ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

When she's about 3 months old I'd try putting her in another room. With both our kids, it seemed like being able to smell/see us actually meant "hey, I have access to that sweet, sweet milk whenever I want, all I gotta do is ask!" Once we put them in another room, sleeping through the night followed quickly after. Who knows of course. But it's worth a shot. Plus when they cried it was easier to ignore them. And if you CAN ignore them for a few minutes AND they get back to sleep by themselves that's like YAHTZEE.

xpost haha we never have had much of a bedtime routine. We barely even bathe them, we're savages. I guess now L brushes his teeth and pees but that's about it. Oh and two books, usually.

fwiw we were advised to put K down sleepy but not asleep so she can "learn" to fall asleep in the crib and doesn't "wake up confused" or something. Maybe it was too early for that stuff to matter.

I think it's too early, but others don't. Depends on the baby too. Molly does wake up unhappy most of the time but I just run up and feed her and she settles in minutes.

In a few years you'll look back at all the angst sleep, or lack of it, brought and laugh. The pain doesn't last forever!

we did cry it out. it was rough at first listening to her cry for half an hour (sometimes longer) after putting her to sleep. now tho we do bedtime routine and even if she doesn't seem tired, or if it's in an unfamiliar location/new bed, or if the time is even an hour off, she goes to sleep immediately. the power of bedtime routine!

Yeah I have heard that stuff too and I can see the logic - they are actually doing the falling-to-sleep themselves, with no contact from a parent - but honestly if I can get P to sleep on my shoulder I am gonna do it. How confused can a baby really be? Their whole life is confusion. You wake up, you're in a bed instead of on a shoulder. OK I'm in a bed. Honestly i think it's got to be just as important to learn how to deal with the earth-shaking confusion of BEING IN A BED as anything else

now that I think about it in the first year of #1's life we often got her to sleep by going for a car ride in the evening, in those halcyon $1 a gallon gas days. but getting her inside was a pain so to try to split the atom we started placing her car seat in the crib & setting her to sleep in it. it worked pretty well! coupled with a tactic of having me sit with her in the bedroom whilst she sat in the car seat in the crib so that she knew we were there, but didn't interact with her, & didn't smell like mama/milk to wake up sleepy tummies. things got better! then we moved across the country & had another kid & all was different again.

Wow, you just reminded me that my mom says they had to drive me around the block to get me to sleep during my first year. I guess I'd cry and cry and cry until they started the car and then BAM, out like a light.

yes! that's how my first girl was. she still loves riding in the car, a decade later.

one thing that August seems to love and helps he to sleep is putting a warm diaper on her, like straight from the dryer, she gets this big eyes expression, smiles and little and then her eyes just slowly close and then she's out.

I've definitely heard the car thing before wrt a couple of diff babies. Something about the motion and the noise, I guess.

I heard this month or weeks Time Magazine(is it weekly or monthly I dunno) is about attachment parenting, has anyone read it?

I recommend that everyone refrain from reading Time magazine in general

lol that Time Mag cover story. i've probably had a dozen conversations with other parents about it over the last week or so. consensus is that it's ridiculous.

"Is this insanely hot 26-year-old mom going TOO FAR?"

i think ppl generally feel like live + let live. if you want to nurse your kid until he's three that's your prerogative but no one is a bad parent for not doing that.

Hay there fellow parents, here's something to not look forward to -- I got home from running errands a while ago and the local PD had pulled my daughter over in front of our house.

I wish that were true xp, but I hear a lot of people, both parents and non-parents, making pretty judgmental claims both ways (attachment parents are "preventing their children from becoming independent," non-attachment parents are "abusing" and "neglecting" their children, etc.)

people have opinions about parenting, this is why I never talk about parenting except on here

i'll give wmc another hour before I start hounding him for details.

hahaha, typing it up now.

Decided not to write it all up in detail. Short version: expired car tag. But when the cop called the license plate in, they said the tag payment was up to date, so he said "no prob, on your way with you then."

