Legitimate space monkey poll

resisted the urge to add a "John Terry is a cunt" option in case it skewed the results

I've read the main story but what's all the talk about the 'whole' story?

therein lies the mystery?

Roy can rest easy at night, Nick Clegg is on his side

Not racist, not sacked. Story is a fucking appalling attempt by the gutterpress shitrags to undermine a man who doesn't pander to them

seeing some msgboard stuff that he just said "feed the monkey" out of context and only explained it after but idk what twitter they originally got it off

reminds me of the time a kid i was working with told his mom i'd called him an arsehole because he misheard me chanting "boring boring Arsenal" during a game of footy

We definitely need the Yank idiot contingent itt, cd be bottle opener II: the bricksmashing

have now got visions of the team trooping into the dressing room, sitting down, and the first thing Hodgson says is "FEED THE MONKEY" as he nods at Townsend. and as the jaws drop and he hears the gasp he looks round at the squad and says it again...until after a couple of minutes the penny drops and he fills in the rest of the joke

Context is fwank running to unka arry

also resisted the urge to add a "Lampard is a cunt" option

You really have turned it all around huh :D

not racist, sacked; replaced with spiv; country somehow bankrupted as result

there was a teacher at my prep school who kept me and my friends behind for an hour in total silence because one of us had supposedly used an unpleasant word, probably because she was old, thick and paranoid, and we couldn't even argue she had misheard something because nobody had even uttered a word that sounded like it

this quixotic crusade against bullying and hate speech was all the worse because she liked to isolate kids and enlist the rest of the class in ridiculing them, not for misbehaviour but just doing or being anything she didn't approve of

i hope the worthless rabid cunt has a lonely and unpleasant death if she isn't dead already

the relationship between hodgson and the gutter press is roughly analogous, save for the fact that hodgson is an honourable man and we were mostly horrible little shits apart from that one miscarriage of justice

and the gutter press' lonely and unpleasant death is sadly a dream unfulfilled. for now.

http://i.imgur.com/FLwti7n.jpg

If the press becomes untenable and slowly falls apart, I wonder what will replace it

dystopian corporate think-tanks employing freelance reporters to blog the 'right' news?

glorious free-for-all twittertopia?

your thoughts

My initial reaction was 'nothing to see here' - I heard that joke decades ago and it's obviously not racist. In fact, it's so obviously not racist that only "seeing some msgboard stuff that he just said "feed the monkey" out of context and only explained it after" (or something similar) would explain the sense that there were any grounds for Fat Frank an unidentified player to leak a complaint about it. But then there's this: http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rpts9r (written before this happened).

ah some prime tittle-tattle. very enlightening

Isnt the guardian already a dystopian thinkthank employing bloggers to retweet the 'right' news?

Which outwardly respectable, very famous, and prominent ILX poster is this about? "******** is apparently a miserable cunt who is starting to let his guard down a little online, to the bemusement of his moderators. He reserves a particular distaste for fun. It is, however, seen as a delicious irony that he has a sock based in ****** who's widely-beloved. The ILX poster isn't aware of the sock's appeal..."

(written before this happened) contains multitudes of biddable stupidity

a wealthy white celebrity is going to die of so-called 'natural causes' within the next six weeks, please note the timestamp when you eventually read this post seymour hersh

as much as this is all faintly ludicrous, hodgson is a magnet for this type of hoof in mouth fuck-up.

"You would have to go a long way to find somebody who is less racist than me," said Hodgson

You'd have to go abroad to find someone who is less racist than me, said Hodgson.

"If there's a less racist man than me, I've yet to meet his kind in Britain," Hodgson bristled.

'bristled' only reinforces his windinthewillowiness

The first quote is real. He is a disaster once he starts talking. Like this is prob one of the reasons he's skirted around top jobs for so long. He's like a subtly sketched 80s sitcom character.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

By Jamie Redknapp

Here’s what Roy Hodgson was trying to say. ‘Get the ball to Andros. He’s tearing apart their left back. He’s our match winner — so flood him with the ball.’

I can’t imagine why he didn’t just say that. Keep it simple. Use the time to get clear messages across.

But, leading 1-0 and with adrenalin and energy pumping, he tried a complicated and confusing analogy about monkeys in space. And here we are with the England manager having to say sorry.

refreshing to read an unbiased take on the incident

‘I admit that some of the younger players may not have understood the reference to the monkey in space. They may not have heard the expression before but that’s a generational thing.

‘I meant “give the ball to the player who can make things happen”. There was no other connotation, and no offence was taken by any of the players.'

'reference/expression' pretty much proves it. silly old bugger

pretty much proves.... what?

visions of the team trooping into the dressing room, sitting down, and the first thing Hodgson says is "FEED THE MONKEY" as he nods at Townsend. and as the jaws drop and he hears the gasp he looks round at the squad and says it again...until after a couple of minutes the penny drops and he fills in the rest of the joke

think it's even better if you leave in 'the monkey in space' tbh

could be, that could well be how it went down

One too many asterisks in that tittle-tattle for it to be Roy

not for arry though

Wayne Rooney, who argued Hodgson had “done nothing wrong”, proves an increasingly mature voice on England matters, a real leader off the field as well as on. Thank heavens for Rooney. He has pointed the nation towards Brazil and towards common sense in 36 hours.

