Van Halen Album Covers and Questions We May Have Abou them....

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http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004Y6OA.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

A friend of mine swears that the band's collective profile pictured above is meant to be a map of the US of A. Do you see it?

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002LPD.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Is that meant to look like a chastity-belt?

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002NGS.01._PE_SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpgWho thought this one was a good idea?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Is the word 'fuck' actually an acronym? All of the covers being either ugly or stupid (or both), my question would be who has the stupidest facial expression in Van Halen (using the first cover as an example). Eddie often has this wow-I'm-really-a-shredding-guitar-player-but-I'd-rather-be-drunk expression on his face.
My question: did Eddie's mother drop him as a child?

― Gilles Meloche (Gilles Meloche), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the cover of Fair Warning is pretty cool...however incongruous to the album's content. The first Van Halen album is just a study in cliche.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't want to be living anywhere near michael anthony's groin

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I can see the USA map thing, FWIW. Eddie's left leg is Florida, Roth's right is Baja, Michael's head is Maine, the legs in the middle are Texas, etc.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't want to be living anywhere near michael anthony's groin

Was this a risk, Mookie?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I definetely see it.....(the map), I just don't necessarily believe that it was intentional.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Is the word 'fuck' an acronym? Is it short for: For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge? I actually want to know.

― Gilles Meloche (Gilles Meloche), Saturday, 19 June 2004 02:22 (twenty-two years ago)

You could look it up in the dictionary.

― Captain Sleep (Captain Sleep), Saturday, 19 June 2004 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Like so. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=fuck

― Captain Sleep (Captain Sleep), Saturday, 19 June 2004 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

In other words: "of course not".

― Captain Sleep (Captain Sleep), Saturday, 19 June 2004 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Is the word 'fuck' an acronym? Is it short for: For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge? I actually want to know.

As always, Snopes does a fine job in debunking this particular myth.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 19 June 2004 09:17 (twenty-two years ago)

And then there's this one:
http://musicmoz.org/img/editors/opm/5150.jpg

― Linoleum Blownapart (calstars), Saturday, 19 June 2004 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i remember when 1984 came out and the cover was considered scandalous, ah, innocent times.

― keith m (keithmcl), Saturday, 19 June 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember the big deal among us VH boosters being the use of the synth

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Which was, like, cool (I was more a pop kid who liked the way that "Jump" sounded on the radio -- but the best synth part is in "1984" itself near the end when suddenly it shifts to this sad little Numan bit)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

ned sooo otm!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 19 June 2004 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I was pretty sure that "fuck" was an acronym for either that or "fornication under consent of the king," but I think that's just a myth.

― billstevejim, Saturday, 19 June 2004 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i remember when 1984 came out and the cover was considered scandalous, ah, innocent times

Indeed but a good 4 years prior, the mighty Black Sabbath had already done the inappropriate 'angel smoking' thing

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd600/d671/d671177cw7n.jpg http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf500/f574/f57436uz4zk.jpg

― Broheems (diamond), Saturday, 19 June 2004 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that meant to look like a chastity-belt?

THANK YOU Alex!! I've been convinced of this ever since that LP was released, but everybody I've ever suggested it to is skeptical. I posed the question to the morons at alt.music.van-halen (which has possibly the lowest collective IQ of any newsgroup I've ever glanced through) and was ignored.

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Saturday, 19 June 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Myonga, you of course now make me wish that you could please investigate and post samples of their talk there.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

the consensus among my friends was that "Hot for Teacher" and "Panama" were good and the rest was pansy-ass crap

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'll Wait" was a weird second single in context. It was just about as big as the other three but it was this strange power ballad of sorts that wasn't any "Jamie's Crying" and it seems to have been forgotten.

My secret non-single fave on that album is "Top Jimmy."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 22:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought "Panama" was the second single. Wasn't "I'll Wait" the last?

― Broheems (diamond), Saturday, 19 June 2004 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i recently bought the remastered 1984 since it was the first album i bought/liked as a young'un. i ended up mp3ing 'hot for teacher' and 'panama' and then returning it to the store. i like the cover though. fair warning is cool, and has the heavy instrumental "saturday afternoon in the park."
http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/dre200/e287/e2874054ziy.jpg

― Heh, Saturday, 19 June 2004 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Wasn't "I'll Wait" the last?

