https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEQ8jyvmYtw
Marky Mark and The Rock are bodybuilders. They rob Tony Shalhoub. He sics Ed Harris on them. Explosions. SWAT teams. A Pontiac Fiero. I am So There.
― 誤訳侮辱, Saturday, 22 December 2012 18:57 (eleven years ago) link
What in the shit
― autistic boy is surprisingly good at basketball (silby), Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:12 (eleven years ago) link
eh. ed harris and the fiero might be sorta watchable
― Aimless, Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:23 (eleven years ago) link
well this looks awesome
― packt like phoebe cates's dad in a chimney (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:24 (eleven years ago) link
THIS IS A TRUE STORY with made-up dialogue, a half dozen movie stars pretending to be ordinary schlumps, a pulsating sound track, and candy-corn cinematograpy, but... true?
― Aimless, Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:27 (eleven years ago) link
go shit in some serious thread, serious-man
― packt like phoebe cates's dad in a chimney (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:28 (eleven years ago) link
the minute the words "MICHAEL BAY" appear in a thread title i think you can be sure none of us are anticipating this based on merit
― packt like phoebe cates's dad in a chimney (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:29 (eleven years ago) link
BAYWATCH thread
― Aimless, Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:30 (eleven years ago) link
Might be fun, but I don't think I'm willing to endure Bay's usual epileptic editing.
― Pauper Management Improved (Sanpaku), Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:30 (eleven years ago) link
the article series it's based on is a pretty incredible read
http://www.miaminewtimes.com/specialReports/pain-and-gain-from-new-times-story-to-michael-bay-film-1890864/
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, December 19, 2012 9:07 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark
― Gukbe, Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:52 (eleven years ago) link
After reading that story I feel that only the Coen Brothers could have done it justice. This is going to be distasteful in all the wrong ways.
― Gukbe, Saturday, 22 December 2012 19:53 (eleven years ago) link
Will be on TV every Saturday afternoon 2017-2025.
― your damn bass clarinet (Eazy), Saturday, 22 December 2012 22:34 (eleven years ago) link
So this is basically 'The Fast & The Furious' but with only one sweet car?
― I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Saturday, 22 December 2012 22:41 (eleven years ago) link
the article series it's based on is a pretty incredible readhttp://www.miaminewtimes.com/specialReports/pain-and-gain-from-new-times-story-to-michael-bay-film-1890864/― turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, December 19, 2012 9:07 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark― Gukbe, Saturday, December 22, 2012 7:52 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Gukbe, Saturday, December 22, 2012 7:52 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― brimstead, Tuesday, 22 January 2013 00:37 (eleven years ago) link
that is an insane story!
― Nhex, Tuesday, 22 January 2013 05:07 (eleven years ago) link
Gonna enjoy the shit out of this ridic movie.
― Frobisher the (Viceroy), Tuesday, 22 January 2013 06:26 (eleven years ago) link
from the trailer it looks like bay's turning lugo into just another guy trying to get out of winesburg, ohio
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 01:24 (eleven years ago) link
when i read the story, the movie in my mind was somewhere between man bites dog and dead man's shoes
the trailer makes it look "hilarious", which is sort of a weird take. like maybe the twist at the end will feel like vindication for our lovable lunks instead of the rug being pulled out??
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 09:11 (eleven years ago) link
sounds like reading the article is going to harsh my buzz from that EXCELLENT TRAILER
thank u michael bay for making a non-douchebag spring breakers
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 23 January 2013 10:24 (eleven years ago) link
the article is completely nuts yet very familiar, the sort of thing elmore leonard might write
what strikes me more than anything, reading it, is how incredibly dim these guys were to have gotten away with it for so long. it just doesn't seem possible that guys that dumb would be able to fool that many people for that long.
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 10:30 (eleven years ago) link
I've said it before but it would make a great Coen Brothers film. They can mix the horror and the black comedy of dimwits better than anyone. I just want to see how Michael Bay ends the film. I have a feeling it's going to be more 30 Minutes or Less, only more insistent on its "true story" bonafides.
