I walk into the bathroom where the girls are in bath. Me: "Oh come on, how did all this water get on the floor?"Ava: "Is that a rhetorical question?"
https://calvinandhobbesagain.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/19851227.gif
― Plasmon, Monday, 23 February 2015 02:21 (nine years ago) link
Ava's version is better.
My son, while watching a movie:
"It's not fair! The bad guys always lose!"
― silverfish, Monday, 23 February 2015 18:05 (nine years ago) link
"Daddy, what happened to your life?"
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Monday, 23 February 2015 18:06 (nine years ago) link
"Dad, you look pretty bad-ass...from a distance."
― how's life, Monday, 23 February 2015 18:27 (nine years ago) link
Dad, you double-posted that one
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Monday, 23 February 2015 18:28 (nine years ago) link
lol. shit.
― how's life, Monday, 23 February 2015 18:28 (nine years ago) link
When Henry wants me to put my arm around him he now says 'Put a seatbelt on me, Mama!'
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Thursday, 26 February 2015 15:50 (nine years ago) link
:)
― schwantz, Thursday, 26 February 2015 17:37 (nine years ago) link
That is adorable.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 26 February 2015 17:56 (nine years ago) link
oh that's so cute.
― how's life, Thursday, 26 February 2015 18:18 (nine years ago) link
omg
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 26 February 2015 20:23 (nine years ago) link
3-yo looking at match attax card of arteta
me: "that's mikel arteta! he's spanish. he plays for arsenal"
3-yo says "he's rubbish" and does a no-look toss of the card over his shoulder
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 March 2015 21:51 (nine years ago) link
looool
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 4 March 2015 22:21 (nine years ago) link
6-yo, pointing to bath:
"that tap is bare old, man"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 5 March 2015 21:04 (nine years ago) link
More religious brainwashing
K told my wife that two of her blocks were "Standing up for God" (she actually said "Hashem" which makes it funnier if you understand the cultural milieu), and that one of them was "Lying down because he didn't want to."
― five six and (man alive), Friday, 6 March 2015 19:46 (nine years ago) link
public school can't come soon enough
― five six and (man alive), Friday, 6 March 2015 20:03 (nine years ago) link
lol
― Οὖτις, Friday, 6 March 2015 20:42 (nine years ago) link
haha!
daughter made me almost cry when she announced very seriously that our recently deceased cat is now "walking around in my heart." (awwww)
― tylerw, Friday, 6 March 2015 20:50 (nine years ago) link
:(
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 March 2015 21:26 (nine years ago) link
but <3
"Daddy, I have a question.""Yes?""Why do I have so many questions?"
― droit au butt (Euler), Saturday, 7 March 2015 03:46 (nine years ago) link
irl lol
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Saturday, 7 March 2015 04:20 (nine years ago) link
lmao
― gr8080, Monday, 9 March 2015 00:26 (nine years ago) link
My elder son is doing Grease as his school play, says he thinks the music is terrible, especially the song about Tommy Moore.
― we reward the hake (NickB), Tuesday, 10 March 2015 20:41 (nine years ago) link
bahahaha
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 10 March 2015 20:46 (nine years ago) link
Poor kids.
― Jeff, Tuesday, 10 March 2015 20:49 (nine years ago) link
Tommy Moore - how much dough did he spend?
― pplains, Tuesday, 10 March 2015 21:05 (nine years ago) link
It took me far too long to figure this out, but now I am a'lolin'.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Tuesday, 10 March 2015 21:19 (nine years ago) link
haw!
I'm so pissed off that my kid's elementary school doesn't have any theater in it at all. I remember there being school plays all the way back to 1st grade. They were miserable for me, but my son's such a ham. It seems like he'd be a natural fit.
― how's life, Tuesday, 10 March 2015 22:16 (nine years ago) link
:/
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 10 March 2015 22:39 (nine years ago) link
"dad, have you ever been drunk?"
what do you even
"Yes"
― Jeff, Tuesday, 10 March 2015 22:43 (nine years ago) link
yep my kids are at the age when they're juuuuuust about ready to ask about whether we've done drugs. we crossed the "have you ever been drunk" threshold a long time ago.
