Utterly bonkers things your relatives have said about your music

Dad, on Sonic Youth: "Why don't you just kill yourself?"

"How can you listen to this rap stuff? It's so repetitive!!!"

"Listenin to that shoot-em-up rap music again?"

"Are they black?"

"This is nice...relaxing."

"Are you serious?"

'ohhh these are very political, very interesting! whoever wrote these seems very bright.'

and y'know what?
he's absolutely right.

Haha, I've heard that exact phrase emitted in response to Can's "Mother Sky" on the radio. Perhaps it's a primal reflexive thing with certain sounds and people.

Turns out it was Camper Van Beethoven. And she was right.

It was almost as if he had a bad memory attached to the stupid song, but I doubt it. My father isn't emotionally tuned in enough for that. I think it ws just driving him crazy.

Everytime he hears rap music and I'm around, he asks me "What do you like about this? Anyone can do it." So, naturally, I always say "do it, then." Undaunted, he always - ALWAYS - recites a dirty limerick from before the dawn of time in his 'jive' voice, embarrassing us both. This happens often. I wonder 'is that what hip hop sounds like to my dad?"

Once, In a fit of vacation downtime boredom, my mom once read the lyrics to Exodus's "Impact in Imminent" from the cassette inlay card as if she were reading a Shel Silverstein poem, grinning all the while. "This is pretty good! It sounds like something you would write!" she said. I couldn't ever listen to it after that.

Me: "Umm, Tower Records?"

Dad:"Tower Records?"

Me: "Yeah".

Dad: "......."

Dad: "hmmmmm"

Dad: "......"

Dad: "Did you still want to know the chords to that Beatles song?"

Me: "????"

Me: ".....I guess so."

Dad: "Well here, let me put it on(takes Trout Mask out of the CD player, puts other CD in.)"

On an unrelated note, I remember years ago I was listening to the Foo Fighters and the song Monkey Wrench was on and my grandma's cousin was in the kitchen, and she goes, "is that the Beatles you're listening to hon?"

on cibo matto's 'viva la woman': "so is this the stuff everyone means when they say 'emo'?"

also intriguing is that punk and hip-hop stereotypes are not separate in their minds. "If blacks don't like the ghetto, why don't they leave, intead of sitting on their asses playing these stupid 'punk-rock' songs?" (we had been talking about Green Day).

another scorcher: "Well actually, the only Elvis song I've even heard is "Everybody was Kung-fu fighting"".

(That's "Friend, on Morphine," not "Friend on morphine.")

Dad: *puzzled expression*
Me: It's supposed to sound like that. They're doing it on purpose.
Dad: I'm sure they are!

"I like how simple it is."

On dub: " I feel like I'm in space."

On your roots vocalist: "They have such beautiful voices."

i think thats the only music i listen to that she genuinely hates

that's mall music -you know for suburban dolts and gay people.

Boomers can be weird like that. A folkish song with a 4/4 beat can be "loud and obnoxious," especially if they're unfamiliar with it, but if it's something even louder and harder that's an oldie of theirs they're more likely to tolerate it and not be too put off by it at all. In other words, if they're not in the mood, "Lazy Line Painter Jane" can be a loud, hooliganistic "rock song" while late-60s Stones is just accepted for being loud and bawdy; even though the latter is by far the more likely to raise hell.

Winner!

Dad: My God, how can you listen to that?! Sounds like they're all just making it up as they go along!

Me: What do you mean, "...they're all..."? It's just two guys.

Dad: ...Really? [no less repulsed, but impressed despite himself]

'sounds like a fight in a pub'

My mum once said 'can't you play your guitar in tune?'; the offending article was indeed not me but Black Flag's 'MY WAR' (side two)
Off topic but somewhere I have a tape of my grandma (now 92) singing Meat Puppet's 'Lost on the Freeway'. I was on guitar and casio keyboard and my cousin was on just stood there sniggering

But still, in the end, I think the only song she really liked was "Veteran's Day Poppy".

quite precient there, perhaps.

i don't think it actually was, but you never know. i'm pretty sure it was some noisy rock shit like air conditioning or natisuta hetekata.

he's gotten a lot better since then, thankfully

i wouldn't know if he's wrong or not.

