Tiger Woods car/life crash

Yeah but when you're valued at $1 billion or whatever did you ever NEED to say a word about money?

List above omits this piece of info from Fox:

7.) Holly Sampson. The 36-year-old former porn star, who has starred in such films as "OMG, Stop Tickling Me..."

He's always seemed like a dick only interested in money, but seriously good luck from here on out bro.

i have a feeling his luck with money is still going to be about 89482x better than mine, so sucks to be him seriously this is a crisis

"He's always seemed like a dick only interested in money...."

No, I echo the guy above. He wants to beat Nicklaus' record. That's all he cares about. The cash and the chicks are just gravy. He doesnt even give a shit about the Ryder Cup.

Yeah, I can imagine bigger crises than having a lot of girlfriends. I mean, is there some booty ban at golf tournaments? If he gets divorced, it'll be just like any/every other celebrity divorce: he'll look stupid, lose a lot of money, then take a refreshing swim in the pool he keeps filled with gold krugerrands (Billy Joel has one too, I hear). Then he'll play a lot more golf and continue to win a lot.

and he can legitimately be a playah in the open (as well as being a player in the Open) rather than having to maintain any of this troublesome clean cut image

as has already been stated, he's gonna bring golf to another level again because of this. single playa tiger beefin the swedes in '10

maybe, but it's hard to be the face of Accenture when you're a punchline

single playa tiger beefin the swedes in '10

EA Sports have gone downhill...

I'd assumed that being Mr Corporate Billion-Dollar-Man and World's Greatest Sportsman was a full-full-time pursuit - it's quite annoying to find out he had all this spare time too.

Yeah, but some people play golf in their spare time.

Did you hear about the survey of 1,000 blondes who were asked if they would sleep with Tiger Woods? 85% said 'never again'.

The stupidest thing you will ever read. (Warning: Bill Plaschke content.)

Sorry Ned, that doesn't even come close, and I usually have zero tolerance for Plaschke.

Not even this?

It has continued throughout the year into December, a month that has devolved into a national search for the one woman who has not claimed to have had sex with Tiger Woods.

Surely she's out there somewhere, feeling embarrassed and alone.

i wonder, considering how concerned tiger wood has always seemed to be about his image (kinda reminds me of a-rod in that regard) if the total breakdown of that image will affect his game. not to mention golf being a sport that requires total silence, concentration, and maybe more than others can totally be derailed by even the most infinitesimal case of the yips.

kind of lol but mostly sad

eh, sportswriters and their hyperbole, whaddaya gonna do

xpost

omar, that's the big question for me too. can't wait for the first "giggity giggity" hollers from behind the ropes

lot of dudes in the crowd gonna start wearing blonde wings to throw him off game

lol if you think the fratboys/rich doctors who also cheat on their wives that comprise golf tournament crowds are gonna turn on him you're nuts

xp

http://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpg

Between those epic dunks on Wade and Woods

lol if you think the fratboys/rich doctors who also cheat on their wives that comprise golf tournament crowds are gonna turn on him you're nuts

lol if you think those fratboy types who scream YOU DA MAN!!! and GET IN THE HOLE!!!!! are going to restrain themselves after a few beers from the courtesy tents you're nuts

seriously

"success is the best deodorant"

Someone I know was pretty otm when he said that this is like Marv Albert, he'll be sent away for a while and then when everybody forgets what he did, or is just sick of talking/joking about it, he'll be inserted back in the spotlight like it never happened. How long was Marv gone, anyway?

From Marv's wikipedia page:

After DNA tests proved that the bite marks were his, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and battery charges, while the sodomy charge was dropped.[7][8] Albert was given a 12-month suspended sentence and ordered to only announce play-by-play for the Los Angeles Clippers.

Oh, wikipedia!

