itt a strange man asks if you saw the ass on that one

i mean the only guys who have ever done this ime are guys who i figure to be completely, 100% lost around women, so they deal with them through trying to find some common ground with other guys, like "hey we're all in this together, right?"

Pretty sure that it's more common than you think? Much like whatsits in your thingy.

lol omar, thx for explaining the impulse behind the WS threads on 77 so succinctly

trying not to wince at "whatists in your thingy"

I pass guys pretty reg who are discussing other women walking around. So it's not said TO me but I think it's common. Also have had guy friends tell me they're walking w a friend or GF and having strange men congratulate THEM on the female companion's rack/ass/etc.

http://www.tatteredcoat.com/images/heat-pacino-buggy.jpg

i don't think it's uncommon, but i think the strange man walking by is usually some sad-sack looking dude who wants to feel like part of "the brotherhood of men"

Also have had guy friends tell me they're walking w a friend or GF and having strange men congratulate THEM on the female companion's rack/ass/etc.

this is just nuts, i wouldn't even know what to say if someone said that to me.

these are the same guys who think Hank Moody is a rock star, and not a sad, sorry person whose life is in shambles.

Anyway, yes, a good point on thread is that a ~that guy~'s impulse to do this is in a solid relationship to his feelings of disempowerment/alienation from the status quo.

This is how it is about entitlement/ownership: if men feel shut out from a normal or "successful" world, one of the first things they do is band together against outsiders, frequently women, who have less power/lower status and can be safely used to prop up men's egos, even without the woman's knowledge (like when her azz is rated out of her hearing).

- Also have had guy friends tell me they're walking w a friend or GF and having strange men congratulate THEM on the female companion's rack/ass/etc.

- this is just nuts, i wouldn't even know what to say if someone said that to me

you say thank you and get on with your life. i used to date a model and guys would do this to me once in a while. esp at parties. the odd girl would do it too. i never really thought too much of it.

gbx did you, in fact, see "the ass on that one"?

i'd also like to say i think this thread is retarded.
xpost

pretty disrespectful if it's rack and ass comments. i mean general "wow she's really attractive" comments are not a big deal.

i mean the only guys who have ever done this ime are guys who i figure to be completely, 100% lost around women, so they deal with them through trying to find some common ground with other guys, like "hey we're all in this together, right?"

― jØrdån (omar little), Tuesday, December 1, 2009 2:36 PM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

totally otm. i might also sub "around people" for "around women," for the reasons laurel stated (ie dudes are kinda out of the mainstream in general and women are a 'safe' bet for singling out because, hey, they're just chicks right!). that being said, it still seems like the appropriate other guy response to that guy is still just sort of a wan smile or total disregard.

dan, i actually didn't!

yeah that's kinda what i do.

xxx-post i was gonna say, its pretty polite commentary to be like "yr signficant other is attractive" but there really isn;t a male analogue to balance out "i was @_@ yr lady's can". not like any of my wife's friends are like "daaaaaaamn your husband's got some dick on him".

This is how it is about entitlement/ownership: if men feel shut out from a normal or "successful" world, one of the first things they do is band together against outsiders

To be totally clear, this impulse is universal and not unique to men...but when women do it, they aren't able to target the opposite gender because that shit really only rolls downhill one way, and issues of sexual aggressiveness/public embarrassment and definitely physical/sexual risk leave women at a disadvantage every time.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/sevenxviii/Irespectyouasaperson.jpg

i hope that marc loi engages in homosocial bonding by going to strip clubs and giving stern lectures to the patrons.

i think if i met marc loi i would feel compelled to say something lewd about a woman's can, just to get the full experience

considering starting a madrigal group called The Marc Loi Experience

i would like to subscribe to yr madrigal group's newsletter

i still kinda object to the "ownership" and racism-equating here. if i see a guy standing on top of the space needle and point it out to a random passerby (recently happened), i am not claiming ownership over the event or person in question. i'm just expressing interest, and sharing that interest, attempting to forge some human connection, however trivial/momentary.

the expression of sexual interest is more complex and socially loaded, but underlying impulse is similarly value-neutral. ~that~ guy sees a woman, and since he doesn't know her and won't approach her, she's abstract to him. because he doesn't know her, she cannot be anything but abstract to him. a shape, an idea, a set of possibilities - some gross, some not. we all "own" our conception of strangers in this sense, but there's nothing wrong with any of it.