My parents have always been cool about my music. I think the only problems they ever had was when I was 13 and into Guns & Roses. I remember my mum reading the lyrics and quoting something like "Turn around bitch, 'cos I wanna use you", before saying "You know, that's really not the kind of thing you should say to a woman." Thing is, the meaning of the lyric went right over my young head...

Not family, really, but I was once listening to Alice Coltrane's solo organ track Om Namah Sivaya in the front room when one of my housemates came in and said "Hey, is this the music from Streets of Rage?" Philistine!

Also, when I was 17 and going through a Trent Reznor worshipping phase, my dad pissed me off royally by saying Nine Inch Nails sounded like the Pet Shop Boys.

let it be noted that this has never been said during 'Daydream Believer' (nor, luckily, during any rap videos).

"These songs are all very...pointy."

He just wanted me to get off the computer so he could go to Nickelodeon.com.

And now you have no hilarious family quotes to cite, YOUR LOSS! :-D

Not music related, but priceless, and I'm too lazy to start an ILE thread about the dumb shit our elders say

Oh, and whenever he hears me say 'dude,' he talks disparigingly about how 'the blacks' started that. "the blacks" - I LOVE that!! Like they're a team or a franchise or something. And this from a guy who says 'tur-lit' and 'rasslin''

Seriously, though, despite all of this, he's way fucking awesome.

That was during the same period that we had like a month-long argument about distortion. He held that good music could not contain distortion of any kind - "distortion is a problem that sound engineers work tirelessly to get rid of. who but a moron would deliberately introduce distortion into their sound?" We argued for probably dozens of hours about this. I finally wore him down and he capitulated. He soon forgot about capitulating and the argument began anew.

I was playing Sly Stone's _There's A Riot Going On_ and a white friend my own age said something derisive like "go back to africa." I could hardly believe my ears. I chewed him out good, rest assured. He one of those basically decent people who occasionally suffers from diarrhea of the mouth.

Hilarious. I suffered through this EXACT same ritual growing up.
Although he's on record as liking MC Hammer and "Mama Said
Knock You Out" by LL Cool J.

And he progressed into saying "I like the music, but I can't
stand rapping." Which is a miniscule step in the right
direction (I oughtta get him into RJD2 and DJ Shadow).

Awesome blurb. Put it on the cover, Boredoms!

Y'know, we laugh about our parents for being crotchety and bonkers. But they have to suffer through it too! I distinctly remember my Dad playing his favorite John Fogerty album when Grandpa was over, and Grandpa said, and I quote, "this sounds like a load of shit."

Other Grandpa, on everything: "If it ain't country, it ain't shit."

your grandpa is a man of taste and perception.

"This is the most sentimental bit of writing since James Joyce" (or similar).

my aunt compared joanna newsom's singing to the pitch-shifted sample in akon's "lonely", in an oddly underogatory way.

I was about to say: isn't "Music For A Thousand Malfunctioning Sewing Machines" a Steve Reich album?

"This is good, is it the Beach Boys?"

(I was all like "Don't come in here and GET IT!!!")

dad on daniel johnston's hi how are you: "this sounds like cyndi lauper underwater." (now my dad likes daniel johnston and has no recollection of saying this.)

dad on ween's pure guava: "is this supposed to be a joke? because it sure as hell isn't music." (and this is coming from a massive zappa fan.)

dad on the jesus and mary chain's psychocandy (after borrowing my cd to listen to): "is it supposed to sound like that?" (i know, i know, this is pretty much the standard reaction to psychocandy.)

and i think my mom laughed for about a minute straight when she overheard a little bit of melt-banana's scratch or stitch.

"...can someone get the phone?"

"...can someone get the phone?"

That's happened to me too!

Winner.

dad otm

"so, Jerry Lee Lewis, eh?...is that the hot new rock combo these days?"

in 1979!

That's way too good to be fer serious.

"..............."

My family can never match that, I fear.

- a 'jazz'-loving coworker.

as a kid i bought the cassette single of Red Hot Chilli Peppers "Breaking the Girl." Against my will, my Dad put it into the family van deck while on vacation. About three bars in, he says "This is shit. Marilyn, hand me the Santana."

god bless you dad.

"this is not what good christian boys listen to."

Neice, while listening to Boredoms - Vision Creation Newsun -
"You need psychiatric help"

At least one of them was right.

"Is this Phil Collins?"

"Is this...meditating music?"

"This isn't so bad, but he sounds like he's on heroin or something!"

