ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

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he basically flips between binaries states of "ho hum, I'm napping" and "WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS" over the course of about 5 seconds and the speed of change and absolute commitment to the platonic essence of each emotion is amazing.

LOL redefining living in the moment.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 15 April 2014 23:59 (ten years ago) link

They were 31 weeks. They were incredibly small well-formed babbys; neither was intubated and only one had a CPAP to give his lungs extra pressure while breathing for about 12-16 hours after delivery (coincidentally the same one who is terrified by the act of pooping).

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 00:04 (ten years ago) link

Whisper softly to him that it's only a CRAP that's coming... Shhh

pplains, Wednesday, 16 April 2014 00:09 (ten years ago) link

haha I have tried that, for some reason six-week-olds are curiously resistant to reasoned arguments

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 00:12 (ten years ago) link

That's fantastic for 31 weeks! Super babbies!

carl agatha, Wednesday, 16 April 2014 01:10 (ten years ago) link

I love that speed and purity of emotion thing so much. "You ... You ... Tickled my chin? Wait.... HAHAHAHAH I AM THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE OH ... Hang on, I think I AM HUNGRY THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER FIX IT"

stet, Wednesday, 16 April 2014 01:24 (ten years ago) link

Being woken at 5am by Fartacus aka Baron Trumpington: C or D?

Madchen, Wednesday, 16 April 2014 10:33 (ten years ago) link

xps, pickle was just the first thing that came to mind. The problem is not so much whether or not to give her a pickle, but whether to giver her a pickle, then a cracker, then a cookie, then five blueberries, then some grapes, then a slice of cheddar cheese, when each thing you're giving her she's taking one bite of and asking for something else (ok not the cookie, she'll finish the cookie).

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 15:04 (ten years ago) link

Wait how did I totally miss/not know about Dan being a dad? Congrats!

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 15:05 (ten years ago) link

He did a low-key kinda roll-out.

keep calm and nahkchivan (how's life), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 23:07 (ten years ago) link

it's good to read this thread after what has seemed like weird negativity w/r/t kids 'round these parts of late

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 23:11 (ten years ago) link

speaking of, how is babby omar these days?

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 17 April 2014 00:01 (ten years ago) link

though I'm guessing not so much of a babby now

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 17 April 2014 00:01 (ten years ago) link

Negativity where? Maybe I don't want to see it.

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 17 April 2014 00:43 (ten years ago) link

I just experienced my first "baby spews formula all over you" moment. It's not fun.

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Thursday, 17 April 2014 02:02 (ten years ago) link

why are you so negative dan

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 April 2014 09:57 (ten years ago) link

Am I supposed to be psyched when one of my kids vomits all over me?

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Thursday, 17 April 2014 10:47 (ten years ago) link

yep you're supposed smile wistfully and shake your head as vomit drips off your neck and onto the floor

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 April 2014 10:49 (ten years ago) link

dammit

I need a pamphlet

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Thursday, 17 April 2014 10:50 (ten years ago) link

You're supposed to call it "spit up" to further distance you from the reality of what's running down your shirt front (or pooling in your bra).

carl agatha, Thursday, 17 April 2014 10:51 (ten years ago) link

BARF

Jeff, Thursday, 17 April 2014 11:03 (ten years ago) link

"Spit up" seems worse, like he intentionally saved up a bunch of formula to yak at me in retaliation for feeding him.

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Thursday, 17 April 2014 11:13 (ten years ago) link

Do Americans call the little spit-ups possets like we do here? Kind of Shakespearean, makes me feel learned when I say it.

Madchen, Thursday, 17 April 2014 11:44 (ten years ago) link

what wd possets u to call baby barf possets

smooth hymnal (m bison), Thursday, 17 April 2014 11:46 (ten years ago) link

sorry there was some opinions abt kids on a couple other threads that were bummers to me. my kid is great, VG! he's "a big boy now" as he says. Especially now that he uses the potty for most #1s. (#2s are still training pants-centric.)

christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 17 April 2014 14:35 (ten years ago) link

This morning I learned how many times in a row an angry three-year-old can shriek "I WANT YOGURT RAISINS" in a 15-minute period. Answer: about 800 billion.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 17 April 2014 15:40 (ten years ago) link

Like if you don't say anything other than I WANT YOGURT RAISINS for 15 minutes and you just say it over and over again, you end up saying I WANT YOGURT RAISINS a lot.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 17 April 2014 15:41 (ten years ago) link

Not a challenge but a sincere request for advice: how do you not just give her the damn yogurt raisins because if you have to hear I WANT YOGURT RAISINS one more time your head is literally LITERALLY I MEAN LITERALLY going to melt off your neck? Because that has to be the hardest thing and I don't know if I'll be up for it.

carl agatha, Thursday, 17 April 2014 15:43 (ten years ago) link

Once again, I would die of happiness if my little girl wanted to eat yogurt raisins. : )

keep calm and nahkchivan (how's life), Thursday, 17 April 2014 15:45 (ten years ago) link

I'd eat them all right in front of her, then the request can no longer be fulfilled.