No, I'm pretty positive -- based on the memories of my middle school years -- that it ran "Jump," "I'll Wait," "Panama" and "Hot For Teacher." I also remember getting the album after the first two singles were out and being pleasantly surprised when I started hearing album tracks I already knew on the radio.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahh yeah, Ned.. you are right. Sorry to have gotten pedantic; I never should have doubted you. I just spent like 20 minutes trying to search this out! I must be really bored today. Why are Van Halen fan sites so poor and hard to navigate?? Anyway, yeah the order was:

Jump (January 14th, 1984)
I'll Wait (March 28th, 1984)
Panama (June 6th, 1984)
Hot For Teacher (October 3rd, 1984)

I think the reason that didn't seem correct to me is that the album's videos made a big impression on my young MTV-addled brain, and it seemed like "Panama" was the 2nd one. I don't remember anything about "I'll Wait"; did it even have a video? Also it seems surprising that they would have followed up "Jump"'s radical change in sonics with the album's other synth-based song, rather than a more fan-base-reassuring rocker. So yeah, you're totally right - weird second single.

― Broheems (diamond), Saturday, 19 June 2004 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

the video for "I'll Wait" was actually a Nam June Paik installation at the Rhode Island School of Design - VH was sort of flirting with high-culture approval at the time. The whole thing was a complete failure though and it took Paik's career several years to recover

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

wait I'm sorry I think I just made that shit up for no reason at all. fuck.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i used to pore over the covers with my best friend rob morlock..we would hightail it back to our room and get out the magnifying glass..I still remember my mother banishing the helmut newton/david in chains poster to my closet cuzz she thought it was too offensive for my room

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Saturday, 19 June 2004 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

where the white stripes got their aesthetic:
http://www.diverdowntribute.com/covers/diverdown.gif

― Heh, Saturday, 19 June 2004 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember the big deal among us VH boosters being the use of the synth
It WAS a big deal. I interviewed Eddie several years ago, when I was but a wee lad. I loved his quote about the synth. Actually, that was one of my favorite interviews ever. What a cool guy.
Here it is if you care:
http://www.michaeldeeds.com/cgi-bin/getPage?features/eddievanhalen.html

― Mr Deeds (Mr Deeds), Sunday, 20 June 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Van Halen III has a bad cover, but the worst cover by far is this:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002MUQ.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

This cover just hollers: WARNING! IMPENDING SUCKITUDE!

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Sunday, 20 June 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

wait I'm sorry I think I just made that shit up for no reason at all. fuck.

Haha.

Fun interview, Mr. Deeds. Wonder what he would say these days.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 June 2004 05:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, the cover for Balance looks like something even Queensryche would've vetoed.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 20 June 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

The video in my mind for "I'll Wait" is of a hotel swimming pool that my family was staying at.. for some reason we had it all to ourselves one day and the hotel was blasting music from somewhere.. I was diving off this little concrete platform covered with fake grass, which had become squelchy and ratty and gave off a musty smell, into this clear cool water, over and over again, my father and mother reading in their deck chairs, my sister splashing about with her toys. I heard the line "are you for real, it's so hard to tell... from just a magazine" and thought about the Playboys that me and my best friend Josh had found in a wooden box near his house.. further mysteries.. the synths didn't seem odd or new or strange to me, it just sounded the way "modern rock" ought to sound

a year and a half ago i found "I'll Wait" in Gimme Gimme records, as an EXTENDED single, which as far as i could tell just meant a longer keyb intro

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 20 June 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow. I cannot remember the last time I heard "I'll Wait". I worried that if I suddenly played it, I'd be teleported in time back to my junior year of high school. Great plangent opening synths, I don't care what anyone says.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 20 June 2004 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm downloading it right now. I can barely remember it. "Jump"-esque in its synths?

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Monday, 21 June 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

From alt.music.van-halen:

...pick up where VOA and NSGB left off and ROCK LIKE HELL!! shove some serious wailin down faggit eddie's skinny throat! SAMMY RULES, FUCK EDDIE AND FUCK ROTH!!

