HEY JEWS

I cried in Hebrew class the other week. Felt like a real Jew!

Crying made you feel like a real Jew?

I watched A Serious Man and man did that make me feel like a real jew

Jew even

Having a Hebrew school meltdown seemed like a Jewish rite of passage, is all.

WHY U SO HARD TO LEARN, HEBREW?

Wait till you try to read it without the vowels. You might need a straight jacket then.

God... 6 years of hebrew school and all I got was an ability to kind of read - but not understand - hebrew, which I'll never have a use for*

*Actually, when I worked at a library archive last year, I was able to match transliterated titles to the original ones instead of checking the book's call number, but that's it.

yeah it is weird that I was basically taught how to read (ie pronounce) a written language but have absolutely no clue what any given words mean or how the language is even structured

Hey Jews! I'm going to the Kosher Mart later today--what sorts of Pesach-y stuff should I get?

Also, I would like to repost this:

Hey Jews I wrote a little passover ditty, sung to the chorus of "Eye of the Tiger":

It's the
Bread of affliction
It's the bread of the Jews
Risen bread--it's not kosher during Pe-sach
And my boss--says "be careful! It is con-sti-pa-ting"
I-don't-care-I-just-ate-sev-en sheeeeeeeeeets
Of the mat-zah

― quincie, Sunday, April 12, 2009 9:44 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haven't we suffered enough

gluttons for suffering

i love quincie's jew fetish

srsly I am like 110% more into jews than I am into anything else, including bacon

omg I just learned from the WS thread that rashida jones is jewish! This is exciting news!

get into the jews
girl you got to prove
you're a first rate heeeeeeeb, yeah

^^^^^ <3 this man, even though he isn't jewish.

Awwww, how sweet. Is he gonna make matzaball soup for you?

Hey, quincie, I heard on the radio this morning that some lipsticks might not be kosher for Passover.

For Passover candy, I like the Joyva Marshmallow Twists. Or the fruit slices.

I am going to make matzah ball soup next week, though in a kitchen full of chametz.

I have THREE types of matzah at the ready. Need ideas for what to eat it with.

Not gonna worry about the lipstick given that not even my matzah ball soup is gonna be kosher (planning to use real butter instead of margarine/schmaltz/oil).

"haven't we suffered enough"

not to mention constipation

Look at these pyramid-shaped matzah-balls that some architect cooked (in today's Washington Post Food section)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/23/AR2010032300722.html

I second the marshmallow twists and the fruit slices.

Vegetarian seder at historic 6th & I synagogue in DC sold out.

Passover time Monday

i wish i had a seder to attend. no way am i going to the fucking hillel. always HATED those places.

hillel zombies: hey, what USY chapter did you go to? when did you go to israel? isn't it amazing?
me: fuck off.

I never went to the Hillel ones (was close enough to go home). I am guessing the White House seder that was the subject of a NY Times article yesterday does not resemble the Hillel ones:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/28/us/politics/28seder.html?scp=1&sq=seder&st=cse

Am going to a conservadox seder tonight! Excited! But then I am switching teams to Reform and not doing a second night seder. I'm ready with the matzoh, though.

Chag sameach jewbros! I'm going to my parents charedi seder

so psyched for SEDER!

just finished my crazy wonderful seder at which i was somehow one of the only two jews present.

my mom's family didn't host a seder this yr, so i hosted one at my apartment for 15 or so friends for the second yr running. cooked a pot roast and matzoh ball soup from scratch and many other delicious things and they all turned out pretty well (although the soup itself could have been a bit stronger).

i now have mad respect for my bubbes and anyone who does yearly seders because this shit is DIFFICULT - especially when limited to 72 hours of prep time or less.

chag sameach, MoTs

reallly missing the seder this year :( last year was fun at my old apartment, and i think this might be the first year i didn't celebrate at all. meant to grab some matzoh ball soup @ the jewish deli on 1st ave but didn't.

these egg matzos taste exactly like the plain ones wtf

The 12 Plagues in peeps form: http://www.flickr.com/photos/17025280@N00/sets/72157600038845249/detail/

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/207/441046093_2437c1534a_m.jpg

for a holiday without bread there is sure a shit ton of carbs involved

these egg matzos taste exactly like the plain ones wtf

Weird, cuz usually they don't. What's the brand?

Manischewitz passover egg "crackers" (i.e., mini matzo)

tam tams?!

This thread could use some of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-v-Pv6KuTg

^^^not actually Jews, but inspiring nonetheless.

Y'all eating "matzah bri" (scrambled eggs with matzah) and gefilte fish and left-over chicken soup still...I am

I've finished the egg matzah crackers (lol at "according to ashkenazic practice, all egg matzo may be eaten only by the young, infirm or aged. If you are of sephardic ancestry, consult your rabbi.") and am moving on to the Rakusen's Tea Matzos and the Yehuda regular matzah. Have not yet attempted matzah brei, but intend to this weekend.

And I'm having pizza tonight. Not matzah pizza, real pizza. Sorry to let you down, Jews.

Obama and oil drilling and now this.

To what extent can you justify a tortilla as not-fully- of semi-leavened bread?

hmmm if you are Sephardic and it is a corn tortilla, I think maybe you can get away with it? But no way if you are Askenazic.

Ring jells are addictive. I need to moisten the matzah less on my matzah brei.

my matzo balls came out. . . too light and fluffy? Like they actually could do with being heavier? I suppose I could have followed a recipe, but what's the fun in that?

Each year, the Forward names the Forward 50, recognizing the most influential American Jews today. Join us for a panel discussion with recent Forward 50 honorees, including: Ruth Messinger, president of the American Jewish World Service; Dmitriy Salita, a world championship contender in boxing's junior welterweight division; and Bill Kristol, editor of The Weekly Standard

I should go to this 6th & I DC synagogue panel event and harass Bill Kristol. Ugh. Ask him about both his mistakes small (his well-know factual errors in columns) and big (his role in pushing imaginary weapons of mass destruction as an argument for the Iraq war)