Jeremy Clarkson's "The World According To Clarkson" is one of Penguin's "best books of its kind to be published in recent years"

I want to know what he says about Modern Art.

He doesn't know much about art.

He doesn't know much about art.

I want to know what he says about Modern Art.

-- o-ess, Saturday, January 5, 2008 2:20 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

really not to hard to guess.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7174760.stm

Is this guy ever out of the fucking papers?

lol whoops

A disappointingly small amount. And it should have been to the campaign against Climate Change. 6/10 for mischief.

£500 is probably not much money to JC.

Well, there goes his political ambitions:

Clarkson, PM (Alternate universe in 2020) "It is with a truly humble heart that I have to apologise for not only losing all the bank details of everyone in the country, but also for posting them on ILE to prove that it does not matter anyway. soz"

A colleague in this office worships Clarkson, i think i may have to kill him before the week is out.

if i end up learning to drive within the next two years it will totally be his fault.

Dom, what the Number One song would be if Clarkson were PM? (No Status Quo please?)

doesn't clarkson like curved air or something?

He's also got love for the Doobie Brothers

Now that's what I'm tokin''bout. (Good kinda weed grown with chemicals.)

He was on desert island discs a few years ago (he came across as surprisingly unassholish) the only thing I remember him choosing was something off "Dark Side of the Moon". It was old-school Q-readerish stuff for the most part, maybe there was an ELP track?

1. 'Your Song'
Performer Billy Paul
Composer Elton John/Bernie Taupin
Publisher DJM Music
CD Title Elton John Songbook
Track 11
Label Connoisseur Collection
Rec No: VSOP CD 192

2. 'Behind Blue Eyes'
Performer The Who
Composer Pete Townshend
Publisher Polydor
CD Title Who's Next
Track 8
Label Polydor
Rec No: 813 651-2

3. 'Night Moves'
Performer Bob Seger
Composer Bob Seger
Publisher Capitol Records
CD Title Bob Seger & Silver Bullet Band Greatest Hits
Track 2
Label Capitol
Rec No: CDEST 2241

4. 'Time'
Performer Pink Floyd
Composer Mason, Waters, Wright, Gilmour
Publisher EMI
CD Title Dark Side of the Moon
Track 3
Label EMI
Rec No: CDEMD 1064

5. 'Get Ready'
Performer Temptations
Composer Robinson
Publisher Motown Records
CD Title Music of the Year 1969
Track 10
Label Spectrum
Rec No: 545 059-2

6. 'Make Me Smile' (Come Up and See Me)
Performer Steve Harley and Cokney Rebel
Composer Steve Harley
Publisher EMI
CD Title Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)
Track 1
Label EMI
Rec No: CD Harley 1

7. 'Heroes'
Performer David Bowie
Composer Bowie/Bowie ENO
Publisher EMI
CD Title Heroes
Track 3
Label EMI
Rec No: CDP 797 7202

8. 'Solsbury Hill'
Performer Peter Gabriel
Composer Peter Gabriel
Publisher Ear Pieces/Hit and Run
CD Title Peter Gabriel 1
Track 2
Label Charisma
Rec No: PGCD1

Record: Time -Pink Floyd
Book: Photograph Album
Luxury: Jet ski

8. 'Solsbury Hill'
Performer Peter Gabriel
Composer Peter Gabriel
Publisher Ear Pieces/Hit and Run
CD Title Peter Gabriel 1
Track 2
Label Charisma
Rec No: PGCD1

lolololololololol

no.6 a solid if unadventurous choice

1. 'Your Song'
Performer Billy Paul
Composer Elton John/Bernie Taupin

2. 'Behind Blue Eyes'
Performer The Who

3. 'Night Moves'
Performer Bob Seger

4. 'Time'
Performer Pink Floyd

5. 'Get Ready'
Performer Temptations

6. 'Make Me Smile' (Come Up and See Me)
Performer Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel

7. 'Heroes'
Performer David Bowie

8. 'Solsbury Hill'
Performer Peter Gabriel

He was very good on Desert Island Discs. His actual desert island discs notwithstanding.

backlash backlash

David Cameron: He doesn't really mean it.

David Cameron: He has good timing

solsbury hill is a great song

Not as good as Cameron's premier choice of Ernie, though, or indeed the single that Peter Gabriel wrote for Charlie Drake.

Jezza was obviously trying to use the song titles to get a secret message across to Sue Lawley, the dirty bitch!

^^^ Youtube videos have been circulated on less compelling evidence than this

Hi,

I'm sorry to inform you that your petition has been rejected.

Your petition was classed as being in the following categories:

* Issues for which an e-petition is not the appropriate
channel

* Intended to be humorous, or has no point about government
policy

If you wish to edit and resubmit your petition, please follow
the following link:
http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/dpforpm/CzJ1wTD51RF3D0RtWPAGMJd

You have four weeks in which to do this, after which your
petition will appear in the list of rejected petitions.

Your petition reads:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to: 'share the
job of Prime Minister with Dom Passantino'

y'know, like when Gerard Houllier came in to share the
Liverpool manager's job with Roy Evans before Evans was royally
removed.

