Tiger Woods car/life crash

100% unretouched this stuff just writes itself.

i think tiger's best bet is to embrace his newfound villainy a la hulk hogan.

but his entire success has been made and marketed upon his supposed likability and decency, so i think he's kinda toast and the pga is gonna turn to mickelson or someone similar to be their new posterboy from this point forward.

ive always been of two mind abt him - hes got some off putting triumphalist tendencies (fist pumps, corporate opaqueness) - and some that hint at depth behind the tiger glaze (thoughtful demeanor, intelligence)

it's the thoughtfulness and intelligence that take the biggest hit here, at least imo. he was always a corporate whore, but seemed like a sort of smart, possibly interesting corporate whore. when you read his text messages or hear the voice mails or whatever, he seems like Sleazy McDimbulb.

i'm trying to think of someone who has been at that level and seems relatively normal (clooney?)

i don't know about "normal," but clooney's at least candid about the reasons he likes his privacy and would never, say, run for political office. in that new yorker profile the other year he said something like, there's been too many girls and too many drugs.

letterman zinging him last night was a little O RLY

but, y'know... get choppin'

http://rawstylus.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/tiger.jpg

i think tiger's best bet is to embrace his newfound villainy a la hulk hogan.

― omar little, Wednesday, December 9, 2009 1:35 PM

I'd love to see him morph into an evil emo version of himself a la Tobey Maguire in Spiderman 3.

high performers are as adept at recovering from setbacks as they are at... oh... oh... oops.

i don't know about "normal," but clooney's at least candid about the reasons he likes his privacy and would never, say, run for political office. in that new yorker profile the other year he said something like, there's been too many girls and too many drugs.

― hellzapoppa (tipsy mothra)

clooney wouldn't run for office because he's a closet
-case according to several rumours i've heard.

At a time when it's tougher than ever to be a Tiger, it's even more crucial to know what it takes. Talk to us to see how we can help.

>
accenture

LMAO

who's gong to be first to chop the top of a blonde head into that first one. sadly, i'm at work now.

and yeah every single word of that copy reads like double-entendre now

so: tiger's got problems

when i see a guy like tiger, he doesn't really seem to be loose or friendly or at ease, he seems to always be performing or playing the character he's built up over the years, which is the character of this driven athlete, loyal family man, moral guy, 100% tabula rasa for everyone. he doesn't act like a real person a lot of the time, a lot of his mannerisms seem a little fake. you can see the strings being pulled.

"but his entire success has been made and marketed upon his supposed likability and decency"

I disagree. Its been about kicking the shit out of everybody else on the PGA Tour with a total assassin's mentality. None of his marketing has been based on any type of cuddly family type shit.

I think that's typical of superfamous people though and especially true of pro athletes, when you consider the amount of endorsement money attached to them - they get into the habit of repeating certain mantras and statements, and acting in ways that reinforce their own image.

get this feeling with roger federer too (to name one person who spouts a whole lotta feel-good bullshit to please his audience and sponsors, but also seems like a relatively decent and normal guy at the same time.). xp

if he wasn't likable (to some) or considered decent, it wouldn't work. i mean obviously his dominance plays into it too.

my dead great-grandmother, a passionate golf fan, HATED black people, and she LOVED tiger woods for being so "polite" and "respectful" or whatever

she would not be pleased with recent revelations of his infidelities--on the other hand she had four husbands so

she sounds like a blast

this is one of those stories where i feel mad that i am even forming an opinion. tiger woods infidelity, please break up.

she was a pioneering female pilot, too

xp

tell me she smoked and/or drank scotch and the picture will be complete

http://codytaylor.org/images/funny/grandma-wasted.jpg

she was a drinker but not as much when i knew her. she sure did love tiger woods though.

xp yikes! friend of yrs, ned?

wkiw

It's amazing what you can find when you GIS "boozing grandma"

Omar: OTM about this being a bit bigger than Marv, now that I think about it for more than five seconds.

The Hulk Hogan remark is funny because earlier today I was thinking about what a damn shame it is that it's only in pro wrestling that you can -- or need to -- fake a serious injury, get caught in public scandal, or have a "loser must retire match" before you take time off work.

Every job should require you to put somebody else over and have yourself be shamefully humiliated or injured before you take four months off for vacation/personality makeover

xpost

For some reason, I find Rick Reilly's latest column more obnoxious than the Plaschke one Ned linked to.

he was on sportscenter with that same shit yesterday. i hate him.

noxious shit

It's one thing to sit back, assess the damage and say "daaaaaamn, fella" and it's another thing entirely to be all metaphorically up in Tiger's face, close enough for him to know what you ate for lunch, poking him in the chest and saying "let me just tell you what you need to do to fix this."

Third, he needs to clean house. If he wants to keep his wife, he has to get a new agent, a new caddie and some new friends. It's hard to believe all this went on without their help or knowledge. How can she see them as anything but enablers?

^^^ugh

http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/8997/tigeraccenturecorrected.jpg

Third, he needs to clean house. If he wants to keep his wife, he has to get a new agent, a new caddie and some new friends. It's hard to believe all this went on without their help or knowledge. How can she see them as anything but enablers?

^^^ugh

But okay but isn't that actually...correct?

i suppose, if you actually perceive her as "my wife who is more important to me than anything" vs. "an employee in good standing of woodsco intl., llp who's having trouble seeing the bigger picture here"

i dunno, i feel like this kind of bro-to-bro cold hard reality type advice that is like, "do this and you can keep her and emerge a better person" after this dude showed he clearly doesn't want to is weird.

xpost (where "you" = Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods)

This would not be the first time in human history that two people got a divorce.

xxp it's totally naive is what it is

like the advice i would give would be, "dude, look, you don't want her as a wife and you don't care about her and if you did, you wouldn't be doing this kind of shit because it's not just a single drunken fling, it's a pattern and for her sake as well as yours just end it."

like the advice i would give would be, "dude, look, you don't want her as a wife and you don't care about her and if you did, you wouldn't be doing this kind of shit because it's not just a single drunken fling, it's a pattern and for her sake as well as yours just end it."

Yes.

Also, "avoid Jesper Parnevik"

Ach, I'm not following anything about the story except what appears on ILX -- so basically the official T Woods position on this is that if she wants to stay around, she has to understand how things iz? If that's the case, then yeah, I guess, don't bother.

xxp ahh okay, that's sensible.

not the Official Position, but the one his behavior seems to pretty clearly indicate since he hasn't exactly been hiking to Argentina with his soul mate

But okay but isn't that actually...correct?

― WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Wednesday, December 9, 2009 4:53 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

how the hell does the guy's caddie deserve to get fired over this?

The Reilly and Plaschke articles are terrible, even judging them by the standard that these two horrendous sportswriters should be judged. Reilly really thinks that after this guy slept with 13 women that he and his wife should still try to stay together? Its time to move on, take the hit to your checkbook and let her get on with her life.

But okay but isn't that actually...correct?

― WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Wednesday, December 9, 2009 4:53 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

how the hell does the guy's caddie deserve to get fired over this?

― some dude, Wednesday, December 9, 2009 5:09 PM (47 seconds ago)

because tiger woods cheated on his wife, and he didn't tell anyone. now he must lose his job, you see

lol i was reading some esquire thing where his caddie was referred to as the "worst new zealander in history"

Yeah, the caddie's not there to babysit him, he's there to read the downhill left to right putt on the 17th at Augusta on Sunday with his boss up by one. Reilly's a dumbass. Last I checked, Tiger's 33 years old. xx post

hasn't exactly been hiking to Argentina with his soul mate

haha