Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

delivery of chairs this morning, sat there outside the office. so i pick one up and carry it in. it's bulky and there are two half-flights of stairs but hey... 30 minutes later and 5 people, all seemingly able-bodied, have since arrived and yet the other 3 chairs are all still sat outside.

"Can we all get together to discuss tomorrow's meeting?"

No, that would make it today's meeting!

I often wonder why people gossip so much. Don't they realize that if you talk everyone's back, people get easily bored by it?

Memo to receptionist at magazine: when scheduling lunch cover, please feel free to staff the phones with someone who is not patently terrified of answering them or routing calls.

Stupid, annoying manager of support team just brought down part of our website running a ridiculous SQL query on our live production table, not using NOLOCK and doing a LIKE on a fucking TEXT field. When oh when will DBA just revoke her access FFS.

Lately I've been working in an open-plan office room in which there are no cubical walls and only chairs and tables. The programmer one table over has a Star Wars Imperial March ringtone and its loud enough to piece through whatever I'm listening to on my iPod.

You have non-leaking headphones, I hope?

Hey, everybody loves Spaceman 3!

coworker says revelant rather than relevant..

Coworker says "Elementary my dear Jackson". Dick. Head.

I got sent a "Ho ho those illegal immigrants" poem a PFW today. The person in question is not the brightest, so she probably does not mean to offend. I reckon that the world would be happier if I smile politely rather than if I go all special voice on her.

iPod's playing "Summertime" by Herbie Hancock

CO-WORKER: "That's not you, is it?"

Bitch taking a day off even though she was told not to (this week).

(Not stupid, but EXTREMELY annoying and rude.)

I messed up a program at work and may have caused several hours of repair to database. Today, I am the stupid, annoying co-worker.

That's just a mistake.

Annoying is when they slam the microwave door or put their up on shared furniture.

Well, it's a gray area. I should have been checking more thoroughly, so I should have caught it before it was a mess, but it also should have been coded properly. Either way, somebody fuxed up and it sucks now. :(

Annoying WCG* dude now has the fucking "pook.. pook.. PWWEEEEWWWT" walk signal noise as his cellphone txt notifier noise. It is holy crap loud, and goes of CONSTANTLY. Jesus fuck this guy is irritating.

(*windows calendar guy, see previous)

you are easily annoyed, trayce.

Dear my boss

I do not want or need to be friends with people I work with. I have the internet a life outside the office for that. I go in, I am civil and professional and polite for 8 hours, I go home. Stop making me try to discuss stuff I don't want to discuss with people I don't want to discuss it with, and then telling me I'm not a team player because I don't want to be bestest mates and drinking buddies with the people I just happened to end up in an office with.

Just let me do what you pay me for. I'm pretty good at that really. Msybe you might stop worrying about my ability to gibber on at length about Johnny Depp's attractivness or what happened on River City last night long enough to notice that.

love

A

P.S. if you ask me how to spell "supersede" and I tell you, if three other people tell you that it's spelled "supercede", that doesn't make them right. Get one dictionary.

Cheers
A

Um. Both spellings are acceptable, Ailsa.

Not in my world they aren't. Grammar fiends and copy editors to thread!

supersede
not supercede

(from http://www.guardian.co.uk/styleguide/page/0,,184832,00.html)

Heh, I like how my big post there was all ridden with typos. I can spell "maybe" and "attractiveness", honest. I just can't type on this crappy laptop.

you are easily annoyed, trayce.

ONLY BY HIM GOD DAMMIT RARGH *flails arms* ok maybe youre right.

When you hear his phone go off, do you step away from your desk and stride down the hallway?

i cannot believe how much my coworker complains about the heat. we work outside, in miami! what the fuck do you expect?

Doesn't everyone have a Trayce's co-worker in their office (those who work in offices with several people in them, at any rate)? One person who does a few annoying things so often that everything about them becomes annoying, even things that aren't so bad really, so you're all "dear God, PLEASE stop clanking the edge of your cup with your teaspoon when you're stirring your one cup of coffee of the day, aargh, DIE DIE DIE" for basically no reason at all? No? Just me then (and Trayce)? I've had one nearly everywhere I've ever been.

YES EXACTLY. It isnt him or one extreme thing, it is every little goddamn thing he does - crunching ice cubes, making human beatbox noises, the fscking LOUD techno cellphone ringtone and the fact on top of all that, that he earns 20k a year more than me and gladly says he has bugger all to do.

I know its unfair of me but HE IS MY FOCUS rargh.

Ah work placements how I love thee.

Currently we are blessed with a morose French girl who can't - or won't - speak English. She was dumped by her boyfriend via text one week into her placement, and now spends all day alternately instant messaging furiously and smoking.

Do you speak French?

A little... she understands ok. Mainly I just tell her stuff to do and point hopefully, then an hour later she might actually do it.

she sounds like the best co-worker ever!

just tell her "tes sins son tellement grosses" - this will cheer her up and improve her overall performance.

I was just reminded that "if you don't shit you die."

):

Oh and that was a youngish woman who reminded me.

):

I remind my 3 yr old son of this constantly, though I use the word "poo". I'm sure he views me as his annoying co-worker also.

I love the way that this mean spirited thread was started by one of the nicest people I've met thanks to ILX :)

Arrrggghhh, fuck fuck fuck, why does my boss have to be so fucking prolix and long-winded and write 39983837 words where 12 will do and leave me to edit this boring over-stuffed shite so it fits on a page without pushing what everyone else has written into the margins - IF YOU WANT PHOTOGRAPHS 'N NICE GRAPHICS 'N SHIT IN THIS NEWSLETTER THEN TRY NOT REWRITING "WAR AND PEACE" EVERY TIME YOU SIT DOWN AT A COMPUTER! Still, at least she's in Tanzania this week, so I don't have her hovering over my shoulder correcting my grammar and quibbling over semi colons and colons and dashes etc etc.

I notice I'm a frequent contributor to this page, anyway...

This isn't really that annoying, but the girl in the desk beside me is constantly drinking out of a water bottle - honestly, she drinks gallons of the stuff - what she does is violently grab the bottle, fling her head way back, and noisily glug it like a cowboy necking a bottle o' liquor in a saloon bar scene in a Western, it's all a bit disconcerting

that's pretty hilarious, considering that working in a desk doesn't have that great a risk of dehydration.

I drink a ton of water too as some of my medication makes my mouth impossibly dry. However I don't do it in that fashion. I hate when people make that gurgling noise when they drink.

My boss/client stressed the hell out of me as the most recent deadlines approached, making changes that turned reasonable looking ads into godawful fugly ones. I was getting really frustrated and pulled something on her I swore I'd never do -- "I hate what you're doing to this ad, but you're writing the checks, so I'll do it."

Ugh, if I ever had any good design sense (and I probably didn't), it all got beaten out of me by someone who wants everything beveled, drop-shadowed and in a starburst.