worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

Texas Club $6.95
Cajun chicken, bacon, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, & Caesar dressing wrapped in sushi rice with tapioca paper.

NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95
Roasted turkey, jalapenos, pepper jack, avocados, green onions, mayonnaise and sriracha mayonnaise wrapped in sushi rice and tapioca paper. First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Kemosabe Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, BBQ beef brisket, french fries, crispy onions & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

Big Bird on Fire $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, blackened chicken, french fries & a sweet chili sauce.

Jackass Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, BBQ pork, french fries & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95
Grilled marinated teriyaki chicken, wrapped with avocado, mandarin oranges, crushed wontons and lettuce in tapioca paper. Served with a teriyaki dipping sauce.

Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, crunchy tempura bits, avocado, cucumber, julienne vegetables, daikon sprouts served with a ponzu dipping sauce.

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, tempura chicken & eel sauce.

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Winner!

kemosabe roll -- aka brisket sushi

http://www.cuisinecapers.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/P42100441.JPG

killer thread!

voted kemosabe

jesus christ

where is the "fuck you, guy fieri" poll option

and for dessert...
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/03/peeps-recipes-how-to-make-peepshi-sushi-rice-krispies-treats-easter.html

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/images/22100331-peepshi2-primary.jpg

i didn't notice the name of the only one that looked remotely palatable--oh lol it's the "earthy crunchy" roll

Big Bird On Fire couldn't be worse if it actually was Big Bird, on fire

i voted for NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 tbh -- turkey, pepper jack cheese AND SUSHI RICE

o jesus

voted hidden chicken cause i don't dig orange w/savory dishes, but am starving and would gobble up all the other ones and then scream. I might have the order of that reversed.

*BARFS*

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll

semi-surprised he left "Krunchy" off the front of this

i love how this sentence loses absolutely none of its meaning if you write it like this

We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "gay raw fish and seaweed, which is what fags eat"

hey guys i'm going to post the names of some other items at this establishment

Koi Fish Tacos – (just kidding!) $6.95

hahaha

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places? "oh this is just too healthy, americans won't eat it. deep fry some shit quick"??

Eddie’s Mommy (Eda-Mame) $4.25

Tootsie Roll $9.95
A tempura battered roll with smoked salmon, cream cheese, togarashi (chili powder), green onion, & eel sauce drizzled over the top.

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places?

????

never seen tempura in a sushi roll

Jumpin’ Jack Fish Roll $11.95
w/ cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, jalapeño, togarashi, green onion, hamachi, and eel sauce.

jesus fucking christ

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

NEW! Wonton Wonderland $6.25
3 flash fried wontons, dredged in cinnamon sugar, with vanilla ice cream between layers. Topped with raspberry, white chocolate, chocolate and caramel sauces finished with whipped cream and dusted with powdered sugar.

http://www.texwasabis.com/images/index_11.jpg
SURFS UP FAGS!!!
http://www.texwasabis.com/images/index_13.jpg

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

now add cream cheese to that

I am amazed he kept from throwing bacon onto this shit.

I envy you, Mr Que. It's an epidemic in these parts.

"california style sushi"

Welcome to the world headquarters for our exclusive line of Tex Wasabi/Johnny Garlics merchandise and our very popular gift cards. While our on-line catalog is being shot in exotic locations with screaming hot models, jump in the pool now and make gift giving simple, affordable, and a guaranteed hit with…Gift Cards! Your “Guy Fieri Signature” gift card can be used for anything we offer guests in any of our restaurants in Sonoma County, Sacramento, and Roseville. Buy them in packs so you always have one on hand for anniversary’s, birthdays, special soccer parties, bridal showers, or for those emergencies when cooking for the family is “not an option!” Give them away or use them yourself…but don’t be caught without one!

Please note that after you order your gift cards, delivery will be complete in 7-10 business days. If you live near one of our restaurants, feel free to stop in and buy them there so you have them when you want them….now!

As soon as our models shake the sand out of their clothes we will be able to publish our on-line catalog. Just click here so you can bookmark this page and check back. It will blow you away!

fuckin' america.

sooo meta: countryfied texas-style california-style sushi

seriously! even the name Tex Wasabi's is blowing my mind

Thought of kemosabe roll makes me physically ill.

http://declubz.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/insect-sushi.jpg

half-expected one of these to literally just be shit wrapped in rice

sushi with an attitude!

gahhhh i'm searching so hard for the achewood strip with the mexican chain restaurant, because it is basically this

RIP Chaki:

http://illogicalcontraption.blogspot.com/2010/03/welcome-to-my-nightmare-went-to-guy.html

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_zqFoq3qej2c/Sl91PM8GNNI/AAAAAAABAvU/H4bCOY41Xlc/s400/obamasushi.jpg

http://www.zazzle.com/cartoon_boy_piss_on_obama_sticker-217217153952322253

aw

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D08202007

Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]

i love how Ray's all into it

Vegetarian sushi is Satanic; rolls with meat are of course WRONG (and WTF with the heterosauce) but you would be foolish to think the Japanese aren't fond of getting drunk and eating many, many deep-fried things (including parts of hand rolls). The following deep-fried things normally appear in hand rolls: shrimp tempura, soft shell crab.

I am also BIG NUMBER ONE FAN of rice paper, but this is NOT the place.

Red Dawn $9.00
Vodka, peach schnapps, midori, rockstar and finished with a splash of orange juice and grenadine. Sure to get your motor started.

should change name to "Frosted Tips" imo.

guilty sushi pleasure, when I can't afford a sashimi platter at the best local place, is a shrimp tempura/tamago roll w/ avocado and tuna on top.

I don't know if it's authentic or not (guessing the avocado is not so much) but it's fucking delicious.

Dizzy Budda $12.00
Southern comfort, midori, vodka, 99 bananas, amaretto, myers’s rum, kahlua, malibu, and peach schnapps then finished with a splash of pineapple juice, orange juice and grenadine.

jesus, do you think you could get some more shit in there?

that's what she said

rolls with meat are of course WRONG

korean gimbap often feature galbi or other beef and are good.

i hope that guy has a batcave in his mansion where he slaves away at night trying to figure out a way to get pepper jack cheese into cocktails

CATERING

Party planners are raving about the unique dining experience we bring to your event. It’s like TWO caterers for the price of one with the combination of sushi AND barbeque…and almost anything else you can think of!

http://www.texwasabis.com/images/common/animated_logo.gif

haha the "reviews" section of the website is actually just testimonials from regular northern californians going by their first names. and each one gets a response from "tex"

"The wait staff was very accommodating and interested in how we liked our experience with the food."
-Dillon in Rohnert Park, CA

"Thanks Dillon, we really do want you to experience our food!" -Tex

hahahaafjodfasd

"The wait staff was very accommodating and interested in how we liked our experience with the food."
-Dillon in Rohnert Park, CA

"Thanks Dillon, we really do want you to experience our pepper jack cheese!" -Tex

http://www.johnnygarlics.com/images/index_07.jpg

that seriously looks like something that friday's wouldn't even serve

Is that Guy's hair atop the roll?

