ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

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have at it

Οὖτις, Friday, 10 July 2015 19:51 (one year ago) Permalink

"because I'M the parent!" is a thing *I* say now.

UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Friday, 10 July 2015 20:47 (one year ago) Permalink

I find myself saying giving the weirdest instructions sometimes

Οὖτις, Friday, 10 July 2015 21:00 (one year ago) Permalink

completely frivolous post but: ex-coworker pregnant w second baby. she's naming it "Macyn" and I am pretty IA about it tbh

ugh. just call the fuckin kid mason jeeeeeeezus christ almighty

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 19:48 (one year ago) Permalink

boy or girl? I'm guessing girl.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 22:50 (one year ago) Permalink

just intentionally mispronounce it from now on

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 23:00 (one year ago) Permalink

"makin? like yr makin a baby?"

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 23:00 (one year ago) Permalink

we've moved beyond the "why" stage to the "no" or simply ignoring stage which is slowly sapping my will to live and/or self-image as a nice guy

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 15 July 2015 12:53 (one year ago) Permalink

Hey all. Haven't been around for a while but K now has a baby sister, E. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧

five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 00:58 (one year ago) Permalink

Good job.

Jeff, Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:02 (one year ago) Permalink

Oh yay! I was just thinking about you, man alive, and hoping you'd come back and say hello. Congratulations!

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:45 (one year ago) Permalink

Aw! Nice to not be forgotten by ILXORs, at least a few nice ones.

five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:47 (one year ago) Permalink

yes you were missed dude

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:12 (one year ago) Permalink

we even posted in the ilx milk carton thread a while back iirc

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:13 (one year ago) Permalink

anyways good to have a new thread

J is starting to ask "what is ____" about everything, it is really cool, like he is really trying to get at the deeper meaning of it, e.g. he has been eating oatmeal for a good two years now but now he wants to really know "what is oatmeal???"

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:15 (one year ago) Permalink

haha also xp man alive i misread your post to say "K now has a babysitter, E" so i did not comment b/c that seemed unremarkable, but yea congratulations!

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:24 (one year ago) Permalink

So yeah, two kids is pretty crazy. OTOH in the final months before the birth I hustled hard and found a better job -- better pay AND more flexible with time, and that's been making things a lot easier.

five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 03:13 (one year ago) Permalink

Oh awesome! Congratulations on the new job AND the new baby!

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 03:17 (one year ago) Permalink

yeah two kids is nuts. fwiw three is not as nuts as two is, in case you're inclined in that way

we just flew back to the usa for a couple of weeks and my kids did well, but then my youngest is 8 so why would it be bad. tons of movies on demand with the little screens, they keep bringing you food and drinks, you get to snuggle, what's not to like.

droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 16 July 2015 12:01 (one year ago) Permalink

fwiw three is not as nuts as two

this needs explaination

UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Thursday, 16 July 2015 17:36 (one year ago) Permalink

two is fucking crazy

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:45 (one year ago) Permalink

I assume when you have three you let the oldest child be in charge of the other two. Parenting over!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:46 (one year ago) Permalink

im dying here w/ 2, it is intense

my mom had 5 and i just can't even comprehend that

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:48 (one year ago) Permalink

i think maybe people who say the jump to 3 is not a big deal is maybe because at that point the older ones are a little more manageable since they are older?

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:49 (one year ago) Permalink

also some of you may recall i mentioned J's autism diagnosis on the previous thread, things were super stressful for a long while especially after F's birth but things do seem to be falling into place a little w/ his services and planning for preschool next year. we found some really incredible home-based therapists and b/c of his diagnosis J also got offered a spot at one of our city's best public schools allowing us to bypass some of the anxiety-inducing byzantine lottery process. one benefit i guess to having a kid with special needs. also J is just doing amazingly well right now and we've seen so much growth and progress, it is really hopeful.

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:54 (one year ago) Permalink

Oh good! That's good to hear.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 19:21 (one year ago) Permalink

Thanks for the update Marcos, that's good to hear.
My friend with 3 kids says the jump to 3 is the craziest ever. You only have 2 hands for a start!

kinder, Thursday, 16 July 2015 19:44 (one year ago) Permalink

Yeah I've heard that 3 is the hardest - harder than two, harder than four.

