ilx posts with striking imagery

like excelsior, but for effort into responses other than lols.

the lp will never arrive
& the bitrate of the mp3s will deteriorate by 1kbps each passing day
until you are left
with just a shadow
of something
you barely got to hold on to

― schlump, Tuesday, February 5, 2013 12:28 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not an auspicious start

skull custard redux

a striking preposition

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a190/jamawalk2/Slapped-by-Glenn-Ford-640.jpg

in the united states of new hampshire ice will be shipped down canals from the mountains, huge blocks of it, covered in saw dust, accompanied by men from the Ice Guild, who wear robes and symbolic chains around their necks and chant mournfully in a dialect of english that is only theirs

― max, Thursday, March 15, 2012 11:09 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I spent my weekends in a planned community. Cul-de-sacs out the wazoo. Walking and biking paths snaking through the neighborhoods. Only two ways into the town. Playgrounds close by. That part of town where every street was named after a PGA golfer.

As a kid, my step-brother and I would enter a drainage tunnel and walk along through it to see where we'd come out at. Our local playground was this "tree-house", where there was a long tube with a ladder inside it that would lead to a circular platform, walled off with metal bars.

It must've looked pretty sharp when people started moving in during the late 70s, but by the time we were done with it around 1990, all that new had worn off in a bad way. All those houses with the wooden facades started looking pretty bad. Traffic was getting heavier, winding up and down those curvy streets to the cul-de-sac of your choice. Those walking and bike paths that went between and behind the houses were perfect for scoping out burglaries, peeping toms and even the occasional rape. People kept peeing down the tube of our "tree-house", so the community nailed plywood over the openings.

We went back over there recently for a Christmas party. There's a big five lane "loop" going around the city, mere feet from some people's backyards. They razed all the land around the lake my family would picnic at, so now it looks like this little pond surrounded by strip malls and Walmart Neighborhood Grocery. Those two routes into the city were clogged and I read that they're thinking about adding a third artery, if the state highway department lets them put in a new interchange on the interstate.

Instead of the planned "New Town" that the commercials for the place advertised, it looks now just like a regular town... albeit one that is choking itself through the shortsighted planning of that utopia that never quite came to pass. And it's STILL 30 minutes removed from any other city. I don't know why people still move out to those brick mini mcmansions on the slab. The crime is still there. The county property taxes are the same as in the "big" city. You can't see the stars at night. I honestly couldn't tell you what is the pay-out for all that.

― pplains, Monday, February 18, 2013 10:03 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ilx posts with striking imagery

today i leave hawaii forever

my god is coming with

― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Monday, February 18, 2013 12:52 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

1982. we were due to drive back from the Dordoyne region of France to catch the ferry back to the UK, this is a drive of 14 hours straight. five of us travelling, mum dad 3 kids in a regular sized family saloon.
the night before we ate local market scallops on the barbie. oops. the next morning i got up and went to the toilet with my guts churning. This wasn't like your regular runny tummy - this was beyond pebbledash, this was bad, this was like pissing out of my arse, gallons and gallons of the stuff.

Oh if i could minute every torturous bump and rev and braking in that car. we had this stuff called diocalm. the stated daily dose was 6 tablets a day i necked 'em tablets 2 an hour for the next 14 hours. the car was boiling, dry heat 80F-ish, i was drinkin about 2ltr water per hour. Diocalm gave my bowels a half-chance, they were straining at the leash, ferocious but i could just about clench it back. Without that stuff the inside of our car would have have looked like chocolate Coronation Street but smelt a lot worse. this was nothing short of karmic payback. payback for all the times i'd sung running down the gutter like a melted piece of butter, diarrohea, diarreaha - people think it's funny but it's really wet and runny, diarrohea etc. i butt-clenched my way through countless service station lobbies so i could go lose another six pints. some of those toilets were so traumatizing they turned black and white in my memory within five minutes of leaving them.

― john clarkson, Wednesday, April 19, 2006 8:55 PM (6 years ago)

Two summers ago I was staying at a friend's house in his village outside Cambridge. He had a hunting license and a number of shotguns, and I agreed to go out shooting with him. On the first day I hit nothing save for a tin can. On the second day, we lay in wait in a copse until a plump woodpigeon sat athwart an overhead branch. I brought it down with one blast and wrung its neck before stuffing it into my jacket. Later that evening we would eat its breast, fried and then halved, over toast. But what stays from me particularly was what happened shortly afterwards. An oncoming rustle from a hedgerow alerted me to some impending beast. Yet I was stayed from cocking my gun - lack of hunter's instinct perhaps - as then a bright fox burst from the grasses and stood not three yards away. We contemplated one another and then the fox set off in a straight line away from me, at no more than a brisk trot. My friend had spoken of a local fox who had long eluded his sights - perhaps this was the very one - anyhow, I cocked my gun, raised it to my shoulder as instructed, took aim at the target from a distance of approximately thirty to forty feet, and fired. I am not sure what force tilted my arm that day, but the fox, intact, veered back into the undergrowth, and barring a subsequent half-hearted crack at a flying pheasant that naturally also missed, I have never fired a weapon since. Indeed, I am grateful that I never did hit that fox, for foxes are magnificent animals, dear to me since early youth, and I would hate to have slain some beast I wasn't even intending to eat. The pigeon? It is done, and it will not be done again.

― acoleuthic, Sunday, October 3, 2010 12:01 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

striking misuse of the word "athwart"

ah, intemperate bachelorhood

Shosh is that girl on your dorm hallway who showers twice a day, watches more TV than all the other people on that hall put together, wears pink tracksuits, keeps all her childhood stuffed animals and is secretly fucking the catering manager/a townie.

― karl lagerlout (suzy), Tuesday, March 5, 2013 12:25 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ilx posts with striking imagery

ilx posts with striking imagery

Gudjohnsen is Chelsea's best striker
― Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, April 7, 2004 6:12 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark

in the realm of pop culture I think social media/performance theory today has roughly the same weight as mixed media/postmodern theory in the 90s; I can v. easily see Palmer ditching the music and nabbing a gig that’s more highbrow/academic. let’s not forget that Spooky’s greatest credential is his ecstatic vision of postmodernism as a playground f/ limitless self-realization inextricably linked w/ oblivious and compulsive production that’s packaged and sold as an intoxicating stew of reified, idealized narcissism that only secondarily employs music and text and film. in the rarified circles to which AP and Spooky aspire, only success is success, and success is the only necessary credential f/ any endeavor (meaning Palmer’s future may actually depend on her continuation down her current path, and I’m sure she’ll be fine).

― Hellhouse, Thursday, March 21, 2013 12:43 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he gives a weird finger... some people throw a weird bird.

― scott seward, Friday, 1 June 2012 13:39 (9 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the only restaurant worth eating at in all of north america is arby's drive-thru.

― dylannn, Tuesday, March 19, 2013 4:25 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

chatty filipina girl greeting, jamocha shake, first lick of liquid cheese/bbq sauce emulsification off the papercovered tinfoil, extra roast beef, horsey sauce on everything, curly fries, finished off with a fat hogleg of skoal cherry as you peel out of the parking lot, garbage out the window.

― dylannn, Tuesday, March 19, 2013 4:29 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*plays springsteeny chords*

more machine gun kelly than springsteen i think

elmo: haha get a nutritionist u slob

*the ground rumbles as buzz, now in the form of a monster truck sized katamari ball made of gucci products, rolls over elmo and the light dies from his stupid eyes*

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i was incredibly pleased recently to find my old, pre-smart-phone phone, which i hadn't used in ~ 4 years. it still had a charge. i put in a spare SIM card and all my old contacts were still there somehow, many of which i had no idea who they were, and for a second it was like i really had gone back in time. i loved that fucking phone.

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, March 29, 2013 6:57 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

did it remember your high score in snake?

― your holiness, we have an official energy drink (Z S), Friday, March 29, 2013 7:26 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that phone didn't have snake. i can't remember what it had actually. i didn't play games on it. it had the internet, but only over GPRS (the "circle" connection on an iPhone, i.e. practically useless) so i never used it. i can vividly remember the anxiety that welled up when i realized i didn't have any reading material for a train ride though. the surreptitious angling for a discarded evening standard on the other side of the carriage.

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Saturday, March 30, 2013 7:08 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Everybody: Carl and I used to work at a casual-fine-dining Low-Country-Asian fusion restaurant and bakery where in the stinking hot Carolina summer, I would dip into the bushel of corn starch barrel and liberally apply it to my hot, clammy body.

― Je55e, Friday, April 5, 2013 5:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

in the united states of new hampshire ice will be shipped down canals from the mountains, huge blocks of it, covered in saw dust, accompanied by men from the Ice Guild, who wear robes and symbolic chains around their necks and chant mournfully in a dialect of english that is only theirs

― max, Thursday, March 15, 2012 11:09 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^ initially read this as being about "ice cream," not "ice" and it was even more striking

i also read the thread title as a sentence with a subject and a verb, a la "gaby thirsts for knowledge"

did you hear that time is a bulldozer that destroys everything in its path and soon all will be as dust???! like this if ur an 80s kid!!!

― the bagel is the bagel (donna rouge), Wednesday, April 10, 2013 8:57 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm starting a milton collection and whoever owned it before me was just an awful human being - vertical lines, underlines, notes in the margins, writing OVER THE WORDS THEMSELVES, literally coloring entire pages with crayon...

― brony james (k3vin k.), Friday, April 12, 2013 4:18 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

bloodstains, entire pages ripped out, burn marks, receipts for tanning salon visits stuck between pages, nail clippings, and one page a solitary daisy from Lord knows when, pressed as flat and lifeless as a butterfly in a lepidopterist's display case.

― He has a lot of baggage (handlers' perks) (Michael White), Friday, April 12, 2013 4:28 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

when i annotate books i am writing for eternity

but here i am writing for you alone, here in this moment we share

― j., Sunday, April 14, 2013 4:49 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i think contenderizer is making fun of me in this message but still, it's well written:

yes, you detect the presence of evil, and psychic spines extend from the surface of your astral shell into the offending region. i think we're on the same page.

― I have many lovely lacy nightgowns (contenderizer), Monday, April 15, 2013 12:57 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Interestingly as I approach 100 floors I now am able to feel both ashamed of my mistakes and frustrated at the impudence of fate just as I were playing a real game with failure and consequences and shit. This weekend I accidentally built TWO recreational floors in a row, causing demand for that class to drop, and on top of that motherfuckin' Tiny Tower God gave me a goddamn theatre and a planetarium, which FUCK YOU only one guy has a dream job at the theater so the rest are seasonal stiffs who stock at the normal rate. Slowing down my revenue means it takes forever to build new floors so recovering from this tactical error is going to take all week. SHIT.

Also this game proves, perversely, the value of collective bargaining. If my 180 wage slave population individually approached me for free rent, I'd happily oblige, since rent is now a piddle proportion of my daily profit. If they struck for a larger slice of the pie that currently accrues I, as the "benevolent" overlord of this arcology that exists strictly as a vehicle for my amusement and outlet for my various latent mental disorders, I'd be well fucked. Firing my dream jobbers would be excruciating. If there's anything to learn from Tiny Tower, it's that scabs should be a terrifying prospect for any capitalist - thankfully, Tiny is a right-to-work state, like all game development studios and other "creative" workplaces.

― El Tomboto, Monday, April 15, 2013 10:28 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

also one time i was at a karaoke night for a friend's birthday and this kinda overweight nerdy kid sang something really jammy for karaoke while wearing his black canvas backpack and it made me really happy because he looked like such a dork and he seemed like he just dngaf and then later that night i was getting out of a cab to go to a party and i saw that same kid still wearing his backpack and invited him up to the party and told him that i liked his backpack and then apologized for calling him 'backpack' but then the girls who's place it was was really mad at me cuz it turned out this kid looked like he was like 15 and it was supposed to be a cool drug party or w/e and he was obv really uncomfortable w/the whole scene so i had to get him to leave after his first drink but he didnt seem to mind that much

anyway the moral of the story is that backpacks are so cool that they can get you invited to parties but also asked to leave parties

― Reggie (Lamp), Tuesday, 16 April 2013 16:24 (Yesterday) Permalink

People use alcohol to get up the nerve to do a lot of things: talk to girls, get in fights, dangerous stunts, whatever. For me, it takes getting drunk to do serious house cleaning. Last night a pint of Tanqueray had me on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor. A kitchen floor that, when I looked at it sober, the best I could do was scowl at.

― how's life, Friday, May 3, 2013 5:35 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Guitars sounding powerful yet awkward, like an adolescent robot stork.

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, July 4, 2001 7:00 PM (11 years ago)

ha!

i started wandering around searching for clues which is not in the spirit of the game but
kills time
sometimes you're somewhere familiar and you can take a good guess from the hints around you, oh i might be in the ukraine but sometimes it's just a blind great paranoid wander down a dirt road in the boreal forest with no signs of life except suddenly a dog on the road, suddenly an unreadable highway sign, a crossroads and you have to decide which way will bring you to some hint of your location faster. you eventually hit pavement and see a few big trucks passing you. but any streetsign could be thousands of clicks, thousands of screen reloads in either direction. you might be in northern michigan or northern saskatchewan.

― dylannn, Friday, May 10, 2013 6:59 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

google maps survivalism

buddy, get back to Guess the City

the crisp crunch and cheesy give of a pizza.

a few hours ago, a guy with a cowboy hat came in, looked a lot like don imus, and asked me questions about my life and he also told me: "i've got a son named dylan," bob dylan's birthday was on may 24th, and bob dylan is 72 years old. he told me that he divorced his wife on bob dylan's birthday. his wife was a canadian public radio personality whose name i recognized. he asked me if i was a musician. he gave me a cd, broke out the back sheet from it and signed it with a sharpie, THANKS FOR LISTENING. i'm listening to it right now and there's a song on the cd called "a lonely place called divorce" and there's a line on it about divorcing his wife on bob dylan's birthday. there's another song warning women to treat him well or they'll end up as a line in his suicide letter.

i was impressed with his commitment to his personal vision of his own character. but it made almost too neat an anecdote to share, black and white jim jarmusch short neat. maybe the one armed man story should have been filed in the same category.