This is the place for all things Guido (that's what Guy's krew calls him)!

One of the things Guy digs is people. Hangin' with 'em, coolin' with 'em, sharin' stories...you name it. His favorite part of the life he lives is meeting people...not only the famous people, but regular folks who are living life 'on point' and 'off the hook.' Take a snoop around and you'll see and hear the inside 'dish' on Guid, the people in his Krew, some of the people he meets, and even get a chance to change Guy's look. As you can see, most of it's not serious. If you want serious go to boring.com.

And hey, if you've got a question we don't answer...ask away on Guy's guestbook! Or even better, check out Kleetus's blog or Guy's twitter page. They'll keep you up to date on what's going on with Guido. Enjoy!

'em, 'em, 'em

birth name: Guy Ramsay Ferry

If you want serious go to boring.com.

Guy Fieri has to be one my least favorite TV personalities. His whole style and attitude makes my skin crawl.

I voted for the Screaming Gobbler for the godawful name more than the ingredients.

Congrats on being the first female poster in this thread!

Dizzy Budda $12.00
Southern comfort, midori, vodka, 99 bananas, amaretto, myers’s rum, kahlua, malibu, and peach schnapps then finished with a splash of pineapple juice, orange juice and grenadine.

jesus, do you think you could get some more shit in there?

Lolling @ "99 bananas" because I'm basically assuming they literally mean 99 bananas and some random liquer I've never encountered before

regular folks who are living life 'on point' and 'off the hook.'

Can this hateful person be any more like Poochie?

I don't mind him; it's part of my early Sunday afternoon routine to watch his antics with Grandma, who never fails to be amused. But what kind of woman would want to stick her fingers in his coif is beyond me.

Jackass Roll $6.95

the couldn't just call this the "Guy Fieri Roll"?

Lol okay zing for iPhone, plz stop holding onto old things I decided not to post

Can this hateful person be any more like Poochie?

Oh My God! Guy Fieri is Poochie!

*brain explodes*

I was terrified that "coif" was a euphemism

I was terrified that "coif" was a euphemism

It isn't?

Marinated donkey:

http://www.foodnut.com/i/Jinjiang-Palace-Chinese-Restaurant-Taiyuan-China/Jinjiang-Palace-Chinese-Restaurant-Taiyuan-China-Donkey-Penis.jpg

i wish there was one in my area

a donkey?

a tex wasabi's

The thing is, like Guy Fieri, I have a strong love of both BBQ and Sushi, so in theory this should be the perfect place for me. But clearly something went horribly wrong in the planning and execution stages of Tex Wasabi's.

i wanna be part of his Krew

Well, Guy Fieri's American, so if you don't like him, you don't like America.

^^^a one man conservative think tank

The Purgative Foundation.

I don't mean
To seem like I care about culinary things
Like balanced ingrieds
I just want
Four meats and pepperjack cheese
For my rolls

lol dan

vancouver is the fucking capital of brown rice arugula bacon mango sushi roll bullshit and i hate it because it all tastes like shit but fuck this guy has a roll with BBQ PORK AND FRENCH FRIES.

this stuff sounds great. sorry, guys.

this is unutterably repulsive

If you guys were stoned, you'd eat this offal.

no

also offal > this

when i'm stoned i eat pizza or wendy's -- fuck bbq sushi

If you guys were stoned, you'd eat this offal.

an insult to stoners everywhere

eating this while stoned would be an insult to the great tradition of stoned eating

(fwiw I don't think its any coincidence that the Bay Area has a high concentration of stoners AND a high concentration of awesome, world-renowned restaurants)

The first guy who gets stoned tonight, plz report to this thread.

Lolling @ "99 bananas" because I'm basically assuming they literally mean 99 bananas and some random liquer I've never encountered before

and on that note, do not go to 99schnapps.com if you don't want to be annoyed

rice and cheese... just... no. except paneer but god forbid this psychotic gets his hands on that

this sushi is not even real

i've never been to a Hard Rock Cafe, but i always assumed it's basically what this dude looks like.

OK am having a jazz cigarette RIGHT NOW and no way would I eat this shit. My go-to is salt and chili spare ribs but made do with Napoli sausage and lentil caserole.

it's not even really stoner food, it's food that coked-out a-holes would eat if coked-out a-holes ate

^^^^^^^

i would eat this if i were stoned, not because its appealing, but because im not really that picky, when im stoned

Why would you make sushi, if you're against everything that has anything to do with sushi?

this stuff sounds great. sorry, guys.

― dylannn, Saturday, April 3, 2010 6:02 AM (15 hours ago) Bookmark

cosign, sorry dudes but this is just regular american food w/ sushi rice mixed in

that said I voted for hidden chicken roll because then your meal becomes a game

it used to be game was a meal now it's all upside down thanks to Tex

never seen tempura in a sushi roll

― Mr. Que, Friday, April 2, 2010 3:52 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Really? By no means would I say it's in 70% of sushi rolls, but most sushi joints I go to usually I have at least one or two maki with shrimp tempura.

they also like to use tempura flakes so they can add 'crunch' to the name

I'm sure this restaurant and Guy Fieri are awful but I'm kind of interested in the fusion of international food styles below the sorts of fancy restaurants that get called "fusion."

Also I bet the profit margin on these suckers is pretty high, you get to offer ingredients like bacon and BBQ beef brisket to jack up the price but I bet they're mostly rice.

screaming gobbler is a kind of cartoon dragon

are the french fries in the rolls?

guy fieri is the culinary carlos mencia

Signature look

Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7] includes bleached spikey hair, sunburned face, sunglasses on the back of his head, bowling shirts, "bling", and a wristband worn on his forearm rather than his wrist. Says Guy,
“ The wristbands started out as a thing between me and Hunter (Guy's son). I gave Hunter a wristband and he gave me one, and I told him that I’d wear it while doing The Next Food Network Star so he could see it. That’s why I wore it. I gave mine to Santos from the Food Network Kitchens on the night we wrapped. Now it’s turned into a bigger thing. These high school kids at a recent demo I did were all wearing them. I’m trying to find a pink one for breast cancer.[8]

wouldn't it just be some shit if guy fieri wearing a pink wristband on his forearm was the thing that cured breast cancer?

