Yeah, I can imagine bigger crises than having a lot of girlfriends. I mean, is there some booty ban at golf tournaments? If he gets divorced, it'll be just like any/every other celebrity divorce: he'll look stupid, lose a lot of money, then take a refreshing swim in the pool he keeps filled with gold krugerrands (Billy Joel has one too, I hear). Then he'll play a lot more golf and continue to win a lot.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 15:38 (fourteen years ago) link
and he can legitimately be a playah in the open (as well as being a player in the Open) rather than having to maintain any of this troublesome clean cut image
― I sb'ed your mum (ken c), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 15:43 (fourteen years ago) link
as has already been stated, he's gonna bring golf to another level again because of this. single playa tiger beefin the swedes in '10
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 15:52 (fourteen years ago) link
maybe, but it's hard to be the face of Accenture when you're a punchline
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 15:55 (fourteen years ago) link
single playa tiger beefin the swedes in '10
EA Sports have gone downhill...
― I sb'ed your mum (ken c), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 15:57 (fourteen years ago) link
I'd assumed that being Mr Corporate Billion-Dollar-Man and World's Greatest Sportsman was a full-full-time pursuit - it's quite annoying to find out he had all this spare time too.
― Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 15:59 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah, but some people play golf in their spare time.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 16:02 (fourteen years ago) link
Did you hear about the survey of 1,000 blondes who were asked if they would sleep with Tiger Woods? 85% said 'never again'.
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:15 (fourteen years ago) link
The stupidest thing you will ever read. (Warning: Bill Plaschke content.)
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:27 (fourteen years ago) link
Sorry Ned, that doesn't even come close, and I usually have zero tolerance for Plaschke.
― WmC, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:36 (fourteen years ago) link
Not even this?
It has continued throughout the year into December, a month that has devolved into a national search for the one woman who has not claimed to have had sex with Tiger Woods.Surely she's out there somewhere, feeling embarrassed and alone.
Surely she's out there somewhere, feeling embarrassed and alone.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:38 (fourteen years ago) link
i wonder, considering how concerned tiger wood has always seemed to be about his image (kinda reminds me of a-rod in that regard) if the total breakdown of that image will affect his game. not to mention golf being a sport that requires total silence, concentration, and maybe more than others can totally be derailed by even the most infinitesimal case of the yips.
― omar little, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:40 (fourteen years ago) link
kind of lol but mostly sad
eh, sportswriters and their hyperbole, whaddaya gonna do
xpost
― WmC, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:40 (fourteen years ago) link
omar, that's the big question for me too. can't wait for the first "giggity giggity" hollers from behind the ropes
― WmC, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:41 (fourteen years ago) link
lot of dudes in the crowd gonna start wearing blonde wings to throw him off game
― it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:43 (fourteen years ago) link
lol if you think the fratboys/rich doctors who also cheat on their wives that comprise golf tournament crowds are gonna turn on him you're nuts
xp
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:45 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpghttp://www.latimes.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2008-12/260175-19091427.jpg
― too shart (am0n), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:47 (fourteen years ago) link
Between those epic dunks on Wade and Woods
― too shart (am0n), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:49 (fourteen years ago) link
lol if you think those fratboy types who scream YOU DA MAN!!! and GET IN THE HOLE!!!!! are going to restrain themselves after a few beers from the courtesy tents you're nuts
― WmC, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:50 (fourteen years ago) link
seriously
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:51 (fourteen years ago) link
"success is the best deodorant"
― ~~dark energy~~ (Steve Shasta), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Someone I know was pretty otm when he said that this is like Marv Albert, he'll be sent away for a while and then when everybody forgets what he did, or is just sick of talking/joking about it, he'll be inserted back in the spotlight like it never happened. How long was Marv gone, anyway?
― Cunga, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:55 (fourteen years ago) link
From Marv's wikipedia page:
After DNA tests proved that the bite marks were his, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and battery charges, while the sodomy charge was dropped.[7][8] Albert was given a 12-month suspended sentence and ordered to only announce play-by-play for the Los Angeles Clippers.
Oh, wikipedia!
― Cunga, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 18:57 (fourteen years ago) link
Pretty sure that many, many dudes will like him WAY MORE because of these "transgressions".
― real bears playing hockey (polyphonic), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:02 (fourteen years ago) link
this isn't like marv albert because marv albert is a popular announcer about whom no one really cares too deeply about, they just think he calls a good b-ball game. tiger woods is the world's most popular athlete, probably, and has built this rep on being this clean-living family-friendly incredibly successful dude who has a solid home life (with someone who happens to be a swedish model.) there were some gray areas w/marv, too, at least in terms of how it all went down in the end. this is like 11 (and counting) women coming out of the woodwork, and it can't even be passed off like "oh i made a horrible mistake this one time" like kobe's incident, because tiger was apparently being uber-cautious and very sly.
