, I drank water.She first brought me the familiar Olive Garden salad bowl with crisp greens, peppers, onion rings and yes — several black olives. Along with it came a plate with two long, warm breadsticks.The chicken Alfredo ($10.95) was warm and comforting on a cold day. The portion was generous. My server was ready with Parmesan cheese.As I ate, I noticed the vases and planters with permanent flower displays on the ledges. There are several dining areas with arched doorways. And there is a fireplace that adds warmth to the decor.Olive Garden has an attractive bar area to the right of the entryway. The restaurant has a full liquor license and a wine list offering a wide selection to complement Italian meals. Nonalcoholic beverages include coolers, specialty coffees and hot teas.On a hot summer day, I will try the raspberry lemonade that was recommended.There’s a homemade soup, salad and breadstick lunch available until 4 p.m. daily for $6.95.An olive branch on menu items signified low-fat entrees. There is a Garden Fare Nutrition Guide available for customers seeking gluten-free food. And for those with food allergies, Olive Garden has an Allergen Information Guide.All in all, it is the largest and most beautiful restaurant now operating in Grand Forks. It attracts visitors from out of town as well as people who live here.Olive Garden is part of the Darden chain of restaurants that also operates Red Lobster. There are about 700 restaurants, including four Olive Gardens in North Dakota’s major cities.Olive Garden has gained a following since 1982 with its ample portions and relaxed ambience. It’s known for its classic lasagna, fettuccine Alfredo and chicken Parmigiana.
My first visit to Olive Garden was during midafternoon, so I could be sure to get in. After a late breakfast, I figured a late lunch would be fashionable.
The place is impressive. It’s fashioned in Tuscan farmhouse style with a welcoming entryway. There is seating for those who are waiting.
My booth was near the kitchen, and I watched the waiters in white shirts, ties, black trousers and aprons adorned with gold-colored towels. They were busy at midday, punching in orders and carrying out bread and pasta.
It had been a few years since I ate at the older Olive Garden in Fargo, so I studied the two manageable menus offering appetizers, soups and salads, grilled sandwiches, pizza, classic dishes, chicken and seafood and filled pastas.
At length, I asked my server what she would recommend. She suggested chicken Alfredo, and I went with that. Instead of the raspberry lemonade she suggested, I drank water.
She first brought me the familiar Olive Garden salad bowl with crisp greens, peppers, onion rings and yes — several black olives. Along with it came a plate with two long, warm breadsticks.
The chicken Alfredo ($10.95) was warm and comforting on a cold day. The portion was generous. My server was ready with Parmesan cheese.
As I ate, I noticed the vases and planters with permanent flower displays on the ledges. There are several dining areas with arched doorways. And there is a fireplace that adds warmth to the decor.
Olive Garden has an attractive bar area to the right of the entryway. The restaurant has a full liquor license and a wine list offering a wide selection to complement Italian meals. Nonalcoholic beverages include coolers, specialty coffees and hot teas.
On a hot summer day, I will try the raspberry lemonade that was recommended.
There’s a homemade soup, salad and breadstick lunch available until 4 p.m. daily for $6.95.
An olive branch on menu items signified low-fat entrees. There is a Garden Fare Nutrition Guide available for customers seeking gluten-free food. And for those with food allergies, Olive Garden has an Allergen Information Guide.
All in all, it is the largest and most beautiful restaurant now operating in Grand Forks. It attracts visitors from out of town as well as people who live here.
Olive Garden is part of the Darden chain of restaurants that also operates Red Lobster. There are about 700 restaurants, including four Olive Gardens in North Dakota’s major cities.
Olive Garden has gained a following since 1982 with its ample portions and relaxed ambience. It’s known for its classic lasagna, fettuccine Alfredo and chicken Parmigiana.
― the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:37 (twelve years ago) link
At length, I asked my server what she would recommend.
oh to be a fly on the wall
― brownie, Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:43 (twelve years ago) link
xpost: I don't get it?
― StanM, Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:45 (twelve years ago) link
I like that either definition (after a long pause / over a long period of time) suggests he is possibly an asshole / savouring the plum assignment of his career, the one he'll tell the grandkids about.
xpost I think it's the in depth and lingering discussion of a generic chain restaurant, but then I am not an American.
― Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:47 (twelve years ago) link
oh, I didn't know what Olive Garden was - didn't seem to get that vibe from the site either, but ok :-)
― StanM, Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:55 (twelve years ago) link
EAT STREET / THE KING OF THE EAT
― lou reed scott walker monks niagra (chinavision!), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:09 (twelve years ago) link
aahhh EAT BEAT, mangled it never mind
― lou reed scott walker monks niagra (chinavision!), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:11 (twelve years ago) link
I often enjoy reading effusive community newspaper prose on banal topics, but that's an especially fine example.
― simulation and similac (Hurting 2), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:18 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.grandforksherald.com/media/story/jpg/2010/09/09/marilynhagerty.jpg
― Waxahachie Swap (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:19 (twelve years ago) link
I love the image of Grand Forksians "long awaiting" the Olive Garden.
― simulation and similac (Hurting 2), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:20 (twelve years ago) link
"On a hot summer day, I will try the raspberry lemonade that was recommended."
Please report back!
This article is beyond description.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:31 (twelve years ago) link
"I was given a selection of food items to choose from. I indicated my preferences to the server, and some time later, those selections were brought to the table for me to eat!"
― Three Word Username, Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:36 (twelve years ago) link
MARILYN HAGERTY: Dippin’ Dots, Crazy Bread await fans at UND hockey games
― ಠ﹏ಠ i am dissapoint (diamonddave85), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:37 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.grandforksherald.com/media/story/jpg/2010/09/09/marilynhagerty.jpg Crazy Bread, Super Pretzels, Dippin’ Dots, cotton candy, bratwursts and beer. Popcorn, prime rib sandwiches, freshly roasted almonds.
― ಠ﹏ಠ i am dissapoint (diamonddave85), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:38 (twelve years ago) link
Drinking water with her meal = why she's lived to be such an active 85-year-old.
― pplains, Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:41 (twelve years ago) link
oh shit max just tweeted this
― the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:42 (twelve years ago) link
it's all happening
I saw this tweeted last night. Max, get on the ball.
― pplains, Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:44 (twelve years ago) link
Grandfawker
someone from grand forks tweets at me:
@max_read she's such a trooper - the week after her cancer diagnosis she reviewed Altru Hospital's room service #eatbeat
― max, Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:10 (twelve years ago) link
Is it OK to still think this is funny then?
― Waxahachie Swap (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:15 (twelve years ago) link
yeah
― max, Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:16 (twelve years ago) link
its a gentle, loving mockery
That is actually amazing.
― the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:17 (twelve years ago) link
guys guys guys... what if she's actually trolling us w this article?
― Waxahachie Swap (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:18 (twelve years ago) link
I think she is.
http://www.accessmylibrary.com/article-1G1-165736373/grand-forks-herald-n.html
― Eric H., Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:00 (twelve years ago) link
"The big soft shell at first glance reminded me of lefse"
― Eric H., Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:01 (twelve years ago) link
and yes — several black olives
― diamanda ram dass (Edward III), Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:49 (twelve years ago) link
Gawker is on it. Not via max but anyway:
http://gawker.com/5891587/grand-forks-olive-garden-receives-positive-review
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:52 (twelve years ago) link
i can't even
― goole, Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:53 (twelve years ago) link
Only time will tell if the still-too-new OG will rise to the top of the list: http://www.urbanspoon.com/lb/152/best-restaurants-Grand-Forks
― Eric H., Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:15 (twelve years ago) link
SHE SPEAKS!
http://blogs.villagevoice.com/forkintheroad/2012/03/olive_garden_review_marilyn_hegarty.php
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:48 (twelve years ago) link
Your Olive Garden review has been getting a lot of attention on the Internet.Yeah, I don't get it.
Yeah, I don't get it.
Hero.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:49 (twelve years ago) link
I may sound a little on the defensive to you today because of the emails I've received. One was kind of snotty. But the other four or five were kind of friendly. But my daughter tells me I should go on Facebook and read all this crap. And I do not have time to let myself be bothered or read all that stuff. I have a Sunday column I'm doing now about a completely different subject. I don't have time to sit here and twit over whether some self-styled food expert likes, or does not like, my column. The publisher likes it.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:54 (twelve years ago) link
I don't care whether they are or not. If anyone's got time to sit out there and nitpick, I kind of feel sorry for them. Get a life.
― goole, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:55 (twelve years ago) link
glad the internet could get its shit together on a thursday to laugh and point at an old lady for doing her job
― wham city bitch, wham wham city bitch (some dude) (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:56 (twelve years ago) link
She told everyone where to get the fuck off, and provided perfect context for it all as well. Any laughing I was doing earlier is rightly erased because she just pwned the world.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:58 (twelve years ago) link
Yo Whiney it didn't make it into the VV piece linked above but she also a hella Community fan.
― the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:03 (twelve years ago) link
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:03 (twelve years ago) link
under 16,000 views on gawkerabout 150 likes on the gawker article on facebookshe's received six e-mails
i thought the internet was bigger than this
― da croupier, Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:04 (twelve years ago) link
I like marilyn hagerty
― (he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:13 (twelve years ago) link
She seems like a cool lady
― polyphonic, Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:14 (twelve years ago) link
Small towns do their own thing, I'm down with Marilyn.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:16 (twelve years ago) link
Also, tbf I had to write stuff that I myself would probably make fun of when I worked at a community newspaper.
― simulation and similac (Hurting 2), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:20 (twelve years ago) link
I haven't checked lately because I'm in the middle of writing a Sunday column, and I hit the wrong key, and it flew away, and so I had to start all over again.
classic
― simulation and similac (Hurting 2), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:22 (twelve years ago) link
― da croupier, Thursday, March 8, 2012 2:04 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark
well i mean, think about how many times you've clicked on a 'funny link,' or shared it w/ people you know, and out of all those times how often you've decided to personally e-mail the person the funny story is by/about
― HalfNelson (some dude), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:23 (twelve years ago) link
who the hell sends an email just to say 'pathetic'?
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:24 (twelve years ago) link
can you imagine what the internet will be capable of when we're all her age?
its terrifying.
― ⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:26 (twelve years ago) link
I was just thinking of what's going to take the place of Olive Garden by then.
― pplains, Thursday, 8 March 2012 20:55 (twelve years ago) link
cyber olive garden 2 point infinity
― max, Thursday, 8 March 2012 20:56 (twelve years ago) link
OLIVE GREEN IS MADE OF PEOPLE
― da croupier, Thursday, 8 March 2012 21:15 (twelve years ago) link
mama...she loves the soylent garden
― da croupier, Thursday, 8 March 2012 21:16 (twelve years ago) link
A good comment from elsewhere:
When you read Marilyn’s review, try reading it in your head in the voice of actor Sam Elliott.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 22:37 (twelve years ago) link
exactly
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 8 March 2012 22:40 (twelve years ago) link
If anyone's got time to sit out there and nitpick, I kind of feel sorry for them. Get a life.
Surely this is an impending board description.
― Trying To Do A ‘Gotcha’ Moment (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 8 March 2012 22:43 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/08/marilyn-hagerty-olive-garden_n_1332753.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003
Not that the Grand Forks Olive Garden is resting on its laurels. When we asked to speak to the location's general manager, Donald Szutenbach, we were told he was in Italy, training at the brand's Culinary Institute of Tuscany.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 23:33 (twelve years ago) link
when did the onion switch to a paid content model, that is fucking ridiculous
― desperado, rough rider (thomp), Thursday, 8 March 2012 23:35 (twelve years ago) link
Ages ago! And yes.
― Medical Dance Crab With Lesson (Trayce), Thursday, 8 March 2012 23:55 (twelve years ago) link
the onion's whole website is shit now unfortunately
― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, 9 March 2012 01:15 (twelve years ago) link
:D
Marilyn takes America by viral storm
And there's video!
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2012 16:28 (twelve years ago) link
The NY Daily News ran an item yesterday about the danger of illegally imported beauty products that contain mercury. This part struck me as Onion-ish:
Here are some ways to tell if your products contain mercury.
Check the label for “mercurous chloride,” “calomel,” “mercuric,” “mercurio” or “mercury.” If you find any of those ingredients in your products, discard them immediately in a plastic bag or leak-proof container.
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/mercury-found-lotions-cosmetics-fda-products-sold-ethnic-neighborhoods-online-article-1.1034686#ixzz1odgfzcsd
― Josefa, Friday, 9 March 2012 16:52 (twelve years ago) link
<3 guilelessness, <3 Marilyn
― Carlos Pollomar (WmC), Friday, 9 March 2012 20:53 (twelve years ago) link
"The website postings were because residents of more metropolitan areas found it amusing that a chain restaurant would be reviewed. In larger markets, newspaper reviews are reserved for exclusive, high-end eateries that offer fine dining"
― the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Friday, 9 March 2012 20:57 (twelve years ago) link
seriously:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/mar/28/stuart-pearce-making-plans-england
― the pinefox, Thursday, 29 March 2012 11:45 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/defense-hazing-article-1.1059984
― s.clover, Monday, 16 April 2012 16:45 (eleven years ago) link
http://gma.yahoo.com/k-e-diet-brides-using-feeding-tubes-rapidly-080053646--abc-news-health.html
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 16 April 2012 19:18 (eleven years ago) link
between this and the tupac hologram, what year am I living in?
― dayo, Monday, 16 April 2012 19:19 (eleven years ago) link
http://queenanne.komonews.com/news/crime/739963-police-gun-pulled-following-poorly-attended-ska-show-queen-anne
― ma ck ro ma ck ro (mackro mackro), Wednesday, 18 April 2012 05:24 (eleven years ago) link
we must stop this ska-on-ska violence.
― kate78, Wednesday, 18 April 2012 05:42 (eleven years ago) link
(featuring former members of Smash Mouth, White Zombie and Bad Brains)
― goole, Wednesday, 18 April 2012 13:53 (eleven years ago) link
greag camp of smash mouth, qball of sublime lbc, ivan de prume of white zombie, isreal joseph of bad brains.
― beachville, Wednesday, 18 April 2012 13:58 (eleven years ago) link
'longbeach rehab band' <--- code for sublime cover band, innit??
― dayo, Wednesday, 18 April 2012 14:03 (eleven years ago) link
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2017999538_apusfrozencows.html
― Touché Gödel (ledge), Friday, 20 April 2012 09:12 (eleven years ago) link
Isn't that just the weirdest thing?
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 20 April 2012 11:47 (eleven years ago) link
feel terrible for considering that these cows are probably still edible
― dayo, Friday, 20 April 2012 11:49 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.afp.com/en/news/topstories/breivik-tells-court-i-am-very-likeable-person
― silverfish, Friday, 20 April 2012 14:29 (eleven years ago) link
Lazer Woolf?!
― sktsh, Saturday, 21 April 2012 14:41 (eleven years ago) link
I guess his mother really liked Fiddler on the Roof?
― Andrew Farrell, Saturday, 21 April 2012 15:48 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.thechronicle.com.au/story/2012/04/24/mum-steaming-over-rude-surprise-burger-penis/
http://media.apnonline.com.au/img/media/images/2012/04/24/TCH_24-04-2012_PAGE_3_01_TWB200412burger08_t325.jpg
― yuoowemeone, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 11:34 (eleven years ago) link
Classic pic.
― HE HATES THESE CANS (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 14:10 (eleven years ago) link
kylie
― goole, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 14:18 (eleven years ago) link
that url is great
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 14:34 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.jta.org/news/article/2012/04/23/3093586/man-can-sue-over-anti-semitic-comments-though-not-jewish
NEW YORK (JTA) -- A New Jersey appeals court has ruled that a man can sue for enduring anti-Semitic slurs from former employers despite not being Jewish.Myron Cowher, a former truck driver for Carson & Roberts Site Constructions & Engineering Inc., sued the company and former supervisors after allegedly enduring anti-Semitic comments for more than a year. His suit alleges discrimination that resulted in a hostile work environment.The Appellate Division of New Jersey Superior Court reversed a Superior Court judge in a 3-0 decision. The appeals court stated that the “proper question” is what effect the derogatory comments would have on “a reasonable Jew,” not on Cowher, who is of German-Irish and Lutheran background.
Myron Cowher, a former truck driver for Carson & Roberts Site Constructions & Engineering Inc., sued the company and former supervisors after allegedly enduring anti-Semitic comments for more than a year. His suit alleges discrimination that resulted in a hostile work environment.
The Appellate Division of New Jersey Superior Court reversed a Superior Court judge in a 3-0 decision. The appeals court stated that the “proper question” is what effect the derogatory comments would have on “a reasonable Jew,” not on Cowher, who is of German-Irish and Lutheran background.
hahahahhahahaha
― dharunravir (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 19:31 (eleven years ago) link
And although this is a fight I can lose/The accused is A REASONABLE JEW!
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 20:06 (eleven years ago) link
I used to get called "Jew" back in elementary school, but I never knew how to complain about it since it would somehow legitimize the word "Jew" as an insult?
It was the intent, I guess. Maybe I should sue and find some reasonable Jews as character witnesses.
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 20:07 (eleven years ago) link
isn't that the name of a Coen Bros film?
― i don't believe in zimmerman (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:21 (eleven years ago) link
Denny's going to get sued by African-Americans who have been victims of anti-Candadian remarks.
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:25 (eleven years ago) link
Canadian.
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:26 (eleven years ago) link
It's just 'a reasonable man' who is Jewish
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 22:56 (eleven years ago) link
So you're saying I'm not reasonable then.
― pplains, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 00:49 (eleven years ago) link
hamburger lady reminds me of:http://i.imgur.com/X7PXO.jpghttp://www.sonsofstevegarvey.com/2007/09/hey-kid-pass-this-to-david-ortiz.html
― ♆ (gr8080), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 02:58 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.spiegel.de/politik/deutschland/0,1518,829312,00.html
― goole, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 19:46 (eleven years ago) link
turns out, I do know how to speak German.
― pplains, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 19:47 (eleven years ago) link
http://mo.accessatlanta.com/celebrities-tv/idaho-man-accused-of-1426299.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm
― ♆ (gr8080), Thursday, 26 April 2012 18:45 (eleven years ago) link
http://now.msn.com/now/0506-dolphins-heroin-overdose.aspx
"Dolphins died of heroin OD after rave at zoo, report says"
Sad and sick as hell, actually.
― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 8 May 2012 00:23 (eleven years ago) link
For animals with sonar hearing, a possibly dubstep-heavy event was already considered a strain.
― ♆ (gr8080), Thursday, 10 May 2012 03:11 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/robert-schlesinger/2012/05/16/george-bush-writes-a-book-on-economic-growth-and-other-things-that-make-tons-of-sense
― StanM, Saturday, 19 May 2012 10:59 (eleven years ago) link
Jailed punk band Pussy Riot pushes free speech limits in Russia
― the late great, Friday, 25 May 2012 16:11 (eleven years ago) link
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/man-admitted-hospital-kidney-stone-discovers-hes-woman-110057308--abc-news-health.html
― omar little, Saturday, 26 May 2012 01:08 (eleven years ago) link
seriously would that ever be an onion article? not like an enquirer article or a wacky news of the world article or a human interest segment on the local news, but an onion article?
― s.clover, Saturday, 26 May 2012 01:43 (eleven years ago) link
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7077/7157376649_c8297ed088_b.jpg
― the late great, Tuesday, 5 June 2012 19:45 (eleven years ago) link
guh
― goole, Tuesday, 5 June 2012 19:46 (eleven years ago) link
haha, that same story also has a headline link on CNN that says "Dismemberment victim's head missing"
well, no shit.
― heated debate over derpy hooves (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 5 June 2012 19:52 (eleven years ago) link
imho it takes all the fun out of guessing which parts are missing
― Convert simple JEEZ to BDSMcode (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 16:00 (eleven years ago) link
Detachable penis is missing
― pplains, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 16:04 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/06/06/tagblogsfindlawcom2012-legallyweird-idUS379276591220120606
― r|t|c, Friday, 8 June 2012 14:21 (eleven years ago) link
The confessions of an ex-sex kitten
http://www.nyu.edu/gsas/dept/french/PEN%202012/LisaDierbeck.jpg
― the late great, Friday, 8 June 2012 22:38 (eleven years ago) link
Somali Islamists offer 10 camels as bounty for ObamaBy the CNN Wire Staff
http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/09/world/africa/somalia-al-shabaab-bounties/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
― the late great, Saturday, 9 June 2012 21:58 (eleven years ago) link
Casey Anthony reading 'Hunger Games,' book about killing children
http://news.yahoo.com/casey-anthony-says-shes-gone-hell-232851938--abc-news-topstories.html
― Godzilla vs. Rodan Rodannadanna (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 04:28 (eleven years ago) link
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/554662_515861844163_1094249877_n.jpg
― ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 08:48 (eleven years ago) link
OK that one *is* an onion article, right?
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 09:15 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/
Nice work BBC!
― Arvo Pärt Chimp (Neil S), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 09:17 (eleven years ago) link
Oh good lord.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 09:21 (eleven years ago) link
more goodness from CNN ...
"Snacks on a plane"
― the late great, Wednesday, 13 June 2012 17:22 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.wsoctv.com/news/online/site-information/lake-norman-high-school-yearbook-photo-story-corre/nPWGH/
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 04:45 (eleven years ago) link
wat
― goole, Monday, 18 June 2012 04:47 (eleven years ago) link
Ohshit yeah I read about that one on Popehat and I was so confused. The retraction sounds so backhanded. Also it implies no one ever even saw the photo in question and just ran with it anyway?
Ive seen the photo. It... really does look like a woman who flashed her bits. but by accident (slipped sideways gown) not on purpose. But its very hard to tell, as it could also be one of those bizarre illusory pics.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Monday, 18 June 2012 05:06 (eleven years ago) link
like, the one definite illusion is ppl saying she's "lifting her gown" - she isnt, she's holding a magazine in her lap.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Monday, 18 June 2012 05:10 (eleven years ago) link
bare genitals and private parts
sorry, that's BARE GENITALS AND PRIVATE PARTS
― jacob von logflume (DJ Mencap), Monday, 18 June 2012 07:16 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah the level of detail is bizarre.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Monday, 18 June 2012 08:37 (eleven years ago) link
Player 'completes' Diablo III video game
"Just over a month after the release of Diablo III, a pro player has managed to complete the game on its hardest setting"
― ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Friday, 22 June 2012 08:30 (eleven years ago) link
I am obviously reading different news sites, but that is an actual* news story. It's hardly Billy Mitchell, but still.
*I was going to say 'specialist', but then it sold 3.5 million on its first day..
― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 22 June 2012 09:37 (eleven years ago) link
http://menomoneefalls.patch.com/articles/woman-attacks-husband-for-having-the-shepherd-express-the-onion-in-his-car
― funny-skrillex-bee_132455836669.gif (s1ocki), Friday, 22 June 2012 19:10 (eleven years ago) link
The hell is with the comments on that article!?
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Saturday, 23 June 2012 04:55 (eleven years ago) link
strongly suspect that article is making appearances on 'men's rights' forums
― goole, Saturday, 23 June 2012 18:18 (eleven years ago) link
yeah those are the kind of comments they make, I've seen a few on our papers website; this whole "ALL women only want you for money and will ruin you and dump you" bitterness, it is frightening
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Saturday, 23 June 2012 23:44 (eleven years ago) link
look i know a sub-ed is fucking around here but
http://cumming.patch.com/articles/these-salads-should-be-tossed-says-fda
― pvmic bellvm (goole), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 15:29 (eleven years ago) link
speaking of which, before I clicked on the link I was having a hard time visualising what "for-having-the-shepherd-express-the-onion" might mean in that url
― jacob von logflume (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 16:21 (eleven years ago) link
cnn does it again
Instagram down in mass power outage
Breakfasts everywhere went undocumented on social media Saturday morning because photo-sharing site Instagram is still down after a line of powerful storms caused mass power outages across the Midwest and Atlantic Seaboard on Friday night.
― the late great, Saturday, 30 June 2012 20:11 (eleven years ago) link
haha
i was at a very hipstery gathering yesterday and addressed the 3 or 4 girls i was with: "so let me ask you something..." and was promptly interrupted by one saying "was instagram down last night?? YES."
― ♆ (gr8080), Sunday, 1 July 2012 22:54 (eleven years ago) link
so then did you talk about what you had had for breakfast or is that news stale after 2 pm?
― the late great, Sunday, 1 July 2012 23:06 (eleven years ago) link
lol I read that earlier and thought about posting it here. hilarious.
― (✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Sunday, 1 July 2012 23:46 (eleven years ago) link
more cnn
"Photos: Competing in the Hipster Olympics"
― the late great, Sunday, 22 July 2012 18:36 (eleven years ago) link
Not a perfect fit --- needs tweaking, but the sentiment expressed is pure Onion:
http://aminiatureclaypot.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/so-you-still-think-god-is-a-merciful-god/
― Vic Perry, Sunday, 22 July 2012 20:06 (eleven years ago) link
FFS new york times!
According to a D.J. in Brooklyn who goes by the Twitter handle Lil Internet, he coined the term “seapunk” last June after having a surreal dream, which he tweeted about: “Seapunk leather jacket with barnacles where the studs used to be.” His friends added a hashtag to “seapunk,” and a trend was born, like Aphrodite from the foam.
“The surprising thing is that it really was cohesive,” Lil Internet said by iChat; he declined to use his legal name, saying he is now known solely by his Twitter handle. He also described seapunk’s vibe as “Venice Beach Acid Rave 1995,” and cited surf-wear logos, yin-yang symbols and round holographic sunglasses as part of its look.
― the late great, Monday, 23 July 2012 10:32 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/04/fashion/Seapunk-a-Web-Joke-With-Music-Has-Its-Moment.html
^^ all of the quotes are just ... no words
― the late great, Monday, 23 July 2012 10:35 (eleven years ago) link
Great photo caption
― funny-skrillex-bee_132455836669.gif (s1ocki), Monday, 23 July 2012 14:15 (eleven years ago) link
ha that was the first thing i noticed
― goole, Monday, 23 July 2012 15:23 (eleven years ago) link
"no really, there's a good reason we took a picture of this guy"
― goole, Monday, 23 July 2012 15:24 (eleven years ago) link
The spacey electronic dance music borrows from Witch House, Chiptune, Drum & Bass and southern rap
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Monday, 23 July 2012 15:34 (eleven years ago) link
As lol as that article is, I feel like I am finally starting to *get* the sensibility of the generation that has spawned chillwave, witchhouse, etc.
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Monday, 23 July 2012 16:28 (eleven years ago) link
i haven't read that yet but finding out that lil internet wasn't just a funny anonymous twitter guy but is a real dude who directs Diplo videos and does a streaming "best week ever"-style show on some blog was really deflating and sad for me
― ♆ (gr8080), Thursday, 26 July 2012 22:22 (eleven years ago) link
Pop music these days: it all sounds the same, survey reveals
― Alba, Friday, 27 July 2012 18:50 (eleven years ago) link
headline is prolly a nod to the Onion tbf
― price lo matalan (DJ Mencap), Friday, 27 July 2012 18:56 (eleven years ago) link
A couple of people have put together "seapunk" playlists on spotify. It's mostly two bands: Teams and Unicorn Kid. Hadn't heard either before but it's alright in that chillwave "I'm not actually sure if this is supposed to be good or not" sort of way.
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Friday, 27 July 2012 20:07 (eleven years ago) link
“Seapunk leather jacket with barnacles where the studs used to be.”
it's like wu tang clan for the iGeneration
― the late great, Friday, 27 July 2012 20:22 (eleven years ago) link
"yeah yeah my mom loves spongebob and finding nemo too"
"dude your mom is a seapunk MILF! awesome!"
― the late great, Friday, 27 July 2012 20:23 (eleven years ago) link
i wonder if azaelia banks has seen the penis on the little mermaid dvd box
*get* the sensibility of the generation that has spawned chillwave, witchhouse, etc.
chillwave = rickrolled w/ the sound off
witchhouse = putting the webcam at odd angles in a dark room so boys can't see your body
― the late great, Friday, 27 July 2012 20:25 (eleven years ago) link
new r&b = livejournal
new rap = blingee
this is actually a lot more pervasive than ringtones and hashtag lyrics
― the late great, Friday, 27 July 2012 20:26 (eleven years ago) link
i'm sorry this has gone from jokes to capt obvious ideas for you
Are Daily Mail articles banned from this thread, well, for being the Daily Mail?
Was celebration of free health care in Opening Ceremony a coded message to the US? Americans are left confusedhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2180227/London-2012-Olympics-Some-Americans-left-baffled-tribute-NHS-Mary-Poppins-Opening-Ceremony.html
― Theodora Celery, Saturday, 28 July 2012 20:22 (eleven years ago) link
http://sportinglife.aol.co.uk/olympics/news/article/22891/7969529/italian-walker-tests-positive
― record-collection rave (Mr Andy M), Monday, 6 August 2012 22:16 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/aug/11/devastated-by-my-sons-tattoo
― price lo matalan (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 11 August 2012 07:50 (eleven years ago) link
this is probably a work of fiction imho but there are tons of killer lines in there so I'm sharing it with respect not derision
― price lo matalan (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 11 August 2012 07:52 (eleven years ago) link
it's a quality article
― like a CD of the Smiths stapled to your forehead (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:01 (eleven years ago) link
I'm an accountant and I have a giant tattoo of topless woman riding a motorbike in to hell on my back. It's never burdened my career
― like a CD of the Smiths stapled to your forehead (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:03 (eleven years ago) link
She needs counselling.
― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:05 (eleven years ago) link
she needs inversion therapy
― like a CD of the Smiths stapled to your forehead (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:09 (eleven years ago) link
this makes me more determined to get my robert musil tattoo.
and yes it will be him riding a motorcycle into hell.
― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:25 (eleven years ago) link
have always fancied having "KANT" and "HUME" tattooed across my knuckles
― like a CD of the Smiths stapled to your forehead (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:26 (eleven years ago) link
the no regrets tattoo alternative is to get those nike running shoes customised, you can't have "cunt" tho which sort of ruins it.
― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:28 (eleven years ago) link
Oh my god that woman needs help.That is the most fucked up self absorbed shit I have ever read, making it all about her being "redundant", acting like he was dead or something? Jesus christ.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:40 (eleven years ago) link
We need a new thread for : Shit That Looks Like A Daily Mail Article (But Isn't)
― Chewton Mendip (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Saturday, 11 August 2012 11:43 (eleven years ago) link
Tess Morgan is a pseudonym
― kanye shiwen (dayo), Saturday, 11 August 2012 12:07 (eleven years ago) link
His father asks, "Does it hurt?"
"Yes," I say, cutting across this male bonding. "It does. Very much."
;_;
― the late great, Saturday, 11 August 2012 17:01 (eleven years ago) link
that was the money line imo
tbh i was ready for the big reveal to be that it was a "MOM" tattoo with a heart around it
― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, 11 August 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link
inside a goatse.cx
― the late great, Saturday, 11 August 2012 18:08 (eleven years ago) link
"But what if he wants to be a lawyer?"
"Or an accountant."
Given that he's a student, you can easily tell if he wants to be one of these by finding out if he is studying Law or Accountancy. Given your relationship with him, I would suggest the easiest way to found out would be by writing to the Admissions Department of his FE institution.
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Saturday, 11 August 2012 18:11 (eleven years ago) link
i didn't know that stuff about aristocratic tattoos
― goole, Saturday, 11 August 2012 21:34 (eleven years ago) link
On day three, still in a fog of misery, I say to him, "Shall we talk?"
We sit down with cups of coffee. I open my mouth to speak and end up crying instead. I say, "You couldn't have done anything to hurt me more."
He is cool and detached. He says, "I think you need to re-examine your prejudices."
lost it here
god that tattoo article might as well be a transcript bw me and my mom regarding any significant life choice I've made in the last 5 years
― electric point-electric counterpoint (m bison), Saturday, 11 August 2012 21:37 (eleven years ago) link
yeah this was kind of rad to learn about!!
― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, 11 August 2012 23:59 (eleven years ago) link
unbelievable
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Sunday, 12 August 2012 02:37 (eleven years ago) link
― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, August 11, 2012 12:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
ditto
― catbus otm (gbx), Sunday, 12 August 2012 22:54 (eleven years ago) link
I'm starting to feel like the Graun played us all, it just seems way too... weird. Like extreme irony.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Sunday, 12 August 2012 23:31 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa2LOMajSwM
― drawings by teen cultists (Crabbits), Monday, 13 August 2012 02:09 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/24/entertainment-us-britain-prince-naked-idUSBRE87L08C20120824
not the reuters hed but the daily mail pictured
― goole, Friday, 24 August 2012 15:55 (eleven years ago) link
(that's the sun, not the mail)
― koogs, Friday, 24 August 2012 16:17 (eleven years ago) link
oh right
― goole, Friday, 24 August 2012 16:21 (eleven years ago) link
crosspost that headline to passive aggressive notes
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 24 August 2012 19:30 (eleven years ago) link
reuters on a roll with this
http://in.reuters.com/article/2012/08/25/us-usa-campaign-deathmetal-idINBRE87O03S20120825
― goole, Sunday, 26 August 2012 15:40 (eleven years ago) link
already added to wikipedia's death metal page
― get you ass to mahs (abanana), Sunday, 26 August 2012 16:34 (eleven years ago) link
idgi
― the late great, Sunday, 26 August 2012 16:37 (eleven years ago) link
will two live crew also not be performing?
http://www.militarytimes.com/news/2012/08/marine-fired-mattis-quote-tattoo-082712/
Union Pacific Railroad fired conductor Carl Newman of Kansas City, Mo., in 2010 because his tattoo violated the company’s “Violence in the Workplace” policy, according to a complaint filed in federal court Aug. 9.
The words were spoken by Gen. James Mattis, now head of U.S. Central Command, when he led Marines in Iraq in 2003.
