lol
― how's life, Thursday, 1 February 2018 12:45 (six years ago) link
Son & daughter burst into the kitchen, all dressed up. Son: "She's the flower ninja! And I am her SKELETON!"
― ArchCarrier, Thursday, 1 February 2018 12:51 (six years ago) link
video game reference?
― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Thursday, 1 February 2018 16:27 (six years ago) link
this morning my 2 year old was singing a made-up song that just repeated the lyrics "I want milk. I want a knife"
― silverfish, Thursday, 1 February 2018 16:33 (six years ago) link
xp - No, they don't play videogames. I have no idea where that came from.
― ArchCarrier, Thursday, 1 February 2018 18:32 (six years ago) link
OMG! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
My nephew, during a Catholic mass, at an otherwise silent moment as the priest held the consecrated host aloft: "Eat it Father, eat it!"― early rejecter, Tuesday, July 21, 2015 3:40 PM (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― early rejecter, Tuesday, July 21, 2015 3:40 PM (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 22:32 (six years ago) link
Nora’s taken to adding the following management-esque phrase to the end of requests: “can you do that for me please”. Can you sit next to the bath so I can splash you? Can you do that for me please?Can you get up at 5am and make me breakfast? Can you do that for me please?
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Saturday, 10 February 2018 04:09 (six years ago) link
Hahaha at least she isnt saying "please do the needful" :D
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:27 (six years ago) link
lol trayce mr veg still uses that from his Intel days
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:35 (six years ago) link
Haha its apparently something in Indian english thats bled into the IT workplace, I see it said a lot!
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:43 (six years ago) link
haaaa I never knew that was a thing but mr kinder who works with India hears it all the time
― kinder, Saturday, 10 February 2018 21:55 (six years ago) link
Yes, I hear it from Indian colleagues and I find it charming, though I don't say so. They're just speaking idiomatically, and pointing out its quaintness would probably just make them feel self-conscious with no good reason.
But I did remark to a friend of mine that it kinda makes me want to send out email that ends "govern yourselves accordingly."
My friend countered with the excellent "herewith fail not at your peril."
― I will finish what I (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 11 February 2018 02:10 (six years ago) link
"I will take measures which will astound you.
Yours, etc"
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Sunday, 11 February 2018 10:22 (six years ago) link
"knock knock!!"
"who's there"
"headface!!!!!!"
"headface who?"
"headface ON YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 17 February 2018 18:32 (six years ago) link
I heard my daughter talking to her tablet this morning - "How do you spell heroine?" At least I assumed she was asking it how to spell heroine, rather than heroin.
Out of curiosity I poked my head into her room and asked if she still needed spelling help, and she said, "You know, heroine. The bird."
― persona non gratin (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 17 February 2018 18:45 (six years ago) link
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41pBq5PREXL.jpg
― koogs, Saturday, 17 February 2018 19:31 (six years ago) link
HMB: They were showing "Space Buddy" in my class about launching the car into space, but what I don't understand is why they did that when they said they can't bring it back now.
ME: *blank look*
ME: Ohhh, yeah, the SpaceX thing? Cool how they had the guy set up in there, driving the car? The reason they did that is ––– what?
HMB: *blank look*
HMB: It wasn't a guy. It was a mannequin.
― pplains, Sunday, 25 February 2018 04:11 (six years ago) link
My 3 yo has been on a Johnny Cash kick, but he usually sings sped-up versions of the songs. But last night he started gently strumming his guitar and singing a slowcore version of "I've Been Everywhere Man" stopping in the middle to say, "This is the slow Everywhere Man. The fast one is in the trash. It's not in my mouth anymore."
― President Keyes, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 16:24 (six years ago) link
:o
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 28 February 2018 16:55 (six years ago) link
I heard Pres. K's kid shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die
― it's my leopard. (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 28 February 2018 16:56 (six years ago) link
ha luckily when he sings that line it comes out something like "I salmon in Weeno, just to rah rah rah"
― President Keyes, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 17:04 (six years ago) link
I ate salmon in Reno, because I want to die.
― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Wednesday, 28 February 2018 17:20 (six years ago) link
lols at heroine the bird. this thread is the best. thank you all for sharing.
― new noise, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 18:05 (six years ago) link
The other night:
K: I don't want you to go out!Me: But it's important for mommies and daddies to go out and to love each other.K: Why?Me: Well, actually you exist because of that. If we didn't have a chance to have time together, you wouldn't be here.
