top ten things winona ryder has done in life

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[strike]Jack[strike] Winona: Harry! Tell me good news, man.
Howard Payne: Oh, I'm sorry, Jack. He didn't make it.
[strike]Jack[strike] Winona: You, FUCK!
Howard Payne: It was the watch that lead him to me, wasn't it? Huh? It seemed a little hammy to me to build a bomb out of my precious retirement gift, but, you know, I figured a sign that said "Howard Payne" would be pushing it.
[strike]Jack[strike] Winona: I'm gonna rip your fucking spine out, I swear to God.

― nickalicious, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:54 (seventeen years ago) link

DAMINT

― nickalicious, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:54 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha nick exactly! whatever happened to that red-headed jimmy-olsen's-evil-twin dude anyway? he was so reliable

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:54 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:55 (seventeen years ago) link

winona should NOT have been in pump up the volume, she should have been in the Matrix instead of keanu reeves. that movie would have been AWESS. basically, if she had replaced keanu in every movie he was ever in post-Bill &Ted's Bogus Journey we would be talking about a much cooler world.

Tracer Hand on Thursday, March 1, 2007 2:47 PM (9 minutes ago)

The love scene in Matrix Reloaded would've been kick-ass.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:59 (seventeen years ago) link

not to mention point break

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:01 (seventeen years ago) link

I think her voice also fails to match up to how pretty she is, which is just inevitably disappointing. but yeah, it's mostly that it hasn't changed since she was 13.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:02 (seventeen years ago) link

also, what are you talking about, Tracer Hand, Keanu Reeves was born to play Neo!

― horseshoe, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
~~Neo~~ Winona: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
~~Neo~~ Winona: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
AD LIB BY WINONA: Whatever.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Have you people forgotten Mermaids?

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I remember liking Mermaids when I was 13, but I doubt it would hold up. also didn't a 6-year-old Christina Ricci steal that movie from Ryder + Cher?

― horseshoe, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:08 (seventeen years ago) link

oh shit, mermaids

― gabbneb, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:10 (seventeen years ago) link

RUN

― HI DERE, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Dr. Reynolds: [KEANU thinks he is pregnant because he kissed Joe] Has your mother ever talked to you about sex?
~~Charlotte Flax~~ KEANU: Uh... oh yeah! All the time. We talk about everything. She's a wonderful mother.
Dr. Reynolds: So you do know how babies are made?
~~Charlotte Flax~~ KEANU: Oh, yeah.
Dr. Reynolds: Then why did you think you were pregnant? You're still a virgin.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:12 (seventeen years ago) link

NOT REVERSIBLE

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:14 (seventeen years ago) link

plus it's pre- bogus journey

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:14 (seventeen years ago) link

~~Don John~~WINONA: I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause and smile at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and claw no man in his humour.
Conrade: Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest.
~~Don John~~WINONA: I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and seek not to alter me.

― gabbneb, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:15 (seventeen years ago) link

ahahaha okay I didn't realize Keanu was going to play all of Winona's roles. that would rule.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Ugh, you've ruined "Heathers"!

― HI DERE, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:16 (seventeen years ago) link

this makes A Scanner Darkly even more difficult to understand, though

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:18 (seventeen years ago) link

To be fair, Samantha Mathis' character in PUTV was pretty similar Winona's Heathers character. She even had the same hairdo.

Thanks for this.

― G00blar, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:22 (seventeen years ago) link

both of those things are wrong, tho

― gabbneb, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:23 (seventeen years ago) link

WAI U BRAEK HART?

― G00blar, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:27 (seventeen years ago) link

they were both in Little Women. Mathis has always struck me as a bit Ryder manque.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Winona Ryder....Neo
Christian Slater...Trinity
Samuel L Jackson...Morpheus ("I said DON'T take the red pill god damn IT!")
Mel Gibson...Agent Smith

― nickalicious, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Mathas is normally blonde but had short dark hair in PUTV which is v Winona so I could see, many years later, how they might be confused. Esp with Christian S. thrown in the mix. I realize they weren't exactly the same.

