WASHLET
― Yo! GOP Raps (suzy), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:28 (fourteen years ago) link
great now I have Del's "Pissin' on Your Steps Belt" on loop in my head
― Remove This Vile Tweet (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link
uh derelict please elaborate???????
― a perfect urkel (gbx), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:34 (fourteen years ago) link
I thought the shit shelf was designed to allow Germans to inspect their shit specifically because of the amount and variety of pork (and raw pork, can that be right?) they ate. This made them particularly susceptible to tapeworms, which gave them a special reason to want to inspect their shit.
― GamalielRatsey, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:36 (fourteen years ago) link
ew ew ew, suddenly this thread isn't awesome anymore
― WmC, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:37 (fourteen years ago) link
piles of shit on a shelf is okay but piles of wormy shit is a step beyond the pale?
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:38 (fourteen years ago) link
AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH
― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:38 (fourteen years ago) link
nope, still funny
― chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:39 (fourteen years ago) link
IMAGE POST
― a perfect urkel (gbx), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:39 (fourteen years ago) link
this thread has gone to shit
― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:39 (fourteen years ago) link
this thread is a shitshow
― dan m, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:40 (fourteen years ago) link
As a 1/2 German American, I can attest to the compulsion to marvel at my feces.
― unused user (Jesse), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:40 (fourteen years ago) link
classic because then wolves will no the belt is yrs and not to borrow it
― history maybe (Lamp), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:42 (fourteen years ago) link
again, holy lolz
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:42 (fourteen years ago) link
this thread is such a treasure, i want to print it out, put it on a shelf and inspect it
― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:43 (fourteen years ago) link
Can I just slightly derail to note that sometimes in English it is deemed useful to add "own" to make "your own" and sometimes it isn't? Compare this thread with the R.I.P. Boyzone singer one: Pissing on your belt / Choking on your own vomit. Nobody blinks at that "your own vomit" but what if this thread had been called "Pissing on your own belt" ?
English is weird sometimes.
Thank you, carry on! :-)
― StanM, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:45 (fourteen years ago) link
this changes the meaning of a girl having a shelf forever.
― chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:46 (fourteen years ago) link
the thing is Stan, pissing on someone else's belt is unambiguously classic
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:47 (fourteen years ago) link
And choking on someone else's vomit? :-/
― StanM, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:47 (fourteen years ago) link
unambiguously dud
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:48 (fourteen years ago) link
I have nothing to add at this point, but I feel like it would be a crime if I didn't post on this thread
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:52 (fourteen years ago) link
GBX, for about $700-800, you can purchase a toilet seat (Toto Washlet) that will fit atop your standard western toilet that draws water from the tank, heats it electrically while you are seated, will spray said warm water either from the front or rear. The spray can be adjusted for pressure, temperature, oscillation, and positioning fore and aft using a wireless control pad at eye level. There is also a warmed air drier.
By inventing this, I think the East has bypassed a lot of slow cultural evolution, much as some developing nations have simply bypassed wired telecommunications. We cannot allow our nation to fall behind in toilet technology. Cue Also Sprach Zarathustra.
http://www.chinasmack.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/squat-vs-sitting-toilet.jpg
― The artist formerly known as Derelict (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 20:58 (fourteen years ago) link
(xpost) You were risking court marshall!
― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:00 (fourteen years ago) link
geez i turn off my internet for one hour to finish a paper and LOOK what happens, shit everywhere
― Maria, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:00 (fourteen years ago) link
when I think "heated car wash", I think of this:
http://www.badgerlandcarwashequipment.com/images/topBrush.jpg
and that + my scrotum = not a good time
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:01 (fourteen years ago) link
they have sex toys like that...smaller scale of course
― Maria, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:02 (fourteen years ago) link
I was lucky enough to be present at an example of someone choking on somebody else's vomit. New Year's Eve in the pub, a friend of mine had drunk excessively, to the degree that when he suddenly realised he was going to be sick it was too late, and all he could do was jam his hand up to his mouth in an attempt to stop it going everywhere.
The rather remarkable an extremely memorable effect of this was, because of the pressure of vomit building up, to send violent jets of vomity liquid shooting out at various angles from behind my friend's hand.
He was sitting down at the time, and to the side of him, standing up, was the local wide boy, volubly telling a humorous tale of some sort.
One the jets of vomit shot into his open mouth. He stopped quite quickly and started saying 'Ugh, what was that?' a question he never finished because it had become clear what it was, as my friend was now vomiting all over his hand.
The sounds that the chap made were quite remarkable. Gagging and shouting at the same time, uncertain of whether to drink or spit. It was, to everyone bar the two main participants, incredibly funny.
― GamalielRatsey, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:02 (fourteen years ago) link
Next to each other? Is that for couples? How romantic!
― StanM, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:03 (fourteen years ago) link
not to spoil the fun, but can i just say i have been living in germany for nearly a month and have not seen a single shit inspection shelf toilet. how often did you actually see them dan?
― caek, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:04 (fourteen years ago) link
the family I was living with had one, so every day!
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:04 (fourteen years ago) link
(mind you this was 1991, things may well be different now)
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link
holy balls I'm old
http://www.totousa.com/Default.aspx?tabid=272
― a perfect urkel (gbx), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:08 (fourteen years ago) link
"As practically every German is health-insured, we tend to go to the doctor (as recommended) at least every two years for a throrough (and practcally cost-free) check-up. For that, you will have to bring some of your, er, feces in a specialized container the doctor will give you. So how do you get at your, er, sausage if it is swimming in water? With a German toilet, this is dead easy."
Oh boy. This Friday is not going to be fun.
― caek, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:09 (fourteen years ago) link
okay so at the point in that video when she sat down I got very, very scared
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:12 (fourteen years ago) link
"do what you came to do, then reach for the remote"
― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:12 (fourteen years ago) link
we need an I Love To Shit In Germany board imo
― goole, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:13 (fourteen years ago) link
could ILX coin a new German word for shit shelf: 'Scheissbrett'?
― do you want to be happier? (whatever), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:39 (fourteen years ago) link
I like "Scheissbord" or "Scheissablage"
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:41 (fourteen years ago) link
i hated those toilets when i lived in germany. i enjoy a good dumpread from time to time, and the smell precludes that.
plus if it's a big one there's the nagging thought that will this last bit actually have nowhere to drop?
― do you want to be happier? (whatever), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:42 (fourteen years ago) link
is there a German word for skidmark? xp
― do you want to be happier? (whatever), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:43 (fourteen years ago) link
guys maybe these toilets are there to keep people from wasting time on the shitter, and getting back to their damn jobs
― a perfect urkel (gbx), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:43 (fourteen years ago) link
is there a German word for skidmark?
Bremsstreifen (from a link I posted earlier that was swallowed up by the middle of the thread)
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:45 (fourteen years ago) link
always on the job
― do you want to be happier? (whatever), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:46 (fourteen years ago) link
with a scheissablage and diarrhoea does it just... pool?
― coz (webinar), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:47 (fourteen years ago) link
lol Dan P why did I know you would know that
― Where is Stephen Gobie? (Dandy Don Weiner), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:47 (fourteen years ago) link
yes the solid bits if any hang around in the darkening pool while liquid runs over the lip every now and again. xp
― do you want to be happier? (whatever), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:49 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do ain't pretty.
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:49 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm disgusted that an innocent thread about #1 has turned into an unholy thread about #2.
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:50 (fourteen years ago) link
Hope that it doesn't turn into a thread about #3's
― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 21:52 (fourteen years ago) link