This is the thread where we judge other people's parenting

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you gave your kid a BAG OF OREOS and a juicebox for her fucking lunch

PLATYPUS OF DOOM (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:52 (three years ago) Permalink

child protection is a good pretend rationale for another thread of prissy moralistic veiled bigotry

Little Saint Hugh of Lincoln (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:58 (three years ago) Permalink

how dare they let that horrible man hack into their baby monitor!!!!

sarahell, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:59 (three years ago) Permalink

that whole story is lol

PLATYPUS OF DOOM (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 20:06 (three years ago) Permalink

prissy moralistic veiled bigotry

(considers the source of this inspirational quote. moves on.)

Aimless, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 20:10 (three years ago) Permalink

“All that junk she’s buying is just loaded with sugar, too,” said Gaither, identifying with uncanny speed another critical flaw in her fellow shopper’s grocery selection. “No wonder her kids are acting out like that.”

http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-a-leading-authority-on-what-shouldnt-be-in-p,35922/

Little Saint Hugh of Lincoln (nakhchivan), Thursday, 1 May 2014 17:09 (three years ago) Permalink

looooove being gay just so I can judge other people's parenting.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 1 May 2014 17:15 (three years ago) Permalink

loooooove being human just so I can judge other people's parenting.

Euler, Thursday, 1 May 2014 17:16 (three years ago) Permalink

nah when you're gay the difference is couples wanna hang with you because you don't have kids stories to share

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 1 May 2014 17:17 (three years ago) Permalink

do you want some context for my tongue-in-cheek thread nakh or do you just wanna play superior

PLATYPUS OF DOOM (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 May 2014 17:30 (three years ago) Permalink

irl I don't talk to anyone about my kids, & I shun people who want to talk about those sorts of things, so I'm just treating others as I want to be treated.

my own kids are obviously the best but no one else irl needs to hear about that. online it's a different story of course, it's easy to ignore, but irl convos demand too much attention for anyone to be bored

Euler, Thursday, 1 May 2014 17:31 (three years ago) Permalink

or do you just wanna play superior

does he ever play anything else?

it definitely wasn't designed to be a pants pocket player (stevie), Thursday, 1 May 2014 18:44 (three years ago) Permalink

I have no idea, never paid attention to him

PLATYPUS OF DOOM (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 May 2014 18:48 (three years ago) Permalink

lol somehow through the onion article I got to this:
https://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/the-parenting-move-i-couldn-t-help-but-judge-192911788.html

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 1 May 2014 20:04 (three years ago) Permalink

The trend of judging chocolate milk should fucking die.

how's life, Thursday, 1 May 2014 20:09 (three years ago) Permalink

I love that *that* is the parenting move she *couldn't help but judge.* "I've held my tongue for years, but chocolate flavored drink?! I can stand it no more!"

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 1 May 2014 20:12 (three years ago) Permalink

my 7yo niece has atrocious table manners, interrupts conversation constantly, and is granted nearly every whim by by my sister. I judge in silence.

images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 1 May 2014 20:17 (three years ago) Permalink

is the lego movie thread about judging people's parenting for paying to have their children marketed to or is it worse than that?

sarahell, Friday, 2 May 2014 21:35 (three years ago) Permalink

not really altho there's some of that. I don't really see how its any different from any other blockbuster in terms of marketing tbh - apart from the fact that it was pretty fun to watch and was cleverly constructed. which is not something I ever say about Hollywood blockbusters, ftr.

PLATYPUS OF DOOM (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 May 2014 22:03 (three years ago) Permalink

also in true thread spirit - parent the other day who was playing on phone while 5yo child bullied a baby I JUDGE THEE

PLATYPUS OF DOOM (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 May 2014 22:04 (three years ago) Permalink

The one that I hate (yet still sometimes do when I'm out of energy) is the half-hearted "cut it out" followed by... no follow-through.

schwantz, Friday, 2 May 2014 22:20 (three years ago) Permalink

"A diet fueled by food stamps is making South Texans obese but leaving them hungry:"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2013/11/09/too-much-of-too-little/

brimstead, Saturday, 3 May 2014 00:12 (three years ago) Permalink

^for the thread starter

brimstead, Saturday, 3 May 2014 00:12 (three years ago) Permalink

That 'linda, listen' vid just makes me think of how many time that kid saw his dad argue with his mom. And everyone thinks its sooo funny