Mattis, then a tough-talking major general known as “the Warrior Monk,” commanded 1st Marine Division during the invasion. According to Washington Post reporter Thomas E. Ricks’ book “Fiasco,” Mattis sent his tanks and artillery home after the successful invasion. He met with Iraqi tribal leaders and said, “I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I am pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you f--- with me, I’ll kill you all.”
― goole, Monday, 10 September 2012 21:06 (eleven years ago) link
that reminds me of my modest proposal to make police who shoot people get tear tattoos for each person they kill
― the late great, Monday, 10 September 2012 21:31 (eleven years ago) link
http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/2012/09/18/convicted-killer-says-hes-too-fat-to-be-executed/
― the late great, Thursday, 20 September 2012 06:11 (eleven years ago) link
reposting this one from the "most important local news story" thread:
http://djournal.com/view/full_story/20188758/article-Wicks-n-More-consumed-in-fire
― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Thursday, 20 September 2012 16:57 (eleven years ago) link
http://deadspin.com/5943994/stephen-a-smith-thought-an-article-about-him-in-the-onion-was-real
― am0n, Thursday, 20 September 2012 17:14 (eleven years ago) link
ok except it's already a very old joke at this point, this has got to be the mother of them all
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8462/8007439788_c8ee71a7de_m.jpg
― the late great, Thursday, 20 September 2012 22:09 (eleven years ago) link
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390443696604577647870908169992.html
― free-range chicken pox (Matt P), Saturday, 22 September 2012 21:48 (eleven years ago) link
Getting That Justin Vernon Body With Trainer Jeff Rogers
http://www.mtvhive.com/2012/09/24/bon-iver-workout/
― goole, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 15:34 (eleven years ago) link
haha, the late great, I posted in the Amish thread the Cleveland Plain Dealer headline on that story, which falls just short of all-time greatness:
http://imageshack.us/a/img692/2404/frontpage092112jpgf4ed9.jpg
― a shark with a rippling six pack (Phil D.), Tuesday, 25 September 2012 15:40 (eleven years ago) link
http://pitchfork.com/news/47960-full-scott-walker-album-details-revealed/
― Jeff W, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 19:10 (eleven years ago) link
his name was mullet?!?
― the late great, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 21:18 (eleven years ago) link
yeah his name was mullet. that kind of puts it more in mad magazine territory, though they'd probably change it to Potzrebie Mulletski or something.
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 21:21 (eleven years ago) link
Buddhist "Iron Man" Found by Nazis Is from Space
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=buddhist-iron-man-found
― goole, Thursday, 27 September 2012 18:27 (eleven years ago) link
Bachmann: ‘We Must Ban Falafel’ in School Lunches
http://dailycurrant.com/2012/09/28/bachmann-we-ban-falafel-school-lunches/#.UGXBjenOHSI.facebook
"I have to ask Ms. Bachmann, why is that a problem? I mean some children like the taste of falafel, what's wrong with that?""Chris, falafel is a gateway food," responded Bachmann, "It starts with falafel, then the kids move on to shawarma. After a while they say 'hey this tastes good, I wonder what else comes from Arabia?' ""Before you know it our children are listening to Muslim music, reading the Koran, and plotting attacks against the homeland.""We need to stop these terror cakes now, before they infiltrate any further."
"Chris, falafel is a gateway food," responded Bachmann, "It starts with falafel, then the kids move on to shawarma. After a while they say 'hey this tastes good, I wonder what else comes from Arabia?' "
"Before you know it our children are listening to Muslim music, reading the Koran, and plotting attacks against the homeland."
"We need to stop these terror cakes now, before they infiltrate any further."
― flopson, Friday, 28 September 2012 18:53 (eleven years ago) link
the daily currant is a shitty onion-style fake-news website
― max, Friday, 28 September 2012 18:55 (eleven years ago) link
lol now i'm one of those people!
― flopson, Friday, 28 September 2012 18:58 (eleven years ago) link
terror cakes is roughly B+ tho
― Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Friday, 28 September 2012 18:58 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.gameranx.com/updates/id/9639/article/glenn-beck-thinks-eve-online-is-a-front-for-the-cia/
― barthes simpson, Tuesday, 2 October 2012 13:29 (eleven years ago) link
"It starts with falafel, then the kids move on to shawarma."
OTM
― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:34 (eleven years ago) link
Falafel and kebab are totally opposite demographics over here.
― I got the Boyzone, I got the remedy (ledge), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:36 (eleven years ago) link
http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/assets/120927074234-benjamin-netanyahu-bomb-un-horizontal-gallery.jpg
― so, apparently we're not in a cave. we're in a.. monsters belly! (wolves lacan), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:43 (eleven years ago) link
christine lagarde from the IMF threatening argentina with a red card if they don't comply with their orders.
"Argentina is good in football and it certainly understands what we are talking about," said Ms Lagarde.
such condescension! good thing cristina fernandez told her to fuck off.
― so, apparently we're not in a cave. we're in a.. monsters belly! (wolves lacan), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:49 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.startribune.com/local/minneapolis/172500101.html?refer=y
Undisclosed 'concern' has Mpls. South HS in lockdown; police involved
Minneapolis South High School is in a lockdown Wednesday for what officials are calling a “concern in the school community.”
During the lockdown, classes are being conducted as usual, but students will remain in the rooms, the campus was closed during the lunch period and students with an open hour are not allowed to leave the building, said School District spokeswoman Rachel Hicks.
The district has yet to disclose what has prompted the lockdown.
“We are working collaboratively with the Minneapolis Police Department to monitor the concern,” Hicks said in a written statement. “However, we are unable to share details of the concern because of our ongoing investigation.”
Police Sgt. William Palmer confirmed that his department is involved “to a degree,” but he referred questions back to the district.
― goole, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 20:08 (eleven years ago) link
That would certainly be one of the drier Onion stories.
― pplains, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 20:13 (eleven years ago) link
certainly would.
― goole, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 20:14 (eleven years ago) link
http://consumerist.com/2012/10/03/fancy-new-taco-bells-hope-to-go-upscale-with-eaterys-image/
“We wanted a look that’s totally different, to show that we’re an upscale brand,” said the executive VP of big-time Taco Bell franchisee Alvarado Companies. “You walk in and it feels new and fresh.”
― bell biv devo (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 3 October 2012 23:41 (eleven years ago) link
haha OMG is taco bell gonna try to 'dinner service' like burger king did in the late 80s???
― balls, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 23:48 (eleven years ago) link
I'd never seen Demolition Man before, but a friend pointed out on fb that this is a movie prophecy come true. Wiki says: "All restaurants are Taco Bells, which "won the franchise wars" and evolved into fine-dining establishments that serve nouvelle cuisine."
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 4 October 2012 00:05 (eleven years ago) link
Norwegian prisoners livid about having to wear slippers in the visiting room.Hard to play football (google-translated link)
― Øystein, Thursday, 4 October 2012 09:03 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2012/10/09/roach-eating-contentant-dies.html
― obamana (abanana), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:21 (eleven years ago) link
sadly that doesn't sound like an onion article to me at all ... not because someone died but because since that lady died during the water-drinking contest it doesn't seem so unlikely anymore
― the late great, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 17:20 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah but water intoxication is a thing and roach intoxication just isn't.
OTOH it's possible he died from suddenly being massively, massively squicked out.
― Plasmon, Wednesday, 10 October 2012 03:16 (eleven years ago) link
Police use Taser on blind man after stick mistaken for sword
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-19979184
― koogs, Wednesday, 17 October 2012 12:34 (eleven years ago) link
Like they need an excuse to beat up someone.
― abanana, Wednesday, 17 October 2012 16:45 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.vita.mn/crawl/174838641.html
― there is no dana, only (goole), Friday, 19 October 2012 03:56 (eleven years ago) link
― zvookster, Friday, 19 October 2012 04:09 (eleven years ago) link
BREAKING: A former Minnesota actor is currently looking for work.
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Friday, 19 October 2012 14:31 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.blackyouthproject.com/2012/10/spike-lee-fired-from-james-brown-biopic-replaced-by-the-help-director/
― Neutral Coliseums (Matt P), Monday, 29 October 2012 23:27 (eleven years ago) link
oof.
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 00:59 (eleven years ago) link
Hah, srsly misunderstood that as "the Help! director" - Richard Lester to helm madcap romp based on the life of James Brown
― Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 15:43 (eleven years ago) link
Me too.
― One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:04 (eleven years ago) link
see that would be something
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:59 (eleven years ago) link
Bush's FEMA Director During Katrina Criticizes Obama For Responding To Sandy Too Quickly
http://thinkprogress.org/security/2012/10/30/1110901/bush-fema-director-katrina-hits-obama-sandy/
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 17:39 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newsnet5.com//dpp/news/local_news/cleveland_metro/woman-who-drove-along-sidewalk-to-avoid-stopping-for-cleveland-school-bus-must-wear-idiot-sign
― Evan, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:13 (eleven years ago) link
is that, like, allowed?
― crüt, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:23 (eleven years ago) link
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 12:39 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
wow, seriously? are we sure this isn't a joke
― Raymond Cummings, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:45 (eleven years ago) link
i read that for 5 minutes before i realised this wasn't the real Onion thread
― movember spawned a nobster (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:49 (eleven years ago) link
awesome
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:51 (eleven years ago) link
lmao @ the schoolbus passing video
― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 21:50 (eleven years ago) link
More from Cleveland, this time from our free weekly, SCENE, a review of chain restaurant/Hooter's competitor The Tilted Kilt. Some highlights:
The Tilted Kilt has been labeled a "breastaurant," but looks will only go so far. It takes more than a good-looking staff with partially exposed assets to survive....The clientele was a virtual Ellis Island of diners. To our right, a family of four with two teenagers dined. Sprinkled around the rest of the bar and seating area were business people in suits, a group of women celebrating an occasion, some families, and groups of guys watching the game. They all seemed to be comfortable and enjoying the sports bar atmosphere.A kilt-wearing server arrived quickly, and showing professional training, identified herself, asked if we had ever eaten there before, and walked us through the menu. She told us that the staff is encouraged to sit with guests and strike up a conversation, which is exactly what she did, talking with us about everything from the Browns to the casino and Cleveland in general. . . . We started off with the Irish nachos. Replacing the usual tortilla chips with house-made potato chips is a unique take on this perennial favorite. The Kilt wisely uses "old school" liquid cheese sauce, and as a bonus, the sauce is a blend of cheeses, giving it a slightly elevated taste. The ground beef on the nachos was uneventful and under-seasoned, calling to mind Taco Bell's Nachos Bell Grande.
The clientele was a virtual Ellis Island of diners. To our right, a family of four with two teenagers dined. Sprinkled around the rest of the bar and seating area were business people in suits, a group of women celebrating an occasion, some families, and groups of guys watching the game. They all seemed to be comfortable and enjoying the sports bar atmosphere.
A kilt-wearing server arrived quickly, and showing professional training, identified herself, asked if we had ever eaten there before, and walked us through the menu. She told us that the staff is encouraged to sit with guests and strike up a conversation, which is exactly what she did, talking with us about everything from the Browns to the casino and Cleveland in general.
. . . We started off with the Irish nachos. Replacing the usual tortilla chips with house-made potato chips is a unique take on this perennial favorite. The Kilt wisely uses "old school" liquid cheese sauce, and as a bonus, the sauce is a blend of cheeses, giving it a slightly elevated taste. The ground beef on the nachos was uneventful and under-seasoned, calling to mind Taco Bell's Nachos Bell Grande.
Read it all, I beg you.
― C-3PO Sharkey (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 November 2012 16:54 (eleven years ago) link
that woman actually did it multiple times!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqyHv-niL5I
― 乒乓, Thursday, 8 November 2012 17:36 (eleven years ago) link
xp Even though we were stuffed to the gills, I pleasantly coerced myself into a dessert.
I think he means he jerked off.
― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 8 November 2012 17:47 (eleven years ago) link
yeah i assumed by the camera and the tone of the driver's voice that she'd done this routinely. bizarre that it didn't occur to her to just leave ten minutes earlier or choose a different route.
― balls, Thursday, 8 November 2012 19:18 (eleven years ago) link
"Irish nachos" seems offensive somehow
― Number None, Thursday, 8 November 2012 22:13 (eleven years ago) link
Irish Nachos are like regular nachos but instead of tortilla chips there are crispy sliced of baked potatoes on the bottom!
oh ffs
― pplains, Friday, 9 November 2012 00:06 (eleven years ago) link
Jewish Nachos = Matzchos
― Knut Horowitz, Able-Bodied Investment Banker and Ladies Man (Hurting 2), Friday, 9 November 2012 00:46 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/11/republicans-consider-welcoming-people-who-believe-in-math-and-science.html
― CGI fridays (Edward III), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:08 (eleven years ago) link
nice try tho
― CGI fridays (Edward III), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:09 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/10/02/nebraska-man-accused-attacking-wife-with-sandwich/
― Evan, Friday, 9 November 2012 18:03 (eleven years ago) link
The newspaper says court documents don't detail the ingredients, but a deputy found several pieces of lunchmeat on the carpet outside a bedroom and some pieces of bread in the bedroom.
Oh god...
http://csiloveyou.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/copvom.jpg?w=300&h=224
http://brunswickpolice.org/images/CPA_crime1.jpg
― Evan, Friday, 9 November 2012 18:13 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.wpxi.com/news/news/local/kung-fu-instructor-students-fight-armed-robber-squ/nSxph/
― 乒乓, Sunday, 11 November 2012 23:40 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1112/83709.html#ixzz2C1DTuXgG
― Online Webinar Event for Dads (harbl), Monday, 12 November 2012 14:35 (eleven years ago) link
whoa, a nsfw warning would've been nice for that headline.
― pplains, Monday, 12 November 2012 14:43 (eleven years ago) link
lol i just clicked it and they change the headline. now i can't remember what it said but it was better. it was like Grover Norquist: Romney a 'poopy head'
― Online Webinar Event for Dads (harbl), Monday, 12 November 2012 14:52 (eleven years ago) link
Interview is here: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=50134975n
About 1:45 in.
― Bobby Ken Doll (Eric H.), Monday, 12 November 2012 14:53 (eleven years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/qdFtl.png
― pplains, Monday, 12 November 2012 15:15 (eleven years ago) link
Mitt Romney: Painted As Poop
― pplains, Monday, 12 November 2012 15:16 (eleven years ago) link
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md02271HfA1qzigjno1_1280.jpg
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Monday, 12 November 2012 18:24 (eleven years ago) link
wc
― Yorkshire lass born and bred, that's me, said Katriona's hologram. (thomp), Monday, 12 November 2012 18:26 (eleven years ago) link
was waiting for that
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Monday, 12 November 2012 18:26 (eleven years ago) link
pretty sure she came up on the lifecoach guru nuthouse thread
― goole, Monday, 12 November 2012 18:28 (eleven years ago) link
http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2012/11/07/police-robbery-thwarted-after-chinese-restaurant-workers-fail-to-understand-demands/
― 乒乓, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 12:44 (eleven years ago) link
I should have known better than to start reading the comments section.
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 18:22 (eleven years ago) link
http://pitchfork.com/news/48689-andrew-wk-named-cultural-ambassador-to-the-middle-east-by-us-department-of-state/
― Evan, Sunday, 25 November 2012 14:46 (eleven years ago) link
???
― goole, Sunday, 25 November 2012 19:09 (eleven years ago) link
I know right?
― Evan, Monday, 26 November 2012 05:17 (eleven years ago) link
Party over :(
http://news.yahoo.com/us-rescinds-offer-send-performer-andrew-w-k-212201260.html
― a worthy pioner! (weatheringdaleson), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:54 (eleven years ago) link
"among other things"
aw :/
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:57 (eleven years ago) link
so i saw this "killer karaoke" thing on fb today and am wondering if that is real or onion-y or what?
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/11/26/3114359/man-who-died-during-roach-eating.html
― elan, Tuesday, 27 November 2012 05:34 (eleven years ago) link
i guess the u.s. is still in a depression huh
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/11/28/is-praying-for-a-lottery-win-frowned-upon-depends-on-who-you-ask/
― abanana, Thursday, 29 November 2012 07:56 (eleven years ago) link
http://gothamist.com/2012/12/05/red_cross_drops_off_trashbag_of_ham.php
Red Cross Delivers Trashbag Of Broken Hamburgers To Sandy Victims
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:49 (eleven years ago) link
haha jeez
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:52 (eleven years ago) link
my heart wants to believe that those came from the mitt romney non-campaign event
― i dream of booze pinata (jjjusten), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:53 (eleven years ago) link
maybe it's some kind-of "art prank" like what this guy did: 'Hamburglar' Artist Throws Gnawed Cheeseburgers at People From Bike
― Spectrum, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:58 (eleven years ago) link
Sean Penn blasts fellow actors for putting money before arthttp://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/dec/14/sean-penn-blasts-fellow-actors
― wolves lacan, Friday, 14 December 2012 18:57 (eleven years ago) link
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iD5qA2Etr_0/TI1vCdVdQgI/AAAAAAAABoM/LCQWwM-Of44/s1600/logo.png
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Friday, 14 December 2012 21:07 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2012/12/18/quebec-theft-maple-syrup-court.html8M Quebec maple syrup heist leads to arrestsMaple syrup seized in Quebec theft probe to be releasedQuebec police conduct 2nd maple syrup raidMaple syrup seized in N.B. may have been stolen in QuebecPolice search warehouse for missing maple syrup
― silverfish, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:13 (eleven years ago) link
whoops, first one should have been
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2012/12/18/quebec-theft-maple-syrup-court.html8M Quebec maple syrup heist leads to arrests
― silverfish, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:15 (eleven years ago) link
$18M Quebec maple syrup heist leads to arrests
― silverfish, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:16 (eleven years ago) link
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/drive-thru-prank-leaves-workers-questioning-reality-214808352.html
for the headline
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 17 January 2013 03:12 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21043693
A security check on a US company has reportedly revealed one of its staff was outsourcing his work to China.
The software developer, in his 40s, is thought to have spent his workdays surfing the web, watching cat videos on YouTube and browsing Reddit and eBay.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 17 January 2013 10:59 (eleven years ago) link
Well done that man!
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:05 (eleven years ago) link
http://si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/BF-AE118B_05WIc_G_20130104192101.jpg
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:06 (eleven years ago) link
there was (still is) a blog called 'four hour work week' where he pretty much advocates doing this.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_4-Hour_Workweek
― koogs, Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:18 (eleven years ago) link
xp some discussion of that stupid graphic in batshit rightwing cartoons: 2012 and imaginary romney presidency years edition
― Neil S, Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:20 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/01/republicans-accuse-obama-of-using-position-as-president-to-lead-country.html
― velvet undergrad (diamonddave85), Friday, 18 January 2013 16:25 (eleven years ago) link
well that's certainly taking the thread title literally.
― s.clover, Friday, 18 January 2013 16:31 (eleven years ago) link
ha
― zero dark (s1ocki), Friday, 18 January 2013 16:45 (eleven years ago) link
headline ambiguity funnies
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2013/01/20/us-fake-sept-11-coins-settlement.html
― abanana, Sunday, 20 January 2013 14:17 (eleven years ago) link
9/11 coins was a hoax
― zero dark (s1ocki), Sunday, 20 January 2013 16:20 (eleven years ago) link
Manti has an Adidas football cleat box filled with them
― Rihanna Tootysalsafroyo (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 20 January 2013 17:18 (eleven years ago) link
Snow Plow Driver Brags About Burying Cars In YouTube Video
― elan, Sunday, 24 February 2013 18:41 (eleven years ago) link
Cannibal Cop Seemed Like Regular Cop At Work
― arby's, Sunday, 3 March 2013 03:48 (eleven years ago) link
104-Year-Old Woman Forced to Lie about Her Age on Facebook
― diamonddave85, Tuesday, 5 March 2013 20:41 (eleven years ago) link
Austrian cardinal's mother hopes he doesn't become pope
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 12 March 2013 09:38 (eleven years ago) link
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/03/taliban-greets-chuck-hagel-with-bomb.html
― goole, Tuesday, 12 March 2013 16:41 (eleven years ago) link
"Nick Cave To Unleash 30 Multi Coloured Horses At New York’s Grand Central Terminal"
http://www.yatzer.com/HEARD-NY-by-Nick-Cave
(which looks great and is only funny because of the name (it's not THAT nick cave))
― koogs, Friday, 15 March 2013 15:06 (eleven years ago) link
Cops: Teen who said Ninjas attacked him actually shot himself
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Saturday, 16 March 2013 19:56 (eleven years ago) link
CNN Grieves That Guilty Verdict Ruined Promising Lives of Steubenville Rapists
― kate78, Sunday, 17 March 2013 20:56 (eleven years ago) link
Jihadi Web Forums Are Losing Members to Twitter, Facebook, Death
― goole, Thursday, 21 March 2013 20:05 (eleven years ago) link
ha, best use of non-parallel construction ever
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 21 March 2013 20:09 (eleven years ago) link
@beautypill 3mThe last line of this article is absolutely intended to read like an Onion piece. Tell me I'm wrong. http://wapo.st/11ztSXg
― some dude, Sunday, 24 March 2013 22:10 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/weird/NATL-Irish-Town-Legalizes-Drinking-and-Driving-199867031.html
Healy-Rae told the Times he thinks the measure will help preserve pub culture, lower the risk of suicide and attack isolation in the small town.
― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 18:55 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4203460/Schools-ban-children-making-best-friends.html
Actual article not Onion-esque, but the concept has promise.
― ljubljana, Saturday, 30 March 2013 12:43 (ten years ago) link
The picture and caption of this article look Onionish.
― Josefa, Tuesday, 9 April 2013 22:35 (ten years ago) link
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/04/11/newser-beaver-kills-man/2074145/
― Mordy, Thursday, 11 April 2013 22:21 (ten years ago) link
Boston Dunkin' Donuts Remain Open To 'Take Care Of Law Enforcement And First Responders'
― unprepared guitar (Edward III), Friday, 19 April 2013 19:02 (ten years ago) link
http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/1440/20130418/tylenol-eases-existential-anxiety.htm
― The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Friday, 19 April 2013 19:15 (ten years ago) link
that link starts 2 videos with sound when you open it
― abanana, Friday, 19 April 2013 22:54 (ten years ago) link
the chains of worry are forged in idle hours
― The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Friday, 19 April 2013 22:58 (ten years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/04/north-korean-missile-test-delayed-by-windows-8.html
― the Upperchest (crüt), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:31 (ten years ago) link
oh wait "borowitz report" nevermind
― the Upperchest (crüt), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:40 (ten years ago) link
smh
― ampersand cooper black (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:40 (ten years ago) link
\o_O/
― the Upperchest (crüt), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:41 (ten years ago) link
Fuckin Borowitz
― how's life, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 20:10 (ten years ago) link
quite literally "shit that looks like an onion article but isn't"
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 20:24 (ten years ago) link
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2032985/Road-trip-UCLA-student-goes-Libya-fight-rebels-sick-summer-break.html
― 乒乓, Wednesday, 26 June 2013 10:41 (ten years ago) link
i added that dude on facebook back when that all went down and he accepted my request some time after he got back
― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Wednesday, 26 June 2013 12:59 (ten years ago) link
Last line of the article is such an Onion punchline.
― Vinnie, Wednesday, 26 June 2013 14:00 (ten years ago) link
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/british-public-wrong-about-nearly-everything-survey-shows-8697821.html
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 16:31 (ten years ago) link
"15 per cent of of girls under 16 are thought to become pregnant every year"
what the holy fuck is wrong with people?
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:02 (ten years ago) link
this is why political change that doesn't involve severe beatings is never gonna work
― the SI unit of ignorance (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:03 (ten years ago) link
15% of girls but some of them are 4 yrs old, for the 15 yr olds it must be more like 80%
― the most promising US ilxor has thrown the TOWEL IN (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:05 (ten years ago) link
actually that's a flaw in the question -- most people would probably think you meant something like 13-16 year olds, not all girls under 16.
― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:06 (ten years ago) link
survey doesnt cover the most enduring political calumny of the social right -- the notion that the ECHR is part of the EU, which lots of university educated people subscribe to
― the most promising US ilxor has thrown the TOWEL IN (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:08 (ten years ago) link
from the article Hurting i'm guessing they asked people to guess at figures, not make a choice. and i don't care how you skew the numbers, 15 percent?????
― the SI unit of ignorance (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:09 (ten years ago) link
i've explained the difference between the ECHR and the EU to people on several occasions and to be honest they didn't give a shit even when they knew the difference
― the SI unit of ignorance (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:10 (ten years ago) link
they usual express mild confoundment when told that the conservative party & st winston were its progenitors
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/libertycentral/2009/oct/04/human-rights-act-conservatives/print
― the most promising US ilxor has thrown the TOWEL IN (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:17 (ten years ago) link
quand le peuple sera-t-il donc éclairé?
jamais
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:26 (ten years ago) link
http://uk.movies.yahoo.com/nick-cave-talks-his-insane-gladiator-sequel-074708607.html
― cardamon, Friday, 12 July 2013 16:55 (ten years ago) link
http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/inside-story-Holiday-Inn-sex-den/story-19562484-detail/story.html
this reads like a brilliantly nailed-on parody of investigative tabloid articles, but I don't think it's supposed to be
― I was wearing a liturgy t shit and i noticed your liturgy tattoo (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 15:37 (ten years ago) link
bewildering it just stops when it was about to get... interesting
― Neil S, Wednesday, 24 July 2013 15:49 (ten years ago) link
matt's other work today http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/POLL-makes-perfect-pie/story-19562561-detail/story.html
― There shouldn't be a thread for Dennis Perrin tweets. (stevie), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 16:41 (ten years ago) link
matt cannon is the max read of brentwood
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 24 July 2013 16:42 (ten years ago) link
specialisms: group sex, pies
― There shouldn't be a thread for Dennis Perrin tweets. (stevie), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 16:45 (ten years ago) link
OMG Holiday Inn Sex Den!
― PJ. Turquoise dealer. Chatroulette addict. Andersonville. (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 16:56 (ten years ago) link
It's also amazing how the first 4/5 of that article are about him fucking up his attempts to clandestinely record the events.
― PJ. Turquoise dealer. Chatroulette addict. Andersonville. (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 16:58 (ten years ago) link
http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/user/lw-avatar/3532161/profileMedium1372253292086.png
― Moulden Honaro (S-), Thursday, 25 July 2013 05:05 (ten years ago) link
Good finds here
http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2013/07/29/apple_cheap_iphone_5_rumors_leak_exposes_human_rights_abuses_plastic_back.html
― wombspace (abanana), Tuesday, 30 July 2013 01:10 (ten years ago) link
http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/insight-pharmaceuticals-considers-bananacin----banana-flavored-anacin-tablets----after-worlds-oldest-man-credits-combo-as-secret-to-long-life-217133321.html
Insight Pharmaceuticals Considers 'Bananacin' -- Banana-Flavored Anacin Tablets -- After World's Oldest Man Credits Combo As Secret To Long Life Scientists rush to lab to concoct new over-the-counter remedy for longevityhttp://i.imgur.com/ILM6h3Q.jpgBananas + Anacin = The Secret to Longevity? (PRNewsFoto/INSIGHT Pharmaceuticals, LLC)TREVOSE, Pa., July 26, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- Moments after learning that the world's oldest man credits his longevity to a daily dose of six Anacin tablets and one banana, scientists at Insight Pharmaceuticals began to investigate whether 'Bananacin' – a banana-flavored Anacin tablet – might be the elixir for longevity.According to multiple news reports, 112-year-old Salustiano "Shorty" Sanchez-Blazquez of Grand Island, New York, credits the banana-Anacin combo for his extended life. Born in 1901, Guinness World Records now recognizes Shorty as the world's oldest man."Historically, apples are the fruit most associated with staying healthy and avoiding doctors," said Jennifer Moyer, vice president of marketing for Insight Pharmaceuticals. "Our scientists had never looked into the banana before. But now that the certified oldest man in the world credits bananas and Anacin as his life-extending combo, we're certainly going to explore whether a new 'Bananacin' product makes sense."Anacin, invented in 1916 by William Milton Knight, is one of the oldest brands of pain relievers in the United States. Its unique formula contains two important ingredients – aspirin and caffeine – to deliver fast pain relief from headaches. Anacin is currently available in regular and maximum strength tablets as well as regular strength caplets; Insight Pharmaceuticals is exploring a banana-shaped capsule for the new 'Bananacin' flavor."Forget the fountain of youth – 'Bananacin' could be a game-changer for life expectancy," Moyer noted. "If nothing else, 'Bananacin' sounds delicious! And it only makes sense that the oldest man in the world recognizes the benefits of Anacin, which is one of the oldest brand pain relievers in the U.S."While Insight Pharmaceuticals scientists work to bring 'Bananacin' to drugstores nationwide, headache sufferers can visit www.Anacin.com to download a $2 coupon for any original Anacin product. Bargain hunters can follow Anacin on Twitter (@Anacin) to double their coupon to $4."We're committed to helping people have better days by giving them fast pain relief – especially for those great nights that are followed by rough mornings," Moyer continued. "And if we can somehow discover how to help them add days to their life with 'Bananacin,' it's a win-win."
http://i.imgur.com/ILM6h3Q.jpgBananas + Anacin = The Secret to Longevity? (PRNewsFoto/INSIGHT Pharmaceuticals, LLC)
TREVOSE, Pa., July 26, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- Moments after learning that the world's oldest man credits his longevity to a daily dose of six Anacin tablets and one banana, scientists at Insight Pharmaceuticals began to investigate whether 'Bananacin' – a banana-flavored Anacin tablet – might be the elixir for longevity.
According to multiple news reports, 112-year-old Salustiano "Shorty" Sanchez-Blazquez of Grand Island, New York, credits the banana-Anacin combo for his extended life. Born in 1901, Guinness World Records now recognizes Shorty as the world's oldest man.
"Historically, apples are the fruit most associated with staying healthy and avoiding doctors," said Jennifer Moyer, vice president of marketing for Insight Pharmaceuticals. "Our scientists had never looked into the banana before. But now that the certified oldest man in the world credits bananas and Anacin as his life-extending combo, we're certainly going to explore whether a new 'Bananacin' product makes sense."
Anacin, invented in 1916 by William Milton Knight, is one of the oldest brands of pain relievers in the United States. Its unique formula contains two important ingredients – aspirin and caffeine – to deliver fast pain relief from headaches. Anacin is currently available in regular and maximum strength tablets as well as regular strength caplets; Insight Pharmaceuticals is exploring a banana-shaped capsule for the new 'Bananacin' flavor.
"Forget the fountain of youth – 'Bananacin' could be a game-changer for life expectancy," Moyer noted. "If nothing else, 'Bananacin' sounds delicious! And it only makes sense that the oldest man in the world recognizes the benefits of Anacin, which is one of the oldest brand pain relievers in the U.S."
While Insight Pharmaceuticals scientists work to bring 'Bananacin' to drugstores nationwide, headache sufferers can visit www.Anacin.com to download a $2 coupon for any original Anacin product. Bargain hunters can follow Anacin on Twitter (@Anacin) to double their coupon to $4.
"We're committed to helping people have better days by giving them fast pain relief – especially for those great nights that are followed by rough mornings," Moyer continued. "And if we can somehow discover how to help them add days to their life with 'Bananacin,' it's a win-win."
― Remember! The cormorant is a big brrd. It has got a long neck. (unregistered), Friday, 2 August 2013 00:23 (ten years ago) link
Insight Pharmaceuticals is exploring a banana-shaped capsule
drop everything
― Our scientists had never looked into the banana before. (weatheringdaleson), Friday, 2 August 2013 00:48 (ten years ago) link
The meat, which contained no fat, was fried in a pan with copious amounts of butter by an English chef and presented on a plate with a bun, lettuce and tomato slices to Dr. Post, Mr. Schonwald and Hanni Rützler, an Austrian food scientist. Pleas from the journalists and others in the audience for a bite were dismissed by Dr. Post, who said he did not have enough to go around.
― sassy, fun, and RELATABLE (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 6 August 2013 18:40 (ten years ago) link
http://money.msn.com/now/post--hipsters-are-killing-american-razor-sales#scpshrtu
― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 17:20 (ten years ago) link
wow, that article fits this thread topic to a T
― Nhex, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 17:42 (ten years ago) link
man I wouldn't like to be a collector of original 7-inch vinyl Happy Mondays singles right now
― the secret life of bantz (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 17:56 (ten years ago) link
http://www.complex.com/sports/2013/08/the-time-i-dunked-on-gilbert-arenas
The Time I Dunked on Gilbert Arenas and Sharted My Shorts
― frogbs, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 18:06 (ten years ago) link
over two pages? really?
― sassy, fun, and RELATABLE (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 18:29 (ten years ago) link
http://www.theferrett.com/ferrettworks/2013/08/dear-daughter-i-hope-you-have-some-fucking-awesome-sex/
― scott seward, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 14:29 (ten years ago) link
reprinted elsewhere with a picture that totally looks like an onion picture too:
http://goodmenproject.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/ApprehensiveDad.jpg
http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/brand-dear-daughter-i-hope-you-have-awesome-sex/
― scott seward, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 14:30 (ten years ago) link
You know, that's one way to insure your daughter never has sex. Good thinking there.
― pplains, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 16:47 (ten years ago) link
sex insurance
― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 18:18 (ten years ago) link
dear daughter if I ever blog about ANYTHING tangentially related to or even mentioning you having sex you can just disown me
― HOOS next aka won't get steened again (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 18:55 (ten years ago) link
Noises from daughter's room.Dad bursts in.Daughter: (gasps) Dad!Dad: I support you sweetie! Have an awesome time... carry on...
...just pretend I'm not here.
― Evan, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 19:11 (ten years ago) link
Ilxor: Nooooooooooooooo!
― MAVEN! (Matt P), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 19:15 (ten years ago) link
Conservatives Angry At 'Elysium' for Showing World Their Ideology Would Create
http://thecontributor.com/ari-rabin-havt-elysium-biased
― Evan, Thursday, 15 August 2013 23:23 (ten years ago) link
For the headline, mostly.