I know I've heard him referred to as a "human cheese fry" somewhere, though the Poochie comparison is pretty spot on.

Tex Wasabi's management reserves the right to refuse service to anyone not havin' a bitchin' time

can i just

http://www.johnnygarlics.com/images/index_07.jpg

there's a NYC place like this except 'sophisticated' where they serve sushi with like, molé sauce

i wld probably have morgan's roll, if he didnt want it, or felt like sharing

guy fieri dresses like he's in smashmouth

also thx guy i've been outta login ideas as of late

Given that this place is only an hour away from me, if someone wants to pay for my gas and meal I will go to this restaurant, eat food there, and take pictures of it. (When it re-opens, of course.) Just throwin' it out there.

"Now, poly, why not pay for it yourself?"

Fuck you, imaginary person.

i like gimmick sushi tho generally went 2 a place that had indian/jap rolls like tandoori rolls they were good. i mean its just regular food but rolled up w/rice. thats p convenient if u think abt it

If this guy would deep fry his "sushi", he'd be an all star.

right now im just thinking that mb guy fieri is more honestly himself than any other person i know

its like in movies when girls where two sweaters and a knit toque at once to mime being retarded but even tho they make sculptures out of fishnetting & soda cans they really no have 2 live

if you think that a combination of brisket, pepper jack cheese and cream cheese is "normal food", may i offer that you adjust your idea of normal

i dont really like any of those but it seems like smthn that ppl eat

'gotta appeal to the nascar dads!'

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

now add cream cheese to that

― Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (Yesterday)

Cream cheese actually works and I've seen it as an ingredient at some nicer sushi joints.

Seen it plenty of times, actually. I dunno about, say, pepper jack, yellow tail, and cream cheese though.

unacceptable

"Big Bird on Fire" is amazing for the three-year-oldness of its vision, in both name and its french fry contents (could it come topped with ice cream, too?). I had to go with "Screaming Gobbler" for sounding like some nightmare sex act, though.

Ricki: It's turkey time.
Larry Gigli: Huh?
Ricki: Gobble, gobble.

mayonnaise and sriracha mayonnaise

sriracha mayonnaise is basically how most joints do the spicy sauce for their spicy tuna tobiko crunch roll or whatever

it's just sriracha and mayo in a 1:1 combo

Sriricha mayo, wasabi mayo = APPROVED. Made fried chicken sandwich w/mayo and sriricha mix, also APPROVED.

i understand the concept of sriracha mayo -- i don't understand why one would need a sushi roll with sriracha mayo AND regular mayo

that's why you're not j0rdan sarg3nt, kulinary gangsta & celebrity chef

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/74/Symptoms_of_Raw_fish_infection.png

vague abdominal discomfort

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll

semi-surprised he left "Krunchy" off the front of this

― STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, April 2, 2010 2:50 PM (1 week ago)

in today's episode of "guy's big bite," he's wearing a sleeveless hoodie with some garish chinese or japanese character on the front and the customary red armband

http://i44.tinypic.com/16ixj05.jpg

this guy is the joe the plumber of food

those oriental characters are all far too garish for my taste, plus it looks like something a five year old could do

plus the hoodie has no sleeves

he should wear one w/sleeves and then put "wrist"bands over that

lol I had the same shirt in 6th grade and got ragged on for buying my clothes at K-Mart

this guy is unbelievable

diners, driven is & dives is a genuinely great show -- it's done really well but obv the best part is guy's interactions with people -- can't tell which i enjoy more, someone who is all "uhhh what the fuuuuck? i'm a 50 year old man, i don't want to fist bump you" or someone who is all "WE CALL THIS THE REDNECK TACO! PEPPERJACK CHEESE AND MAYO AND GUACAMOLE!" who gets guy all giddy -- the whole thing is so fun tho

His hair is made of ginger shoots and the freshest farm-grown rhubarb.

diners, driven is & dives is a genuinely great show

omg so wrong

"screaming gobbler" sounds like an awful horror movie.

he was visibly in awe of the bbq dude who coined the "redneck taco" -- obv we know he has a thing for being all "it's okay if you don't want to eat foreign food, stupid white people! we'll just make it into normal white people food! rest easy!"

DD&D & best thing i ever ate are totally in the food network canon imo

never actually seen this guy do his thing

it's as endearing as it is hilarious - his own cooking is a TOTALLY different story tho

best thing I ever ate is also horrible! you can tell that these people have all gone to the place they're talking about like, twice. it's the food network version of one of those vh1 shows where they were just like "let's make a show that costs $0 to make"

(gf refuses to watch/enjoy ANYTHING but the food network)

i watch toooons of food network esp during the day

never actually seen this guy do his thing

― NUDE. MAYNE. (s1ocki)

lucky you, this choad wants to be Ray Smuckles when he grows up

chopped and throwdown are the things I will rep for

oh and good eats

throwdown is cool -- chopped i can't watch cuz it's such a terrible approximation of top chef -- worst cook in america or w/e i enjoyed tho

(gf refuses to watch/enjoy ANYTHING but the food network)

I'd love your girlfriend. When I visit friends they get mad cuz all I wanna do is watch the Neelys slap each other's asses.

my roommates stopped kicking it in the living room during the day cuz food network bores the shit out of them

the neelys are fucking creepy -- i feel like they would literally give morbs a heart attack

btw guy just said "the crunch on this is crunchtastic"

the neelys are fucking creepy -- i feel like they would literally give morbs armond white a heart attack

i wonder if the people who work on this show are

a. completely self-loathing cuz guy is annoying as shit irl
b. terrifying guy disciples who wear custom arm bands
c. dudes who have the time of their lives snickering about guy behind his back

hahahaha alfred

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4025/4421327174_edf0cb44d2.jpg

http://foodnetworkhumor.com/img/neely-shrimpstick3.jpg

yeah their food seems genuinely terrible

Plus, most of these cooks, forgive me, are under the mistaken impression that "dry rubbing" meat with all kinds of ominous powders will give it flavor.

