things i didn't say at the record store

record stores should offer overnight lock-ins with a turntable, a comfy chair and a couple of bottles of wine. charge a fee, set a minimum spend amount. would totally get stuck into those crates of 45s that no-one ever has the time to go through

no play testing vinyl records period

my brother used to lock an NYC DJ into his store overnight. they have the best all night digging drugs.

ahhh the dream

i feel bad when i have a record and i don't want to put it in the store because its too nice! so sometimes i don't. i do put the bulk of my discogs stock in the store but not the $$$ stuff where i really have to make sure that the condition stays exactly the same. people manhandle records. and people LOVE to manhandle the most expensive records with no thought of buying them.

i have been known to clasp trees albums to my heaving bosom its true

(especially older stuff that is more delicate. people just aren't as careful as they should be. when i was younger i used to hate it when a store just had covers out and you had to ask to see the record for more expensive stuff but i get it now.)

I bought some records off discogs last week, the seller messaged me that they were about a mile away from me so I could just come and get them and save on postage, so I did, and the guy there said they'd got a big collection in with a load of rare flexis that they decided not to put in the shop because of people fucking them up browsing through them.

It was a good plan to get me to pick up the records because I ended up spending another £50 in the shop.

I stopped going to record stores when I started listening to vaporwave -- there's just no demand or supply

Not much of a market for vapor, I reckon.

people LOVE to manhandle the most expensive records with no thought of buying them.

#truthbombs

they look up every record and stand in one spot for two hours and then spend five bucks

gearing up for selling at a show on the 12th, if anyone tries this at my table they are banned immediately. go bother someone else, digging space is at a premium

good luck at the show.

i opened up and put on a live Pretenders boot from 1980 and the first person through the door had to tell me that he never listened to the Pretenders until he heard "Brass In Pokcet" and got physically aroused. he kinda liked them after that. i will have to live with that little tidbit until the day i die.

You know, we are all Pretenders to some degree in this crazy world, in life, until the day we die

What I mean by that is that from now on I'm going to have to pretend you didn't share that story with us.

haha, sorry! i needed to share my pain.

new band name:

"Brass In Pokcet"

is that Brass In Pocket, or are you just happy to... hear the Pretenders?

I inherited a signed copy of The Pretenders' first LP from my grandpa. it's otherwise a £1 record, do people want signed Pretenders records? just wondering

someone might!

i am a record dealer who has zero interest in autographs. i do have a copy of black sabbath s/t signed by all four demons but even that i don't get that excited by. i have two early westbound funkadelic records and they came from different places and on both george clinton uses the word "bitch" and "dog" in his inscription. those are kinda cool.

i feel like they weirdly complicate my life. sometimes i just pretend they aren't there. does a signed maria muldaur record raise the price? by how much? who cares!!??

I don't care about autographs either. I have CDs signed by Paul Collins and the guitarist from D.R.I. but I didn't ask them to sign them they just did (bought them at gigs)

i go on discogs right now and this is the first thing i see on my store page:

"mickey hart" AUTOGRAPH on front. looks legit and matches online examples of his signature but not authenticated in any way.

its just so boring.

I've got a few signed records, but I treat it as a neat bonus and not something I'm seeking out or paying extra to get.

the only way an autograph would mean anything to me is if I was the one who procured it from the artist

generally would favor a previous owner's name in sharpie over signatures. especially if I buy a few from the same collection.

I am dispersing my dead friend's record collection back into the universe, he had a signed Sparks 12"! that was pretty cool. we gave it to his brother.

generally would favor a previous owner's name in sharpie over signatures. especially if I buy a few from the same collection.

i've got a few lps where the previous owner was a local musician and/or critic. who would have thought michael morley was once a fan of the international submarine band?

I bought a shoegaze-era Boo Radleys 12" at the weekend, on the inner sleeve is written "happy 18th Flamp Damp from Afterbirth + Aunty Jags xxx". Flamp Damp must be pushing 50 now.

Almost every time I’m at the store, someone asks me “Are these all your records?”

Meaning, I suppose, “is this your personal collection that you’re now selling?”

Which is a weird thing to ask someone at their store.

Runner up: “Have you listened to all of these?”