― dylannn, Sunday, June 2, 2013 8:01 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

its hard to avoid SOME level of nostalgia if you are looking at and using something that is 50 or 60 years old. or even 40 or 30 years old. but for me, the thrill is playing that old thing and hearing new sounds in the present. its very much a now thing for me. some people definitely try and evoke the past and that's their primary relationship with old things. or they want to be reminded of the past. their own or an earlier past. there are always going to be people who prize things based on age. and who will insist, sometimes ignorantly, that the old or the new is the best. we should just avoid those people altogether. my own bias toward analog and tape and records and older recording techniques, older microphones(!), older studios, and older mixing boards is based on the variety of religious experience i have witnessed over the years. i can play 50 records (or a hundred or a thousand) and they can all sound wildly different! how they were recorded, how they were pressed, when and where they were recorded, what the room was like, what gear was used, what mics, etc, etc, and on and on forever all play a part in why they sound so different. granted, i've got history on my side. over a hundred years of recordings. but out of every 100 CDs i play, i might hear one or two that are genuinely striking. sound-wise. and they are usually the ones that were worked on endlessly and hundreds of hours of time and effort went in to making them. whereas some of the greatest records i've ever heard, again sonically, were made in a couple of hours on the cheap. there is a digital uniformity that my chaotic brain rebels against. actual noises that you hear in real life are not free of distortion or separated from other ambient noises/sounds. you don't hear things in a vacuum. and i guess i've never really understood people who wanted to divorce musical sounds from the ambient hum that is all around us. one of the great joys of listening to old records for me is actually hearing the room that the music is being played in. the reverberations. the echo. 78s and 50's-era records are good for this. old jazz. it increases my feeling of intimacy with the music and makes me feel closer to the people playing it. and its a different feeling completely than the feeling i get listening to the clear reallyreallyclose fidelity of a digital recording. which can often be lysergic in its closeness. you can hear someone's uvula flapping in the breeze. i can see why people dig that though. tech-wise. geek-wise. that ultrahuman clearness. like HD or blu-ray. i appreciate it more when i'm listening to sound artists or electro-acoustic music. very trippy. can be a little jarring if its just some acoustic folk record and i'm sitting inside someone's guitar or throat. i appreciate a little distancing. and that's what i think people mean by warmness when they talk about records. voices have more glow on tape? i dunno. its certainly possible to make a pretty accurate recording of the human voice on tape. maybe its like the difference between old tube televisions and new flat screens. when everyone had tubes, you would walk down the street at night and little electric fireplaces beamed out of windows. the windows would actually glow. you could see what people were watching. you could hear the sound outside a window loud and clear. with flatscreens the flatness is supreme. you don't get the glow. you can walk by a hundred of them and never have your eye drawn to the picture. they are easy to ignore and hide. same with digital muzak and radio. very easy to tune out. the uniform levels don't engage the ear. nothing leaps out. having said all that, i absolutely LOVE the possibilities within the world of electronic/dance/rap and digital sound. and that, to me, is the greatest stuff to listen to on cd. that tooclose and ultra-clear vocal sound you can get with a computer is stunning when applied to rap. talk about hard to ignore and jarring and visceral. when i take off a record and put on a rap cd its like a bomb has gone off. and that's a good thing. and i've already talked a lot about my undying love for those Kompakt CDs that ILM made me buy years ago. they IMMEDIATELY draw you in. they are definitely a gold standard for me. no doubt anyone here could name a dozen other labels who have achieved similar results and created amazing sound over the last 20 years. warp, mego, etc. whoever. i've also mentioned that when i put a kompakt cd on in the store almost everyone without exception who walks in the store asks me what i'm playing. they quickly become addicted. because it sounds so undeniably good! and cool! and it IS sound that leaps out at you and is 3D in an amazing textural way. so the uses (and sci-fi potential) for digi sound are endless. and i'm gonna guess that in 20 years we won't know what hit us. binaural blu-ray friggin' death ray ridiculousness, i'm guessing. but whatever comes will always be - it can't help but be - DIFFERENT from magnetic tape and all manner of electrical recordings of the distant past. there's something for everyone. my own nostalgic defense is this: bad digital recordings are often just that, bad. and sometimes, to me, unlistenable. bad analog recordings, or cheap or amateurish recordings, often have SOME sort of charming or idiosyncratic quality that can make them either endearing in their badness (muffed use of fx or just dementedly poor placement of microphones) or even addictively listenable from a sound collector/lover perspective (nasty guitar distortion, epic echo abuse, etc.). and when analog recordings on vinyl are great - and arguably they reached their height all the way back in the 1950's - i think they rival any art or art form that the 20th century had to offer.

― scott seward, Saturday, 15 June 2013 21:36 (2 hours ago)

As far as imagery goes, that huge block of text looks pretty impressive.

the thing that kills me about the PUA craze is that on Road Rules: Semester At Sea there was a castmate named Pua and every time I see the acronym, I think of her and wonder if this shit is haunting her

― DJP, Thursday, June 20, 2013 8:57 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

hahaha

i don't have the heart to rewrite it in the style of people writing in tao lin style on the internet.

― dylannn, Friday, June 21, 2013 3:10 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

but that will be the only thing that happens tonight. last night or the night before, i only slept a few hours during the day and came into work and, when everyone was gone, made a bed of towels on the floor in the back room and fell asleep until quarter to four. the night before that, i set myself up in an empty room and sat at the desk and wrote on the hotel stationary and drank a can of kokanee. i took a shower in another room, an early checkout. three women came in around two in the morning and i gave them a free room for no reason and they checked into their room and one of them came back and put two twenty dollar bills on the counter (american currency). there's a girl that works in the laundry room until midnight and she's started stopping in to chat before she goes home and i don't want to discourage her because i enjoy the ten or fifteen minutes she's here--in order to drive conversation with her, i checked her out on facebook but she seems to be really interested in soccer, and i found an introduction to sudanese arabic on youtube and i practiced the phrases with her, and we talk about cities in the united states that would be good to live in and food--but i simultaneously resent it because it subtracts time by myself from the night. with nobody coming by, no slow darkening of the day, the natural rhythms of life are absent and every hour feels like an hour but it still goes by too fast.

But Scheer and other experts believe a significant part of the problem with shift work is physiological. On a fundamental level, being awake at odd or irregular hours fights with our biological rhythms. Shift work disrupts the circadian rhythm -- our internal body clock that is keyed to natural daylight and darkness.

Because circadian rhythm affects how the body functions, disrupting it can throw everything out of whack -- including our cardiovascular system, metabolism, digestion, immune system, and hormonal balance. That appears to have serious consequences.

The short-term health effects of shift work are clear. ... Aside from the obvious fatigue, effects include:

Gastrointestinal symptoms like upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, and heartburn
Increased risk of injuries and accidents
Insomnia
Decreased quality of life
General feeling of being unwell

― dylannn, Friday, June 21, 2013 3:38 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ha, was just scrolling down to c/p that part - mental image of a mutant Ocado van roaming the Oxford countryside running things over

― wakaflockinihilipilification (seandalai), Wednesday, 10 July 2013 00:45 (40 minutes ago)

Man was like a sponge, everything was grist for the mill. Was there a tune that he couldn't slyly smooch up to, grab by the short & curlies before it could resist, then stick it in a suit and fill it with so much coke until it was twitching and drooling like a sex-addicted cyborg sweating lizard blood?

― trippin' on brostep beats (NickB), Friday, August 2, 2013 8:34 AM

nickb is a high quality poster but that reads like something by stephen wells

does any of latour's newer theory stuff demonstrate that he's actually doing any research at all anymore? i get his theory is all about actual research methodologies. but is he actually employing those to study actual things, or just pontificating on them these days?

― "Dave Barlow" is the name Lou uses on sabermetrics baseball sites (s.clover), Wednesday, August 14, 2013 1:56 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's what you do once you're eminent, i thought, you shoot eminent rays out at things in order to unify them under one field of eminence

― j., Wednesday, August 14, 2013 4:37 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm strangely attracted to Natasha leggero

― chrisv2010, Sunday, August 8, 2010 1:52 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

And Katy perry is obviously not an actress but I'd break it off in her ass

― chrisv2010, Sunday, August 8, 2010 1:59 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I have been to SF only once (aside from the airport), back in April, for a work conference and some meetings w/my boss, who is based on the west coast. We went out to lunch, and on our way back to the office, there was a dead body on the sidewalk covered by a sheet, blood pooling from underneath it, surrounded by fire/rescue workers and emergency vehicles on the street. People were standing around taking video with their phones and Instagramming it. It was really weird.

― Here's the storify, of a lovely ladify (Phil D.), Friday, August 16, 2013 7:22 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The thread reminds me of when 22-year-old me moved 500 miles away to follow my 18-year-old girlfriend to her freshman year of college. Yeah, plenty of people warned me against it: "How's life? You need to let that go, man. She's about to go through a different life phase. It will go horribly wrong." And yeah, she was in a different phase. It went horribly, horribly wrong. Like, worst, WEIRDEST relationship bullshit to happen to me ever. But I don't think they were necessarily right. It happened to go all wrong. But I think there's room out there in this wide world for early-20s dudes to follow their incoming-freshman girlfriends to school and make it work and I will ALWAYS recommend that course of action, if given choice. ALWAYS. You guys are gonna be TOGETHER. FOREVER. Don't listen to them. They won't understand your love. You'll support her with your job at Blockbuster. Plenty of people do that. Plenty of people are young and poor and in love and get married and start a family. Poor people! They aren't any less loving! You can always shoot for Regional Manager or something, right? And once you've got that all sorted out, you'll be able to settle down and pursue your life's dreams of producing downtempo electronica. There's a mid-Atlantic Ninja Tune waiting to happen, and it all starts with this decision.

― how's life, Wednesday, August 21, 2013 8:36 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Almost makes me want to pack up and do something somewhere but I'm 42 as is my girlfriend and we're happy to let someone else release music for us, so.

Also, I mean, even though the relationship WILL crash and burn you HAVE to do that shit, both to live out the wholeheartedness that's harder to feel later in life, and to learn the lesson deep down of how dumb that stuff can be. Went through something similar, it was miserable and totally avoidable but if i hadn't done it I'd've made worse mistakes later.

sorry, i'm sure people have said that on the actual thread that comes from!

what thread

man how's life is really in full bloom these days

what thread

― socki (s1ocki), Thursday, August 22, 2013 4:06 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

'that girls only thread is great'

when I see a dude in a tasteful plaid shirt, some raw dark denim, & red wing boots, i think to myself "that looks like a man of courage."

― your authentic guitar playing self (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, September 3, 2013 6:29 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Fucking weird my elementary school playground had the same "treehouse" as pplains & the same pee problem

If you're ever being buried alive, throw yourself into your panic with full gusto (you probably won't get much choice in this, but it's actually best not to keep a clear head). There are few moments in life when one gets to really unleash an all-consuming, sanity-rending panic. Such a level of primal terror is probably so overwhelming what it's debatable to what extent it can even be called a 'conscious' event. You're unlikely to experience thoughts anywhere near as lucid as 'Oh God, I'm being buried alive'. In the face of such an unpleasant end, panic induced insanity may shield from the full consciousness of your death.
You probably shouldn't take off your shirt and try to tie it around your face and mouth, that's kind of ridiculous.

― I have gathered no gaudy flowers of speech in other men's gardens (dowd), Sunday, September 8, 2013 5:30 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Voted Stingray. Saw one last week when out on the beach, and it was a magical moment. I used to dream about having a pet stingray when i was a kid. I would have it in a huge swimming pool and race it from one end to the other.

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, August 27, 2013 1:51 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

should also go to cutecelsior!

I do wonder sometimes if my smoking annoys ppl around me...how many houses away can they smell it, just a little? Does it go in their windows? What about the ppl upstairs if I smoke on my fire escape? Do I have any ground to stand on if they object? It seems like with smoking the default "right" position is 0% tolerance of any inconvenience to others. What about the noise we all tolerate? Or the dogs, or the unsightly yards and garbage, or just every single other thing about living near a lot of people? Harrumph.

NB No one has ever said one single thing to me about it in my 2+ years here, I just worry.

― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Friday, September 13, 2013 9:47 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

But this is still just lousy: this the cloddish, rotten, stupid Eagles; the meathead Eagles, the pestilent Eagles. I can picture George W. Bush, driving around Midland in '75, knocking back a few cans of Coors, blasting this awful piece of shit while he tailgates someone. God, even the guitars sound hateful.

― col, Monday, September 16, 2013 8:10 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I have this weird but salient memory of hanging out with him when I was like 11, and he insisted on playing me this Howard Stern video when my aunt went out, and it involved Howard Stern inviting women up on stage to have something called "Butt Bongo" played on them, and this one woman kept giggling and saying "But I'm a mother! I'm a mother!"

― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Friday, September 20, 2013 12:00 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is that from the "saying goodbye to your pet" thread?

facebook

miley should change her name to Jah Cyrus and record a song with house of pain and naughty by nature called "gettin' my irish up" and have mc lyte and karen finley guest star. i would buy that.

― scott seward, Thursday, October 3, 2013 12:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

if i learned anything during that today show interview its: she's never been happier and she's just being herself and if you are being yourself you don't have to worry about anything. also, be nice to people when you are not onstage and no matter what anyone writes about you its okay because you know that you are a good person who treats people well. also, matt lauer is a big dick.

― scott seward, Wednesday, October 9, 2013 1:09 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^ fun and worth reading, but I can't find any imagery in those I'd call striking

read the last line as 'also, matt lauer has a big dick' at first, was it was pretty striking.

