I... I just want you all to know that I don't really slap him hard or anything.
― pplains, Tuesday, 6 October 2015 16:23 (eight years ago) link
K: Tell a funny joke!Me: Knock Knock.K: Hahahahahahaha!
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 6 October 2015 16:32 (eight years ago) link
that's about the size of it
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 6 October 2015 21:09 (eight years ago) link
Ella, unable to sleep, watched the first 15 mins of Back to the Future 3 with us"I don't understand what's going on, but I like it!"― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Saturday, September 12, 2015 10:28 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
"I don't understand what's going on, but I like it!"
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Saturday, September 12, 2015 10:28 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
I had the same moment, with Amber, age three, the movie was "Blade Runner (director's cut)"
The opening scene is a wide vista of a city in the dark:Amber: "Wooo! Scary!"And about two minutes later she was asleep. So I had to take her up. Never did see that movie.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 7 October 2015 16:03 (eight years ago) link
Overheard:
"We're going to listen to some underground music and it's going to be very loud."
I've never used the phrase "underground music" around my 5-year-old.
Update, she has amended it to "We're going to listen to What Does The Fox Say and it's going to be very loud."
― how's life, Monday, 9 November 2015 00:44 (eight years ago) link
Knock Knock Jokes Part Two (K Learns):
K: Knock KnockMe: Who's there?K: Orange.Me: Orange who?K: Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Me: Good one!K: Knock KnockMe: Who's there?K: OrangeMe: Orange who?K: Orange you Olive Banana Orange?
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 9 November 2015 03:37 (eight years ago) link
<3
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 9 November 2015 03:48 (eight years ago) link
haha
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Monday, 9 November 2015 16:27 (eight years ago) link
V: do you ever get that uncomfortable feeling, like you're in a white room with all white walls and white furniture and white light and everything is white?Me: uhhhh
― Οὖτις, Monday, 9 November 2015 16:37 (eight years ago) link
yikes!
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Monday, 9 November 2015 16:39 (eight years ago) link
Like Mr Nobody in the isolation tank in Doom Patrolhttp://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e56/tbondurant/dpv2_26_p18_thinking.jpg
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 08:29 (eight years ago) link
*takes away Cream albums*
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:02 (eight years ago) link
As I was leaving this morning, my bf yelled down at me from upstairs "dont forget your pills!"7 y-o sitting in bed with him added "yeah and dont forget you're a BUTT!".
;_;
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 23:49 (eight years ago) link
re: the white room thing - it came out of the blue so I was very taken aback (was she referring to a dream? something she saw on TV? something some other kid told her?) but after talking to her about it I realized she was referring to this album cover:https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-FZ48l-hdblY%2FTaTIHHXeyJI%2FAAAAAAAAACw%2FUATJNvYxlTQ%2Fs1600%2Fthe-juan-maclean.jpg&f=1
she likes the Juan Maclean a lot but is understandably weirded out by this cover
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 23:59 (eight years ago) link
'I have dreams where I'm flying. They're a lot better than the dreams with the vampires.'
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 00:21 (eight years ago) link
LOL Trayce!
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 13:47 (eight years ago) link
JM just don't tell her that vampires fly!!
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 13:48 (eight years ago) link
Henry has always had a litany of insults that's he lets fly when he's told not to do something. His latest?'Mama you...you....you...TINY!!!'
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 13:54 (eight years ago) link
nothing worse than being small
― jason waterfalls (gbx), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 13:56 (eight years ago) link
To a kid, for sure. As an adult I'm thinking 'wow thanks kid!'
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 13:59 (eight years ago) link
The girls were making each other laugh in bed the other night with a series of "your butt is so big" jokes. My favourite was Lulu's "If you were in orbit around the earth your butt would still reach down into the inner core." They laughed for a long, long time about that one - I could hear Ava trying to ask "but how would you even... it doesn't make any..." I really want them to go to sleep in my flat once I've tucked them in on the sofa bed and give me just maybe an hour's peace watching something on the laptop or reading, but I'd rather have a laughfest than nightmares.
Apparently, at school, kids have started calling each other "wasteman". This made me chuckle. First appearance on ILX was on the rap/grime threads in 2005-06, and then it starts to appear in football discussions around 2012-13. Now in primary schools. Marvellous.