in sharing his ass-fancy with some stranger, ~that~ guy attempts to expand his vision out from himself, to forge some human connection with it. since he's not shouting about it or approaching the woman in question, we suppose that he understand the social boundaries involved well enough not inflict himself on her directly. but his crudity is nonetheless off-putting.

i guess i don't see the transgression. to see and to lust is neither right nor wrong, it's simply how human beings work. it'd be nice if we were all more gracious in dealing with this, but we're not, so...

the expression of sexual interest is more complex and socially loaded, but underlying impulse is similarly value-neutral.

disagree

ass-fancy is a little too close to fuck-want

admittedly a better read than cat-fancy

assage

allow me to assage you all

oh god what is this i wield

there's this weird tacit vibe i'm getting that finding someone attractive and wanting to have sex with him or her is an inherently bad or wrong thing

itt a ass man asks if you saw the strange on that one

kevin you should be in church

This is how it is about entitlement/ownership: if men feel shut out from a normal or "successful" world, one of the first things they do is band together against outsiders, frequently women, who have less power/lower status and can be safely used to prop up men's egos, even without the woman's knowledge (like when her azz is rated out of her hearing).

I don't know where to begin with this - "band together against outsiders"?

there's this weird tacit vibe i'm getting that finding someone attractive and wanting to have sex with him or her is an inherently bad or wrong thing

Really struggling w any kind of answer to this, tbh. I don't THINK that's what I'm saying but then again I can remember the few times that someone's appearance has made me think of sex. Usually it just isn't even connected.

the dude is reaching out to another human being because he is sexually and emotionally frustrated. it has nothing to do with asserting or taking advantage of gender status.

I mean obv he is crepey

http://www.ugo.com/lifestyle/school-fashion/images/entries/Band-of-Outsiders-Trench-Coat.jpg

it kinda does

not something that can be easily explained on the internet though bc people will get all "are you saying wanting to have sex w/ someone is BAD?!?!?!"

tbf they would irl too but it's different

Curtis, that is just not true. Given the existing ugh...power? I don't know the approved academic words for this -- disparity between genders, it's not even possible! When men perve on women to other men, esp women doing nothing more than minding their own business in public, it is about having the right to make them a thing, a body part, to other people!

I can remember the few times that someone's appearance has made me think of sex

i can remember the 10+ times today that someone's appearance has made me think of sex.

FACTS
XP?

Maybe I was being a little hyperbolic w the "band together" thing but that seems like a human nature 101 thing to me, that when under perceived threat, people pull their personal or group identities inward to exclude those who might be part of the threat or at least are Not Like Them. That guy who shot a bunch of women in a gym is the extreme of this, but basically talking about women on the street is like the "harmless" end of the same thing. Not actually harmless at all of course.

When men perve on women to other men, esp women doing nothing more than minding their own business in public, it is about having the right to make them a thing, a body part, to other people!

do you think this is still true if a man is talking to a close (male or female) friend? just curious.

it's hard for me to conceptualize sexual interest and/or the desire to express that interest as good or bad, right or wrong. that's what i meant by "underlying impulse".

understand that some forms of real-world sexual expression are socially undesirable (perhaps threatening or even harmful), therefore appropriately shunned or even punished. but it's perfectly okay to desire and to wish to express it, right? it seems to me that people desire and objectify not because they want to or choose to or are taught to, but simply because they do. because that is the way the human animal works.

i would fault ~this~ guy for the crudity and thoughtlessness of his attempted camaraderie, but not for anything else.

if only ~those~ guys would sack up and respectfully approach the women they find so attractive maybe there'd be more love in this fucked-up little world

i was gonna post the ready or not scene where the disgusting jr high boys give rates out of 10 to all the girls that walk down the hallway by their locker but the clip is like 10 mins long

i would fault ~this~ guy for the crudity and thoughtlessness of his attempted camaraderie, but not for anything else.

^^

and the crudity has a lot to do with what laurel is saying - but I don't think that secretly thinking "dude is right, that chick was slammin" puts you at the same fault as creepy dude