Same.

struck by another's jet

― deej snyder (Curt1s Stephens), Sunday, 25 April 2010 05:27 (3 years ago)

Very vivid dream last night that Whiney built a purple flying saucer and took off in California as US ilxors tracked him west to east, but it was revealed after takeoff that it was a suicide mission. Soon it was on the news and the Air Force was tracking him and all of ilx was posting with him, pleading for him to land it safely somewhere. Then he crashed it and died in my backyard (of the house in Alabama that I grew up in, not where I live now). It took about ten people to unscrew the lid off the saucer and retrieve his limp, naked body.

I know it all sounds really weird, and sort of based on the "balloon boy" thing, but it was very sad. Everybody was crying.

I did NOT do any drugs before bed.

― Johnny Fever, Saturday, October 19, 2013 10:31 AM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

can u imagine meeting Oprah

― surm, Friday, October 4, 2013 1:11 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

<3

also Johnny Fever's dream was harrowing.

After I read Johnny Fever's account of his dream I was going to ask if he had felt the need to check that Whiney was actually still alive after he woke up, but then I looked and Whiney hadn't posted to ilx or his twitter for a couple of days so I was scared to ask in case something actually had happened to him (God forbid). I can see he has posted to his twitter since, so I will ask now if Johnny Fever is reading.

also, semi-related, i just woke up from a dream where a hot new novel was getting lots of critical buzz but the novel was just a chocolate cake that readers were instructed to eat. it was sold in bookstores, however, which distinguished it from cakes sold in bakeries. there was a lot of discussion about whether this was "really" a novel just because the author said it was and in the course of the dream i at first passionately defended it but then was convinced to change my mind and denounced it.

― (emphasis Treeship's) (Treeship), Wednesday, October 23, 2013 9:16 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

hahahahaha

He woke up to find his bookshelf empty and cake crumbs on all over his pillow

treesh will do well to post as well as that again

we all will

http://s3.amazonaws.com/quietus_production/images/articles/1994/sir_patrick_moore_1246283574_crop_550x367.jpg

Where the hell does someone even buy trousers like that?

― 'scuse me, while I Rim the Sky... (snoball), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:42 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If he pulled them up any higher, he'd have to cut armholes in the sides.

― btw didn't i braek ur heart (NickB), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:50 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Just remove the lining from the pockets and put his arms through the holes.

― 'scuse me, while I Rim the Sky... (snoball), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:52 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah, that would also have the secondary benefit of stopping his car keys from chaffing his nipples.

― btw didn't i braek ur heart (NickB), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:55 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Legendary Hearts IS a better song record but it's so austere about its flourishes it's downright Presbyterian; when a solo shows up on "Make Up My Mind" or "Home of the Brave" it's like a favorite aunt serving you wine.

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 7, 2013 8:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The thing is, a lot of the appeal of vinyl is how cool it is. Not hipster cool, really, but it feels cool to put a record on cos they sound good and look good, and for sure there's a kind of joy in participating in a ritual of aural reproduction that goes way back, and a lot of record players - vintage and modern ones alike - look great in the home and blah blah blah.

When I go to visit my mum, a pristine woman whose house looks like a mid-range hotel, I'm always shocked to visit her bathroom. She has these air fresheners set up that periodically spray their stuff, often right at me as I'm doing a piss or worse. I don't know whether they're on a timer or there is some kind of motion detection going on, but it is definitely uncool. I can't really bring it up, but I am tempted to tell her that these attempts to obliterate all that is unpleasant in life make me feel weird. I gotta take a shit, mum, and I don't like to be made to feel unwelcome while I do. Furthermore, I understand that you have to take a shit from time to time, and if you're trying to use technology to hide this fact from everyone, it's failing - I can think of little else when I'm in there. I imagine you shitting and the panic you must feel at being revealed as a person who commits these violations of familial order. What's more, I'm inclined to introduce the smelliest, most virulent and unflushable shit into your bathroom and see how your systems can deal with that. It's really a provocation.

That's how I would think of anyone who had one of these record players in their house.

― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, November 17, 2013 5:59 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark

i don't particularly mind the fleet foxes record tbh but they do sort of remind me of the guy that got expelled from my school for allegedly bunking off PE to go and hump a log in the woods behind the sports hall

― but my heart is full of woah (NickB), Monday, November 18, 2013 10:12 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Not exactly 'knockout', but when I was 17/18 I was walking down the street and some ten year old kid came up to me and said "Do you need something?" and I was like "what?" and he repeated "Do you need something?" with gritted teeth emphasis on "need" and I was "what the hell are you talking about?". Then he threw a baby's dummy in my face and ran away.

― fashionably early Christmas themed display name (snoball), Thursday, November 21, 2013 9:17 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My memories of visiting WDW exactly seven years ago (as a bratty 16 year old):

MGM Studios being the best thing ever (apart from the weird Drew Carey ride/experience). Massive shouts to the Aerosmith Rock'n'Rollercoaster ("GET READY TO MERGE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER MERGED BEFORE"). The Indiana Jones stunt show being better than pretty much any film (even if the mime who warms the crowed up did racist mimes at one point). Watching some form of Thanksgiving/Christmassy firework show.

Getting weirdly teary at the Magic Kingdom show when everyone has a go at Donald Duck for some reason but we all learn that DREAMS COME TRUE! Obviously seeing the castle for the first time is a real woahhhh moment. Going on the old time steamboat thing and, again, finding it weirdly emotional. Queuing for hours for the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride behind a girl who looked just like Maeby Funke in a Dr Pepper T-shirt and not being able to stop myself from looking at her throughout.

Typhon Lagoon being as much fun as anyone can have involving water.

The repeated shouts of OPA OPA OYSTER!!! at Seaworld/getting to ride the Kraken about 6 times in a row at the start of the day because there was zero queue. My mum CRYING at the Shamu show/us beinbg sat next to a very patriotic American who alternated between heartfult salutes and whoops and spitting on the floor.

Animal Kingdom being really shit because we went on the log flume kind of thing and I was the only person in our boat to get absolutely drenched and it really did ruin my day. Didn't even enjoy going on the safari thing and seeing the gorillas.

REFUSING TO SWIM WITH DOLPHINS AT DISCOVERY COVE. I lost my glasses that day too.

Other memories of my only American trip to date:

Spending Thanksgiving itself at this park with a big old house in it nearish to Kissimee that also had a river full of manatees and gar and being wowed by seeing manatees just hanging out. We had a lasagane for dinner purchased from a Walmart.

Going on a boat trip on the everglades and my mum flirting with the captain. We didn't see any alligators sadly.

Blasting Power 95.3 (ORLANDO'S NEW NUMBER ONE FOR HIP HAAAWP) and hearing My Love by JT/I wanna Love You by Akon/Showstopper by Dainty Kane on repeat all day every day and loving them. Also endless adverts for Fazolis.

Driving back from Kennedy Space Center and seeing dolphins jumping about in the water. Also liked Lee, the guy who drove the shuttle bus around the center, top #bants ("please take all of your valuables when you leave. That includes your children, folks." "shake an alligators hand with me. five dollars.")

Eating absolutely joyless dinners in Sizzler and Golden Corral.

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Monday, November 25, 2013 7:18 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also, being corny, I picture Soma as a Cloud Giant, thousand-yard towering D&D humanoid made of mist and storms. Lighting twitches through his slowly roiling body, spills ceaseless from his eyes. His weightless fist, the size of a village, comes down a hurricane, soft as it is terrible, a mile-wide swath of ruin in his wake. I like the feeling and image. It's not something I get from much other music.

― CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Wednesday, December 11, 2013 11:20 AM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Night on Bald Soma

come on, that's just a saruman speech right?

that dwight yorke post is amazing

i keep thinking about people telling you how the beach boys never actually liked surfing, apart from dennis, & wondering what it would be like if middle aged kells had actually lost interest in sex, infrequently pursued women, hadn't talked to anyone for a couple of weeks prior to the cover shoot for this record, just asked dutiful questions about the girl's career & was kinda glibly professional, only concentrated on pussy as a distillation of his muse

― love mike love (ko komo) (schlump), Wednesday, December 11, 2013 5:38 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

5. Mrs Mooney, 11th grade English. Now, if your uncle's friend had just offered YOU a book deal, you got A-pluses in all your elective Humanities subjects (journalism, World Literature, Theatre Arts, Cinema, blah blah) and you were skating around the edge of the Minneapolis artypunk scene, would you look kindly on being given C's by some patronising prannet who all the other teachers had informed you was on tranquilisers? You have to be really shit as an educator for the STAFF to take against you in conversation with a student. I felt like Someone Was Jealous and was pretty focussed on getting A's as I was plotting my escape (noble cause) rather than being a big swot. The one- two punch of telling her she was doomed to teach a syllabus until her eventual early retirement on mental health grounds when my book APPEARED on that syllabus and going 'Oh! My grandmother told me about what happened at the Commodore Hotel back then!' when I spotted the family namecheck in the Great Gatsby (party scene, natch) scored major smartarse points with fellow students and the woman eventually backed down. Aced the final. Eat my dust, baby.

― suzy, Sunday, November 4, 2001 1:00 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wowww

Anecdote kind of horrible to the poor woman who committed the cardinal sins of being a crap teacher AND having emotional problems (hmm wonder if the 2 are related, well let's give her a kicking for it anyway eh) but damn you can't fault suzy as a raconteuse, can you?

is that french for 'knows people'

Now, if your uncle's friend had just offered YOU a book deal

Nepotism beats anxiety in the top trumps of life. Take that, loser!

― suzy, Sunday, November 4, 2001

Did suzy ever become a famous author?

well, she met a lot of famous authors - does that count?

suzy is Lena Dunham?

Suzy Sontag maybe

And what exactly do you arseholes seek to do here, except proving yourselves as "ILX posters with striking inanity", huh?

i'm just here to read about lena dunham

for the record I put that post here because it might be my favourite thing I've ever read on ilx, not to sneer at anyone

(I kind of share some of wins' reservations about it being mean to Mrs Mooney, but that paragraph is just undeniable)

xxp soref read an old post that he thought was strikingly written, I agreed and added that suzy is a great poster for that but that I thought this particular story as told was shitty for the reasons stated (and I'm right about that fwiw), some ppl made jokes, treeship asked a question. I'm not beefing, I don't know about anyone else.

xp See! Soref is one of the nice posters, I think it would have helped to know that. Not every c&p is snark

considering change my dn to 'one of the nice posters', so people won't mistake my c&p's for snark

And what exactly do you arseholes seek to do here, except proving yourselves as "ILX posters with striking inanity", huh?

― you're still in love with me and you don't know why (Branwell Bell), Friday, January 17, 2014 1:10 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh, just go away

suze rules, yall need bigger cunts

soref you & nakh could do a "good c&p bad c&p" routine

I didn't realize suzy was an active poster i thought it was a one-off from a long time ago and I thought it was mean spirited so i was being snarky

I'd be making a rod for my own back the next time I absent-mindedly post something cuntish, though

suze rules

suzy is a great poster

I feel like there's a way we can both be right matt

I liked the suzy post! I thought this thread was largely for well-written posts, which it was.

"Haven’t sold a wrap in so long."

"No one remembers how to make one.”

every once in a while, i think of the albino hat and i start cracking up. i guess it could also go on the posts that haunt my thoughts thread.

I found myself submerged into the "dark web," where I could fully indulge in my dual pleasures of human trafficking and buying exotic leather goods. i bought gloves made from the skin taken from the back of a young cambodian girl. they were gorgeous. i was hooked. i bought more. a beautiful leather wallet with prison tattoos that i keep on a chain, taken from the thigh of a russian hustler. i bought a hat made out of an albino. it felt good.

― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:53 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

posterity will little note nor long remember what we tweet here. even the NSA won't gaf.

ilx as an archive of emphemeral thoughts resembles that paul bunyan story where the winter got so cold that words froze as they were spoken and were swept into the corner of the room, where, when the spring thaw came and the words melted, they just made a cacophonous babble.

― Aimless, Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I have had two telemarketers call up asking for my wife, and both asked if I was her butler. I guess it must be the accent, but still- how many people in Berkeley have butlers?

― adaml (adaml), Thursday, October 23, 2003 2:47 PM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the suzy was posted bcuz it had striking imagery it just happened to also be a pvmic

who is suzy irl

was "adaml" adamrl?, aka nordicskilla, & if so, is it too ilx.xls to note this poster's ethnic origin & so eligibility for almost cartoon butlerishness?

posterity will little note nor long remember what we tweet here. even the NSA won't gaf.

ilx as an archive of emphemeral thoughts resembles that paul bunyan story where the winter got so cold that words froze as they were spoken and were swept into the corner of the room, where, when the spring thaw came and the words melted, they just made a cacophonous babble.

― Aimless, Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― lollercoaster of rove (s.clover), Saturday, January 25, 2014 9:12 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*makes jerk-off motion*

about as striking as cold oatmeal

this is not a place for judgment.

I came across your sad little site today fuck off punks If I wish to slap tits on my arse it is my business-

― Pete Burns, Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:42 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what will i ever do if i get banned from this hive of assholes

― just (Matt P), Sunday, January 26, 2014 7:22 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

only because it made me think of the trypophobia thread.

i can't even describe the full horror of what i wore as a teenager but the fedora/trilby was the least of it

― regret it? nope, said it? yep (Noodle Vague), Saturday, February 1, 2014 11:07 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

there was purple, there was yellow, there were beads, there were fingerless gloves, there was flowing curly locks, there was various earrings

look back at it now like it was somebody else doing it

― regret it? nope, said it? yep (Noodle Vague), Saturday, February 1, 2014 11:09 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha

Dave Lee Roth, Prince and prog rock have a lot to answer for

Cheney: Bumhearted pussy doesn't know what tough is.
W.: Dullard, arrogant puppet. Acts tough, but he's a pussy.
Ashcroft: Religious fanatic, couldn't get any pussy. What a pus.
Helms: Racist redneck. Product of the worst part of the pussy South.
Lott: Redneck. Helmet-hair dumbass good ol'boy. Cheerleader pussy.
Frist: Pussy killer. Can't get any more pussy than killing pets.
Strom: If there is a Hell, your pussy ass is definitely roasting.
DeLay: Exterminator of what? Pussy fireants and roaches. Texas trash pussy.
Dickless Armey: Bought and paid for son of a bitch. Texas trash pussy.
Bob Barr: Drove girlfriend to abortion. Hypocritical pussy.
Fuck you you fuckin' fucks!