...Billy Corgan is a faget with no talent!!! "Those little white lies are gonna come back and haunt you"-Sammy Hagar

...DAMN CJ YOU REALLY DO GIVE DAVE'S NUT A JOB!!!!! UMMMM
WELL THAT MAKE'S A NOTHER DAVID LEE FAGOT ROTH FAN

...I could care less what happens to this band because I definitely won't go to any of their concerts to hear some fagget sing my fav VH songs.

There you go, Ned: Four different posters, four alternate spellings of the pejorative "faggot"! I can only assume they'd have an even harder time spelling your surname properly!

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Monday, 21 June 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, I'm used to that by now.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 21 June 2004 02:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, "I'll Wait" is coming back to me now...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Monday, 21 June 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

drop dead legs > top jimmy!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 21 June 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

In fourth grade, we'd all mimic the drum introduction of "Hot for Teacher" by moving a pencil up and down rapidly across the spiral wire binding of our notebooks.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahahaa....we used to mimic the sound of turn-table scratching on the covers of old text books.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

house of pain > drop dead legs > top jimmy

No, I take that back. I love every song on the album equally...as if they were my children.

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Monday, 21 June 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"Jump" — C/D?

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Monday, 21 June 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Classic, duh. Is the mix of the song used in the video available in any audio form? There's some DLR ad-lib vocals after the guitar solo in the video that are missing from the album version.

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Monday, 21 June 2004 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

two things i know for sure:

1) drop dead legs is the best song on 1984.

2) david lee roth >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> sammy hagar

― tk, Monday, 21 June 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

some DLR ad-lib vocals after the guitar solo in the video that are missing from the album version.

Ooooooh, I'm not the only one to have noticed this. When the video for "Jump" first debuted on MTV, that part where DLR adlibs was silent. A product of bad video editing, it just showed him yelling into the camera with no sound coming out of his mouth. Later, they dubbed some vocals in there to make that sequence not seem so awkward. So the "mix" that you're talking about is just the regular "Jump" with some crazy yelling tacked on for about two seconds.

I still swear up and down that I saw a version of The Cars' "You Might Think" video where at the end, instead of pulling off his face and a waterfall coming out of his head with the rest of the band rafting out on a bar of soap, Ric Ocasek just put his hand back down and lipsynched half-heartedly the rest of the song before just giving up and smiling as the music played out. RAW VIDEOS!

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 21 June 2004 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

HOT FOR TEACHER is the greatest song on MCMVXXXIV, sorry tk. The beginning drum bit alone is so great, and sounds so THICK. And the guitar when the drums kick out right before the groove - matchless. My junior high school yearbook quote is from this song - 'Aw man, I think the clock is slow...'

― Was it illusion? (calstars), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok, "I'll Wait" is the shit. How did these guys actually pull off this synth shit? Was it some kind of magic in those suspended chords? David Lee Roth's tight multitracked harmonies? The bass throb? Fuck me, but this sounds the fucking band who should have (as Robert Christgau once said, I believe) been the biggest band of the 80s.

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought they were!
(Biggest American band, anyways)

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 04:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I was gonna say, if they weren't the biggest band in 1984 itself in America, who was? The other monsters of that year were all solo or clear bandleaders -- Prince, Brooooce, Madonna, etc.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 04:20 (twenty-one years ago)

U2 clearly ended up as such in the decade...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

U2 = Biggest American Band of the '80s? Well, after that trip to Graceland and all...

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

the secret was in the drums. They could have done anything they wanted and still sounded amazing just so long as 1) they didn't replace Roth with some third-rate seventies has-been and 2) they didn't mess with the drums.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, Alex's stroke of genius (I can't believe I just said that) was to take the snare wires off for that song, it's just a big hollow THWOCK.. and of course the Miami Vice style roto-timbale action for the breaks.. Cooper and Burnett here we come!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit, I am going to have to dig this out now.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I dug it out last night, and Alex: I was JAMMING.

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I just imported all six remastered CDs onto my work hard drive this very morning. I play 'em on shuffle, just like I do with the Citizen Steely Dan box, and I'm never disappointed.

― Phil Freeman (Phil Freeman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

So say Greg Prato of AMG: "Van Halen's 1984 is arguably the best and most defining rock release of the '80s."

