You are not a short order cook. Kids can live a long time without food. Which isn't to say starve them, but you MUST build good eating habits early. They all go through testing phases, but a good rule of thumb is that they don't know whether or not they really like it until they've tried it at least 8 times. You just have to be really patient and dilligent, especially around 18 months when they really start testing their wits against you. You have the right idea, just follow through with it. IT SUCKS, yes, but it will work out much better in the end.
For a long time, we had what I liked to call "prison dessert" at our house. When my kids were about 2, if they wouldn't eat the main course they would get "prison dessert", which was, of course, a piece of whole wheat bread and a water chaser. I did this for six months thinking it would be motivation but after awhile, they would just look at the entree and yell, "I want prison dessert." The whole experiment ended when they said this at a restaurant, and a bunch of shocked people heard it. After that, my wife declared that they would be eating what's on their plate or they would eat nothing. A night or two of going to bed hungry and screaming, and they were on the program.
One thing you can try is ask your kids to help you with the menu. Tell them if they do a good job eating then they can pick the next night's meal or elements of the meal or help plan the week or whatever.
Also, if there are certain meals that they eat well (hopefully breakfast!) then make sure they load up on a variety of foods at that sitting. Some kids (and people!) are hungrier at different times of the day, or sometimes they're in a better (willing) mood at different times of day. Capitalize on those times to put variety into the menu.
The headlock trick doesn't work but I have tried that.
― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 3 February 2006 12:44 (eighteen years ago) link
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 3 February 2006 12:47 (eighteen years ago) link
― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 3 February 2006 13:05 (eighteen years ago) link
Nathalie: hope it made some sort of sense!
― NickB (NickB), Friday, 3 February 2006 13:15 (eighteen years ago) link
― truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 3 February 2006 13:52 (eighteen years ago) link
I used to love blood-sausages until I asked my dad what it was made of. Yes, I was an idiot. I mean blood sausages, did I even need to ask? Of course. My dad replied:"Pig's blood of course." I had the fork halfway between my mouth and my plate. It never reached my mouth. I decided I hated blood-sausages as much as I had once liked them. Namely a lot.
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 3 February 2006 13:59 (eighteen years ago) link
I'm wondering if other parents here would like to share their "tricks" for encouraging good behavior. My daughter was refusing to brush her teeth for a while, so I started saying, "I wonder if toothpaste will turn your teeth purple and sparkly?" and then she got really excited to find out. And even when she sees there's no change, she gets to laugh at papa for thinking such crazy thoughts. Usually she just forgets about it because once she starts brushing, she likes it.
I've done a similar thing with clipping her nails, which she doesn't like. I tell her that if we clip her nails we can go into the backyard and plant the clippings to see if a fingernail tree will grow, and then it becomes no problem. I'm careful never to promise that such a tree will grow, but use the language of an experiment. So far it's worked wonders, and if anybody else has any such tricks, I'd be happy to hear them.
― Nemo (JND), Friday, 3 February 2006 14:29 (eighteen years ago) link
Oh, I suppose they'll just cross reference it with this now. No more Time Team.
― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 3 February 2006 14:41 (eighteen years ago) link
Much better than what my friends had to endure: their room turned into a veritable prison cell after they had been caught stealing. Their mom decided they needed to serve time. Their room was unheated in the middle of winter (with a broken window) and they got water and bread for food. It was pushed into the room on a plate. :-(
Seeing abuse didn't fuck me up like my friends obviously did, but god damn it made me very sad to see my friends treated that way.
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 3 February 2006 15:31 (eighteen years ago) link
We're trying to feed him organic food as much as possible, and have pretty much banned anything with high-fructose corn syrup or hydrogenated oils from our household.
― Douglas (Douglas), Friday, 3 February 2006 16:00 (eighteen years ago) link
hahah!
pink for a second I thought you were going to show us pictures of something else up there.
― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 3 February 2006 16:28 (eighteen years ago) link
― Panther Pink (Pinkpanther), Friday, 3 February 2006 16:44 (eighteen years ago) link
This is just making me think of "WHERE'S! MY! HASENPFEFFER!?!?"