― Pussy Getter, Friday, August 20, 2004 6:53 AM (9 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Republican Pussy List:
Cheney: Bumhearted pussy doesn't know what tough is.
W.: Dullard, arrogant puppet. Acts tough, but he's a pussy.
Ashcroft: Religious fanatic, couldn't get any pussy. What a pus.
Helms: Racist redneck. Product of the worst part of the pussy South.
Lott: Redneck. Helmet-hair dumbass good ol'boy. Cheerleader pussy.
Frist: Pussy killer. Can't get any more pussy than killing pets.
Strom: If there is a Hell, your pussy ass is definitely roasting.
DeLay: Exterminator of what? Pussy fireants and roaches. Texas trash pussy.
Dickless Armey: Bought and paid for son of a bitch. Texas trash pussy.
Bob Barr: Drove girlfriend to abortion. Hypocritical pussy.

Fuck you you fuckin' fucks!

― Pussy Getter, The Toughest Guy There Is, Friday, August 20, 2004 6:53 AM (9 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^ post's images should be viewed in one of these:

http://www.turtlepointpress.com/mgzne/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/1JC-Stereopticon.jpg

I have a rockabilly haircut

― waterbabies (waterface), Friday, February 7, 2014 11:17 AM (37 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my whole worldview just got turned upside down by that

eh, waterface off a duck's arse

http://i.imgur.com/ppsDAk1.jpg

waterface is c. ott

also holy shit ugggghhhh I think the dudes in this episode are literally THE FUCKING WORST type of gay men, like I cringed any time any one of them opened their mouths and one of them actually said the word "naughty" at one point and I wanted to cut my dick off and go live in a temple

― "Jiggle It" - 2 in a Zoo (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 9:57 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pickled gherkin = a 'cold wally' in the uk

― Ward Fowler, Friday, August 2, 2013 10:45 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I grabbed it in a paper towel and smooshed it all up and put the paper towel in a box and threw it out back in the recycling can. Then I went back out there, grabbed the box out of the can, took it out to a pile of cinderblocks out back. When I unfolded the towel, it was still in there twitching then it got out and tried to crawl around, so i took a stick and destroyed it until it was just a smear and there was still an antennae twitching. Ugh. Augh. Alternating waves of nausea and panic. This is not good.

― how's life, Saturday, 15 March 2014 13:22 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I worked in a kitchen with an ageing scots diabetic part time chef (summers chef, winters santa claus) who told me jokes and stories and sang showband and threw his teeth out in front of the waitresses (each heartbreakingly more beautiful than the last in the way waitresses of 16 are when you are 13 and have never spoken unprompted to an unrelated girl) and swore at the radio more often than not, and once when the proclaimers came on he cocked his head and malevolently eyed that device and called over to where i was mopping or sweeping or chopping or scrubbing or whatever and that call went "Da-ra! Ye ken those boys? Ah ken those boys. Pair a wee cunts"

Voted 500 miles in the absence of letter frae america.

― treeship's assailing (darraghmac), Sunday, March 23, 2014 8:28 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Particularly the stuff about the waitresses, but all of it really.

Even though I prefer the Belinda song, I'm gonna go with "Take Me Home Tonight" -- for the video, which featured several minutes of close-ups on Eddie Money's drug-abused sourpuss face and medium shots of his doughy body, while keeping Ronnie Spector in the shadows until the very end, so viewers could only see outlines of her rail-thin '80s bod and not her screwy-looking face. It's a classic dud.
― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, October 25, 2002 10:24 PM (11 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My favorite Danzig rumor :

Some punk/hardcore kid is working at a Kids 'R Us in L.A. He's folding clothes, trying to look busy when a frightened, panic-stricken female coworker runs up to him and says "You've gotta come quick! Some biker guy is going crazy in the little boys section!" The kid walks over to the little boys section cautiously, not knowing what to expect, where he sees a very short muscle-bound man with long black hair putting on little boys undershirts in the mirror and then flexing violently, ripping the shirts apart. On the floor, lays a heap of discarded, ripped shirts. He is utterly horrified by what he is witnessing and stands there speechless until he suddenly realizes the man performing this strange shirt-ripping ritual is none other than Glenn Danzig.

― Ellis, Sunday, September 4, 2005 5:45 AM (8 years ago)

there is about 3 square metres of dead or inutile electronics on the floor in a corner of one of my rooms including a gordian knot of computer cables, power cables and early 2000s phone chargers, half a dozen dead or possibly dead laptop dvdrws, a late 90s laser printer, corrupted hard drives, variform towers and citadels comprising of books and jewel cases of ancient cdrs and dvdrs in states of discolouration and digital maculation that form a maginot line against roomba incursion, then in the living room three broken lamps and three laptop lcd screens, ive been intending to trash or ebay this tat for ages ever since my cleaner moved away and this and endless paper gradually accumulated and formed a de facto alternative to the cherished culture-objects that ordinarily flesh out the voids of lived spaces

― nakhchivan, Thursday, March 27, 2014 11:08 PM (4 days ago)

beautiful!

positively pynchonesqe

nakhers continually refuses to commute his astonishing prose into anything extended or compendiary; I do wonder whether some devoted archivist might not one day knit a selection of his posts into a discursive novella

here's hoping

what would the past two years of gr80 posts look like knitted together, i wonder

http://img1.imagesbn.com/p/9781607379058_p0_v1_s260x420.JPG

lol nakh you're alright

i'm sure he's all "phew"

nakh's turn of phrase often makes me wonder wtf I did with my education

white running shoes
orange skin
severed wings
tits are like an afterthought now
― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Monday, January 9, 2006 4:09 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I just had four different ones installed in a two houses we're renovating. Here's what you need to know: (note - I'm in the US, I don't know how what's available elsewhere)

Pushbutton on top means it uses a pressure-assisted flush rather than just the usual gravity. You open the tank lid and see a big black plastic thing instead of water. These theoretically flush better, but make lots of noise and are more expensive. IME, not worth the cost or the noise.
There are several heights available, measured from the top of the bowl (not including seat) to the floor. 14-1/2" height is "standard", i.e. low. Over half sold are now "comfort height" or some other name depending on brand, 16-1/4" to 17"h. Finally there are some extra-tall commodes about 18"h mainly for handicapped/wheelchair accessible use, sometimes called ADA height (Americans with Disabilities Act). For my 5'8" frame, 16-1/2" comfort height is about perfect. Shorter adults or bathrooms frequently used by kids may be better off with the low height. Elongated bowls are required by building code in some areas, especially in condos.
One-piece toilets lack the gap between the tank and bowl, which looks neater, eliminates a seam that gets soiled and hard to clean, and makes the toilet easier to install since you don't have to put two pieces together. But they cost more, since they must be shipped in a large box instead of two small ones for the tank and bowl.
Round bowls are the small ones. Elongated bowls are the same width but about 2" longer. That makes it more comfortable to sit on for everyone, but really makes things easier and more sanitary for men (please don't make me explain why; use your imagination). Elongated bowls usually take up a bit more room and may be a tight fit in small rooms; however, there are some "compact elongated" toilets that manage to fit the larger elongated bowl in the same space as a typical round-bowl toilet by using an extra-thin tank.
Toilets in the US (and many other countries) are no longer allowed to use much water. 1.6 gallons (6 litres) per flush is the max, and many use only 1.28gpf. Some use even less, required in some places in California. This is down from 3.5gpf allowed in the '80s, and often 5gpf before there were any water-conservation standards. In general, 1.6gpf units flush a bit better, though there are exceptions. Also, 1.28gpf toilets have a rather small area normally covered with water, which can sometimes be problematic.
Finally, verify the distance from the mounting bolts (usually under caps near the floor) to the back wall. 12" or thereabouts is most common, called a "12 inch rough-in". But you may need a 10" or 14" rough-in to fit your house.
Brands: Of those I've used, my favorite is this particularGerber Viper toilet, which gets nearly everything right - flushes well (and has reasonable water coverage) despite using only 1.28 gallons, 16-3/8" comfort height bowl, elongated bowl but fits in a round-bowl space, reasonably priced, not noisy. There's a link to a spec sheet with dimensions. If you don't need the compact-elongated space saver, Gerber has some 1.6 gallon Viper models of various specifications that are a bit cheaper, and an even better-flushing 'Avalanche' series also in 1.6gpf which I found works very well but is a bit more expensive, and the flush lever is inconveniently placed on the side. I'll also recommend the Toto Drake 1.6gpf which plumbers swear by, and the similarly-named but different (and costlier) Toto Drake-II 1.28gpf. I haven't installed one myself, but I've heard lots of good things about the American Standard Cadet 3 which is also available in a compact-elongated model and is low priced.
The seat is often not included. Spend the small premium for a "soft-close" seat whose seat and lid won't slam down. For parents of preschoolers, there are triple seats available with built-in child potty seats that fold up for grown-ups.

There you go, more than you ever wanted to know about toilets.

― Lee626, Monday, May 12, 2014 10:54 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark

i'm not sure we should have access to this highly individual toilet meter data

Surprisingly, that is about exactly what I have always wanted to know about toilets.

lol @ "gpf"

I sadly knew all about that after toilet shopping recently... but I didn't even buy a new toilet :/

Time down the drain

yeah, i know. i once saw an aged japanese robot opening for kraftwerk, and you could barely hear it through the conversations of the audience. i went up to it after the show to get his autograph on an old floppy disc but he had been unplugged.

― espring (amateurist), Tuesday, 13 May 2014 23:53 (Yesterday)

Always hatefucking outside my window

― james lipton and his francs (darraghmac), Wednesday, May 14, 2014 10:46 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

The thing is with Calum that he draws a picture. The most longetivenous element to him is the fact that you can almost feel the bony, matt coloured back arching in the morning as he reaches for his towel and switches the kettle on for Cup-a-soup. You can imagine quite perfectly the hands running through the hair, the thoughts gathering, the flesh aching for early morning ITV with it's blonde and it's lights and it's sensational sacharine.
Three sugars in tea. Main light on always. HIS posters are worth a lot of money and AREN'T going in the lounge, Daniel. Think you, of the clickety clack of the Compaq XL-32 keyboard with its strict, percussive tones as he thinks for that salacious moment whether to be Nigel or Colin today.

This cyclical world is perfecting, and never growing old. Thoughts cascade and combine as he spreads to other forums, other worlds. Soon at least half the Eastern Seaboard is cursing his putrid name as he, and he alone is responsible for powercuts as the flaming rises. No-one is safe, at least no-one who is Internet Capable.

So basically, he's going to die some day, some place, from something. It might be horrible, it might be peaceful, it could be the very best of natures' gold. But it will always be there. Think of this, my children, as you descend into these dark, dark days.

― Bernard the Butler (Lynskey), Monday, 8 November 2004 23:38 (9 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what does longetivenous mean though?

Seriously, that thing is a boat of ass.

― B.L.A.M., Thursday, December 4, 2008 8:11 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

longevitenous means exactly what it sounds like

1 result (0.52 seconds)
Did you mean: longevous

great writers are their own authority

1. facility with lengthy internet event invitations

They call them the 'Telephone Generation'. For the Telephone Generation, the same amount of time has elapsed since the founding of the Lawn Tennis Association in 1888 as the declaration of war on Spain by England in 1762. To the Telephone Generation, arable enclosure is just a way of life. They do not know what it means to send a telegram or cast their own spearheads from bronze alloys. Feeling old yet?

― 1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Tuesday, May 6, 2014 5:36 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that surely belongs in 'trenchant social commentary'

My enjoyment of the 1999 eclipse was greatly enhanced by seeing Jasper Carrot in eclipse glasses on Hampstead Heath.
― Jonnie, Tuesday, October 30, 2001 1:00 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

before CDs the world was littered with broken cassette cases and long tangled streams of discarded tape lying in knotted heaps in the gutters and along the roadsides, trapped and flapping against wire fences, tumbling and twisting down windy streets, miles and miles of stretched, snapped cassette tapes.

― estela, Wednesday, June 4, 2014 1:56 AM

That's a really, really good one.

last time I said goodbye to someone at a party I stayed and kept them talking as their life passed and the years fell on them like crinkles on carpet they died halfway through the fifty fourth thousandth decade of the rosary I had proposed out of sheer awkwardness over the departure arrangements and twas a great way to go, at peace and surrounded by the cobwebbed remainders of the other guests (I had been standing in the doorway for night sixty years by then but obviously they couldn't leave by window nor back door without taking proper leave of the host themselves. I believe this trait of elongated exit is perhaps a carryover from our dear colonial guests, who invited themselves over 800 years ago and are upstairs footering about even yet

― dn/ac (darraghmac), Monday, June 16, 2014 7:50 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

Poin of interest: If you're ever going through Argyle Street or waiting for a train on the platform. Have a look at the far wall on the east-bound side - you will notice a moldy brown cylindrical object stuck to the cladding. Well, it's the bottom bun of a McDonalds hamburger that I threw after the works christmas night out nearly 2 years ago.
― JohnFoxxsJuno, Thursday, October 27, 2005 7:59 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh god please let that still be there

seriously. someone needs to check in on that, pronto.

and post a photo

can't have been much of a work party if he's home already after only two years tbph

godless country

dmac jocking joyce

he loves Three's Company

I remember because imo Box of Rain is one of those songs specifically designed to make people cry.. That's something else I think about with this songs -- they have been on the radio my whole life. How many people's monumental life moments occurred while they were listening to CR radio? Probably a lot! Imagine how much crying these songs have inspired and you will drown in tears. That's poignant. I'll take it.

― La Lechera, Wednesday, June 25, 2014 2:09 PM

That's exactly how I always felt about Landslide. I cry when I hear it and also think about the fact that people from all walks of life cry at that song.