I’m gonna go into a clothing boutique and be like “Are all these your clothes? Have you worn them all?”

“Are these all your gyros ?”

I guess “are these all your records?” depends on inflection and I definitely could see people credulously asking that

I could also see the emphasis differently, asking if you have any more records that aren’t on the store display floor?

Yeah, they’re definitely not looking for more records when they ask.

Another thing people — including other small-time dealers — often ask is, “where do you get your records?” Like, motherfucker, that’s a trade secret. I’m not gonna invite you to come dip your bucket in my well.

Ha, "are these all your records" is definitely one of the top questions asked by "dads walking around the store like its a museum" types.

Twice in the last few weeks young-ish (like late teens, early 20s) customers have asked me where they can get a "record player with one of those big horn things on top" to play their records on. I had to explain an antique gramophone is probably not the best option. But then I googled and saw amazon sells some shitty new version of them so I'll probably just walk into the ocean later.

“I played my new T Swift album on my gramophone and it sounds all scratchy and hyperpop. How can I stop this from happening.”

it's the next vaporwave

record stores should offer overnight lock-ins with a turntable, a comfy chair and a couple of bottles of wine. charge a fee, set a minimum spend amount. would totally get stuck into those crates of 45s that no-one ever has the time to go through

― blazin' squab (NickB), Monday, October 30, 2023 10:22 PM (four weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

I saw a news story about a record store that does exactly this! Crazy days...

indeed! was a bit of chat about that on this thread...

Shady scams and other silly business ideas to take advantage of earnest new vinyl collectors

i had a nice chat with mark from the old record peddler shop in manchester uk. he came in with some friends. and yes i did grill him pretty good for Factory artist stories. i always want more vini reilly tidbits. it must have been so cool to get FAC releases hot off the press for your shop in the 80s!

https://www.mdmarchive.co.uk/gfx/7061/400-1.jpg

penn jillette came in the other day. he's really nice. he was bugging out over the weird stuff i have. and he was very complimentary. said really nice stuff about the store. he bought a huge box of comedy records from us 10 years ago or so and we shipped them to him in las vegas and he said he was still getting through them all. but he's a busy guy. no time to listen to records! he's from Greenfield. i forgot to give him a t-shirt. he's so damn tall. i also forgot to ask him if he had checked out the new Cheech & Chong pot dispensary down the street a block. speaking of comedy.

You ever listen to this? I was always curious myself...

https://i.discogs.com/fNMqpkbYh3oC7hBqZS5wOVIozKbPK9lDxrveVknFhXA/rs:fit/g:sm/q:90/h:600/w:597/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTE5MDI5/OTUtMTI1MTMwNDg0/NC5qcGVn.jpeg

way too obvious things you find in records...

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/411637381_10161633782097137_7926552940571295852_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=3635dc&_nc_ohc=RtiLLQr6tvUAX9BETb3&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.xx&oh=00_AfBVqOYKn1Y0G_Ecu3uHGGTw_jWkvS4gZnyxx_bgfCRAyA&oe=65896FF0

That’s oregano brah

Scott to clarify I was legitimately asking if you knew about that "Captain Howdy" project, cause that's really Penn

oh yeah sure i remember the captain howdy but i don't recall offhand what it sounds like. i know i heard it in my days of listening to shimmy disc stuff. i almost brought it up to him at the store!

I've always hoped to find a pot leaf or a 10-strip of acid or something, but the only drugs I've found in a record was a single stem in a copy of Goody Goody.

https://i.discogs.com/goKcSTC5bF9q_gRaITx9lGkoQnaDtCWXGUu4ezmdsc8/rs:fit/g:sm/q:40/h:300/w:300/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTI1Mzgy/MjAwLTE2NzAzMDYw/MjQtNzcwNy5wbmc.jpeg

If this is a dumb question I know Scott will say so (and possibly save me some embarrassment), so here it goes: I’ve thankfully made it to the stage of my life where I can afford the records I love but buying from Discogs has been a nightmare (e.g., the two common issues are unreported hairline scratches and sending me the wrong pressing). Is there a service (or maybe record shops do this) where I give someone a list of the several hundred records I want and they track them down and ship them to me? Maybe they’d get 10% of the cost or something?