getting the hang of knock knock jokes is like a turing test or something i think
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 17 November 2014 17:38 (nine years ago) link
You saying shakeys kid still might be a robot?
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 November 2014 17:39 (nine years ago) link
also there was quite a long explanation that accompanied that joke but I can't recall all of it, but it did end with "and that's why Boston is the punchline!" How puns work continues to elude her...
― Οὖτις, Monday, 17 November 2014 17:40 (nine years ago) link
K has sort of picked up on the "funny because it's not true" version of humor, like saying "Cookie Monster eats broccoli...no!"
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 November 2014 17:41 (nine years ago) link
I was so proud the other night of my comedy chops. Beeps had been putting on a show with her stuffed nocturnal bird animal, and when she got up, she stepped on something and went ow!
We looked at her foot and she was ok. As she climbed up to her bunk bed, I said, that'd be a funny cartoon you could draw - two characters walking the woods when one of them steps on something and says ow!. And then have an owl say from a branch, Yes?
She gave me the exact same reaction as Arthur does to the line: "Then I won't be needing my jacket?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QLSRMoKKS0
Thank you, Beeps.
― pplains, Monday, 17 November 2014 17:51 (nine years ago) link
LOL
― carl agatha, Monday, 17 November 2014 18:01 (nine years ago) link
Highlights from the last week:
(Eavesdropping on argument)A: You're not the queen of this house!L: But I am the queen of bunnies. And they came first.A: No they did not! Insects came first!L: Bunnies created the insects. And water and sand and lemonade and lampposts.
(Part of her overarching theory that once the meteor did for the dinosaurs, the bunnies came out of their impact-resistant warrens and basically kickstarted human civilisation. She is a human-bunny hybrid, one of only two left. The other is a 110yo man in Florida).
Me: Who was the first woman in space?A: Vanessa Blackwell!Me: Valentina Tereshkova.A: I knew I was close.
(Lulu in her skeleton PJs)L: Look at my pelvis.A: Like Elvis the Pelvis. Daddy, why did they call him that?L: Because he hid his pelvis in his massive hair.
(On coming downstairs during a BBC4 showing of Duncan Jones's MOON; I felt obliged to explain the plot as I wasn't going to let them stay up and watch it... **SPOILERS**)A: If I'd written this film he'd have woken all the clones up and just had a big party. The end.
― Michael Jones, Monday, 17 November 2014 18:23 (nine years ago) link
Because he hid his pelvis in his massive hair.
― carl agatha, Monday, 17 November 2014 18:24 (nine years ago) link
This kid is amazing.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 17 November 2014 19:28 (nine years ago) link
water and sand and lemonade and lampposts
this is v poetic
― example (crüt), Monday, 17 November 2014 19:32 (nine years ago) link
Bunnies created the insects. And water and sand and lemonade and lampposts.
would subscribe to her newsletter
― Οὖτις, Monday, 17 November 2014 20:05 (nine years ago) link
My son, who is in first grade and starting to read, reads my t-shirt:
him: "Pixies", what's that?me: They're a band, one of my favorite bands actuallyhim: *points to his shirt* My favorite band is GAP
― silverfish, Monday, 17 November 2014 20:46 (nine years ago) link
Ha.
Gap Band is great, good taste.
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 November 2014 20:47 (nine years ago) link
Henry: "If you stand on top of the Christmas Tree star, you won't be able to see the presents."
Literally turned my head around at the red light to look at him in the backseat and ask, "Who are you?"
― pplains, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 14:43 (nine years ago) link
lol
― ✓ out this insane nakh yall (gr8080), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 15:50 (nine years ago) link
For homework, Lulu did an acrostic:
Vicious mountains erupt wildlyOpened top explodes with lavaLava catches trees on fire!Can you run fast enough?Animals must be scared!Nearly everyone is panickingOnly scientists are calm
But the original "C" line - which made her laugh herself helpless - was going to be "Can I have a milkshake? I'm boiling!"
― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 22:27 (nine years ago) link
nice!
― put your money where the maracas are (how's life), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 23:41 (nine years ago) link
Ella's started summarising her picture books and "reading" them to us from memory. http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/91QCIc2FCuL.jpgSven's Bridge has become:
"Sven! Naughty King! BOOM! King no pants!"
― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 02:37 (nine years ago) link
lool
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 03:56 (nine years ago) link
"Daddy, look, a fire!""No, that's just smoke from a chimney, I think.""Or it's from a factory. Some cities have factories. Like the Cheesecake Factory."
― droit au butt (Euler), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 09:45 (nine years ago) link
omg
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 13:16 (nine years ago) link
also lol at the cheesecake factory
bf: cmon Dex you gotta get ready for your party, they're picking you up soon!Dex: I gotta go get HANDSOME! *runs off to his room*
― Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Friday, 21 November 2014 09:03 (nine years ago) link
Before I caught her, wandering around to the neighboring parents at her older brother's school orchestra concert:
*blows raspberry*I farted!*blows raspberry*I farted! *maniacal laughter*etc.