Generally, high street binge drinking culture seems to have this thick benign vibe going on at the centre of each little group - thick like honey or concrete. In the calm at the eye of the storm, they could do each other no ill, best mates forever, and if you look closely a reminder that people don't have to be especially intelligent or friendly to be, again, benign, at peace. Big rough violent people, giving each other piggy backs, or doing that tiger-paw petting thing, towselling each other's hair and saying 'Ah, you fucker, haha'.

On the other hand, when the edge of one group collides with another ...

― cardamon, Monday, July 7, 2014 11:33 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Damn, she is still hotter than her sister. That emo/punk look is way hot!

http://i.imgur.com/GHNN3w8.jpg

― Tickly Me Elmer, Saturday, October 22, 2005 5:02 AM (8 years ago)

No one is disturbed by the fact that in that picture Ashlee is five fingers deep in the funhouse? She's like, wrist-deep in a Georgia O'Keeffe.

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Saturday, October 22, 2005 9:43 PM (8 years ago)

the kids just call it 'the zone'

then I guess she's a real Stalker!

nickb is always good for some striking imagery but i read this whole post with relish

my guilty pleasure: being of a certain age in the early-80s, i do still harbour a conflicted fondness for the likes of earlier u2 and big country, music that if i had encountered at any other stage of my life i would have found ludicrously bombastic verging on the megalomaniac in the first instance and cringingly over-earnest and sentimental in the latter. i think they're both hugely embarrassing. terminally over-reaching bluster that mistakes passion for truth, all flag-waving, tartan-clad singalong nonsense for dewey-eyed mullet-men in football shirts. would never ever ever play them in the company of others, would never wear their t-shirts, and have exorcized them from my last.fm stats on more than one occasion (gosh, did i really leave spotify scrobbling turned on?). god, if they were playing at the end of my garden, i would probably only peep at them through a gap in the curtains, all the while shaking my head at all the pissed-up wallies no doubt hopelessly bellowing along in unison to every beseeching woah! and hey!. and yet i cannot help but be thrilled some of their songs, they still bear this aura of the heroic for me, they can still speak through the ages to the juvenile guileless me who's buried somewhere in the bottom of an old shoebox at the back of my dark, dusty heart. i have tried to rationalise this unseemly attachment; i can say to myself that the guitar players are the under-appreciated tom verlaines or john martyns or richard thompsons of their day, that their use of atmosphere and effect was the precursor to so much post-rock or black metal or whatever. none of that gets to the root of the simple-minded joy that i can't quite believe i still find in either of these bands though. it disappoints me with myself. someone kill me with a shovel.

― john wahey (NickB), Wednesday, August 6, 2014 4:55 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

wow what a post!

haha, i was going to repost that one.

excellent post - captures something i've tried and failed to articulate before.

that is awesome

fedora shaming

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/fedora-shaming

If I were Kate Bush, I would decree no cameras, no standing, no singing along and clapping only at the end. Then I would kick everyone out and play to an empty hall, but project the performance on the surface of a flowing river.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, August 27, 2014 10:26 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

<3

lol at that car driving by, just imagining someone driving to work and seeing ice bucket challenges left and right, in the middle of the road, ice falling from the heavens, a man is dead on the ground and a lamb is crawling out of his stomach, hellfire

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, August 29, 2014 12:31 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Some quality work these last few

that's when you sit in a chalet taking pills listening to the vague echo of a de la soul concert

― ♛ LIL UNIT ♛ (thomp), Friday, August 29, 2014 11:53 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't know why but Hagar's beard always makes me think of cunnilingus

― you couldn't even wear a fedora if your lifes depended on it (stevie), Wednesday, September 3, 2014 5:31 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sure but call me old fashioned, i just don't think phones should bend.

you can quote this post in 10 years when we all have bendy phones.

― call all destroyer, Wednesday, September 24, 2014 8:07 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you're old fashioned

― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, September 24, 2014 8:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Flexible displays are already possible they just gotta
Make flexible everything
Else

― 龜, Wednesday, September 24, 2014 8:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Some flexible sentence structure there.

Either that or 龜 is secretly Yoda.

omg it all makes sense now

http://blog.codinghorror.com/new-programming-jargon/

Learn You Some Erlang For Great Good!

really, y'all going for that and not like cummings?

NickB has this down to a fine art these days, but...

did a long run in the sussex weald on saturday, the exact area where hoogy has built his ridiculous marble palace. lots of sprawling properties owned by weekend country gents with their bentleys and beemers; expensive pubs that you'll probably never hear the football scores in; private fishing lakes with only the odd lone angler dressed in his drab jumper and greasy jacket, hunched over his maggoty bait box, just getting away from it all on his collapsible camping chair; desperate farmhouses with shit-stained concrete courtyards, depressed-looking cows, derelict tin barns full of rusting and useless tractors of ancient vintage, a dog that won't stop barking and no-one ever in sight; the less desirable villages that the lorries still rattle through, ugly huddles of cottages with flakey paint on their window frames, pavements barely wider than the width of the kerbstone and one shop that sells only ginsters, lucozade and awful chocolate bars. wait, there's ham and milk in the fridge, a few cling-filmed blocks of cold dead cheddar, could probably assemble a passable sandwich if there was any bread left on the shelf. at one point i had to run right through a duck hunt - heard the guns a mile off and hoped it was only clays the were shooting but no, it was all these hateful old cunts in their white shirts and tweeds taking pot shots at panicky pairs of mallards overhead. with every gunshot, one bird's flightpath would turn into this arcing plummet into the ground. footpath zig-zagged right through middle of it all, feathery corpses littering the grass. nearest shooter called a warning to his cohorts and gave me a chipper sort of smile; i just wanted to punch him in his fatuous fucking face. got chased by a ram, ran though a grim grey field of free-range chickens. good mobile reception though

― john wahey (NickB), Wednesday, October 1, 2014 11:45 AM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wow.

real england is the best thread on ilx btw, don't miss out

what a beautiful post

damn nickB you should write a novel

on the road reimagined as a guy running thru sussex

great writing

10. It is the end of summer and it is outside even though you can feel the chill in the evenings.
9. Everyone gets cold at the same time and there is not enough jackets
8. For some reason, this is the last night everybody will be together for a long time.
7. There is more whiskey than everyone can drink
6. All the whiskey gets drank.
5. The sky stays clear and bright even though it is very very late.
4. There is nobody else for miles.
3. There is a frisbee or a football or something but everbody is idle and it just gets tossed around lazily.
2. No food is organised but somehow the cupboards seem to throw up various combinations of junkfood and everybody knows some really gross way of eating everything that somehow makes it even more delicious.
1. It is fun, there is barely enough floor space to sleep and in the morning everyone rolles up their trousers and wades in knee deep in the edge of the river but there is not so much time left because by the afternoon everyone must be somewhere else.

― I know, right?, Saturday, August 16, 2008 6:32 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wow, that and NickB's above are both great

damn nickB you should write a novel

― u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, October 1, 2014 12:23 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Guh, IKR post is great too, thread keeps delivering.

stratification stuff - like the tabbing into social, personal, &c, & this, too - always makes me worry that something could be lost, like finding things in your junk mail, but then maybe this could be an example of computers being smarter than us, truly intuitive, capable of the perfectly mathematical organisation we haven't the server space to perform, that they detect the waning enthusiasm of our epistolary prose in e-mails it took us days to respond to, they assess the decreasing frequency of our exchanges with addresses suffixed with the domain names of our old employers, & that there is a digital intercession, filing somebody essentially unimportant out of sight, & what's more leaving us with an alibi, an inbox malfunction, filtering out high school friends, filing the details for flights we'd be better off missing where we won't see them. inbox as a kind of guru, a better you, severing contact with your brother-in-law, repeatedly reminding you of how well dan is doing, how beaming his children are, how bright the caribbean is, cutting you off from what's toxic, increasing the brightness of the display when your ex writes, erratically capitalising the perfunctory check-in e-mails you send to your dead-end copywriting job until they breach basic standards & leave you set adrift, necessarily spurned & catalysed into meaningful action. i requested an invite, i requested an intervention, i need to be organised, i need to be oriented, hope for inbox is all i have, some kind of systemisation to order the mess of loose ends i call an inbox right now.

― schlump, Wednesday, October 22, 2014 9:21 PM (48 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Perhaps those who reduce people’s worries and fears to mere bigotry should go back to first principles, and consider whether, in such laissez-faire conditions, free movement has been of most benefit to capital or labour. They might also think about the dread spectacle of people from upscale London postcodes passing judgment on people who experience large-scale migration as something real.

― everything, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:10 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

where is the imagery in that post

cmon schlump, kinda feel like you are oscar-baiting us now

i think i see some burning crosses

xp

I was kind of thinking about starting a "the kind of ilx posts that there are" thread, because, for example, it seems like there's pretty much always someone who skateboards into the thread, reminds us that if you hate obviously enjoyable thing you hate fun, throws up a hang loose sign and skateboards off into the sunset.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Saturday, October 11, 2014 12:10 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

gr8 post

yeah I mean what sort of loser wouldn't like it. peace

daylight savings hoos

*hangs loose*

THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP

COMPLETELY CODEPENDENT
HATE EVERYONE ELSE
NO OTHER FRIENDS
LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE GOING ON
EVER
ANY MOMENT SPENT APART IS POINTLESS BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS AWFUL AND YOU HATE THEM
"WHY ARE YOU NOT MY LOVER OR AS GOOD AT BEING THE ONLY PERSON I DON'T HATE AS MY LOVER" YOU SAY
YOU SPEND THOUSANDS ON YOUR WEDDING AND DON'T INVITE ANYONE
NO ONE ELSE SHOULD EXIST
YOU BOTH BECOME STUCK IN A ROUTINE YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF
IT IS SO HARD TO LIVE
IT IS SO HARD TO GO OUTSIDE
YOU SOMETIMES WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LIFE BEFORE THIS
WHAT WAS THERE
THERE WAS JOY??
YOU THINK MAYBE THERE WAS JOY WAS IT THERE?
WHERE DID IT COME FROM
IT WAS DIFFERENT YOU FEEL IT WASN'T LIKE THIS
YOU WANT TO TRY THAT AGAIN
THOSE PEOPLE YOU KNEW ARE ALL A TRAIN AWAY
WILL IT FEEL DIFFERENT AGAIN WILL IT FEEL NEW AGAIN
WHERE SHOULD WE GO FOR DINNER
LET'S JUST GET DELIVERY

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, November 5, 2014 3:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

welp that describes my last relationship

― jenny holzer, Wednesday, November 5, 2014 3:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Jenny Holzer would be a good ilxor

The sad happy couple's wallpaper is those words in a Barbara Kruger pattern

instant classic:

I got IA at whole foods last time because they had a big ad on the outside of the store that said something like "Shop like an idealist." and I was imagining these rich Manhattan fucks literally fancying themselves more moral and idealistic people because they spent their banking pay checks on raw juices. I quickly got the idea out of my head, figuring it was a strawman. But then behind me in the coffee line there was this impossibly cheerful and tall and thin woman wearing that vaguely global village style of hippie yuppie clothing and she actually reached her hand up to the sky and did these soulful, dance like gestures, while waiting in line to order coffee, like she was saluting her friend the sun.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Sunday, November 16, 2014

will never forget the time I was at the checkout of what is essentially the locally-owned chain version of Whole Foods in Eugene, Oregon (market of choice). ahead of me in line was a stock photographer's dream of a multigenerational hippie family: all dreadlocks and natural fibers. I'd noticed them earlier sort of drifting around the store, the children mostly unsupervised. As they went to exit after paying, a woman called out for one of the children: "Sativa!"

zachs post there not only recalls my last relationship but also my exs email style /:

D:

still not living up to this d/n, need to step my game up

like she was saluting her friend the sun.

dying

amazing post

a few weeks ago i saw a guy walking down cambridge heath road by himself. he had A Look that was arresting, it was like troo 70s, huge billowy flowing jeans with wide bellbottoms, a - yes - v-neck tee - and hair that looked like a bowl cut had been allowed to grow out for a couple of months. he was about 25 or so, just cutting through the world like a ship unmoored from time.

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, November 18, 2014 9:55 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wow

old but good, thx to Ned 4 revive

And as for 'Running From The Law' - that's a stone cold classic. One in a thousand rock bands ever write a rock song as classic as 'Running From the Law'. People dream fruitlessly about writing a song that good for every decade of their dismal lives, and die bitter, cursing their guitars, which, through the onset of the drugs administered to the dying, take on a haunting, ghostly aspect even as they lie abandoned in the corner of the room, half demon, half Donita, mocking them as they lie in their beds, screaming for even a tiny taste of the kind of inspiration that filled the rocking hearts of L7 as they wrote that classic fucking song. Yeah.

― moley, Thursday, September 29, 2005 4:35 AM (9 years ago)

i wonder whether if you're in a musical based on your life it eventually interferes with your memories, of everything depicted, like it's a few years later & you're remembering somebody you used to know or some night you first realised something about yourself & you can't remember if the whole thing happened just regularly in plain speech or melodically, surrounded by conspicuously fresh faced young people, under peppery torrents of synthetic rain

― schlump, Sunday, November 23, 2014 10:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

one of my favorite ilx posts of all time

second Ashton Marcus, the only poet I know of whose Collected Poems sequentially predicts the following century of poetric trends from modernist collage, deep image, confessional, New York school, and Language poetry. This was an amazing feat particularly because of Macus's autism, suggesting a complete and total inability to think in language. However, this languagelesness helped Marcus who, rather than focusing on authorship, put his efforts into brute force and randomly formed words together nonstop for 15 hours a day over 60 years, hoping that pure randomness would eventually produce poems other people would find comprehensible.
Aimless--Marcus's lack of popularity can IN FACT be directly explained by his autism, as Hugh Kenner explained in an essay in the Partisan Review. The contemporary poetry's emphasis on philosophy of language holds that language is symmetrical with cognition (cf Wittgenstein's limits of language being the limits of his world). This is a very self-aggrandizing view for poets to take and Marcus--like Temple Grandin--often held that language had little to do with cognition and that it is in fact possible to think without words, as toads and unicorns do. Because this is an inconvenient ideology, comparable to Eliot's fascism and Baraka's anti-semitism, the LANGUAGE poetry cabal has more or less excommunicated Marcus from the canon.