LOL survey says - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/07/three-children-is-most-st_n_3229032.html

I think we'll stick with one to be on the safe side.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 19:58 (one year ago) Permalink

http://adequateman.deadspin.com/14-things-you-will-say-to-your-kids-a-million-goddamn-t-1717985943

I would add "Put on your shoes" to this list.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:11 (one year ago) Permalink

Ivy's only 19 months so some of those don't apply but we're already well on our way with "Careful," "You're fine," and "Don't eat that."

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:16 (one year ago) Permalink

yeah I dunno with #3, #1 was already 6 years old, so didn't need the kind of management that newborns do, and got along well with #2 so our lives were fine. plus we knew what we were doing by that point, at least as well as we ever were going to. but when #2 was born...I don't know how we survived tbh

droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:44 (one year ago) Permalink

Oh god, "careful!" is getting a lot of use now, as well as the related "gentle hands!" F's top three words are "no", "nono" and "nonononononono".

Madchen, Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:55 (one year ago) Permalink

"Did you take another bite of your dinner yet?"

how's life, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:03 (one year ago) Permalink

Ivy's daycare teachers use the Spanish "linda" to mean "nicely," which Ivy picked up on early so we say that instead of "gentle hands." And we say that a lot... Also my mom's old favorite: People are not for hitting. People are for loving. Usually said through gritted teeth after Ivy smacks my glasses off my face.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:15 (one year ago) Permalink

our perfect granddaughter, who always slept through the night even from birth and has never been the slightest bit difficult during year one, has FINALLY has her first tantrum, tried to scratch her mom with her little fingernails. we breathed a sigh of relief tbh, thank god she's not some pod person experiment and is actually human.

I have a couple of new Isolde pics as well, will post later

sleeve, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:31 (one year ago) Permalink

Damn straight.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:00 (one year ago) Permalink

"gentle hands" wtf does that mean, like what is the situation

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:47 (one year ago) Permalink

pets?

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:48 (one year ago) Permalink

ime it is another way of saying "don't scratch my fucking face, boy"

marcos, Friday, 17 July 2015 00:06 (one year ago) Permalink

Yeah like "don't hit scratch slap pinch me/your dad/this other child/the cat."

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Friday, 17 July 2015 00:39 (one year ago) Permalink

"What did I just say?" is another thing I say a lot.

Οὖτις, Friday, 17 July 2015 02:39 (one year ago) Permalink

I've been trying to get a little more real about "rules" lately, especially with eating, e.g. I keep repeating "we don't get something else until we finish what we have," because she has a really annoying habit of asking for something, taking a few bites and then asking for another thing. Also trying to stop snacks in the stroller and carseat so she'll actually eat her goddamn meals instead of snacking all the time, but that one is challenging (because on the morning where she DOESN'T eat her goddamn breakfast, you feel guilty sending her to school hungry).

five six and (man alive), Friday, 17 July 2015 04:51 (one year ago) Permalink

Also we have a grandparent who sees her every week and undermines all this

five six and (man alive), Friday, 17 July 2015 04:51 (one year ago) Permalink

gah, that thing when your newborn is finally asleep and completely quiet and then you keep checking every twenty minutes to make sure they're alive.

five six and (man alive), Friday, 17 July 2015 05:02 (one year ago) Permalink

:)

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 17 July 2015 05:19 (one year ago) Permalink

double congratulations, man alive!

estela, Friday, 17 July 2015 05:28 (one year ago) Permalink

small man still alive

wisdom be leakin out my louche douche truths (k3vin k.), Friday, 17 July 2015 05:29 (one year ago) Permalink

So I may have missed something, but I think Nora only woke at midnight and 3am last night. It's 7am now and she's still asleep. And it's Em's birthday.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 July 2015 06:18 (one year ago) Permalink

Ha, I slept straight through a 5am waking..,

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 July 2015 06:24 (one year ago) Permalink

Happy birthday Em. I was just thinking I hadn't seen her over at the other place for a while. If it's any consolation, our sleep has gone back into a bad pattern after having a really good thing going for a couple of months. Hoping we find that groove again.

kinder, Friday, 17 July 2015 08:33 (one year ago) Permalink

I think being able to talk/communicate their needs is a real big part of it. Once they learn they can express themselves/be understood verbally then they have less of an emotional need to lash out. So getting them to talk about their feelings and understand that they're being heard is a big help.

yeah, I've found that to be the case too. Like, when my son (29 months) starts flipping out we tell him to use his words and tell us what's wrong. When we want him to do something he's not ready to do, he now sits down and says "I want to be alone" We leave him be for about 20 seconds at which point he usually says "I feel better now" and is ready to move on. I think he learned some self control from that "Calm-Down Time" book. Of course sometimes communication is stuff like Me: "I want you to put your toys away." Him: "No. I don't want to. Daddy can do it."