― put your money where the maracas are (how's life), Friday, 21 November 2014 11:11 (nine years ago) link
that sounds like me!
― droit au butt (Euler), Friday, 21 November 2014 11:35 (nine years ago) link
dex otm.
― ✓ out this insane nakh yall (gr8080), Saturday, 22 November 2014 01:37 (nine years ago) link
For homework, Lulu did an acrostic:Vicious mountains erupt wildlyOpened top explodes with lavaLava catches trees on fire!Can you run fast enough?Animals must be scared!Nearly everyone is panickingOnly scientists are calmBut the original "C" line - which made her laugh herself helpless - was going to be "Can I have a milkshake? I'm boiling!"
This is just amazing
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Saturday, 22 November 2014 02:18 (nine years ago) link
Little kids are nature's born surrealists. Ella, now 22 months, seems to have invented an imaginary friend of sorts: a sometimes blue, sometimes brown walrus called "Meat" who lives on her shoulder. When asked why we can't see him, she explains he's hiding in her armpit. Apparently she met him "far away" and then he moved into our shower.
― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Thursday, 27 November 2014 05:23 (nine years ago) link
That's great.
― put your money where the maracas are (how's life), Thursday, 27 November 2014 11:31 (nine years ago) link
Meat! Haha oh man
― carl agatha, Thursday, 27 November 2014 13:20 (nine years ago) link
That is amazing and I'm smiling so big reading that.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 27 November 2014 13:22 (nine years ago) link
While playing campout.
HL: Are you afraid of the dark?A: No. I HUNT night reindeer in the dark.HL: Oh yeah? How do you hunt night reindeer? With a gun or a bow-and-arrow?A: With a bone arrow. You take em back to the camp, throw em on the fire, mush em up into a blanklet, then you chop the head off so you don't have a head on your blanklet.
― how's life, Saturday, 13 December 2014 22:08 (nine years ago) link
O_o
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 14 December 2014 06:42 (nine years ago) link
I don't hold my sarcastic sense of humor a virtue, pretty much agreeing that it's the lowest form of humor. But that said, I work with what I've got.
What I wasn't expecting was not only Beeps picking up sarcasm, but also applying the bitter oil and vitriol needed on her own to make her caustic observations so effective. (Remember, she's 7.)
Case in point: we drove past an adult novelties shop recently, its name on the outside only ADULT STORE. italics won't do this justice, but from the backseat, we hear:
"Ohhh. I'd bet that store is the best."
Sorry, world. And I mean that with sincerity.
― pplains, Saturday, 3 January 2015 10:43 (nine years ago) link
Ha ha.
Sorry, this isn't the photo thread, but I think this sums up Ava's attitude to her sister much of the time...
https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7510/16154006306_b54f7c8543_c.jpg
― Michael Jones, Saturday, 3 January 2015 12:53 (nine years ago) link
We then asked her what items she thought were being sold inside hat adult store, and she replied, "I dunno, shaving things?"
Oh, the stifling.
― pplains, Saturday, 3 January 2015 13:30 (nine years ago) link
― kinder, Saturday, 3 January 2015 14:20 (nine years ago) link
""Knock knock who's there!!"
"Uh, who's there?"
"Poop"
"Poop who?"
"Hahahahahahaha"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 3 January 2015 14:31 (nine years ago) link
comedy gold imo
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 3 January 2015 17:37 (nine years ago) link
Nice one! Yesterday, my kid was sitting on the toilet and renamed her feet "poop" and "pee" and had a little puppet show with them.
Hey, poop.What is it, pee?Oh sorry. Poop, what is that sticker on your toenail?It's a star.It is a Monster High star and I have one too!etc.
― how's life, Saturday, 3 January 2015 18:17 (nine years ago) link
My parents have provided third party confirmation that Ivy has uttered her first word beyond "Mama" and "Dada" and it is...
CAT!!!
I am so freaking proud!
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 02:41 (nine years ago) link
She says it when she sees Francie after she's done squealing or making that Sleestack hissing noise she makes when she gets excited about something.
SQUEEEEEEEEE AHHHHHHHH CAT! CAT! AHHHHHHHHH
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 02:43 (nine years ago) link
:D
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 02:52 (nine years ago) link
aw man
― gbx, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 03:35 (nine years ago) link
:D that's sweet.
― schwantz, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 03:53 (nine years ago) link
<3 a very promising start.
― estela, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 04:02 (nine years ago) link
Great word!
― Madchen, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 05:13 (nine years ago) link
That was my first word! Good choice, Ivy, great going!
― ljubljana, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 08:02 (nine years ago) link
Awesome! My first word was "kit-cat" and my daughter's first word was our cat's name.
― how's life, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 10:10 (nine years ago) link
'round and round the garden, like a teddy bear, one step, two steps, tickly underwear!' From Molly, 3.
― vickyp, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 12:35 (nine years ago) link