Everything is harder when you haven't gotten enough sleep for a year or two.
― about a dozen duck supporters (carl agatha), Friday, 30 January 2015 20:08 (nine years ago) link
i know! that's what i'm saying -- i am trying to understand how maybe there is a relationship between sleep deprivation and the tendency to judge/feel judged. it just bums me out because i know people aren't being as harsh on my friends as they think people are being but my friends are so tired and worn out that i think they just slide into feeling blue. it bums me out on their behalf. this is why i asked.
― groundless round (La Lechera), Friday, 30 January 2015 20:11 (nine years ago) link
i was wondering if anyone thinks there's a connection between sleep deprivation and vocal judgment of other people's parenting?
just to be clear - are you referring to parenting-related sleep deprivation?
― Οὖτις, Friday, 30 January 2015 20:15 (nine years ago) link
or just regular old garden variety sleep deprivation
IDC about other people, parents or not, judging me. But I do judge other parents all the time, but mostly in silence.
^^^this
bear in mind I started this thread in the spirit of comedy, I don't really go around yelling at people about their shitty parenting. and we're all very supportive of each other here ime
― Οὖτις, Friday, 30 January 2015 20:17 (nine years ago) link
the former
― groundless round (La Lechera), Friday, 30 January 2015 20:18 (nine years ago) link
Maybe you're more likely to discuss what other parents you know do vs what you do and compare, and sometimes that gets judgey. At the same time I'm much more sympathetic when I see a random parent having trouble with their child in the street or something.
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Friday, 30 January 2015 20:18 (nine years ago) link
and my friends i'm referring to are not on ilxi just get bits and pieces of these difficulties from them periodically
Maybe you're more likely to discuss what other parents you know do vs what you do and compare, and sometimes that gets judgey. this, basicallyand what i'm wondering, just idly and without malice, is whether sleep deprivation makes ppl extra sensitive about this and the answer is probably yes but i wanted to see what you guys thought out of curiosity
― groundless round (La Lechera), Friday, 30 January 2015 20:20 (nine years ago) link
I have no idea really, I'm going on 2 1/2+ years of constant sleep deprivation myself
― Οὖτις, Friday, 30 January 2015 20:28 (nine years ago) link
if people do judge my parenting I'm not really aware of it and if I was well hey fuck them what do I care
that's easier for some people to say than others, ime -- and this is why i brought it up i did not expect my friends to be so fragile, but sleep deprivation makes some people mean and some people fragileno?
― groundless round (La Lechera), Friday, 30 January 2015 20:33 (nine years ago) link
I'm sure it affects different people differently, mostly it just makes me out of it
― Οὖτις, Friday, 30 January 2015 20:35 (nine years ago) link
LL I feel like you are talking around a specific bad experience
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Friday, 30 January 2015 20:42 (nine years ago) link
maybei don't know, and that's why i asked!
― groundless round (La Lechera), Friday, 30 January 2015 20:42 (nine years ago) link
no I mean it just sounds like you were recently hanging out with some specific parent friends who freaked out about something and kind of shocked you and you're wondering if it's normal, ha
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Friday, 30 January 2015 20:49 (nine years ago) link
maybei wish we were hanging outit was just via email/text (they're my college friends, only one of them is local)
― groundless round (La Lechera), Friday, 30 January 2015 21:05 (nine years ago) link
The family of a six-year-old US boy staged his mock kidnapping because they thought he was too nice to strangers, Missouri police say.
dear god
― mookieproof, Saturday, 7 February 2015 02:36 (nine years ago) link
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/f4/f47db4327d68f7bc38f0feab94c9632177ff2ecf4a31ee6836c1f86096aecc0a.jpg
― een, Saturday, 7 February 2015 03:18 (nine years ago) link
Bike-helmeted dad riding a bike down a busy street while carrying your (unhelmeted) toddler in one arm: i judge you
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 11 February 2015 01:37 (nine years ago) link
I get IA about kids and parents biking where the kid is wearing a helmet and the parent is not. I mean, I don't care if anyone wears a helmet or not, just goddamn match, especially if you are forcing your kid to wear one.
― Jeff, Wednesday, 11 February 2015 01:40 (nine years ago) link
eh I've witnessed too many bike accidents in this city - every time I see someone on a bike without a helmet I instantly think they are morons, but protecting yourself while endangering your kid is next level
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 11 February 2015 19:45 (nine years ago) link
I generally can't take seeing a little kid on the back of a bike in a busy urban area. When I consider what a high percentage of my friends who bike regularly in the city have been in at least one accident, it just seems like an unacceptable risk to me.
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Wednesday, 11 February 2015 19:47 (nine years ago) link
kid wasn't even on the back, dad was literally cradling him in one arm while steering the bike with the other. In the middle of rush hour traffic on a busy 4-lane street!
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 11 February 2015 19:49 (nine years ago) link
A-ok with your judging there.
