Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

hallo that should be in NUMETAL ORDER

Similar complaint:

Stop pronouncing "Reconcile" as REE-CON-CILE!

lol tehresa didn't get the numetrical changeover email

and has this high pitched whiny 'omg but i'm so cute! yeahhhh!' voice.

would guiltily feel silent attraction to

Nobody says "downdating" anymore, but still...

WHY WHY WHY do I have to write out a long list of things that one particular employee has been doing wrong on a weekly fucking basis? Working in a rehearsal studio is NOT fucking high-level work, it's easy, do it fucking properly! And DO NOT put the latch on the door then slam it shut, so the person working the next morning has to prise it open with a crowbar.

(deep breath)

OK, got it out of my system now.
Grr.
Note to self : don't ask someone to use their common sense when they don't have any...

I just listened to a gasping, frenzied 30 minute soliloquy about a co-worker's adventure in chiropractic. She delved into every quirk and quiddity of her spinal health - each injury, sleeping habits, her history of bad posture, her marching band days and their effect on her physicality.

I guess I shouldn't complain; I could be listening to her talk about mucus. (again)

Console yourself in the knowledge she's throwing a big pile of money at someone who (claims to) believe that "spinal adjustments" (making your back crack) remove "subluxations" (mysterious things that are definitely wrong with your spine even if the x-ray can't see them) and increase the body's "innate intelligence" (oh I don't fucking know).
Scientology dressed up as medicine.

Still, it does feel great getting your joints all cracked and stretched. Not worth £30 a time though.

She could go to the top floor of where I work. I just went up there for the first time ever to get some bog roll (runny nose - toilets on other floors shut) and found a sign saying that they do 'warm stone therapy' up there.

That gives me an idea - warm towel therapy. Hugging towels straight out the tumble drier feels fantastic.

Oh man, dude, we're cool and all, but stop exclaiming "FUDGE!" when something upsets you. Every two hours or so.

hahaha he sounds funny

"Do you think on Biggie and Tupac's tombstones there's an inscription that reads 'Killing Each Other Over Music Was A Bad Idea'? Because that's what they did."

A+

"You know the only way we can take Afghanistan? It's if we roll into it like the Americans took the US. Just take them out one tribe at a time and colonize them. That's the only way. The country is gonna go how the country is gonna go."
^can't see him, but am imagining him polishing his monocle while he says this.

Yeah, American families are just dying to relocate to Afganistan.

Dying is the word.

she never shuts up

Fuck, xmas break looming brings out the WORST in everyone... panic panic panic... fuck off you twats, I'm doing two peoples jobs and trying to show other people how to do mine, because no one else does my work... I dont have time for your minor concerns! *&%%^$

she called back to talk more

So glad I have 3 weeks off after next week. POOL TIME.

what is this wierd compulsion to just talk even when your intended audience isn't giving you any cues that they're listening at all? please do stfu about your hbp, God's 'plan' for your life and the last 3 dan brown novels you read.

Jesus wants you to quit talking. be still and know that He is Lord iirc.

My sales guys keep asking me questions that make me wonder if they have any idea what I do or how the office operates, seeing as they are basic questions whose answers are "the same way we did this for years so you should already know this". Farkin.

so glad i am one in an office of three ppl

"i've decided that I have zero respect for Lloyd Banks. Just look at this guy. He dresses like a thug."

why wont you leave

Part of my job is to screen potential donors for our non-profit organization. My coworker and I usually field requests for this information from the front-line fundraising staff, who may have heard about a person's name from a news story or had it suggested to them by another donor or something.

Whenever a name comes down the line that my coworker thinks would be unable to make a major gift, he dismisses them as "b1g n0b0dies" - e.g. "Look out, we've got another b1g n0b0dy coming through"; "I don't understand why they keep sending us all these b1g n0b0dies".

It's rude as hell. However much money these people make, they are always serious professionals with much higher caliber careers than he has.

(googleproofed because he says it so much it's like a catchphrase)

He always says it in the same descending sing-song kinda voice too.

just start saying his name the same way.

"that brittany murphy girl's career was in a tailspin anyway."

Allow me to share some helpful tips for those starting new jobs:

1. Read you fucking offer letter. Don't sign a fucking part-time offer and then come back to me and say "oh I didn't read it I, actually want to be full time and get benefits kthx!"

2. Do not tell your boss "this is my flex-schedule." *I* set your schedule.

3. It is called "work" for a reason, assholes. You sacrifice a level of personal autonomy in exchange for a paycheck. If you are unprepared to do that, may I suggest you not work.

sorry for the rant but what the hell is wrong with these people?

have you noticed i haven't responded to your constant rambling for 1.5 hours?

stfu

He loudly tells the ending of 'Up In the Air' and when I scoot over to say, "Thanks, I guess I won't have to see that movie now" he replies "Oh, I wouldn't have thought you'd want to see it anyway. It seems a little mainstream for you."

dude I share an office with will not stop doing this

Lipsmacking is performed by many Old World monkey species, and some studies of baboons and macaques suggest that lipsmacking may be associated with social status. We studied 60 adult anubis baboons (Papio cynocephalus anubis) for 18 months, measured social status and the rate of lipsmacking, and used these data to test the hypothesis that lipsmacking is related to social status. Our results indicate that social status and lipsmacking were not significantly correlated for either males or females. Analysis of lipsmacking in relation to social class (high vs. low) showed no significant difference between status classes for either sex. Lipsmacking was, however, found to be positively associated with affinitive behaviors. These results suggest that baboon lipsmacking provides positive social communication independently of social status.

man, i have a lot of mixed emotions and fear about being out of work but there are a few people that i am SO looking forward to not have to post about in here anymore

yeaaahh!! i quit my job too

our section just got a mail about 'biodiversity awareness' training and lady next to me has started bitching about 'them' learning 'our ways' when they come to our country etc.

i haven't the heart, tbh.

my job occasionally entails sending out mailings about biodiversity awareness training, so I'm glad that I am possibly facilitating incidents such as that one.

maybe, in fairness, i'm underestimating her and she is talking about foreign plants coming in and stealing our jobs.

what sort of jobs require biodiversity awareness training? just curious.

generally planners, architects and so on for me, with the training usually being along the lines of "this is the law re biodiversity, don't break it. It'd be nice if you'd do more to help too, but we don't hold high hopes."

that and the more obvious and more specialised stuff for rangers, parks officers etc.

i see, thanks.

generally planners, architects and so on

yeah, i work for a local authority so it would have been aimed at the above types.

Oh hi, when you are asked to write a script to process some files that are already being generated it is nice if your script actually processes the current file format, instead telling me I have to rewrite all the existing code just to have the columns in a different completely arbitrary order of your own devising, including some clumsily concatenated shit which will probably cause some exciting new bugs in the future

</geek rage>

also it is slightly annoying to me that you are in at 9:40, out at 4:30 and disappear for extended meal breaks at 12 and 3 every day, but the boss never looks in here to notice, and since you get stuff done and i'm on ilx all day i guess i don't have a leg to stand on and in fact i am the stupid annoying co-worker, but also a grumpy one

if you are going to leave your cell phone unattended at your desk, PUT IT ON FUCKING SILENT.

i don't even know who is responsible for this. every goddamn day, though.

Just start answering it as a brothel madam/pimp.

My ex-coworker used to abandon their phone every lunch hour and every day for 40 minutes an extremely distorted Disney movie song ringtone would blare out. If I ever accidentally see whatever film it was I'm going to have a nervous twitch for days.

crepey lady please leave me alone