Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

My boss is completely incapable of not answering his cell phone. Whenever he's on the phone with a client and his cell phone rings, he covers the office phone with his hand, picks up the cell, and says "I'll have to call you right back ok thanks bye" and hangs up. Which seems more annoying to both parties than to just let it go to frickin' voicemail.

yup, pretty much hate anyone who does that. Which is my entire office.

1: "oh god, i have an ABBA song in my head"
2: "i have a kate nash song in mine"
1: "i don't know who that is, but it's probably better than ABBA"

(2 is now playing kate nash on speakers)(jesus, she is AWFUL)(this is america ps wtf you brits can keep her)

One of my workmates (otherwise a nice chap) has Del Tha Shithead Homosapien's 'Mr Dubboleenah' or whatever the fuck it is as his answer tone, and always leaves his mobile in his office when he goes anywhere (which is often), so that damn song goes off next door multiple times a day and plays on and on without anyone stopping it. If we had windows I'd throw the fucking thing out the window.

haha. weasel's opening post on this thread is hilarious btw.

I started making notes some time ago of the idiotic things my Gareth-like supervisor said- Here's one.

Me, after having been handed a candy with a picture of a calf on the wrapper:

"Oh, look at this cute picture of a calf!"

Him: "Not baa-aaa-aad!"

Me: That's a sheep, that makes a baa-ing noise, not a cow.

Him: (petulant silence)

What's with co-worker saying "Oh, that was fast" when you pass bluelines to them? We get out at 3pm and I've seen the damn thing 4 times already, you think I'm gonna read every word on all 108 pages again? At least I knew to proof that chart again and found THE OLD TYPO THAT WAS NEVER FIXED.

Get a load of the ad copy someone just handed me. As a jpeg, no less. I had to retype this.

Amid the abundant natural splendor that encapsulates the British Virgin Islands, there are a handful of locations that literally take one's breath away. The north coast of Tortola is such a place. It's as if each successive bay and stretch of beach is in direct competition, trying to outdo the other in terms of sheer, rapturous beauty. A delicate natural interplay -- swaying palms, dazzling white sand, shimmering water, mango and banana groves, verdant hillsides, and mesmerizing views -- causes one to rub one's eyes in disbelief. Surely, there is no better spot in the world. It is here, on Lambert Bay, a glorious stretch of beach that faces the setting sun at the eastern end of the island, that your home, R****** T******, will be built. Fifty private acres in a spectacular natural amphitheater where mountainside residences will look down upon a 200-foot stage on which a grand R****** resort will await. This is where lifelong dreams will be realized, and countless new ones will arise.

wow. who the fuck sends copy as a jpg!?

a glorious stretch of beach that faces the setting sun at the eastern end of the island

^and this makes no sense to me at all.

the whole thing causes me to rub my eyes in disbelief.

it makes sense if the island is shaped like, uh, cape cod, for lack of a better example

(xpost)

Does Smoove B write copy for your company?

"Girl, I will buy you tropical real estate. I will also serve juice."

"Also, there will be peas"

"Peas on earth, good will to all men"

"facing west"

Man, I always want to contribute to this thread, but when it comes to my co-workers, where does one begin?! They are awful people. Awful.

Haha I got "asked to resign" from that job I've bitched about for the last 2 years, recently. Blessed relief really (if rather embarrasing, I spose)

More hilariously though - dumb calendar guy and his annoying ice cube crunching and beatboxing may be gone... but I have now discovered my newly moved-in boyfriend crunches ice cubes and beat boxes ;_;

Well at least he beatboxes glitchy idm and not irritating 4/4 techno I suppose...

WAKE UP LADY! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO GET IT TOGETHER FOR THREE DAYS NOW!
http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee39/samgezee/sreepy.jpg

Haha well she is pretty decent at the posed sleeping, but she needs to figure out how better to support her head.

the guy that took this picture just got in trouble for showing it around the office and the lady found out!

Lady shouldn't have been sleeping.

coworker in cubicle next to yours CONSTANTLY holding very hush hush whispered conversations with people who stop by to talk to her: c/d?

Hush-hush conversations make me think someone is either leaving the company or is pregnant.