― Evan, Thursday, 15 August 2013 23:24 (ten years ago) link
http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/
― Neil S, Friday, 16 August 2013 09:10 (ten years ago) link
oops sorry, I know you'll be desperate to read this, URL should be:http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/
3rd time's the charm!http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#ixzz2c7FeMTcz?1588245343&redirected=true
i hope nobody got paid to write that
― Nhex, Friday, 16 August 2013 20:43 (ten years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2013/aug/19/david-cameron-protruding-disc-back
― owenf, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 11:21 (ten years ago) link
http://minnesota.publicradio.org/features/npr.php?id=213568763
― R'LIAH (goole), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 21:10 (ten years ago) link
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/19/beers-implicated-in-emergency-room-visits/?src=recg&_r=1
― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Wednesday, 21 August 2013 18:39 (ten years ago) link
My dad was this kind of dad and my sister's just fine. I'd post a photo of my nephew but... People have sex and eat and shit and sleep and whatevs.
― Fais ce que voudra, occiderai de même (Michael White), Wednesday, 21 August 2013 18:52 (ten years ago) link
Finding the unjustly homeless, and teaching them to code.https://medium.com/architecting-a-life/fee8f3ee97a0
― Neil S, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 19:00 (ten years ago) link
this sounds awful already. making someone learn to code has got to sanctioned as some kind of torture somewhere
― Nhex, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 19:13 (ten years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/01/22/is-atheism-a-religion/atheism-cannot-replace-religion
(it's the headline combined with the author photo and the name "Phyllis Tickle" that does it)
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Thursday, 29 August 2013 18:00 (ten years ago) link
pen name of Phil Listicle
― Neil S, Thursday, 29 August 2013 18:03 (ten years ago) link
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/braun-calls-apologize-season-ticket-110758738--mlb.html
― One burly voice screamed and that was one of many. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 6 September 2013 22:06 (ten years ago) link
Uri Geller mystified by letterbox on Thames Sonning Bridge
― sktsh, Tuesday, 10 September 2013 12:30 (ten years ago) link
Bridge got mad sonned. Shit was bananas.
― sktsh, Tuesday, 10 September 2013 12:35 (ten years ago) link
"Residents of Sonning-on-Thames, Berkshire, said the box could only be reached by river users."
― idembanana (abanana), Tuesday, 10 September 2013 13:05 (ten years ago) link
Geller: Is it true Bridge got sonned by a Thames over letterbox beef?
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 10 September 2013 13:42 (ten years ago) link
http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/69759000/jpg/_69759732_southoxfordshire-20130910-00974.jpg
― sktsh, Tuesday, 10 September 2013 14:23 (ten years ago) link
well I guess it is an "onion article" of sorts
http://mobile.theverge.com/2013/9/10/4713256/groupon-india-onion-deal-crashes-website
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 10 September 2013 14:35 (ten years ago) link
http://www.nj.com/middlesex/index.ssf/2013/09/highland_park_becomes_first_town_in_nj_to_ban_fracking.html
(just tbc, fracking in highland park nj is already exceedingly unlikely). Also:
The borough also banned nuclear weapons in the 1980s.)
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 18 September 2013 19:49 (ten years ago) link
lol Truthout:
Is Broad Opposition to War on Syria an Opportunity to End American Empire Responsibly?
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 18 September 2013 21:36 (ten years ago) link
lol hurting xpost
http://shotglassluchrc.weebly.com/uploads/1/3/0/8/13081517/7944557_orig.jpg
― Sick Rave and the Bad Speed (S-), Thursday, 19 September 2013 01:54 (ten years ago) link
http://nypost.com/2013/09/24/i-wooed-my-man-with-a-sandwich/
― idembanana (abanana), Wednesday, 25 September 2013 17:27 (ten years ago) link
Today's Sunday Express headline:http://images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/covers/287x361front/2013-10-13.jpg
― kinder, Sunday, 13 October 2013 14:02 (ten years ago) link
ahahha
― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 14:16 (ten years ago) link
Who would have thought that this might happen?https://medium.com/weird-future/d19c8db85c2
― I like to think I have learnt a thing or two about music (Neil S), Friday, 18 October 2013 13:21 (ten years ago) link
if anything that guy is waaay too easy on McConlogue, but i notice that piece is being hosted on the same site, so...
― Nhex, Friday, 18 October 2013 14:11 (ten years ago) link
iirc the last time McConlogue tried this shit, Billy Ray and Louis totally played him w/OJ futures
― sktsh, Friday, 18 October 2013 15:36 (ten years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/22/sports/deadspins-tim-burke-waits-to-turn-offbeat-moments-into-gifs.html?_r=5&
― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 18:27 (ten years ago) link
http://blogs.wsj.com/experts/2013/10/28/suzanne-somers-the-affordable-care-act-is-a-socialist-ponzi-scheme/
http://s.wsj.net/blogs/img/EXPERTS_LOGO.pnghttp://s.wsj.net/public/resources/images/OB-YV315_expert_C_20130909095823.jpg What will the Affordable Care Act mean for retirees?
SUZANNE SOMERS: As a writer of 24 books mostly on health and wellness and by using my celebrity to get to the best and brightest doctors, scientists and medical professionals in the alternative and integrative health-care world, I have come to the following conclusions...
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 October 2013 14:21 (ten years ago) link
subsequent correction also applicable:
An earlier version of this post contained a quotation attributed to Lenin (“Socialized medicine is the keystone to the arch of the socialist state”) that has been widely disputed. And it included a quotation attributed to Churchill (“Control your citizens’ health care and you control your citizens“) that the Journal has been unable to confirm.Also, the cover of a Maclean’s magazine issue in 2008 showed a picture of a dog on an examining table with the headline “Your Dog Can Get Better Health Care Than You.” An earlier version of this post incorrectly said the photo showed and headline referred to a horse.
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 29 October 2013 14:50 (ten years ago) link
looooool
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 October 2013 15:39 (ten years ago) link
http://deadspin.com/marshawn-lynch-had-no-idea-buffalo-was-not-in-new-york-1454884873
― balls, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 22:33 (ten years ago) link
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/08/27/researchers-take-on-crucial-question-are-haters-gonna-hate/
― Strangers look on with a discernible, barely contained ‘wow’. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 21 November 2013 17:17 (ten years ago) link
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/scrooge-an-economic-hero-defenders-say-1.1161205
― Merdeyeux, Saturday, 14 December 2013 23:32 (ten years ago) link
I bet Ward Sutton was aware of that.
― zanarkand bozo (abanana), Sunday, 15 December 2013 06:17 (ten years ago) link
David N. Mayer, professor of law and history at Capital University Law School in Ohio
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 15 December 2013 06:37 (ten years ago) link
Nelson Mandela lookalike struggles to come to terms with hero's death
― sktsh, Sunday, 15 December 2013 16:03 (ten years ago) link
children-evacuated-from-swimming-pool-after-prosthetic-leg-mistaken-for-paedophile
― mirostones, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:31 (ten years ago) link
http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/12/17/delta-airlines-is-very-sorry-it-generated-a-confirmation-code-that-read-h8gays/
― napgenius (goole), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:32 (ten years ago) link
http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/serial-killer-fails-return-genoa-prison-21275313
― 乒乓, Thursday, 19 December 2013 15:09 (ten years ago) link
― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Tuesday, October 22, 2013 11:27 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
This one kills me
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 19 December 2013 15:40 (ten years ago) link
http://www.philly.com/philly/food/20140102_Jewish_foods__non-wheat_noodles_top_2014_trends.html
food trends in 2014 to include pickling, food trucks, "hipster Asian"
― queen bey backers (Stevie D(eux)), Friday, 3 January 2014 03:00 (ten years ago) link
http://news.yahoo.com/kim-jong-un-fed-his-uncle-to-120-starving-dogs--report-145303810.html
― DNP-dizzy (weatheringdaleson), Friday, 3 January 2014 17:24 (ten years ago) link
fucking hell
― Strangers look on with a discernible, barely contained ‘wow’. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 3 January 2014 17:27 (ten years ago) link
probably bullshit but fun to think about
― Eyeball Kicks, Friday, 3 January 2014 19:49 (ten years ago) link
(report is "unconfirmed")
― DNP-dizzy (weatheringdaleson), Friday, 3 January 2014 19:51 (ten years ago) link
following up: http://www.businessinsider.com/jang-song-taeks-execution-rumors-2014-1
― this harmless group of nerds and the women that love them (forksclovetofu), Monday, 6 January 2014 15:56 (ten years ago) link
http://news.msn.com/crime-justice/man-charged-with-atomic-wedgie-murder-of-stepfather?ocid=ansnews11
― Nhex, Friday, 10 January 2014 17:45 (ten years ago) link
Rad Hourani’s Adolescence Smelled Like Sperm & Baby Powder
I wanted something transformable, representing life from birth to death. The top note is baby powder mixed with the smell of sperm, but a sperm that is not necessarily vulgar or filthy. It's more a smell you can't put your finger on...Christopher [the perfumer] went as close to the sperm smell as possible and made it really elegant and beautiful.
― His magesty's satanic walnut farm (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 22:06 (ten years ago) link
the word you're looking for is bleach dude
― this harmless group of nerds and the women that love them (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 22:20 (ten years ago) link
Amazon to ship things before you're even thought of buying them
― Lee626, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 00:57 (ten years ago) link
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57617458-71/amazon-to-ship-things-before-youve-even-thought-of-buying-them/
― Lee626, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 00:59 (ten years ago) link
cool thx for the gift amazon this seems very likely and like a real thing
― lag∞n, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 01:01 (ten years ago) link
Bad headline. Seems to be more like "amazon considering shipping stuff to warehouses close to places they expect to sell items soon."
― Øystein, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 13:16 (ten years ago) link
which would be an excellent headline and why CNET usually consults me on these things.
― Øystein, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 13:17 (ten years ago) link
xp: Not bleach. Spermine is the polyamine in semen with the distictive smell - they could easily just add enough spermine (or related compounds spermidine or putrecine) to get that top note just right.
― His magesty's satanic walnut farm (Sanpaku), Thursday, 23 January 2014 01:35 (ten years ago) link
"SodaStream accused of using conflict bubbles"
― Philip Nunez, Thursday, 23 January 2014 01:43 (ten years ago) link
http://images.dailystar-uk.co.uk/dynamic/pixfeed/covers/257x330front/2014-01-25.jpg
for the subheadline
― Dolly Dilly Dally (soref), Saturday, 25 January 2014 20:25 (ten years ago) link
http://thegrio.com/2014/01/12/pimp-sues-nike-for-not-warning-shoes-could-be-dangerous-if-used-to-beat-people/
― this harmless group of nerds and the women that love them (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 25 January 2014 23:03 (ten years ago) link
nyt, sub-sub-onion, not even gonna waste teh effort to bypass the paywall
OpinionPastoral Icon or Woolly Menace?By RICHARD CONNIFF
Sheep. They’re not as harmless as they seem.
― j., Sunday, 26 January 2014 23:22 (ten years ago) link
http://www.salon.com/2014/01/28/radical_activist_sentenced_to_read_malcolm_gladwell/
― Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 06:53 (ten years ago) link
lolololol
― Dan I., Wednesday, 29 January 2014 07:26 (ten years ago) link
as onion knock-offs go this is pretty good http://the-toast.net/2014/01/29/everyone-imposter-syndrome-except/
― eric banana (s.clover), Thursday, 30 January 2014 18:56 (ten years ago) link
huh, interesting that this came out a few days later; basically the same piecehttp://www.theonion.com/articles/report-today-the-day-they-find-out-youre-a-fraud,35133/
― PSY talks The Nut Job (forksclovetofu), Monday, 3 February 2014 15:38 (ten years ago) link
http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2004/2/9/hundreds-register-for-new-facebook-website/
― socki (s1ocki), Tuesday, 4 February 2014 20:52 (ten years ago) link
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/02/06/272490481/taliban-release-video-of-captured-american-military-dog
― Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Friday, 7 February 2014 03:03 (ten years ago) link
http://www.splicetoday.com/pop-culture/an-embarrassment-of-nouveau-riches
― RAP GAME SHANI DAVIS (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 14 February 2014 19:05 (ten years ago) link
http://kotaku.com/norway-mass-murderer-goes-on-hunger-strike-for-better-1522910916
― Nhex, Sunday, 16 February 2014 04:53 (ten years ago) link
Chevron apologizes for fracking well explosion with coupons for free pizzaResidents affected by the massive explosion and fire are also eligible for a 2-liter bottle of soda
― silverfish, Thursday, 20 February 2014 15:57 (ten years ago) link
haha, i was thinking about posting that one
― Nhex, Thursday, 20 February 2014 16:41 (ten years ago) link
http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2014/02/chronicle_deals_with_sperm-fil.php
― Virginia, Plain and Tall (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 20 February 2014 18:50 (ten years ago) link
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/21/haters-going-to-hate-research-suggests/
― MISTERSNRUB (some dude), Friday, 21 February 2014 20:39 (ten years ago) link
ilxor.com
― Nhex, Friday, 21 February 2014 21:13 (ten years ago) link
http://www.financialjesus.com/interesting-economics/top-10-countries-to-have-your-wallet-stolen-by-pickpockets/
― soref, Sunday, 23 February 2014 22:13 (ten years ago) link
Carter Too Jewish For Jewish Role
British actress HELENA BONHAM CARTER stunned director PAUL WEILAND with her Jewish accent on the set of their new movie SIXTY SIX and even had to be asked to tone down her impersonation The PLANET OF THE APES actress, who has Austrian Jewish roots, stars as social-climber ESTHER REUBEN in the British film and reveals it wasn't hard to do because of her family upbringing She says, "People always think I'm indelibly English, but actually I was brought up in Golders Green (north west London) and there's tons of Jewish blood on my mother's side " Of her role as Mrs Reuben, Carter laughs, "I was off-the-Richter-scale Jewish I sounded like MAUREEN LIPMAN (of THE PIANIST fame)!"
― soref, Sunday, 23 February 2014 22:27 (ten years ago) link
14 Insane Moments From RT's Coverage Of The Russian Invasion Of Ukrainewww.buzzfeed.com
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 16:26 (ten years ago) link
"Relax, Chipotle won't stop serving guacamole because of global warming"-LA Times
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 18:06 (ten years ago) link
http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2014/03/06/joseph_morse_the_army_s_top_sexual_assault_lawyer_accused_of_sexual_assault.html
― Virginia, Plain and Tall (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 6 March 2014 19:58 (ten years ago) link
Study finds 1 in 10 Americans think HTML is an STD
― Lee626, Friday, 7 March 2014 14:47 (ten years ago) link
http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20140305/wicker-park/kickstarter-fail-artist-raises-51k-publish-books-burns-them-alley
― chive on you crazy diamond (diamonddave85), Friday, 7 March 2014 22:01 (ten years ago) link
Wait so this jackass didn't think to include the shipping cost in the amount he was asking per book?
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 7 March 2014 22:24 (ten years ago) link
Campbell said he spent $30,000 of the Kickstarter money to print 2,000 copies of the 200-page hardback book and then spent more money to include a dead wasp inside of each book.
― PSY talks The Nut Job (forksclovetofu), Friday, 7 March 2014 22:27 (ten years ago) link
Sorry to hear that u failed to print stick figures on paper and put them in the mail, guy
― Dan I., Saturday, 8 March 2014 02:06 (ten years ago) link
this is the best because the only losers in this story are people that would pay money for a book of webcomics
― perfect puppy (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 8 March 2014 02:32 (ten years ago) link
He's probably mentally ill tbh; and he did deliver 700 books to people. Obviously lost his mind
― Nhex, Saturday, 8 March 2014 03:47 (ten years ago) link
yeah, i'm def sad for dude's mental health, but good luck getting me to find a modicum of empathy for people who gave some dude $35 for a book of stick figures
― perfect puppy (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 8 March 2014 04:04 (ten years ago) link
must... refrain... from... hipster... puppy... book... comment...
― PSY talks The Nut Job (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 8 March 2014 07:29 (ten years ago) link
― socki (s1ocki), Saturday, 8 March 2014 15:28 (ten years ago) link
uhh i've been following this guy's comics for like five years now. he's very good at what he does and has a history of deep trolling. iirc he previously claimed that he just pretends to be depressed for the $$$ etc
― micah, Saturday, 8 March 2014 16:02 (ten years ago) link
sounds like denial, depression is not a good money maker
― Nhex, Sunday, 9 March 2014 03:29 (ten years ago) link
Women: Hot Guys Don’t Drive Mail Truckshttp://cdn.govexec.com/media/img/upload/2014/02/18/021814mailtrucksGE/medium.jpg
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 03:34 (ten years ago) link
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2579884/Perrie-Edwards-mums-fury-Holby-City-story-line-deranged-fan-plots-decapitate-singer-rusty-chainsaw-obsession-1Ds-Zayn-Malik.html
― soref, Thursday, 13 March 2014 13:10 (ten years ago) link
publish-books-burn-them-alley
― j., Thursday, 13 March 2014 13:13 (ten years ago) link
xpost looks more like a daily mash article
― tsrobodo, Thursday, 13 March 2014 16:48 (ten years ago) link
apologies for two Mail links in a row but this is great
https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1545560_653608554700595_73441332_n.png
― trying to emulate Kirk Cobain with a shrill, shouting voice (DJ Mencap), Friday, 14 March 2014 15:33 (ten years ago) link
lol what the fucking fuck
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 March 2014 15:34 (ten years ago) link
ws time distortion pill
― Eric H., Friday, 14 March 2014 15:49 (ten years ago) link
Ellie Lolzwhatthefuckingfuck
― glumdalclitch, Friday, 14 March 2014 15:54 (ten years ago) link
futuristic techniques in torture is pretty much exactly what we should expect from the mail adding its new profile as a tech-forward news enterprise to its traditional profile
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 14 March 2014 16:00 (ten years ago) link
Correctional policy ideas from a 12-year-old boy
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 March 2014 16:01 (ten years ago) link
"New Technology To Extend Criminal Suffering Until The Nightmares Stop And We Can Finally Live A Normal Life After What That Bastard Did And Not Have To Look Over Our Shoulder When Doing Something As Mundane As Going To Get Groceries Or Even Go Outside For That Manner"
― Evan, Friday, 14 March 2014 16:24 (ten years ago) link
Fans time vasectomies for NCAA tourney
"If you are going to be laid up on the couch for a few days, you might as well get (a vasectomy) done when there is some great college basketball on TV," said Mike LaSalle, a 40-year-old father of two who had a vasectomy Friday. "You had all the conference championship games over the weekend and the NCAA tourney starts this week."
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 17 March 2014 01:06 (ten years ago) link
makes sense
― gbx, Monday, 17 March 2014 01:26 (ten years ago) link
Courtney Love claims to have found missing Malaysian Airlines plane http://nme.assets.ipccdn.co.uk/themes/default/static_images/buy_ticket_button_green.jpg
― in my day this was all feels (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 18 March 2014 12:52 (ten years ago) link
BUY TICKETS!
― One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 18 March 2014 13:26 (ten years ago) link
excellent
― Nhex, Tuesday, 18 March 2014 14:19 (ten years ago) link
Mad Men's Creator: Don Draper Represents American Society
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 March 2014 20:22 (ten years ago) link
lmao
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, 20 March 2014 21:28 (ten years ago) link
Georgia lawmakers pass controversial ‘guns everywhere’ bill
― Bryan, Friday, 21 March 2014 22:02 (ten years ago) link
don't know if this 100% fits the thread, but it's a very embarrassing profile that might as well be called "Adam Driver: Why Is He So Hot?"
http://www.bkmag.com/2014/03/03/a-man-among-girls-adam-driver/
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 March 2014 22:11 (ten years ago) link
Tattoo of gun leads to SWAT standoff
― ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Saturday, 22 March 2014 18:33 (ten years ago) link
wha?
http://i872.photobucket.com/albums/ab286/pstlpkr/josephstalin.jpg
― pplains, Saturday, 22 March 2014 21:52 (ten years ago) link
i'm guessing it's related to this - http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/maine-man-sparks-police-standoff-gun-tattoo-stomach-article-1.1726889
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1726887.1395251294!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_1200/gun-tattoo.jpg
what a dumb fucking tattoo
― balls, Saturday, 22 March 2014 21:55 (ten years ago) link
― balls, Saturday, March 22, 2014 4:55 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― pplains, Saturday, 22 March 2014 22:01 (ten years ago) link
lol sometimes my clipboard refuses to copy the right thing, yes it's that story
― ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Sunday, 23 March 2014 00:59 (ten years ago) link
it's probably wrong to say "someone that stupid deserves to be shot" but...
― Nhex, Sunday, 23 March 2014 22:50 (ten years ago) link
some of his other tattoos are even dumber.
― how's life, Sunday, 23 March 2014 23:17 (ten years ago) link
http://blog.caranddriver.com/puppy-potential-volkswagen-teams-with-rspca-to-teach-dogs-to-drive
― Lee626, Wednesday, 2 April 2014 18:18 (nine years ago) link
Posted April 1
― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 2 April 2014 19:14 (nine years ago) link
DEA Chief: Please, Think Of The Dogs Before You Legalize Pot
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/02/dogs-marijuana-pets_n_5078556.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
― Mordy , Wednesday, 2 April 2014 20:46 (nine years ago) link
xp - article notes it was an april fools joke played on the magazine editors (FR5T APR number plate etc.), but being a regular C/D reader am rather sure it's not their joke on the readers. Good Onionesque headline in any case.
― Lee626, Thursday, 3 April 2014 04:38 (nine years ago) link
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/pakistan/10745630/Pakistani-9-month-old-baby-accused-of-attempted-murder.html
but mostly sad
― Mordy , Friday, 4 April 2014 23:23 (nine years ago) link
https://roadtrippers.com/blog/harvard-discovers-three-of-its-library-books-are-bound-in-human-flesh
Of course, if this was from The Onion, the three books would be Fifty Shades of Grey, Kenny Loggins' autobiography, and Jimmy Carter's Revolutionary War novel.
― Damnit Janet Weiss & The Riot Grrriel (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 10 April 2014 03:41 (nine years ago) link
Not my discovery, but:
Parrot put on Prozac after being left in garage for three years after repeating screaming name of owner's dead wife
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Thursday, 10 April 2014 20:45 (nine years ago) link
^after repeatedly screaming
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Thursday, 10 April 2014 20:46 (nine years ago) link
aw. parrots are easily mentally damaged things.
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 10 April 2014 21:14 (nine years ago) link
yeah that's a horribly sad story
― balls, Thursday, 10 April 2014 21:17 (nine years ago) link
I don't know about this "owning a pet with a longer lifespan than you that also mimics the English language."
― pplains, Thursday, 10 April 2014 21:27 (nine years ago) link
christ that bird looks horrifying
― Nhex, Thursday, 10 April 2014 21:48 (nine years ago) link
You should see Sarah these days.
― pplains, Thursday, 10 April 2014 22:08 (nine years ago) link
Laboratory-grown vaginas implanted in patients
I've been wondering what Cronenberg was up to.
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Friday, 11 April 2014 05:59 (nine years ago) link
he's been fairly prolific over the last few years
― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 11 April 2014 13:27 (nine years ago) link
The full headline is closer to an actual news story but the headline I first saw on twitter was "Vice Journalist Smokes Marijuana During Interview": http://t.co/sRQ1Mf1v4H
― posi riot (some dude), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 14:32 (nine years ago) link
Ragtag Team of Rogue Chihuahuas Terrorizing Arizona Town
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Friday, 18 April 2014 18:20 (nine years ago) link
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/7830524/German-throws-puppy-at-Hells-Angels-bikers-then-flees-on-bulldozer.html
― tsrobodo, Saturday, 19 April 2014 08:31 (nine years ago) link
"What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell's Angels is currently unclear,"
― Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 19 April 2014 15:57 (nine years ago) link
Arkansas ex-cop killed while trying to set anti-corruption blogger’s hot dog cart on fire
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/04/19/arkansas-ex-cop-killed-while-trying-to-set-anti-corruption-bloggers-hot-dog-cart-on-fire/
― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Sunday, 20 April 2014 13:44 (nine years ago) link
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/video-josie-cunningham-plans-abortion-3434350#ixzz2zQCVM59q"
― From Tha Crouuuch To Da Palacios (DJ Mencap), Monday, 21 April 2014 12:52 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2014/apr/21/obama-easter-bunny-egg-roll-white-house
"Barack Obama kisses first lady Michelle Obama alongside a masked adult dressed as a towering, man-sized rabbit whose unblinking eyes never stray from the president and his wife."
― kinder, Monday, 21 April 2014 17:19 (nine years ago) link
Spanish village considers changing name from 'Kill Jews'.
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 22 April 2014 17:00 (nine years ago) link
it's kind of begging for it tbh
http://sports.yahoo.com/photos/wrigley-field-celebrates-100-years-of-baseball-1398273666-slideshow/
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:50 (nine years ago) link
justin bieber visits the yasukuni shrine:http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2014/04/23/how-justin-bieber-inadvertently-stepped-into-one-of-the-worlds-greatest-geopolitical-controversies/
― building a desert (art), Thursday, 24 April 2014 01:47 (nine years ago) link
Nothing Justin Bieber-related ever surprises me/comes off as onion-y to me anymore.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 24 April 2014 01:54 (nine years ago) link
Giant John Paul II crucifix falls and instantly crushes young man to death in Italy
― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Thursday, 24 April 2014 16:57 (nine years ago) link
http://www.okcfox.com/story/25302985/teens-find-new-use-for-burts-beeswax-lip-balm
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 April 2014 21:43 (nine years ago) link
ppl are just posting 'news of the weird' links now
― balls, Thursday, 24 April 2014 22:20 (nine years ago) link
oh cmon if you can't get down with
Those who are into "Beezin" say it adds to experience of being drunk or high.Others say it helps to keep them alert.So what's exactly causes that tingling sensation in Burt's Beeswax?
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 April 2014 22:23 (nine years ago) link
uncanny how much that's like the onion
― balls, Thursday, 24 April 2014 22:31 (nine years ago) link
stay ballzin
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 April 2014 22:38 (nine years ago) link
reads like it has been run back and forth through babelfish a few times
― it definitely wasn't designed to be a pants pocket player (stevie), Friday, 25 April 2014 09:03 (nine years ago) link
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/in-the-long-run-wars-make-us-safer-and-richer/2014/04/25/a4207660-c965-11e3-a75e-463587891b57_story.html
― goole, Monday, 28 April 2014 14:13 (nine years ago) link
it was more "lol but sad" but I thought it was a parody when I first read the "NACCP Reconsiders Award for Donald Sterling" headline this weekend.
Just picturing his agent going, "Oooh, Donny. This is really going to hurt your chances getting that NAACP honor..."
― pplains, Monday, 28 April 2014 14:16 (nine years ago) link
Is that what Beez in the Trap is about?
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Monday, 28 April 2014 15:31 (nine years ago) link
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2014/04/28/violent_dr_seuss_book_should_be_banned_from_library_patron_says.html
Pretty sure the patron in question is just trolling, but still:
This is the same work of fiction that former U.S. First Lady Laura Bush, an ex-librarian, said was her favourite children’s book. She told The Wall Street Journal in 2006 she even had photos of her twins, Jenna and Barbara, jumping on the belly of their father, George W., when he read to them. No assault charges were laid against the girls.
― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 17:17 (nine years ago) link
That book does get a little dark in some places:
http://astridlingering.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/photo-1-e1330918071197-224x300.jpg
― pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 17:27 (nine years ago) link
http://www.macleans.ca/news/canada/community-fears-rotting-whale-carcass-is-set-to-explode/
more "news of the weird" than onion-like admittedly, but whatever, great article
Jenny Parsons, the owner of the Seaside restaurant in the town, said she fears the smell of the whale, which is about 500 metres from her business, will deter customers.Parsons said she would like to see the whale towed to another location to finish rotting and then return its skeleton so it can be featured as a tourist attraction.“The whale has got to go,” Parsons said. “But I think we have a limited amount of time to figure out where we could put the whale so we don’t lose the valuable part of the whale.”
Parsons said she would like to see the whale towed to another location to finish rotting and then return its skeleton so it can be featured as a tourist attraction.
“The whale has got to go,” Parsons said. “But I think we have a limited amount of time to figure out where we could put the whale so we don’t lose the valuable part of the whale.”
― silverfish, Wednesday, 30 April 2014 17:05 (nine years ago) link
for the photohttp://f.cl.ly/items/0Q0U1H3H3B1d1G0E1r1R/Capture.PNG
― sktsh, Friday, 2 May 2014 14:04 (nine years ago) link
this thread is experiencing some mission creep.
― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 2 May 2014 14:19 (nine years ago) link
word.
― how's life, Friday, 2 May 2014 14:28 (nine years ago) link
That looks like a fetish suit
― DDD, Friday, 2 May 2014 14:36 (nine years ago) link
Hrm yeah. Maybe not best thread for it. Those eyes though.
― sktsh, Friday, 2 May 2014 15:01 (nine years ago) link
there's a shining carpet doormat you can buy also that i have to admit is tempting
― balls, Friday, 2 May 2014 15:54 (nine years ago) link
followup to silverfish's story:
http://www.weather.com/video/whale-not-expected-to-explode-47922?
thank god
― tao lin wolf (unregistered), Sunday, 4 May 2014 02:42 (nine years ago) link
Man Tries to Marry Porn-Filled Laptop
http://www.newser.com/story/186425/man-tries-to-marry-porn-filled-laptop.html
― some dude, Thursday, 8 May 2014 11:20 (nine years ago) link
http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2014/05/baby_name_map_new_yorkers_don_t_call_their_babies_brooklyn.html
mostly for the map
― goole, Thursday, 8 May 2014 14:49 (nine years ago) link
http://gawker.com/accused-portland-reservoir-teen-i-didn-t-piss-in-the-1564611565
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 8 May 2014 17:35 (nine years ago) link
"I was like, 'Dudes I have to piss so bad,'" Swonger said. "So I just went over to the wall [of the reservoir].I leaned up against the wall and pissed on it. Right there on the wall, dude. I don't know else how to describe it."
City officials disagree. "When you see the video, he's leaning right up because he has to get his little wee wee right up to the iron bars," Portland Water Bureau administrator David Shaff told the Oregonian. "There's really no doubt what he's doing."
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 8 May 2014 17:36 (nine years ago) link
when city officials make public statements about the size of your penis to the local paper, it's probably time to move
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 8 May 2014 18:05 (nine years ago) link
I assumed it was a Portland thing, like turning a blind eye toward Nike or not being able to pump your own gas.
― pplains, Thursday, 8 May 2014 18:42 (nine years ago) link
Pope Francis gets old school on the Devil
http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/a-modern-pope-gets-old-school-on-the-devil/2014/05/10/f56a9354-1b93-4662-abbb-d877e49f15ea_story.html
― some dude, Sunday, 11 May 2014 20:13 (nine years ago) link
http://corp.7-eleven.com/Newsroom/2014NewsReleases/7ElevenRollsOutMustacheStraws/tabid/595/Default.aspx
― funny and lolexander (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 14 May 2014 23:16 (nine years ago) link
Boston Bomber’s Other Plan Was Opening Kazakhstan’s First Starbucks
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Saturday, 17 May 2014 02:36 (nine years ago) link
Man Suing Stripper for $3k Because He Thought She Really Liked Him
http://blacksportsonline.com/home/2014/05/man-suing-stripper-for-3k-because-he-thought-she-really-liked-him/
― some dude, Saturday, 17 May 2014 22:49 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-think-that-stripper-really-liked-me,10883/
― balls, Saturday, 17 May 2014 22:51 (nine years ago) link
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Friday, May 16, 2014 10:36 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this is the most exemplary example of what i was looking for when i started this thread.
― socki (s1ocki), Saturday, 17 May 2014 23:35 (nine years ago) link
― Nhex, Sunday, 18 May 2014 02:46 (nine years ago) link
The stripper’s stage name is Nomi
ok really though?
― funny and lolexander (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, 19 May 2014 12:04 (nine years ago) link
Brad Pitt Tosses A Beer To Matthew McConaughey Upon Realizing They Are Neighbors
― Diddley Hollyberry (Phil D.), Monday, 19 May 2014 13:35 (nine years ago) link
we love to hate thos e fuckers
― Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, 19 May 2014 14:00 (nine years ago) link
Tom DeLay: ‘Americans Forget the Constitution Was Written by God’
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 00:55 (nine years ago) link
In case you're curious, Brad and Matt drink Hopitoulas IPA. Not great, not bad.
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 00:58 (nine years ago) link
Time magazine is really aiming for the Onion demographic.
Drunk Fish Totally Impress Sober Fish, Study Finds
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 17:49 (nine years ago) link
thread has really gotten back on track in a big way
― ςὖτ ιτ Οὖτ (some dude), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 17:55 (nine years ago) link
Scientists accidentally create a Johnny Cash fan.
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 27 May 2014 20:22 (nine years ago) link
http://www.businessinsider.com/huge-social-media-manager-does-all-day-2014-5
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 27 May 2014 21:08 (nine years ago) link
ha, right down to the picture
― goole, Tuesday, 27 May 2014 21:12 (nine years ago) link
Thus far, the post has yet to be retweeted, but it has generated two favorites.
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 27 May 2014 22:05 (nine years ago) link
Pennsylvania Girl Elbowed Boy In Testicles For Laughing After She Farted During Sex On School Bus: State Police
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Thursday, 29 May 2014 16:57 (nine years ago) link
and that first sentence, too!
― Dan I., Thursday, 29 May 2014 17:14 (nine years ago) link
It wasn't even... a fart...
