Tiger Woods car/life crash

mistresses of rich dudes get hella pissed and vindictive when they find out there are other "other women" and they go into total destruct mode w/their former fling

1.) Rachel Uchitel. The club hostess

2.) Jamie Grubbs. The 24-year-old reality show contestant

3.) Kalika Moquin. The 27-year-old club manager from Las Vegas
4.) Cori Rist. The 31-year-old swimsuit model

5.) Jamie Jungers. The 26-year-old former employee of Trashy Girls Lingerie.

6.) Mindy Lawton. The 33-year-old pancake house waitress

7.) Holly Sampson. The 36-year-old former porn star

8.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 8. A former cocktail waitress

9.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 9 is reported to be a “sexy” British TV presenter

10.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 10. is a “sex-addicted cougar.”

11.) Joslyn James. The star of many, many porn videos

Geeze, and here we were all lead to believe that being a billionaire athlete lead to bedding fancy-schmanzy gals -- but no.

lead/led - same thing

So far Moquin and Jungers are the only ones even remotely as attractive as his wife.

Sorry, none of them are as attractive as his wife imo

His wife's okay-looking, but whatevs.

― Johnny Fever, Friday, November 27, 2009 11:43 PM (1 week ago)

this thread's title really isn't accurate anymore, can we get a mod to change it to "Tiger Woods trainwreck"?

Sorry, none of them are as attractive as his wife imo

― Astronaut Mike Dexter (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Tuesday, December 8, 2009 11:48 PM (Yesterday)

been doin ur research eh

im still gonna root for tiger but this is weird as hell

srs question time: how long until the inevitable sex tape?

there are pix of his junk out there if you care to seek that out.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2471334/naked_tiger_woods_pictures_next.html?cat=9

what i'm taking away from all this is that apparently a hugely famous rich married guy can really run through a lot of hos for a long time before any of it's made public, but once one is common knowledge they all stand to be counted

^^^solid analysis

basically how i break it down to an extent

his career trajectory no longer seems at all mysterious

He's always seemed like a dick only interested in money, but seriously good luck from here on out bro. On the other hand I'm sure he'll come out of this just fine.

I can't see a lots going to change. He's got a ton of money, he can still play golf, and now he'll be rid of that pesky ball and chain of a wife and kids and he can get back to fucking without having to worry about it getting back to them. It's a WIN WIN situation.

silicon, ambien and sweet par fives forever (ever...ever...ever...ever...)

Mindy Lawton. The 33-year-old pancake house waitress

Inspired by Sideways.

More good news, this book...
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01539/book_1539951c.jpg
...seen in his car has gone up in value. Anyone want my copy (VG+ with slight reading crease) for £40?

What Ned said. Although I think the PR guys are gonna BEG them to stay married.

He's always seemed like a dick only interested in money, but seriously good luck from here on out bro.

And this.

I don't think he's ever said word one about money -- his motivation has been major championships and breaking Nicklaus' and other's records.

Yeah but when you're valued at $1 billion or whatever did you ever NEED to say a word about money?

List above omits this piece of info from Fox:

7.) Holly Sampson. The 36-year-old former porn star, who has starred in such films as "OMG, Stop Tickling Me..."

He's always seemed like a dick only interested in money, but seriously good luck from here on out bro.

i have a feeling his luck with money is still going to be about 89482x better than mine, so sucks to be him seriously this is a crisis

"He's always seemed like a dick only interested in money...."

No, I echo the guy above. He wants to beat Nicklaus' record. That's all he cares about. The cash and the chicks are just gravy. He doesnt even give a shit about the Ryder Cup.

Yeah, I can imagine bigger crises than having a lot of girlfriends. I mean, is there some booty ban at golf tournaments? If he gets divorced, it'll be just like any/every other celebrity divorce: he'll look stupid, lose a lot of money, then take a refreshing swim in the pool he keeps filled with gold krugerrands (Billy Joel has one too, I hear). Then he'll play a lot more golf and continue to win a lot.

and he can legitimately be a playah in the open (as well as being a player in the Open) rather than having to maintain any of this troublesome clean cut image

as has already been stated, he's gonna bring golf to another level again because of this. single playa tiger beefin the swedes in '10

maybe, but it's hard to be the face of Accenture when you're a punchline

single playa tiger beefin the swedes in '10

EA Sports have gone downhill...

I'd assumed that being Mr Corporate Billion-Dollar-Man and World's Greatest Sportsman was a full-full-time pursuit - it's quite annoying to find out he had all this spare time too.

Yeah, but some people play golf in their spare time.

Did you hear about the survey of 1,000 blondes who were asked if they would sleep with Tiger Woods? 85% said 'never again'.

The stupidest thing you will ever read. (Warning: Bill Plaschke content.)

Sorry Ned, that doesn't even come close, and I usually have zero tolerance for Plaschke.

Not even this?

It has continued throughout the year into December, a month that has devolved into a national search for the one woman who has not claimed to have had sex with Tiger Woods.

Surely she's out there somewhere, feeling embarrassed and alone.

i wonder, considering how concerned tiger wood has always seemed to be about his image (kinda reminds me of a-rod in that regard) if the total breakdown of that image will affect his game. not to mention golf being a sport that requires total silence, concentration, and maybe more than others can totally be derailed by even the most infinitesimal case of the yips.

kind of lol but mostly sad

eh, sportswriters and their hyperbole, whaddaya gonna do

xpost

omar, that's the big question for me too. can't wait for the first "giggity giggity" hollers from behind the ropes

lot of dudes in the crowd gonna start wearing blonde wings to throw him off game

lol if you think the fratboys/rich doctors who also cheat on their wives that comprise golf tournament crowds are gonna turn on him you're nuts

xp

http://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpg

Between those epic dunks on Wade and Woods

lol if you think the fratboys/rich doctors who also cheat on their wives that comprise golf tournament crowds are gonna turn on him you're nuts

lol if you think those fratboy types who scream YOU DA MAN!!! and GET IN THE HOLE!!!!! are going to restrain themselves after a few beers from the courtesy tents you're nuts

seriously

"success is the best deodorant"

Someone I know was pretty otm when he said that this is like Marv Albert, he'll be sent away for a while and then when everybody forgets what he did, or is just sick of talking/joking about it, he'll be inserted back in the spotlight like it never happened. How long was Marv gone, anyway?

From Marv's wikipedia page:

After DNA tests proved that the bite marks were his, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and battery charges, while the sodomy charge was dropped.[7][8] Albert was given a 12-month suspended sentence and ordered to only announce play-by-play for the Los Angeles Clippers.

Oh, wikipedia!