ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

reprise of last year coming up, then?

ok lol @ those two "smashes" from serena. she just wasn't even trying to put them away.

Seems so. Serena IS sore and not moving well but she's also hitting badly, so, meh.

serena couldn't have given less of a shit about that. sad!

Shame she's due to play Justine so early. Lovely backhands this game.

GRR COMMENTATORS mentioning Silliams' high unforced error rate. "Well, really, they're forced errors because she has a knee injury so she was trying to end the points more quickly, so went for her shots more." = THIS IS STILL AN UNFORCED ERROR.

took a look at the men's draw for indian wells & im kinda pysched. henin looked good as well

charity exo Hit for Haiti on now w/ Henin, Davenport, Graf and Navratilova, dudes - Fed, Sampras, Nadal and Agassi - coming on later. should be fun.

(btw Henin... Dulko?!)

My CPU, fed many results, suggests we should possibly keep an eye on Claudia Giovine of Italy.

If Google translates correctly, it appears she is the cousin of Flava Flav Pennetta btw.

helloo Mario Ancic. got mono, went to law school, got mono again, got hot(ter).

lol @ djokovic. lol @ this tournament so far really!

hope lex watched ag rad beat the girl who beat henin 6-1 6-0

i haven't seen any of this tournament, the results have been hilarious though. clijsters going up 4-0 in the deciding TB vs kleybanova, then losing 7 straight points? sweta losing her opener, then tweeting "fuck the haters" and "only god can jurge [sic] me"? ivanovic losing her opener and falling out of the top 50? li somehow losing to elena fricking baltacha?!

and the sampras/agassi rivalry extending to "who's the biggest douche", too - loved how roger and rafa just stood there looking completely baffled at these two old men acting out.

i guess agassi won the biggest-douche competition, sampras unsurprisingly missing a humour trick by failing to make a roids joke

ha see, I think Sampras won the biggest douche competition (as he did when they were still active pros OH SNAP) by failing to have a sense of humor

yeah when he couldn't think of anything to say or do except aim a serve at andre like some neanderthal, that was so typical. but he could've made a meth/roids joke and didn't! open goal missed.

also loved fed going "PLEASE SAY SOMETHING RAFA"

That was fairly uncomfortable viewing. Agassi doing the roast/variety-show banter and Pete completely not getting it. Sampras probably thought of a drugs joke and figured that would've sent the whole shebang well over the line into unpleasantness. Bit like seeing Joe Bugner or someone have the piss ripped out of them by some club comic in the '70s and getting a mock uppercut in response.

it was sooo awkward. i watched the whole thing and the mood completely changed after that happened.

sveta's twitter is a lol-goldmine btw - love her so much.

and nicole vaidisova has just announced she's retiring. at age 20. to marry Radek "the sex" Stepanek. :/

oh nicole. :/ indeed. also dudes like 35 or smthn?

lex if its around parts of the sharapova/zheng match were really good! other parts were... less so.

nicole :/

though tbh this makes no concrete difference to anything at all really, she may as well have been retired for the past year. and you just know she'll do a comeback in two years, after the divorce, and it'll probably go much the same way as dokic's and lucic's (1% results that hark back to her glory days, 99% first round losses). i really think i'm going to put some £££ on that.

http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/tennis/news/story?id=5001478

^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

I don't dislike Federer at all but this is making me super happy.

boo. I liked the dude a lot once but then i was unfortunate enough to have met him while working at the KL tourney last year and, without getting into details, the guy was basically a douuuccchheee.

Not a surprising result though, he's been slowly climbing back into form and Fed's been shanking forehands all week.

Watching some of that Aga/Nada vs. Fed/Sam joke match right now. Nice to do spmething like this every once in a while

Nadal has a semifinal game today right?

sad to hear baghdatis's genial persona doesn't hold up IRL.

yeah it's nadal/ljubicic and roddick/soderling today.

http://www.tennis.com/spotlight/2010_03_25_sony_ericsson/index.aspx?photo=01

lol at many of these

not that often I have something nice to say about Andy Roddick but I'm liking him today. His comments on Wayne Odesnik, who was caught smuggling HGH into Australia:

Q. Sorry to be a rally killer, but I wanted to hear your comments and thoughts on Wayne Odesnik.
ANDY RODDICK: If he pled guilty, which it looks like he did, there's nothing worse than that. I'm normally the one to give people the benefit of the doubt.
If that's the case, what we read today, that's just plain cheating and they should throw him out of tennis. There's just no room for it. I don't... I was shocked. I was surprised. You know, we don't need stories like that. You know, I know that's the minority. If that's the case, I have zero sympathy.

