itt a strange man asks if you saw the ass on that one

whoa yeah just read smile comment...sorry if you read it that way!

i was responding more to the idea that it would be *bad* to attempt to keep bad thought patterns in check

http://www.tvshowsondvd.net/graphics/news3/ClarissaExplainsItAll_S1.jpg xps to louis

ok i see, i had a real stemwinding rant queued up there

to me, obviously anyone who does not feel like the man-woman thing is doomed is to be commended and envied! by me.

― horseshoe, Wednesday, December 2, 2009 11:21 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

I am beginning to think that, in some ways, I choose to be a little intentionally naive when it comes to some of these things because if I really let myself over analyze it it would just be too depressing and overwhelming. Also, I have a deep dark riot grrl past ;-) during which I spent a lot of time being RAWR ANGRY and I think that at a certain point I realized that for me that was just too draining and not very productive for me on a personal level.

that seems totally right-on!

I'm not trying to contradict myself in earlier posts. I'm still 100% OK with the fact that some strangers may objectify me and think of me in a sexual way etc. I think that's normal and natural. What is not OK is the way that some people handle those thought and the resulting inappropriate conduct.

right of course otm etc!

So much to be angry about, so little time.

haw

Like you know what was awesome? That time when I was bartending and escorted a regular who was wasted to the point of puking home at which point he locked me in his house and demanded I take off my clothes and fuck him. NOT OK.

btw - he then tried to win my forgiveness by bribing me with pot so I had him banned from the bar.

gbx i think thinking about bad stuff is ok and healthy and normal too. i know i have read about a lot of bad stuff! it's not the particular bits of info that are the problem if you can handle them maturely *most* of the time, which is something you can control. that's what i meant.

arghhhhh enbb :(

that is quite a strong argument for the universal female assumption of non-lethal incapacitory weaponage xxxp

no, i know, i get that now harbl

xp :( erica, that is awful

that is quite a strong argument for the universal female assumption of non-lethal incapacitory weaponage xxxp

― a. cole, u thic (acoleuthic), Wednesday, December 2, 2009 11:44 PM (29 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you talk in fucken mad libs

i'm so sorry, Erica.

Yeah, I'd sort of forgotten about it. That was pretty bad. He kept saying how he thought I'd wanted to fuck him because I had taken him home while I tried to explain that I'd only wanted to make sure he got in the door OK because otherwise he'd have spent the night sleeping on a city bench which is really where I should have left him. Eh, in the end I got some weed and never had to see him again so it was't all that bad.

What did you do at the moment, though? Was he drunk enough that you could punch him in the throat?

erica I admire that you want to investigate why you feel the way you do. I think maybe what you and I were trying to get @ earlier (and forgive/slap me if I'm putting words in your mouth here) is that maybe it'd benefit laurel to undergo a similar self-analysis, namely, why she reacts so negatively to all this. those feelings are 100% legitimate of course, but when it's a constant thing bugging you it becomes deleterious imo and doesn't get you anywhere, so maybe there's something else going on

I shouldn't single out laurel here though, she's not the only one who feels that way

and ugh that story...that's awful

i am really okay with women having whatever reactions to the threat of sexual violence that is real in the world that they need to have to make them feel okay, you know?

I mean it was bad but, you know. I guess that's what I meant earlier about being willfully naive. I've had some pretty shitty stuff happen to me over the years yet still like to hope things aren't doomed in terms of male/female relations and view ppl like that guy as the minority while I know fully well that he might not be.

You seem like a nice enough, k3vin, but stfu.

guys can we not psychoanalyze other ilxors, plz? unseemly imo

xposts

i don't think you're naive at all, Erica.

lol "guys" whoops

You seem like a nice enough, k3vin, but stfu.

― Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Wednesday, December 2, 2009 11:50 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Kevin should have at least had the courtesy to wonder if the guy was out of her league.

You, sir, are welcome to eat my ass any time you wish to.

alright yall ima just quit while I'm behind :)

Next time just leave out names, is all.

Kenan - I don't think I'd even know how to hit someone. lol. To be honest, I was so stunned that I just kind of stood there for a while arguing with him before I was like wait WTF am I doing and tried to find the phone so I could call a cab. I'd just moved to Boston and didn't know the city at all so when I found the phone and called the cab company (the cab that dropped us off left even though I specifically asked him to wait for me for 5 mins until I got the dude inside) I had to ask the guy for the address again and he refused to tell me. He then wound up passing out and I spent about an hour searching for anything in the house with the address on it. Finally found a piece of mail and called a taxi who took about 30 mins to show up. Then I freaked out and started crying and called my housemate who was frantic by that point because he was waiting up and I was about two hours late at this point.

OK so yeah that was actually a pretty shitty night. In retrospect it was really fucking dumb of me to escort him home but he was a "nice guy" and we were "friends" and I was lol 21 and more actually naive than willfully naive at that point in time.

that is a thing anyone could have done. doesn't make you dumb, he was just a bad dude.

Yeah, no I know that and just to be clear this wasn't just some drunk dude putting the moves on. That would have been a different story entirely This was straight up, "Take off your clothes. Aren't we going to fuck? No? Then why are you here bitch?"

So hey guys how about that ass, huh? ;-)

Slammin, but I say so with certain reservations.

Geez could I post more about my dumb story? Sry for monopolizing thread.

! not dumb, no need to apologize...rape and the threat of rape are kind of at the heart of this thread, i think?

I don't think "dumb" is the world for that story.

I know but I'm just self-conscious about posting so much on one thread. Damn you ppl for making me think! I blame you all. ;)

ha yeah eventually all the things i have to say about this become personal, too. :-/

I guess that in some ways that is inevitable. I'm a pretty open person but after I wrote that all I was like damn I overshared etc.

move to TMI? srsly?

If E wants me to I will.

No!! Wait do you think it's TMI? I think I'm totally OK with it being here and ppl seeing it I was just sort of surprised that I'd shared all that without hesitation. In the end it's a story about some asshole and not something that I'm ashamed of or care about ppl reading.

fwiw E I don't feel like you (or anyone else) overshared or said anything TMI.

Yeah no, me neither. Leave it where it is imo.

but thanks for asking Ev!

when this thread was just getting started, on that fateful friday night, I balked at posting "hey sounds like you ran into my Uncle Grant," cause I've got this minnesota bachelor farmer uncle, black sheep of the family, goes by the name of Grant see, and he's family infamous for having once remarked about how "all men should be allowed one rape" in front of my sister, who was 16 at the time. to make things worse, he pressured her into eating an oyster later that night, which she promptly vomited up. for the rest of the trip out there she was visibly creeped out by him, and remains so to this day.

anyway, seems kinda counter-productive to discuss the ~these~ guys in your own family in an otherwise productive thread, but in the spirit of relating personal or at least familiar anecdotes regarding rape and the threat of rape... that's my Uncle Grant story.