― Nhex, Thursday, 29 May 2014 19:40 (nine years ago) link
so did all of those things happen in sequence, on the school bus, or
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 29 May 2014 19:40 (nine years ago) link
International Business Times
― een, Thursday, 29 May 2014 20:55 (nine years ago) link
Slightly guilty lols for posting this one, but http://bobbraunsledger.com/guest-top-newark-student-says-time-to-speak-is-now/
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Saturday, 31 May 2014 14:30 (nine years ago) link
http://bobbraunsledger.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/BLOGJORDANTHOMAS-231x300.jpg GUEST: Top Newark student says time to speak is now
Today’s guest blog was written by Jordan Thomas, a senior at Newark’s University High School where he is valedictorian and earned a 4.5 GPA. He was admitted to Princeton, Harvard, Yale, and Rutgers and will attend Princeton in the fall. He plans to go to law school and become a Constitutional lawyer. He was the student member of the Newark School Advisory Board for this school year. He delivered these remarks at Tuesday night’s board meeting.
“Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”
This passage, derived from our nation’s founding text, the Declaration of Independence, details an individual’s natural propensity to tolerate, or, in some cases, suffer, rather than to excite disruption, engage in public denunciation, or demand absolute reformation in times of hardship and deficient leadership. Candidly, I admit that I have been one so guilty of remaining reserved and civil in both action and speech through the duration of the struggle that has occurred in the Newark Public Schools system these months past, blinded by a false sense of hope, a chimerical sense of promise, and a foolish belief that my words and admonitions would be heeded if conducted in a manner that coupled professionalism with discretion.
Unfortunately, an unspeakable decision that has been unveiled last week has revealed that approach to be ineffective, and, as stated by our founding fathers, there comes a time in which one must no longer hold his tongue or contain his extreme dissatisfaction.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Saturday, 31 May 2014 14:32 (nine years ago) link
wow, the Smoking Gun headline on that one story is "Bus Sex Teen Busted After Queef Beef"
― ςὖτ ιτ Οὖτ (some dude), Saturday, 31 May 2014 14:52 (nine years ago) link
Welcome to 'boring' Belgium where even the pigeons are on cocaine
― ςὖτ ιτ Οὖτ (some dude), Sunday, 1 June 2014 11:14 (nine years ago) link
Billy Crystal swept the Audie Awards, otherwise known as the "Oscars of the audiobook industry."
― ςὖτ ιτ Οὖτ (some dude), Sunday, 1 June 2014 12:01 (nine years ago) link
Secret Service urgently seeks sarcasm-detecting software
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 4 June 2014 21:37 (nine years ago) link
http://s.mlkshk.com/r/ZAOP
― Dan I., Saturday, 7 June 2014 05:34 (nine years ago) link
this could go in a few threads (facebook for one) but here seems fine:http://www.newrepublic.com/article/118013/satire-news-websites-are-cashing-gullible-outraged-readers
― Look at this joke I've recognised, do you recognise it as well? (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 7 June 2014 05:52 (nine years ago) link
http://seattle.cbslocal.com/2014/06/09/doctor-accused-of-sexting-during-surgery/
― write 500 words of song (sleepingbag), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 21:25 (nine years ago) link
I give you all a fucking PRIME candidate here:
http://www.philly.com/philly/living/20140611_More_young_men_friends_embracing__and_it_s_in_no_way_gay_.html
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 June 2014 01:35 (nine years ago) link
omg this sentence so good: "Pasko, it turns out, has wrapped his arms around a long-term trend: In a broad range of social settings, more men are embracing, well, embracing."
― Mordy, Thursday, 12 June 2014 01:37 (nine years ago) link
faux social science and puns: i "hold" both "dear to my heart" (hugging)
― mattresslessness, Thursday, 12 June 2014 03:27 (nine years ago) link
I don't get how that article can be read as "Onion style"? It depicts a genuine phenomenon (physical closeness becoming more popular among male friends and acquaintances) deeply rooted in social changes (the loosening of male gender norms, decrease homophobia), which is explained in the article. I don't see how it's supposed to be funny or something?
― Tuomas, Thursday, 12 June 2014 11:50 (nine years ago) link
McCormack said several types of gateway hugs are facilitating the shift.
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, 12 June 2014 13:56 (nine years ago) link
didn't we lol at an article in the NYT or something a while back, that was essentially the same as this one
― Kiss Screaming Seagull Her Seagull Her (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 12 June 2014 13:58 (nine years ago) link
this feels like a clickhole listicle
http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/13/us/irpt-flag-day/index.html?c=us
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Saturday, 14 June 2014 15:32 (nine years ago) link
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Saturday, 14 June 2014 15:36 (nine years ago) link
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/in-the-loop/wp/2014/06/14/ambassador-donates-historic-e-reader-to-swiss-museum/?tid=recommended_strip_2
― cardamon, Sunday, 15 June 2014 19:43 (nine years ago) link
The Lack of Major Wars May Be Hurting Economic Growth (NYT)
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Sunday, 15 June 2014 19:48 (nine years ago) link
tyler cowen but curious to read that since the argument apparently isn't 'cuz keynes'
― balls, Sunday, 15 June 2014 20:24 (nine years ago) link
Match.com Will Use Facial Recognition to Find People Like Your Ex
― silverfish, Monday, 16 June 2014 20:45 (nine years ago) link
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/06/18/its-come-to-this-fox-news-brings-on-nfls-terry-bradshaw-for-benghazi-analysis/
― Incident At Spanish Harlem (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 19 June 2014 01:42 (nine years ago) link
Florida doomsday prepper plans bloody last stand until cops lure him in with burgers
― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Thursday, 19 June 2014 18:52 (nine years ago) link
Leading scientist ejected by audience after 'trying to crowd surf' at classical music concert
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Friday, 20 June 2014 16:13 (nine years ago) link
SAN FRANCISCO - A handsome mug shot of a Northern California man arrested on felony weapons charges has gone viral on social media, attracting more than 33,000 "likes" and drawing comments praising his high cheek bones, chiseled face and striking blue eyes.
https://ca.news.yahoo.com/mug-shot-california-suspect-gets-30-000-facebook-034346359.html
― dinnerboat, Friday, 20 June 2014 17:27 (nine years ago) link
Casual Sex Is Actually Excellent for You, If You Love Casual Sex
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Saturday, 21 June 2014 00:51 (nine years ago) link
getting pretty close to a tipping point where the onion influences media more than it mocks it
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Saturday, 21 June 2014 00:56 (nine years ago) link
Author Jeanette Winterson eats rabbit that ate her parsley, feeds entrails to cat
― Dan I., Saturday, 21 June 2014 14:19 (nine years ago) link
http://dangerousminds.net/comments/young_man_gets_stuck_in_giant_vagina_22_firefighters_come_to_his_rescue
― Incident At Spanish Harlem (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 23 June 2014 17:39 (nine years ago) link
― balls, Thursday, April 24, 2014 10:20 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Kiss Screaming Seagull Her Seagull Her (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 10:58 (nine years ago) link
I don't recommend clicking through and increasing her "readership", but:
Coulter: Any growing interest in soccer a sign of nation's moral decay
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Friday, 27 June 2014 02:50 (nine years ago) link
GOP Hopeful: My Public Masturbation Fetish and Felonies Were Bad Ideas
― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Friday, 27 June 2014 16:12 (nine years ago) link
"The three values that make up my stool of conservatism are faith, family and freedom," he says. "And I believe that many of the citizens of Saginaw share those same values."
Guy's a scat fetishist too
― 龜, Friday, 27 June 2014 16:18 (nine years ago) link
http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/benjamin-franklin-goes-to-transformers-a-thought-experiment/
― Look at this joke I've recognised, do you recognise it as well? (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 28 June 2014 15:22 (nine years ago) link
Claire L. Evans (@TheUniverse) is the Futures editor of Motherboard and one-half of the conceptual pop group YACHT.
― poop will eat itself (S-), Monday, 30 June 2014 05:35 (nine years ago) link
I really don't see that appearing as an Onion headline
― Nhex, Monday, 30 June 2014 06:59 (nine years ago) link
― Kiss Screaming Seagull Her Seagull Her (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, June 24, 2014 6:58 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Suddenly I'm picturing a middle-aged lady telling an anecdote to her friend: "Oh my gawd, I mean it was like something out of an ONION ARTICLE, can you believe it?"
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 30 June 2014 10:41 (nine years ago) link
https://medium.com/@manicho/how-a-password-changed-my-life-7af5d5f28038
― Barry Gordy (Neil S), Wednesday, 2 July 2014 16:20 (nine years ago) link
... no
― Nhex, Wednesday, 2 July 2014 16:35 (nine years ago) link
was looking for that thread about the guy who tried to teach the homeless man to code, couldn't find it, this seemed like as good a bet as any
― Barry Gordy (Neil S), Wednesday, 2 July 2014 16:36 (nine years ago) link
http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/02/brazil-fan-farts-on-neymars-girlfriend-bruna-marquezine-she-doesnt-like-it-4784122/
― gbx, Wednesday, 2 July 2014 18:48 (nine years ago) link
Every Metro headline could be an Onion headline, except the Onion ones aren't actually this fucking stupid:
One-armed cyclist fined for riding with only one hand
Rare condition leaves singer smelling of rotting fish
My own tears could kill me: Meet the woman allergic to WATER
Cheeky Domino's staff spotted buying 59p wedges from Aldi
Wow! Van Persie has got outrageous beach tennis skills
Is this 100mph jacuzzi the coolest thing in the world?
The 13 things that will definitely happen on a dog walk
Has Bigfoot’s real identity been revealed?
― poop will eat itself (S-), Thursday, 3 July 2014 02:56 (nine years ago) link
None of those sound like Onion headlines at all.
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Thursday, 3 July 2014 13:51 (nine years ago) link
Jesus have you guys ever actually read the fucking Onion?
― Matt DC, Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:05 (nine years ago) link
^^^
― socki (s1ocki), Thursday, 3 July 2014 15:32 (nine years ago) link
this isnt shit that looks like daily currant headlines
People Prefer Electric Shocks to Being Alone With Their Thoughts
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Friday, 4 July 2014 01:38 (nine years ago) link
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/west-view-news-headline-james-lincoln-collier-headline-n-word
http://a5.img.talkingpointsmemo.com/image/upload/w_652/tqhdxqrxabvxt93flulv.jpg
i think the onion would phrase the point-counterpoint better (like, say WHICH headline offends the counterpointer), but the fact that this is even a point-counterpoint is just...
― da croupier, Monday, 7 July 2014 18:04 (nine years ago) link
wow
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 7 July 2014 18:13 (nine years ago) link
yeah that one qualifies
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 7 July 2014 18:36 (nine years ago) link
correct
― Nhex, Monday, 7 July 2014 18:49 (nine years ago) link
There should be a third column by Collier named There Was Supposed To Be Quotation Mark Whose Editing This
― da croupier, Monday, 7 July 2014 19:21 (nine years ago) link
i had heard of the article, but had no idea about the counterpoint article. dying at this.
― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Wednesday, 16 July 2014 18:39 (nine years ago) link
George Harrison Memorial Tree Killed by Beetles
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 22 July 2014 06:09 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theparisreview.org/the-art-of-fiction-no-223-cormac-mccarthy
― Roz, Tuesday, 22 July 2014 06:51 (nine years ago) link
lol nvm disregard that one, didn't realise it was an April Fool's thing. pretty good though!
― Roz, Tuesday, 22 July 2014 06:54 (nine years ago) link
NME report on the George Harrison thing calls him (until they edit it) "the late bass player in the Beatles" if you want an extra Jackie Harvey dimension
― Kiss Screaming Seagull Her Seagull Her (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 22 July 2014 13:45 (nine years ago) link
http://www.timesofisrael.com/dermer-idf-deserves-nobel-peace-prize-for-unimaginable-restraint/
― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:19 (nine years ago) link
tbf considering some of the other ppl they've given the nobel peace prize to it would fit their MO
― Mordy, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:24 (nine years ago) link
Ha, fair point
― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:25 (nine years ago) link
https://news.vice.com/article/new-york-passes-bill-that-could-limit-selfies-with-tigers
― Evan, Thursday, 24 July 2014 18:09 (nine years ago) link
ok, i'm gonna give that one a narrow pass
― Nhex, Thursday, 24 July 2014 18:19 (nine years ago) link
score
― Evan, Thursday, 24 July 2014 18:26 (nine years ago) link
http://vegnews.com/articles/page.do?pageId=6510&catId=1
http://i.imgur.com/OaSEeeQ.png
― 龜, Monday, 28 July 2014 01:49 (nine years ago) link
Ok this one is undeniable
http://www.timesofisrael.com/owl-hurt-by-hamas-fire-recovering/
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 28 July 2014 02:30 (nine years ago) link
― EveningStar (Sund4r), Monday, 28 July 2014 02:34 (nine years ago) link
― Nhex, Monday, 28 July 2014 02:49 (nine years ago) link
those jerks at Hamas High thought they could mess with our mascot and get away with it?
― chikungunya manatee (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 28 July 2014 03:06 (nine years ago) link
Enough is Enough – Association of Nigerian Witches & Wizards Declare War on Boko Haram
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Monday, 28 July 2014 04:22 (nine years ago) link
Take it over to the rolling sf thread.
― Two Ten O'clocks Clash (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 28 July 2014 04:23 (nine years ago) link
BREAKING: Dollar Tree to buy Family Dollar in deal worth about $9B to create dollar-store giant
http://bigstory.ap.org/article/dollar-tree-buying-family-dollar-85-billion
― some dude, Monday, 28 July 2014 10:37 (nine years ago) link
http://blog.sfgate.com/stew/2014/07/29/apparently-the-bay-area-has-some-of-the-snobbiest-cities/
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 18:09 (nine years ago) link
http://www.haaretz.com/mobile/.premium-1.607888?v=2E5EDB2B54F99F4D315F0539F0B55ABE
Israeli university rebukes professor who expressed sympathy for both Israeli, Gazan victims'The matter will be handled with appropriate seriousness,’ says 'shocked’ Bar-Ilan University dean after students, parents complain.
'The matter will be handled with appropriate seriousness,’ says 'shocked’ Bar-Ilan University dean after students, parents complain.
tbh it's more like "shit that looks like a Borowitz article" but still
― anonanon, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 20:02 (nine years ago) link
UKIP candidate for Wells Jake Baynes resigns: claims Glastonbury occult infiltrated party
http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/UKIP-candidate-Wells-Jake-Baynes-resigns-claims/story-22013433-detail/story.html
― sʌxihɔːl (Ward Fowler), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 17:45 (nine years ago) link
http://www.haaretz.com/mobile/.premium-1.607888?v=2E5EDB2B54F99F4D315F0539F0B55ABE_Israeli university rebukes professor who expressed sympathy for both Israeli, Gazan victims'The matter will be handled with appropriate seriousness,’ says 'shocked’ Bar-Ilan University dean after students, parents complain._tbh it's more like "shit that looks like a Borowitz article" but still
_Israeli university rebukes professor who expressed sympathy for both Israeli, Gazan victims
'The matter will be handled with appropriate seriousness,’ says 'shocked’ Bar-Ilan University dean after students, parents complain._
this is astounding tbh
― gbx, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 18:27 (nine years ago) link
OMG, part two of the owl saga is equally onionesque:
http://www.haaretz.com/life/nature-environment/1.607076?fb_action_ids=10154442935040584&fb_action_types=og.recommends
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Friday, 1 August 2014 21:23 (nine years ago) link
His attempt to savage the medical team is a heartening sign.
― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 1 August 2014 21:43 (nine years ago) link
et tu, hoote?
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Friday, 1 August 2014 22:08 (nine years ago) link
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2014/08/01/obama-news-conference-budget-israel-palestine-russia-ukraine/13470133/
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Friday, 1 August 2014 23:48 (nine years ago) link
Obama: 'We tortured some folks'
Obama has condemned those techniques as torture before, but his administration has not sought prosecution of possible offenders. The president said Friday that people should remember all the pressure put on national security teams after 9/11, and "it's important for us not to feel too sanctimonious in retrospect about the tough job that those folks had."
― Mordy, Saturday, 2 August 2014 00:36 (nine years ago) link
dying from that second owl article...
If it really were the onion the body of the article would further tip back and forth between describing the increasingly encouraging improvement of the owl entirely based on how much more gruesome the attacks get day by day.
― Evan, Saturday, 2 August 2014 01:23 (nine years ago) link
Garbage Truck Named After Author David Sedaris
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Saturday, 2 August 2014 16:29 (nine years ago) link
I'm not ruling out the possibility that Time.com is an Onion-style website at this point
― some dude, Saturday, 2 August 2014 16:46 (nine years ago) link
yeah the original little english newspaper story about it was all over my feed for days, they followed it up a couple of days later w/ a 'so that guy who picks up the garbage is famous in america' story.
― balls, Saturday, 2 August 2014 16:50 (nine years ago) link
that's pretty funny
― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 2 August 2014 23:03 (nine years ago) link
where's that article about sub-Onion fake news sites?
― kinder, Sunday, 3 August 2014 09:32 (nine years ago) link
Apparently this is real :-/
http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/does-this-war-make-me-look-fat/
― Barry Gordy (Neil S), Monday, 4 August 2014 08:04 (nine years ago) link
GRARRRRRRGH!
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 4 August 2014 14:29 (nine years ago) link
Just FYI, "Times of Israel" is apparently not an Israeli newspaper, it's just a blog site.
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 4 August 2014 14:31 (nine years ago) link
?? wikipedia says its headquarters is in Jerusalem
― een, Monday, 4 August 2014 14:59 (nine years ago) link
oh duh you mean blog vs. newspaper
― een, Monday, 4 August 2014 15:00 (nine years ago) link
hah okay if it's just a blog then that's not quite so egregious, but even so...
― Barry Gordy (Neil S), Monday, 4 August 2014 15:06 (nine years ago) link
I guess anyway it's a relatively new site? Wiki claims 2 million readers so maybe it's bigger than I thought. I think it's sort of a Huffington Post style site.
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 4 August 2014 15:09 (nine years ago) link
I mean, whatever it is, that's the third time this week I have seen something just mind-bogglingly offensive and un-self-aware on the site, this one being by far the least egregious.
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 4 August 2014 15:10 (nine years ago) link
wow if that article is the least bad, I dread to think what other stuff it's coming up with
― Barry Gordy (Neil S), Monday, 4 August 2014 15:15 (nine years ago) link
They republished (but almost immediately took down) a piece from a small long island jewish paper posing the "question" of genocide in Gaza. Then another piece appeared in which a blogger likened the Palestinians to the Amalekites (which can be read based on the bible as a coded way of saying they should be wiped out).
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 4 August 2014 15:19 (nine years ago) link
http://wonkwire.rollcall.com/2014/08/05/nra-defends-rights-blind-people-guns/
― anonanon, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 15:59 (nine years ago) link
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/02/11/world/middleeast/suicide-bomb-instructor-accidentally-kills-iraqi-pupils.html
― Mordy, Friday, 8 August 2014 01:33 (nine years ago) link
literally dying
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Friday, 8 August 2014 03:13 (nine years ago) link
Runner uses Nike+ app to draw penises
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Friday, 8 August 2014 19:43 (nine years ago) link
Deceased Steve Jobs sued by own shareholders
This is really a headline-only one.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 14 August 2014 13:14 (nine years ago) link
Idaho’s Constitution Party was OK with gay governor candidate until he supported gays
― Welcome to my spooooooky carnival! Hope I don't... blow your mind! (Phil D.), Thursday, 14 August 2014 14:54 (nine years ago) link
Obama's 'vacation from hell'
― when i die, show no pity. send my soul to juggalo city (art), Friday, 15 August 2014 03:58 (nine years ago) link
related & hilarious & terrible:
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/facebook-to-flag-satirical-articles-to-stop-users-falling-for-the-onions-jokes-9674483.html
― when i die, show no pity. send my soul to juggalo city (art), Sunday, 17 August 2014 17:27 (nine years ago) link
that's basically the only good thing left about facebook
― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 17 August 2014 19:31 (nine years ago) link
onion's response is great http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-facebook-user-incredibly-stupid,36712/
― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Monday, 18 August 2014 17:31 (nine years ago) link
http://nypost.com/2014/08/18/enough-sanctimony-ladies-catcalls-are-flattering/
― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Tuesday, 19 August 2014 17:31 (nine years ago) link
http://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/080814-catcalling-doree-pulse-as571.jpgso not gonna happen
― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 19 August 2014 17:55 (nine years ago) link
http://www.salon.com/2014/08/20/co_founder_of_als_ice_bucket_challenge_drowns_at_age_27
― Mordy, Thursday, 21 August 2014 00:58 (nine years ago) link
no, that's just sad
― micah, Thursday, 21 August 2014 02:45 (nine years ago) link
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/08/21/elementary-teacher-suspended-for-asking-white-student-cops-to-shoot-black-michael-browns/
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 21 August 2014 15:29 (nine years ago) link
Kid kills a dinosaur in a story, gets arrested: http://www.nbc12.com/story/26319685/cops-summerville-high-school-student-arrested-after-writing-threatening-message-on-assignment
― StanM, Thursday, 21 August 2014 16:57 (nine years ago) link
I mean first of all, we don't have dinosaurs anymore.
I love this woman
― ogmor, Thursday, 21 August 2014 23:27 (nine years ago) link
This thing, I swear:
http://m.sfgate.com/opinion/openforum/article/Techies-riding-Silicon-Valley-shuttles-are-not-5704848.php
'So seniors, disabled folks and outraged citizens - please stand back, stop protesting those tech shuttles, and set them free. My son has a dream to get to: the American Dream.'Susan Ahern of Richmond, Va., is the mother of a computer engineer who lives in San Francisco and works in Silicon Valley.
Susan Ahern of Richmond, Va., is the mother of a computer engineer who lives in San Francisco and works in Silicon Valley.
― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 23 August 2014 16:11 (nine years ago) link
that kid's either really embarrassed or really troubled
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 23 August 2014 18:07 (nine years ago) link
How the Irish Got Jobs at Google
― een, Saturday, 23 August 2014 18:58 (nine years ago) link
From the headline, I actually thought this *was* an Onion piece:
http://www.salon.com/2014/08/21/college_dudes_worried_that_movement_to_take_rape_seriously_is_ruining_their_sex_lives/
― dinnerboat, Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:44 (nine years ago) link
incredible strawman of a headline
― een, Thursday, 28 August 2014 19:47 (nine years ago) link
best/most onionlike part of that article is the stock photo
― the dickering of salm on race (Treeship), Thursday, 28 August 2014 20:01 (nine years ago) link
http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/286756/286756,1316643581,1/stock-photo-flatmates-enjoying-a-beer-together-85129009.jpg
― the dickering of salm on race (Treeship), Thursday, 28 August 2014 20:02 (nine years ago) link
make a few bucks posing for some stock photos why not, what's the worst that could happen
― Merdeyeux, Thursday, 28 August 2014 20:04 (nine years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/LyPP6KP.png
― the late great, Friday, 29 August 2014 05:28 (nine years ago) link
http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/28/us/isis-fort-hood-shooter/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
kinda LOL but mostly sad
― the late great, Friday, 29 August 2014 05:29 (nine years ago) link
h*ll fr*cking no
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 29 August 2014 05:37 (nine years ago) link
the NRA tweet is the kicker lmao
― een, Friday, 29 August 2014 17:46 (nine years ago) link
http://pitchfork.com/thepitch/234-sun-kil-moon-benji-glossary/
Though the musical components of Sun Kil Moon’s Benji rarely amount to more than Mark Kozelek’s voice and acoustic guitar, its lyrical universe is incomparably vast, spanning countries and decades, populated by dead relatives, high school friends, indie-rock peers, serial killers, and corporate-franchised eateries alike. Like the catalog of samples heard on the Beastie Boys’ Paul’s Boutique, the production credits on Yeezus, or the movie-credits-length list of people who’ve played in the Fall, a supplementary directory of references is required to fully appreciate its magnitude.
Mark Kozelek’s mom: She’s 75, and the closest friend Kozelek has.Scrabble: A classic board game that Mark Kozelek likes to play with his mom.
Domino’s: The preferred pizza provider for Kozelek and his cousins when staying over at his aunt and uncle’s.Happy Days: Comedy series created by Garry Marshall that aired on ABC from 1974-84. A favorite among the Kozelek clan.
KFC: a.k.a. Kentucky Fried Chicken—the fast food of choice served at the funeral for Kozelek’s uncle (“and that’s how he would’ve wanted it”).
The Doors: L.A. classic-rock icons who can be found in Jim Wise’s record collection.Stevie Nicks: Ditto.
Maybe Clickhole rather than Onion proper here.
― Matt DC, Sunday, 31 August 2014 15:23 (nine years ago) link
the mind bogglesBoggle: a classic board game that Mark Kozelek likes to play with your mom
― the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 31 August 2014 15:43 (nine years ago) link
What an amazing insight into Mark Kozelek's shitty taste.
― poop will eat itself (S-), Monday, 1 September 2014 03:50 (nine years ago) link
What is a blue crabcakes? Somebody help!
― post...aftermath (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 1 September 2014 13:43 (nine years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BwvlwO0IgAEbq0j.png
― mookieproof, Friday, 5 September 2014 20:07 (nine years ago) link
thats a fucking classic
― Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Friday, 5 September 2014 20:27 (nine years ago) link
Helen Mirren: 'Why didn't hackers try find naked selfies of me?'
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Monday, 8 September 2014 16:30 (nine years ago) link
http://bigstory.ap.org/article/investor-picks-breadstick-battle-olive-garden
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 12 September 2014 15:17 (nine years ago) link
http://www.freep.com/article/20140915/NEWS05/309150017/-Tea-party-Satanist-bristles-over-Detroit-temple-s-left-leaning-ways
― joygoat, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 16:11 (nine years ago) link
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/cable-firm-boss-blames-the-rain-for-increase-in-pavement-blasts-in-london-9734894.html
― koogs, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 17:05 (nine years ago) link
^ truly frightening
― hug niceman (psychgawsple), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 19:15 (nine years ago) link
Probably still safer than Beijing sidewalks.
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 19:34 (nine years ago) link
http://www.npr.org/blogs/deceptivecadence/2014/09/16/348986742/watch-a-sweet-little-butterfly-nearly-crush-a-womans-hopes-and-dreams
more clickhole than onion
― anonanon, Wednesday, 17 September 2014 16:49 (nine years ago) link
http://nypost.com/2014/09/22/the-living-hell-of-the-man-who-orgasms-100-times-a-day/
― 龜, Tuesday, 23 September 2014 01:55 (nine years ago) link
dear god the picture too
― Ѿ (imago), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 01:58 (nine years ago) link
Those photos...
― Jeff, Tuesday, 23 September 2014 01:59 (nine years ago) link
in fact all the pictures, especially the last one
― Ѿ (imago), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 02:00 (nine years ago) link
isn't the ny post highly dubious tho, like I know all papers are but some more so. has a daily sport ring to it, this
― Ѿ (imago), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 02:01 (nine years ago) link
“Imagine being on your knees at your father’s funeral beside his casket, saying goodbye to him — and then you have nine orgasms right there,” he said. “While your whole family is standing behind you.”
― gbx, Tuesday, 23 September 2014 02:53 (nine years ago) link
okay
― the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 03:40 (nine years ago) link
the Sun ran a story a while back abt a woman w/ the same disorder which was a series of gross misrepresentations implicitly inviting the audience to laugh at her predicament ("film at 11" etc). daresay this is along much the same lines
― well-behaved wingmen really hate Mystery (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 07:26 (nine years ago) link
from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2769462/Is-really-Un-Fears-health-North-Korean-dictator-weeks-without-public-appearance.html:
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y169/eatmorefish/emmental_zpse2d3711d.png
― Larminard Darzingargle (silverfish), Monday, 29 September 2014 04:06 (nine years ago) link
tbf north korea kinda looks like an onion article but isn't
― the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Monday, 29 September 2014 04:17 (nine years ago) link
http://www.salon.com/2014/09/29/my_boyfriend_lives_in_a_dumpster/
*Shakes head* White ppl
― 龜, Monday, 29 September 2014 23:45 (nine years ago) link
we prefer "melanin challenged"
― the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Monday, 29 September 2014 23:53 (nine years ago) link
Misread 'every now and then a student takes a shift in the dumpster'
― ljubljana, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 00:39 (nine years ago) link
Caffeine-infused underwear not a weight loss aid, US regulators say
― TTAGGGTTAGGG (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 22:21 (nine years ago) link
"Taliban make horrible Twitter gaffe"
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/secretly-located-taliban-official-denies-revealing-whereabouts-after-twitter-gaffe-tags-him-in-pakistan-9775316.html
― some dude, Sunday, 5 October 2014 11:46 (nine years ago) link
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/oregon-man-robbed-of-new-gun-by-armed-man
http://i.imgur.com/wc4jOUJ.png
― 龜, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 16:14 (nine years ago) link
if only there were a good guy with a gun there to prevent the robbery.
― wmlynch, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 18:33 (nine years ago) link
Fracking company teams up with Susan G. Komen, introduces pink drill bits “for the cure”
http://media.salon.com/2014/10/10-620x350.jpg
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 19:06 (nine years ago) link
a Komen spokeswoman said that the partnership “grew from Baker Hughes’ involvement in our Houston Race for the Cure” and that “the issue is personal to them and their employees,” adding that “the evidence to this point does not establish a connection between fracking and breast cancer.”
― een, Thursday, 9 October 2014 04:35 (nine years ago) link
http://theweek.com/article/index/269570/why-the-rise-of-cosplay-is-a-bad-sign-for-the-us-economy
― goole, Thursday, 9 October 2014 18:09 (nine years ago) link
LOL
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 9 October 2014 18:12 (nine years ago) link
Many of the 130,000 people who attend the San Diego Comic Con every year invest big bucks in elaborate outfits as a way of showing off their favorite Japanese characters, as well as those from American superhero movies, comics, and "genre" televisions shows such as Game of Thrones.
-- WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE QUOTE MARKS IN THIS SENTENCE? - Ed.
― bippity bup at the hotel california (Phil D.), Thursday, 9 October 2014 18:23 (nine years ago) link
oh that's great
― gbx, Thursday, 9 October 2014 18:26 (nine years ago) link
When you're disillusioned with the reality of your early adult life, dressing up like Doctor Who starts looking better and better.
― ogmor, Thursday, 9 October 2014 18:42 (nine years ago) link
i wish that was actually a serious indictment of cosplay rather than an article about millennials+economy everyone's read a million times already but with an arbitrary clickbait title
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 9 October 2014 18:54 (nine years ago) link
"Ernie Hudson Thinks All-Female Ghostbusters Is A Bad Idea"
― who cares? the moon sucks. (The Yellow Kid), Thursday, 9 October 2014 20:34 (nine years ago) link
dude didn't have the balls to make it a serious indictment of cosplayi just spent the day at NYComicCon; cosplay in mass groups is great fun as long as nobody tries to make me do it.
― the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 9 October 2014 22:48 (nine years ago) link
cosplay is too expensive manbut i still appreciate others putting in the effort
― Nhex, Friday, 10 October 2014 02:21 (nine years ago) link
different thread for this really buthttp://www.adafruit.com/blog/2014/06/25/prince-robot-vi-cosplay-from-saga-with-working-tv-head/
― the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Friday, 10 October 2014 02:57 (nine years ago) link
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/10/21/compliments-are-nice-but-enough-with-the-cormac-mccarthy-comparisons.html
― anonanon, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 20:06 (nine years ago) link
http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/887300.shtml
Context: Global Times is the official English-language mouthpiece of the Chinese Communist Party
After listening to "Edge of Revolution," a new song by the Candian band Nickelback, one can easily understand how clever the West is in expressing and propagating its views. In this song, a new generation, especially teenagers, are seduced into agitating against the state. But unfortunately this agitation is called "revolution." This song was released by the same Western media which emphasizes the promotion of democratic values and traditions and teaches us the lessons of democracy. Is it possible that a media that trusts in democracy can bring about change by agitation and revolution?
In this song, a new generation, especially teenagers, are seduced into agitating against the state. But unfortunately this agitation is called "revolution."
This song was released by the same Western media which emphasizes the promotion of democratic values and traditions and teaches us the lessons of democracy. Is it possible that a media that trusts in democracy can bring about change by agitation and revolution?
― 龜, Sunday, 26 October 2014 12:27 (nine years ago) link
I guess that means they're on team Avril, then?
― StanM, Sunday, 26 October 2014 12:50 (nine years ago) link
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/11187063/Professor-suspended-from-top-university-for-giving-off-negative-vibes.html
― the tune was space, Sunday, 26 October 2014 16:05 (nine years ago) link
*sigh*
― StanM, Sunday, 26 October 2014 16:12 (nine years ago) link
*appropriate sigh*
― jmm, Sunday, 26 October 2014 16:18 (nine years ago) link
http://abc7.com/news/lax-flight-delayed-after-wifi-hotspot-name-prompts-concerns/367110/
― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Monday, 27 October 2014 15:06 (nine years ago) link
that mccarthy article tho
― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Monday, 27 October 2014 15:09 (nine years ago) link
yeah that whole thing was one long o_O
― Vomits of a Missionary (bernard snowy), Monday, 27 October 2014 15:59 (nine years ago) link
The last time I called Time Warner with internet problems, the nice woman on the other end asked me if I wanted to change my wi-fi network name to "trick my neighbors" e.g. with something like "FBI surveillance network"
above and beyond, their customer service
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 27 October 2014 16:41 (nine years ago) link
TBF if I were a TWC service rep I would say shit like that too and wait to see how long it took my supervisors to catch on
― 龜, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:02 (nine years ago) link
xp lol seriously? that is awful
― Nhex, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:57 (nine years ago) link
Now I wish I called it Flowers By Irene
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 27 October 2014 18:06 (nine years ago) link
that McCarthy article was so insanely ill-advised
the title and also its general vibe of mind-numbing obliviousness reminded me of:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock,10861/
― anonanon, Tuesday, 28 October 2014 06:24 (nine years ago) link
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/11/01/washington-http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG-file-lawsuit-against-native-americans-suggesting-team-name-offensive/
oh this world
― I Love Makonnen: New Answers (The Reverend), Tuesday, 4 November 2014 00:40 (nine years ago) link
ok lol
obv this is just intimidation, there is no way they would let something like this get to court. is there really no mechanism in place to discourage bullying lawsuits like this?