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Friday, 17 March 2017 18:46 (three months ago) Permalink

I tell our more frequent tantrumer that I can't do anything to help him if he screams at me. About 50% of the time he will calm down and tell me what he wants (usually to watch/hear the Big Bang Theory theme song, which is surprisingly easy to memorize via osmosis, I've discovered)

Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Friday, 17 March 2017 18:50 (three months ago) Permalink

my wife said that worked - just say something like "I'm going to go pee pee" (he understands that since we're trying to potty train him), and then just don't come back, unless he starts crying I guess. didn't work for me though.

one thing I should mention, we just had #2, and though he's been very good with the little one, he's definitely been looking for our attention way more since she was born

another thing I should mention, he's growing up bi-lingual. or at least we're trying to have him grow up that way. so his speech is a bit delayed.

frogbs, Friday, 17 March 2017 18:53 (three months ago) Permalink

Being bilingual shouldn't be a problem for understanding you.

A new baby in the house does shake things up sometimes, but it usually settles pretty quickly if you make sure to give the oldest some quality time, for example during the hours when the baby is sleeping.

ArchCarrier, Friday, 17 March 2017 19:26 (three months ago) Permalink

well, seems to have worked so far

I tell him, "ok, good night..." and walk away after a few minutes. He starts fussing after 30 seconds or so but gives up and falls asleep a minute or two later. So, hey.

frogbs, Monday, 20 March 2017 20:33 (three months ago) Permalink

Awesome, man.

ArchCarrier, Monday, 20 March 2017 21:42 (three months ago) Permalink

just putting this story here for the parents, just wondering if you have opinions. i have some.

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/news/a43466/mom-kids-followed-in-ikea/

nomar, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 15:38 (three months ago) Permalink

sounds ridiculous to me

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 15:42 (three months ago) Permalink

Her story reads like the biggest bunch of bullshit. For one thing, these guys were not sex traffickers. They were almost certainly serial killers.

how's life, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 15:58 (three months ago) Permalink

they were clearly radical Islamic terrorists

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 16:08 (three months ago) Permalink

Come on guys. They were ghosts and you know it.

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Wednesday, 29 March 2017 16:10 (three months ago) Permalink

Ghosts of her kids from the future, come back in time to warn them about their impending abduction by a sex trafficking ring.

how's life, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 16:15 (three months ago) Permalink

what a coincidence that she was alarmed by reading an account of sex-trafficker stalking and then was sex traffikicker stalked herself

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Wednesday, 29 March 2017 16:16 (three months ago) Permalink

This harrowing dance apparently continued for the better part of an hour, so eventually, Toyos's mother made a bold move. "She made eye contact, very clearly letting them know that we saw them," Toyos wrote.

nomar, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 16:28 (three months ago) Permalink

TAKEAN

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Wednesday, 29 March 2017 16:29 (three months ago) Permalink

"good luck" finding those guys in Ikea tbh

nomar, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 16:51 (three months ago) Permalink

My mom and I decided to sit down and wait for them to move on. We had a gut feeling something was going on, but we hoped we were wrong and they would move on. So we sat in one of the little display rooms. For close to 30 minutes. And they sat too. They sat down on one of the couches on the display floor that faced us. That was when we knew our gut feeling was right and something was off. They sat the whole time we sat, and stood up right as we got up.

sorry but these are the WORST human traffickers

nomar, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 16:55 (three months ago) Permalink

^^next Rob Schneider movie

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Wednesday, 29 March 2017 17:08 (three months ago) Permalink

"I always think, 'That could never happen to me,'" Toyos wrote, as a reminder. "But you guys, it did."

but you guys, it didn't

Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Wednesday, 29 March 2017 17:56 (three months ago) Permalink

and here's why

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 17:58 (three months ago) Permalink

SHOCKING: Two women and three children sit on an Ikea couch for thirty minutes near two men.

nomar, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 17:59 (three months ago) Permalink

who looked at them, don't forget the looking at them part.