― Gukbe, Wednesday, 23 January 2013 10:33 (eleven years ago) link
point break 2 dir bigelow imo
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 23 January 2013 10:55 (eleven years ago) link
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, January 23, 2013 5:30 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark
the terrifying indifference of the miami pd was probably their biggest asset there
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 13:06 (eleven years ago) link
"Micheal Bay still makes movies...there is no god"
― xyzzzz__, Wednesday, 23 January 2013 13:14 (eleven years ago) link
you and me both; to me it's not "how could human beings do such a thing", it's "how did they not get caught?"
― frogbs, Wednesday, 23 January 2013 17:02 (eleven years ago) link
so this movie
― Gukbe, Friday, 26 April 2013 04:42 (eleven years ago) link
Jc • an hour ago −Wow. Somebody has a raging hate-boner! Being a film critic, you should know that a director is a lot like a character actor. They pick a style and rhythm, wether its their personal conviction or not, and uses that style throughout the movie. Calling Bay a homophobe or sexual deviant makes you look ridiculous. You spent more time personally attacking the director than reviewing the film. And the last sentence just wraps up your disdain. "Depressingly successful"? The transformers movies are amazing. As a child of the 80's I have an incredible amount of respect and appreciation for the way he presented something that was a huge part of my youth. Go back to your butt-darts competition and let someone who isn't riddled with hate review this movie.
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 26 April 2013 16:45 (eleven years ago) link
wish he would make his long-threatedned "art film"
presumably consisting entirely of slo-mo shots of exploding porpoises
― four Marxes plus four Obamas plus four Bin Ladens (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 26 April 2013 16:51 (eleven years ago) link
butt-darts?
― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Friday, 26 April 2013 17:01 (eleven years ago) link
this is it, dude
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Friday, 26 April 2013 17:52 (eleven years ago) link
Saw this today. It's funny at times, but the trailer is super misleading ultimately - this is one of the darkest movies I've ever seen. Put it this way: This is a movie in which The Rock, blasted on coke, is cooking four human hands on a barbecue grill when a title pops up onscreen that reads "THIS IS STILL A TRUE STORY." Recommended, of course, but the trailer is a little misleading as to just how fucked a view of human existence this movie is really presenting.
― 誤訳侮辱, Sunday, 28 April 2013 20:57 (eleven years ago) link
The real story is incredibly fucked up! I wondered how misleading the trailers were going to be.
― Nhex, Sunday, 28 April 2013 21:14 (eleven years ago) link
Put it this way: This is a movie in which The Rock, blasted on coke, is cooking four human hands on a barbecue grill when a title pops up onscreen that reads "THIS IS STILL A TRUE STORY."
tbh this sounds fucking incredible
― ta-nehisi goatse (fadanuf4erybody), Sunday, 28 April 2013 21:17 (eleven years ago) link
Dude, The Rock gives the performance of his career to date in this movie. He's the best thing about it by such a huge margin it's amazing.
― 誤訳侮辱, Sunday, 28 April 2013 21:30 (eleven years ago) link
it's pretty good. what's funny is how contiguous it is with bay's previous work - not really a departure in terms of the bleakness of his worldview or unrestrained stylistic approach. the whole thing mostly works, though the ending was a tad self-satisfied for my taste. the rock & wahlberg are both great. bay gets wahlberg to do a scene wearing only calvin klein tighty whities. larry hankin rubs his hands on the rock's pecs and says 'you're so buff' and then the rock wonders in voiceover 'why was he telling me i was buff?' wahlberg's scene where he's dunking on kids is uncannily like the marky mark POW video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B-qMqLqESQ
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Sunday, 28 April 2013 21:35 (eleven years ago) link
yeah, need to see this
― controversial vegan pregnancy (contenderizer), Sunday, 28 April 2013 21:36 (eleven years ago) link
this was deliriously stupid and ott and totally fun, although i felt like i needed to take a shower by the end
― buh, Sunday, 28 April 2013 21:55 (eleven years ago) link
Michael Bay has accidentally critiqued himself.