I just sorta nodded, I didn't have the heart to break it to him.

"It's all a return to the more tribal, primative, rhythm-oriented approach."

On Mozart:

"He produced music that explores the full depth of human emotion."

on otis redding's "dock of the bay": "this is a nice new orleans record..."

on marvin gaye's "what's going on": "turn off this horrible rock stuff..."

"come on, the Beatles did this in 1969 on 'She's So Heavy'"

Dad: Is this The Sex Pistols?
Me: Yeah, how'd you know?
Dad: These guys played in Guys bar (his alma mater's bar) while I was tending bar one night.
Me: (My jaw dropping as I realize my dad saw a historic concert) Really?
Dad: Yes. They sucked then and they suck now. (Walks out of room)

Your grandad is Geir?

SNAP

I like mom: "if this is the cure i'd hate to see the disease."
-- jelkino (jergin...), September 17th, 2006., which I can totally see a mom saying in response to The Cure.

A classic around my house during high school was 'turn off that gangsta rap' in response to the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

A co-worker told me that hiphop sounds like "sad Motown". I'm not sure if this was totally astute or totally off-base.

OMfuckingG

track: UK Decay "Werewolf"

I agree. The only reason I thought I'd show my dad TMR is because it's from his generation and he likes Zappa. So I thought he might've got it.

I've found that my parents know the name "Captain Beefheart", but not the music.

"This isn't even music. That singer is just horrid, and he's so ugly."

My mom hearing Klymaxx's "The Men All Pause" on the radio in 1984:

"What a horrible song. Why would women want to sing a song about MENOPAUSE??!! UGGHWWW!"

"You know, he's the best of those rappers. He's got class. Even though, y'know, he's a pimp daddy."

Cousin: "I hear you're playin' music on the stereo there. So, whatcha' playin'?"
Me: Captain Beefheart
Cousin: Captain who?
Me: Captain Beefheart
Cousin: OH YES, Captain Beefheart, he was one of your dad's crazy friends from back in the day. :D

So this was bonkers in the sense that I almost passed out when she said this.

Er, no. You do understand it wasn't exactly a hit record at the time?

"This is shit. Marilyn, hand me the NWA."

Now I know the answer is Merzbow.

kinda not quite this but just now, mother performing scat warbles over the playful tones of esoteric (funeral doom-drone horror) before claiming 'i like it...it sounds like a spaghetti western!' and finally asking 'is this heavy metal music?' why verily

My smallest brother uses a piece of shit p2p called limewire to download music and he believes 'red red wine' and 'sweat' are Bob Marley songs despite my best intentions to correct him.

Just this past weekend. Driving in the car. Charlotte (age 5) is in the back seat. I'm playing "Digital."

"Why is he screaming? He sounds very upset."

"Digital" by Joy Division, that is.

Wait how is that utterly bonkers? Sounds completely accurate!

The utterly bonkers aspect of it is that my five-year-old sussed it out immediately and stated it rather matter-of-factly. I thought that was quite cool.

"Orquestra de lata!!!" - my dad's frequent exclamation when I had the Zeppelin or somesuch turned up too loud, during our first years in North America.

"Lata" = tin; or tin can (also "a bore" or "a drag").

"You don't really LIKE that, do you???"

"You've got to be kidding me" -- said by my step-father upon hearing "Reach Out" by Cheap Trick on the soundtrack to "Heavy Metal: The Motion Picture."

He then went on to ask where the real heavy metal was.

my mom is a treasure trove for this kind of stuff. one month she was asking me, "isn't this BOM BOM BOM BOM stuff just making you more depressed?"

the next month, i was playing "magic m" and she was like, "this is really gorgeous, who is this?"

My all time favorite (which I think I've mentioned on ILM before) came from my mom, when I was starting to listen to Miles Davis and John Coltrane in high school:

"Jazz is music for people who think they're smart."

so that's where you got it from, Ph1l ...

My mom on Belle and Sebastian: 'Can we change the music please? this is kind of boring'

no, she didn't say 'I prefer The Smiths'

She didn't need to.

"every song sounds the same"

I was trying to tune my guitar when I was 15 and my mom called from downstairs, disingenuously, "What is that, is that a new CD? That sounds good." I scowled.