(the Cuban in me marinates every meat in sour orange juice and garlic powder)

So when are you getting your cooking show dammit

I am insistent.

i wonder if the people who work on this show are

a. completely self-loathing cuz guy is annoying as shit irl
b. terrifying guy disciples who wear custom arm bands
c. dudes who have the time of their lives snickering about guy behind his back

hahahaha alfred

― mr. milquetoast (J0rdan S.), Monday, May 24, 2010 10:54 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

basically guarantee you its a and c

I think you just described the type of people who work for Glenn Beck as well.

yeah. it's glenn beck's audience who are (b)

Glenn Beck's BBQ

So when are you getting your cooking show dammit

too fond of serving my product raw

So make that the angle of the show.

Alfred's Animal Appetites

lamprey and monk rats

yeah DD&D is a great show in spite of Guy's doucheness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYeeUUpPkks

went there today. tacos arabe mmmm.

last week i was enjoying my lunch at a taco truck when i saw this:

http://twitpic.com/1ph6x9

i still enjoyed my lunch, but threw up a little in my mouth.

GUY FITE HERE

ha ha ha insane clown foodie

ahaha i love when he makes a completely corny joke and then looks back at the camera like "DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE??"

http://i47.tinypic.com/k33vwp.png

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/11/dining/11Fieri.html

Mr. Fieri, with partners, runs three branches of an Italian-American pub called Johnny Garlic’s; and two hybrids of California-style sushi and Southern barbecue called Tex Wasabi’s. Johnny Garlic’s serves dishes like Cajun chicken pasta Alfredo; a signature dish at Tex Wasabi’s is found in the “gringo sushi” portion of the menu: the Jackass Roll, filled with pulled pork, avocado and French fries.

“A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed,” he said. “So I make what they do like.”

A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed
A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed
A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed
A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed
A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed
A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed
A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed
A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed

smh

good luck america

a lot of people who like pizza don't like dough, sauce, cheese, or toppings

a lot of people who like eggs don't like eggs

the Jackass Roll, filled with pulled pork, avocado and French fries.

"I've just admitted that my food is inedible except as a dare."

love sushi, hate rice

i remember the name of that place in new york now. sushi samba! where you can get themed mexican sushi and $10 cosmos.

it's brazilian

oh right, "samba"

i swear they had mole sauce though

i wouldn't doubt it. i do think they are pretty loose with their regional interpretations but it's been awhile since i ate there. i did have some good $10 drinks there tbh(no cosmo)

i used to know one of the bartenders. he moved to las vegas to serve $3 cosmos but he says the tips are bigger.

i thought what happened in vegas stayed in vegas

A lot of people who like sushi don’t really like raw fish or seaweed

this is so amazing

thank u guy

I thought this revive was gonna be about pop tart sushi

actually can't hate the guy from what I read in the article, seems like he's pretty self conscious of his shtick and is just riding it out

i can think of another guy who "was pretty self conscious of his shtick" and was "just riding it out"

are you slandering guy fawkes?!?!?!

guy debord

sous les paves--la schtick

guy debord

well, this here sushi IS a spectacle...

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/muppet/images/2/28/Guy-smiley.jpg

i can think of another guy who "was pretty self conscious of his shtick" and was "just riding it out"

William Hung? Oh, wait, you said 'conscious'.

timely

― snooki stackhouse (s1ocki), Wednesday, 11 August 2010 13:36 (4 hours ago)
http://cinemaelectronica.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/mission_accomplished.jpg

ah fuck I c+p'd the wrong part of that, shoulda been i can think of another guy who "was pretty self conscious of his shtick" and was "just riding it out" obv

Guys, I think he meant Hitler.

Or Jesus.

"Hitler or Jesus" should be a game show

The 'lightning round' might be taken in different senses.

timely

Yeah, but you were writing in the past tense.

he's making an 'edamame salad' right now called EDDIE'S MOMMY SALAD

Death is too good for this man.

which is worse:

English speakers butchering of Japanese vs. Japanese speakers butchering of English?

i am watching this--honestly it's a breath of fresh air after sandra

i enjoy guy

CAD stick around for "down home with the neelys"

he's less obnoxious when he's just cooking as opposed to like, diners/driveins/dives

what do they do? sadly it's not till 5:30 and i was going to try to drag my sick ass to class

it's hard to describe the neelys -- they're a couple and their show is weirdly sexual & the husband is just freaking bizarre

i really started to enjoy diner drive-ins and dives after the missus pointed out how OBVIOUSLY totally baked he is half the time on that show

ddd is one of my favorite shows on tv

then again i watch food network from the hours of 2 pm - 5 pm every day so \(o_O)/

the best part of ddd is when the ppl are genuinely weirded out by him and would obv rather not be doing the show cuz he's like constantly fist bumping

I'm on record for my endorsement of the Neelys, terribly earnest pop psychology lectures to the camera and all.

they are kinda bizarre and yet i want them to adopt me

they would make you eat vanilla ice cream with the Neely's Special Dry Rub sprinkled all over it.

man you guys are tempting me but i haven't been outside for over 50 hours

jeez

English speakers butchering of Japanese vs. Japanese speakers butchering of English?

was in a restaurant a while ago and some v loud guy at a nearby table was telling everyone how he had been to Japan and you know karaoke isn't pronounced like that and mispronunciation is a terrible and shocking ignorance that is uniquely white and Anglophone (continued for about 10 minutes)

was mentally compiling a list of Japanese borrowings from English which are not pronounced like the English

basketoburu

every culture mispronounces/appropriates words in a weird way. The Japanese do it, igringos do it, Latinos do it. Guy Fieri is still Satan.

igringos!

I was at this really nice cafe in cleveland that I guess was on ddd. Guy Fieri signed a poster they had hanging in the front window. This fuckin guy actually writes like this:

TO DA' DINER DAT HAS DA' BEST BREAKFAST IN ALL OF CLEVELAND

was in a restaurant a while ago and some v loud guy at a nearby table was telling everyone how he had been to Japan and you know karaoke isn't pronounced like that and mispronunciation is a terrible and shocking ignorance that is uniquely white and Anglophone

TS: this guy vs. the guy stumbling out of the sushi restaurant across the street from my house yelling "I LOVE SAKE!"

Americans have a weird relationship with Japan

The Western world has a weird relationship with Japan

Fixed.

i don't actively dislike guy fieri, really, he seems like a KIP kind of dude and some of those places he's been to look insane.