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Can someone please confirm that the drums at the beginning of "Hot for Teacher" are meant to sound like an idling "hog" and/or "chopper," perhaps the kind ridden by a chaps-wearing Diamond Dave to a strip club or aerobics class or place of worship?

― Hammy (hammy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I always thought they were just Alex VH's way of demonstrating his flashy rhythmic prowess.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Just dug out my cassette (remember those?) of 1984 and woke the infant with a rousing airing of "I'll Wait," and by gum I must say --- `TIS VERILY THE SHIT!!!

I really miss this band (i.e. Van Halen with DLR as a going concern).

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Those DRUMS!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sayin', man!

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

But grand as the drums are, is it still a weird second single from the album or not?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember finding "I'll Wait" very creepy at the time (didn't know the term "stalker," but that was definitely the impression I got from the lyrics, and still do - anybody remember that movie The Fan, with Michael Beihn wanting to lust-kill Lauren Bacall?) (or was it Lauren Hutton?).

― Phil Freeman (Phil Freeman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I've heard "I'll Wait" on the radio a couple times in the last year, it's not totally forgotten.

I'm not a big fan of it though. I'm with the John D ("Panama" & "Hot For Teacher," fuck the rest) crew.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

No one's slighting those songs -- "Panama" and "Hot For Teacher" are both classics. But I'll put it out there: NOTHING else in pop sounds like "I'll Wait".

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

NOTHING!

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"In The Dark" by Billy Squier?

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

NOTHING!

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

But grand as the drums are, is it still a weird second single from the album or not?

I didn't think it ever was a single, was it?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'll Wait" didn't have a video. I remember it being big news back in 6th grade or whatever when Kurt Loder or the other guy (this was B.T., "Before Tabitha") announced that Van Halen would not make a video for their single "I'll Wait".

― wetmink (wetmink), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

b-b-b-but they made'em for "Hot for Teacher" and "Panama"!!!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

My friend used to dive into the pool a la Eddie dangling from the wire in the "Panama" video...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

But I'll put it out there: NOTHING else in pop sounds like "I'll Wait".

http://www.na.rim.or.jp/~takasaki/rox/cdjkt/journey...greatest%20hits.jpg ?

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't think it ever was a single, was it?

Dude, read upthread! We've been talking about how it was a single for a while now!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

It was a single! Probably no one remembers that because it didn't have a video... which is probably why not many bands (or labels) subsequently made the decision not to make one after that...

Just dug out my cassette (remember those?) of 1984 and woke the infant with a rousing airing of "I'll Wait,"

Um... "woke the infant" isn't a euphemism, is it?

― wetmink (wetmink), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"Reach down/Between my legs/Ease the seat back..."

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Would everyone please stop calling me "dude"?

I just don't remember ever seeing it as a single, but lo and behold....here's the sleeve:

http://svc003.bne009i.server-web.com/catalogue/leye3/images/9563.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

if I ever direct a movie that features an "infant waking" scene it will be scored to "I'll Wait." I have no choice in the matter.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Would everyone please stop calling me "dude"?

Okay, sporto.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Alex, if ever there were an appropriate thread to call someone "dude," it would be one about Van Halen.

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Van Halen was anti/non video for awhile. The video for "Pretty Woman" was shot for something like twenty bucks, and I remember DLR saying that the "Jump" video only cost something like $600 or so.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

And of course, when they finally went ahead and did a full-on story video video, they only do one of the best ever on the entire damn planet, namely "Hot For Teacher." Sharp.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Alex, if ever there were an appropriate thread to call someone "dude," it would be one about Van Halen.

Aahahahahahahaha...this is very true. I stand corrrected. They are, after all, LA to the BONE.

Is it me or does DLR's cadence on "I'll Wait" remind anyone of Anthony Kiedis?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

The video for "Dreams" is just footage from an airshow. It's pretty fucking sad.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Well. that's the Hager era, remember. As far as I'm concerned, Van Halen died with Dave's departure.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

agreed.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm kind of surprised a class action suit didn't FORCE them to change the name to "Van Hagar."

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Imagine if the band had been named "Lee Roth"...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:38 (twenty-one years ago)

What was their original name? Mammoth? Mastodon? Zinjanthropis? What was it?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

pre-Roth it was Mammoth if I'm not mistaken. They were practically a Mountain cover band or something.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

they almost called themselves Rat Salade! not a typo!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Mammoth, I'm pretty certain.

