the best
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 22:25 (nine years ago) link
This weekend we stopped in Hastings-on-Hudson, which is one of those *charming towns* in the Hudson Valley north of NYC. We sat down for brunch at a yuppie farm-to-table restaurant and Keren exclaimed "This is the Berkshires!"
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 24 September 2014 01:25 (nine years ago) link
We're sitting at Ella's drawing table, which is by the front windows, and an extremely loud, rumbling-engined motorbike roars past.
Ella says, "Fart! Fart!"
― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 06:29 (nine years ago) link
Beeps comes running from the far end of the playground, leaps off the step onto the ground by the bench I'm sitting on. "Look at me, Daddy!" "I see you!"
Hank tries the same thing, but stumbles before he reaches the step, sorta veers off to the side into a fall– enough where I put my hands up to catch him and go WHOA – somehow regains his footing through some unintentional parkour and stops.
Without making eye-contact, he shuffles past me and mumbles "What did you think of my trick, Dad?"
― pplains, Thursday, 2 October 2014 13:54 (nine years ago) link
*pointing to easel* "Mommy did painting of teacher susan. She's a good guy."
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 2 October 2014 14:03 (nine years ago) link
About gumballs again:
HENRY: I like Blueberry. Orange hurt me.
PP: It was a little strong, huh?
HENRY: Orange beat me up in my mouth!
― pplains, Sunday, 5 October 2014 03:45 (nine years ago) link
We went to see "The Box Trolls" and there was a preview for the Paddington Bear movie before. There's a scene where Paddington is in the bathroom and he picks up two toothbrushes and sticks them in his ears, pulls them out with a bunch of brown goop on them, then looks around and tastes the goop. Now Evie keeps walking around looking mad saying "ARGH. Stop thinking about the bear and the toothbrushes. I don't want to think about the bear anymore! Stop it, brain!"
― Immediate Follower (NA), Monday, 6 October 2014 15:05 (nine years ago) link
I know how she feels.
― how's life, Monday, 6 October 2014 15:15 (nine years ago) link
God me too.
― carl agatha, Monday, 6 October 2014 15:30 (nine years ago) link
I'm right there with ya, Hank.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Monday, 6 October 2014 15:40 (nine years ago) link
There's a scene where Paddington is in the bathroom and he picks up two toothbrushes and sticks them in his ears, pulls them out with a bunch of brown goop on them, then looks around and tastes the goop
WHY IS THIS A SCENE IN THE FILM WAT. D:
― Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Tuesday, 7 October 2014 00:33 (nine years ago) link
iirc he also ends up sticking his head in a toilet for some reason
― you little affront to god (reddening), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 07:51 (nine years ago) link
Guys, I don't want to think about the bear anymore.
― pplains, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 15:54 (nine years ago) link
This morning I was cleaning out our fridge and threw away some really old disgusting broccoli, which I then kept talking about because it was so gross, and I was jokingly saying "I don't want to think about the broccoli any more! Stop it brain!" and Evie was very seriously like "Dad, you're going to think about the broccoli for a few days. But then you won't think about it any more. Because I couldn't stop thinking about the bear, but now I don't think about it any more."
― Immediate Follower (NA), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 16:06 (nine years ago) link
Cute.
― how's life, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 16:12 (nine years ago) link
<3
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 16:19 (nine years ago) link
Awwwww!
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 16:24 (nine years ago) link
one of eli's pals at school is named Paddington http://www.statichukd.com/images/threads/2002716_1.jpg
― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 17:28 (nine years ago) link
oh dear
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 17:39 (nine years ago) link
why would someone do that to their child :(
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 17:40 (nine years ago) link
Evie's Pro-tips <3
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 19:59 (nine years ago) link
Keren announced at the dinner table last night: "This is my friend Ahmed. He lives in a big city called Cairo."
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 10 November 2014 17:10 (nine years ago) link
Veronica: Knock knock!Me: Who's there?Veronica: Closet!Me: Closet who?Veronica: Closet went to Boston! *maniacal laugh*Me: ...
― Οὖτις, Monday, 17 November 2014 17:36 (nine years ago) link
(she is trying desperately to develop some comedy chops)
― Οὖτις, Monday, 17 November 2014 17:37 (nine years ago) link
getting the hang of knock knock jokes is like a turing test or something i think
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 17 November 2014 17:38 (nine years ago) link
You saying shakeys kid still might be a robot?
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 November 2014 17:39 (nine years ago) link
also there was quite a long explanation that accompanied that joke but I can't recall all of it, but it did end with "and that's why Boston is the punchline!" How puns work continues to elude her...
― Οὖτις, Monday, 17 November 2014 17:40 (nine years ago) link
K has sort of picked up on the "funny because it's not true" version of humor, like saying "Cookie Monster eats broccoli...no!"
