Tiger Woods car/life crash

pretty clear here tiger is not doing well - poppin pills n smashin nast ass porn ladies has got to speak to some sort of icky malaise

ive always been of two mind abt him - hes got some off putting triumphalist tendencies (fist pumps, corporate opaqueness) - and some that hint at depth behind the tiger glaze (thoughtful demeanor, intelligence)

so i dunno i hope he ends up in a better place than where all of this started

i think that would mean dude would have to rejoin society and stop traveling from isolated bubble to isolated bubble but i really don't see that happening

Another thing is that his dad died recently, and his on-course demeanor has been subject of a lot of "that's not sportsmanlike!" articles in the last year or so.

eh obvs its a completely insane life but people have made stranger situations work

i'm not sure if that extreme level of fame will leave you a normal decent person in the end. it seems like over time someone exposed to that is going to kinda lose their mind and those who don't seem to be like that, able to kinda maintain their composure and decency in the face of being able to do anything they want and probably get away with it, are exceptions. i'm trying to think of someone who has been at that level and seems relatively normal (clooney?)

but are any of us relatively normal...

xxxpost -- yeah, people are getting less tolerant of his foul mouth. New PGA Tour drinking game: drain your glass everytime Dan Hicks, Jim Nantz et al say "we'd like to apologize to our viewers for what you heard just before we went to commercial..."

i mean if all i did was shuttle between my gated community, my private jet, my hotel suite, my closed off area of a restaurant, and whatever golf course i was playing i'd prob do some fucked up stuff out of sheer boredom

^^^^^^

otm x10000

yeah obvs hes got to have something thats not that - some guys stay grounded by family/religion - seems like becoming super involved in helping people could pop the bubble

gear otm it's just a matter of time 'til the police dogs find the bodies

also: big difference between "this makes him more AWESOME LOL" and "this makes him a more effective global corporate representative"

I mean...

http://www.bozell.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/tiger-wood-accenture-ad1.gif

100% unretouched this stuff just writes itself.

i think tiger's best bet is to embrace his newfound villainy a la hulk hogan.

but his entire success has been made and marketed upon his supposed likability and decency, so i think he's kinda toast and the pga is gonna turn to mickelson or someone similar to be their new posterboy from this point forward.

ive always been of two mind abt him - hes got some off putting triumphalist tendencies (fist pumps, corporate opaqueness) - and some that hint at depth behind the tiger glaze (thoughtful demeanor, intelligence)

it's the thoughtfulness and intelligence that take the biggest hit here, at least imo. he was always a corporate whore, but seemed like a sort of smart, possibly interesting corporate whore. when you read his text messages or hear the voice mails or whatever, he seems like Sleazy McDimbulb.

i'm trying to think of someone who has been at that level and seems relatively normal (clooney?)

i don't know about "normal," but clooney's at least candid about the reasons he likes his privacy and would never, say, run for political office. in that new yorker profile the other year he said something like, there's been too many girls and too many drugs.

letterman zinging him last night was a little O RLY

but, y'know... get choppin'

http://rawstylus.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/tiger.jpg

i think tiger's best bet is to embrace his newfound villainy a la hulk hogan.

― omar little, Wednesday, December 9, 2009 1:35 PM

I'd love to see him morph into an evil emo version of himself a la Tobey Maguire in Spiderman 3.

high performers are as adept at recovering from setbacks as they are at... oh... oh... oops.

i don't know about "normal," but clooney's at least candid about the reasons he likes his privacy and would never, say, run for political office. in that new yorker profile the other year he said something like, there's been too many girls and too many drugs.

― hellzapoppa (tipsy mothra)

clooney wouldn't run for office because he's a closet
-case according to several rumours i've heard.

At a time when it's tougher than ever to be a Tiger, it's even more crucial to know what it takes. Talk to us to see how we can help.

>
accenture

LMAO

who's gong to be first to chop the top of a blonde head into that first one. sadly, i'm at work now.

and yeah every single word of that copy reads like double-entendre now

so: tiger's got problems

when i see a guy like tiger, he doesn't really seem to be loose or friendly or at ease, he seems to always be performing or playing the character he's built up over the years, which is the character of this driven athlete, loyal family man, moral guy, 100% tabula rasa for everyone. he doesn't act like a real person a lot of the time, a lot of his mannerisms seem a little fake. you can see the strings being pulled.

"but his entire success has been made and marketed upon his supposed likability and decency"

I disagree. Its been about kicking the shit out of everybody else on the PGA Tour with a total assassin's mentality. None of his marketing has been based on any type of cuddly family type shit.

I think that's typical of superfamous people though and especially true of pro athletes, when you consider the amount of endorsement money attached to them - they get into the habit of repeating certain mantras and statements, and acting in ways that reinforce their own image.

get this feeling with roger federer too (to name one person who spouts a whole lotta feel-good bullshit to please his audience and sponsors, but also seems like a relatively decent and normal guy at the same time.). xp

if he wasn't likable (to some) or considered decent, it wouldn't work. i mean obviously his dominance plays into it too.

my dead great-grandmother, a passionate golf fan, HATED black people, and she LOVED tiger woods for being so "polite" and "respectful" or whatever

she would not be pleased with recent revelations of his infidelities--on the other hand she had four husbands so

she sounds like a blast

this is one of those stories where i feel mad that i am even forming an opinion. tiger woods infidelity, please break up.

she was a pioneering female pilot, too

xp

tell me she smoked and/or drank scotch and the picture will be complete

http://codytaylor.org/images/funny/grandma-wasted.jpg

she was a drinker but not as much when i knew her. she sure did love tiger woods though.

xp yikes! friend of yrs, ned?

wkiw

It's amazing what you can find when you GIS "boozing grandma"

Omar: OTM about this being a bit bigger than Marv, now that I think about it for more than five seconds.

The Hulk Hogan remark is funny because earlier today I was thinking about what a damn shame it is that it's only in pro wrestling that you can -- or need to -- fake a serious injury, get caught in public scandal, or have a "loser must retire match" before you take time off work.

Every job should require you to put somebody else over and have yourself be shamefully humiliated or injured before you take four months off for vacation/personality makeover

xpost

For some reason, I find Rick Reilly's latest column more obnoxious than the Plaschke one Ned linked to.

he was on sportscenter with that same shit yesterday. i hate him.

noxious shit

It's one thing to sit back, assess the damage and say "daaaaaamn, fella" and it's another thing entirely to be all metaphorically up in Tiger's face, close enough for him to know what you ate for lunch, poking him in the chest and saying "let me just tell you what you need to do to fix this."

Third, he needs to clean house. If he wants to keep his wife, he has to get a new agent, a new caddie and some new friends. It's hard to believe all this went on without their help or knowledge. How can she see them as anything but enablers?

^^^ugh

http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/8997/tigeraccenturecorrected.jpg

Third, he needs to clean house. If he wants to keep his wife, he has to get a new agent, a new caddie and some new friends. It's hard to believe all this went on without their help or knowledge. How can she see them as anything but enablers?

^^^ugh

But okay but isn't that actually...correct?

i suppose, if you actually perceive her as "my wife who is more important to me than anything" vs. "an employee in good standing of woodsco intl., llp who's having trouble seeing the bigger picture here"

i dunno, i feel like this kind of bro-to-bro cold hard reality type advice that is like, "do this and you can keep her and emerge a better person" after this dude showed he clearly doesn't want to is weird.