― Gukbe, Sunday, 28 April 2013 22:06 (eleven years ago) link
Why do you say "accidentally"? I feel like people treat Bay like a retarded kid with a billionaire dad or something. The guy rose up making commercials—he knows exactly what he's doing. If this movie is a critique of previous Michael Bay movies, which in some ways it is, it's also a critique of American culture as a whole, and a fairly sharp one at times.
― 誤訳侮辱, Sunday, 28 April 2013 22:23 (eleven years ago) link
otm
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Sunday, 28 April 2013 22:39 (eleven years ago) link
By the way: Does anybody else who's seen it feel like this was Michael Bay's attempt at making a Tony Scott movie? I was strongly reminded of Domino (which I love too btw).
― 誤訳侮辱, Sunday, 28 April 2013 22:52 (eleven years ago) link
i've never seen a Bay-directed movie, but I love Anthony Mackie so ya never know.
― Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 28 April 2013 23:16 (eleven years ago) link
This sounds kinda amazing
― Raymond Cummings, Monday, 29 April 2013 03:39 (eleven years ago) link
i can get with showing Michael Bay some love, if just in terms of technique. though i've only seen two of his movies -- bad boys (which was enjoyable) and the 1st transformers (which was OK but lol Shia LaBeouf so i can hate on it too i think).
― wedgie jackson (Eisbaer), Monday, 29 April 2013 08:28 (eleven years ago) link
"showing some love": find other words
― Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 April 2013 12:16 (eleven years ago) link
morbs hates love
― we're up all night to get (s1ocki), Monday, 29 April 2013 13:18 (eleven years ago) link
no, "loving" makes sense, "showing some love" is attempted hipster irony
― Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 April 2013 13:22 (eleven years ago) link
is it now
― balls, Monday, 29 April 2013 13:29 (eleven years ago) link
*attempts hipster irony*
― we're up all night to get (s1ocki), Monday, 29 April 2013 13:35 (eleven years ago) link
it's for "stans"
― Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 April 2013 14:01 (eleven years ago) link
define 'stans' for me morbs
― balls, Monday, 29 April 2013 14:07 (eleven years ago) link
ask max
― Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 April 2013 14:09 (eleven years ago) link
o i know what max would tell me, i'm curious what definition you're using there
― balls, Monday, 29 April 2013 14:13 (eleven years ago) link
uh let's hold our horses on the "bay knows what he's doing" thing, the script is satirical but the execution is certainly not, and that conflict sorta ruins any hope this movie had of being internally consistent or logical or w/e.
but otherwise it is p. entertaining, as mentioned the rock is amazing and most of the other actors are quite good as well.
― call all destroyer, Monday, 29 April 2013 14:15 (eleven years ago) link
I don't think Michael Bay has a sense of irony. He reminds me of guitar shredders who convince themselves that just because they can play faster flurries of more notes, they're the better guitarist. Sort of the auteur side of a fan's tautology. "If the movie sucks, then why did I like it so much?" "If my movies suck, then why do they make millions of dollars?" "If I suck, then why do I drive Ferraris and date hot models?"
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 29 April 2013 14:20 (eleven years ago) link
i fully expect this movie will have bay's usual dose of racism and misogyny but it also might be the best bay movie since 'the rock'. i hope so anyway, everything he's done since that one has been terrible (possible exception of 'the island'.)
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 29 April 2013 15:10 (eleven years ago) link
haha The Island was so stupid but so fun
― Call me at **BITCOIN (DJP), Monday, 29 April 2013 15:19 (eleven years ago) link
also I liked Bad Boys II but we already went over on its thread how I'm a horrible person etc
― Call me at **BITCOIN (DJP), Monday, 29 April 2013 15:22 (eleven years ago) link
yeah i kinda liked the island
― call all destroyer, Monday, 29 April 2013 15:23 (eleven years ago) link
all i remember about the island was the insane product placement.
