ILNFL Heaven: Week 7 thread

TEN @ HOU
TB @ DET
ATL @ NO
BAL @ BUF
SF @ NYG
ARI @ WAS
NE @ MIA
KC @ OAK
NYJ @ CIN
MIN @ DAL
CHI @ PHI
STL @ SEA
PIT @ DEN

who besides ilnfl is talking about the bills decamping?

TEN @ HOU houston
TB @ DET detroit
ATL @ NO new and improved orleans
BAL @ BUF beefaloes in a schockah!
SF @ NYG giants in a blowout
ARI @ WAS washington
NE @ MIA new england. don't let small children watch this game, it could scar them for life.
KC @ OAK oaklanders
NYJ @ CIN sin sin natty
MIN @ DAL dullest
CHI @ PHI phylodoughphia eagrets
STL @ SEA seattle suttons
PIT @ DEN pillsbury pittsburghs

who besides ilnfl is talking about the bills decamping?

i'll take this as a debunk and dry my tears

TEN @ HOU madden curse wiki page was updated before the bucs game was over
TB @ DET
ATL @ NO
BAL @ BUF
SF @ NYG
ARI @ WAS
NE @ MIA
KC @ OAK
NYJ @ CIN
MIN @ DAL
CHI @ PHI
STL @ SEA
PIT @ DEN

some of these seem too easy. fucking week 7.

TEN @ HOU -- ten
TB @ DET -- det
ATL @ NO -- no
BAL @ BUF -- buf
SF @ NYG -- nyg
ARI @ WAS -- was
NE @ MIA -- ne
KC @ OAK -- kc
NYJ @ CIN -- cin
MIN @ DAL -- dal
CHI @ PHI -- chi
STL @ SEA -- sea
PIT @ DEN -- pit

ILE has shaken my faith in mankind.

something werid is going on today - i havent been paying close enough attention to figure out what it is tho.

there is noooo way the bills will ever move - thats just crazy. they should however wear those awesome throwbacks all the time.

NE @ MIA

I have a feeling about this one but I'll go with Miami instead.

ha

otm re: bills throwbacks.

I can't imagine a worse uni game than the modern Bills vs Ravens.

I actually like the modern Bills unis. Those Ravens unis are inexcusably bad, though. The font for the numbers is TARDED!

TEN @ HOU houston
TB @ DET detroit
ATL @ NO SAINTS!!!!!!!!!!
BAL @ BUF buffalo in a squeaker
SF @ NYG giants
ARI @ WAS skins
NE @ MIA pats
KC @ OAK chiefs
NYJ @ CIN bungles
MIN @ DAL cowturds
CHI @ PHI nobody wins this one
STL @ SEA or this one
PIT @ DEN stillers

okay iggles over bears and seahawks over rams

I am so stoked about the Bolts getting Chris Chambers!

WAHT!

o wau!

Okay, this means the Dolphins might finally cash in on Ginn's potential.

this move assures a Dolphin victory this week

another nail in Pat Patriot's coffin

I hope they bust out the orange jerseys!

our defense is awful, dudes. i could see a mobile lemon (MIND GRAPES) and ronnie maybe giving the pats a run, but idk. there is no way our dbs can handle moss/wes/stallworth et al.

also, no home field advantage to speak of. that big upset a few years back was buoyed by the fact that it was on monday night. shit isn't the same @ 1 on a sunday.

what about weather? isn't it monsoon season or whatever in miami right now? what about heat? midges?

there actually are predictions for thunderstorms this week, but the weekend looks like 85-90 and sunny. nothing too extraordinary.

i mean the pats do need to have an off game... right?

pats had an off game against cleveland and the d was meh against dallas. they're due for a game where they fire on all cylinders.

perfect.

Yeah, it don't look good. They're due, and they're playing within the division. Sorry, Dolphins. :(

hey, what was that site that showed which games would be broadcast where?

i cannot believe the bears. they finally get a qb who seems at least consistent and now the d blows.

unbearlievable

griese isn't much of an improvement over grossman. he's still turning the ball over with regularity and his arm is considerably weaker than rex's. the d is feeling the effects of losing two members of the front four from last year and mike brown being out is killing them just as it did two years ago and as it did in the superbowl last year.

this season he's better than rex it seems, though. i actually think if rex is forced back into the starting role he might be better. "some time away" maybe helps?

griese is sacked about once every 14 pass attemps, grossman is sacked once every 9.888~ dropbacks. tom brady is one every 34.

i couldn't believe him picking apart that dallas d, btw. it was like watching montana.

but maybe better

griese seems better than rex because half of his interceptions have been decent balls that through circumstance wound up turnovers. as opposed to grossman's where even before the ball left his hand people were screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" because there was no chance of a positive outcome on the play.

lol rex's interceptions can be telegraphed when he breaks huddle

Because the 3-3 and resurgent Browns are on a bye I can now learn about other NFL teams who don't play in cleveland.