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 4 November 2014 02:08 (nine years ago) link
hatcat is in federal court appealing a patent court's decision that abrogated the hatcat trademark. the federal court hasn't actually taken the case yet, they can still dismiss it, that's what they're arguing about now.
― een, Tuesday, 4 November 2014 02:26 (nine years ago) link
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2014/11/6/7169567/vintage-dale-earnhardt-photo-70s-jungle-suite
Worthy Headline: Vintage Dale Earnhardt photo proves the 70s were the sexiest decade
― Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 7 November 2014 07:14 (nine years ago) link
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/ku-klux-klan-opens-its-doors-hispanic-blacks-jews-gays-1473907
― sarahell, Sunday, 9 November 2014 23:14 (nine years ago) link
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2014/11/12/3591527/there-is-now-a-coloring-book-for-children-called-ted-cruz-saves-america/
― Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 12 November 2014 22:24 (nine years ago) link
http://o.onionstatic.com/images/10/10446/3x4/120.hq.jpg
http://thoughtcatalog.com/mahbod-moghadam/2014/11/how-to-steal-from-whole-foods/
― a total laugh package (s.clover), Sunday, 16 November 2014 21:04 (nine years ago) link
It would be so much easier just to shop at a grocery that doesn't double the price of everything.
― abanana, Sunday, 16 November 2014 23:14 (nine years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B2wm8p3IAAAT4Sr.jpg
― Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 02:12 (nine years ago) link
i imagine a million typhoid mary comps have already been made
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 02:24 (nine years ago) link
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-11-19/whale-removal-cost-row-deepens/5903576
― StanM, Thursday, 20 November 2014 03:52 (nine years ago) link
http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2014/11/26/whales-arent-keen-on-being-flayed-alive-by-gulls
― Philip Nunez, Thursday, 27 November 2014 00:53 (nine years ago) link
I keep seeing headlines about NASA's new Onion capsule launch :-(
― StanM, Sunday, 7 December 2014 06:39 (nine years ago) link
Same here!
― ljubljana, Sunday, 7 December 2014 07:12 (nine years ago) link
http://variety.com/2014/film/news/lars-von-trier-doesnt-know-if-he-can-make-more-films-now-that-hes-quitting-drinking-1201366846/
― Josefa, Sunday, 7 December 2014 08:14 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/12/experience-i-regret-my-face-tattoo
― Eine Feine (soref), Friday, 12 December 2014 20:07 (nine years ago) link
I feel sorry for that guy, but the combination of headline and photo makes me think guardian is going for onion-esque on purpose there
― Eine Feine (soref), Friday, 12 December 2014 20:11 (nine years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/wAkDmW0.jpg
― micah, Friday, 12 December 2014 21:35 (nine years ago) link
feast your eyes, future people
― goole, Friday, 12 December 2014 21:36 (nine years ago) link
I had my facial tattoo a couple of years ago. The design is based on the ex-boxer Mike Tyson’s. I don’t actually like him that much – he’s not someone I look up to – but I decided it would be cool to have something on my face, and then saw his picture and thought his tattoo looked really good.
― a stupid red mute juggalo (forksclovetofu), Friday, 12 December 2014 23:33 (nine years ago) link
http://www.fastcodesign.com/3039668/hallmark-apologizes-for-selling-hanukkah-paper-covered-in-swastikas
― a stupid red mute juggalo (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 13 December 2014 03:06 (nine years ago) link
but I decided it would be cool to have something on my face
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 13 December 2014 03:37 (nine years ago) link
Something directly copied from someone I don't like or respect
― Josefa, Saturday, 13 December 2014 06:08 (nine years ago) link
shit that looks like a clickhole article but isn't:http://mic.com/articles/106974/we-asked-men-to-draw-vaginas-to-prove-an-important-point
― man alive, Tuesday, 23 December 2014 22:04 (nine years ago) link
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/08/kareem-abdul-jabbar-to-publish-a-novel-about-sherlock-holmess-brother-mycroft/
― Øystein, Friday, 9 January 2015 00:47 (nine years ago) link
The mobile nytimes is a harsh mistress
― Zings of Oblivion (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 9 January 2015 01:43 (nine years ago) link
KAJ's entire post-basketball career has just been people being surprised he has interests and talents besides basketball
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 9 January 2015 03:23 (nine years ago) link
This one quote felt so Onion-esque
"You know what it feels like when you don't have a good internet connection. Everything is buffering, you're trying to download a video, you got that little circle thing that goes round and around. It's really aggravating," Obama said.
http://www.theverge.com/2015/1/13/7541253/obama-wants-cheaper-broadband-in-the-us
― The Understated Twee Hotel On A Mountain (silby), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 03:03 (nine years ago) link
Holy shit you guys dont seriously average 100+mbps in youtr contry and complain its SLOW, do you?
How about 1mbs? Or dialup/satellite speed? #fuckin3rdworlddesert
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 03:20 (nine years ago) link
we invented the internet goddamnit, no one should be faster than US
― Nhex, Wednesday, 14 January 2015 04:08 (nine years ago) link
lol as if that happens in the white house, xp
"Michelle, did you call Comcast?!"
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 04:13 (nine years ago) link
I don't think we average 100mbps, fwiw. I pay extra for like 30mbps.
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 04:14 (nine years ago) link
Yeah I was thinking it seemed a bit OTT
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 04:17 (nine years ago) link
I've got 100Mbps FTTP in my apartment from a local ISP but they're doing like line-of-sight microwave to the Westin or something so it's kind of cheating, infrastructure-wise
― The Understated Twee Hotel On A Mountain (silby), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 04:58 (nine years ago) link
Say no more!
"Testimony has covered everything from the assassinations of drug lords to the inner workings of the motorsport industry."
http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nascar/2015/01/13/kurt-busch-ex-girlfriend-assassin-domestic-abuse/21693523/
― earlnash, Wednesday, 14 January 2015 08:03 (nine years ago) link
Florida cops used black mugshots as target practice
http://news.sky.com/story/1409452/cops-used-black-mugshots-as-target-practice
― Alba, Friday, 16 January 2015 18:56 (nine years ago) link
http://whnt.com/2015/01/12/alice-program-arms-children-with-cans-books-to-fight-off-classroom-intruders/
wtf
― k3vin k., Sunday, 18 January 2015 17:34 (nine years ago) link
YOU MAY LIKEMORE FROM US - Man rescued from burning house, taken to hospital
MORE FROM US
- Man rescued from burning house, taken to hospital
― écorché (S-), Sunday, 18 January 2015 17:48 (nine years ago) link
xp omg the stupidity
― Nhex, Sunday, 18 January 2015 22:19 (nine years ago) link
not onion per se but... something
"The Sundays Reveal Plans For New Music In Rare Interview With American Airlines’ Inflight Magazine"
http://www.stereogum.com/1677331/the-sundays-reveal-plans-for-new-music-in-rare-interview-with-american-airlines-inflight-magazine/news/
― Jennifer 8.-( (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, 19 January 2015 05:55 (nine years ago) link
Five-year-old misses friend's birthday party and gets invoice for £15.95
― rad naps (+ +), Tuesday, 20 January 2015 17:36 (nine years ago) link
― Jennifer 8.-( (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, January 19, 2015 12:55 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
It's kind of Spinal Tap
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Tuesday, 20 January 2015 17:37 (nine years ago) link
it really is!
― Jennifer 8.-( (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, 20 January 2015 19:51 (nine years ago) link
Rapist blames ankle monitor for low self-esteem and social phobia
― excreting zeitgeist (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 20 January 2015 20:34 (nine years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B71AywxCEAAP2R4.png
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 20 January 2015 23:06 (nine years ago) link
http://pitchfork.com/news/58191-bob-dylan-giving-new-album-away-to-50000-aarp-magazine-subscribers/
― Jennifer 8.-( (Stevie D(eux)), Friday, 23 January 2015 19:25 (nine years ago) link
Shit that looks like a Clickhole article, but isn'thttp://www.vocativ.com/gallery/culture/photos/isis-japan-hostage-manga/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=japan&utm_campaign=jan1
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Friday, 23 January 2015 19:55 (nine years ago) link
McDonald's to Accept Selfies and Hugs as Payment
http://buff.ly/1yVxYId
― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Friday, 30 January 2015 22:41 (nine years ago) link
end times man
― Sounds like a forks display name (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 31 January 2015 03:38 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jan/29/catty-sarah-palin-speech-inadvertently-raises-50k-hillary-clinton
― StanM, Saturday, 31 January 2015 11:59 (nine years ago) link
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/02/gop-senator-let-restaurants-opt-out-of-handwashing-after-toilet-to-reduce-regulatory-burden/
― joygoat, Tuesday, 3 February 2015 19:15 (nine years ago) link
I would actually be all for that rule if the restaurant opting out had to place large, visible signage all over its storefront, by its register, its tables, in the bathroom, etc. "EMPLOYEES NEED NOT WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK."
Of course, the best retorts to his dumb argument I've heard is that it's actually no less burdensome a regulation to require signage than it is to require handwashing.
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Tuesday, 3 February 2015 20:13 (nine years ago) link
http://brotherhipster.com/2015/01/06/heres-why-selfie-sticks-arent-a-big-deal/
something abt the tone really reminds me of an Onion op-ed
― The Crucifixion Of Sean Bean (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 24 February 2015 10:47 (nine years ago) link
https://meduza.io/en/news/2015/03/05/russia-s-only-gulag-memorial-is-redesigned-to-celebrate-the-gulag
― ljubljana, Thursday, 5 March 2015 13:31 (nine years ago) link
Wow:
“Now Perm-36 will be a museum dedicated to the difficult and noble work of the Gulag’s valiant workers, and about the technologies they used to protect the great [Soviet] people from the fifth column and various Nazis from Ukraine.”
― drash, Thursday, 5 March 2015 14:00 (nine years ago) link
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 5 March 2015 15:09 (nine years ago) link
solzhenitsyn is rolling in his grave
― Mordy, Thursday, 5 March 2015 16:10 (nine years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_1jlN3UIAALtAI.png
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 18:33 (nine years ago) link
http://www.salon.com/2015/03/12/rudy_giuliani_i_wish_president_obama_were_more_like_bill_cosby
― Mordy, Friday, 13 March 2015 04:28 (nine years ago) link
hooooooly shit
― Maybe in 100 years someone will say damn Dawn was dope. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 13 March 2015 05:00 (nine years ago) link
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-hot-sauce-seizure-met-20150313-story.html
Man credits hot sauce with saving his life.
― Jeff, Friday, 13 March 2015 15:54 (nine years ago) link
http://i58.tinypic.com/bg75dv.png http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2399141-evander-holyfield-to-fight-mitt-romney-for-charity-event
― the fuckin catalina wine mixer (sleepingbag), Tuesday, 17 March 2015 01:14 (nine years ago) link
i wonder if holyfield knows he'll be up against a robot. here's what happened to the last guy who tried to romney on
― CoolRadio, Tuesday, 17 March 2015 01:36 (nine years ago) link
http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2015/03/18/lottery-loser-plans-to-keep-losing-at-lottery/
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 18 March 2015 19:30 (nine years ago) link
http://www.12newsnow.com/story/28566302/new-hampshire-students-hawk-bill-provokes-abortion-comment
― Devilock, Friday, 20 March 2015 05:27 (nine years ago) link
Omg what
― kinder, Friday, 20 March 2015 06:14 (nine years ago) link
Haha, I just posted that on the American Right Wing thread!
― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Friday, 20 March 2015 14:14 (nine years ago) link
http://judiciary.house.gov/index.cfm/2015/3/at-the-flick-of-a-switch/
shit that looks like a clickhole article but isn't
― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Friday, 20 March 2015 15:47 (nine years ago) link
That lottery story is deeply sad.
― ©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 20 March 2015 15:57 (nine years ago) link
that judiciary page is mindboggling
― Maybe in 100 years someone will say damn Dawn was dope. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 20 March 2015 16:06 (nine years ago) link
"Girl Dancing With 30 Hula Hoops Looks Like She's About to Get Teleported"
http://sploid.gizmodo.com/girl-dancing-with-30-hula-hoops-looks-like-shes-about-t-1628255133
― gybe horses (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 25 March 2015 13:34 (nine years ago) link
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2015/03/23/voices/spare-thought-western-men-trapped-japan/#.VRew89qRUup
― 龜, Sunday, 29 March 2015 22:37 (nine years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/OQZfsL8.png
― 龜, Sunday, 29 March 2015 22:39 (nine years ago) link
thinkin baout things
― gr8080, Monday, 30 March 2015 13:34 (eight years ago) link
read that as LOLCAL GARDOVA
― kinder, Monday, 30 March 2015 17:02 (eight years ago) link
http://nypost.com/2015/02/12/i-dont-regret-my-office-romance-and-neither-should-you/
"TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS AFTER SAYING “I DO,’’ I STILL THINK THAT MY HUSBAND IS THE CUTEST THING IN PANTS."
― Maybe in 100 years someone will say damn Dawn was dope. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 2 April 2015 15:20 (eight years ago) link
cheesy as fuck, but not onion level parody
― Nhex, Thursday, 2 April 2015 16:36 (eight years ago) link
http://ww2.kqed.org/news/2015/04/02/new-luxury-bus-lines-roll-into-san-francisco
“When I work late and I can’t take the express bus home — how do I say this — it’s uncomfortable the amount of passengers and the type of passengers. Sometimes I don’t feel safe,” Schiermeyer says.
― Maybe in 100 years someone will say damn Dawn was dope. (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 4 April 2015 15:32 (eight years ago) link
https://vimeo.com/122275278
“I get triggered when I think about all of the people who don’t have access to Leap.”Ilyse Magy, San Francisco Transit Riders Union
alol
― een, Saturday, 4 April 2015 16:30 (eight years ago) link
http://www.hopesandfears.com/hopes/future/science/168959-mysterious-deep-space-signals-revealed-to-be-rogue-microwave-ovens
― anonanon, Monday, 13 April 2015 17:28 (eight years ago) link
amazing
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 13 April 2015 17:39 (eight years ago) link
http://fusion.net/story/118657/the-worlds-first-hologram-protest-held-in-spain/
― Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? (forksclovetofu), Monday, 13 April 2015 20:11 (eight years ago) link
Kelley Paul says husband Rand Paul not a sexist
― franklin, Tuesday, 14 April 2015 18:41 (eight years ago) link
http://www.indyweek.com/indyweek/what-its-like-to-be-a-grown-man-whose-favorite-band-is-three-women/Content?oid=4374935
― pissbaby nobody in the corner (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 16 April 2015 20:20 (eight years ago) link
jesus motherfucking christ
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 16 April 2015 20:26 (eight years ago) link
couldn't scroll past the photo
― goole, Thursday, 16 April 2015 21:51 (eight years ago) link
But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male. But I am a 31-year-old balding male.
― Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 April 2015 02:10 (eight years ago) link
A balding ranga no less.
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Friday, 17 April 2015 03:27 (eight years ago) link
Stephen Hawking tells fans Zayn Malik could still be in a parallel One Direction
http://gu.com/p/47pth
― kinder, Monday, 27 April 2015 07:02 (eight years ago) link
http://thoughtcatalog.com/sarah-larson/2014/01/i-think-people-without-kids-have-empty-lives-and-im-not-sorry-about-it/
― rushomancy, Monday, 27 April 2015 10:48 (eight years ago) link
I Think People Without Kids Have Empty Lives And I’m Not Sorry About ItSarah Larson1764 Comments
― 'come around to your house and fuck your ho' (paraphrase) (Bananaman Begins), Monday, 27 April 2015 10:52 (eight years ago) link
as a second article in this series i would like to see I Think People Without Spinning Light-Up Bowties Have Empty Lives And I’m Not Sorry About It because 1. it's true, 2. everyone in this instance has a choice about it, and 3. it is just a more compelling topic
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 27 April 2015 12:18 (eight years ago) link
I’m not saying you can’t have a happy life without kids. Of course you can. You can be happy making all kinds of choices, because people are adaptable and have a remarkable ability to make the best of things. You can also be happy as a racist, but that doesn’t make you an especially great person. I’m not saying that kid-free people are bad like being racist is bad. I’m simply illustrating the point that happiness does not equate to living a great life.
― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Monday, 27 April 2015 13:32 (eight years ago) link
such a shame all her kids have empty lives
― ogmor, Monday, 27 April 2015 14:39 (eight years ago) link
was thought catalog even still relevant in 2k14 let alone 2k15
― brunch technician (silby), Tuesday, 28 April 2015 02:33 (eight years ago) link
shit that looks like a clickhole link but isn't:
http://www.lifehacker.co.uk/2015/04/28/video-shows-off-three-best-ways-roll-sleeves
a 5 minute(!) video showing you the best three ways to roll up your sleeves.
― koogs, Tuesday, 28 April 2015 15:09 (eight years ago) link
Fortune's report on $80,000 fashion-forward assault rifles
http://fortune.com/2015/04/28/ridiculously-expensive-guns/
― Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 28 April 2015 15:38 (eight years ago) link
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/sylvia-driskell-nebraska-woman-files-lawsuit-against-every-gay-person-in-the-world-10230379.html
― Roz, Thursday, 7 May 2015 12:48 (eight years ago) link
I'm OK if we all chip in one penny and then have her settlement dumped down on her from above.
― Norse Jung (Eric H.), Thursday, 7 May 2015 12:52 (eight years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2015/may/07/the-patriots-still-won-the-super-bowl-whether-tom-brady-is-a-or-not
― “audience participation” otherwise known as “touching” (forksclovetofu), Friday, 8 May 2015 13:48 (eight years ago) link
Odd how the URL is missing the word 'cheat'. But still contains the is a or (which normally get stripped from 'readable' URLs)
― koogs, Saturday, 9 May 2015 07:01 (eight years ago) link
Attorney: Spy chief had 'forgotten' about NSA program when he misled Congress
http://thehill.com/policy/technology/241508-spy-head-had-absolutely-forgotten-about-nsa-program
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 10 May 2015 13:36 (eight years ago) link
Florence Henderson Describes How Former NYC Mayor John Lindsay Gave Her Crabs
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/08/florence-henderson-crabs_n_7246404.html
― “audience participation” otherwise known as “touching” (forksclovetofu), Monday, 11 May 2015 14:13 (eight years ago) link
Nannette Phillips Charity · Top CommenterWell she's the one who wrote the book bragging about it.
idk how the Top Commenter appellation is derived but it always seems to deliver
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 11 May 2015 14:19 (eight years ago) link
29 Recipes Every Millennial Should Know
(http://www.brit.co/best-real-world-college-to-real-life-recipes/)
― koogs, Monday, 11 May 2015 16:47 (eight years ago) link
same site:
5 Things Every Girl Should Know Before Dyeing Her Hair Pastel
14 Unexpected Ways to Eat Bananas
― koogs, Monday, 11 May 2015 16:49 (eight years ago) link
lol whipped cream 'with only 3 ingredients'
― kinder, Monday, 11 May 2015 16:52 (eight years ago) link
http://www.stereogum.com/1801007/nyc-luxury-hotel-testing-accommodations-on-lenny-kravitz-before-opening/news/
― écorché (S-), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 06:10 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/azSYrD5.jpg
― pplains, Saturday, 16 May 2015 22:48 (eight years ago) link
https://www.google.ca/search?q=max+pitch-slapped
― aaaaablnnn (abanana), Wednesday, 20 May 2015 12:15 (eight years ago) link
jesus
― goole, Thursday, 21 May 2015 20:17 (eight years ago) link
http://www.dailydot.com/lol/techmeme-slambook/
― “audience participation” otherwise known as “touching” (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 21 May 2015 20:21 (eight years ago) link
oh nevermind that's all inside baseball
― “audience participation” otherwise known as “touching” (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 21 May 2015 20:22 (eight years ago) link
Wealthy Chinese man buys two gold Apple Watch Editions for dog, prompts bizarre controversy
― Lee626, Wednesday, 27 May 2015 12:53 (eight years ago) link
Tuhao is a derogatory Chinese term that refers to people who are rich, but lack corresponding social graces. Were it around at the time, Americans might have used the word to refer to the Clampett family from the Beverly Hillbillies.
Yes, I think Americans are familiar with the concept, thanks.
But that said, this is an entertaining tag page: http://shanghaiist.com/tags/tuhao
― pplains, Wednesday, 27 May 2015 13:29 (eight years ago) link
Tuhao dude tries to win girl's heart via drone, she attacks it with a broom FTW.
― Lee626, Thursday, 28 May 2015 01:33 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/7L59MQ8.jpg
― pplains, Thursday, 28 May 2015 02:20 (eight years ago) link
http://www.jpost.com/Arab-Israeli-Conflict/Post-writer-attacked-at-Jerusalem-coexistence-hug-event-404423
― Mordy, Sunday, 31 May 2015 11:39 (eight years ago) link
http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2015/05/31/jack_warner_arrested_ex_fifa_official_cites_onion_article_to_defend_himself.html
??
― 龜, Monday, 1 June 2015 12:49 (eight years ago) link
hoo boy
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 1 June 2015 14:53 (eight years ago) link
http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2015/jun/11/board-member-had-longstanding-doubts-about-truthfu/
― 龜, Friday, 12 June 2015 00:06 (eight years ago) link
These matters aside, unlike elsewhere in the world, Australia's black and brown coal resources are low-sulphur and hence pollution-free. In contrast to windfarms they do not require vast tracts of land and disfigure the natural environment. Nor do they impose the detrimental health effects from low frequency noise and infrasound that, according to the Senate Committee on Wind Turbines, appear to affect 10 to 15 per cent of the population.
From here: http://www.afr.com/opinion/columns/green-energy-generates-big-costs-for-little-gain-20150621-ghtluw
― badg, Wednesday, 24 June 2015 17:53 (eight years ago) link
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/history/2014/08/john_hancock_s_declaration_of_independence_signature_was_it_too_big.html
― aaaaablnnn (abanana), Saturday, 4 July 2015 23:44 (eight years ago) link
These Are 13 Of The Best Trading Floor Pranks Of All Time
― WE WANT FET WAP (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 19:25 (eight years ago) link
http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20150713/downtown/chicago-moves-ban-gun-shaped-cellphone-cases
― Jeff, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 00:38 (eight years ago) link
shit that looks like an onion article and is:https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CKDsDyyXAAAcBIQ.png
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:01 (eight years ago) link
― jason waterfalls (gbx), Friday, 17 July 2015 15:20 (eight years ago) link
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/nearly-40000-demand-south-carolina-remove-slave-memorial-because-it-shames-whites/
“The African American Monument depicts slave ships, mistreatment and words such as ‘segregation’ and ‘Jim Crow,'” the petition states. “This being the case, it is undeniable that this monument can and does serve to invoke in the white community feelings of shame, humiliation and offense, serving as a constant reminder of the dark history of slavery.”
― Hikikomori Povich (tsrobodo), Saturday, 18 July 2015 21:55 (eight years ago) link
http://www.texasmonthly.com/daily-post/almost-half-texas-believes-military-invasion-likely-coming-and-finally-conspiracy-crowd
sometimes im like "tx isn't so bad"
this isn't one of those times
― head clowning instructor (art), Thursday, 23 July 2015 22:14 (eight years ago) link
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-07-22/these-superhumans-are-real-and-their-dna-could-be-worth-billions
― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 24 July 2015 09:00 (eight years ago) link
A friend and I discussed on FB yesterday the fact that you could easily switch the text of these two articles and nothing would change. It's Poe's Law in action.
http://www.theonion.com/article/man-already-knows-everything-he-needs-to-know-abou-17990
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/michigan-town-blocks-muslim-mans-secular-scout-camp-over-fears-its-a-secret-isis-training-ground/
― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Friday, 24 July 2015 11:07 (eight years ago) link
Was kind of briefly wondering if rawstory.com is even a real news site, since on the side panel there was also this story:
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/man-dons-knights-templar-costume-to-scare-away-muslims-from-new-york-military-recruiting-center/
― silverfish, Friday, 24 July 2015 17:24 (eight years ago) link
Accompanied by his wife, the former Marine also brought along a bow and a quiver full of arrows, saying he doesn’t have a permit to carry a handgun.
― silverfish, Friday, 24 July 2015 17:26 (eight years ago) link
Wyoming Man Found with 30 Eyeballs in His Anal Cavity : http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/
― StanM, Saturday, 25 July 2015 07:00 (eight years ago) link
http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/womens-museum-becomes-womens-killer-museum.html?mid=twitter-share-thecut
― 龜, Wednesday, 29 July 2015 21:34 (eight years ago) link
https://www.yahoo.com/music/heres-1000-people-playing-the-foo-fighters-125469380086.html
― écorché (S-), Friday, 31 July 2015 04:42 (eight years ago) link
Headline in Norwegian paper just now: "Prisoner escapes from Bastøy [prison island] on a surfboard"
― July retires into a shrubbery. (Øystein), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 11:58 (eight years ago) link
the thing about lenny kravitz's dick falling out after he split his pantshttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kimberleydadds/lenny-kravitzs-dick-wants-to-fly-away#.yvGpy9jm1
― La Lechera, Wednesday, 5 August 2015 12:56 (eight years ago) link
Too obvious for The Onion, but nevertheless:
http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/madd-chapter-president-charged-with-impaired-driving-resigns-1.2503162
― clemenza, Wednesday, 5 August 2015 22:22 (eight years ago) link
Man Sues Restaurant Known for Throwing Dinner Rolls After Being Hit by Bread
― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Thursday, 13 August 2015 15:37 (eight years ago) link
I mean...
http://i.imgur.com/oVsLMsV.jpg
― pplains, Thursday, 13 August 2015 17:23 (eight years ago) link
http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/morris-dancers-blind-footballers-brawl/"Morris dancers and blind footballers in mass brawl"
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, 13 August 2015 23:14 (eight years ago) link
Aw crap I didnt read that one closely, its a satire. NM.
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Friday, 14 August 2015 00:05 (eight years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/aug/21/jonathan-franzen-considered-adopting-iraqi-orphan-young-people
― klu, Friday, 21 August 2015 20:10 (eight years ago) link
needs to give his editor a raise imo
― Meta Forksclove-Liebeskind (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 August 2015 20:44 (eight years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/25/never-date-a-man-who-hates-beyonce?CMP=twt_gu
plausibly this is intentionally Onion-esque in its delivery, at the least I think this dude is adopting a persona, but it's presented as sincere so
― Hector Ringtone (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 25 August 2015 22:11 (eight years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/08/us/politics/hillary-clinton-to-show-more-humor-and-heart-aides-say.html?&moduleDetail=section-news-3&action=click&contentCollection=Politics®ion=Footer&module=MoreInSection&version=WhatsNext&contentID=WhatsNext&pgtype=article
"And there will be new efforts to bring spontaneity to a candidacy that sometimes seems wooden and overly cautious" is just a taste of the comedy within
― Vic Perry, Tuesday, 8 September 2015 00:38 (eight years ago) link
Chris Brown bails on gay pride appearance because gay men were present
― best beloved george benson (The Reverend), Tuesday, 8 September 2015 08:08 (eight years ago) link
While totally applicable to the thread on title alone, I bet the onion would reject that article if a writer pitched it to them becuz it requires accepting that chris brown has a lesbian segment of his fanbase
― da croupier, Tuesday, 8 September 2015 14:05 (eight years ago) link
Like this could be an onion headline and "Chris brown entertains lesbian dance party at pride" could be an onion headline
― da croupier, Tuesday, 8 September 2015 14:07 (eight years ago) link
http://www.vox.com/2015/9/9/9275611/victorian-era-life
― gr8080, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 16:51 (eight years ago) link
can't wait til they die of consumption
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 16:54 (eight years ago) link
Gabriel's workout clothes were copied from the racing outfit of a Victorian cyclist, and when he goes swimming, his hand-knit wool swim trunks raise more than a few eyebrows — but this is just the least of the abuse we've taken. We have been called "freaks," "bizarre," and an endless slew of far worse insults. We've received hate mail telling us to get out of town and repeating the word "kill ... kill ... kill." Every time I leave home I have to constantly be on guard against people who try to paw at and grope me. Dealing with all these things and not being ground down by them, not letting other people's hostile ignorance rob us of the joy we find in this life — that is the hard part. By comparison, wearing a Victorian corset is the easiest thing in the world.
― Meta Forksclove-Liebeskind (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 9 September 2015 17:01 (eight years ago) link
btw, "kill...kill...kill" is not a single word
I take some small comfort in assuming she doesn't vote
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 17:04 (eight years ago) link
so this is a trending topic now; feeling trolled
― Meta Forksclove-Liebeskind (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 9 September 2015 17:24 (eight years ago) link
I love my fantasies so much I decided to live in them. Nothing new in that.
― Aimless, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 17:49 (eight years ago) link
She's got a website
― kinder, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 18:17 (eight years ago) link
" The late Victorian era was an incredibly dynamic time, with so many new and extraordinary inventions it seemed anything was possible. Interacting with tangible items from that time helps us connect with and share that optimism."
ah but then who is the real Victorian, someone who wears woollen Speedos or the businessman with his iPhone and Eggmaster?
― kinder, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 18:22 (eight years ago) link
optimism & innovation was the Victorian era's death knell
― gr8080, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 23:53 (eight years ago) link
Oh man my colleague is a Victorianist and just posted on Facebook that he's set up an interview with these people.
― joygoat, Thursday, 10 September 2015 21:23 (eight years ago) link
if they were that deep in the game she would have called them poison pen letters instead of hate mail
― Hector Ringtone (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 10 September 2015 22:33 (eight years ago) link
Great that these people aren't smart enough to know there's probably an 80-90% chance that in the Victorian era they would have lived in a filthy slum and died early of sulphur poisoning, not been members of the fucking leisure class.
Not everyone necessarily wants to live the same lifestyle we have chosen, of course. But anyone can benefit from choices that increase their awareness of their surroundings and the way things they use every day affect them.
"I'm so aware of my surroundings and the world we live in that I use ancient inefficient lightbulbs and burn kerosene right in my house!"
This is why more people don't follow their dreams: They know the world is a cruel place for anyone who doesn't fit into the dominant culture.
No, most people have to work for a fucking living.
― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Thursday, 10 September 2015 22:41 (eight years ago) link
if they were that deep in the game she would have called them poison pen letters instead of hate mail― Hector Ringtone (DJ Mencap), Thursday, September 10, 2015 3:33 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Hector Ringtone (DJ Mencap), Thursday, September 10, 2015 3:33 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
haha, otm!
― intheblanks, Thursday, 10 September 2015 23:09 (eight years ago) link
https://twitter.com/myfoxla/status/643519513745559553
― goole, Monday, 14 September 2015 21:21 (eight years ago) link
because cheerleading is all about triggering PTSD!
― go hang a salami I'm a canal, adam (silby), Tuesday, 15 September 2015 17:52 (eight years ago) link
They're called cheerLEADERS, not cheerFOLLOWERS.
― Norse Jung (Eric H.), Tuesday, 15 September 2015 18:07 (eight years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/sep/20/teen-prosecuted-naked-images-himself-phone-selfies
― kinder, Sunday, 20 September 2015 20:27 (eight years ago) link
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/poles-furious-after-russia-blames-them-for-starting-wwii/2015/09/26/0da28620-644a-11e5-8475-781cc9851652_story.html
― goole, Saturday, 26 September 2015 16:06 (eight years ago) link
https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/capital-weather-gang/wp/2014/06/02/female-named-hurricanes-kill-more-than-male-because-people-dont-respect-them-study-finds
― Tuomas, Sunday, 4 October 2015 18:20 (eight years ago) link
omg. for this thread i give it an A+
― Nhex, Sunday, 4 October 2015 22:07 (eight years ago) link
Plastic Bags Chaos Looms
(front page of daily mail today, in letters an inch high)
― koogs, Monday, 5 October 2015 08:34 (eight years ago) link
the front page headline of the local boston paper is about a commuter train that now has a slightly less direct route into the city. i guess nothing is happening in the world.
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 5 October 2015 12:10 (eight years ago) link
http://www.donotlink.com/gy14
― a literal scarecrow on a quaint porch (forksclovetofu), Friday, 9 October 2015 15:29 (eight years ago) link
^ilx should use donotlink more often.it's a link from elite daily: "Don’t Impress Me With ‘Something Different’, Just Take Me to Dinner"
― a literal scarecrow on a quaint porch (forksclovetofu), Friday, 9 October 2015 15:30 (eight years ago) link
> ^ilx should use donotlink more often.
and get popups asking you to rate stuff? no thanks.
"In one click, how would you describe this elitedaily.com page or article?Great Interesting Nonsense Offensive Dangerous"
― koogs, Friday, 9 October 2015 15:42 (eight years ago) link
http://www.citylab.com/navigator/2015/10/for-5-this-startup-will-cancel-comcast-for-you/409870/
― goole, Friday, 9 October 2015 19:20 (eight years ago) link
xp small price to pay not to give douchebags the traffic imo
― a literal scarecrow on a quaint porch (forksclovetofu), Friday, 9 October 2015 19:26 (eight years ago) link
Airplane Passengers Will Be Stacked On Top Of Each Other In Airbus Patent
― aaaaablnnn (abanana), Saturday, 10 October 2015 07:03 (eight years ago) link
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/44/African_slave_ship_diagram.jpg
― Josefa, Sunday, 11 October 2015 04:12 (eight years ago) link
my favorite reddit thread xd
― Sébastien, Sunday, 11 October 2015 04:24 (eight years ago) link
http://fox4kc.com/2015/10/08/man-who-calls-police-to-say-hes-too-high-found-in-pile-of-doritos/
― Evan, Tuesday, 13 October 2015 17:58 (eight years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CRTMKKVUcAAlCT5.png
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 14 October 2015 19:06 (eight years ago) link
http://bigstory.ap.org/article/2371c36fd51d41789532bee499f63ddc/zoo-meerkat-expert-sentenced-over-assault-monkey-handler
― Thus Sang Freud, Thursday, 15 October 2015 16:58 (eight years ago) link
omg, claiming the dn
― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 15 October 2015 17:47 (eight years ago) link
http://www.wcvb.com/news/death-notes-book-found-in-nashua-school-raises-concerns/35809048
― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Monday, 19 October 2015 15:40 (eight years ago) link
this requires a single google search peoplehttp://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YC1YDME
― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Monday, 19 October 2015 15:42 (eight years ago) link
hahahaha
― Nhex, Monday, 19 October 2015 17:52 (eight years ago) link
"I pray with every ounce of my being that it's never something that would turn into a tragedy," Charest said. "But how do you know it wouldn't? How do you know this isn't the beginning of a tragic situation?"
― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Monday, 19 October 2015 18:05 (eight years ago) link
We Blended All of Leonardo DiCaprio's Former Girlfriends' Faces Together
― soref, Thursday, 22 October 2015 00:38 (eight years ago) link
wonderful, just a shame they couldn't mock up some photos of leo hanging out with his generic GF
― ogmor, Thursday, 22 October 2015 08:30 (eight years ago) link
he just wants to date a vermeer what's wrong with that
― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 22 October 2015 17:09 (eight years ago) link
http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Christie-Kicked-out-of-Amtrak-Quiet-Car-336906541.html
― Ina-Garten-Da-Vida (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, 26 October 2015 02:05 (eight years ago) link
http://www.timesofisrael.com/watch-gaza-family-names-baby-boy-knife-of-jerusalem/
― Mordy, Monday, 26 October 2015 13:49 (eight years ago) link
Comedy fan who collapses every time she laughs says her favourite stand-up Lee Evans could kill her
― soref, Monday, 2 November 2015 01:40 (eight years ago) link
The DiCaprio one looks like Clickhole
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 2 November 2015 04:23 (eight years ago) link
http://m.chron.com/news/houston-texas/texas/article/Happiest-mugshot-in-America-belongs-to-this-6620025.php
― Love, Wilco (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 9 November 2015 22:55 (eight years ago) link
I dunno, that's about average in Texas.
http://i.imgur.com/vXwpqaa.jpg
― pplains, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 01:25 (eight years ago) link
http://www.charlotteobserver.com/opinion/article45163665.html
And because you are a role model, your behavior brought out like behavior in the stands. Some of the Panthers fans in our section began taunting the hometown fans. Many Titans fans booed you, a few offering instructive, but not necessarily family friendly, suggestions as to how you might change your behavior.My daughter sensed the change immediately – and started asking questions. Won’t he get in trouble for doing that? Is he trying to make people mad? Do you think he knows he looks like a spoiled brat?I didn’t have great answers for her, and honestly, in an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.
My daughter sensed the change immediately – and started asking questions. Won’t he get in trouble for doing that? Is he trying to make people mad? Do you think he knows he looks like a spoiled brat?
I didn’t have great answers for her, and honestly, in an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.
― tsrobodo, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 17:29 (eight years ago) link
New Documentary Chronicles the Story of the Pogues' Shane MacGowan Getting New Teeth
http://pitchfork.com/news/62237-new-documentary-chronicles-the-story-of-the-pogues-shane-macgowan-getting-new-teeth/
― Spencer Chow, Monday, 23 November 2015 23:13 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/is9iEl1.png
― a moment on the streets, a lifetime in the sheets (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 30 December 2015 23:31 (eight years ago) link
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/12/29/lawsuit-claims-teaching-assistants-at-amherst-were-told-to-sleep-with-students-to-boost-class-enrollment/
― Mordy, Tuesday, 5 January 2016 16:37 (eight years ago) link
admittedly i don't read the onion, but good god does this sound like a parody:
"Three months without dating apps: It was harder than I expected"
http://www.theprovince.com/life/fashion-beauty/three+months+without+dating+apps+harder+than+expected/11630087/story.html
or maybe it's that i almost never used dating apps
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 18:28 (eight years ago) link
an article about the onion that looks like an onion article
http://www.bloomberg.com/gadfly/articles/2016-01-19/onion-worth-more-than-washington-post-as-print-wilts
― Roz, Wednesday, 20 January 2016 03:25 (eight years ago) link
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/three-6-mafia-star-remembers-867617
not the whole thing, but this part is clickholesque to me:
To be honest, I didn't know what the hell an Oscar was. So I Googled the word. And then I saw that gold man — and I was like, "Holy sheriff!" That woke me right up. I had heard of the Academy Awards, but I didn't know the name "Oscar" meant the Academy Awards. So I called Juicy J right back: "You mean the gold man?!" "That's right! It's for Hustle & Flow!"
― crüt, Thursday, 25 February 2016 23:07 (eight years ago) link
lol otm, "the gold man"
― petulant dick master (silby), Friday, 26 February 2016 18:15 (eight years ago) link
― kinder, Friday, 26 February 2016 19:03 (eight years ago) link
http://www.archdaily.com/783193/anish-kapoor-now-owns-the-rights-to-the-worlds-darkest-material
― MaresNest, Monday, 7 March 2016 19:17 (eight years ago) link
None more black. Though I was hoping "darkest material" meant the right to, like, joke about pedophilia.
― dinnerboat, Monday, 7 March 2016 20:09 (eight years ago) link
Heartbreaking Photo Of Grandad Who Cooked For All Six Grandkids - But Only One Turned Up
https://www.yahoo.com/news/burger-and-cries-papaw-makes-dinner-for-101930480.html
― onimo, Saturday, 19 March 2016 07:46 (eight years ago) link
http://www.smh.com.au/world/380-million-ship-may-be-named-boaty-mcboatface-thanks-to-an-online-poll-20160320-gnmtvx.html
― like Uber, but for underpants (James Morrison), Wednesday, 23 March 2016 00:46 (eight years ago) link
http://nypost.com/2016/03/20/not-so-fast-on-banning-tipping-please-even-though-i-called-for-it/
― chinavision!, Thursday, 24 March 2016 17:41 (eight years ago) link
xpost: the ship will be called Sir David McAttenboroughface, apparently.
― StanM, Friday, 6 May 2016 13:01 (seven years ago) link
( http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-36225652 )
― StanM, Friday, 6 May 2016 13:10 (seven years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/may/05/baby-boxes-abortion-indiana-pro-life-safe-havenhttp://www.safehavenbabyboxes.com/
― ulysses, Friday, 6 May 2016 16:18 (seven years ago) link
i can't argue with it as a utility but connecting it with a pro-life agenda is ugly
― ulysses, Friday, 6 May 2016 16:19 (seven years ago) link
http://www.aux.tv/2016/05/99-items-found-in-princes-secret-vault/
― Wrecka Stow Ralph (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 7 May 2016 05:02 (seven years ago) link
Those items need to be polled
― Josefa, Saturday, 7 May 2016 07:29 (seven years ago) link
I was also going to suggest a poll for the members of the Revolution and one for the NPG, but I think this should take precedence.
― Wrecka Stow Ralph (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 7 May 2016 12:19 (seven years ago) link
Budweiser Renames Its Beer "America"
― ciderpress, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 16:09 (seven years ago) link
"Millions of men every evening stand shoulder-to-shoulder in this great land and piss America..."
― pplains, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 16:15 (seven years ago) link
Now when someone offers to get me a beer I can say, "Anything but America."
― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 10 May 2016 19:46 (seven years ago) link
^
― nomar, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 19:48 (seven years ago) link
"Step out of the car, I smell America on your breath"
― StanM, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 21:06 (seven years ago) link
Every child had a pretty good shot,
To get at least as far as his old man got,
But something happened on the way to that place,
He threw up America all over the place... hey hey hey... uh woe woe
― pplains, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 21:16 (seven years ago) link
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/elderly-polish-couple-buy-fabric-tickets-online-and-rave-until-5am-a3249571.html
― StanM, Tuesday, 17 May 2016 19:20 (seven years ago) link
Ravers: the man stole a dance with clubber Abbie Leek (Abbie Leek)
― ulysses, Wednesday, 18 May 2016 14:04 (seven years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/may/18/google-patents-sticky-layer-self-driving-car-accidents
― I've had Eno, ugh (ledge), Thursday, 19 May 2016 08:11 (seven years ago) link
http://sfist.com/2016/05/23/rec_parks_pilot_program_allows_you.php
― Dan I., Tuesday, 24 May 2016 18:01 (seven years ago) link
http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/crime-and-courts/duck-fat-spill-coated-downtown-sidewalks-madison-fire-says/article_34e045bf-1d2c-5fc9-b3c1-1712aa082a83.html
― sam jax sax jam (Jordan), Tuesday, 24 May 2016 18:29 (seven years ago) link
the last sentence in the duck fat link -
"The chef contracted to have the duck fat spill absorbed."
― écorché (S-), Friday, 27 May 2016 04:14 (seven years ago) link
oops I get it.
― écorché (S-), Friday, 27 May 2016 04:24 (seven years ago) link
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/436246/x-men-apocalypse-billboard-villain
― De La Soul is no Major Lazer (ulysses), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 04:47 (seven years ago) link
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2016/06/24/more-than-30-people-burned-in-motivational-speaker-tony-robbins-hot-coals-walk.html
― dinnerboat, Friday, 24 June 2016 20:21 (seven years ago) link
"some people were not concentrating on walking across the coals because they were taking selfies and asking others to take video of them."
― remove butt (abanana), Friday, 24 June 2016 20:40 (seven years ago) link
not really an onion article but the timing is...interesting.
front page of yahoo O_O
LifestyleWow, Karma! Pride of Lions Kills 5 Poachers in Sneak Attack
― nomar, Friday, 8 July 2016 19:19 (seven years ago) link
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-minister-theresa-may-cabinet-a7135371.html
"Boris Johnson named Foreign Secretary"
― koogs, Wednesday, 13 July 2016 19:52 (seven years ago) link
good to know that being eaten by lions is primarily a "lifestyle" issue.
― the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Wednesday, 13 July 2016 19:54 (seven years ago) link
Drunk idiot who scaled airport fence to board planes caught out by receipt for Mr Blobby biscuit
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/drunk-idiot-who-scaled-airport-8415425#DLmJ8SWiuPD25pjv.97
― Chuck_Tatum, Thursday, 14 July 2016 14:24 (seven years ago) link
No link, but biking past our local NPR station this morning I saw this on their scrolling news marquee: "WISH GRANTED - SIX-YEAR-OLD BOY TO BE GARBAGEMAN FOR A DAY."
― a 47-year-old chainsaw artist from South Carolina (Phil D.), Tuesday, 26 July 2016 14:13 (seven years ago) link
6-Year-Old Boy's Wish To Be A 'Garbage Man' Granted
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/07/27/487604365/6-year-old-boys-wish-to-be-a-garbage-man-granted
― écorché (S-), Friday, 5 August 2016 04:47 (seven years ago) link
Hats off to that kid actually, far better than wishing to be a ludicrously wealthy brooding weirdo (ie Batman)
― écorché (S-), Friday, 5 August 2016 04:50 (seven years ago) link
good to know that being eaten by lions is primarily a "lifestyle" issue.― the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Wednesday, July 13, 2016 2:54 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Wednesday, July 13, 2016 2:54 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
eating humans is def. a lifestyle choice for lions
― wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 5 August 2016 05:02 (seven years ago) link
Accused FSU face eater told cops he wasn't on drugs during arrest
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article96949917.html
― Foster Twelvetrees (Ward Fowler), Sunday, 21 August 2016 13:20 (seven years ago) link
Security footage showed Harrouff calmly walking out of the restaurant, clad in a blue polo shirt, white pants and and <sic> a backward Make America Great Again hat
― Dan I., Sunday, 21 August 2016 16:11 (seven years ago) link
Deadly bagpipe infection is health warning to all wind musicians
(at least the headline)
― Shinzō Abe as Super Mario (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 23 August 2016 14:25 (seven years ago) link
O what a horror it will be to never hear the sound of bagpipes again.
― pplains, Tuesday, 23 August 2016 15:03 (seven years ago) link
(^ Sarcasm regretted at 2019 funeral, listening to someone off in the distance playing "Amazing Grace" on the accordion.)
Archbishop of Canterbury: ‘Pope Francis would beat me in a fight’
“For a lot of reasons, the Pope would (win). He’s got a bigger stick than me. He’s got a bigger hat then me. He’s bigger then me. He’s better than me.”
― corbynite, shite (soref), Saturday, 3 September 2016 01:09 (seven years ago) link
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/09/12/jailed-agadoo-singer-led-a-conga-in-prison/
― Foster Twelvetrees (Ward Fowler), Monday, 12 September 2016 12:20 (seven years ago) link
there's no way the reality could live up to that article, but it is nonetheless wonderful
― ogmor, Monday, 12 September 2016 12:23 (seven years ago) link
lol, I was actually imagining that happening when I first read about him getting sent down
― calzino, Monday, 12 September 2016 12:34 (seven years ago) link
I think my single least favorite kind of facebook comment is "not the onion!"
― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Monday, 12 September 2016 15:05 (seven years ago) link
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/a1Qd14pXQI4/hqdefault.jpg
― Mordy, Monday, 12 September 2016 16:46 (seven years ago) link
Intelligent robot that 'remembers and learns' could be scrapped after escaping a lab for a second time
― gesticulating Pez dispenser (Sanpaku), Sunday, 18 September 2016 18:37 (seven years ago) link
Haha wow that video of it creeping away
― Evan, Sunday, 18 September 2016 18:58 (seven years ago) link
lol, that popped up in the Harper's Findings and i knew the internet would provide video sooner or later
― thrusted pelvis-first back (ulysses), Sunday, 18 September 2016 21:52 (seven years ago) link
Bob Dylan Announces 36-Disc Set of 1966 Live Albums
― dinnerboat, Tuesday, 27 September 2016 14:36 (seven years ago) link
these guys are just trying to get in this thread now
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/15/us/bottle-flipping-craze-is-fun-for-children-but-torture-for-parents.html
“I’m going to need a bottle of Xanax to deal with the bottle crunching,” said Ms. Tuna, who has five children, four of whom are living at home: three boys, ages 10, 12 and 13, and an 11-year-old daughter. She said they all toss bottles, though the girl less so.
― the notes the loon doesn't play (ulysses), Sunday, 16 October 2016 21:41 (seven years ago) link
Ms. TunaMs. Cinnamon
― kinder, Sunday, 16 October 2016 21:48 (seven years ago) link
i'm saying tho'!
― the notes the loon doesn't play (ulysses), Monday, 17 October 2016 03:30 (seven years ago) link
The article itself is more reasonable but the tweet says:
"Why is Hillary Clinton so widely loved?"
https://twitter.com/theatlantic/status/795030892137902081
― dinnerboat, Saturday, 5 November 2016 23:05 (seven years ago) link
http://www.celebtricity.com/daycare-busted-running-toddler-fightclub-parents-outraged/
― Mordy, Friday, 18 November 2016 20:01 (seven years ago) link
Phillies' "Pistachio Girl" Fired For Being A White Nationalist
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Monday, 5 December 2016 21:28 (seven years ago) link
Pretty much the textbook definition of reaping what you sow ...
in a nutshell.
― pplains, Monday, 5 December 2016 22:25 (seven years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CzGb9MAVQAAdG61.jpg:large
― The Codling Of The London Suede (Legal Warning Across The Atlantic) (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 8 December 2016 12:44 (seven years ago) link
That is not something a company should be boasting about ffs
― kinder, Thursday, 8 December 2016 13:06 (seven years ago) link
Not saying I agree with them all but...
https://www.themonthly.com.au/blog/evan-williams/2016/07/2016/1481072574/40-most-onion-australian-politics-headlines-2016
― écorché (S-), Wednesday, 21 December 2016 07:04 (seven years ago) link
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-dog-attacks-florida-family-sweater-20170102-story.html
― Jeff, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 10:59 (seven years ago) link
Iowa Republican Trying to Kneecap State Universities Got His “Business Degree” From a Sizzler Franchise
Before entering politics, Chelgren was best known as “Chickenman,” a fun-loving character who wore a chicken hat, wielded a supersoaker full of beer, and biked naked in Iowa’s famous RAGBRAI bike race.
― Einstein, Kazanga, Sitar (abanana), Thursday, 2 March 2017 11:49 (seven years ago) link
this is great thohttp://theiowarepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Chelgren.jpg
― nxd, Thursday, 2 March 2017 11:59 (seven years ago) link
beginning of the End
http://www.latimes.com/business/hollywood/la-fi-ct-cinepolis-junior-20170302-story.html?123
― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 March 2017 17:13 (seven years ago) link
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/04/06/steve-bannon-calls-jared-kushner-a-cuck-and-globalist-behind-his-back.html
― Alba, Thursday, 6 April 2017 18:22 (six years ago) link
as if anyone needed more evidence that "globalist" is just nazi code for "Jew"
― softie (silby), Thursday, 6 April 2017 19:35 (six years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/20/bring-me-a-proper-pudding-jay-rayner-sick-of-half-hearted-dessert-death-spiral
― Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Thursday, 20 April 2017 13:23 (six years ago) link
It’s an endless parade of panna cottas and half-arsed mousses. The kitchen will throw on a bit of granola or a fragment of meringue to make it look like a dessert, but that doesn’t alter the fact. It’s not. It’s a squirt from an udder, set to a wobble courtesy of a boiled down cow’s foot. It’s a failure of ambition.
― Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Thursday, 20 April 2017 13:24 (six years ago) link
In recent reviews, I see I’ve lavished praise on various wobbly mounds. But the effect is cumulative.
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 April 2017 13:33 (six years ago) link
It’s a squirt from an udder,It's some good advice,That you just can't take
― Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Thursday, 20 April 2017 13:41 (six years ago) link
Saw this go by earlier today and really took a while to realize it wasn't photoshopped:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C928JErXYAErSXl.jpg
― joygoat, Thursday, 20 April 2017 15:35 (six years ago) link
2017 pictures you would've sworn were photoshopped if you were shown them in 2015
― Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Thursday, 20 April 2017 16:39 (six years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2017/apr/27/tate-asks-staff-to-pitch-in-to-buy-boat-for-departing-chief-nicholas-serota
― Vlogs from other credible bands such as Shed Seven (DJ Mencap), Friday, 28 April 2017 11:04 (six years ago) link
Teen spots school flag on ground and holds it up until someone can come hoist it back up. abcn.ws/24bTWmf
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 29 May 2017 18:37 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DERkpaeXgAAh48h.jpg
― calzino, Sunday, 9 July 2017 07:36 (six years ago) link
well, maybe not quite - but almost...
― calzino, Sunday, 9 July 2017 07:38 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFMBmnJVoAIIGuW.jpg
― полезные дурак (Sanpaku), Friday, 21 July 2017 21:14 (six years ago) link
two from my hometown
http://www.htrnews.com/story/news/2017/07/18/man-set-fire-manitowoc-police-had-chest-beard-hair-singed/489902001/http://www.htrnews.com/story/news/2017/07/20/manitowoc-alderman-mike-howe-tries-climb-cow-arrested-owi/497335001/
― frogbs, Friday, 21 July 2017 21:26 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFWSHvaWsAAr9n1.jpg
― soref, Saturday, 22 July 2017 15:55 (six years ago) link
― Aglet, Saturday, 22 July 2017 16:01 (six years ago) link
― ogmor, Saturday, 22 July 2017 19:31 (six years ago) link
that seems ripe for at least an hour's worth of find-and-replace fun
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:34 (six years ago) link
No actual german expressionism measures up to the ideal german expressionism for which I yearn
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:35 (six years ago) link
has anyone here read Jacobson's fiction and is it as bad as his op-ed pieces might lead one to assume?
― soref, Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:42 (six years ago) link
O yes
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 01:25 (six years ago) link
he used the phrase "empurpled" ffs
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 02:35 (six years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/aug/02/bus-seats-mistaken-burqas-anti-immigrant-group-norwegian?CMP=share_btn_fb
― Roz, Wednesday, 2 August 2017 10:47 (six years ago) link
:(
― Rimsky-Koskenkorva (Øystein), Wednesday, 2 August 2017 15:18 (six years ago) link
Millennials Unearth an Amazing Hack to Get Free TV: the Antenna
― Old Lynch's Sex Paragraph (Phil D.), Thursday, 3 August 2017 16:40 (six years ago) link
http://www.dailycamera.com/news/ci_29509065/dui-suspect-tells-longmont-police-hes-king-Scotland
― weird echo of the falsies (Tom D.), Thursday, 3 August 2017 17:58 (six years ago) link
Texas man shoots armadillo, bullet ricochets back into his face
― #IMPOTUS (Sanpaku), Friday, 4 August 2017 22:33 (six years ago) link
Uber’s search for a female CEO has been narrowed down to 3 men
― Rimsky-Koskenkorva (Øystein), Saturday, 5 August 2017 18:25 (six years ago) link
that armadillo one is hilarious
The man was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where his jaw was wired shut, according to Rowe.The status of the animal is unknown."We didn't find the armadillo," the sheriff said.
The status of the animal is unknown.
"We didn't find the armadillo," the sheriff said.
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 5 August 2017 18:52 (six years ago) link
New study shows that chimpanzees of all ages and all sexes can learn rock-paper-scissors
― #IMPOTUS (Sanpaku), Friday, 11 August 2017 18:21 (six years ago) link
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2017/08/12/paramount_is_making_a_leonardo_da_vinci_biopic_starring_leonardo_dicaprio.html
― Einstein, Kazanga, Sitar (abanana), Sunday, 13 August 2017 20:33 (six years ago) link
http://jalopnik.com/nyc-transit-union-claims-the-mta-holds-dead-bodies-in-w-1797801971
― As an ilxor, I am uncompromising (El Tomboto), Sunday, 13 August 2017 22:23 (six years ago) link
always wondered about that tbh
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 14 August 2017 01:01 (six years ago) link
People who use public spaces/facilities for their suicides are assholes. Walk deep into grizzly/wolf/vulture territory, and if the experience doesn't deter you, then at least you'll get a decent sky burial with no trauma to unrelated civil servants.
― tactical piñata (Sanpaku), Monday, 14 August 2017 01:09 (six years ago) link
uh yeah I don’t think most people depressed enough to commit suicide are thinking rationally
― mh, Monday, 14 August 2017 01:22 (six years ago) link
People treated for putting sun cream on their eyeballs to watch the eclipse
― Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 31 August 2017 14:22 (six years ago) link
Not an article, but while searching for subhumans on twitter condemning Obama's response to Katrina, I came across this photo/window into profound human dysfunction:
Three days after Hurricane Katrina: Where was Michelle Obama? pic.twitter.com/hjwhsxHdq5— Bikergirl4trump (@TrumpResponders) February 23, 2017
― Glengarry Glen Marshall (Old Lunch), Thursday, 31 August 2017 14:31 (six years ago) link
http://www.politico.eu/article/far-right-german-candidate-promises-to-get-rid-of-arabic-numerals/
― louie mensch (milo z), Saturday, 2 September 2017 15:37 (six years ago) link
https://www.premierchristianity.com/Blog/What-do-Lidl-and-ISIS-have-in-common-They-both-remove-crosses-from-churches
ISIS’ genocide against Christians and destruction of religious architecture has been well documented. But what wasn’t so well known (until this week) is that the German supermarket chain Lidl has also taken it upon themselves to remove Christian crosses.When it came to designing the packaging for their Mousaka, Lidl used the power of Photoshop (other photo editing programs are available) to erase crosses from the roofs of famous Greek Orthodox churches in Santorini (see above photo). Now clearly there’s a huge difference between the persecution and murder of Christians in the Middle East and what Lidl have done. But whether attempts to remove crosses are violent and bloody, or digital and politically correct, the outcome is the same and a war is (deliberately or unintentionally) waged against Christianity’s most important and most central symbol.
When it came to designing the packaging for their Mousaka, Lidl used the power of Photoshop (other photo editing programs are available) to erase crosses from the roofs of famous Greek Orthodox churches in Santorini (see above photo).
Now clearly there’s a huge difference between the persecution and murder of Christians in the Middle East and what Lidl have done. But whether attempts to remove crosses are violent and bloody, or digital and politically correct, the outcome is the same and a war is (deliberately or unintentionally) waged against Christianity’s most important and most central symbol.
― soref, Wednesday, 6 September 2017 21:32 (six years ago) link
Florida Police Warn People Not to Shoot Their Guns at Hurricane Irma
http://time.com/4935117/hurricane-irma-guns-florida/?utm_campaign=time&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&xid=time_socialflow_facebook
― Roz, Tuesday, 12 September 2017 01:56 (six years ago) link
http://thebeehive.bumble.com/bumbleblog/the-dictionary-of-modern-dating
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 13 September 2017 21:57 (six years ago) link
Monster fatberg: Museum of London wants piece for exhibit
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41265408
― koogs, Thursday, 14 September 2017 21:43 (six years ago) link
I would go see that exhibit
― badg, Friday, 15 September 2017 16:18 (six years ago) link
Eight workers are breaking up the object with high-pressure hoses.
Looking forward to the movie about these folks
― El Tomboto, Friday, 15 September 2017 18:21 (six years ago) link
Sign Language Interpreter Warned of ‘Pizza’ and ‘Bear Monster’ at Irma Briefing
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 18 September 2017 00:43 (six years ago) link
IRS awards multimillion-dollar fraud-prevention contract to Equifax
― sleeve, Friday, 6 October 2017 17:34 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL4aVWkV4AAj7YW.jpg:small
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 11 October 2017 19:48 (six years ago) link
Damn rightit's better than theirs
― pplains, Wednesday, 11 October 2017 20:17 (six years ago) link
Internet: Some reaaaal bad takes out there this morning, you have what it takes to top them?Apple: hold my beer https://t.co/4jYFg7MJMM pic.twitter.com/WHSM3scjOJ— Laura Hudson (@laura_hudson) October 11, 2017
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Wednesday, 11 October 2017 20:29 (six years ago) link
holy shit
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 11 October 2017 20:52 (six years ago) link
http://nypost.com/2017/10/12/teen-screamed-so-hard-for-one-direction-her-lungs-collapsed/
― badg, Friday, 13 October 2017 10:14 (six years ago) link
links on that same page:
Do not use a cucumber to 'cleanse' your vaginaWoman almost dies when her unborn baby kicks a whole in her wombVictoria Beckham admits to drinking vinegar on an empty stomachNo one can agree on the color of these sneakers
― koogs, Friday, 13 October 2017 11:33 (six years ago) link
German state railway firm Deutsche Bahn is considering naming a new high speed train after Anne Frank
― Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 31 October 2017 11:51 (six years ago) link
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-10-27/man-who-cut-off-another-testicle-was-trying-to-help/9093286
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 1 November 2017 05:47 (six years ago) link
https://jezebel.com/male-models-break-out-in-30-person-brawl-outside-the-ro-1820076827
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Thursday, 2 November 2017 17:21 (six years ago) link
According to witnesses, the entire confrontation was started by the Brits “being aggressively British... They were being really obnoxious.”
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 2 November 2017 17:22 (six years ago) link
Wisconsin legislators approve bill that would make it legal for toddlers to hunt with guns.
http://apnews.com/f2cc6b4280f342c185244caf7070a12e
― The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 4 November 2017 18:51 (six years ago) link
To prevent revenge porn, Facebook will look at user-submitted nude photos
― silverfish, Thursday, 9 November 2017 14:23 (six years ago) link
I could not believe that was real when I first saw that.
― pplains, Thursday, 9 November 2017 14:23 (six years ago) link
Of all the things I've seen on FB, revenge porn hasn't been one of them.
― pplains, Thursday, 9 November 2017 14:24 (six years ago) link
"are you at risk? type your credit card number here"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 November 2017 18:25 (six years ago) link
CNN: US Navy admits aircrew drew penis in the sky
"US Navy air crew, flying an F/A-18 Growler (Electronic Attack Aircraft) assigned to Electronic Attack Squadron 130 based at Naval Air Station Whidbey Island, Wash., flew an air pattern over Okanogan County, Washington, on Thursday, November 16, that left a condensed air trail resembling an obscene image to observers on the ground," Navy spokesperson Lt. Cmdr. Leslie Hubbell said.
― Sanpaku, Saturday, 18 November 2017 00:50 (six years ago) link
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/17/movies/prince-william-prince-harry-star-wars.html
At a taping of The Hollywood Reporter’s Actors Roundtable show, Mr. Boyega, who plays Finn in the movie, confirmed that the Prince William and Prince Harry will play Stormtroopers in a scene alongside him.
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Saturday, 18 November 2017 06:55 (six years ago) link
Marginal, mostly for the copyeditor channeling their inner Beavis:
People: Surgery Gives 1-Month-Old Kitten the Anus She Desperately Needed
Cluck the 1-month-old kitten will no longer be the butt of anyone’s jokes.The rescue cat was born with an Imperforate Anus, a birth defect which caused her to come into this world sans butthole. As we know, everyone poops, so everyone needs an anus.
The rescue cat was born with an Imperforate Anus, a birth defect which caused her to come into this world sans butthole. As we know, everyone poops, so everyone needs an anus.
― Sanpaku, Friday, 1 December 2017 15:44 (six years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/dec/20/loud-orgies-of-mexican-fish-could-deafen-dolphins-say-scientists
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Wednesday, 20 December 2017 16:49 (six years ago) link
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/12/iced-tea-company-stock-triples-after-adding-blockchain-to-name/
― silverfish, Thursday, 21 December 2017 18:09 (six years ago) link
just checked the date nope not April 1st so what gives
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 21 December 2017 23:29 (six years ago) link
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/an-open-invitation-to-grace-to-go-on-the-date-you-should-have-had-lbkr/
But what might have been hardest for me to read was this line: “You guys are all the fucking same.”Because that must be a terrible thing for you to have come to believe. A belief that I can actually completely understand, given the recent climate.But I’m wondering there’s a chance I can help change your mind–even just a little bit. If nothing else, at least try to provide you with an evening that makes you feel valued, appreciated and respected.
Because that must be a terrible thing for you to have come to believe. A belief that I can actually completely understand, given the recent climate.
But I’m wondering there’s a chance I can help change your mind–even just a little bit. If nothing else, at least try to provide you with an evening that makes you feel valued, appreciated and respected.
― e-woke (NotEnough), Friday, 19 January 2018 17:56 (six years ago) link
Oh that fucking website, everything they publish seems to be in this weird needy doesn't-get-it "I'm a nice guy!" mode.
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 19 January 2018 17:59 (six years ago) link
This is a guy who lived in the same Chinese city as me, a couple of years after I left, so I probably know some of the people he's talking about, and his point of view is really very deeply odd - https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/white-man-chinese-women-a-story-of-prostitution-romance-and-celibacy/
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 19 January 2018 18:02 (six years ago) link
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/23/world/europe/dog-shoots-man-russia.html
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 25 January 2018 16:47 (six years ago) link
this is a really bad yakov smirnoff joke
― mh, Thursday, 25 January 2018 16:57 (six years ago) link
Astronomers Say Giant Disco Ball in Space Is Bad for Science
― silverfish, Friday, 26 January 2018 21:01 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DU7YgLdXkAEkV4a.jpg:small
― mookieproof, Thursday, 1 February 2018 15:11 (six years ago) link
https://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/museum-london/event-detail?id=161209FATBERG!
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 5 February 2018 13:29 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DVaXyrnX4AIry8C.jpg
― thirst trap your hare (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 8 February 2018 16:50 (six years ago) link
fuck these fucking people, except in a bad way
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 8 February 2018 17:04 (six years ago) link
That is one of the best ones so far. That could basically be an onion weekender cover.
― silverfish, Thursday, 8 February 2018 17:09 (six years ago) link
Math error results in Norwegian Olympic team ordering 15,000 eggs https://t.co/UkM54b390L pic.twitter.com/v85oJIUfvQ— The A.V. Club (@TheAVClub) February 10, 2018
― iCloudius (cryptosicko), Saturday, 10 February 2018 19:48 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DWqqj34UMAAS63e.jpg:small
― mookieproof, Thursday, 22 February 2018 20:36 (six years ago) link
http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/375978-oklahoma-school-district-installs-bulletproof-shelters-in-elementary
― Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 20:08 (six years ago) link
Worshippers clutching AR-15 rifles and some wearing bullet crowns, participated in a commitment ceremony today at World Peace and Unification Sanctuary, in Newfoundland, Pa. The event led a nearby school to cancel classes for the day. Photos @jacquelinelarma pic.twitter.com/GXzrZeK41z— AP Images (@AP_Images) February 28, 2018
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 20:25 (six years ago) link
So basically just like Beneath the Planet of the Apes
― silverfish, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 20:30 (six years ago) link
Alaska's congressman suggests more Jews would have survived the Holocaust if they were armed
(could fill this thread every day with Murican gun stuff tbh)
― Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 20:53 (six years ago) link
People have been saying that for years, I pretty much lump it in under the general heading of “blood libel”
― direct to consumer online mattress brand (silby), Wednesday, 28 February 2018 21:01 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/rKZcxNL.jpg
― scoff walker (diamonddave85), Friday, 2 March 2018 15:16 (six years ago) link
Fruit Flies Get Drunk Before Sex, After Sexual Rejection and in Pretty Much Every Other Situation, Too
― Screaming into the void has never been easier (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 14 March 2018 04:31 (six years ago) link
Nun Dies in Court While Battling Katy Perry Over a Convent
― Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Friday, 16 March 2018 12:51 (six years ago) link
http://catholicherald.co.uk/news/2018/04/03/parish-criticised-after-flying-blessed-sacrament-from-drone/?platform=hootsuite
― soref, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 18:15 (five years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dnk-vC2Djk
― soref, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 18:18 (five years ago) link
“Is curing patients a sustainable business model?” Goldman Sachs analysts ask
― silverfish, Friday, 13 April 2018 13:10 (five years ago) link
jesus christ
― DACA Flocka Flame (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 13 April 2018 13:13 (five years ago) link
A serial pooper targeted a N.J. high school track. It was a nearby school superintendent.