Guy Fieri's Rock and Roll Sake = soy sauce/mayo/chili oil with a Coors Light chaser.

this dudes "wearing sunglasses on the back of his head" game is TIGHT

today he's making "guy-talian nachos" and "won tacos"

this "guy-talian nachos" thing is so sandra lee that it's almost scary

he's making an "italian salsa" & also right now he's combining sour cream & ricotta cheese because of how sour cream is usually on mexican nachos, but these are italian

"it tastes like an italian lasagna... on a crispy wonton. which is exactly what it should be!"

lol

sounds like he needs better weed?

so we went to our favorite / the best taco place in queens* and upon entering we saw guy fieri's face stenciled on the wall w/ "guy was here - 10/10." me and gf were sad that we didn't happen to end up there the day it was being filmed.

the owner talked to us about it - apparently he's pretty true to his tv character. prob not gonna air til like january, but it should be pretty good for business. it's definitely not a 'diner, drive-in or dive'.

*tortilleria nixtamal for nyc ppl

yeah they kinda moved from diner/drive in/dive to 'just good places to eat'

I'm surprised he doesn't end up in nyc more, w/ the food network headquarters here? but I guess he is set up on the west coast. not that the food network needs more shows talking about nyc restaurants.

in my head I sorta have the food network mapped into 'blue state shows' (iron chef, bobby flay, chopped, the reality tv shows) and 'red state shows' (unwrapped, guy etc.)

looking at a supermarket sushi snack pack which proudly announces "no raw fish"

thinking of how delighted some dude in a suit probably was when a focus group said that they would buy sushi for lunch except they weren't sure about "raw fish", and he realised that without the fuss of expensive cuts of good fish and proper curing he could now sell two tablespoons of white rice, a tiny sliver of seaweed, three 0.6cm squares of red pepper, three 0.6cm squares of cucumber, and a teaspoon of tinned tuna + mayo for £3 a go

this guy was in jaxon's hood a couple days ago lol.

http://www.chow.com/food-news/55490/microwavable-sushi/

u_u

I had no idea until right now that Tex Wasabi was Guy Fieri's fault. There's a bunch of them around Sacramento and they were always just so WTF to me. Barbecue and Sushi? NO! FUCK NO!. But now that I know it's Guy, the unholy marriage makes so much more sense. Like, Ohhhh. Of course!!
GROSS.

god it makes so much sense that this guy WENT TO COLLEGE in las vegas

They has college in las Vegas???

unlv

lol he just ate a meal w/ the singer from smash mouth

Aren't they the same person?

Dr. Gobbler and Mr. Yuck

I actually spent a couple months at UNLV for a job. it's a really shitty place and it's getting worse as nevada continues its downward spiral. student center looks like a small airplane food court and is probably the most impressive part of campus. students would probably struggle at a better state's city colleges.

if y'all missed the food network special where guy and matthew mcconaughey bro'd down and cooked dinner together and drank cocktails YOU HAVEN'T LIVED

bongos y/n

bongos on set i believe but not played iirc

dudes are like tight bros, which surprised me but then suddenly made perfect sense

actually i take that back they did play bongos

YOO are lookin' streeeamlined

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKxfbRpEPu8&feature=related

Dr. Gobbler and Mr. Yuck

a Gaucho outtake

visual proof of bongo playing!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKxfbRpEPu8&feature=related

guy fieri seems like a tool and always with the pinky finger dipped in w/e is being cooked, but most of the places he visits look pretty outstanding and i like how they give you the lowdown on how the food is made.

seriously thought MacConaheyhey was gonna grab Fiery's balls there at about the 00:10 mark

Would totally smh MacCouugnahehyhey, especially in svelte form, if not for my fear that he smells like a dead squirrel.

saw that this dude has a football show wtf how many times a week do we need to see him

+ some commercial where he FIRES UP a tailgate party or something with his Ritz-cracker-based "cheesesteak slammers"

kinda surprised that the McConaheyhey Fieri dish isn't some kind of brownie dish. lol.

And he TOTALLY was going to go for Fieri's crotch. Like he remembered at the last minute that they weren't bro-ing down at home, they're bro-ing down **on camera**.

http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd118/embarchie/photo-20.jpg

LOL

Be great if the car was held hostage in exchange for Fieri destroying all his own kitchens and restaurants.

"I will return your car if you swear to forver forego frosted tips. Otherwise, the car dies."

expose on guy in the new city pages!

excited to read this

http://www.citypages.com/2011-10-12/restaurants/guy-fieri-in-diners-drive-ins-and-disasters/

I ended up passing by the actual restaurant in Sacramento the other month. Felt like going past a despoiled altar.

"You have to protect Guy from all of his poop jokes," Page says. "Anytime any woman mentioned 'cream,' Guy went into a sexual riff. When cutting the show, you had to tell the editors to watch Guy's eye line, because it's always on breasts."

Fieri also needed protection from homosexuals, or at least advance warning. Early in the show's run, Page got a phone call from Fieri, who'd just walked out of a restaurant in a huff.

"Guy had decided that the two men running the restaurant were life partners," Page remembers. "He said, 'You can't send me to talk to gay people without warning! Those people weird me out!'"

christ i bought his east carolina bbq sauce and this is how he repays me?

JADEDPUNKHULK ‏ @JADEDPUNKHULK

NO DOUBT ANNOUNCE / THREATEN WORLD WITH NEW RECORD. AT LEAST THEY GIVE US TIME TO PREPARE NOT TO BUY IT.

JADEDPUNKHULK ‏ @JADEDPUNKHULK

WE NEED NEW NO DOUBT RECORD LIKE WE NEED DUDE FROM DINERS DRIVE INS AND DIVES REFORMING SMASHMOUTH.

Diners has become a cultural phenomenon. Fans make pilgrimages across the country to visit restaurants featured on the show, using a branded iPhone app, "Flavortown," as their guide.

hello, readers of grantland

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/51142/the-guy-fieri-problem-on-the-next-food-network-star

(for the rest of you, scroll down to the "brisket sushi" link in that piece)

Guy Fieri is featuring my favorite sandwich shop on an upcoming episode and I have very mixed feelings about this.

