execrable children's programming pox

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I saw an episode of Doodlebops and holy shit wtf I don't even. I don't have a child but goddam if I did she wouldn't be watching this. Why is this sick stuff legal?

Ed Love (rip van wanko), Friday, 13 January 2012 20:21 (five years ago) Permalink

and don't get me started on Dora the Explorer, good Lord!

Ed Love (rip van wanko), Friday, 13 January 2012 20:24 (five years ago) Permalink

I like the Backyardigans.

It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Friday, 13 January 2012 20:30 (five years ago) Permalink

Peppa Pig is quite often the best thing on telly.

nate woolls, Friday, 13 January 2012 20:30 (five years ago) Permalink

can't stand kids' shows like waybuloo where the characters talk in gibberish. kids are supposed to be learning how to TALK, not how to go "FEEEEmooooo eeeewennn!" - they can do that already quite nicely thanks#

waybuloo also promotes a distinctly pro crystal vibes mystical bullshit ethos imo

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 16 January 2012 15:44 (five years ago) Permalink

The show features four whimsical characters called Piplings who live in Nara and play with real children, referred to as ‘cheebies’. It encourages children to get interested in exercise by showing them a simple version of yoga.

i mean

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 16 January 2012 15:45 (five years ago) Permalink

kids programmes are for kids tbh

little blue souvenir (Noodle Vague), Monday, 16 January 2012 15:48 (five years ago) Permalink

http://www.popartuk.com/g/l/lgPP32337.jpg

Derartu Cthulhu (NickB), Monday, 16 January 2012 15:51 (five years ago) Permalink

the Wiggles/Doodlebops continuum is just abominable

my kid primarily watches two shows: Yo Gabba Gabba and Sesame Street. She's seen Thomas the Train on occasion, and a bunch of episodes of the old Muppet Show.

“How you like that, Mr. Hitler!” (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 20:48 (five years ago) Permalink

NO, wait! This one!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS2hhVHFJrw

It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 21:12 (five years ago) Permalink

Horns and dance moves!!

It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 21:16 (five years ago) Permalink

Really like Backyardigans. Music director is John Lurie's brother! Also, great dancing, fun stories, low pandering factor.

like working at a jewelry store and not knowing about bracelets (Dr. Superman), Wednesday, 18 January 2012 04:44 (five years ago) Permalink

I'd never seen Thomas until recently, but from what I've picked up, each episode seems to be about how one of the trains acts like a total asshole?

Saw an episode of Lazytown a few weeks ago. That was weird. Not certain if I like it.

Spongebob obviously supposed to skew a little older, but more than half the time, I want to set my TV on fire after watching it.

My favorite thing on earth right now is Chica on the Sunny-Side Up Show. I was home sick for a week with my daughter recently and she got so happy about that little chicken puppet. It brings tears to my eyes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz1i4exvVMA

beachville, Wednesday, 18 January 2012 14:27 (five years ago) Permalink

My son was into Doodlebops briefly when he was a lot younger. I don't impose my tastes on the kids, because they can attach so much personal significance to the stuff they like. You know, they're like "Doodlebops are awesome! I want to be a Doodlebop!" And you can't be all like "No son, Doodlebops are LAME." I was really glad when he moved on to something else, though.

beachville, Wednesday, 18 January 2012 14:32 (five years ago) Permalink

Fresh Beat Band is more tolerable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8RYs2iEgvg

beachville, Wednesday, 18 January 2012 14:35 (five years ago) Permalink

I don't impose my tastes on the kids

how old is your kid...?

“How you like that, Mr. Hitler!” (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 18 January 2012 17:46 (five years ago) Permalink

cuz I mean before a certain age they're incapable of making media choices on their own

“How you like that, Mr. Hitler!” (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 18 January 2012 17:47 (five years ago) Permalink

Well, on the older one. He's almost 8. I've been his parent since he was 4. I've never asked him to turn something off for the sole reason that I didn't like it. There would have to be some kind of content issue, and there usually isn't.

beachville, Wednesday, 18 January 2012 19:07 (five years ago) Permalink

ah okay that makes sense. Yeah once my daughter can figure out how to turn on the TV and play music on the stereo by herself I expect to limit my role to one of establishing ground rules for how much she can watch and monitoring questionable/adult content. But at this point (she's 4) she pretty much is only exposed to the music and the TV shows that I choose for her, so I'm always surprised when people complain about the tastes of toddlers or whatever - like, if you're annoyed that they love a particular Disney song so much, maybe you shouldn't have taken them to the movie etc.