Ten minutes after we got in the house, she sheepishly comes into my office with the car tag sticker I had given her a year ago and told her to put on her license plate. I said "did you get the shit scared out of you?" "Yeah..." "Good deal."

Tera and I have discovered people have very strong opinions about parenting and even strangers aren't afraid to tell you what they think. Like in the hospital Tera had august sleeping on her chest, skin to skin(we feel it's very important esp at the stage) and almost a few nurses told her, you can do that all the time, you're going to spoil her, on nurse said you shouldn't be doing that at all. In the clinic, one nurse saw how we handled August and how we cried when she was crying and the nurse kept saying "oh you guys are first time parents" like with more children you care less?? And I don't even want to start with what my own family has told us. But we are learning to just listen to what people say and smile and go on with what we are doing. We love August so much and it's been the best few weeks of our life since she was born, we call it our babymoon.

oh my god you can't spoil a newborn wtf is wrong with ppl??

Well you don't care any less for your child if you don't cry when they cry, as long as you're taking care of whatever it is they're crying about.

Mordy and PP both otm.

people have (dumb) opinions about parenting

even people who are parents most likely only have the experience of parenting one to three children, which is a pretty small sample size. the most experienced have parented like maybe 12 kids? still a pretty small sample size. basically no one knows anything.

one thing that August seems to love and helps he to sleep is putting a warm diaper on her, like straight from the dryer, she gets this big eyes expression, smiles and little and then her eyes just slowly close and then she's out.

― JacobSanders, Wednesday, May 16, 2012 11:30 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is genius^^^^

all the current evidence indicates that skin-to-skin for the first 48 hours is good for milk production and good for bonding and good for baby's health so i don't know wtf business a NURSE had telling you otherwise

like with more children you care less??

....yep

or rather, you don't really have time to "care" as much, if by caring you mean spending most of your time engaging with them, empathizing with each passing gastrointestinal event, etc

Just curious but at what point can we expect August will start having solid poop? Also do all baby's stretch so much and grunt?? August really seems to love stretching, big stretches followed by big grunts. You would think she had such a hard time napping, since she wakes up and goes through these series of stretches.

Solid food = solid(ish) poop

Henry grunted until about 2

Now he hisses.

true

it's baby D's b-day today! she is now one year old!

happy birthday!

awww Happy Birthday, D!

Aw! Happy 1!

re: the breastfeeding thing

I will just say that the youtube clip I watched a couple years ago of British woman who was breastfeeding her nine year old was way creepy. "It tastes wonderful! Better than mangoes!" he said. ew.

like with more children you care less??

statistically speaking, yes. you only have so much time and attention you can give. 1 kid gets it all. 2 kids get half each etc

Wouldn't common sense tell you that if your baby can talk, you are past the point when you should've stopped beast feeding? Beside the fact that it's weird for a mother son relationship, I can imagine a son would have problems with women later on?

i don't see what one thing has to do with the other tbh

re: the breastfeeding thing

I will just say that the youtube clip I watched a couple years ago of British woman who was breastfeeding her nine year old was way creepy. "It tastes wonderful! Better than mangoes!" he said. ew.

― Roger Barfing (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, May 17, 2012 3:31 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Pretty sure I've seen the same one. If anyone wants to look it up just search breast feeding my 8 year old.

I think one has a lot to do with another.

On breastfeeding, I'm really of the mind that if the child is capable of holding a fishing pole, he should be kicked off the teat.

a lot of cultures breastfeed until 2-3 ie: long after baby has begun to talk. i think 3 is maybe a little late, but 2 years and beyond is recommended by WHO.

my wife breastfed up til about 1 1/2 years, and then it became very obvious that the kid was not as dependent/interested in the whole process and pretty much gave up on it. a lot of people we know had the same experience.

had an ultrasound and we saw the heartbeat!!!

also, took the day off from work and I'm eating twizzlers on the couch
*knows how to live now*

awwwwww, :D

I honestly don't understand why people freak out so much about extended breastfeeding through toddler age say 2-3. It just doesn't seem that strange to me. I have also heard of a lot of kids who self-wean before then. People get amped about weird stuff.