There is a lot of perspiring, sometimes onto the plate. The losers are corralled into a boardroom, forced to watch tapes of themselves sputtering and holding leaky portobello mushroom caps

I thought Obama ended this 2003-era shit

tbh I am totally marvelling at this paragraph

Auditioning for commercials is not unlike competing on Food Network Star, in that you can be really effective — even Olympic-level proficient — at staring out a window or pretending to scoop ice cream, but still not book a job because whatever is charming or honest about you is concealed by the thick inches of air separating you from the camera lens, a dense custard of infinity that filters the humanity right out of the monologue

Last week, Alton Brown pinched his nasal bridge and tried to save a contestant on his team (whose "P.O.V." was health food, after having lost over a hundred pounds) by sharing a distinctly Alton Brown–like serving of profundity on what it is like to be overweight — one has to sell oneself because one feels so unattractive, so clumsy. It was sort of moving: So, Alton was once fat. The contestant cried, and then was eliminated. Nobody tasted his food.

there's this sandwich place, moochie's, that food network star guy fieri recently visited. i got the meatball sandwich and IT WAS HORRIBLE and the place gave me a panic attack. the end.

Noble Pig in Austin is really good, but I feel like I should hate it now

you probably got rickets from Guy Fieri's recooked sweat.

I've been very successful at ignoring all facts and knowledge about this dude because I didn't realize until now that he was a result of The Next Food Network Star

curse you, Food Network, curse you infinity times

Ok Guy Fieri, now it's personal.

So as mentioned previously, he was featuring my favorite sandwich shop on his show. I go there today for some lunch and find a line out the door and down the block. I don't care how awesome their food is, I'm not waiting in line for an hour in 90+ weather just to get a sandwich. My only hope now is that the mania either trails off or they expand.

Fuuuccckkk yoooouuu Guy Fieri!!!!

you probably got rickets from Guy Fieri's recooked sweat.

― a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, June 12, 2012 11:18 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this post still haunts my thoughts

Moodles

whos tess lynch & y she link 2 ilx

someone who's crashing our secret party!!!

http://www.salon.com/2012/10/19/the_butching_up_of_the_american_kitchen/

At the end of the day, the food at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar is garbage

talk about burying the lede

when I get a chance I'll post the highlights of a conversation I just had with a friend about this article

spoilers: Guy Fieri probably doesn't have a deep inner life

shouldn't guy fieri's sushi rolls be called gaijin sushi

when you say "inner life" around Guy Fieri he thinks you're referring to the babyback rib sushi rolls he's microwaving.

http://observer.com/2012/10/the-crispy-crimes-of-guy-fieri/?show=all

You are led by a cheery hostess — everyone who works at Guy’s American is very nice — past giant television screens showing an endless loop of Mr. Fieri opening his goatee-framed sphincter-mouth to welcome a panoply of fried matter

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101219050510/dune/images/7/7d/Guild_navigatortank.jpg

You are led by a cheery hostess — everyone who works at Guy’s American is very nice — past giant television screens showing an endless loop of Mr. Fieri opening his goatee-framed sphincter-mouth to welcome a panoply of fried matter

disappointed to learn Marilyn Hagerty didn't write this review

http://twitter.com/drcmachina/status/136290335138643968

like i was going to pass up this username

this guy's such an easy target, but i dont think i'll ever get tired of reading about him

hello, readers of grantland

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/51142/the-guy-fieri-problem-on-the-next-food-network-star

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, June 12, 2012 2:05 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(for the rest of you, scroll down to the "brisket sushi" link in that piece)

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, June 12, 2012 2:06 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark

wait... what the... what the hell. is she an ilxer

huh

damn!

Probably just a random googler.

this is the fourth result for "guy fieri sushi rolls"

A mammoth reproduction of one of Mr. Fieri’s tattoos, featuring Botticelli’s Venus with “Namaste” written above it and “Morgan,” the name of Mr. Fieri’s deceased sister, below, hangs next to the bar.

whoa

how many of you would eat this:

http://images.tblog.com/user_images/1175867819_cutepuppy.jpg

What if it had a voice?

What if it had a really annoying voice?

I'd hit it with my shoe before I'd put that in my mouth

http://static.stomp.com.sg/site/servlet/linkableblob/stomp/286202/data/091204_ss_insects1jpg1259912675838-data.jpg

enough about your sex life xp

I walked right into that

i would probably eat that and then feel really unhappy about it afterwards

I'd be afraid it'd crawl back out while I was sleeping

don't worry; it will

;_;

http://a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/119/97b4b790c8886984965942c5624da57c/l.jpg

this is turning into "Out With Stefon: A Photoessay"

it's getting very fetish-y

re: the article I posted:

The idea that the Fieri style of male interest in cooking or food is this overblown, hyper-stereotypically masculinized thing is ridiculous. As if cooking or knowledge of food preparation, as a non-professional, is somehow feminine so you have to do something to the process or result to make it masculine. It's obviously not true across the board, but I feel like the nuclear family structure with the homemaking wife has really destroyed the ability of men to cultivate actual interests beyond adolescent hyper-stylized versions of "man work" or "man hobbies." The Home Improvement analogy in the article is decent -- Fieri's restaurants aren't really about good food, they're about ridiculous stereotypes of food types that men are allowed to like. Which means 95% bbq, apparently.

I think among dudes I know who are into cooking, most are still much more likely to brag about buying a smoker than a nice food processor

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

mr veg is has a p good balance between the more stereotypical bbq dude and 'inside cooking' - very much into bbq, but will crow about the amazing onion & caper panade he made too :)

This thread just got very http://www.movie-censorship.com/www/SBs/4427963/e_cover.jpg

one of my friends will never let me forget the time I asked if he wanted to split a creme brulee w/ me

the other part of the conversation I had this morning was about how the other men cited in the article, Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain, aren't really the same sort of thing. Ramsay has assertive, bellowing bit down but has an actual food background. His media presence is pretty thin, character-wise, but he's capable of some nuance. Bourdain has a shtick, but his presented character is wider -- he'll talk about eating oysters as a kid while visiting relatives in France, or admit that shooting guns or whatever really makes him uncomfortable.

I think the tattoo-as-mural (namaste? venus? dead sister's name?) is another piece of evidence confirming that what we see of Fieri is pretty much his whole persona, there's no off-air different dude, and not that much depth

Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex? When you saw the burger described as “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche,” did your mind touch the void for a minute?

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/14/dining/reviews/restaurant-review-guys-american-kitchen-bar-in-times-square.html?pagewanted=2&_r=0&pagewanted=all

love it

DONKEY SAUCE

ATMOSPHERE 500 seats, three levels, three bars, one chaotic mess.

