itt a strange man asks if you saw the ass on that one

lol so lj you realize you just said that everyone on the 77 WS threads is on the slippery slope to becoming molesters, right

we already knew that

Guys, it's 11:30 on the East Coast. Time for a Diet Coke break.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdrE1VMxzoE

Doing it on an internet forum about celebrities is very different from doing it in real life about people who breathe the same air. I still find it distasteful here but it's more art-crit than raptor.

I am confident that the minute I open my mouth it will become clear that I am a lot more than "a chunk of livestock at a cattle market".

― bear say hi to me (ENBB), Wednesday, December 2, 2009 10:26 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I don't think it's that the men who do this are few and far between; it's that the men who do this CONSTANTLY NON-STOP AT ALL TIMES REGARDLESS OF SITUATION AND BOUNDARIES are few and far between.

― Huckabee Jesus lifeline (HI DERE), Wednesday, December 2, 2009 10:27 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

both A+ posts. Laurel seems to have a problem with people judging her on her looks before even getting a chance to know her on any other level. Very few people AREN'T bothered by that, men or women. It sucks but it's a fact of life. Obv being rude in any way about it or harrassing someone is abhorrent.

i'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me because this just doesn't bother me very much
it happens, somewhat infrequently, but just doesn't offend me in the same deep way it seems to get to laurel
it rarely actually offends me at all

you've got a tough hide...er let me rephrase that

example: one of my students winked and called me "ladyfriend" once and i just said "i am your teacher, not your ladyfriend" and he never did it again. he's just a doofus, not some predatory man-wolf.

ladyfriend?? is he like 70 y.o

well I think the thing is that ppl have wildly variable internal responses to ~this guy~ but I'd hope we'd all agree that a) it's not wrong for anyone to be just deeply upset by it and b) regardless of how you feel about the structural/sexual/political/metaphysical w/e that underpin this behavior, it's still not allowed and ought to be discouraged, basically because of (a)

just be excellent to each other imo

Doing it on an internet forum about celebrities is very different from doing it in real life about people who breathe the same air.

hey here is a shocking newsflash for you: CELEBRITIES ARE PEOPLE WHO BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS YOU DO

xp: I would remove the "still not allowed" part because it is patently obvious that it IS still allowed; otherwise yes, I agree.

i meant it in a poetic 'same immediate air, are in vicinity, are accessible IRL' way but whatevs

I don't think it's that the men who do this are few and far between; it's that the men who do this CONSTANTLY NON-STOP AT ALL TIMES REGARDLESS OF SITUATION AND BOUNDARIES are few and far between.

This is the opposite of what this thread is saying, a lot of guys on here are saying, that's normal, all men think like that all the time, get used to it because it's not up to you. Now you want to have that both ways?

well the behavior I was referring to was that of the dude at the liquor store, not some hypothetical ilxor checking someone out

he was being a creep and should cio

he's like, 25? 26?
either way it was laughable and nothing else. i guess i have never expected that i am in control of my public image, and people are going to think whatever they want. how they behave is another matter -- it's not acceptable to continue to make people feel uncomfortable after they have expressed (verbally or otherwise) that they are uncomfortable.

That is actually not at all what this thread is saying, Laurel.

Or, at least, that is not what I'm saying.

It wasn't the original topic, but it has been said on this thread, and is frquently taken as true on ILX in general, and DEFINITELY in the world at large. Hence my over-emotional response, probably.

has anyone posted haters gonna hate dot gif? it is relevant to this thread!

I'm sorry guys - you lost me. Can you just clarify exactly what it is that is frequently taken as true on ILX and in the world at large? thx.