Dreamland, Saturday, 3 May 2014 00:23 (three years ago) Permalink

http://youtu.be/TP8RB7UZHKI

Dreamland, Saturday, 3 May 2014 00:24 (three years ago) Permalink

I drank a chocolate flavored box drink every morning when I was 5-6 and I turned out fine except for my permanent physical and mental disabilities.

smhphony orchestra (crüt), Saturday, 3 May 2014 04:28 (three years ago) Permalink

i've heard that you're cute, at least

mookieproof, Saturday, 3 May 2014 04:47 (three years ago) Permalink

parent whose child took a shit in the shower at the public pool and left it for someone else to clean up - I JUDGE THEE

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 14 May 2014 15:33 (three years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

I did some LOLing.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 6 August 2014 19:34 (three years ago) Permalink

here, I'll do some judging, too:

Jeff and I were out and about with the kid and a woman was shopping with her toddler and presumably the toddler's grandmother, and the woman picked up the kid and I don't know what happened, but the woman yelled, "OW! Molly!" then put the toddler down and said, "I am DONE WITH YOU." And the toddler cried some fat sad toddler tears and raised her arms up to her mom, who was not having it. Grandma to the rescue.

NOW I don't know what Molly did. She may have stabbed her mom in the face with an OXO Tot baby knife for like the tenth time that day. And I don't have a toddler yet. I have a cute, squishy infant who most of the time is pretty chill and easy to handle (which isn't to say that I haven't been bitten on the nipple or bashed in the mouth with a cute little forehead or kicked in the tit so I get that babies hurt sometimes) and I am generally a big time cuddler but man alive seeing that toddler cry and reach for her mom was rough.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 6 August 2014 19:42 (three years ago) Permalink

i think the most common mistake parents make w/misbehavior is overreacting to something a toddler doesn't understand is wrong or why it's wrong, like i think it's pretty understandable but at the same time you've got to do the calm and kind explanation thing as opposed to the verbal tongue-lashing or silent treatment or even the "time out" (which i think is kind of not partic helpful tbqh.)

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 6 August 2014 20:12 (three years ago) Permalink

also basically i think it's weird to not respond immediately to any time your kid is crying, i guess the theory is you're trying to show them you won't give in or maybe teaching them independence but i think it's pretty wrongheaded. but also some people think little kids are manipulative and not merely scared!

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 6 August 2014 20:16 (three years ago) Permalink

That makes sense to me. It's like the whole mindset that you shouldn't pick up a crying baby because the baby is trying to manipulate you. I mean, the baby IS trying to manipulate you if you want to look at it that way, but only in the same way you are trying to manipulate a restaurant server when you ask for a menu and a glass of water.

xp!!!

So far, I am completely unable to not respond to our child when she's crying. "Cry it out" is right off the table for us, although I'm not saying I won't get to a point where it feels like the right (or only) thing to do.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 6 August 2014 20:27 (three years ago) Permalink

imho i don't think it's ever 100% necessary, but then again we're a couple of hippies over here, we were cosleeping with him for two years until he decided on his own he wanted to sleep in his bed one night and then he never looked back.

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 6 August 2014 20:32 (three years ago) Permalink

I think it's a matter of what works for the kid and for the parents. If the parents are on the edge of sleep deprived psychosis because they are up until 11 trying to comfort a child to sleep, then up two more hours trying to do all of the household chores they couldn't do because they spent three hours putting the kid to bed and can't take two three hour naps throughout the day, crying it out sounds pretty necessary and is probably less harmful than having cranky zombie parents.

But I'm hoping that we won't need to do it because it might kill me.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 6 August 2014 20:50 (three years ago) Permalink

true, we were zombies for awhile. though not really that cranky!

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 6 August 2014 20:57 (three years ago) Permalink

ha, i stopped judging parents who "cry it out" when i realized that our dedicated effort to avoid "cry it out" has probably resulted in more many more hours of crying than our friends' kids who did cry it out

marcos, Wednesday, 6 August 2014 21:03 (three years ago) Permalink

We do a hybrid thing where we go in after 5 minutes and put the pacifier back in and rub the belly for a second then leave again. Then wait 10 minutes and do the same thing. Then 15. None of our three kids went longer than the 15 minute mark. Definitely lessens the blow (for me) and lets them know you are still there for them. After two or three nights they were good to go you just lay em down and they go right to sleep (for the most part). We wouldn't do this until they were at least five or six months tho. Works for us.