SERVICE The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.

DONKEY

SAUCE

"Donkey Sauce":

1 cup prepared mayonnaise
1/4 cup roasted garlic
1 teaspoon regular yellow mustard
4 dashes Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
4 pinches ground black pepper


Mix the mayonnaise, roasted garlic, mustard, Worcestershire, salt and pepper together until smooth. Yield: about 1 cup.

Groucho: Waiter, do you have donkey sauce here?
Waiter: Yes, sir.
Groucho: Well squeeze one and bring me a glass.

i don't get the trillin dis

it's not a dis

honestly the times getting all quiddities on this crap makes we want to defend it #teamfieri

Trillin did what fuckface donkey sauce does on his horrific show only he wrote about it instead of appearing on Teevee

http://www.culinate.com/books/collections/all_books/The+Tummy+Trilogy

xpost

yeah I kinda had the same feeling xp

hate the form of the review, enjoy its content

if not for the sake of those well-meaning but self-aware employees

that article is horrific--second person????

like idk it sounds like if you went to guy fieri's time square flavorville, you're not really doing any worse than going to the tgi fridays or olive garden or bubba gump that are also there

you're not doing any better, either

congrats guy fieri, you have gone to a zillion food places and tried to explain why they're good on air, and have come up with a restaurant no worse than applebees

give the tourists what they want

times square maps exactly to the interior of the mall of america basically, minus a naked cowboy or a spongebob rollercoaster or w/e

Can you dance with the Fieri by the pale moonlight? Can you?

honestly the times getting all quiddities on this crap makes we want to defend it #teamfieri

― goole, Tuesday, November 13, 2012 5:50 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

eh wells kind of takes pains to defend fried american cuisine, almost too much

The good news is your date is here.
The bad news is...he's dead.

when your adjective-to-noun rate exceeds the national average then you're in trouble

cmon if you can't write that review in the second person what can you write in the second person?

You laugh as you type this.

:)

Lol @ ILXors turning on a review of a Fieri joint that is exactly as harsh and mean as everything we've already said about Fieri just because it's structured as a series of bitchy questions

also it's in the American 'newspaper of record'

usa today?

guy fieri is the best

i've been saving this gif for when i want to big-up a post, but i havent found the right chance yet

http://i.imgur.com/xnbty.gif

so squinty

but then again so many of my dreams revolve around being rich, fat, drunk, and paid to eat on tv.

can he even open his eyes anymore

he's just so happy to be eating that foodstuff!

sodium-eyes

god he's like santa claus and swingers had some kinda wonderful eraserhead baby.

you're so merry and you don't even know it

god he's like santa claus and swingers had some kinda wonderful eraserhead baby.

and shat out a barbequeue chicken encrusted croquette

i bet if you poke him in the belly he giggles like the pilsbury doughboy

and then vomits donkey sauce and bourbon on you

did he make a silver dollar appear out of thin air with his free hand in that gif?

lol strongo itt

he turned that slice of barbeque chicken croquette pizza into a Susan B. Anthony coin.

cuz that's CALIFORNIA STYLE

i take my joy where i find it. and in this case i take it in the form of 300 pounds of greasy, cholesterol-sodden p.t. barnum slathered in bronzer and bleach.

SERVICE The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, November 13, 2012 5:43 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hah, i like the idea that its something other than a restaurant, a portal to another dimension, covert government experiment

diner drive in or dive

hah, i like the idea that its something other than a restaurant, a portal to another dimension, covert government experiment

like...Benghazi?

dun dun DUN

Ain't that America?

little pink houses slathered in donkey sauce for you and me

wtf is donkey sauce? (i hesitantly ask)

to date, who is the most powerful person who has won a reality show competition to become a star

if I'm not forgetting someone it could be fieri

to date, who is the most powerful person who has won a reality show competition to become a star

Mitt Romney.

"Donkey" Sauce:

1 cup prepared mayonnaise
1/4 cup roasted garlic
1 teaspoon regular yellow mustard
2 cups cries of screaming infants consigned to hell
4 dashes Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon your immortal sauce
4 pinches ground black pepper

Mix the mayonnaise, roasted garlic, mustard, Worcestershire, salt and pepper together until smooth. Yield: about 1 cup.

i hate recipes that include dashes

you're so merry and you don't even know it

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, November 13, 2012 6:36 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A+

4 em dashes Worcestershire sauce

Donkey Sauce really reminds me of these: http://overnighttomanydistantcities.blogspot.com/2007/05/donald-barthelmes-fine-homemade-soups.html

http://www.chalkitupsigns.com/chalkblog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/morgan.jpg

is donkey sauce supposed to be a play on arby's horsey sauce?

http://www.businessweek.com/investing/insights/blog/archives/horsey2.jpg

that article is great! the epistolary form totally works.

i feel like that needs to be distinguished from a second-person piece that would read like, "you walk into guy fieri's new restaurant. the host approaches you." those are pretty brutal

good point and tbf who amongst us hasnt wanted to ask guy fieri if he cant be fn serious

reading that article makes me want to die of an atherosclerotic heart attack

^my fav kind of heart attack

Sauce it up!™

i feel like that needs to be distinguished from a second-person piece that would read like, "you walk into guy fieri's new restaurant. the host approaches you." those are pretty brutal

like Marilyn Hagerty's reviews?

that article is great! the epistolary form totally works.

― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Tuesday, November 13, 2012 11:14 PM

otm

lol wmc i never noticed yr ray smuckles comparison til today. i think that might be the most succinct description ever of guy's appeal for me.

Direct challenge to DJP in that NYT review:

Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_BAZWqwf35Qc/TDed2V7bXUI/AAAAAAAADMk/Ei7ipsc5yFk/s1600/GuyFieriAC2009.jpg

FO' SHO

Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?

I read this and thought to myself "fuck, now I have to go to Guy Fieri's restaurant"

djp will you go to guy fieri's restaurant with me?

actually i am just going to extend this invitation to any ilxors on the upper east coast.

because i am going. one day. this is not an option.

we've already parsed the semiotics of djp's affection for blue martinis with radioactive isotopes floating in them

NYC FAP FO SHO

fun game: get a group of people and go to guy fieri's restaurant, but each person will order the food of somebody else in the group

going to a guy fieri restaurant is some hajj shit for me

un game: get a group of people and go to guy fieri's restaurant, but each person will order the food of vomit on somebody else in the group

http://i.imgur.com/gz6II.png

after drinking a radioactive blue martini, of course

"you walk into guy fieri's new restaurant. the host approaches you."