― the masseduction of lauryn hill (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 3 May 2018 20:53 (five years ago) link
Romance writer's bid to stop authors from using word 'cocky' fails in court
― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 4 June 2018 16:44 (five years ago) link
There's no evidence having sex with robots is healthy, report says...
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/06/05/theres-no-evidence-having-sex-robots-healthy-report-says/672096002/
― earlnash, Tuesday, 5 June 2018 22:39 (five years ago) link
Okay, seriously, down to the photo, how is this NOT an Onion story?
https://www.wsj.com/articles/when-did-a-famous-guitar-smashing-occur-one-fan-insists-everyone-has-it-wrong-1528212278
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 6 June 2018 14:27 (five years ago) link
“I don’t know when the wretched thing was taken,” she said, adding, “I don’t mind it being ambiguous.”
― mh, Wednesday, 6 June 2018 14:35 (five years ago) link
there is a comment on that article that might be Lefsetz under an alias
― mh, Wednesday, 6 June 2018 14:53 (five years ago) link
red alert, we have a red alert
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/06/13/style/dads-are-cool.html
That hot “retired millennial” look“This is a logical extension or evolution of normcore,” said Brian Trunzo, the senior men’s wear editor at the trend forecasting firm WGSN. He calls the look “retired millennial.” “There’s something uniquely American about it, and very real, red-blooded man, like ‘I’m gonna wear a baggy plaid shirt with relaxed khakis because I’m chilling and I’m comfortable in my manhood.’”Emily Segal, a founder of the design and technology think tank Nemesis Global and a former member of K-Hole, the trend forecasting group that helped identify the normcore phenomenon, has a more expansive view of the movement.“I don’t think it just has to do with being a dad,” Ms. Segal said. “What we call dad style is stuff that is self-consciously unsexy, or even un-self-consciously unsexy.”“Brands are trying produce mystery in this overexposed atmosphere,” Ms. Segal added. “They’re doing it by either picking something extremely random or something extremely obvious. Dad style is both.”
Emily Segal, a founder of the design and technology think tank Nemesis Global and a former member of K-Hole, the trend forecasting group that helped identify the normcore phenomenon, has a more expansive view of the movement.
“I don’t think it just has to do with being a dad,” Ms. Segal said. “What we call dad style is stuff that is self-consciously unsexy, or even un-self-consciously unsexy.”
“Brands are trying produce mystery in this overexposed atmosphere,” Ms. Segal added. “They’re doing it by either picking something extremely random or something extremely obvious. Dad style is both.”
https://i.imgur.com/VWVa5Ec.png
― obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Thursday, 14 June 2018 15:52 (five years ago) link
we have Mac DeMarco to blame for this, don't we?
― evol j, Thursday, 14 June 2018 16:02 (five years ago) link
is now the time to open up a boutique of $1500+ windbreakers from the 90s, procured from goodwills across the midwest for $3 each
― obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Thursday, 14 June 2018 16:03 (five years ago) link
i was rocking this shit back in the early 90s. check out this totally normal photo where i'm just trailblazing the nonsexy dad look
https://i.imgur.com/oucNAHk.jpg
― obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Thursday, 14 June 2018 16:07 (five years ago) link
https://i.redd.it/m8wtquc1z4my.jpg
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 14 June 2018 16:56 (five years ago) link
That is basically how I dress, for roughly 10% of the price.
In my younger days I would have maybe been happy to be ahead of the curve, now I just feel embarrassed for everyone involved, including myself for the minuscule bit of influence I might have had on this trend
This is wrong and nobody should be happy about it.
― silverfish, Thursday, 14 June 2018 17:26 (five years ago) link
― obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Thursday, June 14, 2018 12:07 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
the way the white parts of that jacket blend into the background freaked me the fuck out for a second.
― evol j, Thursday, 14 June 2018 17:29 (five years ago) link
yeah, my sister texts it to me out of the blue every once in a while and we always crack up. reminds me of the try suicide skit on mr show
https://i.imgur.com/0V6WyoF.jpg
― obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Thursday, 14 June 2018 17:40 (five years ago) link
oh thank god i wasn't the only one who was creeped out by that photo
― Nhex, Thursday, 14 June 2018 19:45 (five years ago) link
Haha me too
― kinder, Thursday, 14 June 2018 20:46 (five years ago) link
Engadget: World's smallest violin uses MEMS, plays only for you
― Roomba with an attitude (Sanpaku), Sunday, 1 July 2018 01:54 (five years ago) link
Lol
― Roz, Sunday, 1 July 2018 03:48 (five years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DjAeXOFUwAEedU8.jpg
― mookieproof, Thursday, 26 July 2018 17:30 (five years ago) link
straight into my veins
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 26 July 2018 17:59 (five years ago) link
https://www.thestar.com/news/cannabis/2018/08/08/cannabis-company-begins-first-federally-approved-study-of-cbd-treatment-for-pets.html
― dinnerboat, Thursday, 9 August 2018 18:47 (five years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/6dldz71.png
― iatee, Friday, 5 October 2018 15:30 (five years ago) link
https://globalnews.ca/news/4549159/cookie-monster-cat-pajama/
― Engles in the Outfield (cryptosicko), Monday, 15 October 2018 15:40 (five years ago) link
https://nypost.com/2018/09/01/nyc-should-stop-coddling-young-white-bros-on-bikes/
"The Dale Earnhardts of the handlebars turn into colicky babies over every minor impediment to their progress. They tweet their rage whenever a bike lane is blocked by any of the inevitable nuisances — like utility digs, construction and fire trucks. You know, the things most New Yorkers deal with every single day while taking it in their stride. Fury’s in their blood, as was true of the guys who wished me death by dump truck over my last bike lane-bashing column. Bring it on, boys! But spare the women and children."
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 28 October 2018 22:36 (five years ago) link
Whiney writes for the NY Post now?
― President Keyes, Monday, 29 October 2018 14:48 (five years ago) link
just the title, but still
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/chess-world-rattled-as-someone-nearly-wins-game/
― silverfish, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 17:56 (five years ago) link
They developed their own metrics: the Stool Hardness and Transit (Shat) score and the Found and Retrieved Time (Fart) score.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/27/shit-a-brick-doctors-swallow-lego-to-allay-parents-fears?CMP=fb_gu
― Roz, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 13:43 (five years ago) link
the guardian breaking big stories this week
― President Keyes, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 14:38 (five years ago) link
Nigerian president denies dying and being replaced by clone
― Monica Kindle (Tom D.), Monday, 3 December 2018 15:33 (five years ago) link
Just what a clone would say.
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Monday, 3 December 2018 16:41 (five years ago) link
from April 2018Hand dryers suck in fecal bacteria and blow it all over your hands, study finds
― Bnad, Thursday, 6 December 2018 03:51 (five years ago) link
Listen there’s fecal bacteria everywhere and it’s best not to worry about it
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Thursday, 6 December 2018 04:11 (five years ago) link
Yeah my other half loves to point out when he farts that I an "breathing in poo particles". Thanks, guy.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 6 December 2018 05:17 (five years ago) link
More in the weird news vein, but:
No you Kant: Russians reject German thinker's name for airporthttps://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/136E6/production/_104609597_kantpaint27novgetty.jpg
― Sanpaku, Thursday, 6 December 2018 17:09 (five years ago) link
https://www.pcmag.com/news/365332/amazon-robot-sprays-54-workers-with-bear-repellent
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Thursday, 6 December 2018 22:41 (five years ago) link
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2018/12/07/make-better-choices-endangered-hawaiian-monk-seals-keep-getting-eels-stuck-up-their-noses-scientists-want-them-stop/?utm_term=.981b743f0702
― aphextriplet85 (mh), Friday, 7 December 2018 19:12 (five years ago) link
[
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 8 December 2018 20:32 (five years ago) link
How Pot Noodle almost killed man - and the hero in his undies who saved him
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 8 December 2018 20:33 (five years ago) link
British Medical Journal: Parachute use to prevent death and major trauma when jumping from aircraft: randomized controlled trial
Parachute use did not reduce death or major traumatic injury when jumping from aircraft in the first randomized evaluation of this intervention. However, the trial was only able to enroll participants on small stationary aircraft on the ground, suggesting cautious extrapolation to high altitude jumps.
― Sanpaku, Thursday, 13 December 2018 23:09 (five years ago) link
A classic of the genre (pretty sure they've published that article, or a variation of it, multiple times over the years)
― gbx, Friday, 14 December 2018 04:37 (five years ago) link
Judge rules that New York's state ban on nunchucks is unconstitutional https://t.co/cW1gPKA0o5 pic.twitter.com/r13l8XCoJC— The Hill (@thehill) December 18, 2018
― Neil S, Tuesday, 18 December 2018 10:14 (five years ago) link
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61xa75yZ%2ByL._SY606_.jpg
― Ludo, Tuesday, 18 December 2018 11:56 (five years ago) link
This spoon and fork attach to your phone to lower disposable utensil usage. pic.twitter.com/CxeeRlTcZK— Cheddar (@cheddar) January 18, 2019
― Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 07:41 (five years ago) link
finally, an opportunity to decrease disposable utensil usage
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 16:42 (five years ago) link
Florida being Florida
https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-florida-politician-face-licking-20190207-story.html
A Florida politician allegedly made a habit of licking men's faces. She has now resigned.
"I would love to be part of a city that's in the news for good things, not dirt and garbage."
― earlnash, Friday, 8 February 2019 01:24 (five years ago) link
florida-politician-face-licking
― Norm’s Superego (silby), Friday, 8 February 2019 01:26 (five years ago) link
"I mean, she licked a lot of people, sir. So everyone kind of talked about the fact that she licked people. That's what she did when she got drunk."
― earlnash, Friday, 8 February 2019 01:27 (five years ago) link
https://www.mlb.com/cut4/zach-britton-has-changed-his-name-to-zack-britton
― calstars, Monday, 11 February 2019 16:32 (five years ago) link
so fucking lame
― Karl Malone, Monday, 11 February 2019 16:36 (five years ago) link
when he changes his mind and wants to come back home - WHEN - he is not welcome
prodigal dumbass
After joining, he changed the spelling of his name from Brian to Bryan to make it easier to sign autographs.
― kinder, Monday, 11 February 2019 18:12 (five years ago) link
still mad about britton
more like bitten, by a snake, i hope
jerk
― Karl Malone, Monday, 11 February 2019 22:18 (five years ago) link
Zach is clearly the cool spelling. Zack is the Saved By The Bell spelling.
― kinder, Tuesday, 12 February 2019 09:33 (five years ago) link
Zak McKracken 4lyfe
― Øystein, Tuesday, 12 February 2019 10:54 (five years ago) link
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona/2019/02/18/grand-canyon-tourists-exposed-radiation-safety-manager-says/2876435002/
― mh, Tuesday, 19 February 2019 19:02 (five years ago) link
Eh. You'd have to stand between the two cabinets for a year to get a dose higher than that of homes in Ramsar, Iran, which has a cancer incidence no higher than neighboring villages.
― The feminine side of (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 19 February 2019 19:40 (five years ago) link
it was more about the comical hijinks of disposal
and the return of the empty buckets
― mh, Tuesday, 19 February 2019 19:46 (five years ago) link
On Bourbon Street, battle of Huge Ass Beers vs. Giant Ass Beer lands in New Orleans court
― moistly harmless (Sanpaku), Saturday, 2 March 2019 04:45 (five years ago) link
ugh, my bad
Son defends parents caught in college admissions scandal while smoking blunt
― mh, Thursday, 14 March 2019 17:01 (five years ago) link
In her practice, Dr. Levine said, she regularly sees college freshmen who “have had to come home from Emory or Brown because they don’t have the minimal kinds of adult skills that one needs to be in college.”One came home because there was a rat in the dorm room. Some didn’t like their roommates. Others said it was too much work, and they had never learned independent study skills. One didn’t like to eat food with sauce. Her whole life, her parents had helped her avoid sauce, calling friends before going to their houses for dinner. At college, she didn’t know how to cope with the cafeteria options — covered in sauce.
One came home because there was a rat in the dorm room. Some didn’t like their roommates. Others said it was too much work, and they had never learned independent study skills. One didn’t like to eat food with sauce. Her whole life, her parents had helped her avoid sauce, calling friends before going to their houses for dinner. At college, she didn’t know how to cope with the cafeteria options — covered in sauce.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/16/style/snowplow-parenting-scandal.html
― mookieproof, Monday, 18 March 2019 17:34 (five years ago) link
taste's very strange
― moose; squirrel (silby), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:40 (five years ago) link
At college, covered in sauce
― We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:41 (five years ago) link
cafeteria food... with club sauce
― kinder, Monday, 18 March 2019 17:47 (five years ago) link
My son definitely doesn't like sauce on anything and it is very annoying. It looks like he's finally starting to get over it though now at age 10.
― silverfish, Monday, 18 March 2019 18:35 (five years ago) link
bigby's crushing declaration
1/ If Trump starts building his border wall, he can invoke something called a Declaration of Taking. It's like eminent domain on steroids. A court grants title to the land to the federal government. Bulldozers can roll the next day.— ProPublica (@ProPublica) March 25, 2019
― mookieproof, Monday, 25 March 2019 21:41 (five years ago) link
Declaration of Taking just sounds like something out of a D&D campaign.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 02:29 (five years ago) link
Bags of holding are pretty central to the ruleset.
― with Chew Guard™ technology (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 05:23 (five years ago) link
Taken 4: Declaration of Taking
― We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 14:12 (five years ago) link
somehow I've never noticed before that the first post in this 9-yr old thread is about Trump's Scottish golf course
― rob, Tuesday, 26 March 2019 15:47 (five years ago) link
life that looks like etc...
Now Tilda Swinton, who I don’t know and never heard of, has joined them.
Ivanka showing some her dad's takedown skills
― We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 15:56 (five years ago) link
wonder if anyone ever heard from this Tilda character after this golf-related stance
― mh, Tuesday, 26 March 2019 16:02 (five years ago) link
not exactly right for this thread but my god this reads like a clickhole article, right down to the guy's bio. i kept waiting for the twist
https://www.androidpolice.com/2015/09/25/jbl-xtreme-and-flip-3-review-competition-destroyed/
― Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 4 April 2019 22:52 (four years ago) link
Rhino poacher trampled to death by elephant; remains eaten by lions
― Kardashev scale sex tape (Sanpaku), Sunday, 7 April 2019 03:42 (four years ago) link
Better than they deserve tbqh
― moose; squirrel (silby), Sunday, 7 April 2019 05:54 (four years ago) link
Haha, came to post that same story! How about this one:
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/apr/06/sentencing-their-dog-to-death-how-the-anti-vax-movement-spread-to-pets
"Sam Kovac can’t say for sure what prompted it, but in the past few weeks the Sydney veterinarian has been faced with the same alarming, beguiling question over and over: “Will this vaccination give my dog autism?”
(Article would be funnier if it didn't involve dummies doing the wrong thing for their poor pets)
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 8 April 2019 01:51 (four years ago) link
Cue Temple Grandin on the natural state of non-human mammals resembling human autism.
― Kardashev scale sex tape (Sanpaku), Monday, 8 April 2019 05:15 (four years ago) link
https://fox8.com/2019/04/11/florida-man-arrested-outside-olive-garden-after-eating-pasta-belligerently/
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 15 April 2019 15:36 (four years ago) link
whither emily post?
― d'ILM for Murder (Hadrian VIII), Monday, 15 April 2019 15:45 (four years ago) link
However, before being placed in handcuffs officers gave Padgett a paper towel so he could wipe the pasta off his face.
wipe privilege
― We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Monday, 15 April 2019 15:58 (four years ago) link
That's funny!
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 15 April 2019 16:37 (four years ago) link
https://www.hs.fi/ulkomaat/art-2000006096630.html
This is a Finnish newspaper, but the headline translates to:
The beluga whale Norway thought to be a Russian spy is in fact a therapy whale for children
― Tuomas, Tuesday, 7 May 2019 12:32 (four years ago) link
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 7 May 2019 12:37 (four years ago) link
just you and meeat fudge banana swirljust you and mewe'll travel round the worldjust you and metherapy whale
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 7 May 2019 16:20 (four years ago) link
a former Netflix creative director just raised $1.6 million for a startup that sells "straight edge" water in tall boy cans and their tagline is "nothing's better than water at murdering your thirst"https://t.co/KJI6Dx0tWd pic.twitter.com/dXBva5A0uP— Ryan Broderick (@broderick) May 7, 2019
― gbx, Tuesday, 7 May 2019 19:35 (four years ago) link
I'd buy that.
― don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Tuesday, 7 May 2019 19:46 (four years ago) link
Is there an inverse for this thread? Because I was 100 percent sure this was actually a real article/quote.
John Bolton: ‘An Attack On Two Saudi Oil Tankers Is An Attack On All Americans’ https://t.co/Dgny7ss6pJ pic.twitter.com/nvxyCtNCVh— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 15, 2019
― zama roma ding dong (Eric H.), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 20:24 (four years ago) link
hahaha i thought the same when i saw it just now
― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 23:26 (four years ago) link
Looks like we've come full circle:
https://babylonbee.com
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 22:00 (four years ago) link
"I'm sorry, I know we're trying to worship the King of Kings here, but am I the only one around here who knows the difference between 'its' and 'it's'?" he said after shouting for the worship band to stop the song. "Does anyone else in this freaking church have any freaking idea where an apostrophe is supposed to go? ANYONE!?!?"
from one of the few non-abortion stories
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 13:45 (four years ago) link
the one about Jesus writing OWN THE LIBS in the sand was pretty good, I'll give 'em that.
― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:16 (four years ago) link
It's just the word "models," but this one made me go 'WTF does Kendall Jenner know?' for a second:
So Far, Models Are Predicting a Trump Victory in 2020
― dinnerboat, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:54 (four years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D7sj6GmWsAA30Ez.jpg
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 06:42 (four years ago) link
talk to transformer foreign policy
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:09 (four years ago) link
I hear a gram of American freedom costs you two family members
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 21:09 (four years ago) link
US energy department rebrands fossil fuels as 'molecules of freedom'
― despondently sipping tomato soup (Sanpaku), Thursday, 30 May 2019 01:21 (four years ago) link
Oh, shit, you beat me to this...
― despondently sipping tomato soup (Sanpaku), Thursday, 30 May 2019 01:22 (four years ago) link
EVERYTHING
― Flood-Resistant Mirror-Drilling Machine (rushomancy), Thursday, 30 May 2019 01:26 (four years ago) link
This
Trump and Macron's symbolic friendship tree 'has died'
and this
Milo Yiannopoulos named marshal for 'Straight Pride' parade
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 10 June 2019 11:55 (four years ago) link
I think it's a sign of how ridiculous things have gotten that neither of those stories struck me as particularly absurd or onion-esque when I read about them earlier.
― Roz, Monday, 10 June 2019 14:28 (four years ago) link
Justin Bieber challenges Tom Cruise to a fight
― I don't get wet because I am tall and thin and I am afraid of people (Eliza D.), Monday, 10 June 2019 14:31 (four years ago) link
not gonna lie i would def pirate a pay-per-view stream of that match
― God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own. (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 10 June 2019 14:32 (four years ago) link
Fraser Anning candidate who is robot sex expert given Queen's birthday honour
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/jun/11/fraser-anning-candidate-given-queens-birthday-honour
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 11 June 2019 07:48 (four years ago) link
"Eating giant crab legs for YouTube has made her a millionaire, she says."
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/11/style/youtube-mukbang-bloveslife-bethany-gaskin.html
― joygoat, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 15:33 (four years ago) link
For Trayce's story, some context: Fraser Anning is an Australian Nazi
― And according to some websites, there were “sexcapades.” (James Morrison), Friday, 14 June 2019 03:46 (four years ago) link
Yes sorry I meant to add context as to who he was but got distracted. Also I should have pasted his photo, good god.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 14 June 2019 04:08 (four years ago) link
If anyone LOOKED like a Nazi who wanted to fuck robots...
― And according to some websites, there were “sexcapades.” (James Morrison), Friday, 14 June 2019 06:28 (four years ago) link
The Onion a month ago pic.twitter.com/LTdVtwD42f— Doug Hageman (@DougHageman) June 14, 2019
shit that is an onion article ...
― calzino, Saturday, 15 June 2019 16:37 (four years ago) link
got another capitalism greatest hit. i will give you one hundred thousand dollars if you can guess the brand by the end pic.twitter.com/bwfJJLabg4— Ryan Simmons (@rysimmons) June 27, 2019
― mookieproof, Thursday, 27 June 2019 18:45 (four years ago) link
lol, i thought that was the superbowl cotton ad; ending cracked me up
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 27 June 2019 19:50 (four years ago) link
hahahaha wut
― d'ILM for Murder (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:13 (four years ago) link
― gbx, Friday, 28 June 2019 17:23 (four years ago) link
darkhttps://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/31/business/jeffrey-epstein-eugenics.html
Jeffrey E. Epstein, the wealthy financier and accused sex trafficker, had an unusual dream: He hoped to seed the human race with his DNA by impregnating women at his vast New Mexico ranch.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 20:06 (four years ago) link
Jeffrey Eugenides
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 20:10 (four years ago) link
Dairy Queen burgers are not made of human flesh, county coroner is forced to confirm https://t.co/5aHIFFVfcR— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) August 25, 2019
― hedonic treadmill class action (Sanpaku), Sunday, 25 August 2019 20:51 (four years ago) link
They should have gone full-Onion with this one, e.g. "The suspect, who bears an uncanny resemblance to the two-time Oscar and three-time Golden Globe-winning star of such films as Argo and Batman v. Superman, is believed to be in his mid to late 20s."
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2019/09/11/ben-affleck-look-alike-wanted-after-milton-lcbo-theft.html
― dinnerboat, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 14:21 (four years ago) link
Newsweek abases itself, again:
Massive Semen Explosion after Blaze Hits Bull Artificial Insemination Facility, Firefighters Forced to Dodge 'Projectiles'
― hedonic treadmill class action (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 06:36 (four years ago) link
bullkake
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 11:35 (four years ago) link
Ugh. Don't you hate it when that happens?
― StanM, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 12:07 (four years ago) link
lol I was thinking "What does Glenn Beck have to do with this now?"
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 13:52 (four years ago) link
Yarram Herd Services Committee vice chairman Aaron Thomas said the loss of 100 cryogenic cylinders of cattle semen will be a "huge blow" for the farmers.
i have questions about australian farmers' bull-milking methods
― Is it true the star Beetle Juice is going to explode in 2012 (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 14:06 (four years ago) link
reminds me, what do you call a field full of masturbating cows?
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 18:18 (four years ago) link
beef stroganoff
― president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 18:56 (four years ago) link
This wearable chair could change how we work and travel pic.twitter.com/KO8QoUcrut— Tech Insider (@techinsider) September 18, 2019
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 20:53 (four years ago) link
i dunno man for a music festival i might be willing to suffer the indignity
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 21:35 (four years ago) link
Not sure why that video is 3 minutes long.
Man gets on bus, but can't use the bus seats because he has tech equiv of a shooting stick strapped to his arse.
― koogs, Thursday, 19 September 2019 04:13 (four years ago) link
man is used to have chair strapped to his legs, sits down while not wearing them, breaks his assbone, sues, profit.
― StanM, Thursday, 19 September 2019 04:51 (four years ago) link
can't wait until businesses require employees to bring their own chairs to work
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 19 September 2019 13:40 (four years ago) link
Kids having to bring their own chairs to school - can see that happening under a Tory government <----- trenchant social commentary
― Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 September 2019 13:43 (four years ago) link
https://slate.com/technology/2019/09/the-infinite-scream-twitter-account-stopped-screaming-to-talk-impeachment.html
― wasdnuos (abanana), Thursday, 26 September 2019 23:33 (four years ago) link
No ice. No stirrer. No glass. We're redefining how whisky can be enjoyed. Introducing The Glenlivet Capsule Collection #noglassrequired pic.twitter.com/F4MGErsfZM— The Glenlivet (@TheGlenlivet) October 2, 2019
― silverfish, Saturday, 5 October 2019 03:46 (four years ago) link
Justin Bieber defends buying designer kittenshttps://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-49944571
"Justin Bieber has told animal rights group Peta to "suck it" after it criticised him for buying designer kittens rather than re-homing cats from a shelter. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the singer spent $35,000 (£28,000) on a pair of Savannah cats named Sushi and Tuna. ...
Sushi and Tuna are not the Canadian star's first exotic pets. In 2013 Justin was given a Capuchin monkey called OG Mally, which he tried to take on tour to Germany. The monkey was confiscated from him and donated to a German zoo."
I learn from another report that Bieber's monkey hasn't fared very well in the Zoo. "He still has issues speaking the Capuchin language. He still tries to imitate human speech. He sometimes makes weird scratchy sounds which are not typical for Capuchins. That’s why we think he still tries to talk to humans. ... he was taken away from his mother and natural family way too early. He did not learn to be a monkey."
You know, that raises a question. What if Superman's capsule had landed in the jungles of Paraguay, and he had been raised by capuchin monkeys instead of Ma and Pa Kent? He would be Tarzan, but with extraordinary powers. Instead of fighting General Zod he probably wouldn't give a toss about him - what would he care if the human race is enslaved by a bunch of Kryptonian fascists? - unless of course they tried to cut down the jungles, in which case he would be very upset.
Could Superman breed with monkeys? I know there's a comic where Superman landed in the Soviet Union - Superman: Red Son - but what if he landed in the jungle? What if he landed in the oceans, and was raised by dolphins? What if his capsule crashed into Jupiter instead and he was raised by space whales or floating gas creatures? The mind boggles.
― Ashley Pomeroy, Saturday, 5 October 2019 16:22 (four years ago) link
xp finally, a whiskey pod to entice the future drinker who used to make tide pod memes
― mh, Saturday, 5 October 2019 16:32 (four years ago) link
Sarah YorkGuys I don’t know how to tell you this. Teens are gonna put these in their butts.Local IdiotTeens? I'm 37.
― StanM, Saturday, 5 October 2019 17:14 (four years ago) link
mmm lukewarm whiskey with gelatin
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 5 October 2019 20:00 (four years ago) link
seaweed based rather than gelatin, i thought, assuming they are the same as the capsules they handed out during the marathon.
but you've still got a mouth full of seaweed and whisky.
( https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/london-marathon-edible-water-bottle-capsules-a8889796.html )
― koogs, Saturday, 5 October 2019 21:20 (four years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/oct/21/drill-rapper-rico-racks-jailed-and-banned-from-rapping-certain-words
As part of his sentence, he was given a criminal behaviour order for five years. It prevents him from rapping words such as bandoe (a house used for drug dealing and consumption), trapping (dealing), and connect (a drugs contact). He is also banned from saying whipping, a slang term used for driving that has also been used to refer to drug preparation.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 08:53 (four years ago) link
New York arm-wrestling legend and his mom arrested for selling ‘Apricots From God’ as bogus cancer cure. https://t.co/pwy2h39FMo— Jeanne Whalen (@JeanneWhalen) October 24, 2019
― mookieproof, Thursday, 24 October 2019 14:35 (four years ago) link
Is...is everyone at The Athletic OK? Correct me if I’m wrong but it appears they have sent someone to Ireland to talk to someone who can’t remember taking a throw in. At what point do we stage an intervention? pic.twitter.com/40QMRRCPNn— Daley (@DaleyAFC) October 24, 2019
actual piece is paywalled but these excerpts are certainly tantalising
― wot's the tea mum? (not beef again) (DJ Mencap), Sunday, 24 November 2019 20:56 (four years ago) link
Guy makes dating app that features just one guy -- himself
― Lee626, Tuesday, 26 November 2019 10:20 (four years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/CGpdynW.jpg
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 20:07 (four years ago) link
I'm the assistant manager of my regional bathroom
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 20:28 (four years ago) link
Angry Mob Of Lawyers Attacks Hospital, Causing Deaths Of 3 Patients
Members of the mob, dressed primarily in dark suits, white shirts and black ties, and armed with sticks, beat hospital employees, damaged hospital equipment and smashed the doors of emergency theaters. Some fired gunshots, torched hospital and police vehicles and blocked the entry of arriving ambulances.
― полезный инструмент (Sanpaku), Thursday, 12 December 2019 06:07 (four years ago) link
Cripes
― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 12 December 2019 07:33 (four years ago) link
Conservative radio host wishes for a ‘nice school shooting’ to distract from impeachment
― silverfish, Thursday, 19 December 2019 14:18 (four years ago) link
“Given the history of school violence that has plagued our community, 710 KNUS confirms that an inappropriate comment was made on the Chuck & Julie show by co-host Chuck Bonniwell,” the station said Wednesday evening. “A programming decision was made to end the program immediately.”The Colorado Times Recorder was the first to report Bonniwell’s remark.KNUS said it will fill the newly empty time slot with former Trump administration official Sebastian Gorka’s “America First” show.The station is in the middle of an internal investigation over social media posts made on the Russian social media site VK. A user on that site with the same name as a KNUS producer, Kirk Widlund, posted pro-Nazi material that was uncovered by a local antifascist group.Widlund has denied ever using the site. KNUS manager Brian Taylor declined to comment on the matter to TPM last Friday.
The Colorado Times Recorder was the first to report Bonniwell’s remark.
KNUS said it will fill the newly empty time slot with former Trump administration official Sebastian Gorka’s “America First” show.
The station is in the middle of an internal investigation over social media posts made on the Russian social media site VK. A user on that site with the same name as a KNUS producer, Kirk Widlund, posted pro-Nazi material that was uncovered by a local antifascist group.
Widlund has denied ever using the site. KNUS manager Brian Taylor declined to comment on the matter to TPM last Friday.
― Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone), Thursday, 19 December 2019 17:55 (four years ago) link
cool then
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 19 December 2019 18:00 (four years ago) link
no knus is good knus
― mookieproof, Thursday, 19 December 2019 19:52 (four years ago) link
Prominent lawyer Jolyon Maugham clubs fox to death while wearing kimono
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 26 December 2019 23:50 (four years ago) link
Flat Earth FC: the football club who represent a conspiracy theory
― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 27 January 2020 11:24 (four years ago) link
https://preview.redd.it/uzpb2xho16231.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=e26812c9bd3990e62eb0a0635f266692bd3bc573
― pomenitul, Monday, 27 January 2020 11:28 (four years ago) link
NASA FIXES MARS LANDER BY TELLING IT TO HIT ITSELF WITH A SHOVELhttps://futurism.com/the-byte/nasa-mars-lander-hit-itself-shovel
― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Saturday, 21 March 2020 07:06 (four years ago) link
Lol literally the most Jared Leto thing ever: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/jared-leto-emerges-12-day-meditation-retreat-find-mind-blowing-coronavirus-pandemic-1285065
― Roz, Sunday, 22 March 2020 12:59 (four years ago) link
That’s kind of an ethical dilemma for the meditation guide leader! Do you break the silence, several days in, to let the participants know?(imo YES of course you do)
― Karl Malone, Sunday, 22 March 2020 14:22 (four years ago) link
Was it Big Brother in Germany that didn't tell them? Is that still the case? They may be the safest people on the planet.
― koogs, Sunday, 22 March 2020 14:56 (four years ago) link
they told them
https://static01.nyt.com/images/2020/03/17/arts/17virus-bigbrother1/17virus-bigbrother1-jumbo.jpg
― Number None, Sunday, 22 March 2020 14:59 (four years ago) link
Ha I remember USA Big Brother when 9/11 happened
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 19:46 (four years ago) link
I think they only decided to tell them because one of contestants relatives died
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 19:47 (four years ago) link
Astrophysicist gets magnets stuck up nose while inventing coronavirus device https://t.co/wNZ8bWV3hA— Guardian Australia (@GuardianAus) March 30, 2020
― koogs, Monday, 30 March 2020 15:33 (three years ago) link
lol even that picture looks like an Onion stock photo
― Roz, Tuesday, 31 March 2020 03:17 (three years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/3fclv8u.jpg
― Karl Malone, Tuesday, 31 March 2020 04:01 (three years ago) link
https://ny.eater.com/2020/3/31/21200948/ardyn-doomsday-dinner-party-coronavirus-nyc
Ardyn’s menu of Japanese hamachi, wagyu ribeye steak, and heritage chicken for $150 to $165 per person with a minimum four-person order, delivered to diners while wearing bunny masks.The catch: Customers must then finishing cooking — and assemble, however artfully they can — the meals themselves in their own homes.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 31 March 2020 20:58 (three years ago) link
sure
― silby, Tuesday, 31 March 2020 21:01 (three years ago) link
Purge, party of four.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 31 March 2020 21:02 (three years ago) link
ITT shit that looks like an Onion article and really is:
https://local.theonion.com/man-just-buying-one-of-every-cleaning-product-in-case-t-1842493766
― the grateful dead can dance (anagram), Friday, 24 April 2020 16:20 (three years ago) link
haha!
― kinder, Friday, 24 April 2020 17:02 (three years ago) link
https://variety.com/2020/film/news/tom-hanks-coronavirus-blood-research-vaccine-1234589978/
― Roz, Sunday, 26 April 2020 05:53 (three years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJMEPHNjHE0
― anatomy of a buttless wonder (unregistered), Sunday, 26 April 2020 16:09 (three years ago) link
in other news, the world's last surviving "inside edition" tv show is surviving covid-19! we'll show you how, on tonight's "inside edition"
― Kate (rushomancy), Sunday, 26 April 2020 16:21 (three years ago) link
"the owner may have some tips to help other businesses" um, suuuuuurrrre.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 26 April 2020 17:18 (three years ago) link
peep that text mode UI tho
― silby, Sunday, 26 April 2020 19:50 (three years ago) link
Axl Rose and U.S. Treasury secretary Steven Mnuchin feud on Twitter
― The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Friday, 8 May 2020 01:05 (three years ago) link
Matt Lauer: Why Ronan Farrow Is Indeed Too Good to Be True (Opinion) https://t.co/j3Hzdnhz1v— Mediaite (@Mediaite) May 19, 2020
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 21:46 (three years ago) link
mmmm nah
― silby, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 21:54 (three years ago) link
https://pitchfork.com/news/jay-z-puts-a-fiona-apple-song-on-new-playlist/
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 22:07 (three years ago) link
https://www.pedestrian.tv/tech-gaming/security-robot-given-the-gift-of-intelligence-chooses-to-drown-itself/
Marvin, is that you?