― NickB (NickB), Friday, 3 February 2006 16:55 (eighteen years ago) link
and actually, there's a great selfish payoff to this: it's easier to deal with kids when they will eat anything. As they grow older, meals can be a great source of tension, especially when the afternoon nap is cut off because your kids are tired from a long day and don't have the patience to choke down that new recipe you're trying.
I might add that the difference in nutrition in high-fructose corn syrup and regular fructose is not much, so unless you're using fructose as a delivery system for other nutrients, orange juice is not a whole lot better than 16 oz of Sprite.
― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 3 February 2006 17:00 (eighteen years ago) link
but even canned OJ has vitamin C, no?
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 3 February 2006 21:32 (eighteen years ago) link
― teeny (teeny), Friday, 3 February 2006 21:44 (eighteen years ago) link
― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 February 2006 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link
haha, no! Given the course of the thread then I thought ladies were going to start baring their baby accessories.
i want a baby now!
― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 3 February 2006 22:10 (eighteen years ago) link
Any tips for dealing with teething, oh parental gurus?
― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Sunday, 5 February 2006 12:55 (eighteen years ago) link
― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 5 February 2006 13:41 (eighteen years ago) link
― m coleman (lovebug starski), Sunday, 5 February 2006 13:51 (eighteen years ago) link
PJ Miller, I saw some rubber stick (or whatever you call it) for teething. I don't know how or if it works though.
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Sunday, 5 February 2006 14:38 (eighteen years ago) link
― Andy_K (Andy_K), Sunday, 5 February 2006 15:11 (eighteen years ago) link
― Andy_K (Andy_K), Sunday, 5 February 2006 15:23 (eighteen years ago) link
― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Sunday, 5 February 2006 17:03 (eighteen years ago) link
― Douglas (Douglas), Sunday, 5 February 2006 17:30 (eighteen years ago) link
I will now pass you over to the person who left the packet of peas open in the freezer, she has something she wants to say to you all:
Come along, dear, you're on...
It's not my fault. The probability of Peter going to the fridge to get some frozen peas is less than zero, therefore leaving an open bag of peas is really safe in this house. Next time you think of giving Peter some advice involving the manipulation of liquids or anything droppable, bear in mind that he is very, VERY clumsy and he'll certainly drop it. So please, think twice next time.
― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Sunday, 5 February 2006 19:58 (eighteen years ago) link
Z is increasingly interested in feeding himself, which is on balance a good thing but oh the mess. yesterday he managed to spoon about two gulps of chicken-broccoli casserole into his mouth before dropping the spoon and going straight in with his hands. i kept popping spoonfuls in myself in between his fistfuls, and somehow it all added up to him actually eating a meal, but it required extensive cleanup efforts afterward -- of him, me, my wife, the chair, the bib, the floor...
― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Sunday, 5 February 2006 20:42 (eighteen years ago) link
― don weiner (don weiner), Sunday, 5 February 2006 21:27 (eighteen years ago) link
Seriously.
― don weiner (don weiner), Sunday, 5 February 2006 21:28 (eighteen years ago) link
What?
*is chased into bonfire*
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 5 February 2006 21:29 (eighteen years ago) link
― don weiner (don weiner), Sunday, 5 February 2006 21:29 (eighteen years ago) link
― don weiner (don weiner), Sunday, 5 February 2006 21:31 (eighteen years ago) link
Today we're moving house (I'm typing this on the laptop in the bathroom). Yesterday we did a solid 17-hr packing and cleaning frenzy (we told ourselves when we went to bed on Saturday night that we were 98% of the way there; quite a last 2%); crashed out on the futon in the living room at 1am. At 3:15 Ava starts screaming; she hadn't had a really bad teething night for a couple of weeks but on this occasion she keeps going until 4:30 or so.
Our alarm goes off at 6:30 (we expect the movers at 7:45 and have a load of stuff to do before they arrive). They actually get here at 8:50 (but we're still not quite ready). Our babysitter* is running late and arrives at 11:00, so that's four hours of almost continuously holding the babe (nowhere to sit, nowhere for her to safely run about). I ache all over. Ava has been very high-maintenance; joyous in her own way but incredibly LOUD.