Worst Choose Your Own Adventure book ever.

djp will you go to guy fieri's restaurant with me?

FUCK YES I WILL

I have to do an NYC trip at some point anyway to visit FB and his fiancee so that would dovetail nicely

Disney World resorts serve this:

http://www.talkdisney.com/forums/attachments/disney-recipes/4638d1289747219-blue-glow-tini-disney-world-glowtini2.jpg

someone photoshop "dating a coworker" so it's "dating guy fieri"

FUCK YES I WILL

maybe he'll be there!

the Blue Glowtini is AWESOME btw

i'd have so many questions for him

foremost among my questions would be "what was it like touring with Third Eye Bling?" and "did you ever get a chance to meet Eddie Murphy or Mike Myers?"

"you seem to have lived a remunerative existence as a manic pig-ignorant toad consuming whatever comes his way like a vacuum cleaner. would you say my life choices are basically sound, then?"

the truly fucked up thing abt this restaurant is how expensive it is, you could get a really good meal somewhere else!

yeah but one doesn't go to mecca because you could pray to the wall of a gas station a lot easier

omg Third Eye Bling, I should make that happen

it would be all 3EB covers done in the style of mid-90s Bad Boy

I would totally try this place out of curiousity at this point but I bet the entrees are like 20 bux

xp

isn't there an Olive Garden in Times Square that's cheaper and serves better food?

and a souvenir blue glow cube

U DINT TELL US U GOT TO KEEP THE GLOW CUBE

olive gardens probably not cheaper. maybe better but

i don't think there's an appetizer less than 11 bucks on the menu!

times square olive garden is weirdly expensive too

YEAH BUT BOTTOMLESS SALAD BOWL

There's an ESPNZone in Times Square and you can sit in a giant recliner in front of a wall of TVs. Suck it, Fieri.

U DINT TELL US U GOT TO KEEP THE GLOW CUBE

WTF YES I DID

I wld eat guy fieri over olive garden tbh

that sounded gross

DJP wears it in his shirt pocket for work, fooling colleagues into thinking his left nipple is radioactive.

I sampled burger king's bacon sundae the first week it came out, otoh

I would go to this place if it was with you guys

Still roffling over the idea of Third Eye Bling.

I will say again, DJP and his glowtini was a sight to behold. He was truly a happy man that day.

dayo and mh and djp know what's up.

what did YOU order, Ned?

WTF YES I DID

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 10:13 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol my bad i mustve been blinded or hypnotized byt the glow or something

ilx worldfap to be held at guy's

what did YOU order, Ned?

Strongly suspect I just had a gin and tonic. It was a warm day.

500 seats let's not forget

one of just needs to win the lottery, then we could rent out the entire place for the day

actually I'm looking for the post where I said I took both of the glowing ice cubes home* and I can't find it, so maybe I said something right after the original visit

* BECAUSE I ORDERED TWO GLOWTINIS

is olive garden cheap not-in-nyc? cause the ones here are kinda ridiculously priced for cafeteria food

oh I'd totally go with you guys if we all shared one appetizer and went to an Arby's afterwards.

fun game: get a group of people and go to guy fieri's restaurant, but each person will order the food of somebody else in the group

― 乒乓, Wednesday, November 14, 2012 3:00 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^crucial

is olive garden cheap not-in-nyc? cause the ones here are kinda ridiculously priced for cafeteria food

― iatee, Wednesday, November 14, 2012 10:17 AM (27 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is the secret of all those casual dining chains, theyre wildly expensive, ever been to applebees goddamn

http://www.library.upenn.edu/exhibits/rbm/chef/images/fulldisplay/9_5_8.jpg

i just found out that applebees new slogan is "see you tomorrow"

hahahahahah

within the last 4 months I've eaten at both an outback steakhouse and an applebees, I think it def came out to like $15-25 per person each time

i mean i'd totally eat at applebees too if they had some commensurate personality

"APPLEBEE'S: Wouldn't it be funny to go to Applebee's?"

― Team Safeword (Abbbottt), Tuesday, July 17, 2012 1:41 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a screaming fat guy with red pipi longstocking hair and overalls called johnny applebees or something

ah okay, I never said I took the cubes home, Sara R-C just pointed out they were keepsake souvenirs:

LAID BACK GAUZE THE OLD TILE WAS GATTING ON SCHOOL DAZE AND MOLLIFIED FOLEY CATHETERS NOW OPTIMIZED WITH PREMIUM CONTENT FOR USERS BITTEN IN THE EYE BY PIPE BOMBS (PS: BOOTY POPS IS STR8 HO HO HO)

god I thought by hiding ITR from SNA I would be forever escaped from those thread titles

ive only eaten at applebees once in my life and have no memory of the food, only the decor

that thread title reads like guy f. on a pcp bender tbqh

wow yr story is really starting to crumble huh DO U EVE USE THE GLOW CUBES AT HOME TO MAKE YRSELF BLUE DRINKS

the batteries are dead now ;_;

dang im so... sry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwhsHpCkiKw

if i ever do win the lottery i want to make guy recreate this scene for me every birthday

outback steakhouse is a tier (maybe two) above applebees

not sure where chili's ranks now, it used to be slightly above applebees

my friend who does a lot of road food-style blog writing made me go to all the chain places a couple years ago

how bad can this be

http://www.applebees.com/menu/~/media/ABs0625/AM_Images/Menu%20B/Main_Dishes/Sizzling_Double_Barrel_Whisky_Sirloins.jpg?h=194&w=283

it doesn't boast a blue glowtini ice cube but still

http://colorado-steakhouse.com/images/applebees4.jpg

probably edible, steak a little overcooked and the seasonings obviously from a mix, potatoes probably come in a vacuum bag

primary seasoning: salt. overwhelming flavor profile: bland

needs more pepper jack

ribs from applebees I don't even

are they trying to be chilis, that is a weird kind of aspirational

not gonna lie, in honor of this thread i put pepper jack on my bagel this morning

how much of a step above olive garden is bertucci's (if at all?) because i've eaten at bertucci's tons of times but have never been to olive garden in my life

I thought they were chicken wings! lol

Applebee's CEO is one of those I'll-have-to-fire-people-because-Obama-won motherfuckers.