itt a strange man asks if you saw the ass on that one

Max no, of course not but I don't think that anyone itt thought anyone actually said that some thoughts should be illegal. I *think* they were saying that when you start saying some thoughts are not OK to have that you might as well be saying they should be illegal.

did u guys know that it is actually impossible to have someone police your thoughts??

If there's no porn that you find offensive and fucked up, your filtering mechanism is underdeveloped.

ugh it is like--if i come in somewhere and am like "yall there are some words that are not ok to say," i dont think anyone would be like "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CENSOR--KILL YOURSELF FACIST" but the minute the word "thoughts" comes into play everyone gets all 1984

i have had a few thoughts which i have regretted and have censured myself for - fortunately i am pretty tolerant w/ non-harmful predilections so most stuff sails on by with a twitch of the eyebrow

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CENSOR--KILL YOURSELF FACIST :-( Who said that? I hope it didn't sound like I said anything remotely like that anywhere.

no i was exaggerating for comic effect--you have been very pleasant on this thread erica

i mostly just mean shakey and contenderizer getting all self-righteous about their right to have thoughts or whatever

aw, Erica, you totally didn't, you've been totally nice in this thread

lol xpost

totally

most people on this thread - the ones who have actually gone into depth and plumbed their own souls abt this - have been very pleasant and interesting

also what is the position if a strange man asks if you saw the ass on lara croft/his drawing/marge simpson

is that just sad or is it creepy or is it kinda both, and is the guy a sexual terrorist or just one in waiting

Hahahahahaha I know you were exaggerating for comic effect it's just that all of asudden I'm completely paranoid about upsetting ppl now. I'm sorry guys. Like I'm sitting here going omg is he being facetious? Me = ridiculous.

i am really having trouble wrapping my head around this idea that your thoughts are just like, doing as they please in your brain and don't even try to control them because they are just happening, like your thoughts are separate from you? who is driving this thing?

^ me thinking thoughts to myself btw

your animal sexuality is driving ur thoughts harbl

and if u try to deny ur animalistic rape urges why youre no better than adolf hitler

i was thinking 2day because of this thread abt how last winter i was on the train one night and this young girl like mb 15-16 leaned into me and kissed my cheek really lightly and then she and her friends bolted off at the next stop laughing like maniacs and i kept wondering if it was because i was p disgusting and that made the dare more ~daring~ or mb they tht i was cuet

idk i dont think i wld like ppl thinking about my body its p unnerving and makes me feel bad & ppl p much never do so laurel otm imo

i stopped reading this thread like 150 posts ago fyi

sometimes it is surprising, when one is a divergent thinker, what the brain can muster; often it is one's job to steer away with a sniff; the flywheel of one's idle imagination is to be indulged and titillated but if one entertains something that will either have no good consequences or is completely futile for too long, the mania can actually affect one's behaviour for the worse

ugh i gotta stop using the word 'actually'

i think all i want from this thread is some evidence that sometimes men consider what it might be like to be a woman in this situation tbh

i have no clue what any of that means with all due respect! xpost

i think all i want from this thread is some evidence that sometimes men consider what it might be like to be a woman in this situation tbh

thats y i posted that stupid story!!!!

i know that's why i posted that ty!

i liked that story, lampie

LOUIS YOU ARE FROM ENGLAND. SPEAK ENGLISH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. ;)

i think all i want from this thread is some evidence that sometimes men consider what it might be like to be a woman in this situation tbh

― horseshoe, Wednesday, December 2, 2009 11:06 PM (32 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i cant believe the thought police are forcing me to think like a woman and deny all of my natural god-given sex appetites

yeah it seems analogous to arguments i've had about porn where someone critiques aspects of it and another person argues, saying "well banning all pornography is a violation of freedom of expression and fascist to boot!" and it's like, when did i ever say i advocated banning pornography? it's not okay to point out some things about some pornography are fucked up?

nb i am kind of fascist tho :-/

― horseshoe, Wednesday, December 2, 2009 9:55 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah but see this has reminded me, too, of a stupid argument i had recently with a friend that ended up going to logical extremes---he was asserting that ANY woman ANYwhere that exchanged ANY kind of sexual favor (this includes porn) for ANY remuneration was, for real, "pitiable" and was the actual victim (whether she knew it or not!!!!) of an ageless, gendered, power gradient. which was one of those rules that might be true in practice (like our now hypothetical/strawman crepe) but that is also demolished by the exception. a square is a rhombus, but not vice-versa, etc

i mean sometimes i think that that kind of argument (i realize "that kind of argument" is hell of vague, but bear with me) is waaaaaay more sexist than the alternative, you know?

one time a dude told me he thought maleness was more defining of who he was than human-ness. like dude thought he had more in common with a male parrot than a human female, i guess.