― ts smelliot, Tuesday, 21 June 2005 20:47 (9 years ago) Permalink

oh yes, the response:

Hmmmm. Not having read the work in question, I cannot form much idea of it from your description:
...randomly formed words put together nonstop for 15 hours a day over 60 years...

My first question would be: if this monstrous ouput was ever culled, who culled it and how? If the poet himself was unable to determine what was comprehensible to others, then I would suspect there's an editor lurking somewhere, whose judgement played a particularly critical role - tatamount to co-authorship. Just a suspicion.

Also, it has often happened that the then-current theory of poetics has excluded a contemporary poet from gaining exposure or approval, but a change in the next generation will rescue the poet's work and acclaim it to the skies. If Kenner is championing Marcus, then I would scarcely say he is being buried, but rather resurrected. Fashions do come and go. Cabals die off. In the end it is the poems that count most.

Also, having done some work with writing computer programs for generating language, I would greatly doubt that true randomness could result in effective poetry, however long it was allowed to run. Marcus must have had some sense of words and meaning, however peculiar it may have been.

I am especially interested in the question of editorial intervention, asked above. If Marcus was actually a random word generator, then he can't claim much credit for it.

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 21:14 (9 years ago) Permalink

A little further reading would show that the amazing Ashton Marcus did not exist except as a hoax cooked up especially for that thread.

oh i was aware

I mentioned it for the benefit of others who would not know the thread. I think the OP was probably paying a somewhat casual homage to Jorge Luis Borges.

i can't even write posts that good about stuff that is real

i am especially fond of the indignation over the "language poetry cabal," as if more than 0.01% of the US population knew who charles bernstein was.

any phenomenological model that challenges their wittgensteinian premises is as threatening to the people who lord over the canon as "fascism or antisemitism"

just fwiw, i googled ashton martin one sentence into reading that post & the first result both disproves aimless's assertion about randomly generated language's poetic limitations, & vindicates ts smelliot's critical appraisal of marcus & the lyricism of his brutal & abstract language collisions-

Ashton Marcus (@AshtonMMarcus) | Twitter
https://twitter.com/ashtonmmarcus
The latest Tweets from Ashton Marcus (@AshtonMMarcus). PR/Social Media. Fashion+Beauty Addict. World Explorer. Fun Lover. Girl Power Enthusiast. Passion ...

twitter bots definitely produce some compelling poetry, although it's not, strictly speaking, randomly generated

fwiw aimless was right that ashton marcus's writing most likely wouldn't have been random either. smelliot says he couldn't "think in language" and yet he spent 15 hours a day wrestling with it. most likely he would have had some highly idiosyncratic way of relating to text, maybe one that critics couldn't access, but not something.

*not nothing

aim less
tree ship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNP-Wkgcyz4

ha ha

just fwiw, i googled ashton martin

Jon "What did I do now?" Dipshit, cease addressing me, or you *will* sequentially meet me and Brooklyn pavement.
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, November 30, 2005 6:31 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I see what you did there

D'oh!

That's all time, can't decide between that and "how fast could I KO this chicken shit hillbilly?"

Yeah, those two are alltime hardman.

He has mellowed with age.

Dude had a horse wastebasket that was full of kleenex, but he never seemed to have a cold.
― put your money where the maracas are (how's life), Monday, December 1, 2014

yelling at the kids is not burning and raving at close of day

burning and raving at close of day is bewailing one's own mortality and how just as you're closing in on the wisdom and vision you sought, your time starts to run out, and your energy flags no matter how jealously you've guarded your powers, and besides the futility of the whole enterprise becomes more transparent and it doesn't seem fair because seen from the right angle it all seems so beautiful but the clarity of your aging eyes forces to you see both that beauty and its pointlessness

being mad at williamsburg is basically going gentle, because it's what all the olds do when they run out of the power to be properly mad

― The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Saturday, November 29, 2014 1:37 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the other week i was in a cab stuck in traffic circumnavigating buckingham palace and having given up hope of getting anywere on time i was just staring at the royal-watchers and the victorian normcore-brutalist edifice itself, the political prison ceaucescu would have built if he had survived the coup

the royal-watcher population seems to be almost entirely foreign and oddly torpid, what is it they are hoping to see exactly? the inertial lack of the spectacular as paradoxical anti-spectacle, children scuffing their shoes, periodic commotions as tour groups in brownian motion are summoned together, that vast red asphalt tegument like the running track surrounding a soviet football stadium, a couple of praetorian squaddies with bayoneted assault rifles, the endless soot black perimeter walls delimiting an unseemly amount of hyperprime real estate that will never be realized

― نكبة (nakhchivan), Tuesday, December 2, 2014 8:47 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[apple polish mode] awesome writer is nakh, beautiful post.

funny enough i'm eating nuts right now and just had sardines for dinner so in a hundred years it's gonna be you me and the cockroaches begging for scraps outside the gates of the mormon robot city

― goole, Monday, December 8, 2014 7:40 PM

Trying to comprehend just how terrible a Flaming Lips album would need to be not to make a single list.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, January 6, 2015 10:20 AM (49 minutes ago)

chills.

I agree with Hurting 2, but I might make a distinction is between a person who makes pickles whether over a lifetime or no, and a handing down over several lifetimes knowledge of pickle-making. the one year journeyman pickle-maker is different from the family of pickle-makers. Pickle-Makers to Their Majesties, with their carefully seasoned oak-barrels, their vinegars derived of the finest vintages of Burgundy vinegars, their cucumbers grown in secret locations, specific leeward riverbanks that catch both the morning and evening light but are shaded from the midday sun by the dappled shade of sycamores, the secret timing of their preparation, ritualised as entire religions, dependent on the cycle of the moon, the mansions of the stars, and the aphelion/perihelion distances of the sun, their hieratic picklemaker robes. The contents of the recipes split between nine unknown pickle men, matching the nine wise men of the east, whose identities are a closely kept secret, and who only convene at intervals of prime-numbers in cloisters inaccessible to all but the very poorest and most humble. their pickles so refined that only a few may be allowed to consume it, they only know the secret words to be uttered at a certain few, shabby establishments that will bring forth from darkened back room the specific gherkin or cornicon required.

One has the ritual and ceremony... and also reliability... of the early industrial, pre-machine age of notions of craftsmanship, and the other an individual and localness and non-guarantee of quality. they bleed into each other - would reiterate the hippie-morris intersect point about cold-war notions of apocalypse feeding into the need to be able to do things yourself.

I think i can probably make an argument of mobile phone companies being crypto-Hanseatic Houses or Guilds from the above, but i can't be aris'd rite now.

― Fizzles, Wednesday, September 11, 2013 5:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That Fizzles, a fine fellow

absolutely jam-packed with striking imagery!

yes very wonderful post. i say that as a pickle-maker (albeit a one year journeyman pickle-maker)

fuck now i want a pickle

happy to see that post again

if all we leave is fizzles it'll be quite enough

no need for pickle heaven, already there

fizzles is a quiet, but highly distinguished, force to be reckoned with

cloisters inaccessible to all but the very poorest and most humble

wow

That was a great post. I still sometimes think of the phrase "journeyman pickle-maker"

do you think pankaj mishra and his friends like kant, arendt and roth would see sanctimonious uncontextualized linkdumps as an enlightmenment praxis?

typically practised its mostly a sort of pass/ag censure or a feelgood gesture of commonality, at its highest aspiration it can even approach the phatic, a reassuring block of text that doesn't need to be read but purportedly affirms the link poster's own views, which a priori are the same as every other right-thinking link poster's views

― Hayat Boumkattienne (nakhchivan), Wednesday, January 21, 2015 8:03 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

imagery?

obscure words awkwardly conjoined

ilx posts with striking horseshit

^^^

:-(

thought that was a great post but maybe more of a truth bomb

sanctimonious uncontextualized linkdumps as an enlightmenment praxis?
sanctimonious uncontextualized linkdumps as an enlightmenment praxis?
sanctimonious uncontextualized linkdumps as an enlightmenment praxis?
sanctimonious uncontextualized linkdumps as an enlightmenment praxis?
sanctimonious uncontextualized linkdumps as an enlightmenment praxis?
sanctimonious uncontextualized linkdumps as an enlightmenment praxis?
sanctimonious uncontextualized linkdumps as an enlightmenment praxis?

in context that was apropos, out of context it's a phrase idk what your beef is

marcos is the new ilx darling - kinda dumb and always ready to say the right thing

I disagree with marcos here but I disagree more with Mordy's assessment

that's harsh mordy

i'm sorry - marcos u seem like a sweet guy, but maybe a little too willing to endear yourself to the ilx hivemind which rubs me the wrong way

maybe he's just a genuinely nice person

marcos is the new ilx darling - kinda dumb and always ready to say the right thing

― Mordy, Thursday, January 22, 2015 2:21 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't find any of this to be remotely true, and I also think you're pretty much a dick for saying it.

he's just jealous

(I still FP'd him)

I did too

please temp-ban mordy for the "marcos is dumb" thing

haha mordy i can take "kinda dumb", that's fair. not sure what you are talking about re: "ilx darling", lol, i don't even feel like i post enough here for most folks to even recognize me

tbf i only included kinda dumb bc you seemed confused by a straight forward nakh post- i don't have any other evidence for that

there is no hivemind, this place is a quagmire of constantly shifting allegiances, appeals to some sort of taken-for-granted consensus always seem wrong-headed to me

I'd have said "being kinda dumb" except I would have maybe subbed in "dense"

i think you stole that dis from a bobby goldsboro song

Fine Mordy. Would you care to explain to us all just what an "enlightmenment praxis" is?

it's the same as a texas belt buckle

indulging nakh's pedantic elitist nonsense is nagl

yeah, he was responding to an article about how the enlightenment has been and should be performed (particularly critically in western society) and was mocking the poster of that article for backpatting himself for posting a link as tho that put him in company w/ some kind of enlightenment ideal.

nakh has obscure posts but this was not one

^

it's not complicated?

enlightenment praxis - the practice of enlightenment

at least if u were reading the thread at the time xp

the practice of enlightmenment.

i'm glad there's a level at which we can all participate

I don't think it was a complicated point either, but it was a dickpoint lol @ nakh calling someone else sanctimonious

i don't think nakh is sanctimonious. maybe pretentious at times, but sanctimonious? he's pretty cynical.

the practice of enlightmenment.

― how's life, Thursday, January 22, 2015 7:42 PM (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you're right that this is a clumsier way to say "enlightenment praxis"

but sanctimonious? he's pretty cynical.

what does sanctimony have to do w cynicism

nakh's m.o. is to point out the shortcomings/failings of other's posts/thoughts w elegant prose, like he's some kind of officious schoolmaster. fuck that guy.

it's hard to be self-righteous when u aren't really righteous about anything i think?

i guess sanctimonious about quality posting?

what does sanctimony have to do w cynicism

― Οὖτις, Thursday, January 22, 2015 2:45 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nakh might present himself as intellectually superior to other posters but never morally superior

^ right this is what i meant

is it just the elegant prose that makes his m.o. different to everyone else here then

eh ok

xp

i think his lack of moral superiority is something of a rarity here

it's true that at the moment I can't recall him staking out a position on anything beyond "you are stupid and I am smarter than you" (which tbf I think can be interpreted as implying a moral system that prizes intellectual superiority above all - a questionable value imo - but idk if I care enough to get into this)

geez, the only point I was hoping to make was not that nahk's post was nonsensical, which it was not, but that stylistically speaking it was a train wreck.

I can't recall him staking out a position on anything beyond "you are stupid and I am smarter than you"

Does he do this?

I'm obv. so stupid I haven't noticed.

lucky you

I'd say then it's you not engaging with the arguments being made

I think if there's one overarching fallacy of the butthurt round here (not just wrt nakh) it's this idea that criticism of others' shortcomings necessarily implies a superiority complex on the part of the critic, I don't think I'm especially smart but I think I'm smarter than people I think are stupid, this is true of everyone

Great posters in this thread

It's prob been a while since the posters of this forum have been ranked and assessed

An old man just walked by me w/ a sideways hat that said Vulcan on it

^ Moral or intellectual superiority?

I'm not sure nakh's ever "hurt my butt" tbh.

I definitely vote for take this one outside, back to the posts with striking imagery

An old man just walked by me w/ a sideways hat that said Vulcan on it

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, January 22, 2015 8:10 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

He just walked by again, on the back of the hat it says since 1956

Once I saw a teenager walking around Jersey City with super baggy jeans and a super-oversized t-shirt that said "Reganomics" on it.

actual striking imagery^

marcos is the new ilx darling - kinda dumb and always ready to say the right thing

― Mordy, Thursday, January 22, 2015 2:21 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is coming from deep within the hive but it reflects poorly when you reveal how smart you believe yourself to be relative to other people

Smart Don't Make You Cool

lol remember this thread? How smart are you, relative to everyone else in ILX?

this is so boring

i think you're smart and cool, but so are most ilxors. i think your image of yourself as boldly defying the "hivemind" is deluded, though. and saying marcos is 'kinda dumb' was really gross. i don't take his lighthearted posting style as a reflection of his intelligence, i mean joe is basically a genius but he posts like a 12 year old

sorry to everyone for continuing this but M apologised and clarified almost immediately

and marcos was BEING dumb itt

it's ok we're all kinda dumb

i think his lack of moral superiority is something of a rarity here

― Mordy, Thursday, January 22, 2015 12:49 PM (51 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is incredibly otm

i don't want to get into a whole conversation about ilx hiveminds - i do think it's very easy to run afoul of ilx CW and i don't think the board always has a lot of tolerance for dissenting views. it's a pretty homogenous place.

praxis has slightly different connotations to just substitute "practice" for it ... it has a philosophical/ethical element, as opposed to just "doing" ... even though it's most often associated in terms of contemporary/modern ppl like Hannah Arendt, Gramsci, and Paolo Freire, who are not "new agey" at all ... it would probably be closer to its meaning to say "mindful practice" as opposed to just "practice"

nakh's m.o. is to point out the shortcomings/failings of other's posts/thoughts w elegant prose, like he's some kind of officious schoolmaster. fuck that guy.