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 29 March 2017 19:57 (three months ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/izWTd6G.jpg

hello
born may 21, a son

dylannn, Friday, 31 March 2017 16:35 (two months ago) Permalink

woohoo congratulations!!!

marcos, Friday, 31 March 2017 16:36 (two months ago) Permalink

congrats! did u end up stayin in Japan or moving back to Canada?

Οὖτις, Friday, 31 March 2017 16:37 (two months ago) Permalink

also had did baby time travel back to our time from the future or what

Οὖτις, Friday, 31 March 2017 16:37 (two months ago) Permalink

Congratulations!!

ArchCarrier, Friday, 31 March 2017 16:41 (two months ago) Permalink

thanks. and, march! it was march. still in tokyo, seemingly the most expensive city on the planet to give birth to and raise a child.

dylannn, Friday, 31 March 2017 16:46 (two months ago) Permalink

Congrats Dylannn!

On Some Faraday Beach (Le Bateau Ivre), Friday, 31 March 2017 16:48 (two months ago) Permalink

Awwww. <3

DJI, Friday, 31 March 2017 17:02 (two months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

'yeah! make that uvula spin!'

It's always (sunny successor), Wednesday, 26 April 2017 17:10 (two months ago) Permalink

Yesterday my 13-year-old kid fell off of his bike and fractured one of his vertebra. He's going to be ok. He's in a lot of pain, but mostly mobile. He needs to avoid strenuous activity for a month, which is going to be the worst part of it for him because he's very active.

He somehow managed to not hit his head when he landed, but if he had, he hadn't been wearing a helmet. The doctor warned us that with the force he hit the ground, a head injury would have been much more severe. We used to make him wear a helmet, but gave in because none of the other kids in the neighborhood wore one. I was excited that he was getting into bmx. I used to freestyle when I was younger and never wore helmets and managed to escape injury. So while we knew it was utterly fucking stupid to let him ride helmetless, we just got swept along.

So even though his back injury would not have been prevented by a helmet, it's been a hell of a wake-up call for me and my wife. Just wanted to put that out there for everybody.

how's life, Wednesday, 3 May 2017 19:07 (one month ago) Permalink

fuck that's scary. so glad to hear he's basically ok.

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 3 May 2017 22:09 (one month ago) Permalink

yikes that is scary - glad he's (mostly, sort of) ok

Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 3 May 2017 22:43 (one month ago) Permalink

Helmets are so neccesary! Hope yr boy recovers ok. A cuz of mine is only alive today cos he had a helmet on when he came off his bike head first into the road.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 4 May 2017 05:47 (one month ago) Permalink

Best wishes, hows life, that sounds terrifying

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Thursday, 4 May 2017 08:01 (one month ago) Permalink

Thanks guys.

Yeah, it was totally terrifying. He had miraculously been able to ride his bike home, thinking he just got the wind knocked out of him and some bad road rash. When he went to take his shirt off to go shower I guess it dislodged the bone fragment and he just melted down in tears - something I haven't seen him do from an injury since he was 6. So I threw him in the car and rushed him to the urgent care clinic and he's just screaming the whole time. I had to be calm and reassure him but the whole time I didn't know what was wrong - was there organ damage? Internal bleeding?

Crazy thing is, he swears he wasn't even doing some rad trick. I've watched him with his friends recently and I know the kind of stuff he tries, so I believe him. He says he just pulled up on the handlebars while going over a bump, overcompensated, and the bike went out from under him. Sometimes it's the simplest things that can lead to a bad accident.

how's life, Thursday, 4 May 2017 12:47 (one month ago) Permalink

That's horrifying and I'm glad he's okay or at least mendable. My most prominent scar is 30+ years old, from slipping and hitting my lip on my 70's hi-rise bike handlebars when I was just riding slowly and not doing any stunts.

We've been pretty strict about helmet use on his strider bike, to the point that sometimes he asks to wear it around the house for no reason. This one's easy to model because my wife and I always, always wear bike helmets based on a friend slowly losing her brother to a BMX head injury.

