ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

I just had to reach into a toilet full of poop and pee to determine whether a butt had been wiped with toilet paper or a non-flushable baby wipe. 3 year old just couldn't give me a straight answer. It was in fact TP. Oh well. I haven't bought diapers in weeks and I've never felt more wealthy.

oh man

I thought diaper blowouts were super common and inevitable!

Well there's blowouts and there's having a baby crap directly on your lap...

my baby nephew threw up in my lap, and peed in my face... missed the poop train thank god

godbless to all of you so annointed

I remember a few horrifying blowouts, but thankfully I've blocked most of the worst of it out of my memory. (Except for that one time the day after she ate a bowl of pickled onions, omg.) I do remember that babies peeing in the bath are the happiest people alive.

Well there's blowouts and there's having a baby crap directly on your lap...

OTM

this story is probably in this thread but i don't wanna ctrl+f so:

this time last year, we were in austin with my brother and our friend. 7 month old baby bison in my lap while we ate lunch. i dont know why it bears reminding, but a fully-clothed child, no less.

im tucking into some pancakes without a summer care in the world until i see that ive been shot by his asshole. breastfed baby poop all over my lap, permanently ruining a pair of jeans and a shirt. he shat so hard that it blew out his own clothes and onto mine.

i went into the men's room to change him, but nothing remotely close to a changing table. i was tryina change this crying child's diaper on the fucking bathroom floor like pioneer times until my wife was like "we bought you a shirt, let me take him, you wretched soul." and she changed him in the car like a sane person wouldve done.

I hate when men's rooms don't have changing tables.

Me, too!

We don't need one. Just balance them on the back of the toilet.

I can't stop thinking about this, which a friend brought to my attention last week.

http://imgace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/This-might-just-be-the-saddest-doodle-Ive-ever-seen1.jpg

Oof.

wau

I want to give the child who drew that a hug and a book deal

I'm kind of skeptical that was drawn by a child

well, that picture ruined my day

I sat outside evie's room with "do you want to build a snowman" on a loop for an hour and she was still awake and now I'm insane

looool

let it go, is my advice

Heh.

RIP NA. He couldn't let it go.

I sat outside evie's room with "do you want to build a snowman" on a loop for an hour and she was still awake and now I'm insane

http://f.cl.ly/items/3J333f00362h1x2D0O0S/frozen-snowman.jpg

does recorded music usually put evie to sleep? with my kids it just makes them jump around even more

I better get my raver baby mix together now

Early on, Stet put together a Spotify playlist of things which F seemed to like and it now has a magickal effect at troublesome bed/nap times because nine times out of ten it goes Guns of Brixton > Under Pressure > Ashes to Ashes > honk shoo.

aw, we're "honk shoo" people! I first heard of it when I was reading some book to my daughter. Never heard that before in my life, but I like it better than any other snoring onomatopoeia.

does recorded music usually put evie to sleep? with my kids it just makes them jump around even more

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, July 29, 2014 6:40 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't think it makes much difference, if she's hyper she wants to dance but if she's sleepy it doesn't keep her from sleeping. The one slight positive is it sometimes keeps her quiet, even if she's not falling asleep.

When she was a baby I would play "Little Bird" by Elizabeth Mitchell on a loop because it seemed to help her fall asleep. I rigged up the iPod dock so it would play all night in hopes of getting her to sleep through the night but then I got worried that this would make her go crazy so I stopped doing it.

I did kind of lose it last night after sitting out there in an uncomfortable chair listening to that song for an hour and she was still wide awake. I felt bad, I just lost my patience. But we do need to work on her going to sleep without one of us (me) hanging out in the hallway.

"we need to work on" in parenting is a sad resignation

ie I feel your pain

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but what is the consensus on flying with an infant, lap or their own seat with car seat? We were just going to do lap for an upcoming trip, but now I'm all paranoid about it. Even holding her in our lap, I know that the likelihood of something happening to injure her is very low on the plane. The drive to and from the airport is more dangerous than a flight would be. I could pay $263 more and get her own seat.

I'm also paranoid about checking the car seat, for fear that it will have some invisible structural damage from the friendly airline employees tossing it about.

you are a little paranoid dude!

but seriously though i wouldn't worry about the checking a car seat. those things are pretty sturdy.

and how old is your infant? we are cheapskates so we have never paid for the extra seat. but once J was old enough to be crawling we would pray that an adjacent seat would be vacant. when you have a screaming kid who is crawling and playing everywhere it is really nice to have the extra seat, we've been lucky enough on a few flights and it made a big difference.

and J hates the car seat enough as it is so we never felt like strapping him into a car seat on a plane

we are somewhat relieved that we will be forced to buy an extra seat for him when he turns 2 in a couple of months. i don't know the rules though - once he is 2 and has to have his own seat, does he need to be in the car seat?

We flew from Boston to Cleveland with twins on our laps and we were fine. We also left the car seats and strollers at home and rented car seats along with our rental car (PS: if you're a member of AAA, you can get free car seats from Hertz). Baby transportation in the airport was done via BabyBjorn.

Daughter will be 10 months at the time. I'm not really concerned about the actual act of holding her, keeping her occupied, etc. It's totally just an irrational fear of the unlikely event of extreme turbulence ripping my child from my arms and smashing her into the overheard compartment. That .0000000001 percent chance (made up statistic) has me paranoid.

In all my years of flying, I have never actually seen someone bring a car seat on the plane and strap an infant in it. Everyone that I can remember has been a lap baby.

We flew from Boston to Cleveland with twins on our laps and we were fine. We also left the car seats and strollers at home and rented car seats along with our rental car (PS: if you're a member of AAA, you can get free car seats from Hertz). Baby transportation in the airport was done via BabyBjorn.

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Monday, August 4, 2014 6:47 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

baller moves imo

that said at a certain point the extra seat is a total godsend

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/26/26978/original/700.hq.jpg?2844

Oh snap that's massive.

I love the Onion magazine

lol

if only more of these were in mens' restrooms though

otmmmmmmmmmarcos

Those Koala stations are actually not that great -- they're uncomfortable and difficult with a toddler my daughter's size. She hates them.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8c/Debbie_Downer.PNG

I've never come across a koala that had all, or even most, of its original parts, but it's been a while.

Ha in Minnesota, land of pleasantries, I've never come across one that wasn't in perfect shape and scrupulously clean. Also I'm shocked when a men's bathroom doesn't have one, outside of like show venues and bars that don't serve food. I'd say I've seen maybe one place without one in the entire year of Michael being around.

Best so-glad-that's-not-me moment I had was eating fast food with my son while the couple in the next booth over negotiated with their two daughters and newborn. The girls went out to play on the playground, and the husband was all "uh-oh!" Mom was just "it's your turn, Jerry."

Dad and baby go off to the back and 20 seconds later are back at the table. Husband shrugs his shoulders half-heartedly and goes "No Koala." Poor woman answers back with ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

It's rare for there to be baby changing facilities in the gents' here. Stet only does nappies when we're out if they have unisex loos or a separate room (Westfield shopping malls and John Lewis department stores have great family rooms with breastfeeding cubicles and double toilets too).