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 22 January 2015 19:46 (42 minutes ago)

the schoolmaster thing is a bit awry given that afaict i am younger than 80% of the people i argue with though yeah i can be overly critical of arguments these days partly because there is a deficit of that on ilx

ilx now is often so consensual that everything congregates around the same themes etc, a sort of of sports fandom affiliation for #teamprogressives within which nobody really disagrees very much and the same complacent shit is trotted all the time without a lot of thought

like the post c&ped here was about AB (who i like) posting a guardian article from a learned member of the progressive fraternity and considering that to be in itself 'discourse'

'hivemind' is a bit unfair because it has connotations of lone wolves and sheeple, it's not so much that ilx needs a load of terribly opinionated nra members, fanatical libertarians etc to diversify everything, rather just a little less congeniality, otm, this, tbomb, ^^^^ type of stuff

well i'm roping shit/fart/piss/B.O. into one general umbrella here

― J0rdan S., Thursday, January 22, 2015 4:45 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Do not open that umbrella.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkG4oIPT7tU

if it helps to end this i'd like to say the following:

wins, mordy and others are right that i was being dumb itt. i barely read nakh's post and certainly not in its original context, i just had a visceral reaction to some of the ott prose in it specifically the phrase that i c&p'd over and over. calling it striking horseshit was mean, i admit, and i generally don't like to be mean in this place. i don't have a huge opinion on nakh as a poster, i am guessing he is british b/c i don't cross paths w/ him in many of the threads i post in and many of his posts seem to talk about british shit i don't understand (not just even when i'm being dumb). i do REALLY like his "high pixel images of british MPs" thread, that is amazing though. i think he also posts a lot to tracksuit-clad-mila-kunis and that thread is also great.

i like mordy and i think he is a good presence on this board, even if i see him getting in bitter fights a lot. i think he is a smart dude and i like him.

<3 let's hug it out

I'd rather split my backcunt with a sideways pineapple than read the past two hours of this thread again

aw :)

love nakh/wins, great posters. super witty smart dudes. it's like, all the benefits of lj with none of the cons. i can't hate nakh for the harsh zings cause (1) i love a good harsh zing and (2) it fits his whole dark kubrickian evil child genius vibe. worse u can say is they at times get too high on their own supply with the vocabulary (one of these days i swear to god i will google 'apposite') & they like "glitch" music and idm too much, and a lot of the stuff on ILAFL is just... not funny. but tbh i even like those aspects too in a way, it's a whole package. A+

love nakh/wins, great posters. super witty smart dudes. it's like, all the benefits of lj with none of the cons.

ouch!

i'm just tryna rib on lj cause he kept knockin my 'nads in the trax poll

aw thx! I think you're doing nakh a disservice there by conflating us, he's way more thoughtful & constructive than me, I just like stupid puns and shitting up threads with pedantic meta talk

it's true that some nakhisms do not get funnier with repetition but the ones that do crack me the fuck up

<3 LJ unto eternity btw, top 5 even tho he sometimes ties himself in knots trying to give himself the reacharound

lol :)

welcome back flopson

wait what there is a thread where mila kunis wears a tracksuit

xp - thx, good 2 be back :)

it's on 77

you fuckin 77 fuckers

it's not so much that ilx needs a load of terribly opinionated nra members, fanatical libertarians etc to diversify everything, rather just a little less congeniality, otm, this, tbomb, ^^^^ type of stuff

― Hayat Boumkattienne (nakhchivan), Thursday, January 22, 2015 12:54 PM (32 minutes ago)

here we disagree. i hardly think that "congeniality" is a serious problem hereabouts. ilx, like many tightly policed spaces, is overly reliant on bullying intolerance as a means of maintaining its comfortable orthodoxy. this, more than anything, generates the complacent atmosphere you bemoan. so "hell yes!" to nuanced criticism and exploration, but you might wanna pull back on body slams you sometimes throw in their name.

"high pixel images of british MPs" thread, that is amazing

on 77 too?

no its ILE, i think it is "high resolution" instead of "high pixel"

xp contenderizer, depends on who he is targeting. by targeting "safe" posts made by popular posters, nakh is provoking them to defend positions that otherwise would be taken for granted, reinvigorating debate (in theory.) this is really different from someone bullying unpopular posters whose views don't align with the consensus. this kind of behavior is what restricts conversations

ty, can a britisher tell me who the hell this is: high resolution photos of british mps

should also mention that ilx's self-policing reflexes have more positives than negatives as this is the only board i know of that isn't spammed constantly with overtly ignorant posts. but the self-congratulatory echo chamber phenomenon nakh mentions is also a real thing

i like most of you else i wouldn't post here, j get on 77 and stop prevaricating (although that thread does not feature that much kunis, sadly)

i have liked shakey for most of his ilx tenure but not so much recently now that he addresses not some but almost all of his posts as if he was responding to a reactionary commentbox moron on a newspaper website who doesn't exist on ilx

'lol sure obama is going to bomb russia'

'lol yeah aids was def invented by china' etc

i am old school, the whole idea of a secret ilx borad saddens me

? people develop strange impressions

xp

I am against 77 in principle j otm

oh please. get ur butts in there

if it hasn't happened yet it's never going to happen. I'm sure you all miss my presence v much.

yeah I get the idea that certain posters' wrong ideas of what 77 is calcified a while ago

it is a shame!

i love how cuddlestein this thread got

fu

my 77 issue is that iirc it's a feeb move to request an invite

I would nominate any of yis if that helps

should also mention that ilx's self-policing reflexes have more positives than negatives as this is the only board i know of that isn't spammed constantly with overtly ignorant posts. but the self-congratulatory echo chamber phenomenon nakh mentions is also a real thing

― Treeship, Thursday, January 22, 2015 2:03 PM (34 minutes ago)

o yeah, agree completely w/ you there. there's truth to the "self-congratulatory echo chamber" accusation, too, but i'm dubious about the potential positive effects of an upsurge in brutal takedowns.

my 77 issue is that iirc it's a feeb move to request an invite

― rob, Thursday, January 22, 2015 4:18 PM (38 minutes ago)

the original son—like when frats make you wear a dress and get paddled for rush

77 is a crut enterprise, anyone who thinks it could have any meanspiritedness at its core is wrong.

lex iirc

77 effectively a refuge from meanspiritedness when irl shitheads are targetting identifiable posters on the rest of ilx

^

o yeah, agree completely w/ you there. there's truth to the "self-congratulatory echo chamber" accusation, too, but i'm dubious about the potential positive effects of an upsurge in brutal takedowns.

― deliberately clunky, needlessly arty, (contenderizer), Thursday, 22 January 2015 22:43 (7 minutes ago)

sure but brutal takedowns are not remotely the only or the best response to that, treesh is a good example of someone who has no interest in that sort of style but is inimical to 'otm'

partly this is because of the concretization of experience afters on the internet and tiredness with saying shit, as seen in the recent and hopefully shortlived parodic use of 'hot take'

that 14 yr old derrida thread someone revived the other day was full of takes so caustically hot that derrida died of the radiation burns two years later, but even in that very naive discursive mode it produced content because there was a strong enough diversity amoing the takes and a certain level of care

/after years on the internet/

as seen in the recent and hopefully shortlived parodic use of 'hot take'

seems like ilx is a little more porous to usage trends happening in the wider internet esp. twitter. it still has it's somewhat hermetic character (we still say "otm") but less self-enclosed than it used to be.

just so it stays distinct enough from chan or reddit speak and i'll be fine. as soon as people start with "tfw" jokes i am fucking gone

http://www.trainingforwarriors.com/what-is-tfw/

so glad I don't know what that means

next generation of hip posters are getting old enough that they are scrambling for signifiers of youth as they age out of the sweet demographic spot; this is cyclical and i've been there

sorry i meant 'mfw' though i think t is used at times too

just so it stays distinct enough from chan or reddit speak and i'll be fine. as soon as people start with "tfw" jokes i am fucking gone

― goole, Thursday, January 22, 2015 6:26 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

tfw no 77

ofc is the most rubbish recent internet abbrev ppl are saying a lot

i think it's strictly in terms of information that ilx has become basically 98% porous to the rest of the internet, i can't turn my head from one interwebthing to another w/o seeing the same shit over and over

treesh is a good example of someone

― Hayat Boumkattienne (nakhchivan), Thursday, January 22, 2015 3:22 PM (19 minutes ago)

then we're agreed. to treeship!

also your username is amazing

this thread is for striking imagery people can we keep it together please

I tried with the pineapple but they kept on idk idk

thread de-railment is an ilx birthright

at least we're not talking about Review

anybody upthread who is considering renouncing their aversion to borad 77 after 7 YEARS of it being on ilx, you can request access here:

Request Access to 77 Borad

wins! :D much obliged & reciprocated

flopson, the kitchen is hot and we know the stakes in the EOY polls - you nominated at least 1 thing i voted for and introduced me to blanche blanche blanche all those years ago plus despite our almost incompatible tastes you roll for the stuff you like in a mostly enjoyable way so uh…respect?

all is forgiven

borad 77 after 7 YEARS of it being on ilx

jfc i miss the old days of 33 seconds after its opening

Ha, had absolutely no idea what borad 77 was until this thread!

tom, just click on the link and sign up. it's nothing sinister, it's pretty much like ILE really, but it's a safe haven from the prying eyes of the world at large

Why though? I waste enough time on one ILE .

... and I have nothing to hide!

i see no striking imagery in these posts.

Dud dud dud dud. (Jon -- J4ime Per3z and I watched this at a sleepover freshman year, and were both turned on by Liv Tyler. He jerked off in his room while listening to Smashing Pumpkins and I had to sit around wiht his mom, Y0landa!)
― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, November 18, 2004 8:54 PM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

awesome post all around imo

i am mostly struck by the plight of y0landa.

struck by a mothers plight

at least he googleproofed her

i like

Gonna finish all my stories with "Y0landa!" from now on.

to the tune of
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmOLtTGvsbM

There is a part of me that would love to dress up like a shit failed mod for the hilarity factor. Comb over the bald spot, try not to look like a crimewatch photo-fit and wear a completely ill fitting suit for the first time in my life, viola! instant ace face tragedy! Once an uncle of mine who was a survivor of Artane child abuse travelled to Dublin for a witness court appearance, symbolically dressed up as a catholic priest, with dog collar, robes et al.

― xelab, Wednesday, February 11, 2015 8:09 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

had to read that in context to be sure that xelab wasn't gritting on me again there.

ha great post

gotta go w/ordinary combustibles let's me honest. that includes wood which means trees, houses, huge ships in wet dock going up in flames, the smoke everywhere, great billowing columns blackening the dawn, what ho, the ships are on fire, our ships, our great ships, the ships our fathers built, behold, they are in flames

ordinary combustibles for sure

― The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Thursday, February 19, 2015 3:32 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That's fantastic.

yh

players crumpled by the winds and lost in time, no longer sure which team they've been traded to, weeping under a flag formed by a torn phoenix suns jersey

― Clay, Thursday, February 19, 2015 8:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^ superbly handcrafted for the occasion and its ILH audience, its luster may dim as time slowly removes it from its proper setting, but it was stunningly adept in its time and place, and a much deserving choice

today at the salvation army i offered a hipsterish young person the vintage pendleton field shirt that was too small for me and he didn't know what pendleton was. i didn't how to proceed from there because i had assumed he'd be primed for apeshit but it was a good and quality american garment of fine workmanship and i felt that there was an outside chance that it would find a way into his rotation because of intrinsic qualities and not hey look i'm in fleet foxes now.

― slugbuggy, Friday, February 20, 2015 11:13 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I just screamed at a squirrel pie advertised by the despicable paloma faith how could I not

― local eire man (darraghmac), Sunday, February 22, 2015 12:54 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

looking through early century pictures, the hotel serves like the same people as it always has, modern iterations of the edmonton raw fur merchant's assocation, resource sector management and executives, various various industry types doing anything possibly associated with oil and gas, galas for syncrude in the ballroom, the ceo of xxxxx infrastructure that nobody has ever heard of but have projects in northern alberta, nigeria, bolivia, libya, trillion dollar company. lots of corporate guests traveling on discount rates.

the rest is:

lots of richest man in grande prairie-types, five nights in the big city in a suite, valet a lifted f-350 and pre-arrival checking out who's dropping a grand a night on a room and it's like, son of the guy whose dad whose grandparents came out to homestead in some town on the alberta-saskatchewan border in the 1910s and got the first ford dealership and built the biggest house in town and it cost them like fifty grand and it has a six car garage and the son now runs one of the dealerships and donated ten grand to the local dinosaur bones/old tractor museum and got a wing named after him, where they have the discovery center where field trips go to dig up plastic bones from a sandbox/the vintage snowmobile section. six figures spent in the outlets and in room dining, mostly on scotch and steaks. preparing guest resumes for them is always interesting, a century of heavy coverage in local newspapers that they now co-own.

guys down from fort mac on romantic getaways that request towel swans on the beds and chocolate covered strawberries, valet lifted f-350s.

nhl teams.

members of third world royal families. members of the british royal family.

prostitutes. invariably quebecois, cash deposits.

minor celebrities. this afternoon: david sedaris.