I was wondering that too just cuz a I did not read all of yesterdays business and b I think ppl are talking at cross purposes, which is normal for a clusterfucky thread

okay different women can have different responses to something and nobody need be considered "over-emotional"

well I think the thing is that ppl have wildly variable internal responses to ~this guy~ but I'd hope we'd all agree that a) it's not wrong for anyone to be just deeply upset by it and b) regardless of how you feel about the structural/sexual/political/metaphysical w/e that underpin this behavior, it's still not allowed and ought to be discouraged, basically because of (a)

― crazy farting throwback jersey (gbx), Wednesday, December 2, 2009 11:56 AM (12 minutes ago)

i think this is right. i'm not that emotional about it the majority of the time because what is there to do, and i am a hetero and i know a lot of nice ppl, but i do wish people wouldn't act like getting upset and having it color your interactions with "normal" dudes is totally irrational and you should get over it. patronizing in my opinion

lol me & horseshoe forever

<3 <3 <3

yeah I was gonna say: what bothers me the most itt is that laurel feels the need to have to defend her rxn.

yeah and that passing spacecadet said she didn't like how people were all like "get over it" and guess what she got

i just want to say, Laurel, apart from the race stuff, i think you are routinely brave and awesome in these threads and i thank you!

I don't think it's that the men who do this are few and far between; it's that the men who do this CONSTANTLY NON-STOP AT ALL TIMES REGARDLESS OF SITUATION AND BOUNDARIES are few and far between.

This is the opposite of what this thread is saying, a lot of guys on here are saying, that's normal, all men think like that all the time, get used to it because it's not up to you. Now you want to have that both ways?

― WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Wednesday, December 2, 2009 12:00 PM (7 minutes ago)

for the billionth time, you're not distinguishing 'thinking' and 'acting'. i have the right to objectify anyone i like; the onus is on me to react to these feelings in an appropriate manner in a working or social environment, or suffer the legal/disciplinary or social consequences (respectively)

Of course it's not wrong. If it upsets you, it upsets you! I'm just still a little unclear to what exactly it is that ppl find upsetting. Is it the fact sometimes people say wildly inappropriate things based on a woman's appearance? That's what I thought this was initially about. However, it seems to have become about men making judgements about women based around whether or not they find them sexually attractive. If it's the later then I really don't understand why this is upsetting. Of course men do this. We all do this on some level whether we realize it or not.

i've known enough crepey dudes in my life that laurel's rxn is justified

kevin the component of this that you are missing is exactly the thing that a passing spacecadet articulated that you then blew off as "overthinking"

I think there are two entirely distinct ways of interpreting the phrase "everyone does this offensive behavior nonstop". One is that, at any given point in time, someone is exhibiting the behavior described. The other is that everyone is exhibiting this behavior at all times. It is certainly understandable to be creeped out when you are talking about scenario B and someone else is talking about scenario A.

yeah kev you are sort of missing the point imo?

srs: breifly describe the "point"

If he is missing the point than I am too. Sorry but it's just not clear. There is a huge distinction between thinking and acting that needs to be made but hasn't.

the social interaction part of this b/n the two guys is massively uncomfortable imo. its like the guy is telling you he has a boner

lol!

It's like he's leading into inviting you over to his house to watch videos.

lol bnw otm

kev I guess what I perceive u missing is what spacecadet laid out: even tho u and lots of ppl routinely "objectify" or w/e attractive ppl in the street, it is still perfectly acceptable and rational to find that fact upsetting

i think laurel is totally reasonable and otm itt

Except for the predilection towards writing "nigger" for no reason, you mean.

ok if i havent made this clear, i don't disagree with that (3rica has said the same thing). i just don't think that's what we've spent 500 posts arguing about!

xp gbx

when I worked at a library the dudes who used to come in and watch porn always brought two liter bottles of sprite in with them for some reason

You ran a porn library?

kev I guess what I perceive u missing is what spacecadet laid out: even tho u and lots of ppl routinely "objectify" or w/e attractive ppl in the street, it is still perfectly acceptable and rational to find that fact upsetting

― crazy farting throwback jersey (gbx), Wednesday, December 2, 2009 12:23 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

GBX - please clarify whether you are talking about people doing this and voicing it outloud or just doing this internally.

nah I worked in the basement of a university library, on my training day the dude showing me around was like "uh people come in here and watch porn, call the cops if its child porn"

Were the bottles empty?