-- the ePetitions team

three weeks ago I wuz booored :/

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41G7C4NXDEL._AA240_.jpg

I woke up out that coma two thousand and one
'Bout the same time Dre dropped "2001"
Three years later the album is done
Aftermath presents "Nigga Witta Attitude, Volume One"
Rap critics politickin, wanna know the outcome
"Ready to Die" "Reasonable Doubt" and "Doggystyle" in one
I feel like 'Pac after the Snoop Dogg trial was done
Dre behind that G series and "All Eyez on Me"
I watched the death of a dynasty, so I told Vibe Magazine
Workin with Dr. Dre was a (dream)
I had visions of makin a classic, then my world turned black
like I was starin out of Stevie Wonders glasses
It's kinda hard to imagine, like Kanye West
comin back from his fatal accident to beatmakin and rappin
But, we the future, Whitney Houston told me that
And it's gon' take more than a bullet in the heart to hold me back

Russian and this 40 ounce, lettin the ink from my pen bleed
Cause Martin Luther King had a (dream)
Aaliyah had a (dream) Left Eye had a (dream)
So I reached out to Kanye and (I brought you all my dreams)
(Cause I love you, I love you, I love you)
(I-highhhhhh love you)

I had dreams, of fuckin, a R&B bitch like Mya
When I saw that ass on the front of that King
Read the article in the magazine, she loved gangsters, loved nasty things
So I'm in the glass house havin nasty dreams
Good girls never give it up
But anything is possible, if 50 fucked Vivica
Hurdled life's obstacles, found my way through the maze
Then joy turned to pain like Frankie Beverly and Maze
Used to dream of bein +Unsigned Hype+, 'til I was crushed by Dave Mays
Almost let my pen fall asleep on the page
Daydreamin yesterday, dozin off backstage
I thought I saw Eazy talkin to Jam Master Jay
So I walked over, heard Jam Master say
"It's a hard knock life, then you pass away"
They say sleep is the cousin of death, so my eyes wide open
Cause a dream is kin to your last breath

(chorus)

The dream of Huey Newton that's what I'm livin through
The dream of Eric Wright, that's what I'm givin you
Who walked through the White House without a business suit
Compton had jheri curl drippin on Ronald Reagan's shoes
Gave Mike Lem my demo, came here to pay my dues
Started off with Whoo Kid, then I start blazin Clue
It was all a dream like Big said it'd be
Don't sleep on me homey, I bring nightmares to reality
Rap phenomenon, defyin the rules of gravity
Studied all the classics, start revisin my strategy
Cause Marshall Mathers made it, Curtis Jackson made it
Head in the clouds, wonderin where the hell Marvin Gaye went
How do I say this - I'm livin for my son
but I can't figure out, why I'm at my temple with this gun
Wake up to a Jesus piece like a catholic nun
The war to be a rap legend, has just begun

(chorus)

This song is dedicated to Yetunde Price
The sister of Venus and Serena Williams
who was slain during a gang shootout in Compton
Sunday, September 14th, 2003 - rest in peace

(I brought you all my dreams)
(Cause I love you, I love you, I love you)
(I-highhhhhh love you)

* Intended to be humorous, or has no point about government
policy

INSERT GORDON BROWN ZING HERE

'He may know motoring laws inside out, but Jeremy Clarkson clearly has trouble sticking to them. The loudmouth Top Gear host was snapped doing 70mph along the middle lane of a busy motorway while chattering away on his mobile phone....When the Mirror confronted the grumpy star about his dangerous stunt, he denied being in the car. But shown the photo, he spluttered: "Er, that isn't a phone." He then slammed the door of his Oxfordshire mansion and bellowed: "Look, I write a column for another newspaper...I'm not allowed to talk you" -

"dangerous stunt" surely a typo?

Yeah, they meant to write "cunning".

I can imagine this couple telling tales in the play ground. Even if it was Jeremy it's no big deal and they should respect his privacy, instead of behaving like children.

- David, France

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=530330&in_page_id=1770&in_page_id=1770&expand=true#StartComments

Smart people can do multiple tasks at the same time. Idiots cannot.

- Doug Gibson, Benvie, Scotland

WELL THAT'S ALRIGHT THEN

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/ClarksonPhones_468x298.jpg
Not ony is most definitely a phone but I'm shocked that he actually appears to wear those awful jackets irl.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/ClarksonPhones_468x298.jpg

Nice car though.

Also isn't that steering wheel on the wrong side. Bloody foreigner!

And he's driving on the right too!

Is that a P5 rover he's driving?

6.3 litre Mercedes.

That's one mf of a merc.

I love the comments trying to attack the photographer for driving and taking photos while at the same time trying to defend Clarkson for being on the phone.

Is it one of these?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_300SEL_6.3

Or one of these!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_600

The second one. He wrote about a lot here: http://driving.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/driving/jeremy_clarkson/article3171178.ece

His defence should be "read that column, it clearly can't be my Merc".

wait wait, 70mph?? i drive that on my commute every day, so what. is there something about 'motorway' that i'm missing here?

The whole 'illegal to drive and use a phone' thing. Most broken law in the country?

"For years he has railed against the nanny-state but yesterday it looks as though Jeremy Clarkson was caught flouting the very same draconian motoring laws he so detests."

this makes no sense, there is no irony in nany-state-hater clarkson breaking laws, shurely?