― omar little, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:03 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm just waiting to see which one of the girls from Jersey Shore he has had an affair with.
― ô_o (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:05 (fourteen years ago) link
pretty clear here tiger is not doing well - poppin pills n smashin nast ass porn ladies has got to speak to some sort of icky malaise
ive always been of two mind abt him - hes got some off putting triumphalist tendencies (fist pumps, corporate opaqueness) - and some that hint at depth behind the tiger glaze (thoughtful demeanor, intelligence)
so i dunno i hope he ends up in a better place than where all of this started
― ice cr?m, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:10 (fourteen years ago) link
i think that would mean dude would have to rejoin society and stop traveling from isolated bubble to isolated bubble but i really don't see that happening
― call all destroyer, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:14 (fourteen years ago) link
Another thing is that his dad died recently, and his on-course demeanor has been subject of a lot of "that's not sportsmanlike!" articles in the last year or so.
― real bears playing hockey (polyphonic), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:14 (fourteen years ago) link
eh obvs its a completely insane life but people have made stranger situations work
― ice cr?m, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:15 (fourteen years ago) link
i'm not sure if that extreme level of fame will leave you a normal decent person in the end. it seems like over time someone exposed to that is going to kinda lose their mind and those who don't seem to be like that, able to kinda maintain their composure and decency in the face of being able to do anything they want and probably get away with it, are exceptions. i'm trying to think of someone who has been at that level and seems relatively normal (clooney?)
― omar little, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:18 (fourteen years ago) link
but are any of us relatively normal...
― Adrian Langston became a fan of boners and Cervical Cancer. (ice cr?m), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:19 (fourteen years ago) link
xxxpost -- yeah, people are getting less tolerant of his foul mouth. New PGA Tour drinking game: drain your glass everytime Dan Hicks, Jim Nantz et al say "we'd like to apologize to our viewers for what you heard just before we went to commercial..."
― WmC, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:19 (fourteen years ago) link
i mean if all i did was shuttle between my gated community, my private jet, my hotel suite, my closed off area of a restaurant, and whatever golf course i was playing i'd prob do some fucked up stuff out of sheer boredom
― call all destroyer, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:22 (fourteen years ago) link
^^^^^^
otm x10000
― WmC, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:23 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah obvs hes got to have something thats not that - some guys stay grounded by family/religion - seems like becoming super involved in helping people could pop the bubble
― Adrian Langston became a fan of boners and Cervical Cancer. (ice cr?m), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:27 (fourteen years ago) link
gear otm it's just a matter of time 'til the police dogs find the bodies
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:31 (fourteen years ago) link
also: big difference between "this makes him more AWESOME LOL" and "this makes him a more effective global corporate representative"
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link
I mean...
http://www.bozell.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/tiger-wood-accenture-ad1.gif
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:33 (fourteen years ago) link
100% unretouched this stuff just writes itself.
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:34 (fourteen years ago) link
i think tiger's best bet is to embrace his newfound villainy a la hulk hogan.
― omar little, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:35 (fourteen years ago) link
but his entire success has been made and marketed upon his supposed likability and decency, so i think he's kinda toast and the pga is gonna turn to mickelson or someone similar to be their new posterboy from this point forward.
― omar little, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:36 (fourteen years ago) link
it's the thoughtfulness and intelligence that take the biggest hit here, at least imo. he was always a corporate whore, but seemed like a sort of smart, possibly interesting corporate whore. when you read his text messages or hear the voice mails or whatever, he seems like Sleazy McDimbulb.
i'm trying to think of someone who has been at that level and seems relatively normal (clooney?)
i don't know about "normal," but clooney's at least candid about the reasons he likes his privacy and would never, say, run for political office. in that new yorker profile the other year he said something like, there's been too many girls and too many drugs.
― hellzapoppa (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:37 (fourteen years ago) link
letterman zinging him last night was a little O RLY
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:38 (fourteen years ago) link
but, y'know... get choppin'
http://rawstylus.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/tiger.jpg
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link
― omar little, Wednesday, December 9, 2009 1:35 PM
I'd love to see him morph into an evil emo version of himself a la Tobey Maguire in Spiderman 3.
― Moodles, Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link
high performers are as adept at recovering from setbacks as they are at... oh... oh... oops.
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link
― hellzapoppa (tipsy mothra)
clooney wouldn't run for office because he's a closet -case according to several rumours i've heard.
― Pedro Paramore (jim), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:42 (fourteen years ago) link
At a time when it's tougher than ever to be a Tiger, it's even more crucial to know what it takes. Talk to us to see how we can help.
>accenture
LMAO
― Adrian Langston became a fan of boners and Cervical Cancer. (ice cr?m), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:42 (fourteen years ago) link
who's gong to be first to chop the top of a blonde head into that first one. sadly, i'm at work now.
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 19:43 (fourteen years ago) link