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenryyyyyyyyyyy winteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Roy out, Roo in

can't be arry, the tweet implied that nobody would believe it of whoever it is

'To be honest it’s really annoying that something such as this should see the light of day,’ said Rooney. ‘All the lads know what type of guy Roy is and to try and pin some form of label on him is absolutely ridiculous.'

Wayne Rooney, who argued Hodgson had “done nothing wrong”,

he actually said "he done nothing wrong". can people stop correcting his cave troll speech?

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenryyyyyyyyyyy winteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

winter is such a self-important bore. i had to unfollow him on twitter as he liveblogs every game with shit like "1-0 newcastle, remy. spurs need goal to get back into this." or "chance for cabaye. good effort. newcastle lively now." - like he imagines you're marooned in space and he's the only source of news.

marooned where

ma·rooned, ma·roon·ing, ma·roons
1. To put ashore on a deserted island or coast and intentionally abandon.
2. To abandon or isolate with little hope of ready rescue or escape:

Ma-roo-ned in space with andros townsend

Ah I see where you were going. Stand down, dictionary.com.

there's worse winter guff in the same piece wrt the leaker but i lost the will to live via c&p

there is something kind of amazing about (a) "the feel good factor" being such a key meme with the england team and (b) it being destroyed periodically by sleazy race/sex rows.

What are the origins of "the feel good factor"

http://cdn.theweek.co.uk/sites/theweek/files/styles/theweek_article_main_image/public/sun-on-sunday.jpg

xp

they're crap and the press has to find some way of kidding themselves they're not

whereas really they should feel bad because they are bad

voted "not racist, getting sacked" in the end, just cos i can imagine certain people lobbying hard behind the scenes to unsettle Woy over the next couple months, but the favourite is clearly "not racist, not getting sacked", i just wanted my go at whipping up hysteria

Lets all feel great about r football team qualify for the World Cup-then let the media try destroy that feel good feeling!!

he's no gary neville, that's for sure.

http://www.51allout.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Father-Ted-not-a-racist.jpeg

monkeys - a great bunch of lads

"You would have to go a long way to find somebody who is less racist than me," said Hodgson

I still can't believe he said this.

Did he mean abroad?

“Since I’ve made my England debut there’s always been criticism from the outside"

stevie g basking in the post-match feelgood factor that has now been RUINED

maybe if there'd been more criticism from the inside you wouldn't be so shit

England is all about the feelbad factor, come on. When the players feel giddy as larks, terrible scenes ensue.

'Sir Alf makes me feel like I'm walking on air', thought Bobby as he sashayed towards the hotel gift shop.

it's like those transformers where you stick a load of them together to make one big body, except with england it's sulky children all jammed into each other to form one whole, and then as soon as they win and the robot totters onto its feet and takes a few steps, everyone is all on about the "feel good factor", before it tumbles over after a couple of steps.

I'm reminded of the parable of the woman with the jar of meal. She makes a loaf and it never runs out. She makes a cake and it never runs out. She makes another loaf and it never runs out. Then she goes to make another cake and it does run out, so the townspeople go to the priest and kill him because he ruined the feelgood factor with his shitty sermons.

there is a loaf that never runs out #connexions

preferred the parable of the constructicons tbh but fair dos

Where is our Roy? Ahhhh, we've lost our Roy!

My mp3 shuffle had about 10,000 songs to choose from and just went for XTC's The Smartest Monkeys

tbf we need to know how many songs about monkeys you've got on there

and the context for each of them

Don't answer that imago

It has now opted for Gastr Del Sol's Bauchredner, via Slick Rick telling me to treat her like a prostitute (skipped during second verse for abject misogyny). What does this all mean??

how admirable that you are disgusted by your own record collection

My brother gave me loads of hip-hop and I've grown to quite admire Rock's transpontine vocal mannerisms. He's chill about you ripping his shit coz he's The Ruler. Can't be riding with the woman-hatin' though

well that's Slick Rick told

Slock Rock

voted "misogynist, not getting sacked"

the fuck is this doin on ilf u cunts

I believe we're also missing the crucial element of 'fuck The Sun' in this thread.

No we're not!

ya there is that added fun aspect if studge or sterling turn out to be the leaker

Apparently the player in question/a member of his family went straight to the Scottish Sun about this, which is something you'd only do if a) you were worried the English Sun wouldn't print it, or b) you were Fraser Forster.

bitter that Hodgson has denied him his rightful shot at the no 1 shirt, no doubt

This witch-hunt is almost as distasteful as the anti-Hodgson guff. Shall we not wait?

witch-hunting is most of the fun

if anything this thread has been v. circumspect

witch-hunt nothing like as distasteful tbh

xps England not beloved at LFC, so talking to The Sun would be mitigated

This witch-hunt is almost as distasteful as the anti-Hodgson guff. Shall we not wait?

think he deserves guff tbh.

christ you Poolers know your way around a grudge dontcha

this episode highlights what thick selfaggrandizing cunts piara powar and peter herbert are

It's not a grudge, it's just v clear Roy is terrible with the media. He's like a stereotypical sitcom bumbler.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

move along, nothing to see here

one of us will not be fooled so easily