(* - first time we've ever had one; it's one of the neighbourhood mums)
Final box count is 195. Looking round these emptying rooms I realise what we're giving up. New place better be as good as I remember.
Ava is being taken to watch a local U-15s rugby match with Ruby. The mind boggles.
― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 6 February 2006 11:23 (eighteen years ago) link
― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Monday, 6 February 2006 12:19 (eighteen years ago) link
I managed to let my husband sleep for eight hours straight this night. Hurrah! I'm happy for him. He definitely needed it. I do too, but hey I have breastfeeding to do.
I bought a breastpump today. They should have told me I need a machine to sterilize (?) the stuff. Also a machine to warm up the milk. I'm beginning to understand why breastfeeding is so easy; but then I needed the pump because I can't keep breastfeeding forever. :-(
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 6 February 2006 13:12 (eighteen years ago) link
― don weiner (don weiner), Monday, 6 February 2006 13:20 (eighteen years ago) link
― misshajim (strand), Monday, 6 February 2006 13:52 (eighteen years ago) link
― misshajim (strand), Monday, 6 February 2006 14:08 (eighteen years ago) link
http://static.flickr.com/11/96251660_01966e66a2.jpg
― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 07:57 (eighteen years ago) link
Did you survive the move, Michael?
(I expect an answer in six weeks or so.)
― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 07:58 (eighteen years ago) link
how is the diaper rash nathalie? are you using any ointment to treat it? I find that I have to use some ointment every time I change a diaper just to prevent diaper rash. I don't know the brand names in europe but there are a few kinds here, Desitin (with zinc oxide and cod fish oil) is probably most effective at getting rid of it but it is so stinky that I don't use it unless he actually has a rash. I usually use vitamin A&D ointment to put a layer of grease between his rump and the diaper (and of course I'm changing as soon as possible after the diaper gets wet). He never seemed much bothered by a bit of diaper rash but he never had a bad case.
In a month or so, maybe sooner, you'll get your first smiles from your girl and it'll be so nice!
Recent developmental leaps for my boy (two months old on thursday): Found his fist, can consistently bring it to his mouth to suck, holding his head up reasonably well if he tries, can take a rattle from my hand and shake it!
― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 13:57 (eighteen years ago) link
― Andy_K (Andy_K), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 14:02 (eighteen years ago) link
― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 14:11 (eighteen years ago) link
It's not that severe. We use iosine (or sth like that) which is CRAP as it leaves red stains. Grrr. On top of that we use Daktazin. Zinc cream isn't enough.
We, Ophelia and I, went to Kind&Gezin today: She's now 57 cm and well over 4 kilo 500 grams! She's in the 10 percent bracket! She's doing pretty well actually. She already follows us: watches us move from one side to the next. She also hold her head up pretty well. Sadly she also sucks her finger if she's hungry. Some days are pretty good: no crying and waking up every two hours for a good feed, but other days she howls like tomorrow (and milk) will never come. :-)
From tomorrow I'll try start pumping milk. It's quite complex: not as easy as getting yer tit out. hah! But it'll be necessary in a few weeks when the shop will (hopefully) get busier.
― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 14:22 (eighteen years ago) link
xpost
― m coleman (lovebug starski), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 14:24 (eighteen years ago) link
― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 14:41 (eighteen years ago) link
I could just kill my brother in law sometimes the way he is screwing up my nephew's head. He's been trying to reason with the child since he was a baby, and he's such a pushover that as soon as the boy starts crying from being caught and punished, bro-in-law is immediately picking him up and hugging and comforting him, "Aw, it's okay, you just did a bad thing, it's okay, don't cry." Does he not realize what's coming out of his mouth? YOU DID SOMETHING BAD = IT'S OKAY.
― pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 14:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― don weiner (don weiner), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 14:48 (eighteen years ago) link
if he pinches until you yell, the time to grab his hand and calmly and coolly say "Don't you EVER pinch me again. Don't you ever pinch ANYONE again" is before it hurts. He's testing his limits, and the limit for hurting, breaking and teasing needs to be zero, not when somebody starts crying.
yes, and that's how he's treated. unfortunately, he doesn't stop. that's the $64k question, really - why?
― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 14:50 (eighteen years ago) link