A thread for Phil Hartman

Very nice. Now is this where I point out the 'crezappy' bit was already quoted near the top of the thread?

I don't think that anyone did this.

-- Allyzay knows a little German (allyza...), September 8th, 2005. (later)

I mean, I agree it's wonderful to quote again and again and all. ;-)

Dave quit coffee, Bill quit smoking. To wit:

Dave: Hey I have an idea. I'll give up coffee, if you give up cigarettes. Huh? We'll go through this together.
Bill: But you should have to give up something of equal difficulty. Like going to the bathroom.

Anyway, kenan, the best line of that isn't in your quote. The best line of it is the part where Dave admits to drinking 2-3 POTS of coffee per day and Bill is like, "That's just...SICK."

Also the episode where he gives himself a heart attack wearing the Patch "like a belt" around his waist and they revive him with Foghat.

Say more.

One of his wives remarked that he "wasn't all there" emotionally, but what comedian/actor/entertainment guy isn't.

I liked his "Max Jerome - Private Eye!" character from the 1-800-COLLECT commercials

I think you're conflating Bill eating the patch and Jimmy James in the coma.

He didn't EAT it! My God, do I have to LOAN you all the DVDs?

Anyway... yeah... Phil Hartman... great.

"Are you challenging my constitutional right to make nude phone calls?"

Johnny O'Connor: Hello, Harry, how's tricks?

Harry: not bad for an old dog! [ both men laugh ] Have a seat. [ Johnny sits ] How's the film going?

Johnny O'Connor: Well, I just shot the last scene. [ re-enacts that last scene for Harry ] There I was in the cockpit, surrounded by zeroes, enemy aircraft carrier in my sight! My machine guns were empty! I had one bullet left! [ screams ] Aaaagggghhhhhhh!!!!

Harry: [ jumps up ] Alright, snap out of it!

Johnny O'Connor: You snap out of it!

Harry: You snap out of it! [ slaps Jonnhy's face ]

Johnny O'Connor: Sorry, Harry. I think I got a little lost in this role.

Harry: Yeah, I guess you did.

Johnny O'Connor: Anyway, I'm sure "Yankee Kamikazee" is going to be a real winner.

Harry: Well, I hope you're right..

Johnny O'Connor: [ reflecting ] Maybe I've made too many of these war movies. Maybe I should take a rest, huh, Harry?

Harry: Well, I'm glad you brought that up, Johnny.. I was thinking you should take a rest, too. A permanent one.

Johnny O'Connor: [ confused ] What do you mean?

Harry: I'm letting you go.

Johnny O'Connor: You mean..?

Harry: Yes. Your contract isn't being renewed.

Johnny O'Connor: But, Harry, I..

Harry: You're finished, Johnny!

Johnny O'Connor: Don't mince words!

Harry: I think you stink!

Johnny O'Connor: Listen, Harry, if you're unhappy with my work, tell me now!

Harry: You're through, do you hear me, through! You'll never work in this town again!

Johnny O'Connor:Don't leave me hanging by a thread! Let me know how I stand!

Harry: I think you're the worst actor I've ever seen, and I get five hundred letters a day telling me the same!

Johnny O'Connor: What's the word on the street?

Harry: [ angry ] Now, you listen to me, Johnny O'Connor: you've been flying in that airplane too long, and it's time you were grounded!

Johnny O'Connor: Nobody shoots down Johnny O'Connor.. You're forgetting something, Harry! I'm a hero! I've made twelve war movies for you, Harry, and they've all made gold! I've knocked more Mitsubishis out of the sky than any man alive!

Harry: Look, Johnny.. Johnny, you're forgetting something: the Japanese are our allies now. The war is over, Johnny. So are you.

Johnny O'Connor: [ persistent ] Is it the booze, Harry? The dames? I'll cut back!

Harry: No, no, Johnny..

Johnny O'Connor: Is it the pills?

Harry: No.

Johnny O'Connor: The sheep?

Harry: No.

Johnny O'Connor: The ducks?

Harry: No.

Johnny O'Connor: Your wife?

Harry: No, not.. what?!

Johnny O'Connor: What?!

Harry: What?! Oh! Get off!

Johnny O'Connor: [ near tears ] I'm sorry if I let you down, Harry. You've always been like a father to me..

Harry: [ reconsidering ] Oh, Johnny.. Johnny.. Alright. I'm going to give you one more chance..

Johnny O'Connor: [ excited ] Do you mean it, Harry?

Harry: Yes, I'm afraid I do.. Now, listen - I'm doing a new picture: "Reptilla". A lizard gets mutated by an atomic blast, see? It swells up, twenty stories high! And there's a fire-breathing tango all over Tokyo!

