I woke up out that coma two thousand and one 'Bout the same time Dre dropped "2001" Three years later the album is done Aftermath presents "Nigga Witta Attitude, Volume One" Rap critics politickin, wanna know the outcome "Ready to Die" "Reasonable Doubt" and "Doggystyle" in one I feel like 'Pac after the Snoop Dogg trial was done Dre behind that G series and "All Eyez on Me" I watched the death of a dynasty, so I told Vibe Magazine Workin with Dr. Dre was a (dream) I had visions of makin a classic, then my world turned black like I was starin out of Stevie Wonders glasses It's kinda hard to imagine, like Kanye West comin back from his fatal accident to beatmakin and rappin But, we the future, Whitney Houston told me that And it's gon' take more than a bullet in the heart to hold me back
Russian and this 40 ounce, lettin the ink from my pen bleed Cause Martin Luther King had a (dream) Aaliyah had a (dream) Left Eye had a (dream) So I reached out to Kanye and (I brought you all my dreams) (Cause I love you, I love you, I love you) (I-highhhhhh love you)
I had dreams, of fuckin, a R&B bitch like Mya When I saw that ass on the front of that King Read the article in the magazine, she loved gangsters, loved nasty things So I'm in the glass house havin nasty dreams Good girls never give it up But anything is possible, if 50 fucked Vivica Hurdled life's obstacles, found my way through the maze Then joy turned to pain like Frankie Beverly and Maze Used to dream of bein +Unsigned Hype+, 'til I was crushed by Dave Mays Almost let my pen fall asleep on the page Daydreamin yesterday, dozin off backstage I thought I saw Eazy talkin to Jam Master Jay So I walked over, heard Jam Master say "It's a hard knock life, then you pass away" They say sleep is the cousin of death, so my eyes wide open Cause a dream is kin to your last breath
(chorus)
The dream of Huey Newton that's what I'm livin through The dream of Eric Wright, that's what I'm givin you Who walked through the White House without a business suit Compton had jheri curl drippin on Ronald Reagan's shoes Gave Mike Lem my demo, came here to pay my dues Started off with Whoo Kid, then I start blazin Clue It was all a dream like Big said it'd be Don't sleep on me homey, I bring nightmares to reality Rap phenomenon, defyin the rules of gravity Studied all the classics, start revisin my strategy Cause Marshall Mathers made it, Curtis Jackson made it Head in the clouds, wonderin where the hell Marvin Gaye went How do I say this - I'm livin for my son but I can't figure out, why I'm at my temple with this gun Wake up to a Jesus piece like a catholic nun The war to be a rap legend, has just begun
This song is dedicated to Yetunde Price The sister of Venus and Serena Williams who was slain during a gang shootout in Compton Sunday, September 14th, 2003 - rest in peace
(I brought you all my dreams) (Cause I love you, I love you, I love you) (I-highhhhhh love you)
― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 15 January 2008 10:02 (sixteen years ago) link
* Intended to be humorous, or has no point about government policy
INSERT GORDON BROWN ZING HERE
― Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 15 January 2008 10:02 (sixteen years ago) link
'He may know motoring laws inside out, but Jeremy Clarkson clearly has trouble sticking to them. The loudmouth Top Gear host was snapped doing 70mph along the middle lane of a busy motorway while chattering away on his mobile phone....When the Mirror confronted the grumpy star about his dangerous stunt, he denied being in the car. But shown the photo, he spluttered: "Er, that isn't a phone." He then slammed the door of his Oxfordshire mansion and bellowed: "Look, I write a column for another newspaper...I'm not allowed to talk you" -
― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 12:47 (sixteen years ago) link
"dangerous stunt" surely a typo?
― Neil S, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 12:51 (sixteen years ago) link
Yeah, they meant to write "cunning".
― Three Word Username, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 14:40 (sixteen years ago) link
I can imagine this couple telling tales in the play ground. Even if it was Jeremy it's no big deal and they should respect his privacy, instead of behaving like children.