Why is Orton considered a bum in Chicago?

Jacksonville...Jaguars?

Vinny Testaverde is still playing these days!?! Are the colleges just not making QB's anymore?

Teach me.

Kevin, I actually wrote about those maps where I work because I'm a hack who finds his ideas on sports internet messageboards.

orton was considering a bum because he couldn't throw at all and the bears offense was non-existent when he was running things. it was basically thomas jones and a lot of duck passes. it tells you something that grossman's return in time for the playoffs in '05 was hailed like the second coming of joe namath or something.

Why is Orton considered a bum in Chicago?

when they signed griese last year he went into a pout and put himself in lovie's doghouse. he's been there ever since even with this summer's attempt to repair his image. he basically came out and said he didn't give a shit last year but this year he would be HAPPY to help the team anyway he could. the main problem with orton is that his arm isn't even as strong as griese's.

i read in TMQ today that testaverde has more career pass attempts than the carolina panthers franchise.

ha, yeah they brought up that vinny stat up in the Panthers game last weekend. THE WORST ANNOUNCED GAME EVER GOD

Arizona, forever doomed?

good work, p plains!

what happened to warner? i know he left the game but don't know the extent of his injury.

elbow ligaments if i'm not mistaken.

We thank you for the comment you made about our site, Kevin. We also apologize for speaking in first-person plural. It's a style rule.

i know (know meaning info gathered from the bottom line) that he supposedly torn some ligaments in his non throwing elbow...xp

Yeah, his non-throwing arm. He hopes to be back in 2 weeks or less, but he's old so no one knows. Still, with Rattay being the Cards' great white hope, you can be certain they're rehabbing Warner's elbow 23 hours a day.

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “As you might have heard by now, the Patriots are 6-0, they’ve outscored opponents by a 230-92 margin, and Tom Brady might quintuple Gus Frerotte’s QB rating before everything’s said and done. In each of those six wins, they specifically went for a meaningless touchdown just to stick it to their opponents. What does this all mean, other than we should start preparing ourselves for the first 100-point game in NFL history against the Jets in Week 15? We have our first potentially dominant team of the hard-cap era, but more importantly, we have our first true NFL villain since the Raiders in the late-’70s. People hate this team. They want them to lose. It’s like having the ‘96 Bulls back, only if everyone despised them and MJ played garbage-time minutes just to make sure every opponent lost by 20-plus points.”

i used to hate hate HATE the patriots, but i've done a complete 180 aftet they signed moss/stallworth, etc. i.e. real dudes w/ discernable personalities.

lol now they are both just slightly less likeable than bruschi. awwwww.

It’s like having the ‘96 Bulls back, only if everyone despised them and MJ played garbage-time minutes just to make sure every opponent lost by 20-plus points.

this seems a bit convoluted just to avoid referencing the GDF'n Yankees

GUISE THIS IS THE STORY WITH THE BILLS MOVING:

RALPH WILSON IS OLD. HE HAS SAID THAT HIS WIFE AND KIDS HAVE NO INTEREST IN OWNING THE BILLS WHEN HE DIES ;_; IT IS UNLIKELY THERE IS ANYONE ELSE IN BUFFALO RICH ENOUGH TO BUY THEM FROM HIM. MEANWHILE HALF OF THE FANS THAT TURN OUT ON SUNDAY ARE FROM TORONTO/ROCHESTER, BECAUSE RALPH WILSON STADIUM SEATS HALF THE POPULATION OF BUFFALO.

sorry for all the shouting. I got all this information from Tirico and co on Monday night football, but it has the ring of truth. ;_; ;_; ;_;

like I said, I can't think about it too much.

also, wtf is with ILE today--I have papers to grade; I don't have time to read all these threads!

read my summary here THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE WE SUM UP ILX CLUSTERFUCK THREADS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THEM.

it all went down in the not location specific thread. i too like you had too much work to figure out what was going on - fortunately i also have no self-disapline

At least ILNFL is a haven in stormy seas.

yeah it's been a helluva week

It's About Time Something was Done About Tom Brady

And ha, chicago kevin. Just saw your comment on the other page.