But then I think about skateboarding, which I loved and would have no problem with him getting into, where nobody wears a helmet except on vert ramps. I hit my head at least a couple of times falling off benches and jump ramps and it's just sheer luck that I didn't seriously injure myself, but I still would never think of wearing one while street skating.

joygoat, Thursday, 4 May 2017 18:41 (one month ago) Permalink

Yeah, that's the crazy thing. No one wears them around here except little kids. I definitely made him when he was younger and I make my daughter wear one, but when he got old enough to ride around the neighborhood by himself, I'd often see him come back home with the helmet dangling off his handlebars until eventually he stopped taking it out altogether. There's even a law in our state, but cops don't even bother to enforce it.

how's life, Thursday, 4 May 2017 18:51 (one month ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Guys, guys, I have discovered the most amazing restaurant in the world -- Benihana! You get to sit for an hour plus meal, during much of which your children are distracted by a juggling clown chef making your food! And the food itself isn't completely terrible!

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Sunday, 21 May 2017 18:07 (one month ago) Permalink

sounds like they should franchise

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 22 May 2017 15:38 (one month ago) Permalink

Yesterday my 13-year-old kid fell off of his bike and fractured one of his vertebra. He's going to be ok. He's in a lot of pain, but mostly mobile. He needs to avoid strenuous activity for a month, which is going to be the worst part of it for him because he's very active.

He somehow managed to not hit his head when he landed, but if he had, he hadn't been wearing a helmet. The doctor warned us that with the force he hit the ground, a head injury would have been much more severe. We used to make him wear a helmet, but gave in because none of the other kids in the neighborhood wore one. I was excited that he was getting into bmx. I used to freestyle when I was younger and never wore helmets and managed to escape injury. So while we knew it was utterly fucking stupid to let him ride helmetless, we just got swept along.

So even though his back injury would not have been prevented by a helmet, it's been a hell of a wake-up call for me and my wife. Just wanted to put that out there for everybody.

― how's life, Wednesday, May 3, 2017 3:07 PM (one month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

He recovered from this after about two weeks, by the way, and we've let him go back out on the bike as long as he wears a helmet. Of course twice since then he's come home crying about being the only kid to wear a helmet and how none of his 13-year-old friends had ever heard of anybody dying from not wearing a helmet. "You're taking away my freedom!" It's been fun, let me tell you. But at least his strife tells me he's wearing it.

how's life, Sunday, 4 June 2017 14:27 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Glad to hear hes recovered!

The arc-up reminds me of yesterday tho: bf had bouht a brand new big-boy bed for the youngest. All in flat pack parts of course so when they got home, he tells both boys they are going to help him put it together (I wasnt in a state to help much, my back's effed).

Older (12yo) kid threw an absolute shitfit, because he was being made to help his father and brother instead of spending time on the internet talking to his friends (which he'd been doing for HOURS at that point as it happens). FINE I WILL JUST HAVE TO GO WITHOUT SPEAKING TO MY BEST FRIEND IN ENGLAND WHO I NEVER GET TO TALK TO THEN he wailed dramatically (*this is complete bollocks he talks to this kid almost every effing day ad had been talking to him for hours just prior!).

Apparently having it pointed out to him that he should give helping his own family priority was "a fucking guilt trip" . I forsee the start of self-absorbed, selfish Teen Angst hoveing over the horizon and I am NOT looking forward to it. Its harder when it isnt your own kid for starters - I'm less attached, so I just get Really Fucking Annoyed. I'm worried as to how i'll deal with this shit.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 5 June 2017 00:00 (three weeks ago) Permalink

😡

DJI, Monday, 5 June 2017 01:17 (three weeks ago) Permalink

...did I come across like a bit of a cow with that rant? I hope not :/

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 5 June 2017 01:41 (three weeks ago) Permalink

HELP! My 4yo has suddenly become a frequently enraged pseudo-teenager, full of bile and insult. Is this normal? Will it pass?

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Monday, 5 June 2017 05:01 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Trayce: you come off fine.

James: I hope it will pass or that you'll be able to help her through it. There were a few times when we used to joke that my son was "seven, going on thirteen", but now that he's actually thirteen, the angsty teenager stuff truly is at a totally different level for us.

how's life, Monday, 5 June 2017 12:55 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Trayce, I trick I've learned is that yelling does absolutely nothing to help the situation. Stay calm and just keep repeating 'You're going to help your father and your brother' in a calm voice even if he is yelling. If that doesn't work tell him if he doesn't help out he cant speak to his English friend for a week.

But, yeah, kids be frustrating as hell.

It's always (sunny successor), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 14:07 (three weeks ago) Permalink


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