― Gukbe, Monday, 29 April 2013 15:24 (eleven years ago) link
uh let's hold our horses on the "bay knows what he's doing" thing, the script is satirical but the execution is certainly not
that doesn't prove that he doesn't know what he's doing; the fact that he at least partly thinks lugo's psychotic fantasy is cool and made a movie about how cool it is, isnt some absurd accident. i dont necessarily think bay the individual is super bright, but as a filmmaker he's extremely canny (more than most directors) about getting the effect he wants. the lack of ironic distance in P&G makes it a lot more interesting than the obvious juxtapositions of eg., Spring Breakers (which i liked)
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Monday, 29 April 2013 19:22 (eleven years ago) link
Bad Boys II is a masterpiece of bad taste, it's his best non-Rock movie
― ta-nehisi goatse (fadanuf4erybody), Monday, 29 April 2013 19:28 (eleven years ago) link
xp but the script seems like it was pretty heavy on ironic distance! i think mostly the v.o., as juxtaposed with the in-scene dialog and glorified mayhem. all the quasi-patriotic self-help stuff, and the fact that the film seems to at least partially approve of it, results in a very weird effect, and if that effect was what bay was going for i'm not sure that was a great decision.
― call all destroyer, Monday, 29 April 2013 19:44 (eleven years ago) link
fully expect this movie will have bay's usual dose of racism and misogyny
you will not be disappointed
― buh, Monday, 29 April 2013 20:30 (eleven years ago) link
i enjoyed bad boys ii also but purely for 'gabrielle union hubba hubba' reasons
― balls, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 01:22 (eleven years ago) link
yeahh this was....not very good
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 01:42 (eleven years ago) link
it's almost a satire for abt 20 mins but i dont think bay could really commit to it (not that it wouldve been any good but itd at least be different), too many pandering gags & joeky setups, way too much voiceover filler
the rock really shouldve done the weird shit w/ his fingers calling back southland tales
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 01:49 (eleven years ago) link
the lack of ironic distance in P&G makes it a lot more interesting than the obvious juxtapositions of eg., Spring Breakers (which i liked)
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Monday, April 29, 2013 3:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
it's very marginally more interesting than spring breakers (which is garbage)
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 01:54 (eleven years ago) link
agreed re: voiceover and pandering gags (tho them being such dated gags bothered me more than the pandering aspect), which is why i liked it and didnt love it
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 02:34 (eleven years ago) link
The voiceover stuff would have been fine had the movie stuck solely to the Gang's POV - having Ed Harris's private detective chime in breaks the spell somewhat. Gives us too clean a break from the madness.
Seeing the movie and then reading the articles - the stuff that turns out to have been combined or invented turns out to be pretty much exactly what I'd figured it would be based on the fact that this is a Michael Bay movie.
― Simon H., Wednesday, 1 May 2013 02:48 (eleven years ago) link
yeah harris' v/o struck me as the most unnecessary, plus his marge gunderson ending was pretty unearned
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 02:55 (eleven years ago) link
such dated gags
biggest laugh/reaction in my theater was shaloubs fat roommate in the hospital who shits all over the bathroom stall
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 03:14 (eleven years ago) link
tho i guess that is never untimely, is more on the pandering tip
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 03:16 (eleven years ago) link
also bothered me that ken jeongs character sez 'hot mess' in 1995
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 03:17 (eleven years ago) link
good point, esp. since they seemed to be trying to be real leading edge when it came to lol 90s stuff
― call all destroyer, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 03:19 (eleven years ago) link
im always game for an explosive diarrhea joke. hated the musty & dusty slide projector gag
― johnny crunch, Tuesday, April 30, 2013 11:17 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark
mackie pumping up one of the guy's hes training by telling him he's kobe beef bugged me. wasnt nobody talkin bout no damn kobe beef in 1995... maybe in the fine dining world they were but not this guy. also, the schlotsky's deli was clearly one of the new rebranded ones, not a vintage 90s schlotsky's. dug the condom billboard though
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 03:32 (eleven years ago) link
just read the miami new times series on this story - HOLY SHIT
― balls, Sunday, 5 May 2013 03:56 (eleven years ago) link
haha yeah.