Basically when my dad compares one band to another, the comparison is wildly bonkers

example?

my uncle described something i played on my radio show as sounding like "music by earthworms." i wish i remembered what it was.

i don't remember what it was but recently - recently! - my grandmother referred to something i played as sounding like "recordings of worms underground."
i don't think it actually was, but you never know. i'm pretty sure it was some noisy rock shit like air conditioning or natisuta hetekata.

― GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Sunday, September 17, 2006 11:06 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^???

"Now THIS I like!"

My mom upon hearing "Gimme All Your Lovin'" by ZZ Top during a drive home from college in 1989. Up until that point, I'd been playing Screaming Blue Messiahs and Gene Loves Jezebel.

My dad on hip hop: "I don't understand it. I don't like the type of singing. There's no music".

^^^???

haha... she passed that on from my uncle. wow, i didn't remember posting that.

also i apparently have a bad memory generally.

My smallest brother uses a piece of shit p2p called limewire to download music and he believes 'red red wine' and 'sweat' are Bob Marley songs despite my best intentions to correct him.

― Moka, Saturday, 12 September 2009 21:55 (Yesterday) Bookmark

About a year ago a friend of mine refused to talk to me at a party because I told him Don't Worry Be Happy isn't a fucking Bob Marley song and to stop talking about how it's your favourite Bob Marley song. He rang me up like a month later and was like "Oh yeah, you were right, my bad. Wanna pint?"

When I was in high school, I got in an argument with my aunt, who had said that modern music was terrible, unlike her music (she was in her 40s), because you couldn't understand the lyrics. She specifically mentioned Prince and said, "Who the hell can understand the words to 'Purple Rain?'" I actually sang them to her there on the spot, and she said I was just making them up.

"What are you listening to? Some sub-Soundgarden bollocks?"

I was (and am) listening to Sunspots by Julian Cope. Nice one, Dad.

This isn't really specifically about my music, but it always make me laugh. My mom (after watching an Entertainment Tonight profile of Prince, and being otherwise pretty unfamiliar with him as far as I know): "I think Prince is a genius."

Which I consider to her credit, obviously, but still pretty funny.

My dad any time I played reggae: "We used to call that calypso."

lol

Rudipherous - same here, except he calls it "Blue Beat"

My parents studiously avoided discussing music for the ~5 years I was blasting tunes out of my bedroom. The only comment I remember is my mother saying "This is like Art Garfunkel!" about Bonnie Prince Billy's "Ease Down the Road".

"Is this the Blue Man Group?"

My stepfather responding to Autechre's Confield playing on my car stereo.

My nan, upon hearing the Cocteau Twins "Musette and Drums" live bellow out of her TV: "... I think I'll go make a cup of tea for us both shall I?"

Mum, passing by me playing Dead Can Dance in my room "ooh, you're playing those funeral dirges again! whooooooozzzzzz *strange ghostie noise*"

Parents usually OTM in this thread.

Mum, passing by me playing Dead Can Dance in my room "ooh, you're playing those funeral dirges again! whooooooozzzzzz *strange ghostie noise*"

lolz

lol

Coworker (she is ~35, I am 25), upon my mentioning I was going to see the Psychedelic Furs show the other night: "Oh man, I love the Psychedelic Furs! That is totally my generation's music. How do you even know about them?? You're still so young!"

This was a few years ago, at a time when there was only one album and that album was The Sound of Perseverance:

Mom: What are you listening to?
Me: Death.
Mom: Sounds like it.

my brother, in response to the oblivians, royal trux and stereolab:

"you only listen to one band. they pretend to be different bands, but it's all just the same guys with different names."

Yeah love those grindcore solos stereolab do o_0

in his defense, he was really into spyro gyra at the time, so from where he stood...

Dad on Weezer: "Is that these nerd boys again?" On Sebadoh: "More like Lou ROLLS"

Dad on Weezer: "Is that these nerd boys again?"

dad otm

My dad, recently departed, couldn't get his head around The Beatles' Because. "Why is he crying if the sky is blue? Should be the opposite."

man i feel like i am the parents being cited in this thread. when i was young i didn't really know anything about music, i listened to what my siblings and my dad played, and i was down for it all. no, i was down for most of it: my dad was really into captain beefheart, kronos quartet, john cage, sun ra, etc, a lot of weird noisy shit that i remember PISSING me off growing up.

but his truck was full of tragically hip tapes. yeah. we bonded over that.