Jeff, Thursday, 17 April 2014 15:46 (ten years ago) link

This morning I learned how many times in a row an angry three-year-old can shriek "I WANT YOGURT RAISINS" in a 15-minute period. Answer: about 800 billion.

― Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, April 17, 2014 11:40 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

looool

marcos, Thursday, 17 April 2014 15:46 (ten years ago) link

one time we counted how many times J pleaded "mama mama mama, mama, mama, mama, mama...mama...mama..mama mama mama" in a particular 5 minute period, it was 120 times i think

marcos, Thursday, 17 April 2014 15:48 (ten years ago) link

Not a challenge but a sincere request for advice: how do you not just give her the damn yogurt raisins because if you have to hear I WANT YOGURT RAISINS one more time your head is literally LITERALLY I MEAN LITERALLY going to melt off your neck? Because that has to be the hardest thing and I don't know if I'll be up for it.

― carl agatha, Thursday, April 17, 2014 10:43 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Like with basically every other aspect of parenting, the annoyance is balanced out by guilt and fear (in this case, of being a terrible parent who doesn't enforce any rules or encourage a healthy diet).

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 17 April 2014 15:50 (ten years ago) link

I constantly worry about being too lenient and giving in too easily. Yesterday we gave her three VERY easy chores to do before dinner and she did half of one of them and then sat on the floor and cried because no one was helping her.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 17 April 2014 15:53 (ten years ago) link

These stories are hilarious! Is it, like, the flip side of discovering that learning & using language gets results? Is it like when a kid learns that flipping a lightswitch has an effect and they want to do it 100x in a row?

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Thursday, 17 April 2014 16:06 (ten years ago) link

think most of that stuff is not worth worrying about. it's annoying but I don't think it augurs any long term problems. also chores suck

Euler, Thursday, 17 April 2014 16:06 (ten years ago) link

xp

Euler, Thursday, 17 April 2014 16:06 (ten years ago) link

Yeah, ounce of prevention, etc. A bit of not giving in when they're wee usually (not always, of course) leads to less of that nonsense when they are a bit older. At this point as soon as I hear any digging in, I'm like "oh, so you want to PLAY?!"

schwantz, Thursday, 17 April 2014 16:06 (ten years ago) link

Didn't know until just now that yogurt raisins were unhealthy! Palm oil? I've been fooled.

keep calm and nahkchivan (how's life), Thursday, 17 April 2014 20:38 (ten years ago) link

No, they're fine. There was other stuff going on too (she had already picked out another snack, we were on our way out of the house, she only wants to eat sweet things so I'm hesitant to give her more sweet stuff, etc.).

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 17 April 2014 20:46 (ten years ago) link

I'm reading a really good book about parenting called The Good Mother Myth - http://goodmothermyth.com/. It's very comforting.

carl agatha, Friday, 18 April 2014 15:10 (ten years ago) link

Oh, awesome! I've always liked its predecessor, The Myth of Motherhood.

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Friday, 18 April 2014 15:13 (ten years ago) link

Blossom is a neuroscientist

Ugh, Mayim Bialik is one to talk about "debunking".

Jeff, Friday, 18 April 2014 20:28 (ten years ago) link

Yeah I know. She didn't contribute essays. Just a blurb.

carl agatha, Friday, 18 April 2014 20:53 (ten years ago) link

dear god I am so fucking tired

singing ought to be an adventure this morning

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Sunday, 20 April 2014 13:00 (ten years ago) link

haha dude

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 20 April 2014 20:30 (ten years ago) link

My takeaway from this morning was "thank god I sing bass"

Also I totally fell asleep during Easter dinner, oops

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Sunday, 20 April 2014 23:23 (ten years ago) link

Haha awww Dan.

carl agatha, Sunday, 20 April 2014 23:28 (ten years ago) link

#dadlyfe

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 20 April 2014 23:59 (ten years ago) link


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