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Yet they only became so when DLR came on board...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Hate to ruin "I'll Wait" for everybody but doesn't it sound like (Huey Lewis)x(Genesis), also 'Hot for Teacher' and 'Drop Dead Legs' sound like they were written with the guitar transcriptions in mind rather than the actual songs, combine these unfortunate trends and that's Van Halen's subsequent career. "House of Pain" sounds like what they did on 'Sgt Pepper' with throwing cut-up bits of tape in the air. I wonder if when Roth quit Ted Templeman thought "this is just like when Michael McDonald replaced Tom Johnston!" and felt confident and relaxed.

― dave q, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah but "Hot For Teacher" goes diddlybopdiddlybopdiddlybopdiddlybop so its all good

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

but doesn't it sound like (Huey Lewis)x(Genesis),

OMFG that's weird. When I was re-playing it, the wife walked in and asked: "Why are you playing Phil Collins?" Needless to say, it was cold shoulder city for the next hour.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

And if she'd said "Why are you playing 'Turn it On Again', from the 1980 Genesis album 'Duke'" what would you have done then?

― dave q, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you suggesting that "I'll Wait" sounds like "Turn it On Again"?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

For what it's worth, I own Genesis' Duke, so how big a jackass does that make me?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I always thought he said "but you just smile in the picture cells," like photographic plates were filled with "cells," or maybe I thought it was "cels," like frames from a movie. But is he really saying "and the picture SELLS" ???? I refuse to google lyrics. I'm not actually sure I want to know.

The guitar solo on that song feels way too short, it should have gone on for like three minutes

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I refuse to google lyrics.

dude, you're missing out.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

NOTH...well, ok. Genesis, I guess I could sorta see, DQ, though they never had the pop sense VH had here (that is to say, they had one for sure, just not like this). I'm not sold on the Huey Lewis comparison, however. You only wish these two giants of popular music collaborated...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

That would be just like living in paradise

― dave q, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Would we have two tickets to it? Would the dashboard light illuminate it?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

it took a discussion of Halen-with-synths to lure dave q out from hiding

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Multi x-post: Regarding the "Hot For Teacher" drum intro, to my ears it sounds as though a SECOND drum track was overdubbed halfway through. What do you guys think?

If not, that's surely some thick slab of superhuman octopus-like drumming!

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, i've always thought the 'hot for teacher' drum intro sounded weird. it might be either overdubbed or delayed. or maybe alex is doing some wild double bass drum action.

― sherm, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, remember Alex Van Halen does have seven arms.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Alex Van Halen....yesterday...

http://libbagillum.com/webphotos/kali.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

The Anti-Rick Allen...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Rick Allen....yesterday...

http://www.coolmotorpics.com/One_Armed_Bandit.jpg

Going right to hell for that, btw.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

HAH HAH!

― tk, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

'Tis more machine than man...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

...twisted and evil?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I refuse to google lyrics.
dude, you're missing out.

On what? Pop-up ads and spyware?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and I've been trying to find "I'll Wait" online for sometime. I can't use anything like S***S***, so this is all I've found so far. Ugh.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, I'm sure there's a MIDI version of it online somewhere...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha dave q wins

I was playing this tonight and the loverly Emma B says "gah i HATE this guy" "oh yeah?" "what's his name?" "David Lee Roth? from Van Halen?" "no, no.. PHIL COLLINS" and by gum..

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 1 July 2004 00:37 (twenty-one years ago)

1. Little Guitars is Halen's greatest song. Ever.

― aa, Thursday, 1 July 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

what is the story with "Panama"? the lyrics are clearly about a hot woman in a sports car and then the chorus is just the name of a country in Central America? is it about the canal?

― eman (eman), Thursday, 27 January 2005 06:25 (twenty-one years ago)

a man a plan a canal...

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 27 January 2005 06:58 (twenty-one years ago)

birth canal

― eman (eman), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I can see the USA map thing, FWIW. Eddie's left leg is Florida, Roth's right is Baja, Michael's head is Maine, the legs in the middle are Texas, etc.