Strictly EZ Snappin' Nhex (Spottie), Wednesday, 6 August 2014 23:20 (three years ago) Permalink

Same here--go in very fast the first couple of times, soothe and re-dummy and check nappy/teeth/hunger, then leave it for a bit longer the next time and usually there's calm after a couple of minutes

ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Thursday, 7 August 2014 00:55 (three years ago) Permalink

i think the most common mistake parents make w/misbehavior is overreacting to something a toddler doesn't understand is wrong or why it's wrong, like i think it's pretty understandable but at the same time you've got to do the calm and kind explanation thing as opposed to the verbal tongue-lashing or silent treatment or even the "time out" (which i think is kind of not partic helpful tbqh.)

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, August 6, 2014 9:12 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

also basically i think it's weird to not respond immediately to any time your kid is crying, i guess the theory is you're trying to show them you won't give in or maybe teaching them independence but i think it's pretty wrongheaded. but also some people think little kids are manipulative and not merely scared!

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, August 6, 2014 9:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is pretty much how I want to parent.

"trough lolly"??? (stevie), Thursday, 7 August 2014 12:22 (three years ago) Permalink

Holy shit at that whole "I am DONE WITH YOU" episode upthead. I'm about to cry fat toddler tears just thinking about it.

how's life, Thursday, 7 August 2014 12:28 (three years ago) Permalink

I know. I want to be empathetic to the mother because mothers get so much pressure to be perfect and all that and I don't know her life but it made me super sad, too.

carl agatha, Thursday, 7 August 2014 12:41 (three years ago) Permalink

my littlest played a "game" she called the "Old Buffet" when she was a toddler. it involved chasing us down and then biting us. we were done with that too.

Euler, Thursday, 7 August 2014 13:18 (three years ago) Permalink

also short from abuse, violence, or emotional or other kinds of neglect, there is very little i will judge a parent on. this shit's fucking HARD. i don't care how much of a hippie you are. everybody is exhausted. toddlers are demanding as fuck. it is easy to snap or be irritable if you are on such little sleep and your kid is high-strung and unrelenting.

marcos, Thursday, 7 August 2014 13:27 (three years ago) Permalink

what i will judge is people without kids judging other parents (again, short of the abuse/violence/neglect/etc). i 100% think this is something that is difficult to understand if you haven't lived it.

marcos, Thursday, 7 August 2014 13:28 (three years ago) Permalink

There are all kinds of way to be a bad parent without being abusive, neglectful or violent, though.

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Thursday, 7 August 2014 14:13 (three years ago) Permalink

yea i might be overstating it a little. just saying that everybody will snap at their kids unfairly at some point, probably many times. probably even say some really hurtful shit at some point. it's not great but i think it's shitty to judge it without first having some empathy and self-awareness

marcos, Thursday, 7 August 2014 14:17 (three years ago) Permalink

Oh I'm judging everyone. Everyone!!! I never say anything though, so no one ever knows

Jeff, Thursday, 7 August 2014 14:19 (three years ago) Permalink

like so
//c1.staticflickr.com/1/486/19772086290_35c14f6570_n.jpg

Οὖτις, Friday, 31 July 2015 16:50 (two years ago) Permalink

sleeps like a boss

Οὖτις, Friday, 31 July 2015 16:51 (two years ago) Permalink

I think a lot of it is sleep deprivation.

xp awwww

carl agatha, Friday, 31 July 2015 16:51 (two years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

so my wife's friend that we were concerned would turn out to be a horrible parent is apparently well on her way to turning into a horrible parent - against that admonitions of her friends/family/doctors/the internet since giving birth a little less than a year ago she has the kid watch TV with her (no matter what she's watching), parks the kid in front of the TV on their own, etc. And this is a woman who watches a lot of TV. She is unswayed by arguments about cognitive development - hope yr kid doesn't turn out to be a behavioral nightmare + moro! Glad we live in another city ayiyyiyi

Οὖτις, Friday, 19 August 2016 20:04 (one year ago) Permalink

Welp, the kid will probably grow up to be a heavy consumer of television, just like her/his mom.

socka flocka-jones (man alive), Friday, 19 August 2016 20:07 (one year ago) Permalink

a safe bet

Οὖτις, Friday, 19 August 2016 20:07 (one year ago) Permalink

Miraculous society really, where you can get through life that way and still live to a fairly old age by historical standards.