It's not that unless those things are happening every day here. I think it's just griping about this or that work related plus talk about what's happening with some of the higher ups? it's pretty silly though. at least my team has the decency to bitch in a normal tone of voice

Yeah I mean it's probably not good for my career longevity but I have a habit of saying really critical things about the mgt here just as I'm coming around a corner or into a room with someone from the mgmt team. Loudly. I figure you only have to be nice to the people below you; the people above you can take care of themselves.

Fortunately I'm not professionally ambitious.

More secrets in the next cube!! OMG what can it be that they're whispering about?

MUST QUIT NOW

Ugh I hate stage-whispered gossip at work. Its impossible to concentrate and not think "are they bitching about me or something?"

So there was this total brick, just a goomba (overnights in a grocery store, we only hire mutants), and he's talking to the two Mexican women who don't speak much English...

Goomba: "Oh man...my favorite movie is Friday After Next..."
Ladies: "..."
Goomba: "Friday After Next..."
Ladies: "..."
Goomba: "Friday After Next..."
Ladies: "..."
Goomba: "Friday After Next..."
Ladies: "..."
Goomba" Well anyway! There's this scene where this guy kicks a dog and this mexican guy's like (worst Mexican accent you've ever heard) 'eehhhhh ese! that's cruelty to aaaanimals ese!"

Not yet annoying, but our designer is currently waxing rhapsodic about tracking coyotes.

"I'd kill bambi. I'd chop her up. Serve her with a peppercorn dressing."

can someone tell me this: if your employee never starts up a conversation, it's always you who has to, would you bother to start talking to'em?

christ she's fucking annoying.

Most currently annoying coworker: never emails, but comes over to drop little "requests" on me in person. She sneaks up and stands behind my chair when I have headphones on, and I never notice she's there and I'm always on ILX or something. She's probably standing there reading this right now.

Also never says thank you.

60 year old co-worker. Two reasons:
- leant over the top of me and invaded my personal space
- exuded a stench of a cross between way over ripe fruit and mothballs that made me gag.

I hate our receptionist for many reasons. Today's reason: we get emails from our corporate overlords in Vancouver showing us pictures of their get-togethers and stuff like that, and her comment about this month's email was "they sure don't have a lot of white people working there, do they?" I can't wait until they close us down.

wow.
when are you moving here?

Maybe soon. Actually thinking about it if I decide not to move to Vancouver and can't find anything cool here.

I'm just going to send you this...have you got speakers on your computer...you'll need them...I've just sent it you...have you got it?...[computer bleeps]...is that it?...did I send it to you?...you'll need speakers...it's sooooo great...tell me when you've got it...

'It' turns out to be a slide show of cute animals and sunsets set to Celine Dion singing "I'm Alive".

Go on, turn it up!

"How do you pronounce this company? It's spelt: W-Y-E-D-E-A-N."

Are you frickin' kidding me?

why-eh-dee-en?

Arrrrrh this office is like an OVEN (plus I just walked back from the town centre and am pretty damn unfit) you cannot really be cold please turn the fan heater off please please oh god

/sizzle

(it is a grey but pleasant spring day out there, the windows are all shut, and there is never any air circulation in this room anyway)

Also it might be slightly more acceptable for you to put your jacket on than me to take my shirt off, especially since as hinted in previous post I currently resemble a fat red sweaty warthog

I thought the people of ILX would appreciate that mental image, especially at lunchtime

our scouse friend,

"actually i'm offended by the stereotyping of scousers"

later, talking about multiplayer video games

"i'll cheat whenever i can me, i'm always cheating i love it"

I'm gonna vent:

I already woke up in a slightly off mood, but now I'm full blown. My boss yelled at me (and everyone else, I wasn't singled out) for I don't even know what -- maybe because his computer is broke? Maybe because his insurance doesn't cover certain meds anymore? I don't know. He has apologized, but, you know, way to start off the day, Captain.

My co-worker, who is FINALLY getting married this Saturday (I have to go, too.) is really annoying me! For the past year, she's been taking work time to plan this fucker. An hour here, a morning there, half-days, whole days -- every week, all of the time! Apparently, this has got to be as important to us as it is her. At first, I was happy for her. I did the calligraphy on her invites, even. Now, I have to fake the happiness. Too, she comes into work, not really knowing what's going on, behind on her work and she's, get this, GRUMPY AT US. And why?

I'm tired of these people bringin' me down, man!
Amen -- I'm done, venting over!

Next up, you'll probably have to hear about her pregnancy and coo over ultrasound pictures!