If I had more energy this morning, I would color in the red and blue states.

Indeed but a good 4 years prior, the mighty Black Sabbath had already done the inappropriate 'angel smoking' thing

The bigger deal was that it was a child smoking...

Yeah, the cover for Balance looks like something even Queensryche would've vetoed.

It looks like something Dream Theater would have used, though...

― Edward Bax (EdBax), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to live in the guitar head, but I moved to the guy on the far right's shoulder recently.

― David Allen (David Allen), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm in Michael Anthony's kidney, how fitting.

― eman (eman), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't want to be living anywhere near michael anthony's groin
-- mookieproof (ole04...), June 19th, 2004.

Why is Michael Anthony's groin any worse than the others'?

... just curious.

― donut christ (donut), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

would you rather live near Gary Cherrone's groin?

― donut christ (donut), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I would fear the crotch-rot.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

what is the story with "Panama"? the lyrics are clearly about a hot woman in a sports car and then the chorus is just the name of a country in Central America? is it about the canal?

Panama is an allusion to weed, isn't it?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"Weed, that is. Acapulco Gold, Jamaican Tea."

― eman (eman), Thursday, 27 January 2005 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

what person said the first van halen was a bad album? i want to come to your house and kick your teeth in while blasting "on fire" super loud. call me..

― cornelius crash (cornelius crash), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahaha.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Imagine if your girlfriend just smiled and the picture sold, what that might do to a guy...

― Mark (MarkR), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

ten months pass...

Van Halen Photos and Questions We May Have About them....

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20060306/capt.camw12703061102.elton_john_oscar_party_camw127.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 6 March 2006 18:00 (twenty years ago)

Question #1 - Are those his teeth that he's holding in his right hand?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 6 March 2006 18:01 (twenty years ago)

No way. Is that really Eddie?!!

― darin (darin), Monday, 6 March 2006 20:42 (twenty years ago)

Musician Eddie Van Halen arrives at the 14th Annual Elton John Academy Awards Viewing Dinner and After-Party in West Hollywood, Calif., Sunday, March 5, 2006.

That would be not only The Most E-Mailed image, courtesy of Yahoo, but also THE MOST VIEWED.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 6 March 2006 20:54 (twenty years ago)

Is that Tawny Kitaen behind him?

― pdf (Phil Freeman), Monday, 6 March 2006 21:08 (twenty years ago)

pretty soon he'll be landing parts as "scary old guy" in rock vids. like that creepy old bald guy in the metallica videos like "unforgiven." that guy got a lot of work for a year or two there.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Monday, 6 March 2006 21:23 (twenty years ago)

When I saw that pic out of context on the oscar thread, I thought he was some crazy relative of Robert Altman or something. Wow.

― darin (darin), Monday, 6 March 2006 21:37 (twenty years ago)

He looks like a late-model drawing of Doyle from the "Love and Rockets" comic.

― morris pavilion (samjeff), Monday, 6 March 2006 21:48 (twenty years ago)

SAME EXPRESSION!

http://www.afgrant.com/images/vh_04.jpg

― Da Na Not! (donut), Monday, 6 March 2006 21:54 (twenty years ago)

meanwhile, all that Jack has made Mike look.. well, the same.. add a few pounds.

http://bonnevillesports.com/images/Mike.jpg

― Da Na Not! (donut), Monday, 6 March 2006 21:57 (twenty years ago)

Why is Daid Lee Roth doing the radio thing, really? They're all rich, right? Is it attention? Lack of any other job? Cos he likes talking?

The show is just so...bad. No other word. And I even sort of wanted to like it. The music he plays on it is also quite peculiar...like Motown covers played by trad rock bands. It gets worse when he starts talking about how rappers "sample and scratch their voice over old songs." I think he thinks every hip hop song is one man with pro tools...

― paulhw (paulhw), Monday, 6 March 2006 23:09 (twenty years ago)

I don't think Diamond Dave is rich.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 6 March 2006 23:10 (twenty years ago)

Really? Hmm, OK. I guess I just read all the stats (multiplatinums) and assumed some of that money had hung around / been invested by someone, somewhere. (If you buy houses, it's hard to destroy that investment).