― Jeff, Wednesday, 11 February 2015 21:16 (nine years ago) link
I see kids balanced on handlebars or--on one notable occasion, sitting between Dad's arms on the top tube?--pretty normally. At first it seemed absolutely crazy, but I think it's just an offshoot of using bikes to get around. You don't have other transpo but you do have a bike? There you go.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Wednesday, 11 February 2015 21:22 (nine years ago) link
Tbh I find it freakier when parents have their kids on the back in carriers. I'm sure I'm wrong and the data won't bear me out, but it seems like you could do more for your kid if they were right there in your arms than strapped into the back of the bike if it goes flying.
NB ianap
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Wednesday, 11 February 2015 21:26 (nine years ago) link
Kinda hard to react to a situation while holding a kid, I would think
― just1n3, Wednesday, 11 February 2015 21:28 (nine years ago) link
Yeah I meant they're usu not holding the kid, the kid is holding on by him or herself (!!!!!! I KNOW!!!) while the adult has hands on the handlebars. It just doesn't surprise me anymore, I guess.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Wednesday, 11 February 2015 21:30 (nine years ago) link
this kid wasn't old enough to hold himself up/hang onto handlebars (a practice I would be more forgiving of if the child is above-toddler age, ie, probably able to jump off to safety in the event of an accident)
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 11 February 2015 21:36 (nine years ago) link
This feels like a 'hey I could walk outside tomorrow and get hit by a bus. Crazy, horrible things happen all the time' attitude which is def one of IA hot buttons.Firstly, you're not getting hit by a bus tomorrow because you won't be idly standing in a bus lane because you know it will increase your chances of getting hit by a billion percent. Can you not give your kid the same courtesy? Yes, horrible, crazy things happen everyday, a good chunk of which could probably be avoided by a simple choice like getting your ass on the sidewalk or not dodging through traffic on a bike with an infant on the back. Secondly, I understand this 'any of us could die at any second' is probably a mental safety mechanism to keep one from losing their mind thinking of what could happen but it always seems to be paired with the certain(ly false) belief that 'nothing truly bad will ever happen to me'.I don't know. It's just all so complementary and contradictory and flippant as fuck
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Saturday, 14 February 2015 17:32 (nine years ago) link
Thirdly, install your kids car seat correctly, buckle both of you in correctly, wear a helmet if you're on a bike. These things will in no way comprise your constitutional liberties.
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Saturday, 14 February 2015 17:38 (nine years ago) link
wife and I feel like we are watching a slow motion trainwreck with this friend of hers that is 6 months pregnant and exhibits zero signs that she is emotionally/psychologically capable of raising a child. She is prone to long blog rants about how she "doesn't even like babies!" and hates being pregnant and feels crazy all the time (she was p crazy before tbh) and it's like ... uh honey you have no idea what you are in for
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 15 July 2015 23:28 (eight years ago) link
is she doing it alone?
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Thursday, 16 July 2015 00:26 (eight years ago) link
No, thankfully. She does have a partner, they've been together a lil over a year i think. He's a spock LARPer
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 00:57 (eight years ago) link
She sounds like she could use counseling? Not that that excuses her for being a brat about becoming a parent but "feels crazy all the time" sounds like more than brattiness.
― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:00 (eight years ago) link
The final line of Οὖτις's response quickly undercuts the mild relief brought by the first.
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:06 (eight years ago) link
haha
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:46 (eight years ago) link
Oh she's in therapy allright
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 03:06 (eight years ago) link
I would link to her blog but then I'm afraid she might find this
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 15:42 (eight years ago) link
let me see if I can do this googleproofing thing
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 15:45 (eight years ago) link
Change thread title to "This is the thread where we prejudge other people's parenting"
― Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 16 July 2015 16:02 (eight years ago) link
heh
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 16:06 (eight years ago) link
Doesn't even like babies / hates being pregnant / feels crazy all the time pretty accurately describes our birth mom's pregnancy experience and is why she went with adoption.
― joygoat, Thursday, 16 July 2015 16:28 (eight years ago) link
A friend of mine boasted after their baby announcement, "It's cool - I'm up at five anyway getting ready for my daily bike ride."
And I was just all quiet and heh.
― pplains, Thursday, 16 July 2015 17:57 (eight years ago) link
Oh cute, he has a daily recreation routine he likes to follow?
― how's life, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:01 (eight years ago) link
lol
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:04 (eight years ago) link
tbf his routine does not appear to have changed at all (if 5am bike trail facebook photos are to be believed) but this guy is totes high on life
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:08 (eight years ago) link
I wonder if the mom's routine has changed...
hmph.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:10 (eight years ago) link
My kids have both decided that they like to stay up late this summer. REAL FRICKIN' LATE. I mean, what are you gonna do, tell an 11-year-old he has to go to sleep at 9 o'clock in the summer? He's up until the wee hours watching Netflix. The 4-year-old isn't much better. She'll just sit there giggling and yodeling in her bed until like 9:30 or 10. I have to wake up between 4 and 5 every day for work, so trying to stay up later than these guys is like crawling through the desert on my hands and knees in search of water. It has put a serious cramp in downtime with Mrs. Life.
― how's life, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:37 (eight years ago) link
I give your post a D- for lack of judgmental content
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:44 (eight years ago) link