― Roz, Thursday, 21 May 2020 02:16 (three years ago) link
https://pagesix.com/2020/04/24/eminem-donates-moms-spaghetti-to-detroit-hospital-workers
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 26 May 2020 20:15 (three years ago) link
David Lynch ends daily weather report by recalling dream about being a dying German soldier on D-Dayhttps://news.avclub.com/david-lynch-ends-daily-weather-report-by-recalling-drea-1843952285
― wasdnous (abanana), Monday, 8 June 2020 19:54 (three years ago) link
JK Rowling recalls 'amazing' moment she met her idol Morrissey
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/nov/27/jk-rowling-moment-met-morrissey-harry-potter-interview-robert-galbraith?CMP=share_btn_fb
― wasdnous (abanana), Wednesday, 10 June 2020 15:19 (three years ago) link
music? she just liked his ideas on social values
― mh, Wednesday, 10 June 2020 21:12 (three years ago) link
I wish both she and her work would vanish altogether.
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 10 June 2020 21:16 (three years ago) link
From the Washington Post:
https://i.imgur.com/wx3B8GL.png
― pplains, Thursday, 11 June 2020 01:17 (three years ago) link
tbf she's basically the onion
― mookieproof, Thursday, 11 June 2020 01:29 (three years ago) link
Alexandra Petri mostly does satire, it’s basically an onion article
― all cats are beautiful (silby), Thursday, 11 June 2020 01:32 (three years ago) link
https://www.metrotimes.com/city-slang/archives/2020/06/10/michigan-man-goes-viral-after-telling-rage-against-the-machines-tom-morello-he-used-to-be-a-fan-until-he-realized-the-band-was-political
― pomenitul, Thursday, 11 June 2020 01:34 (three years ago) link
https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2020/06/my-little-pony-nazi-4chan-black-lives-matter/613348/
― Roz, Wednesday, 24 June 2020 16:06 (three years ago) link
BREAKING: Devin Nunes can’t sue Twitter over statements by fake cow, judge rules https://t.co/JtMpP6NfKs— Kate Irby (@kateirby) June 24, 2020
― Scampidocio (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 24 June 2020 21:52 (three years ago) link
"Teens in quarantine are roleplaying as 'Karens' on Instagram, making fake personas dedicated to loving wine and supporting Trump"https://www.insider.com/karen-fake-instagram-accounts-teens-quarantine-roleplaying-tiktok-2020-6
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 26 June 2020 00:40 (three years ago) link
Lol I have a 45 year old stay at home mom friend who made up a fake FB account (that uses “Karen” as part of the personas surname) to infiltrate and troll a bunch of “all lives matter” fuckos
― joygoat, Friday, 26 June 2020 13:56 (three years ago) link
aces, can I back her patreon
― all cats are beautiful (silby), Friday, 26 June 2020 15:09 (three years ago) link
A Teenager Didn’t Do Her Online Schoolwork. So a Judge Sent Her to Juvenile Detention.
― Scampidocio (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 10:32 (three years ago) link
this story is so heartbreaking.
― Roz, Wednesday, 15 July 2020 15:54 (three years ago) link
And utterly infuriating. Reading this after Trump's 'more white people are killed' spiel yesterday is just too much.
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 15 July 2020 16:01 (three years ago) link
It's heartbreaking and just batshit insane. Fucking America.
― Scampidocio (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 16:12 (three years ago) link
is there a thread for realizing, in middle age, that significant portions of your life strongly resemble an onion article
― Kate (rushomancy), Sunday, 26 July 2020 01:27 (three years ago) link
depression thread is on 77 i think
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 26 July 2020 01:27 (three years ago) link
Trump’s New COVID Doctor Says Sex with Demons Makes You Sick https://t.co/NCNiIZ5SYq— Noah Shachtman (@NoahShachtman) July 28, 2020
― Scampidocio (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 28 July 2020 13:20 (three years ago) link
that's ridiculous. none of the demons i've slept with have made me sick. in fact i think we all felt more energized
― The GOAT Harold Land (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 28 July 2020 18:09 (three years ago) link
they are good for stock tips too
― brooklyn suicide cult (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 28 July 2020 18:21 (three years ago) link
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-global-race-chevron-idUSKCN24P1Y7
Chevron diversity ratio to improve as layoffs progress
― anvil, Thursday, 30 July 2020 08:36 (three years ago) link
Hire more women guards etc
― all cats are beautiful (silby), Thursday, 30 July 2020 12:22 (three years ago) link
hire :clap: more :clap: women :clap: efficiency :clap: experts
― the quar on drugs (Simon H.), Thursday, 30 July 2020 12:25 (three years ago) link
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/09/arts/television/jerry-lewis-telethon-kevin-hart.html
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 9 September 2020 20:51 (three years ago) link
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ep435n/gig-economy-company-launches-uber-but-for-evicting-people
― Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Monday, 21 September 2020 18:42 (three years ago) link
still trying to figure this one out
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/rbg-mom-joins-satanic-temple_n_5f6b3565c5b629afbe990c15
The Death Of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Pushed Me To Join The Satanic Temple
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 24 September 2020 13:24 (three years ago) link
you should watch the doc Hail Satan! all about the ST
― Nhex, Thursday, 24 September 2020 13:38 (three years ago) link
I prefer to have a personal relationship with Satan
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 24 September 2020 13:40 (three years ago) link
another vote for Hail Satan?, it's great
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 24 September 2020 15:21 (three years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/sep/24/man-licorice-dies-massachusetts
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 24 September 2020 17:15 (three years ago) link
Well, that's horrifying. I never liked licorice anyway!
― Nhex, Thursday, 24 September 2020 17:36 (three years ago) link
tbf, he was eating A LOT
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 24 September 2020 17:48 (three years ago) link
wow, I guess it takes all sorts
― Number None, Friday, 25 September 2020 14:58 (three years ago) link
pic.twitter.com/RVVauNlIkq— Mike Pompino (heir to the Dolmio dynasty) (@spagbolshevism) October 7, 2020
― calzino, Wednesday, 7 October 2020 16:20 (three years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Em0OhgNXEAAjMb9?format=jpg&name=large
― calzino, Sunday, 15 November 2020 08:31 (three years ago) link
ffs
― The Bosom Manor Michaelmas Special (silby), Sunday, 15 November 2020 16:34 (three years ago) link
Pig intestines fly as Taiwan lawmakers engage in ham-fisted political attacks https://t.co/QbDp1NY21U— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) November 27, 2020
― oblique allergies (Sanpaku), Friday, 27 November 2020 16:10 (three years ago) link
well done headline writer
― Nhex, Friday, 27 November 2020 19:02 (three years ago) link
KFC launches game console that keeps your chicken warm
― Darin, Wednesday, 23 December 2020 18:03 (three years ago) link
Deepfake queen to deliver Channel 4 Christmas message
― koogs, Wednesday, 23 December 2020 23:10 (three years ago) link
xpstIs the “lol bacon” thread still around, KFC swinging for the fences with their marketing these days
― circa1916, Wednesday, 23 December 2020 23:14 (three years ago) link
https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/07/europe/denmark-john-dillermand-controversy-scli-intl/index.html
― Next Time Might Be Hammer Time (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 8 January 2021 16:36 (three years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2021/feb/01/microsofts-bing-ready-to-step-in-if-google-pulls-search-from-australia-minister-says
― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Monday, 1 February 2021 23:00 (three years ago) link
Craig Kelly's curated list of facebook links ready to step in
― shivers me timber (sic), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 00:15 (three years ago) link
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/david-hogg-launching-pillow-company-put-mypillow-out-business-n1256817
― frogbs, Friday, 5 February 2021 17:23 (three years ago) link
https://www.vulture.com/2021/02/lena-dunham-generation-dead-cats.html
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 11 February 2021 17:46 (three years ago) link
. Variety reports that the conservative high-school dramedy wanted to add authenticity to a biology dissection scene with the aforementioned corpses, a creative decision that was first outlined in a series of tweets by a friend of a Generation staffer. This Twitter user alleged that crew members and actors were given “no warning” about the corpses, and the “trauma responses” led to two extras quitting. HBO Max confirmed to Variety that the dead cats were indeed real, but noted they were all “ethically sourced” from a “biological supply company that works with schools.” The streaming service also stated that everyone involved in the scene “was informed in advance” of the “sensitive” cat usage, although they “deeply regret that this occurred.”
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Et9vR1JWQAIKRhw?format=jpg&name=small
― mookieproof, Thursday, 11 February 2021 18:16 (three years ago) link
okay long lol at that headline
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 11 February 2021 18:51 (three years ago) link
https://thehill.com/homenews/media/538528-cnns-cuomo-knocks-cruz-for-breast-milk-tweet-during-impeachment-do-your-damn
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 11 February 2021 23:39 (three years ago) link
https://metro.co.uk/2021/02/15/joss-whedon-buffy-star-nicholas-brendon-refuses-to-comment-on-claims-14085791/
Buffy the Vampire Slayer star Nicholas Brendon refuses to comment on Joss Whedon allegations as he undergoes surgery for paralysed penis
― Joe Biden Stan Account (milo z), Tuesday, 16 February 2021 04:53 (three years ago) link
(I know the Metro is a tabloid but that's some Clickhole shit)
Six Days in Fallujah ‘not trying to make a political commentary,’ creator sayshttps://www.polygon.com/2021/2/15/22279600/six-days-in-fallujah-interview-iraq-war-politics
― mh, Tuesday, 16 February 2021 16:52 (three years ago) link
the fuck is a paralyzed penis
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 17 February 2021 02:45 (three years ago) link
Opposite of a dick move.
― pplains, Wednesday, 17 February 2021 02:50 (three years ago) link
― Canon in Deez (silby), Wednesday, 17 February 2021 02:52 (three years ago) link
Touche
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 17 February 2021 05:23 (three years ago) link
https://www.theverge.com/2021/2/23/22297371/frogger-game-show-nbc-peacock-konami
reminds me of a story my friends shared of a group that went to a neighboring high school: real life Froggerthey had a slow-moving traffic road next to their school and they’d blindfold a guy and yell “five steps forward!” and “stay!!” when someone was in the middle of the road between laneshopefully they were pranking us with the story
― mh, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 01:04 (three years ago) link
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/people-literally-dont-know-when-to-shut-up-or-keep-talking-science-confirms/
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 3 March 2021 20:06 (three years ago) link
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-03-09/trader-buys-36-million-of-copper-and-gets-painted-rocks-instead
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 March 2021 18:53 (three years ago) link
Amid an acrimonious falling out over who controls the future of a digital news site that Tim Pool helped launch, the YouTube star is facing accusations from former partners that he used a cat named Betsy as a hostage in business negotiations https://t.co/olCkPALBqL— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) March 11, 2021
― Joe Bombin (milo z), Thursday, 11 March 2021 22:27 (three years ago) link
https://news.artnet.com/partner-content/now-on-artnet-auctions-a-rare-work-on-paper-by-jean-michel-basquiat
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 01:14 (three years ago) link
what's unusual about that?
― Nhex, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 02:59 (three years ago) link
300 grand for a doodle but what do i know i have fun being broke
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 03:16 (three years ago) link
tbf the posthumous Basquiat industry sorta skeeves me out but I’m not totally positive why.
― Canon in Deez (silby), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 03:17 (three years ago) link
because he lived and died predominantly in squalor, feared that he was becoming a token and is now being monetized for billionaires?
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 03:19 (three years ago) link
you're not wrong
― Nhex, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 03:22 (three years ago) link
i should say that's not really fair or accurate to his family or story: kinda more that he OPTED to live and die predominantly in squalor
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 03:23 (three years ago) link
it's kind of stupid but i visit his grave probably once every two weeks or so - more just because he's on one of my standard greenwood paths than because I'm obsessive - and I somehow feel like we've developed a relationship though nothing could be further from the truth
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 03:26 (three years ago) link
Hey forks, next time you run into that Leonard Bernatein, you tell him I'm still waiting on that $50 he owes me.
― pplains, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 07:34 (three years ago) link
I hate typing on an iPad.
― pplains, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 07:35 (three years ago) link
We see each other occasionally. They redid his spot about a year and a half ago.
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 11:05 (three years ago) link
xp actually in this universe it is spelled Bernatein
― rob, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 19:27 (three years ago) link
nananananananananananananananana BERNATIEN
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 19:51 (three years ago) link
shit that looks like a Reductress article but isn't
https://www.thecut.com/2021/04/a-q-and-a-with-the-man-who-keeps-uploading-my-feet-to-wikifeet.html
― Daniel_Rf, Thursday, 8 April 2021 15:07 (two years ago) link
lol. that's a strangely compelling interview tbh.
― John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Thursday, 8 April 2021 15:13 (two years ago) link
I love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience | Commentary https://t.co/vobMA2IX6y pic.twitter.com/wpNmXXzgBK— Orlando Sentinel (@orlandosentinel) April 23, 2021
― too cool for zen talk (Eazy), Friday, 23 April 2021 15:15 (two years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EzrK6FAXEAMPVlr?format=jpg&name=small
― mookieproof, Friday, 23 April 2021 17:29 (two years ago) link
Full disclosure: I am a Christian and a conservative Republican, so the people who run Disney and I do not see eye to eye.
Yeah, man, I'm gonna go ahead and say you didn't need this sentence. We got it.
― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 23 April 2021 17:46 (two years ago) link
see eye to eye.
― Draymond is "Mr Dumpy" (forksclovetofu), Friday, 23 April 2021 18:10 (two years ago) link
he spent a year trying to get a death row inmate killed with expired drugs
― wasdnuos (abanana), Friday, 23 April 2021 18:47 (two years ago) link
abanana beat me to it, but...
In 2018, as an asst. DA in Las Vegas, Jonathan VanBoskerck, the adult who is mad that Disney World is "woke" now, fought to ensure Nevada carried out its first execution in 12 years despite concerns from the ACLU that the drug cocktail was unsafe.Ultimately, a stay was granted. pic.twitter.com/kup3Q6z3f4— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) April 23, 2021
― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 26 April 2021 21:00 (two years ago) link
Goose flying upside down is simply showing off, say experts
https://wgme.com/news/offbeat/goose-flying-upside-down-is-simply-showing-off-say-experts
― diamonddave85 (diamonddave85), Tuesday, 3 August 2021 23:35 (two years ago) link
https://www.sthelensstar.co.uk/news/19510480.st-helens-indie-punk-band-take-jab-pretentious-drinkers-latest-tongue-in-cheek-single
― No Particular Place to POLL (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 14 August 2021 23:31 (two years ago) link
https://variety.com/2021/music/news/nirvana-baby-nevermind-lawsuit-1235048465
― think “Gypsy-Pixie” and misspelled. (We are a white family.) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 August 2021 13:41 (two years ago) link
https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2021/08/27/porn-collection-parents-pay-son/5618534001/
― henry s, Friday, 27 August 2021 19:50 (two years ago) link
Just the headline:
'This new class of hot ocean worlds could support life'
https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/26/world/hycean-planets-habitable-scn/index.html
― Spencer Chow, Friday, 27 August 2021 19:57 (two years ago) link
xp lol at that porn story, but i'm kinda with the son on that one... but that's ALOTTA porn
― Nhex, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:40 (two years ago) link
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/7/71/Screenshot_11437.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20200430054041
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:44 (two years ago) link
oops
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/7/71/Screenshot_11437.png
https://www.itv.com/news/central/2021-09-01/white-supremacist-sentenced-to-read-literary-classics
A young Nazi sympathiser who downloaded bomb-making instructions has been sentenced to read classic novels including 'Pride and Prejudice' instead.
― calzino, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 16:04 (two years ago) link
https://www.westernmassnews.com/watch-cow-rescued-after-getting-stuck-in-tree/article_cc25f1b9-c637-5e2d-a760-2e53c53e2fdf.html
(Meredith) -- The "steaks" were high in Louisiana after a group of Good Samaritans rescued a trapped cow after Hurricane Ida.During the massive storm, floodwaters became so intense that they carried the cow away, forcing the animal into a tree.The cow -- which had some real beef with the tree -- was safely rescued and was over the moon when freed.
During the massive storm, floodwaters became so intense that they carried the cow away, forcing the animal into a tree.
The cow -- which had some real beef with the tree -- was safely rescued and was over the moon when freed.
― think “Gypsy-Pixie” and misspelled. (We are a white family.) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 2 September 2021 19:42 (two years ago) link
good on them for getting 2, uh, meaty puns into a 3 sentence article
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 3 September 2021 18:11 (two years ago) link
really, uh, milking it
― micah, Friday, 3 September 2021 22:51 (two years ago) link
I Made a Literal Licorice Pizza. I Sort of Can’t Believe the Result.
― adam t. (abanana), Thursday, 23 December 2021 15:05 (two years ago) link
Coldplay will stop making music in 2025.
― Santa’s Got a Brand New Pigbag (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 26 December 2021 04:33 (two years ago) link
Haha I totally thought there was something absurd about that headline, or that I was missing something
― Josefa, Sunday, 26 December 2021 04:52 (two years ago) link
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2022-03-02/billionaire-wall-street-heir-william-peterffy-takes-esg-role-to-fix-capitalism
― papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 2 March 2022 23:52 (two years ago) link
The URL doesn’t include the healing crystal of the headline unfortunately.
― papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 2 March 2022 23:53 (two years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/mar/12/ukraine-reveals-russian-warship-go-fuck-yourself-postage-stamp
― Josefa, Saturday, 12 March 2022 17:12 (two years ago) link
Opinion: As a retired energy executive, I think Biden is to blame for high gas prices https://t.co/K6qU7XwAxw— Houston Chronicle (@HoustonChron) March 16, 2022
― papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 16 March 2022 18:26 (two years ago) link
As a Retired Serial Killer, I think Biden is to blame for the increase in crime
― Chappies banging dustbin lids together (President Keyes), Wednesday, 16 March 2022 18:46 (two years ago) link
EPA won't regulate rocket fuel in drinking water
https://www.eenews.net/articles/epa-wont-regulate-rocket-fuel-in-drinking-water/
― prague rock (praguerock), Monday, 4 April 2022 02:34 (one year ago) link
yay resistance
― Chappies banging dustbin lids together (President Keyes), Monday, 4 April 2022 14:04 (one year ago) link
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/05/well/family/parental-burnout-symptoms.html
― calstars, Thursday, 5 May 2022 18:59 (one year ago) link
Netflix has greenlit "Squid Game: The Challenge,"a reality competition series based on the hit 2021 South Korean drama #SquidGame. https://t.co/jLTsOP476I pic.twitter.com/lkXqLE5NUW— Variety (@Variety) June 14, 2022
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 14 June 2022 20:26 (one year ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/jul/13/uk-government-to-table-no-confidence-motion-in-itself
― rob, Wednesday, 13 July 2022 13:31 (one year ago) link
trying to prove how clean the water is:
https://indianexpress.com/article/cities/chandigarh/punjab-news-bhagwant-mann-hospital-admitted-stomach-ache-delhi-apollo-hospital-8042452/
― StanM, Friday, 22 July 2022 14:23 (one year ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2022/jul/24/chess-robot-grabs-and-breaks-finger-of-seven-year-old-opponent-moscow
― StanM, Monday, 25 July 2022 08:56 (one year ago) link
Lol came to post that one.
― Kim Kimberly, Monday, 25 July 2022 13:14 (one year ago) link
innovative new strategy, will have to give it a try in my next game
― link.exposing.politically (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 25 July 2022 13:15 (one year ago) link
“The robot broke the child’s finger,” Sergey Lazarev, president of the Moscow Chess Federation, told the TASS news agency after the incident, adding that the machine had played many previous exhibitions without upset. “This is of course bad.”
of course
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Tuesday, 26 July 2022 10:02 (one year ago) link
Top scientist admits 'space telescope image' was actually a slice of chorizo
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Saturday, 6 August 2022 12:46 (one year ago) link
Mike Lindell: Feds Seized My Cellphone at Hardee’s
“The FBI came after me and took my phone,” he said on Facebook. “They surrounded me in a Hardee’s and took my phone that I run all my business, everything with. What they’ve done is weaponize—the FBI, it’s disgusting. I don’t have a computer. Everything I do [is] off that phone. Everything was on there. And they told me not to tell anybody. Here’s an order: ‘Don’t tell anybody!’ ‘OK, I won’t!’ Well, I am.”
― earlnash, Wednesday, 14 September 2022 06:10 (one year ago) link
Sir, this is a Hardee's."
― You can't spell Fearless without Earle (President Keyes), Wednesday, 14 September 2022 15:33 (one year ago) link
How Bob Dylan used the ancient practice of 'imitatio' to craft some of the most original songs of his time
― lets hear some blues on those synths (brimstead), Tuesday, 18 October 2022 01:43 (one year ago) link
Mercedes-Benz to introduce acceleration subscription fee
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-63743597
― koogs, Friday, 25 November 2022 09:14 (one year ago) link
looking forward to people buying car armor from loot boxes
― “Cheeky cheeky!” she trills, nearly demolishing a roadside post (forksclovetofu), Monday, 5 December 2022 07:25 (one year ago) link
https://www.thearchaeologist.org/blog/scientists-have-just-successfully-recreated-a-dinosaur-from-chicken-dna
― Soda Stereo Total (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 5 December 2022 22:52 (one year ago) link
This has a real Clickhole vibe
https://scontent.fewr1-6.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/327710257_2460303994127076_4833502531328264050_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=ohX4uhkOyy8AX81ZlKt&_nc_ht=scontent.fewr1-6.fna&oh=00_AfAladtxOGadpYICxAvFGrWyKJrqUpVMXDt-QJ04wbcGmA&oe=63DD1343
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 30 January 2023 23:32 (one year ago) link
more like a Day Today headline maybe
https://i.imgur.com/KpdA073.png
― soref, Wednesday, 15 February 2023 18:13 (one year ago) link
Instant noodles make up nearly one-third of childhood burn injuries, study finds
https://news.uchicago.edu/story/uchicago-medicine-study-finds-instant-noodles-make-nearly-one-third-childhood-burn-injuries
― budo jeru, Thursday, 9 March 2023 19:44 (one year ago) link
Mini responds to Chinese ice cream racism uproar
― koogs, Friday, 21 April 2023 14:55 (eleven months ago) link
Nude landlord no excuse for holding back rent, rules German court
― ledge, Wednesday, 26 April 2023 19:47 (eleven months ago) link
Clothe My Landlord
― INDEPENDENTS DAY BY STEVEN SPILBERG (President Keyes), Wednesday, 26 April 2023 19:49 (eleven months ago) link
https://www.propublica.org/article/trains-crossing-blocked-kids-norfolk-southern
― Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 26 April 2023 19:51 (eleven months ago) link
"Mark Zuckerberg wins gold and silver in his first Jiu-Jitsu tournament"
― koogs, Thursday, 11 May 2023 12:47 (ten months ago) link
the mark zuckerberg invitational
― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 11 May 2023 13:09 (ten months ago) link
any prior experience in ju jitsu automatically disqualifies you
real Kim Jong Il vibes, yes
― koogs, Thursday, 11 May 2023 13:52 (ten months ago) link
He also won 'Most Handsome' and 'Tallest Man' awards
― INDEPENDENTS DAY BY STEVEN SPILBERG (President Keyes), Thursday, 11 May 2023 14:27 (ten months ago) link
"I was not Meghan in disguise at coronation, says 79-year-old composer"https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/D5KLUGCQLENU2VF3DXHSWSR34U.jpg&w=1200
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 11 May 2023 15:40 (ten months ago) link
show me some old men who look like the duchess of sussex!
wait
that's that fucker who took over soft machine after robert wyatt left
god fucking dammit
also they gave him a _knighthood_? they made that boring-ass fuso a _knight_? what the fuck? i'm sorry, did they do a kennedy center honors ceremony for the fucking yellowjackets?
― Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 11 May 2023 16:03 (ten months ago) link
Don't f*** with Waterloo. Glenn Howerton delivers an unhinged masterclass in BLACKBERRY, Matt Johnson's electrifying take on the world's first smartphone. Only in theaters THIS FRIDAY. Get tickets now: https://t.co/Twys5IridY— IFC Films (@IFCFilms) May 10, 2023
― papal hotwife (milo z), Thursday, 11 May 2023 18:58 (ten months ago) link
I was kinda interested already, but Mac in a bald cap chewing scenery? Take my money.
― assert (matttkkkk), Thursday, 11 May 2023 19:04 (ten months ago) link
also they gave him a _knighthood_? they made that boring-ass fuso a _knight_?
Sir Karl Jenkins of Nucleus/Soft Machine, presumably nominated for subsequent classical-type composing stuff
― Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 11 May 2023 19:11 (ten months ago) link
Karl Jenkins made a lot of mediocre or even bad music in the later days of soft machine, but he also made "soft space" so he can have a pass on anything and everything.
― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 11 May 2023 19:16 (ten months ago) link
according to the Always Sunny youtube/podcast thing I watched... it's not a bald cap! They shaved the rest of his head after he finished the movie
― mh, Thursday, 11 May 2023 21:13 (ten months ago) link
also, that's Dennis, not Mac
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDAurtxtwu4
― MaresNest, Saturday, 13 May 2023 15:29 (ten months ago) link
https://artdaily.cc/news/110495/Original-works-in-watercolor-and-ink-by-Chuck-D-on-view-at-Subliminal-Projects
"Original works in watercolour and ink by Chuck D"
examples: https://gallery30south.com/chuckd/
― koogs, Thursday, 18 May 2023 14:29 (ten months ago) link
Grimes and Elon Musk Reveal Third Child, Techno Mechanicus, in New Biography
― Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Saturday, 9 September 2023 23:07 (six months ago) link
14 Upcoming Movies Based On Mattel Toys Releasing After Barbie
https://screenrant.com/upcoming-movies-based-on-mattel-toys/
Specifically the pitches: Hot Wheels (dir. JJ Abrams), Barney (prod. Daniel Kaluuya), Polly Pocket (dir. Lena Dunham), Uno (starring Lil Yachty), Chatty Cathy and Betsy Wetsy (prod. Jason Bateman)
― my best wishes to all (flamboyant goon tie included), Sunday, 17 September 2023 17:29 (six months ago) link
Mexican police cuff crooked ‘demon doll’ Chucky
― Roz, Saturday, 23 September 2023 11:58 (six months ago) link
shit that looks like a Craig Brown article
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2023/oct/12/i-was-a-shaking-gibbering-wreck-ex-blue-peter-presenter-yvette-fielding-claims-she-was-bullied-on-the-show
Fielding claims that she was asked to leave her parents’ home, and was then flown to Russia for six weeks, having only ever been abroad twice before, and that at one point producers even forced her to live with Bonnie, the Blue Peter dog, against her will.
― soref, Thursday, 12 October 2023 16:09 (five months ago) link
lol never heard of Blue Peter, but it sounds a bit like the SeaOrg
― Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Thursday, 12 October 2023 16:12 (five months ago) link
― Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes)
so imagine that except with stephen from doctor who as a captain
― Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 12 October 2023 17:37 (five months ago) link
Ivanka Trump asks to pause NY fraud trial, says testimony during ‘school week’ creates ‘undue hardship’ https://t.co/Zyt3MRa7ru— CNBC Politics (@CNBCPolitics) November 2, 2023
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 2 November 2023 23:19 (four months ago) link
https://i.postimg.cc/fWVW2X4k/image.png
― silverfish, Monday, 6 November 2023 14:20 (four months ago) link
i had to check if that was really real and apparently they already took it down lol
good hustle, jpost writer (or AI) get that paycheck (or not)
― Nhex, Tuesday, 7 November 2023 15:19 (four months ago) link
"How Taylor Swift's Music Helped Me Feel Better About Genocide"
― Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Tuesday, 7 November 2023 15:23 (four months ago) link
Spokesman denies that Trump rhetoric echoes that of dictators like Hitler and Mussolini and declares that those who say it does will find "their entire existence will be crushed when President Trump returns to the White House." @marianne_levine https://t.co/yYLZbxNnv6— Peter Baker (@peterbakernyt) November 13, 2023
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 13 November 2023 18:18 (four months ago) link
Book group finally gets to the end of Finnegan's Wake....after 28 years.
https://amp.theguardian.com/books/2023/nov/12/california-venice-book-club-finngeans-wake-28-years
― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 17 November 2023 17:52 (four months ago) link
That rules
― G. D’Arcy Cheesewright (silby), Friday, 17 November 2023 18:17 (four months ago) link
"Fialka, who started the group in his early 40s, is now 70. “I don’t want to lie, it wasn’t like I saw God,” Fialka said, of reaching the book’s end. “It wasn’t a big deal.”"
Quadrino, who has a corporate day job, said he considers his Austin Wake group “the most fulfilling thing in my life”.
were the onionest imo.
― Nabozo, Friday, 17 November 2023 19:45 (four months ago) link
Let's see 'em listen to every Eagles song.
― pplains, Friday, 17 November 2023 21:14 (four months ago) link
Well yeah...
― earlnash, Friday, 17 November 2023 22:31 (four months ago) link
I would probably join this group if it were nearby
― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 17 November 2023 22:42 (four months ago) link
What are they going to read next?
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Friday, 17 November 2023 22:51 (four months ago) link
^ didn’t read to the end
― G. D’Arcy Cheesewright (silby), Friday, 17 November 2023 23:31 (four months ago) link
Actually
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Saturday, 18 November 2023 01:05 (four months ago) link
https://www.businessinsider.com/sen-markwayne-mullin-picked-noses-of-colleague-and-spouses-in-israel-2023-11
― Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Saturday, 18 November 2023 14:35 (four months ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GAtnXNkXAAAzPCg?format=png&name=small
― soref, Thursday, 7 December 2023 09:03 (three months ago) link
instant meme
― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 7 December 2023 09:41 (three months ago) link
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/vivek-ramaswamy-peeing_n_6576e1cbe4b0fca7ad216481
Vivek Ramaswamy Apparently Caught Peeing On Hot Mic During Elon Musk Livestream
― Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Monday, 11 December 2023 17:07 (three months ago) link
"A loud tinkling sound was heard briefly before the wet, urine-soaked mic shorted out."
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 11 December 2023 18:46 (three months ago) link
If Hot Mike asks, you do it.
― Hideous Lump, Monday, 11 December 2023 20:43 (three months ago) link
Armed robbers' car stolen during Colorado heist, police say
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-67752007
― StanM, Tuesday, 19 December 2023 02:51 (three months ago) link
That one also seems like a crime story that could be in the Trailer Park Boys.
― The Artist formerly known as Earlnash, Tuesday, 19 December 2023 05:09 (three months ago) link
Steven Seagal and ex-MP George Galloway seen playing tug-of-war with a Liger at Dubai zoo
https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/us-celebrity-news/steven-seagal-ex-mp-george-31703843
― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 19 December 2023 19:37 (three months ago) link
hope it's hungry
― Left, Tuesday, 19 December 2023 19:40 (three months ago) link
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/snooker/68027678
Snooker: Saudi event to feature 20-point golden ball with 167 break possible
― koogs, Friday, 19 January 2024 18:54 (two months ago) link
https://www.thecut.com/article/amazon-scam-call-ftc-arrest-warrants.html
― papal hotwife (milo z), Friday, 16 February 2024 03:17 (one month ago) link
Still, how could I have been such easy prey? Scam victims tend to be single, lonely, and economically insecure with low financial literacy. I am none of those things. I’m closer to the opposite. I’m a journalist who had a weekly column in the “Business” section of the New York Times.
― budo jeru, Friday, 16 February 2024 05:02 (one month ago) link
The fact she honestly fell for "dont tell anyone, stick cash in a box and hand it to a guy who wont show you any ID" is just mindblowing.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 16 February 2024 05:46 (one month ago) link
Yeah, single and arguably lonely here, but I’d never do that.
― Josefa, Friday, 16 February 2024 05:52 (one month ago) link
doesn't seem like one of the best examples of this scam, but some acquaintances of friends and coworkers have been scammed by similar, if more elegant, schemes and the two things in common are immediate threats to life/livelihood and the implication that hanging up the phone will have immediate consequences
I have some sympathy and would like to point my finger and laugh, but the stigma of the whole thing means a lot of people never report that they were scammed and that's how this shit keeps happening
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Friday, 16 February 2024 14:59 (one month ago) link
also, I would never fall for something like this, obv
(please do not put that as my epitaph when I fall for something)
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Friday, 16 February 2024 15:00 (one month ago) link
can someone please summarise for the paywall-challenged?
― koogs, Friday, 16 February 2024 15:37 (one month ago) link
(oh, it's fine on the desktop browser, didn't work on the phone this morning when i looked)
― koogs, Friday, 16 February 2024 15:38 (one month ago) link
in short: phoned up and told their identity had been stolen, was being used by miscreants of some description, that their bank wasn't safe, to take out a bunch of money and give it to some bloke who pinky-sweared he was from the cia.
― koogs, Friday, 16 February 2024 15:46 (one month ago) link
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Friday, February 16, 2024 8:59 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
i want to be clear that her status as a scam victim is not what's worthy of derision. it's the framing of "How could I possibly be a clueless rube? I'm a financial advice columnist for the New York Times!"
― budo jeru, Friday, 16 February 2024 16:18 (one month ago) link
100%
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Friday, 16 February 2024 16:46 (one month ago) link