Q. Your feelings are just as strong even though it was a possession and not a positive test?
ANDY RODDICK: If you have a possession, you know you're not supposed to have it. You're not supposed to be anywhere near it. You're not supposed to know about it. You're not supposed to smuggle it into a country. If you have I mean, if you caught your sons or daughters and they possessed some type of drug, they're guilty of probably using, as well, correct? You know, I don't see the difference. If you have it and it's not enough to you either have it to sell it or you have it to take it. So either way, it's not the play. It's no good.

Q. How well did you know him?
ANDY RODDICK: I know Wayne a little bit. I mean, I wouldn't say we're friends. He used to train in Austin sometimes. You know, I don't think we ever really did much together. But it's just normally when this has happened in tennis it's been someone that is like I don't really know at all. To have it be one of our guys and for us to lose a guy in the top 100, it makes me a little angry, you know. I don't you know, I don't want that stigma attached to our country and to our players, so it really pisses me off.

Q. That's the thing, the average person sees this in the paper tomorrow and they think...
ANDY RODDICK: That's what makes me angry. We have the most in your articles that you will write, I hope that they're at least researched to the point where we have the most stringent drug testing policies in sports. We're up there with the Olympics. We can't take Sudafed because something will come up. We have to be accountable for where we are I have to send in my forms next week to tell people where I'm gonna be for the next month every single day. If my wife and I want to drive for a day trip somewhere, I have to call in and say, We're going here, here, and here and provide an address. So I hope with the articles that they will at least acknowledge that. The ATP and the powers that be in tennis have done every single thing possible, you know, with the exception of assigning a person to follow each person around 24 hours a day and sleep with the person, to mitigate these problems, you know.

Q. So you do not think there is a problem in the sport?
ANDY RODDICK: I don't see how there can be. I mean, unless everybody's packing vials of stuff in their bags and smuggling it into countries, which I don't God, I have a hard time believing that, you know. You know, I think HGH is the one in every sport where I hope they come up with a test and I hope they start just slamming guys. I hope when they do come up with a test for it they don't tell anybody and they just implement it and start picking people off.

Q. There actually is a test, Andy, but it's not used in tennis.
ANDY RODDICK: Well, the sooner the better. I think they should use it everywhere. You know, I just hope that I wouldn't be surprised if there is a test out there that we're gonna be the first to come fly with it. I hope we do. I hope this will move it. There's no room for it. We don't need it. We don't need that stigma. I take a lot of pride in what we have to do on a daily basis and how responsible we have to be for, one lack of a better word for one jackass to ruin it for the rest of us.

http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/tennis/news/story?id=5047894

<3 Cake:

Now 19-1 this year, Venus is bidding for her third consecutive title after winning at Dubai and Acapulco in February. She's dominating while Serena has been sidelined with a left knee injury since winning the Australian Open two months ago.

The knee must be better, judging from the shoes she wore while watching the semifinal from the front row.

"She looked really amazing," Bartoli said. "I said to her, 'It's not fair you're dressing up so nicely. I'm going to watch more what you're wearing than the ball.' ... She had a red dress and some really, really, really high-heel shoes, maybe something like 14 inches.

"I think she can manage to walk pretty well. I think from wearing those kind of shoes, you don't feel that much pain in your knees."

sweta's twitter has become a goldmine of legendarily baffling stuff http://twitter.com/SvetlanaK27

I hAve bold by made by givory!nice one)))
8:15 PM Apr 10th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

All expencive cars I have so many,ppl will thik I m spoiled
6:32 PM Apr 10th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

I m in love with carsssss!i have a big garage!so anyone wants to give me some feel more then welcome!))))
4:33 PM Apr 10th via web

i got stoped for speeding((((( i was racing a litle bit)))) by the way -i won!)))))
8:35 PM Apr 7th via web

Happy Eastern to everyone!
4:12 AM Apr 4th via web

if u see me with a bruce on my forehead a size of my head!who is following me would know from where i got it !heheheh
12:29 AM Mar 21st via web

i want to fly to cosmos ...what do u think???
5:34 AM Mar 14th via web

# i m russian so what>
4:35 AM Mar 14th via web

guys i dont drink just for info!
4:22 AM Mar 14th via web

all u are the best best off all!god is the jurge!
4:21 AM Mar 14th via web

gusy u r geate ll who are not haters! before i didnt understand who was haers but now im~!
4:20 AM Mar 14th via web

only god is our jurge! thia is my tatoo and its true guys,no one can jurge no one so relaxxxxxx
2:06 AM Mar 14th via web

i love all kind of music,from rapers i love snoop,50 and T.I those guys are the best for me!i like rihana as well ,mary J.Blige,ne-yo,pitbul
3:10 AM Mar 8th via mobile web

what on earth does she think parentheses do grammatically?!

i love all kind of music,from rapers

o rly

my favourite tennis player gets her biggest cheer of an astoundingly pathetic final performance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btHZ4S1NS_8

love the court-side sofas!