Pretty sure that many, many dudes will like him WAY MORE because of these "transgressions".

this isn't like marv albert because marv albert is a popular announcer about whom no one really cares too deeply about, they just think he calls a good b-ball game. tiger woods is the world's most popular athlete, probably, and has built this rep on being this clean-living family-friendly incredibly successful dude who has a solid home life (with someone who happens to be a swedish model.) there were some gray areas w/marv, too, at least in terms of how it all went down in the end. this is like 11 (and counting) women coming out of the woodwork, and it can't even be passed off like "oh i made a horrible mistake this one time" like kobe's incident, because tiger was apparently being uber-cautious and very sly.

I'm just waiting to see which one of the girls from Jersey Shore he has had an affair with.

pretty clear here tiger is not doing well - poppin pills n smashin nast ass porn ladies has got to speak to some sort of icky malaise

ive always been of two mind abt him - hes got some off putting triumphalist tendencies (fist pumps, corporate opaqueness) - and some that hint at depth behind the tiger glaze (thoughtful demeanor, intelligence)

so i dunno i hope he ends up in a better place than where all of this started

i think that would mean dude would have to rejoin society and stop traveling from isolated bubble to isolated bubble but i really don't see that happening

Another thing is that his dad died recently, and his on-course demeanor has been subject of a lot of "that's not sportsmanlike!" articles in the last year or so.

eh obvs its a completely insane life but people have made stranger situations work

i'm not sure if that extreme level of fame will leave you a normal decent person in the end. it seems like over time someone exposed to that is going to kinda lose their mind and those who don't seem to be like that, able to kinda maintain their composure and decency in the face of being able to do anything they want and probably get away with it, are exceptions. i'm trying to think of someone who has been at that level and seems relatively normal (clooney?)

but are any of us relatively normal...

xxxpost -- yeah, people are getting less tolerant of his foul mouth. New PGA Tour drinking game: drain your glass everytime Dan Hicks, Jim Nantz et al say "we'd like to apologize to our viewers for what you heard just before we went to commercial..."

i mean if all i did was shuttle between my gated community, my private jet, my hotel suite, my closed off area of a restaurant, and whatever golf course i was playing i'd prob do some fucked up stuff out of sheer boredom

^^^^^^

otm x10000

yeah obvs hes got to have something thats not that - some guys stay grounded by family/religion - seems like becoming super involved in helping people could pop the bubble

gear otm it's just a matter of time 'til the police dogs find the bodies

also: big difference between "this makes him more AWESOME LOL" and "this makes him a more effective global corporate representative"

I mean...

http://www.bozell.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/tiger-wood-accenture-ad1.gif

100% unretouched this stuff just writes itself.

i think tiger's best bet is to embrace his newfound villainy a la hulk hogan.

but his entire success has been made and marketed upon his supposed likability and decency, so i think he's kinda toast and the pga is gonna turn to mickelson or someone similar to be their new posterboy from this point forward.

ive always been of two mind abt him - hes got some off putting triumphalist tendencies (fist pumps, corporate opaqueness) - and some that hint at depth behind the tiger glaze (thoughtful demeanor, intelligence)

it's the thoughtfulness and intelligence that take the biggest hit here, at least imo. he was always a corporate whore, but seemed like a sort of smart, possibly interesting corporate whore. when you read his text messages or hear the voice mails or whatever, he seems like Sleazy McDimbulb.

i'm trying to think of someone who has been at that level and seems relatively normal (clooney?)

i don't know about "normal," but clooney's at least candid about the reasons he likes his privacy and would never, say, run for political office. in that new yorker profile the other year he said something like, there's been too many girls and too many drugs.

letterman zinging him last night was a little O RLY

but, y'know... get choppin'

http://rawstylus.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/tiger.jpg

i think tiger's best bet is to embrace his newfound villainy a la hulk hogan.

― omar little, Wednesday, December 9, 2009 1:35 PM

I'd love to see him morph into an evil emo version of himself a la Tobey Maguire in Spiderman 3.