― ENBB, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:40 (seventeen years ago) link

I suggest a gender-reversed Edwina Scissorhands with Winona as Scissorhands and old-school Harrison Ford in her role. Just to underline that fleeting moment where you're like "wait, why exactly did Vincent Price make it look like that, and what exactly is he planning to do with it after he gives it real hands???"

― nabisco, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Making out with Jake Ryan while Baby Ricci drowned has to be on the list.

― lindseykai, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:58 (seventeen years ago) link

that is true!

― horseshoe, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

have you forgotten HOW TO MAKE AN AMERICAN QUILT? unforgivable.

― La Lechera, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

that might be my least favorite movie of ever. Mathis is in it, too!

― horseshoe, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:01 (seventeen years ago) link

then again, the GIS proved that she managed to look pretty cute in that movie. i take it back. it was a terrible movie, though.

― La Lechera, Thursday, 1 March 2007 22:02 (seventeen years ago) link

nabisco otm with a chainsaw

― James Redd and the Blecchs, Friday, 2 March 2007 05:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Do I really need to be the first person to say "be in Edward Scissorhands?" I mean, how the fuck many of you have been in Edward Scissorhands?

― Sundar, Friday, 2 March 2007 07:19 (seventeen years ago) link

two months pass...

Had Forgotten About This

― C. Grisso/McCain, Thursday, 3 May 2007 18:19 (seventeen years ago) link

is that giovanni ribisi?

also i always hated that video because jon spencer is hot and i had a v big crush on him and quite frankly i found winona to be a v poor substitute.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 3 May 2007 18:29 (seventeen years ago) link

5. only ever showing her boobz in rotoscope

so emphatically not otm

― strongohulkington, Thursday, 3 May 2007 18:30 (seventeen years ago) link

i love the story about the crowd at the hard times cafe booing her when dave pirner brought her there. it's probably mpls apocrypha but whatev!

― gff, Thursday, 3 May 2007 19:07 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha

― ghost rider, Thursday, 3 May 2007 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't know, it seems plausible

― ghost rider, Thursday, 3 May 2007 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

ghost rider u been to hard times?

turkish breakfast is pretty awes. dave pirner, less so.

― gff, Thursday, 3 May 2007 20:41 (seventeen years ago) link

from mpls, spent a shitload of high school at hard times instead of high school

― ghost rider, Thursday, 3 May 2007 20:42 (seventeen years ago) link

o sweet. i had no idea. and i ignored most of the "who is ghost rider" controversy so i DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO etc anyway.

a strange and very small ethiopian guy gave me a printout of his poem to john paul II the last time i was there!

― gff, Thursday, 3 May 2007 20:47 (seventeen years ago) link

two years pass...

rewatched BEETLEJUICE recently and remember how totally in love w/ this girl i was ca. 1988–1992. first very popular new wave-influenced mainstream movie heroine? also was impressed by how cute she was but also how very totally jewish she looked as well (this was in the years surrounding my bar mitzvah, so i pretended to care about such things).

although if i'm being honest she was hottest during her trial.

― by another name (amateurist), Monday, 8 March 2010 08:51 (fourteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htm6rmBW2fc

forward to about 3:50

― by another name (amateurist), Monday, 8 March 2010 08:53 (fourteen years ago) link

I think her voice also fails to match up to how pretty she is, which is just inevitably disappointing.

i always liked her nasal, sort of viscous-sounding voice.

― by another name (amateurist), Monday, 8 March 2010 08:55 (fourteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEEfW7NzN8k

OMG at 0:09

sorry if i'm being a little weird, just reminiscing that's all

― by another name (amateurist), Monday, 8 March 2010 09:03 (fourteen years ago) link

are you on 77 am?

whole thread for this kind of TOTALLY LEGITIMATE ACTIVITY there, though not winona-specific

― the archetypal ghetto hustler (history mayne), Monday, 8 March 2010 10:05 (fourteen years ago) link

two years pass...

welcome home roxy carmichael

does this hold up after (gasp!) 22 years??!

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 3 May 2012 21:10 (twelve years ago) link

22 years?!!!

I instinctively want to FP you for just saying that

;_;

― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 3 May 2012 21:24 (twelve years ago) link

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