Johnny O'Connor: [ thinking ] Yeah.. yeah.. I think I can play a giant reptile..

Harry: Don't be ridiculous! Reptilla will be played by a man in a rubber suit.

Johnny O'Connor: Oh.. I don't want my face covered.

Harry: Of course not. Now, the part I have in mind for you is this one.. [ flips through script ] You're Man #3.

Johnny O'Connor: Man #3.

Harry: You're on an elevated train. You slip off, and get squished by Reptilla's toe. Here, read this line.

Johnny O'Connor: [ looks at the line and recites it dramatically ] Aaaagggghhhhhh!!

Harry: Good! You can start packing, we sail a week from Tuesday.

Johnny O'Connor: Thanks, Harry, you won't regret it! [ walks away from Harry ]

Harry: Hey, don't forget your script!

Johnny O'Connor: [ returns, grabs script ] Yes! Science fiction! The wave of the future!

. . .

I'll tell you what you better understand. Next time Old Glory rides up that pole, you'd better sing that anthem, darling.

It's not my flag, I'm Irish.

Oh yeah? Well then stay off of this stuff. That's the curse of you people.

Seriously, fuck Andy Dick: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U27SzxD1Xyo

Ten years ago next week :-(

:(

Damn, I had thought it was coming up soon.

I think it's eleven.

It is eleven, he died in 1998.

Sorry!

No big deal, I just thought I remembered reading a "10 years on" type of article last year.

I just remember 1998 a little too well.

watched a truckload of Newsradio on Hulu the last couple of weeks

brief mention upthread of his side career --

http://valgalart.blogspot.com/2006/05/art-of-phil-hartman.html

http://images.uulyrics.com/cover/p/poco/album-cantamos.jpg
http://cdinfo.s201.xrea.com/media/1/America_GreatestHits.jpg
http://jasonhare.com/wp-content/uploads/Image/jhcontent/silver-cvr.jpg
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000I2TZ.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Little snippet of the clueless 40s actor at the end of his SNL audition...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X2hqdOMxyM

"I can do any dialect. Go ahead, call out a dialect."

"French!"

"I don't do that."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLyJ4QMj-5M

From the Shales/Miller book:

"Jon Lovitz:

"I'll tell you a story about Phil. You know, we do that sketch Jim Downey wrote, 'Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein.' So they did it once where it was like a talk show and Nora Dunn was doing the 'Pat Stevens Show' with Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein. And Phil is Frankenstein and all of a sudden he starts laughing, right, like he just completely broke up -- ha ha, you know, he laughed out loud. And then he stopped.

"And then about fifteen seconds later, he just completely lost it. So then of course we all started laughing, because he's just losing it. And I'm thinking, 'What is he doing? We're on live television. It's not the Groundlings.' . . . So afterward I asked him, I said, 'What happened? What was so funny?' So he said, well, he was sitting there as Frankenstein and something happened, and thinking about how silly the sketch was, you know, just the idea of it made him laugh all of a sudden. So he started laughing. And then he stopped, right? And then, he said, he was sitting there thinking how funny it must have looked to see Frankenstein laugh like that. And then that just made him like lose it."

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, September 7, 2005 8:01 PM (5 years ago)

Absolutely crying laughing over the German impressionist about halfway through the audition tape.

Zomg real tears of real laughter at the German. Ow it hurts

I get so sad every time I hear his voice on the simpsons

http://www.ecovoxrecords.com/noodlemuffin/curseofsimpsons/jpegs/PhilHartman1.jpg

Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a "bitch". And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or "shiv", and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities.
This way to the cafeteria!

― Phil Hartman, also the king of cameos (nickalicious), Thursday, September 8, 2005 12:19 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

<3 <3 <3

feel like if I had phil hartman's voice I would get so many chicks

just found out we went to the same highschool

that german impressionist bit had me crying with laughter. oh my god.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/bb55b081bd/player-with-yourselves-club

I hope his wife is burning in hell
blunty6feetunder 3 months ago

How heart-breaking is that odd sketch with and Jan Hooks where she plays an old woman that goes to a safety deposit box to reminisce? She puts on some pearls or something and is transformed into a young woman and dances with Phil Hartman while they sing a duet, and then at the end she becomes the old woman again, and the bank security guard puts his hand on her shoulder and its Phil as an old man...? This summary doesn't really do it justice, but when they aired it after Phil's death there wasn't a dry eye in (my) house.

Spot on. Bless ya, Phil:

http://vimeo.com/23450183

"He fancied himself a master thespian - the actor's actor. His performances had more filigree than a Gothic cathedral."

...fifteen years. Jesus.

:(

still remember hearing about this on the radio while coming home from a family vacation -- my mom and i were both seriously bummed out.

Simply the best.