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 17:21 (eight years ago) link
My kids love to tell yo mama jokes. Best one so far was Owen:
"Yo mama is so polite that she says 'your mother'"
― schwantz, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 17:55 (eight years ago) link
inspired!
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 22:05 (eight years ago) link
That just makes me think of this!
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e2/c7/24/e2c724d12f43be3deb45cb9cdd71a892.jpg
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 23:17 (eight years ago) link
― schwantz, Wednesday, November 11, 2015 11:55 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this is a great joke!
― jason waterfalls (gbx), Thursday, 12 November 2015 00:10 (eight years ago) link
Better than Ben's "Your mama is so square that Wyoming was like 'whaaa?'"
― schwantz, Thursday, 12 November 2015 00:15 (eight years ago) link
hahahaha
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 12 November 2015 00:27 (eight years ago) link
I don't think I can pick a favorite.
― carl agatha, Thursday, 12 November 2015 13:01 (eight years ago) link
7 year old: "Daddy... can you look into your heart.."Dad: "hmmm? for what?"7yo: "for reasons. Look into your heart... for reasons. Reasons to get me some cheese".
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, 26 November 2015 00:23 (eight years ago) link
LOOOOOOOOOOL going to use that.
― chimiraquai (how's life), Thursday, 26 November 2015 00:26 (eight years ago) link
that's brilliant!
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Thursday, 26 November 2015 00:29 (eight years ago) link
glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ree-a!
in a Chelsea Stadium!
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 4 December 2015 00:39 (eight years ago) link
lol
― how's life, Friday, 4 December 2015 01:49 (eight years ago) link
My littlest kid keeps making up pretend mud puddles on all the places in our house where the rugs transfer to flooring and then back again. She nobly spreads her jacket over the mud puddle and then looks at me and says "May I ask...?" and I am supposed to daintily walk across and be polite and thankful when I get to the other side. Who says chivalry is dead?
― how's life, Friday, 4 December 2015 01:53 (eight years ago) link
Give the kid a fedora! :)
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Friday, 4 December 2015 03:50 (eight years ago) link
"I poop floor!"
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 10 December 2015 18:33 (eight years ago) link
Ella, on being informed she has to wear pants when she leaves the house:(In a scoffing tone) "But vaginas aren't scary!"
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Sunday, 13 December 2015 09:49 (eight years ago) link
Damn right Ella.
― carl agatha, Sunday, 13 December 2015 14:40 (eight years ago) link
awesome
― #amazing #babies #touching (harbl), Sunday, 13 December 2015 15:06 (eight years ago) link
Ella future ruler of the universe
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Sunday, 13 December 2015 18:52 (eight years ago) link
Henry and I reading The Best Nest, where there's this scene in which Mr. Bird, after seeing a big fat cat with a big fat smile and pretty brown feathers all around, believes that his wife, Mrs. Bird, is dead.
http://i.imgur.com/ecjXF1i.jpg
Hlooks at me as I turn the page and says, "So what? Now he can play all the video games he wants!"
― pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 14:40 (eight years ago) link
― droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 17 December 2015 14:42 (eight years ago) link
oh MAN i remember that book!! that page is a heartbreaker!
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 December 2015 16:11 (eight years ago) link
That's pretty dark!
― carl agatha, Thursday, 17 December 2015 19:18 (eight years ago) link
"So what? Now he can play all the video games he wants!"
Atta lad.
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, 17 December 2015 22:45 (eight years ago) link
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 18 December 2015 00:03 (eight years ago) link
Mrs bird was kind of a nagging bitch IIRC
― UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Friday, 18 December 2015 19:51 (eight years ago) link
7yo, upon hearing a sweet string piece in some movie soundtrack;
"this music is music to my ears!"
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Saturday, 19 December 2015 22:18 (eight years ago) link
5 yo singing: "We love our trees, we love our trees" (stops) "And now this is the BLACK METAL version" (cue garbled singing with words love and trees minimally recognizable)
― One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Sunday, 20 December 2015 00:20 (eight years ago) link
[Watching a zoboomafoo episode about snakes]
Anaconda boa. Anaconda boa. Anaconda don't want messing with your buns. (Repeat)
― how's life, Sunday, 20 December 2015 22:12 (eight years ago) link