BUSHTED

The NFL says that the chinstrap rules are actually an issue of player safety and are meant to help prevent concussions

since brady doesn't get hit he doesn't really care.

And ha, chicago kevin. Just saw your comment on the other page.

yeah, i was gonna say whomever found that map deserves a raise but i figured i'd build a history of comments before saying you deserve extra scratch.

TEN @ HOU --- HOU
TB @ DET --- DET
ATL @ NO --- NO
BAL @ BUF --- BUF
SF @ NYG --- NYG
ARI @ WAS --- WAS
NE @ MIA --- LOL
KC @ OAK --- o_o KC
NYJ @ CIN --- 0_0 NYJ?
MIN @ DAL --- DAL
CHI @ PHI --- o_0 PHI
STL @ SEA --- SEA
PIT @ DEN --- PIT

And INDY over JAX

(42-46 on teh season)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/trent_green_holds_press

"In each of those six wins, they specifically went for a meaningless touchdown just to stick it to their opponents."

Yeah, what the fuck with this by the way? The last Dallas touchdown was just some pissy bullshit.

Yeah, what the fuck with this by the way? The last Dallas touchdown was just some pissy bullshit.

that was a fuck you to wade phillips for saying that the super bowl victories were tainted. FUCK YOU WADE, WAY TO GIVE THE OPPONENT SOMETHING TO PLAY FOR. fucking douchebag should have focused on getting his own team to play. which they obviously were not.

I've told this story before I bet but this is my favorite Belichick "running up the score" story. In 1995 when he coached the Browns they were losing 31-10 to San Diego and on the LAST PLAY OF THE GAME he decided to kick a 45 yard field goal to make the final score 31-13. Nobody could believe their eyes. It was a perfect moment that I will never forget.

haha belicheck is so awesome i have no idea why everyone doesnt just love him to pieces

what were the pats supposed to do on fourth down from the one? kick a field goal? kneel on it and give the ball back? if dallas didn't want the pats to score they could've stopped the practice squad running back from going up the gut.

xpost- seriously.

I'm on the fence on that play. That last TD was with 0:19 and a 14 point lead, so yeah, they could have safely taken a knee and won the game. But Dallas could have gotten within 7 with a crazy play, and I can see NE not wanting to let that happen.

if they'd taken a knee they would have given the ball back to dallas, time stops on a change of possession. i think that would be more insulting than giving dallas a chance to TAKE the ball rather than GIVING it to them.

running the score up is all fine and good in a professional sports league says i - if you didnt want the score all run up on yr ass then maybe you shouldve tried winning

i mean soooooory t.o. did yr feeeeeelings get hurted

I think belichick is just one of those coaches you can only think is awesome if he's coaching your team? I will admit to a grudging respect for his not-giving-a-fuck-ness. and he's obv. smart. that doesn't make it okay to be the devil, though.

(I like trying to score until the clock runs out, though. belichick otm in that regard.)

I forgot to mention in my story upthread that Belichick CALLED A TIMEOUT in order to kick that field goal, otherwise the game would've been over.

He is so awesomely hatable that I lovingly loathe him.

yeah i mean that sort of special villainous love

i think this is my fave onion sports story - http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dan_marino_hosts_hour_long_hbo

Tennessee - Even if the Titans have to go with Kerry Collins, they are only giving up an impressive 62 yards a game on the ground.

Tampa - It is hard to believe that Detroit is the favorite in this game. I suppose it could be close.

NE- Yeah right Miami will beat them.

NYG- 49ers have not proven to be able to score.

Baltimore - The Ravens are pretty ugly but are consistently so. I would not be suprised though if Buffalo won.

Redskins - Arizona is losing a QB a week.

KC - I want to go with Oakland, but I think KC's defense will pull it out.

Cinci - Boy is this a battle of the uglies.

Philly - The Eagles don't impress me, but they are at home and the Bears defense has gotten shaky.