socka flocka-jones (man alive), Friday, 19 August 2016 20:09 (one year ago) Permalink

allow me my petty feelings of superiority

Οὖτις, Friday, 19 August 2016 20:15 (one year ago) Permalink

growing up we had these neighbors down the block. the dad i never saw, the mom would park herself in front of the television all day and long into the night. there wasn't a single night i drove home past their house that the light from the television couldn't be glimpsed through the window. they had three daughters, each of whom got into increasingly crazy amounts of trouble, and i'm pretty sure the parents never really kept a single eye on them. i just heard that a few days back the mom died sitting on the couch in that same house while watching tv. i hadn't driven by that house since i was 18.

nomar, Friday, 19 August 2016 20:19 (one year ago) Permalink

That has an almost folk tragedy quality to it. She was the John Henry of television watching.

socka flocka-jones (man alive), Friday, 19 August 2016 20:28 (one year ago) Permalink

What are the developmental disadvantages to kids watching tv?

Quarter measures (sunny successor), Friday, 19 August 2016 21:53 (one year ago) Permalink

What are the developmental disadvantages to kids watching tv?

Quarter measures (sunny successor), Friday, 19 August 2016 21:53 (one year ago) Permalink

standard line I hear from childcare professionals (ed directors, Kaiser pediatrics, etc.) is that any screentime prior to the age of 2 or so is not recommended

Οὖτις, Friday, 19 August 2016 21:55 (one year ago) Permalink

American Academy of Pediatrics statement (2011): http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/1040

Οὖτις, Friday, 19 August 2016 22:04 (one year ago) Permalink

How is your baby supposed to become an Einstein without watching a video?

schwantz, Friday, 19 August 2016 22:15 (one year ago) Permalink

I was raised in a limited-television household and my children who have as much access to media (tv, games, phones, computers, tablets) as they want are far more intelligent and mature than I was at their respective ages. Also we keep sweets openly around the house and they eat them rarely, rather than bingeing on them out of scarcity on the rare occasions when they come around. I dunno. I realize that's anecdotal and correlation doesn't equal causation, but it's worked well for us.

how's life, Friday, 19 August 2016 22:19 (one year ago) Permalink

have studies been done on how sub-2-yr-old children react to music?

a confederacy of lampreys (rushomancy), Friday, 19 August 2016 22:32 (one year ago) Permalink

I was 1 yo when TV taught me to speak English. I'd wake up at 6am, turn on the TV and watch 'English for new Australians'.

Quarter measures (sunny successor), Friday, 19 August 2016 22:33 (one year ago) Permalink

my children who have as much access to media (tv, games, phones, computers, tablets)

how old are they? I forget. Bear in mind my comment is strictly about infants - once kids are talking/social/in school etc. it's a different story

Οὖτις, Friday, 19 August 2016 22:35 (one year ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/ESUjomK.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 20 August 2016 00:35 (one year ago) Permalink

IMO that's a mother who knows that making eye contact with a sleepy baby wakes them right up, and is silently cursing the well meaning stranger.

Madchen, Saturday, 20 August 2016 08:52 (one year ago) Permalink

Either that, or she's texting the father to ask where the hell he is, because he was meant to be back 10 minutes ago.

Madchen, Saturday, 20 August 2016 08:53 (one year ago) Permalink

xxxp: 5 and 12, but they watched television or were exposed to it as infants/toddlers. I really wish tablets had been available back when my older kid was little though. The educational games they have now are great.

how's life, Saturday, 20 August 2016 10:34 (one year ago) Permalink

Updated AAP guidance on media for under-twos: http://www.aappublications.org/content/36/10/54">'Beyond 'Turn It Off''

ljubljana, Saturday, 20 August 2016 15:23 (one year ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Guy in facebook neighborhood parent group needlessly interjects pro-gun talk into a thread about a burglary (the victim had actually thwarted the burglarly without a gun, and the burglary only happened because the burglar thought no one was home).

Among other things, he said that his own dad keeps a loaded shotgun on the dresser, and that he doesn't worry about going there with his young daughter because she "doesn't scale things."

Later he posted an unrelated thread about the experience he and his "roommates" had with Verizon fios or something. Lol you no-custody-having, responsibility-shirking manchild motherfucker how about you stop offering opinions on gun safety and home protection.

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Thursday, 8 September 2016 19:26 (one year ago) Permalink

Just realized same dude also posted a pretty pathetic post in another group I'm in about issues with seeing his daughter on weekends -- it actually sounded like his ex was being difficult, but the fool also still had not bothered to get a lawyer and no official custody arrangement had even been set as a result, his ex just had the daughter during the week and then made him jump through a few hoops to get her on the weekends. Dude is just not an adult, basically.

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Thursday, 8 September 2016 19:34 (one year ago) Permalink

ie an average american

Οὖτις, Thursday, 8 September 2016 19:43 (one year ago) Permalink

facebook neighborhood parent group

here's where this all went wrong

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 8 September 2016 19:43 (one year ago) Permalink

ha yes

Οὖτις, Thursday, 8 September 2016 19:45 (one year ago) Permalink

btw this is NYC, so gun nuts are a relative novelty

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Thursday, 8 September 2016 19:57 (one year ago) Permalink

two months pass...

Would you post to facebook photos of your kid sleeping in hospital bed, admitted for meningitis, as well as hospital mask selfies, y/n?

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Tuesday, 8 November 2016 21:54 (one year ago) Permalink

jfc no

harold melvin and the bluetones (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 8 November 2016 21:55 (one year ago) Permalink

yeah, I mean

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Tuesday, 8 November 2016 21:57 (one year ago) Permalink

also, the long-ass post accompanying the hospital mask selfie (which, afaict, depicted a zany, smiling expression) noted that the kid had asked for no more pictures of him to facebook.

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Tuesday, 8 November 2016 21:58 (one year ago) Permalink

But aside from respect for privacy and basic dignity of my own kids, I just cannot imagine being in the state of mind to even THINK to post photos to facebook while that's going on

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Tuesday, 8 November 2016 21:58 (one year ago) Permalink

i took a picture of my cat when he was seriously ill and at the vet for my wife who was at work at the time because she wanted to see how he looked. i then deleted it from my phone because it seemed unseemly and weird to have a picture of a my sick cat.

harold melvin and the bluetones (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 8 November 2016 22:00 (one year ago) Permalink

When my daughter was in the hospital with pneumonia, I don't think I posted anything to facebook, and I post a fucking lot

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Tuesday, 8 November 2016 22:01 (one year ago) Permalink

I would not do that.

Jeff, Tuesday, 8 November 2016 22:11 (one year ago) Permalink

Would you post to facebook photos of your kid sleeping in hospital bed, admitted for meningitis, as well as hospital mask selfies, y/n?

appropriate use of this thread fwiw cuz fuck no

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 8 November 2016 22:19 (one year ago) Permalink

You don't even use Facebook at all!

Not sure if I'd do this. Maybe? When my kid was in the hospital for surgery back in '08, I didn't. Nowadays, maybe? I think I put pictures on Flickr.

schwantz, Tuesday, 8 November 2016 22:55 (one year ago) Permalink

true this was an easy one to answer for me lol :)

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 8 November 2016 22:57 (one year ago) Permalink

but seriously if one of your boys said "please don't post this on facebook!" I assume you would respect his wishes...

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 8 November 2016 22:57 (one year ago) Permalink

Not if it was hilarious.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 8 November 2016 23:01 (one year ago) Permalink

but seriously if one of your boys said "please don't post this on facebook!" I assume you would respect his wishes...

That's true.

schwantz, Tuesday, 8 November 2016 23:53 (one year ago) Permalink

five months pass...

standard line I hear from childcare professionals (ed directors, Kaiser pediatrics, etc.) is that any screentime prior to the age of 2 or so is not recommended

more science: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/05/170504083141.htm

Οὖτις, Thursday, 4 May 2017 23:31 (six months ago) Permalink

Still did it. Judge away!

Jeff, Friday, 5 May 2017 00:22 (six months ago) Permalink

Infant Hercules happily strangled a pair of snakes that slithered into his crib at night, still, no one ever criticizes his parents, Zeus and Alcmene, as bad parents.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 5 May 2017 01:28 (six months ago) Permalink

Are you sure about that

Οὖτις, Friday, 5 May 2017 01:38 (six months ago) Permalink

A google search on: Zeus Alcmene "bad parents", returns 15 unique results, none of which include criticism of their bad parenting. The top search result asserts that the quack of a duck cannot echo, so you can see the high quality of these results right there. So, coupled with my never having heard a peep of criticism directed at Zeus and Alcmene as Heracles parents, I'm reasonably sure. Not positively, though.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 5 May 2017 02:05 (six months ago) Permalink

six months pass...

IDK if this is the right thread, but an acquaintance's two sons (maybe like ages 6 and 8) are currently "live" on facebook playing with random snap filters, and the whole thing just creeps me out. Don't know if it's parent-sanctioned or not.

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Friday, 10 November 2017 21:07 (two weeks ago) Permalink


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