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 November 2014 17:41 (nine years ago) link
I was so proud the other night of my comedy chops. Beeps had been putting on a show with her stuffed nocturnal bird animal, and when she got up, she stepped on something and went ow!
We looked at her foot and she was ok. As she climbed up to her bunk bed, I said, that'd be a funny cartoon you could draw - two characters walking the woods when one of them steps on something and says ow!. And then have an owl say from a branch, Yes?
She gave me the exact same reaction as Arthur does to the line: "Then I won't be needing my jacket?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QLSRMoKKS0
Thank you, Beeps.
― pplains, Monday, 17 November 2014 17:51 (nine years ago) link
LOL
― carl agatha, Monday, 17 November 2014 18:01 (nine years ago) link
Highlights from the last week:
(Eavesdropping on argument)A: You're not the queen of this house!L: But I am the queen of bunnies. And they came first.A: No they did not! Insects came first!L: Bunnies created the insects. And water and sand and lemonade and lampposts.
(Part of her overarching theory that once the meteor did for the dinosaurs, the bunnies came out of their impact-resistant warrens and basically kickstarted human civilisation. She is a human-bunny hybrid, one of only two left. The other is a 110yo man in Florida).
Me: Who was the first woman in space?A: Vanessa Blackwell!Me: Valentina Tereshkova.A: I knew I was close.
(Lulu in her skeleton PJs)L: Look at my pelvis.A: Like Elvis the Pelvis. Daddy, why did they call him that?L: Because he hid his pelvis in his massive hair.
(On coming downstairs during a BBC4 showing of Duncan Jones's MOON; I felt obliged to explain the plot as I wasn't going to let them stay up and watch it... **SPOILERS**)A: If I'd written this film he'd have woken all the clones up and just had a big party. The end.
― Michael Jones, Monday, 17 November 2014 18:23 (nine years ago) link
Because he hid his pelvis in his massive hair.
― carl agatha, Monday, 17 November 2014 18:24 (nine years ago) link
This kid is amazing.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 17 November 2014 19:28 (nine years ago) link
water and sand and lemonade and lampposts
this is v poetic
― example (crüt), Monday, 17 November 2014 19:32 (nine years ago) link
Bunnies created the insects. And water and sand and lemonade and lampposts.
would subscribe to her newsletter
― Οὖτις, Monday, 17 November 2014 20:05 (nine years ago) link
My son, who is in first grade and starting to read, reads my t-shirt:
him: "Pixies", what's that?me: They're a band, one of my favorite bands actuallyhim: *points to his shirt* My favorite band is GAP
― silverfish, Monday, 17 November 2014 20:46 (nine years ago) link
Ha.
Gap Band is great, good taste.
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 November 2014 20:47 (nine years ago) link
Henry: "If you stand on top of the Christmas Tree star, you won't be able to see the presents."
Literally turned my head around at the red light to look at him in the backseat and ask, "Who are you?"
― pplains, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 14:43 (nine years ago) link
lol
― ✓ out this insane nakh yall (gr8080), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 15:50 (nine years ago) link
For homework, Lulu did an acrostic:
Vicious mountains erupt wildlyOpened top explodes with lavaLava catches trees on fire!Can you run fast enough?Animals must be scared!Nearly everyone is panickingOnly scientists are calm
But the original "C" line - which made her laugh herself helpless - was going to be "Can I have a milkshake? I'm boiling!"
― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 22:27 (nine years ago) link
nice!
― put your money where the maracas are (how's life), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 23:41 (nine years ago) link
Ella's started summarising her picture books and "reading" them to us from memory. http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/91QCIc2FCuL.jpgSven's Bridge has become:
"Sven! Naughty King! BOOM! King no pants!"
― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 02:37 (nine years ago) link
lool
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 03:56 (nine years ago) link
"Daddy, look, a fire!""No, that's just smoke from a chimney, I think.""Or it's from a factory. Some cities have factories. Like the Cheesecake Factory."
― droit au butt (Euler), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 09:45 (nine years ago) link
omg
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 13:16 (nine years ago) link
also lol at the cheesecake factory
bf: cmon Dex you gotta get ready for your party, they're picking you up soon!Dex: I gotta go get HANDSOME! *runs off to his room*
― Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Friday, 21 November 2014 09:03 (nine years ago) link
Before I caught her, wandering around to the neighboring parents at her older brother's school orchestra concert:
*blows raspberry*I farted!*blows raspberry*I farted! *maniacal laughter*etc.
― put your money where the maracas are (how's life), Friday, 21 November 2014 11:11 (nine years ago) link
that sounds like me!
― droit au butt (Euler), Friday, 21 November 2014 11:35 (nine years ago) link
dex otm.
― ✓ out this insane nakh yall (gr8080), Saturday, 22 November 2014 01:37 (nine years ago) link