“How you like that, Mr. Hitler!” (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 18 January 2012 20:00 (five years ago) Permalink

they learn it from their friends, child minders, etc. it's sick. my three year old is intimately acquainted with the entire cast of peppa pig despite us having never played it to him, ever.

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 18 January 2012 20:12 (five years ago) Permalink

Johnny Test is so awful. I didn't even realize it until tonight when I was consciously trying to decide how much I really liked my son's tv shows. It dawned on me: every time this show comes on, I completely tune out or wander off to do the dishes or something.

It may be the noisiest show I've ever heard. It's completely reliant on repetitive soundtrack motifs the way that shitty sitcoms were completely reliant on laughtracks to let you know when the jokes happened. It's just wall-to-wall clanging.

beachville, Thursday, 19 January 2012 01:09 (five years ago) Permalink

haha, otm. that is one of the few shows we make the kids turn off.

buzza, Thursday, 19 January 2012 01:43 (five years ago) Permalink

I saw Harvey Feierstein on Sesame Street the other day. Everything was coming up noses.

Full Frontal Newtity (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 25 January 2012 20:32 (five years ago) Permalink

guys so i'm guessing your kids are pretty young you should watch yo gabba gabba while it's still not weird. it's the best show!

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Thursday, 26 January 2012 23:56 (five years ago) Permalink

my kid is almost 13 now and he likes icarly.

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Thursday, 26 January 2012 23:57 (five years ago) Permalink

I heard pre-K kids talking about Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. For the first time, I was all "those two better not fuck up like Brittany and Miley."

pplains, Friday, 27 January 2012 00:37 (five years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Add Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitsu to this list, please.

beachville, Thursday, 8 March 2012 01:20 (five years ago) Permalink

five months pass...

Annoying Orange ftw

the same dope water as you (how's life), Tuesday, 21 August 2012 22:23 (five years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Will the children of the future remember Annoying Orange with the same fondness that we remember Bugs Bunny or whatever?

sorcery is in the gutter (how's life), Wednesday, 17 October 2012 12:21 (five years ago) Permalink

"my kid is almost 13 now and he likes icarly.

― hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Thursday, January 26, 2012 5:57 PM (8 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink"

hell, I like iCarly

BLOCKY 4 LYFE (sunny successor), Friday, 19 October 2012 14:40 (five years ago) Permalink

My fav shows beats watches are fairly oddparents, danny phantom and spiderman and his amazing friends (the series with firestar and iceman). Henry is strictly yo gabba. Before gabba he just wasn't interested in tv. what a weirdo.

BLOCKY 4 LYFE (sunny successor), Friday, 19 October 2012 14:44 (five years ago) Permalink

eight months pass...

my toddler's super into Twisted Whiskers. It's a whole TV series designed, I guess, to promote a line of greeting cards from American Greetings? Well, here"

)

Twisted Whiskers is a childrens series developed in 2010 for entertainment and American Greeting has used some information for greeting cardsTwisted Whiskers is a design for greeting cards developed and licensed by American Greetings and created by Terrill Bohlar since 2001. It includes digitally modified photos of animals, creating a caricature. The series includes greeting cards, gift items, wrapping paper, notepads and holiday items. Animated e-cards and instant messenger products have been produced as well. In 2011, American Greetings relaunched the line with the release of greeting cards featuring lenticular designs, showing a pet turning into a trademark character of the Twisted Whiskers line.

Oh, here's one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4IGomyth9U&feature=c4-overview&list=UUWTogLTWpjItvnLSKJJUtLA

how's life, Wednesday, 19 June 2013 23:21 (four years ago) Permalink

There's a fuckton of it on Netflix.

how's life, Wednesday, 19 June 2013 23:22 (four years ago) Permalink

Beatrice loves twisted whiskers too. I was amazed they made a series based off of greeting cards. I mean they must be selling a shit ton of those cards to make a tv show cost prohibitive.

We dont watch "TV" much anymore. Its all Netflix. Henry is mad into Oscars Oasis and Pingu. To us these are interesting choices as they have no real dialogue and Henry has delayed speech development. The weird thing about that being he can understand everything he hears but cant say much back too clearly.

educate yourself to this reality (sunny successor), Thursday, 20 June 2013 14:03 (four years ago) Permalink

fuckton shit ton. what charming parents we are.

educate yourself to this reality (sunny successor), Thursday, 20 June 2013 14:06 (four years ago) Permalink

eight months pass...

Been having total bummer-thoughts about animal cartoons with mixed-species casts and poorly-matched life expectancies. Take Wonder Pets for example. You have a guinea pig (life expectancy 4-5 years), a duck (life expectancy 10-20 years*), and a turtle (life expectancy decades). Realize this is not the programs fault and is really more indicative of my own mental state. Not exclusive to the Wonder Pets, obvs. Could easily transpose to Looney Tunes or whatever. Had to share this with someone though and I'm just adding to my list of things I'm sure as hell not gonna bring up in front of the kids.

*Presuming with the name Ming Ming that she is a Mandarin Duck.

set the trolls for the heart of the sun (how's life), Monday, 3 March 2014 12:18 (three years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

Beatrice loves twisted whiskers too. I was amazed they made a series based off of greeting cards. I mean they must be selling a shit ton of those cards to make a tv show cost prohibitive.

― educate yourself to this reality (sunny successor), Thursday, June 20, 2013 10:03 AM (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Just learned recently that American Greetings was also responsible for Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake, and (my favorite when I was 4) The Get Along Gang.

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Get-Along_Gang_cartoon_group.jpg

Anyway, lately my youngest has been into H20: Mermaid Adventures on Netflix, a cartoon reboot of an Australian live-action show. It's corny as hell but I'm actually enjoying it and try to subtly hint for it instead of another round of Octonauts or whatever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNa_fMQO8R4

how's life, Friday, 2 December 2016 17:17 (eleven months ago) Permalink

i would take the shittiest cheapest narrative cartoon over the youtube videos my kids now watch of people just opening and describing toys

na (NA), Friday, 2 December 2016 17:51 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I want to find the guy who came up with this series, lock him up in a room somewhere....

http://i.imgur.com/FnrbFzU.png

pplains, Saturday, 3 December 2016 02:50 (eleven months ago) Permalink

hate shimmer & shine, littlest pet shop, the new strawberry shortcake, shopkins, mlp: equestria girls, paw patrol, lalaloopsy, lalaloopsy, i really cannot state enough how much i hate lalaloopsy, bubble guppies, mickey's clubhouse

all of these shows my children love

Mordy, Saturday, 3 December 2016 03:03 (eleven months ago) Permalink

lazy town is super creepy. luckily my kids don't like it.

Mordy, Saturday, 3 December 2016 03:04 (eleven months ago) Permalink

We Bare Bears, on the other hand, see also Adventure Time, and to a lesser extent Regular Show, I happily watch them without the kids there.

vickyp, Wednesday, 7 December 2016 13:30 (eleven months ago) Permalink

steven universe and adventure time are both a++ shows that my kids are not half as interested in as i am

Mordy, Wednesday, 7 December 2016 14:35 (eleven months ago) Permalink

i would take the shittiest cheapest narrative cartoon over the youtube videos my kids now watch of people just opening and describing toys

omfg these are THE WORST

there's one of a dude ordering his wife to play with a Thomas toy set a certain way that my kids were playing on repeat for a while that is unberable and had me on the verge of going full Luddite

¶ (DJP), Wednesday, 7 December 2016 17:37 (eleven months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNaTZV8qS1I

nomar, Wednesday, 7 December 2016 17:40 (eleven months ago) Permalink

^^^ this OTOH made me laugh really, really loudly

¶ (DJP), Wednesday, 7 December 2016 17:40 (eleven months ago) Permalink

i can't believe how much Thomas i've watched. i think that phase is maybe over. i think we've talked about this before DJP but i feel like the creepy dictatorship of Sodor seems to indicate to me a nazi victory on the mainland and there's sort of "Train in the High Castle" shit that's going on. basing this entirely on my theory of topham hatt being a former Gestapo with sadistic methods, cf walling up Henry as punishment and what not, the constant terror the trains live in of being turned into scrap, etc.

nomar, Wednesday, 7 December 2016 17:49 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I am 100% down with a "Life Is Beautiful And Really Useful" reading of Thomas and Friends

¶ (DJP), Wednesday, 7 December 2016 17:58 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Bing is sweet, but the impression it gives is of some far-future post-human utopia where genetically engineered "human" animal children are cared for by AIs in the bodies of toys

Bernard, about an accident-prone and bad-tempered polar bear, is quite good, but occasionally horrifyingly sadistic

I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Thursday, 8 December 2016 00:21 (eleven months ago) Permalink

MARCOS MY CHILDREN HAVE WATCHED THAT ONE

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Monday, 6 November 2017 22:44 (two weeks ago) Permalink

but from now on I'm gonna build up a playlist of things I have personally vetted and only watch those.

I do this, but it seems impossible to avoid YT just playing whatever the fuck it wants when a playlist is over, is my worry. At least on the AppleTV app

stet, Monday, 6 November 2017 22:45 (two weeks ago) Permalink

lol no way xp

marcos, Monday, 6 November 2017 22:45 (two weeks ago) Permalink

That is def one of the videos where we went "okay we cannot just put Youtube on and let it cycle through random things" because we did not choose that for our kids to watch

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Monday, 6 November 2017 22:45 (two weeks ago) Permalink

my embed didn't work huh. LETS TRY AGAIN WHY NOT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9QOGFX2gos&t=737s

marcos, Monday, 6 November 2017 22:45 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Finger family videos are plenty dumb and often pretty weird, but they are recognizable kid culture, with a reasonable level of tie-in to developmentally appropriate things. It's no worse than the very similar and venerable "Where is Thumbkin."

The phenomenon I do NOT get is "Johnny Johnny Yes Papa" which is even more annoying and has no clear genesis, it just keeps happening.

YouTube Kids is, of course, cleaner than normal YouTube but is still plenty weird.

Careful with that Ax, Emanuel (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 6 November 2017 22:48 (two weeks ago) Permalink

toy freaks was legit alarming imo

marcos, Monday, 6 November 2017 22:49 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Finger family videos are plenty dumb and often pretty weird, but they are recognizable kid culture

yea a lot of this doesn't seem that far off from idk teletubbies

marcos, Monday, 6 November 2017 22:50 (two weeks ago) Permalink

The first time I saw Johnny Johnny Yes Papa, I was certain someone had slipped me acid.

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Monday, 6 November 2017 22:50 (two weeks ago) Permalink

The boy has come home from nursery singing that more than once. Now I’m wondering just how much YT he is getting there

stet, Monday, 6 November 2017 22:55 (two weeks ago) Permalink

wow, that animals for kids stuff is wild

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Monday, 6 November 2017 22:59 (two weeks ago) Permalink

yeah it's amazing. the version of 'buried alive' Bridle links to had a low hit count but other Animals For Kids uploads of the same video total 20 million+ views

I remember Teletubbies being the moment when TV officially sanctioned going after the 6-24 month old demographic; everyone agreed the content was well-meaning, the issue was whether or not it was morally ok to target viewers that young, but babies were just magnetized by that stuff and so it became a moot point. this feels like a breakthrough moment where the people targeting that demographic are getting competitive and creating edgier and edgier content to attract audiences -- there's still an attempt at a moral center in some of these (the superheroes usually end up winning by the end) but the ride on the way there -- there isn't 10 seconds of this I think unsupervised children should be watching

the NYT's article about this yesterday was a little more button-pushing, but the stuff they linked to was even edgier

Milton Parker, Monday, 6 November 2017 23:12 (two weeks ago) Permalink

With my children the worst stuff is always a passing phase. My daughter went through a brief period of watching deliberately grating things (Annoying Orange, Battle for Dream Island). It was during a gap when she didn't particularly like kid's shows (Dora/My Little Pony) anymore, but she hadn't yet gotten interested in tweenier stuff. And now she mostly just reads books, so it's working out okay.

My son sometimes falls into a rut of something pretty stupid, but he tires of it and moves on to something else.

Sometimes he rediscovers something he used to like, and gets back into it. He recently rediscovered Signing Time, which were the first videos he watched (back when we thought he might be deaf). Indeed, for a while, he signed "Time!" to mean all videos for a while. And then it will be on to something else.

Given the transitory nature of all this, I don't have the energy or time to vet and control his video input. The cost/benefit ratio just isn't there for me. Some day he may see chance to see something inappropriate, but I assume we'll just process that as we would any other unpleasant thing that happens from time to time.

Careful with that Ax, Emanuel (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 6 November 2017 23:15 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I thought this comment underneath the medium post was interesting:

I just remembered I was discussing this with someone once and we came to the conclusion that they should essentially be called “fetish videos aimed at children.” The slavish devotion to search terms and SEO’d nonsense video titles has given rise to a… well, fetishistic product. You can look at the thumbnails and see it. Superheroes, costumes, taped up/tied up women. Syringes, blood, inappropriate gore. Crying is popular on thumbnails. The videos showing people dressed up as Frozen characters and doing something against their will. The main fetishistic aspect of it is, of course, for each of these videos there are probably a hundred more like it. Add in that all of these channels are weirdly foreign and seem to be imitating more popular channels and I think the fact that the strange knockoffs are on theoretically the same footing as established and legitimate channels adds to the general disturbing atmosphere.

soref, Monday, 6 November 2017 23:17 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I had no idea wtf Johnny Johnny Yes Papa was when my kid was saying it for a while. It had just come up in auto play after a parade video or something. Theres so much insane garbage on YouTube that we basically disabled it on the iPad and if he watches stuff in it it’s videos we’ve downloaded and put there on purpose. Works out cause we mostly reserve it as the nuclear option on car or plane trips.

Say what you will about Dinosaur Train and Wild Kratts but when he watches those he gets all his dinosaurs and trains and plays with them while watching and tells us facts about dinosaurs or animals for days. With YouTube he basically just goes catatonic and stares.

joygoat, Monday, 6 November 2017 23:31 (two weeks ago) Permalink

procedurally generated fetish porn targeted at children. wonderful.

burn the internet to the ground.

bob lefse (rushomancy), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 12:24 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Yabbut some of these oddities have a weirdly charming moral core.

There's a version of "Baa Baa Black Sheep" where new verses extol charity (giving clothes to homeless children) and prudent savings. There are also versions of "Johnny Johnny..." that regard naughtiness as played out and take a turn toward healthy habits ("eating broccoli?"). A version of "Humpty Dumpty," apparently subcontinental in origin, becomes a safety parable.

Careful with that Ax, Emanuel (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 12:44 (two weeks ago) Permalink

finger family is giving me a full on panny

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 12:47 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Yabbut some of these oddities have a weirdly charming moral core.

― Careful with that Ax, Emanuel (Ye Mad Puffin)

my god, have things truly gotten so awful that edutainment is now considered "charming"?

bob lefse (rushomancy), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 13:22 (two weeks ago) Permalink

good call on Teletubbies being the origin of this sort of thing, I hadn't really thought of that.

I try to push my kid (who is almost 3) towards stuff like Sesame Street, but that's mostly for selfish reasons, because I find it entertaining (or at least moreso than anything else he wants to watch). He's mostly drawn to BabyFirst TV, which has some of the shoddiest, most low-budget animation imaginable, some of which is not so dissimilar to the stuff linked in that article. They even have a Teletubby knockoff featuring three very creepy animatronic mice - my wife and I joke that half the channel's budget went into those mouse costumes.

frogbs, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 14:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I found some of the BabyFirst stuff fascinating but that creepy devil tractor needs to go immediately.

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 14:54 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I'm not quite sure what's going on with that show either. I feel like it's made in the Ukraine or something and just dubbed over in the States. It's not like there's any information online.

My kid definitely goes through some phases with that channel. He LOVES "Mio Mao", this Italian claymation show from the 70's that they just licensed out. It is bizarre but pretty charming. I like it. He was into Harry the Bunny for a while until they made it into "Harry & Larry", after which he lost interest. That was funny to me because that was kinda like him experiencing his first pop culture disappointment. Both my kids love "Tillie Knock Knock" which I find amusing simply because they (apparently) make two people do all the voices. The frustrating thing is that I just have no idea when any of this stuff is on, since they have like 10 different names for "assorted programming" and none of this stuff is ever like, "on" in the listings.

frogbs, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:09 (two weeks ago) Permalink

my sons and i were reading the original rev. w. audry thomas the tank engine stories last night and you know what those stories suck and i think they execreble. i couldn't even understand what the fuck is going on in most of these stories, they are incomprehensible gibberish. "poop poop!" said thomas cheekily. "poo poo!" whistled gordon crossly.

marcos, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:10 (two weeks ago) Permalink

so is there a "good children's programming" thread? I'm taking any & all recommendations for the granddaughters, who are almost 3 1/2 and 1 respectively, but there might be a better thread to bump

sleeve, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:11 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I loved Mio Mao when I was young! Amazing that's still around and being watched!

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:16 (two weeks ago) Permalink

We didn't do screens till 2.

A 3.5er can and should gorge on pre-HBO Sesame; there's a lot out there. I rather like the Tina Fey "Pirates of the Care-to-be-Readin'" disc.

piezoelectric landlord (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:17 (two weeks ago) Permalink

yeah we're down with the no-screens-til-2 thing (parents are a bit more liberal/slack but they do pretty good), just wanted to mention that a younger one is coming up and will also watch video at some point, so we wanna pick up a few things now. thanks!

sleeve, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:20 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Good children's programming

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:35 (two weeks ago) Permalink

ty

sleeve, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:35 (two weeks ago) Permalink

maybe relevant to this discussion - there seem to be a bunch of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse videos on YouTube that do pretty much everything possible to get around Disney's copyright detection algorithm, including increasing the speed, flipping the screen, and dropping out big chunks of the show. they're completely unwatchable but I assume someone's making a quick buck there.

frogbs, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:54 (two weeks ago) Permalink

My "favorites" are the MMC "episodes" that turn out to be video of some terrible tie-in game

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 15:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

sorry to be That Guy but we don't let our kids watch TV or YouTube except on special occasions and i gotta say it works out GREAT. and if you think "it's too late, can't put the genie back in the bottle" well, in our case at least, we totally could. we used to let them watch cbeebies every day, but the crying and whining about how many episodes they could watch, and the screaming when the TV got turned off, was eventually just too much for us so we just shut it down for good. it only took three or four (hellish) days for them to stop asking about it. when grandparents are over the kids get to watch some TV, usually DVDs brought by the grandparents, and sometimes as a reward for good behaviour we'll let the oldest one watch graffiti stuff on YT but i watch that shit like a HAWK (or at least keep an ear out). no way am i going to let them just follow "watch next" links, i just do not trust that shit at all.

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 16:02 (two weeks ago) Permalink

no way am i going to let them just follow "watch next" links, i just do not trust that shit at all.

You shouldn't, it gets weird and terrible very quickly.

For us, we have the TV on as background noise constantly so putting it on their channels made sense for us. So far the whining has been manageable (and there's been little-to-no screaming when the TV goes off).

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 16:05 (two weeks ago) Permalink

good god you are blessed. honestly.

speaking of thomas the tank engine this is at least as disturbing as anything in the algorithmic shite factory article:

https://youtu.be/iO6qIM2WO6k?t=168

"i think he deserved his punishment, don't you?"