― dylannn, Monday, February 23, 2015 12:22 AM (7 hours ago)

^

that's america right there

I want a book

I think u mean that's canada

oh ha, missed the "edmonton" part

hopefully no c4 exec is reading this so the world is spared neighbourhood dog inventory swap and the spectacle of rousseau and bellini being given the pavlov treatment with hmp issue tasers while feral akitas tear apart pigeons in london garden squares

― no love deb weep (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 24 February 2015 11:15 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

tbf the chorus seems a p real audio illustration of the corkscrewing psychosis of comeback anxiety

havent dressed in weeks, scrunched up paper balls everywhere, ok crj u can do this just simplify it yes simple really really really really really really sim-

on a muted television in the background the new tay video plays again

― r|t|c, Tuesday, March 3, 2015 5:10 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The bitching here is directed at whoever allows this to happen, mostly, but there's a woman in my office who seems to have some quite bad mental problems, and has just been jettisoned entirely by any boss or team. We move from desk to desk (as does everyone) and she keeps annexing desks in different parts of the office, but she sits and talks to herself in a strained argumentative tone all day - and not like "oh I must email Steven" or whatever, it's like this bizarre rambling. She's sitting behind me now and I just heard "but he was holding a child!" - a lot of it is kind of mumbling. She looks at Google Maps with a map of Daventry, all day.

My boss has emailed to try and see what's happening or why she has no team whatsoever - makes me wonder how many people are working in civil service buildings just drifting along having been cut loose from any responsibility or structure, or contact.

― Junior Dictionary (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 17 March 2015 13:21 (Yesterday)

There was a point about 10 years ago when the boss at a company I worked at flipped out when an apprentice kulak drove into the yard with a rolled up copy of Nuts on the dash of his Berlingo. He got quite a hard fucking and was given a written disciplinary warning about having visible "porn mags" on company property. Even though I immensely disliked the boss I thought he was 100% otm in this case.

I personally think James Brown is one of the vilest & most worthless pieces of shit of his generation and would genuinely wish death upon him. He is that much worthless that he almost makes Paul Morley seem a likeable person. If there is a hell I hope he ends up in some dismal loop; trapped in a white transit van with dumb young guys smoking biftas at 6am, talking about spitting on Lucy Pinder's arse with Moyles blasting out at full whack - aeterno!

― xelab, Friday, March 27, 2015 8:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

garda & xelab make this webforum great & i do not employ hyperbole

I was waiting in line for the bathroom at the opera during intermission. The line was long, but it moves fast and the Lyric has been giving old ladies time to pee during intermission for like a century so there was nothing to be concerned about. UNLESS you were the old lady behind me who kept querulously piping, "We're not going to make it! We're not going to make it!" like we were sneaking over the German border into Switzerland and could hear dogs barking at our heels.

― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, April 16, 2015

... wailing hearts and steroids and amyl in a giant mirrorball blender.

― Tim F, Tuesday, April 7, 2015 6:01 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

if you ever hang out on the Steve Hoffman forums, you'll notice that every once in a while a regular poster will suddenly vanish from the discourse. he'll be in the middle of a heated Pono debate and he'll excuse himself for a seemingly minor interruption ("BRB, I think I hear the FedEx guy at my door"), and then just...silence, crickets, radio static. as the weeks pass and he fails to respond to your PMs and emails, you begin to get seriously worried: did this guy die or go to jail? so you start a thread about him on the Off-Topic board (Hey, does anyone know what happened to ThePruneDuke67?) and literally 30 seconds later your thread has been deleted and Steve himself has sent you a PM: 'Hush, child, he is beyond our reach: he has acquired the entire MoFi catalogue and now he is on a higher plane'. so you keep your mouth shut and act like nothing happened because how can you second guess Steve Hoffman? but eventually all of your friends have been spirited away to audiophile heaven and you realize that you are literally the only person contributing to the Toto Album By Album thread (by now you've exhausted the proper Toto albums and moved on to Steve Lukather's solo career) that's when you decide you need a new hobby.

― the geographibebebe (unregistered), Sunday, April 19, 2015 8:01 PM

:D

porcaro sweat

lol clouds

(nb credit goes to hungry4ass)

the bowels are not what they seem do you love trident

― conrad, Tuesday, April 21, 2015 10:43 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

That one sort of leapt out at me too

The Stiles-hate on here makes me sad. She seems nice. I'd be friends with her. We could make homemade milkshakes in the blender, put on pajamas, and watch taped episodes of "Politically Incorrect" (which I don't care for, but I watch with her because I'm a good friend). She'd introduce me to Marlon Brando's ghost at P. Diddy's Academy Awards after-party and I'd tell her when her hair looked bad. She would prank call me and pretend to be Isaac Hayes. Eventually, she would come to realize that she wants to be more than "just friends," but I would turn her down because our friendship means that much to me. We would move to Kokomo, Indiana and grow old together.
― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Monday, July 26, 2004 12:31 PM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

anyway, my dream isn't ilxor-involved but I had one of the strangest dreams ever the other night — I had found both my kittens who had ran away when I was living in FL a year ago, but one of their heads had been replaced by an outdoor water faucet. It was horrifying, like it was trying to be affectionate and I was just afraid.

― for the next throbbing minutes (corey), Thursday, 2 December 2010 01:43 (4 years ago)

:D

Jesus

that classic bed wetting dream

wow, i don't remember that at all.

not sleeping tonight either i guess.

I was at my friend's birthday party last night and there were photos of Pomplamoose everywhere. Apparently he lives at their house, along with two other not-Pomplamoose tenants. When I found this out I argued with anybody who would listen about their insufferability. I woke up covered in vomit in the studio where they record.

― I_Got_Loaded, Sunday, December 28, 2014 12:05 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Me and my brother (not really my brother, just some hillbilly lookin' guy) are staying at my parents' place (not really my parents' place.) Our "mom" (some sort of Carol Brady lookalike) is making us pallets to sleep on in the living room. Me and Bro say, "But what about the Cottonwood Room? Can't we go sleep up there?" She sighs as she's about to put a pillow in another pillowcase and says, Yeah. Of course, I haven't slept up there in ages.

We get up there and it looks like a smaller version of the room Dave Bowman went to in 2001. No windows, lots of ivory and cream fixtures, very bright. Brian Wilson is in there, as a matter of fact. "Oh, you two want to stay up here for the night? No, that's cool," and he pushes past us through a door with a bunch of cameras hanging off of it, not unlike the Dennis Hopper character in Apocalypse Now.

The bed is this huge baby-blue King size mattress with no blankets or sheets. And on the bed is Elvis -- not looking so good. His blue eyes match the bed and they're kinda rolling around in his skull. His hair's all matted and as loud as the room is bright, starts singing The American Trilogy. Those horns and the background singers echo off the mirrors and shiny light fixtures. Except, Elvis changes up the lyrics a little bit and sings, "In Dixieland, on one cool Tuesday morning..." and scoots a model airplane at the end of the bed with his foot into a Lego model of the World Trade Center....

I look at my hillbilly brother. He looks at me, well, slackjawed. And as he's looking at me with big saucer eyes, his fake teeth fall out from his gums and drop to the floor.

THE FUCK DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN.

― pplains, Monday, May 11, 2015 4:01 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dying at the stereogum VNYL story, had not heard of this amazing scam. i'm imagining someone having some kind of account difficulty, they can't turn it off, lost password, and every month three more England Dan & John Ford Coley LPs show up, with "#LazySunday" stickers on the front, because of their interest in Sleater-Kinney, Meat Beat Manifesto and Sun Ra. they run out of places to put them, local stores have them on the blacklist, city sanitation crews rip them out of the trash and hurl them back under their doors. and yet they keep coming. endless England Dan & John Ford Coley. eventually a fire starts and they die of poisonous vinyl fumes. all for only $25 a month --- thanks, kickstarter and #VYNL!

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, May 14, 2015 1:19 PM

xp - shades of Scott Walker's 'Jesse' in there.

chipotle is full of shit, I go into there and wear a little towel over my eyes as if I was eating an ortolan, so as to not see the "gmo free" banner

― ultimate american sock (mh), Friday, May 22, 2015 11:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

y0landa!

my favorite talkback was at a moma film that i went to when i first moved to nyc and was on the autodidactic film school tip and it was an experimental thing from the late seventies without narrative playing on a wednesday afternoon matiness and there was a constant return to a kaleidoscopic shot of some guy jacking off for the camera with emokid voiceover and this went on for like two hours. most of the audience left but i was in full-on "I WILL LEARN SOMETHING HERE" mode and I stuck it out until at the end it was me and 7 senior citizens and the film ends with nothing offered except i think the dude finally came i guess? so they bring the director out and whattayaknow, it's clearly the jackin' it dude. "Questions?" and each of the seven senior citizens got up and lectured the guy about the filmmaking process and what was he thinking, etc along the lines of
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svGAQJYIRqQ#t=12

― like a giraffe of nah (forksclovetofu), Thursday, May 28, 2015 3:24 PM (1 hour ago)

in love with full-on "I WILL LEARN SOMETHING HERE" mode

don't think there's such a thing as a good look for limbaugh unless it is the last look a lost astronaut has of earth as he hurtles screaming and helpless away from it at great speed and completely untethered to anything that will prevent his progress into the infinite depths of darkest unknown where he will be preserved as a monument to the futility of existence for all of time

― head clowning instructor (art), Thursday, June 18, 2015 2:13 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

there's a whole underdocumented level of [the search for authentic connection in the post-capitalist techno-hellscape] by like [slightly more self-aware cogs in the machinery of modernity] who look down on [people less specifically uneasy with the death of value] even though they [partook of the same state- and capital-mandated cultural indoctrination]. basically [embracing irony and the free play of signifiers in the rotting husk of meaning] w/e

― max, Saturday, June 20, 2015 10:11 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Otis Wheeler wrote this on thread First Love on board I Love Everything on Jul 29, 2001

I don't fall in love with people, but for the sake of conversation, I'll humor the question and say that my first love was this girl I met when I was like 10, who had all this awful taste, always going on about her creepy interests, like the new Addams Family movie or the latest Tag Team single (she would actually refer to it as "the latest Tag Team single", rather than "Whoomp! There It Is" or "the one that's not 'Whoomp! There It Is'"). I spent all my time telling her to her face how much I didn't like her and how much she sucked. So it was like most of my relationships, just more open. It didn't really end, I mean, it was never a relationship, but she did get voted Biggest Whore in high school. My actual first love (though still not my actual first love, because I don't fall in love with people) was this wild, out of control, underage bellydancing hippie diva from India who dumped me while we were on vacation in CA because I was too "bleak and cynical".

Opening monologue from "Wild at Harry" (1986)

Yeah but they don't announce themselves as such. I'm talking about a group that would stroll around this place wearing matching satin jackets, heads held high, communicating with one another with complicated multi-layered in jokes and throwing pies in the faces of anyone who got in their way.

― Treeship, Friday, July 24, 2015 2:05 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is that abt dickhole ringsnap zing cru

iirc it was about the cliques of ilx in general. i would like to know about the cliques of ilx tbh, it is hard to stay on top of these things. maybe we could have a wiki.

ILX the RPG

context for treeship’s post is in “is banning posters for beefing with mods really what we want to do?” thread on imp
it's treeship's response to three word username, who posted by mistake in gawker thread
it’s re ilx cliques in general but maybe noize board in particular?

facebook is the worst bc humanity is the worst

― Mordy, Friday, July 31, 2015 12:56 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

picture a book of human faces, being clicked on, for eternity

― j., Friday, July 31, 2015 1:01 PM

^^ c+p from the excelsior thread but i don't care. excellent stuff.

dearie, dearie me

I named my balls Belle & Sebastian.

― Your Favorite Album in the Cutout Bin, Tuesday, August 11, 2015 10:25 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i need to get some hot weather underwear tips, my gusset's so swampy you could grow cress in it.

― feargal czukay (NickB), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 10:50 (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

stinking rummagery

97a) actually, sometimes when i'm falling asleep i get this weird... err... repetitive thought thing, where i'll keep visualizing something like mickey mouse's bowtie getting bigger and smaller, bigger and smaller, bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and, oh god, how can they be so big? and then i sort of come to my senses, realize this is a dumb thought and move on. p.s. i was not molested by mickey mouse.

― remy bean, Wednesday, June 15, 2011 9:25 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hi. I had a dream when I was 13 about this ly hansnom boy (He's 15) And, well, It bothers me that I've never seen him before, I felt in love when I dreamt it. Anyway, here it gose;
I was getting dressed in a hallway of our old church. Two of my old friends and I were dressing up in thick party dresses. One of my friends had on a thick red glittery dress, the other had blue. I wore silver. As I sliped on the tight spegatie straps of the dress, I
saw a boy walking past the door way. He hesitated, as did I, and he wore my brothers white and blue striped suirt, and cakeys. He smiled at me, shook his head in embarsment, and walked out of sight. I bided my friend by, and apeared without the dress-I now wore long-sleaved black suirt, and blue jeans. I ran to him; and saw him talking to my brother. My brother now wore his own suirt, and my "unknow friend" wore a green suirt. I shyly went over, and placed my fingers gently on his shoulder. He turned, faceing he. Then he grabed me, pulling me in his arms, and french-kissed me. (I have never had a first kiss!)

I walked along the pews of the old church, my "unknown friend" was sighing unherd lyrics of a song. He and his four-crew band jamed on guitars, thou unherd, the poeple in the pews song wordlessly, claping their hands in a rymeth. I walked to my friend, pressing myself against the fan-wall. Then my mom screamed in rage. I looked, (seeing everything,) I watched myself run from my mom, people claped their hands in song. I triped, and slowing began to wake up, I saw only blackness....Then, I herd my "unknown friend" say my name, telling that I could make it. His voice,(O' his sweet voice!) strengthened me, and I got up and ran. Then, my mom threw a large frizbe. It was ten-times larger then usaly, and blue on the out side, white near the middle, and in the middle was a red star. I dramaticly jumped on stage in slow-mo, kicking the frizbe away. The unherd music stoped, my "unknown friend" had brown eyes, wich shown in the dimming light. He wore, now, blue jeans and a brown suirt. He smiled, I chuckled in ish way. Then we kissed, falling backwards.

I woke up and began crying. I became upsessed. I named him Ryan, and tryed to call him in the dreams that I could "control", nothing worked....

Am I being stupid? Or is he real, and I'm sufering heart-brake?
PLEASE HELP ME!!

― Kate Van Dorlanda, Saturday, June 3, 2006 1:22 PM (9 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink