things i didn't say at the record store

no, INXS records are not the hardest records to find. How often do you look for them? Just buy them online. stop coming in here once every six months and asking me if i have any. you can buy their entire catalog on CD online for about 10 dollars + shipping and handling. you could even get their first 6 albums on vinyl and pay around....i dunno, a hundred and something. and you probably only want the swing, listen like thieves, and kick anyway. so, 60 bucks + shipping for nice copies? but it's fun to find them "in the wild". right? but...i mean...don't you ever want to listen to them? just buy them already and then i won't ever need to see you because apparently they are the only band you are interested in. because you never ever buy anything else in my well-stocked record store.

I get people like this at my table at every show I do

although usually it is more "specific genre x" than one band

actually the part about buying them online i did say and i also said that they could have them on their doorstep TOMORROW. it still didn't work. because they want to find them for 50 cents or some shit like that? idiots...

"do you have an african psych section?" that one always cracks me up. what am i Other Music? and if i was Other Music i would still not have one because i would be out of business.

i love when people say "i don't want to buy it online i'd rather give you the money" because it is always said by someone who has never ever given me money.

this thread can be for customers too! say what you wanted to say to that no-good scrubby beardo behind the counter.

I'm giving this store the worst possible rating: Very Good

"Jesus, get that fucking kid out of here!"

dropping shit on the floor...

*ring ring ring*

"record store!"
"ya'll buy records?"
"where are you?"
"Dresden"
"Germany?"
"Tennessee"
"Oh. You should call some of the big Knoxville stores. They have all the money. Good luck!"

i said all that so i don't know why i'm posting it here...

Best thread ever.

I get people like this at my table at every show I do

― out-of-print LaserDisc edition (sleeve), Wednesday

never understood the people that do this, just march up to the table, dont even glance at the boxes, and go "DO YOU HAVE ANY ALICE COOPER??" Like, you came all the way out, you've got the records right in front of you at your fingertips - flip through for a minute, enjoy yourself!

there was a picture disc guy who used to do this at the local shows. GOT ANY PICTURE DISCS??? go to next table. GOT ANY PICTURE DISCS. repeat. all day.

wow you are really inspecting those ONE DOLLAR records very very carefully. can never be too careful. and when i see you agonizing over a ONE DOLLAR purchase i start to think: maybe i should just get rid of all the dollar records. you know what, i think that's what i'll do. not that i have anything against people who want dollar records. i love dollar records! and unlike some places, my dollar records are clean. which you know because you have been here a million times. and not because i want to be snooty and price people out who are on a budget. no, i'm going to get rid of them because i literally can't watch you hold a dollar record up to the light one more time in my life. it pains me.

oh god yes

again I bet every store/seller has one of these types

he found a friend! they are both on the ground and i can hear them but i can't see them. i did hear one of them say: "I mean for a dollar i'll take a chance..."

sometimes you have to be bold and take chances in life!

“Can you shut up and die already, you Gordon Ramsey looking motherfucker, I’m trying to browse and I really don’t want to hear you loudly brag about all the cool records you found last week or in 1991 or whatever”

as a customer, these days the only time i'm tempted to grumble a snarky comment is when i'm in the biggest vinyl shop in my city, where aside from the owner the staff is all hip kids in their 20s. and literally every time i'm in there, i can see that they're listening to Spotify over the store PA, not records. i'm not a fascist about formats but i always want to say "seriously? you cant find a few records you might want to play in this big ol store?"

wow I was under the impression that rule #1 of a store was "never play anything that's not there for sale"

"FREE YOURSELF! You don't actually have to stand next to him while he shops for records. There is a park down the street. A lovely boutique next door. And around the corner is the saturday farmer's market! Lots of things to see. He can call you when he's done. Just please promise that you won't let him hand you records to hold for him while he shops. Because I might have to actually pop the next guy who does that in the snoot. He doesn't hold your stuff for you at your favorite...uh...lady store, does he? I should say not. We have books here. Look at some books! Here is one about relationships in the 21st century. Kidding. On second thought, just RUN!"

Why do you have so few used records and so many reissues of widely available records?

I took my mom to Amoeba once. As I was paying she asked the clerk if I had good taste. What's he gonna say? "Nah this stuff sucks"

lol

DId she ask your friends about you when you were growing up?

my window is all books now. just felt like it. it's summer! that's how you know a record store is cool. when their window is full of books.

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/358559602_10161322340302137_7299805846433994304_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=9LHna5i9KfAAX_HtzHc&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.xx&oh=00_AfD8qyX9TvKHPm-k1qPatcToRiiBMFL3kKsyBlT9R0fdiQ&oe=64AF58FB

https://scontent-lga3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/359325041_10161322340542137_7680356592623422350_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=FB0a5dnAB2IAX831uqJ&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-2.xx&oh=00_AfAnWk5kRXmYN0E6zzTfFEZ-zEb7TXWj3YwNDgOzrUbXvQ&oe=64AE2371

https://scontent-lga3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/358529043_10161322340742137_1378366645273324171_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=kMC9ECCkIdAAX8tv1-I&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-2.xx&oh=00_AfBv2TUhVMQ6GZ1pqjNSbMynv969B2SOG-TY1MtrHarf0Q&oe=64AE59CB

"you should put that record down and look at the records in the racks with two hands. its way easier that way. one-handed with a full row of records is kind of a dumb way to see things. in my opinion."

there. needed to get that off my chest.

my partner INSISTS on holding my records for me when we’re record shopping and I feel like such a poop

Why do you have so few used records and so many reissues of widely available records?

― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR)

because used records (especially desirable ones) are increasingly hard to find, afaict

this is something i'm not supposed to say to people. here goes. i LOVE being in my store when nobody is here. hahaha! i am worst capitalist!

https://scontent-lga3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/358683431_10161322472032137_8743356136386483654_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=idzdyQsIMksAX_GJ6Ti&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-2.xx&oh=00_AfDOOeTwExVDgIxyBqZSKz_FrQoSuMMnDx_Ye9olkQoeEw&oe=64AE3F4A

i bet so many dudes have farted in that little place

cute girl bought a youth of today record today. #connecticutstraightedgehardcorewillneverdie

wow I was under the impression that rule #1 of a store was "never play anything that's not there for sale"

― out-of-print LaserDisc edition (sleeve), Friday, 7 July 2023 20:36 bookmarkflaglink

hate this! I was in a record shop last year and they were playing a Yummy Fur LP. I was like oh how much is this I want this record and they were like oh this our copy sorry. don't play it in the shop then you bastards lol

“I will now sell five copies of The Three EPs by the Beta Band.”

i still listen to beta band but i take it off in the store if someone comes in. i used to get self-conscious if someone came in and i was playing cliche record store stuff. velvet underground. beach boys. or the two most revered rock bands in the world according to the lame-ass people who come into my store: zed lep and fink ployd.

sometimes i will get caught playing something that is actually mine and very rarely someone will ask me if its for sale and i just make up a really high price. sold a few good records that way! they called my bluff!

hi scott please don't stop posting, I very much enjoy this thread and your revived presence on the board, don't let one person's misplaced anger put you off

I learned about I Was the President's Mistress!! from this fantastic thread

xpost - agreed!

yes

guy comes in and stands in front of me and says: "Jazz".

and i say: "uhhhhhhhh, okay. you want some?"

"Jazz".

"Dude, what the..."

"Bill Evans. Steve Allen. Got any? Chet Baker. I have lots of records. I'll probably just give them to you. I'm getting old. I don't listen to jazz anymore. Got any Steve Allen?"

"Wait, you have records with you?"

"No, I live in New York State..."

"Our jazz is by the window there."

He looks for one minute then turns and says really loudly: "WELP, NOTHIN'!" And then he shrugs his shoulders in a really exaggerated and broad way like he's in a silent movie.

He leaves without another word and then I say: "What the fuck?" "Fuck you, you fucking weirdo."

Then I go about my business.

ShopGPT

I feel I need to make a pilgrimage to this store and ask you where the 90's IDM section is and watch you twitch

some of these stories remind me of Daffer, this beloved Minneapolis record store dude. Daffer was, you know, a little different and also suffered from severe narcolepsy.

he was forever going through the bargain records (which were in bins on the floor underneath the main racks) and delivering his signature catch phrase "Why so expensive?", then his narcolepsy would kick in and he would take a snooze on the floor of the store. Everyone know the deal so you'd just gingerly step around him and let him take a little nap. then, he'd wake up like nothing happened and keep browsing.

(this was at Treehouse Records mostly, which was the newer name of the legendary Replacement/Husker daze institution Oar Folkjokeapus)

i think you both made a little jazz there

You know how they say music is largely the notes you don't play?

Maybe the moral of the story is that a record store is largely the records you don't have

Lol

i have a guy now who has just been reeling off names of things i don't have for the last hour and a half. "You know what I don't see? Parliament. Parliament/Funkadelic? Huh. Is it somewhere that I'm not seeing?"

Yes, some other store!

does anyone do this in any other kind of store?

i have about 4 to 5 thousand records in the store at any given time. there will be a few missing...

good luck at the show.

i opened up and put on a live Pretenders boot from 1980 and the first person through the door had to tell me that he never listened to the Pretenders until he heard "Brass In Pokcet" and got physically aroused. he kinda liked them after that. i will have to live with that little tidbit until the day i die.

You know, we are all Pretenders to some degree in this crazy world, in life, until the day we die

What I mean by that is that from now on I'm going to have to pretend you didn't share that story with us.

haha, sorry! i needed to share my pain.

new band name:

"Brass In Pokcet"

is that Brass In Pocket, or are you just happy to... hear the Pretenders?

I inherited a signed copy of The Pretenders' first LP from my grandpa. it's otherwise a £1 record, do people want signed Pretenders records? just wondering

someone might!

i am a record dealer who has zero interest in autographs. i do have a copy of black sabbath s/t signed by all four demons but even that i don't get that excited by. i have two early westbound funkadelic records and they came from different places and on both george clinton uses the word "bitch" and "dog" in his inscription. those are kinda cool.

i feel like they weirdly complicate my life. sometimes i just pretend they aren't there. does a signed maria muldaur record raise the price? by how much? who cares!!??

I don't care about autographs either. I have CDs signed by Paul Collins and the guitarist from D.R.I. but I didn't ask them to sign them they just did (bought them at gigs)

i go on discogs right now and this is the first thing i see on my store page:

"mickey hart" AUTOGRAPH on front. looks legit and matches online examples of his signature but not authenticated in any way.

its just so boring.

I've got a few signed records, but I treat it as a neat bonus and not something I'm seeking out or paying extra to get.

the only way an autograph would mean anything to me is if I was the one who procured it from the artist

generally would favor a previous owner's name in sharpie over signatures. especially if I buy a few from the same collection.

I am dispersing my dead friend's record collection back into the universe, he had a signed Sparks 12"! that was pretty cool. we gave it to his brother.

generally would favor a previous owner's name in sharpie over signatures. especially if I buy a few from the same collection.

i've got a few lps where the previous owner was a local musician and/or critic. who would have thought michael morley was once a fan of the international submarine band?

I bought a shoegaze-era Boo Radleys 12" at the weekend, on the inner sleeve is written "happy 18th Flamp Damp from Afterbirth + Aunty Jags xxx". Flamp Damp must be pushing 50 now.

Almost every time I’m at the store, someone asks me “Are these all your records?”

Meaning, I suppose, “is this your personal collection that you’re now selling?”

Which is a weird thing to ask someone at their store.

Runner up: “Have you listened to all of these?”

I’m gonna go into a clothing boutique and be like “Are all these your clothes? Have you worn them all?”

“Are these all your gyros ?”

I guess “are these all your records?” depends on inflection and I definitely could see people credulously asking that

I could also see the emphasis differently, asking if you have any more records that aren’t on the store display floor?

Yeah, they’re definitely not looking for more records when they ask.

Another thing people — including other small-time dealers — often ask is, “where do you get your records?” Like, motherfucker, that’s a trade secret. I’m not gonna invite you to come dip your bucket in my well.

Ha, "are these all your records" is definitely one of the top questions asked by "dads walking around the store like its a museum" types.

Twice in the last few weeks young-ish (like late teens, early 20s) customers have asked me where they can get a "record player with one of those big horn things on top" to play their records on. I had to explain an antique gramophone is probably not the best option. But then I googled and saw amazon sells some shitty new version of them so I'll probably just walk into the ocean later.

“I played my new T Swift album on my gramophone and it sounds all scratchy and hyperpop. How can I stop this from happening.”

it's the next vaporwave

record stores should offer overnight lock-ins with a turntable, a comfy chair and a couple of bottles of wine. charge a fee, set a minimum spend amount. would totally get stuck into those crates of 45s that no-one ever has the time to go through

― blazin' squab (NickB), Monday, October 30, 2023 10:22 PM (four weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

I saw a news story about a record store that does exactly this! Crazy days...

indeed! was a bit of chat about that on this thread...

Shady scams and other silly business ideas to take advantage of earnest new vinyl collectors

i had a nice chat with mark from the old record peddler shop in manchester uk. he came in with some friends. and yes i did grill him pretty good for Factory artist stories. i always want more vini reilly tidbits. it must have been so cool to get FAC releases hot off the press for your shop in the 80s!

https://www.mdmarchive.co.uk/gfx/7061/400-1.jpg

penn jillette came in the other day. he's really nice. he was bugging out over the weird stuff i have. and he was very complimentary. said really nice stuff about the store. he bought a huge box of comedy records from us 10 years ago or so and we shipped them to him in las vegas and he said he was still getting through them all. but he's a busy guy. no time to listen to records! he's from Greenfield. i forgot to give him a t-shirt. he's so damn tall. i also forgot to ask him if he had checked out the new Cheech & Chong pot dispensary down the street a block. speaking of comedy.

You ever listen to this? I was always curious myself...

https://i.discogs.com/fNMqpkbYh3oC7hBqZS5wOVIozKbPK9lDxrveVknFhXA/rs:fit/g:sm/q:90/h:600/w:597/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTE5MDI5/OTUtMTI1MTMwNDg0/NC5qcGVn.jpeg

way too obvious things you find in records...

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/411637381_10161633782097137_7926552940571295852_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=3635dc&_nc_ohc=RtiLLQr6tvUAX9BETb3&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.xx&oh=00_AfBVqOYKn1Y0G_Ecu3uHGGTw_jWkvS4gZnyxx_bgfCRAyA&oe=65896FF0

That’s oregano brah

Scott to clarify I was legitimately asking if you knew about that "Captain Howdy" project, cause that's really Penn

oh yeah sure i remember the captain howdy but i don't recall offhand what it sounds like. i know i heard it in my days of listening to shimmy disc stuff. i almost brought it up to him at the store!

I've always hoped to find a pot leaf or a 10-strip of acid or something, but the only drugs I've found in a record was a single stem in a copy of Goody Goody.

https://i.discogs.com/goKcSTC5bF9q_gRaITx9lGkoQnaDtCWXGUu4ezmdsc8/rs:fit/g:sm/q:40/h:300/w:300/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTI1Mzgy/MjAwLTE2NzAzMDYw/MjQtNzcwNy5wbmc.jpeg

If this is a dumb question I know Scott will say so (and possibly save me some embarrassment), so here it goes: I’ve thankfully made it to the stage of my life where I can afford the records I love but buying from Discogs has been a nightmare (e.g., the two common issues are unreported hairline scratches and sending me the wrong pressing). Is there a service (or maybe record shops do this) where I give someone a list of the several hundred records I want and they track them down and ship them to me? Maybe they’d get 10% of the cost or something?

you could post a list link here, ILX might not have all but I bet we have some. see also:

selling my fucking records

https://medium.com/@scottseward68/open-for-business-confessions-of-a-used-record-dealer-in-new-england-42985dbca372

Feeling this. The folks who come in and tell you about the records they own, wanting you to be impressed. No details, just … that they have a record collection. Ooooooh! No fucking shit? You have over a hundred records? Please tell me about it.

Or that they USED to have one, and sold it or dumped it like everyone else did. So do you wanna buy them all back, then? No? You don’t have a record player anymore? What the fuck are you doing in my store preventing me from doing something useful like helping the other customers or picking my hangnails?

Thanks for this piece, Scott. It’s therapeutic.

haha, no problem!

Is there a service (or maybe record shops do this) where I give someone a list of the several hundred records I want and they track them down and ship them to me? Maybe they’d get 10% of the cost or something?

Basically no. That's a tremendous amount of work you're asking already-busy shop owners/employees to do for like $3 per record. Especially for a picky buyer ("unreported hairline scratches").

I’ve all but given up trying to sell the wonderful Martha & the Muffins and Doug & the Slugs records.

fwiw I would buy all your Martha & The Muffins records (except This Is The Ice Age because I've already got that one) but I suspect you are too far away for that to be worthwhile

Postage is pretty cheap!

I think at this point I’ve given up on even trying to flog M&M so I dunno if I even have good copies anymore but I can put ‘em aside for you when they come in & bundle them off for practically nothing.

Pretty cheap when sending multiple records, that is.

is it any better now? the UK<->US rates have sucked for a while

I can usually send stuff to Europe for $30 or so, up to a certain point where it all of a sudden turns into $100

it's ok, it's not worth paying $20-30 postage when I can buy those records here. thanks anyway. found a VG+ copy of Trance & Dance for £4.50. Metro Music goes for a bit more