Lamp - I like that story too because it's fascinating to me how ppl have different reactions to things. Before I read the second have of your post I was thinking awwwwwwwww that's really sweet - those girls had a little crush!

i am not sure what "that kind of argument" is? mine or your friends? i left mine purposefully vague lol

xposts to evan

yeah but see this has reminded me, too, of a stupid argument i had recently with a friend that ended up going to logical extremes---he was asserting that ANY woman ANYwhere that exchanged ANY kind of sexual favor (this includes porn) for ANY remuneration was, for real, "pitiable" and was the actual victim (whether she knew it or not!!!!) of an ageless, gendered, power gradient. which was one of those rules that might be true in practice (like our now hypothetical/strawman crepe) but that is also demolished by the exception. a square is a rhombus, but not vice-versa, etc

I agree with your assessment of this but I don't think that it's an unusual opinion for ppl to have. I hear this sort of think a lot tbh.

I assumed he was talking about his friend's argument.

i think a lot of times guys kinda pretend to have less of an understanding of what women go thru than they really do, that this kind of insecurity isnt supposed to be a part of 'maleness' so they deal w/ it by trying to bury it or something & instead it comes out in unhealthy ways

argh my brain is fried. I meant "half" not "have" and "thing" not "think" obv.

one time a dude told me he thought maleness was more defining of who he was than human-ness. like dude thought he had more in common with a male parrot than a human female, i guess.

― horseshoe, Wednesday, December 2, 2009 10:09 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

best animal bros

i think a lot of times guys kinda pretend to have less of an understanding of what women go thru than they really do, that this kind of insecurity isnt supposed to be a part of 'maleness' so they deal w/ it by trying to bury it or something & instead it comes out in unhealthy ways

― ice cr?m hand job (deej), Wednesday, December 2, 2009 11:14 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah i'm sure that's right. it's a drag.

i am saying that often i visualise sexual activity with people or between people i see or hear about; in some situations this is funny or excusable, but in most it jars horribly with any 'real' relationship we'd have, or it is voyeuristic; i have to admit i find certain 'taboo' or 'wrong' things fairly hot, in theory, but i can't think about them too much because the practice isn't good news, and in thinking about them i justify their existence. but then i am exceptionally liberal about things like sexual predilections, and regarding many practices it is a case-by-case issue as to whether i'd approve or not. as for creeping or imposing upon women, i figure i'm better off keeping my thoughts to myself unless i'm damn sure they'd be welcomed; i try and keep myself in check, and a relationship on non-sexual terms, until i've ascertained that a nicely commingled mindset has been established. there's so much more to lust and longing than the sexual acts themselves.

lj at least use bullet points or something i mean

Can I ask you guys a question without causing another shitstorm? OK good.

Do you think it's as offensive, not quite as bad or not bad at all/entirely different for a women to be called "beautiful" by a stranger as it to have someone say, for example, "damn you're sexy" or something like that? I guess I'm wondering if catcalls are so abhorrent because they're usually sexual in nature or if any comment directed at a woman based on her appearance would cause a similar level of offense to those ppl who are really disturbed by this.

IMO I'd rather not be told anything of that nature by a complete stranger but "beautiful" is preferable to "sexy" bcz it's less Tex Avery arooga-wolf tho I am reluctant to say it's more tactful.

no, i think it really depends on the comment and a lot of intangibles in the context, Erica. i've definitely been chatted up by random men in a way that was respectful before, and those encounter are awesome, they kind of make this whole man-woman thing seem less doomed.

to me, obviously anyone who does not feel like the man-woman thing is doomed is to be commended and envied! by me.

This is sort of an aside but being told to smile (which happens p often) pisses me off way more than any comment I've ever received about body/face/whatever but as I said earlier I sort of just shrug this stuff off. Also, I am 40% deaf in my left ear which comes in handy when I don't want to hear certain things.

oh i meant my friend's argument: he was, forgive me, actually being cap'n save a ho. that is, i said to him (not in so many words but) "well i think there exists at least some cohort of women that are ACTUALLY a-ok with exchanging sexual acts for whatever and i do not think that they are being trammeled over by the patriarchy...the decisions they are making are not the necessary result of paternalistic/male hegemony" or what the fuck ever. he REFUSED to believe this, and was basically like no all women that do this are victims and are only doing it to appease men and i feel very guilty about it and that's when i sorta peaced out because that shit is actually just bananas and very easily read as sexist

well you don't really know what the stranger's intent in saying that was, though if it were me i'd like to think they were just trying to be nice, even if it's a little gauche. Could see why others would see differently though

xp e

this thread is not so bad w/o people popping in and being like "ooooh what a clusterfuck" and getting all meta about it, imo
i think it is less bad because it's all on a spectrum but it might bother me not because of that particular stranger's comment but the cumulative effect of other public comments? it also depends a lot on the environment and other stuff...

those encounters usually involve a single man, rather than a man with his buddies, and they usually involve him not getting too physically close. ime.

btw everyone itt has been super reasonable imo

Kev - just to clarify - you're talking about the smile comment, right?

yeah, i mean even the encounters that end up going well, i sort of tense up when the dude approaches due to accumulated experience.