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Sunday, 5 May 2013 04:15 (eleven years ago) link
On the apparent (I haven't seen it yet) failure or lack of willingness of "Pain & Gain" to reflect upon its basis in reality, and also Spring Breakers. Interesting enough.
http://www.popmatters.com/pm/column/171180-spring-breakers-pain-gain-and-postmodern-folly-at-the-movies/
― Mule, Friday, 10 May 2013 10:09 (eleven years ago) link
this was a lot of fun
― "Dave Barlow" is the name Lou uses on sabermetrics baseball sites (s.clover), Saturday, 31 August 2013 02:34 (ten years ago) link
Just re-watched this (I bought the DVD). The most utterly & perfectly American movie of 2013. The Rock deserves an Oscar.
― Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Saturday, 14 December 2013 20:05 (ten years ago) link
i laughed my ass off, this was so much better than I thought. Not perfect, and agree upthread there was way too much voiceover and corny bullshit, but basically it's like bodybuilding serial killers star in Bad Boys III. I dunno if Bay was parodying himself because of the 90's setting or that's the only way he knows how to make movies set in Miami but hey, I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. Mainly I dug it because this is the role that I've been DYING to see The Rock play. He was hilarious. And Wahlberg plays a good meathead.
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 December 2013 06:19 (ten years ago) link
i hear eeeenormously homophobic
― eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Monday, 30 December 2013 06:36 (ten years ago) link
well it's Michael Bay, who constructed an entire "comedy" scene around Martin Lawrence and Will Smith sounding "gay" in an electronics store.
― Insane Prince of False Binaries (Gukbe), Monday, 30 December 2013 06:50 (ten years ago) link
Actually that could be indicative of what I find so troubling about P&G: The characters would be totally homophobic, so representing them as such isn't a problem. The actual problem is that it's one of the many aspects that Bay seems to really enjoy about them.
― Insane Prince of False Binaries (Gukbe), Monday, 30 December 2013 06:51 (ten years ago) link
http://www.theverge.com/2014/1/6/5281542/watch-michael-bay-melt-down-onstage-at-ces
hahaha
― polyphonic, Monday, 6 January 2014 22:45 (ten years ago) link
aaaawkward
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 6 January 2014 22:49 (ten years ago) link
was hoping he'd say "fuck it we'll do it live"
― Hungry4Ass, Monday, 6 January 2014 22:56 (ten years ago) link
hit EJECT after 33 minutes, i'm fine with that decision
― eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 17:18 (ten years ago) link
"this kid's parents took him to Paris, and France"
haha i get it he's stoopit
― eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 16 January 2014 19:54 (ten years ago) link
did u finish it
― Hungry4Ass, Thursday, 16 January 2014 20:48 (ten years ago) link
Streaming on Netflix starting the 10th
― Alvarius B. Goode (WilliamC), Friday, 2 May 2014 17:17 (ten years ago) link
Just started watching this, pretty fun.
― RAP GAME SHANI DAVIS (Raymond Cummings), Sunday, 21 December 2014 23:35 (nine years ago) link
"You love those big bitches, and they love to eat. It's okay!"
― RAP GAME SHANI DAVIS (Raymond Cummings), Sunday, 21 December 2014 23:42 (nine years ago) link
great movie
― Unchanging Window (Ross), Monday, 26 June 2017 00:52 (six years ago) link