― droit au butt (Euler), Wednesday, 11 March 2015 09:41 (nine years ago) link
"How do you think we had you?"
They screen-printed a T-shirt for me one birthday with a camera and a bottle of beer on it. :/
In a north Liverpool suburb at the weekend we were on our way to a 9th birthday party when we passed half a chocolate cake, abandoned on the pavement, presumably at the spot it slipped from someone's grasp.
Ava: "I hope that's not Abi's."Me: "It's like that song... (singing or "singing") 'Someone left a cake out in the rain / And I don't think that I can take it / Cos it took so long to bake it / And I'll never have the recipe againnnnn'"Ava: (laughing) "What is THAT? That is ridiculous. You made that up."Me: "It's a famous Jimmy Webb song! Look..." (gets the Richard Harris version up on YouTube)Ava and Lulu listen to a few verses, we get to the line...Ava: "Oh, that is just YOU. You recorded that and put your voice through...a thing."Me: "It's real! It's Richard Harris! There are strings and... I mean, why would I even..."Ava: "You're ridiculous, Daddy."
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 09:47 (nine years ago) link
(Anyway, the outcome of this is that I've just ordered A Tramp Shining in time to blow their minds Friday evening).
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 10:09 (nine years ago) link
Ha. I wouldn't believe it either.
― how's life, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 10:19 (nine years ago) link
Haha. That would be a pretty sweet "dad" move to pull on some kids, recording your own YouTubes.
Beeps was asking me one time at the drive-thru window on the way home, "Why do we always have to stop at the liquor store?"
And I say, "Because it's the only place between school and home where I can buy beer without getting out of the car. I don't want you two loose in a liquor store."
She says, "Well it doesn't have alcohol in your beer, does it?"
I just turn around and look at her, "Of course, it has alcohol. Why else would I be drinking it?"
It's fun sometimes to ruin things like Red Ribbon Week.
― pplains, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 13:34 (nine years ago) link
Oh jeez, we don't have a drive-through liquor store around here. Bringing my kids in with me to buy beer is always nerve-wracking. Just thinking about all the stuff they knock over and break at home.
― how's life, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 13:36 (nine years ago) link
Liquor store still one of the few places around that stack fragile items like vodka bottles in a display on the floor, like it's Seamus' General Goods or something.
― pplains, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 13:39 (nine years ago) link
We're basically raising Ivy at the bar on the corner so I don't think the conversation about being drunk will be too difficult.
I'm more worried about the conversation about drugs, particularly when she's older because I am definitely taking a "do as I say, not as I did" stance on them.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Wednesday, 11 March 2015 14:37 (nine years ago) link
Me: You’ve been working very hard today, but like your mother.A: I’m hard! *pause* Hard to take care of!
― how's life, Thursday, 12 March 2015 00:43 (nine years ago) link
(Kicks me in the man-boob)
"I think you're my mom."
― how's life, Monday, 16 March 2015 00:34 (nine years ago) link
convo between my 5 year old and her (christian) friend, who mentioned that god created the world.Daughter: "What? No, the MOON created the world."Friend: "No, it was Jesus..."Daughter: "No! There was a big rock in space and... I don't know, but it wasn't a GUY!"
― tylerw, Wednesday, 18 March 2015 21:30 (nine years ago) link
High five, daughter.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Wednesday, 18 March 2015 21:39 (nine years ago) link
not sure about the moon thing...
― tylerw, Wednesday, 18 March 2015 21:53 (nine years ago) link
Seems as plausible as friend's theory.
― Jeff, Wednesday, 18 March 2015 22:37 (nine years ago) link
Nice.
― a cocoanut rink (how's life), Wednesday, 18 March 2015 22:54 (nine years ago) link
Haha awesome
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Thursday, 19 March 2015 00:27 (nine years ago) link