- David, France
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=530330&in_page_id=1770&in_page_id=1770&expand=true#StartComments
― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:17 (sixteen years ago) link
Smart people can do multiple tasks at the same time. Idiots cannot.
- Doug Gibson, Benvie, Scotland
― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:20 (sixteen years ago) link
WELL THAT'S ALRIGHT THEN
― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:21 (sixteen years ago) link
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/ClarksonPhones_468x298.jpg Not ony is most definitely a phone but I'm shocked that he actually appears to wear those awful jackets irl.
― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:48 (sixteen years ago) link
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/ClarksonPhones_468x298.jpg
Nice car though.
Also isn't that steering wheel on the wrong side. Bloody foreigner!
― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:49 (sixteen years ago) link
And he's driving on the right too!
― Neil S, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:50 (sixteen years ago) link
Is that a P5 rover he's driving?
― Pashmina, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:53 (sixteen years ago) link
6.3 litre Mercedes.
That's one mf of a merc.
I love the comments trying to attack the photographer for driving and taking photos while at the same time trying to defend Clarkson for being on the phone.
― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:54 (sixteen years ago) link
Is it one of these? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_300SEL_6.3
― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:55 (sixteen years ago) link
Or one of these! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_600
― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 15:57 (sixteen years ago) link
The second one. He wrote about a lot here: http://driving.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/driving/jeremy_clarkson/article3171178.ece
His defence should be "read that column, it clearly can't be my Merc".
― Bocken Social Scene, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 16:10 (sixteen years ago) link
wait wait, 70mph?? i drive that on my commute every day, so what. is there something about 'motorway' that i'm missing here?
― gff, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 16:13 (sixteen years ago) link
The whole 'illegal to drive and use a phone' thing. Most broken law in the country?
― Bocken Social Scene, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 16:24 (sixteen years ago) link
"For years he has railed against the nanny-state but yesterday it looks as though Jeremy Clarkson was caught flouting the very same draconian motoring laws he so detests."
this makes no sense, there is no irony in nany-state-hater clarkson breaking laws, shurely?
― stevie, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 16:41 (sixteen years ago) link
ha ha ha
― blueski, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 16:42 (sixteen years ago) link
"so it seems that the cat burglar has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him"
!!!
― the pinefox, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 16:44 (sixteen years ago) link
exactly steve!
― stevie, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 16:52 (sixteen years ago) link
From the Daily Mirror's article:
(http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/topstories/2008/03/11/jeremy-clarkson-caught-doing-70mph-on-the-m40-while-talking-on-his-mobile-phone-89520-20347501/)
The 6.3l Mercedes 600 was the chosen car of brutal dictator Idi Amin, China's Chairman Mao, Yugoslavia's Tito, Leonid Brezhnev in the USSR and Romania's Nicolae Ceausescu
I wish my phone could take such clear and focussed pictures at 70mph.
― ailsa, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link
Those trees must be doing 70mph as well.
― snoball, Tuesday, 11 March 2008 21:39 (sixteen years ago) link
Clarkson is history's greatest monster!
― Neil S, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 10:13 (sixteen years ago) link
The background in that photo looks very similar to the scenery found in the car park of a motorway service area!
what a jerk, yes trees and hills only ever exist in motorway service areas.
if it's as sunny as it looks the camera might have had a fast shutter speed setting (do any mobile phones have this ability?), so the trees wouldn't be blurred. also they are quite far away, over on the other side of the road (you can see the central res barrier), this would slow down the parallax scrolling of the trees somewhat.
i doubt it's enough to get him prosecuted though.
― Ste, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 10:31 (sixteen years ago) link
To quote Cassetteboy's Jeremy Clarkson's cut-up:
"Adolf Clarkson...created by the Luftwaffe...I've got Hitler's email...I love Robert Kilroy-Silk...and I really like the sound of this guy...Robert Mugabe...Mugabe...also...I love...Jeremy Clarkson."
― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 10:43 (sixteen years ago) link
a propos of not much at all:
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e184/CreepyMike/clarkson2.gif
― StanM, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 10:49 (sixteen years ago) link
I went for a corporate dinner at Madame Tussaud's recently, which was weird enough in itself, but the dining room featured a rogue's gallery of Idi Amin, Robert Mugabe, General Qaddafi, Stalin, Saddam Hussein... and Richard Branson. I'm no fan of the bearded one, but I would hardly class him as a figure of world-historical evildoing.
― Neil S, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 10:52 (sixteen years ago) link
i would. i've SEEN that episode of Friends.
― blueski, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 12:05 (sixteen years ago) link
Fair point!
― Neil S, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 12:08 (sixteen years ago) link
So, hey, had anyone else noticed that Jeremy Clarkson is in the video for #1 chart smash "Mr Blobby" by Mr Blobby?
― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Thursday, 17 July 2008 12:29 (fifteen years ago) link
lol eponymous hero
― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 17 July 2008 12:39 (fifteen years ago) link
only 188 complaints so far for Clarkson's "This is a hard job, and I'm not just saying that to win favour with lorry drivers - it's a hard job. Change gear, change gear, change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder." surely it can't just be because he is employed by a tabloid newspaper?
― Cittaslow Mazza (blueski), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 00:11 (fifteen years ago) link
viz done it better.
― Don't juggle with the words, let's know about our sexuality flash boy (ledge), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 00:22 (fifteen years ago) link
I went on a lorry driver training course recently. The instructor started showing me the basics.
"You start off like this," he said, "clutch throttle throttle clutch throttle choke throttle."
"Right, got it," I said.
"Good," he said. "Now wrap her in a carpet and dump her in a layby."
― Don't juggle with the words, let's know about our sexuality flash boy (ledge), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 00:27 (fifteen years ago) link
^^^exactly the post i was going to make
xp
― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 00:31 (fifteen years ago) link
Still, 0 complaints for top tips on beating up women from Richard Hammond.
― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 08:02 (fifteen years ago) link
OK, it's been raised on the TV now, so expect 1,000 complaints by 14:00 today...
― Mark G, Tuesday, 4 November 2008 08:08 (fifteen years ago) link
200 complaints on GMTV when I left the house this morning.
Vested interests in destroying the BBC?
Oh no, it's "common decency."
A.K.A. A Good Story.
― Do they mean us? They surely do! It's Ray Conniff! (Marcello Carlin), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 08:28 (fifteen years ago) link
Saw this reported as "Jeremy Clarkson makes joke about murdering prostitutes" when it's actually a "joke" about lorry drivers, of course
― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 10:55 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article1888710.ece
― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 10:57 (fifteen years ago) link
Lorry drivers cool with jokes about murdering prostitutes shocker.
― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 10:58 (fifteen years ago) link
See? The lorry drivers come out to defend one of their own.
What did you dandy fops do to support our RusseLl?
― Mark G, Tuesday, 4 November 2008 10:59 (fifteen years ago) link
COLIN ROBERTSONDeputy TV EditorANOTHER day — another edgy comment on the BBC.
But there’s a difference. Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross’ prank on Andrew Sachs was outrageous as he did not deserve it.
Yet Clarkson’s remarks can easily be filed in the drawer marked “joke”.
Some don’t get it. But if stars start avoiding edgy gags to please them, that really would be a joke.
― Cittaslow Mazza (blueski), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 10:59 (fifteen years ago) link
News International newspaper defends News International newspaper columnist, News at Ten...
― The answer is NOT Volkswagen (Marcello Carlin), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 11:03 (fifteen years ago) link
Nobody is gunna vote Russell Brand as PM, that's why.
― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 11:09 (fifteen years ago) link
so much hypocrisy in all this, i think my head's gonna explode
― MacElby's Puddin'© (stevie), Tuesday, 4 November 2008 11:26 (fifteen years ago) link