A couple days later:
K: I'm scared that you will stop loving each other!Me: Why?K: Because if you do, I won't exist.
;_;
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 28 February 2018 20:05 (six years ago) link
omg ;_;
― Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 20:09 (six years ago) link
I've been trying to curb my iPhone usage lately and i told our kid to let me know if i was using it too much. which has apparently given him license to walk into the kitchen to see me texting someone and point and shout, "How DARE you!" or "Don't you DARE!" or some variation on that. Or if he's doing a #2 somewhere, i'll hear his disembodied voice coming down the stairs to me, "What are you doing? Are you using your PHONE?" as if i'd take the chance to sneak some phone time.
(narrator: he did)
― omar little, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 20:13 (six years ago) link
<3
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 28 February 2018 20:37 (six years ago) link
hahaha awwww
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 21:45 (six years ago) link
(K is 6 now and E is 2.5)
K: Dad, are spiders insects?
Me: Actually, they are arachnids.
E: Dad, are tomatoes spiders?
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Sunday, 18 March 2018 05:28 (six years ago) link
Both good questions
― valorous wokelord (silby), Sunday, 18 March 2018 05:30 (six years ago) link
each developmentally appropriate in its way
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Sunday, 18 March 2018 05:30 (six years ago) link
"Dad, were staplers around when you were a kid?"
I love that this is almost certainly the result of all my oldster speeches about how far technology has come. We used to have to get up and walk over to the tv to change the channel zzzzz...
Kinda wish I'd at least thought about saying no, in the olden days if you had pieces of paper that needed to stay together, you'd have to hire a person to keep them pinched together all the time....
― I leprecan't even. (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 19 March 2018 01:34 (six years ago) link
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 19 March 2018 02:21 (six years ago) link
Me: K are you sad that I have to go do some work now?K: Yeah. Me: but you know why i do it? So you and E can have food to eat and a nice place to live. K: So your boss cares about me?
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Sunday, 15 April 2018 22:27 (six years ago) link
had one of those 21st century parenting moments with my older daughter when she was talking about how her friend made a pretend phone and they were playing with it. i asked "who did you call?" and she said "huh? what?" i said "who did you call on the pretend phone?" and she said "we were LISTENING to SONGS." like why would you use a phone to call someone, you moron
― na (NA), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 14:22 (six years ago) link
Hahaha
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 15:52 (six years ago) link
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 19:58 (six years ago) link
After we told Owen what we were watching:"That's a lazy title. The Americans?!"
― DJI, Friday, 11 May 2018 05:57 (six years ago) link
as i usually say on this thread, kid otm
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 11 May 2018 12:59 (six years ago) link
Along those lines, Sunny was recently talking in the car about Hannibal Lecter.
Beeps pipes up with, "WAIT. They made a HORROR MOVIE called SILENCE of the LAMBS? Sounds REALLY SCARY!"
Do not mess with an 11-year-old and her sarcasm.
― pplains, Friday, 11 May 2018 14:01 (six years ago) link
Haha!
― DJI, Friday, 11 May 2018 14:26 (six years ago) link
Another one today!Ben: High school seems like it's going to be fun. You know, partying all the time with your friends. Drinking beer and going on Facebook...
― DJI, Saturday, 12 May 2018 03:50 (six years ago) link
I guess at 13 he's not a "kid" anymore but the other day this convoapparently went down in the car while driving past a golf course:
Mo: Ive been there. We play golf for sport sometimes!B: really? I didnt know that! Do you like golf?Mo: yeah, its good!B: whats your handicap?Mo (without missing a beat): my family.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Saturday, 12 May 2018 10:22 (six years ago) link
bada bap bada ba!
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 12 May 2018 17:20 (six years ago) link
Excellent
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Sunday, 13 May 2018 02:38 (six years ago) link
continuing on with her wolf fascination:
WOLF!There it is...WOLF!There it is...
― how's life, Tuesday, 5 June 2018 09:51 (five years ago) link
This is stuck in my head now.
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Tuesday, 5 June 2018 15:09 (five years ago) link
Nora and her mum were dancing to Chemical Brothers in the kitchen last night and Nora was telling Em exactly how to dance. "We need a system". A system! wtf
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 7 June 2018 05:31 (five years ago) link
<3 strict little girls
― estela, Thursday, 7 June 2018 08:11 (five years ago) link
i think it’s funny how rule obsessed kids getmy friend’s son is 6 or 7 now and i swear every activity is halted & reset with ever more complicated rules every 5 min
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 7 June 2018 14:30 (five years ago) link