Another thing: was he always talkative and sort of...intellectually aspiring? Coming from New Zealand, I'd never really heard of him before this year ("jump" was seen as a one hit wonder thing), so I didn't realize they were an institution...

Oh, and we like pictures. Here's the radio promo:

― paulhw (paulhw), Monday, 6 March 2006 23:14 (twenty years ago)

Coming from New Zealand, I'd never really heard of him before this year ("jump" was seen as a one hit wonder thing), so I didn't realize they were an institution...

I'm from NZ too, but I have to say, this is news to me. Classic rock radio was full of Van Halen when I were a lad. Then again, classic rock staples != Top 40 hits. Not all the time, anyway.

― Lotta Continua (Damian), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 00:03 (twenty years ago)

http://www.vanhalenstore.com/shop/graphics/00000001/ST13B.jpg

― don weiner (don weiner), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 02:44 (twenty years ago)

i wish i was older enough to have done blow off the cover of 1984 IN 1984...
then, the 80's would've just clicked into place in my head.
as it stands, they just look terrible and plastic in memory...
maybe THAT's the truth.

btw-jump/panama=BOTH CLASSICX!!!

― eedd, Tuesday, 7 March 2006 17:59 (twenty years ago)

Funny thing is "I'll Wait" was slated to be the big single of 1984 I think. I just remember that Michael McDonald co-wrote it. Of course it flopped, and "Panama" and "Hot For Teacher" (granted, also not written by Van Halen but was a cover of Boston late 70s 'rebel' rockers Thundertrain) dominated thereafter, slightly unexpectedly.

― Da Na Not! (donut), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 19:43 (twenty years ago)

Donut, what the hell are you talking about?

ALL SONGS COMPOSED BY ANTHONY, ROTH, VAN HALEN, VAN HALEN.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 20:02 (twenty years ago)

http://www.rockinboston.com/posters/thundertrain.jpg

http://www.rockinboston.com/covers/ttrainbomp.jpg

― Shelly Winters Death Clip (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 20:13 (twenty years ago)

Yes, but did Van Halen cover Thundertrain, or is this some sort of Led Zeppelin/Memphis Minnie type thing.

AND MICHAEL MCDONALD?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 20:16 (twenty years ago)

haha the thundertrain "hot for teacher" isn't the same song.

― Shelly Winters Death Clip (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 20:17 (twenty years ago)

That's what I was asking.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 20:27 (twenty years ago)

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20060306/capt.camw12703061102.elton_john_oscar_party_camw127.jpg http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002V0Q.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― joygoat (joygoat), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 20:35 (twenty years ago)

>Another thing: was he always talkative and sort of...intellectually aspiring?

You need to read Crazy From The Heat NOW.

― pdf (Phil Freeman), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Crazy From the Heat = TEH AWESOME

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 21:25 (twenty years ago)

I swore the 1984 vinyl LP credited names other than Van Halen.. the CD credits the band though.

― Da Na Not! (donut), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 21:54 (twenty years ago)

The CD certainly credits Michael McDonald for "I'll Wait" though. Shine sweet freedom!

― Da Na Not! (donut), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 21:55 (twenty years ago)

Ooh I hope that shows up on the next episode of Yacht Rock!

― Petroski (petroski), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 01:53 (twenty years ago)

Well I'll be danged.

I'll Wait (4:41) -
"I'll Wait" was a synthesizer-driven song co-written by Van Halen and former Doobie Brother Michael McDonald. Dave and Ted wanted this song kept off the album, but Edward and Donn pushed for it. This song is about the girl wearing men's underwear in a Calvin Klein advertisement. Roth tacked the picture next to his Sony Trinitron TV and wrote the lyrics to her.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 05:25 (twenty years ago)

This whole fucking website is amazing:

1984 (1:07) -
"1984" was Eddie's improvised keyboard introduction to "Jump." It was originally over 30 minutes long and titled by Valerie Bertinelli.

The voice of Waldo in the "Hot for Teacher" video was PHIL HARTMAN.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 05:27 (twenty years ago)

http://www.van-halen.com/newsite/rhrn_album.gif

photograph was taken by one of my college professors! there were two lawsuits involved with the image.

the first was between the photog and record label. apparently they never received permission to use it in the first place [a designer ripped it out of some magazine/book and scanned it in]. the second lawsuit involved the family who lived in the destroyed home, who apparently didnt want it plastered all over the world and claimed they never signed release forms. i believe their case was eventually dropped.