Hey ILX tennis fans...so I have a decent passing knowledge of the tennis stars of the day, but I'm trying to set up a little kids TV film for Wimbledon this year and given the likelihood that obvious choices don't come through for me, I wondered if any of you had any suggestions about top players that are weird/funny/chatty/interesting in a way that appeals to kids?

Basically if there's two venn diagrams and one is SUCCESSFUL AND TALENTED and the other is FUNNY AND GOOD HUMOURED we'd want someone in the intersection!

Any thoughts?

serena williams, definitely. she pretty much comes across as an overgrown toddler 50% of the time anyway. andy roddick ditto.
novak djokovic was nicknamed the djoker for a reason, though he seems to have toned it down of late.
jelena jankovic does her eurotrash-lady-gaga thing pretty well.
nikolay davydenko and svetlana kuznetsova both come across as super-dour on court but have reputations as being two of the funniest characters around off court.
kim clijsters and caroline wozniacki will both do the i'm-so-nice-my-favourite-hobby-is-visiting-sick-children-in-hospital thing if that's what you're after.
i get the impression gael monfils would be super-fun in a setting like this, also francesca schiavone.
flavia pennetta is terrific fun though this mostly seems to centre around her regaling audiences with tales of shagging atp players in the physio room, locker room, anywhere and everywhere on a tournament site, so maybe not totally child-friendly.
all of those are current top 20 players. dmitry tursunov is ALWAYS good for a laugh though he's fallen out of the top 100, so i'm not sure how available he'd be (he's a former top 20 player though) -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AV99EqADFyE

oh and i'm pretty sure roger & rafa would be tremendously professional, if not funny, but their sheer level of success and legendary status would appeal to any child.

yeah we defo would love someone like roger/rafa but chances of them doing it fairly slim...

either way the plus side of this is I get paid to go to wimbledon for a few days this year! :)

yeah when he couldn't think of anything to say or do except aim a serve at andre like some neanderthal, that was so typical. but he could've made a meth/roids joke and didn't! open goal missed.

― لوووووووووووووووووووول (lex pretend), Tuesday, March 16, 2010 3:02 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark

He should have brought up Streisand IMO.

either way the plus side of this is I get paid to go to wimbledon for a few days this year! :)

jealz! u know where to come if u need a freelancer innit.

laura robson might be a good choice actually, she seems to be quite funny and game for a laugh.

on the mens side lex is right djokovic is the obv choice but monfils is goofy/lol in an appealing way. and roddick is kind of a douche but hes got a good (if sarcastic) sense of humor & can be really funny.

i also think mikhail youzhny is hilarious but im not sure this is a widely shared opinion

I hate him but the kids would like Roddick, doubly so if they've never watched a tennis match amirite?

You know, I'm a Stosur skeptic. But her match against Na Li was downright brilliant. Maybe she deserves to rise up to #9. Barely a mistake in sight. Not sure what Li's claycourt credentials are but I guess those flat strokes are more hard-court weapons.

Henin vs Ivanovic is terrible.

Apparently Stosur's Charleston performance was really, really outstandingly brilliant. idk, who'd have ever thought a couple of years ago that the woman would magically learn how to hit groundstrokes rather than framing them 5 miles out all the time?

Only saw the last few games of Henin vs Jankovic - was impressed by how disciplined and calm JJ is being. Could be her first win over Justine in 10 tries.

SimO_Ona of the formerly-gigantic breasts has reached her first WTA final in Morocco, btw.

(last few games of the first set, that is. my stream seems to have cut out now.)

Shit, that was a typo. No idea how I came to type Jankovic as Ivanovic, the person facing Justine was actually playing like a non-retard!

Well, she still is playing well. Henin isn't serving very well.

That is to say, she's not gtting the first ones in in good spots. But she is actually placing some fine second ones.

laura robson might be a good choice actually, she seems to be quite funny and game for a laugh.

yeah i kinda love her. her latest tweet:

Probably shouldn't have watched the new M.I.A video whilst eating breakfast.

Lex, find another stream! Henin has been hitting some seriously savage angled shots, especially (oddly?) on her forehand, and is intermixing that with flubbing basic mid-court shots. But she's won the second set.

well obviously it was Jankovic who blinked first in the TB. sigh. she will never beat Justine. this is a great match though, high quality and tense. both playing pretty well I think.

randomly, Andrea Petkovic's twitter is really good - like, entertaining and witty in a dry, sarcastic way, not in the point-and-laugh way of Sweta and Silliams.

that said, i wouldn't be remotely surprised if jankovic now lost this set to love. that double fault to give up the opening game? brr.