Seattle - The Seahawks have gotten their clocks cleaned in the last two weeks, but it is hard to pick the RAMS although they are overdue to win a game.

Dallas - I could believe that the Cowboys end up losing a hangover game, but not enough to pick against them at home.

Steelers - Denver is coming off a bye, but the Steelers seem for real even with the fluky loss to the Cards.

Indy - J-ville plays the Colts really tough, the game has been really physicial the last couple of years. If the Jags can run the ball down Indy's throat, they have a shot.

picking all the overs this week.

If this was any other team Bill Simmons would have already written 10,000 words on how someone should "accidentally" break Tom Brady's leg to teach the coach a lesson about running up the score.

bill simmons has already written 10,000 words defending running up the score in a boston sports guy supports the patriots shockah.

i like dude.

he's kind of become a self-parody w/ dated pop culture refs, but he knows his shit.

NO's next 5 games:

Atlanta
at San Francisco
Jacksonville
St. Louis
at Houston

they could be looking @ 6-4/5-5 i.e. def back in the playof/division title hunt.

i don't dig him nearly as much as i did maybe 5 years ago. rarely funny anymore and if you're going to be an apologist you need to have something to make me think you aren't completely full of shit.

It would be nice if they published articles by people who were unapologetically fans of other teams, not just Boston teams. I guess there's Henry Abbott on basketball, but he's much, much more objective than Simmons. Olney has his Vandy plugs, but that's about it. As it stands, it just makes the site feel even more like the Yankees/Sox report than it already does.

yeah i'm pretty sick of simmons at this point, his whole "this belichick/mangina story is like frasier crane and diane chambers on cheers after she dumped him, such tension and simmering weirdness!" or whatever the hell crap he'll come up with next.

TEN @ HOU --- Vince is a game time call. If he's out, it's up to the defense. Tenn
TB @ DET --- I really have no idea here. Tampa
ATL @ NO --- NO will win this easily if the line plays well and Reggie doesn't dance around behind the line of scrimmage like a ballerina.
BAL @ BUF --- OMFG, how I hate the Ravens. The Balts
SF @ NYG --- New Yawk
ARI @ WAS --- Skins
NE @ MIA --- It's too bad the NFL doesn't have a mercy rule. NE
KC @ OAK --- Oakland
NYJ @ CIN --- Cincy wins one. The Jet's defense is even worse than the Bungles.
MIN @ DAL --- Peterson makes it interesting for a quarter. Boys
CHI @ PHI --- Philly
STL @ SEA --- As was mentioned in another thread, the Hacks are like a shot fighter. The offensive line is just average at best, Alexander looks like another "Curse of 370" victim, and Hasselbeck is in decline. Lucky for them they're playing a team where most of the good offensive player are gone. Hacks
PIT @ DEN --- Pittsburgers
IND @ JAX --- Garrard is due for a few interceptions. Indy

minnesota dallas this week, eh?

unless you live in missouri.

Or Cincinnati.

2 games this week w/winning teams and one of them is detroit v tampa meh

monday nite is sweet tho

life inside the green zone is rough

i'm actually disappointed to be in a blue state instead of a red state because i'd sure as hell rather watch minnesota's adrian peterson rather than chicago's adrian peterson.

c'mon bills! 9-0!

patriots are going to score 60 pts

I love the fact that Jacksonville is always the team Indy has to look out for. Makes no damn sense, but it happens like that anyway.

brady now has as many tds this year as he did last year.

god-damn!

60 by teh half i meant

ouch. i'm in class and just following via si.com but this one has to be ugly

who else wants to brainstorm week 8 thread titles:

GIANT DOLPHINS invade London!

seriously, have brady, belichick, moss, etc. sold their souls to the devil or something? it's getting kind of frightening.

also, i want gumble to call him "chet lemon" again.