― mts (theoreticalgirl), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 05:36 (twenty years ago)

never underestimate an arpegio .

― retrogurl, Wednesday, 8 March 2006 05:39 (twenty years ago)

Eruption (1:42)
"Eruption" was one of Eddie's warm-up exercises. Ted Templeman was so impressed when he heard it, he told Ed to record it for the album. He did it in one take and to this day, he explains that he didn't play it well and made a glaring mistake. The long decending growl at the end was created using a Univox EC-80 echo unit housed in an old WWII practice bomb that Ed found in a junkyard.

― retrogurl, Wednesday, 8 March 2006 05:40 (twenty years ago)

doesn't "i'll wait " remind you of genesis - "abacab" ?
i was dominated by a dominant chord then raped by a crotchet.

― retrogurl, Wednesday, 8 March 2006 05:47 (twenty years ago)

doesn't "i'll wait " remind you of genesis - "abacab" ?

maybe not the song "abacab" but definitely that era of genesis.

― Shelly Winters Death Clip (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 06:22 (twenty years ago)

He looks like a late-model drawing of Doyle from the "Love and Rockets" comic.

HAHAHAHA!!! Too true.

― sleeve (sleeve), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 07:22 (twenty years ago)

I'm still tickled, imagining Eddie Van Halen cornering Valerie Bertanelli in his studio and forcing her to listen to thirty minutes of synthesizer noodling.

Val finally comes back with her judgement: Cut the thing to a minute and call it "1984".

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 17:48 (twenty years ago)

doesn't "i'll wait " remind you of genesis - "abacab" ?
maybe not the song "abacab" but definitely that era of genesis.

-- Shelly Winters Death Clip (theundergroundhom...), March 8th, 2006.
did van halen do prog-art ?
yeah i meant the sound and chords , not the melody.it sounds like "sarah jane" too.

― retrogurl, Thursday, 9 March 2006 08:06 (twenty years ago)

nine months pass...

I'm betting that the new Van Halen bass player will be on the cover of the next album.

― Mr Deeds (Mr Deeds), Friday, 5 January 2007 17:21 (nineteen years ago)

way up at the top, that's not a map of the USA, that's a map of ROCKING OUT.

― m0stly clean (m0stly clean), Friday, 5 January 2007 20:26 (nineteen years ago)

three years pass...

All I've listened to today is Van Halen; on my second run-through of the DLR6 and nearly ready to start my third. They are just owning my ass. So good.

The little "ooh" right before the first verse in "Hot For Teacher" is perfect. Dave's little exhortations are the key to enlightenment.

― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 21 January 2010 20:54 (sixteen years ago)

Just learned recently that the cover of Fair Warning is actually only a tiny portion of a larger painting:

http://files.posterous.com/burningfp/hepysowelEFjgkllCaGgiAdhHrwwkbonuEDvArnFJwxvGdeuzgsajphrzxDk/media_http1bpblogspotcomwYJ8paHNyGsSowyOUklY3IAAAAAAAABVshQ01wk9sGhks1600WilliamKurelekTheMazeAjpg_auAxBtixIqzpskg.jpg.scaled1000.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=1C9REJR1EMRZ83Q7QRG2&Expires=1264110815&Signature=VYHRDADlUk6r08N73GtP812ztlI%3D

― Alex in NYC, Thursday, 21 January 2010 21:48 (sixteen years ago)

Hmm, yeah, parts of it anyway. The upper left part of the Fair Warning sleeve doesn't match that portion of the painting. Still very cool though.

― you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 21 January 2010 21:51 (sixteen years ago)

four years pass...

http://dangerousminds.net/comments/they_tried_to_make_us_look_like_the_clash_van_halen

― Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 19 January 2015 23:27 (eleven years ago)

four years pass...

I picked up a vinyl 1984 last weekend with an upside down back cover. Just glanced at discogs, doesn't appear to be a common error (unlike Workingman's Dead). Not valuable or anything at least.

― a large tuna called “Justice” (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 18 April 2019 23:24 (seven years ago)

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