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 16:07 (two weeks ago) Permalink

yea we don't do any screen time either. our kids are 2 and 5. it's not wholly an intentional thing, we just don't watch a lot of TV ourselves and don't own any tablets or anything. though i think our older kid's autism diagnosis made us a little more firm about it since screen time is especially not recommended for young kids with autism. it does make things easier in general i think. i don't judge folks who do. there are a lot of times when we've thought it would be a nice thing for them to do while we're cooking dinner or whatever, but instead we just let them play on their own with trains, cars, outside in the yard, etc.

marcos, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 16:10 (two weeks ago) Permalink

old-skool Thomas is terrifying; did you ever see the one where they were laughing about lorries driving off of mountains?

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 16:25 (two weeks ago) Permalink

"i think he deserved his punishment, don't you?"

lool

marcos, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 16:27 (two weeks ago) Permalink

sorry to be That Guy but we don't let our kids watch TV or YouTube except on special occasions and i gotta say it works out GREAT.

I am increasingly thinking about this. We have clamped right down on portable screens — no iPad at all except on flights, no phones except in extremis, eg in the restaurant that inexplicably took 40 minutes to bring our food.

TV he has had daily, tbh, in restricted amounts at breakfast time and bedtime. Breakfast time because schedules mean it's often him left unsupervised in the flat while the adult in charge is showering, and TV is a reasonable way of stopping him climbing the bookcase or other lethal activities. Bedtime because it's a good mood manager — 30 mins of watching brings him down from late-evening mania.

I think we could definitely go without at bedtime, once we trust his behaviour a bit more probably go without at breakfast time too.

stet, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 17:01 (two weeks ago) Permalink

We just recently started turning off the TV 30 min before bedtime because without it, they're much more likely to go to bed without argument; sometimes they'll go early and ask for extra stories which is A++

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 18:39 (two weeks ago) Permalink

We experimentally began allowing a 1/2 hour of screen time per weekday and 1 hour on the weekends when my son was turning 2. We've held it at that level for a year and he doesn't seem to want any more.

President Keyes, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 19:54 (two weeks ago) Permalink

What, I thought Jonny Jonny Yes Papa was an American thing?! It's on Little baby Bum and other nursery rhyme things like Dave and Ava, absolutely baffled by it. Telling lies, ah ah ah

Son also likes appalling quality knock-off animations which is particularly hilarious as his dad is fairly senior in VFX/animation and it pains him

kinder, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:36 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Little Baby Bum is out of India IIRC; I had never heard that song before encountering that video, which was honestly one of the most perplexing experiences of my life.

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:38 (two weeks ago) Permalink

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/johnny-johnny-yes-papa

apparently someone just made the damn thing up 8 years ago

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:40 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Right. It seems to be of Indian origin and recent - not, like a lot of YTK vids, an Indian version of an Anglophone nursery rhyme. Which would be fine if it were not also stupid.

piezoelectric landlord (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:43 (two weeks ago) Permalink

F's crafty "no papa" face makes it all worthwhile for me

stet, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:47 (two weeks ago) Permalink

My son flipped the script and indicated that we should do Daddy Daddy? / Yes Sammy? / Drinking beer? / No Sammy.

piezoelectric landlord (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:50 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Yeah, that Johnny Johnny 3D thing freaked me the fuck out when I first saw it - I've caught a fair few of these on "weird youtube" and seen some very odd Elsa from Frozen Caesarian Section type games on hosting sites but I think not having (or having much to do with) kids means I may well have missed out some proper weirdo content.

emil.y, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:53 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I still cannot believe that Elsa game exists

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:54 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I just spent a good 30 mins trying to find a Medium post that made waves over the summer abt this "phenomenon", creepy youtube for kids. It was about these youtube clips, seemingly created for children but with bitter, torturous twists (stuff like Peppa Pig being degraded, hurting etc). The comment sections all had comments in some form of code language, seemingly gibberish, but when decoded lead to child pornography websites and degradation porn. No conspiracy (or lunacy) theory stuff here, trust me, it really did lead to horrible websites. But I cannot for the life of me find the medium article any more... :-(

It's probably deleted. Regardless, it's where tl;dr James Bridle got his info from though, but in his Medium article he's only barely scratching the surface.

In short: there's some fucked up stuff just a click away. The digital variant of luring kids makes me nauseous.

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 23:59 (two weeks ago) Permalink


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