2 incomplete passes, brady is falling apart

patriots are doing ok i guess

holy fuck the fake spike!!!

wow if that had worked...

hi, 5 touchdowns IN THE FIRST HALF.

fucking brady's gonna wind up with 8 touchdowns before they pull him.

it's like watching a child kill ants with a magnifying glass.
"unique challenges"
Tom Brady has 39 fantasy points at the half.

holy wow!!!

holy shit pats

vv glad he is my qb

LOL si.com fan blog comments

02:28 | Pats-Colts might have an 80 o/u | Belichick is better than you

02:28 | Tom Brady Versus Godzilla...who wins? | IndyBrian

02:29 | Mechazilla or regular Zilla? | rikki

02:30 | 3 way battle royale, mecha godzilla versus godzilla versus tom brady with mothra as special referee | IndyBrian

02:31 | That's tough because I think Brady can take regular but not the Mecha. If he lays back and lets the other two beat each other up first he has an outside shot. | rikki

02:32 | i think bellichick gets in with a steel chair to mecha, and brady wins | IndyBrian

02:33 | i think brady should go long to Mothra in that scenario. heh | joanofclark

they scored a td on every possession in the 1st half

ha just saw the highlights - both moss tds were jump balls thrown into double coverage like fuck it

wait, i saw them punt at least once i swear

o yr right 1 punt in there

Most Points, Game
72 Washington vs. N.Y. Giants, Nov. 27, 1966

they scored a td on every possession in the 1st half

-- jhøshea, Sunday, October 21, 2007 1:37 PM (Sunday, October 21, 2007 1:37 PM) Bookmark Link

plus a special teams td when miami was trying to kick away from ellis hobbs and the fucking up man took it back 77 yards for a touchdown.

hah, the redskins.. they had the worst loss ever too, didn't they? waaaay back in the early part of the century

fuck, i'm going against brady in my other league. he's got 33 points in our scoring system and has 34 points more than my qb as jason campbell is throwing up a -1 so far.

uminyora!

washington travels to foxboro next week right?

hey yeah - The two teams would meet again in the 1940 Championship, and the Bears handed the Redskins the most lopsided defeat in NFL history, 73-0.

I am so ambivalent about next week.. Redskins are really my team, but damn

did anyone see/can anyone find the options espn had for nicknaming the pats/fins game? I know one was something like the battle with out a porpoise...all were decently lol

I need a new team.

defend the indefensible: PATS

Ah, thanks for reminding me, I hearts the Pats!

Dumbass Fox sideline guy just called Anthony Anderson "Ashley" to his face and the rest of the world, twice.

google searching porpoise as a pun is less fun that i thought it would be

bills wtf you have this game won and now you want to lose it!

brady is the worst qb in the league right now. give me Tim Rattay

brady is on the bench, only playing three quarters today.

Dolphins coming back!

lol cassel

brady does 4th qtr walk on cameo for td #6.

bills wtf you have this game won and now you want to lose it!

cf. DEN@BUF 2007, DAL@BUF 2007...

hey, they're switching me to buffalo!! ;_;

T. Brady 21/25 354 6

0

thank god tenn was getting 1.5 pts w/ the spread used in my pool!

also, sage rosefelds wtf?

The end of that Titans/Texans game was mad!

Also, Rob Bironas...awesome.

wuz just gonna say brronis = maj fantasy impact

I am obv. glad the Bills won but the offensive playcalling is totally ridiculous.

also, Randy Moss is ridiculous.

"seriously, have brady, belichick, moss, etc. sold their souls to the devil or something? it's getting kind of frightening."

Belichick has a soul?

Those Moss TDs were also complete madness.

I wish we would have gotten that crazy Titans/Texans game here instead of the boredom that was Giants/49ers.

I did get to see the odd ending of the Cards/Redskins game. Ken Whisenhunt's odd ball two point conversion call at the end of the game needs to go into the coach thinking a bit too much file.

oh, chadpaws

;_; ;_;

Those Moss TDs were also complete madness.

the second jump ball he caught between his shoulder pad and his forearm, he didn't even bother using his hands. that fake spike where he was out of bounds he caught with one outstretched hand. he's unbelievable.

lol at the complete denver/pitt apathy.

this game 2nite im pretty psyched for

(except im supposed to go to a birthday but i dont wanna)

no cable + exactly ninety five cents in cash = not watching the game tonight.

I think that spreading-hands gesture Moss made after his first TD yesterday was some sort of goatse.cx reference.

http://cdn.channel.aol.com/aolnews_photos/09/03/20050110010809990015

^top 5 celebration of all time.

top 1 probably.

I think that spreading-hands gesture Moss made after his first TD yesterday was some sort of goatse.cx reference.

i been wondering abt this - welker did it last week (and yes i thought of goatse too - ugh internet so yucky)

I didn't see the Pittsburgh-Denver game. What happened? I thought the Steelers were going to trounce them.