nah i think that the preternaturally immobile player isn't necessarily immobile because he's fat, whch was the case with pauleta: the bolton years
― quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac), Monday, 8 March 2010 13:09 (fourteen years ago) link
errr pauleta never played for bolton?
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 13:17 (fourteen years ago) link
trying to think who you might be confused with, or if this is some meta shit
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 13:21 (fourteen years ago) link
jardel?
― aarrissi-a-roni, Monday, 8 March 2010 13:26 (fourteen years ago) link
that wd #1 in terms of fat lusophone bolton cf's i can remember
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 13:31 (fourteen years ago) link
my thinking too, albeit expressed with a superior vocabulary
― aarrissi-a-roni, Monday, 8 March 2010 13:34 (fourteen years ago) link
as in not actually portuguese, but then neither are deco, pepe, liedson etc
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 13:38 (fourteen years ago) link
as in lusophone somewhere inside cashley
― The smile on my face, disguises the case, I bury the truth deep down in (ken c), Monday, 8 March 2010 13:43 (fourteen years ago) link
wtf you guys pauleta not jardel, wtf?
― quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:03 (fourteen years ago) link
(yeah, jardel)
wasn't jardel straight up brazilian tho?
― sonderangerbot, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:06 (fourteen years ago) link
xac
and he was actually good when he gave a fuck apparently
but yeah portuguese cfs, terrible, terrible players
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:09 (fourteen years ago) link
wow at ur tryin to make sense of what happens in my head re: fat dudes that played for bolton in 2007 or w/e tbh
― quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:10 (fourteen years ago) link
1996–2000 Porto 125 appearances (130 goals)2000–2001 Galatasaray 24 (22)2001–2003 Sporting CP 49 (53)2003–2004 Bolton Wanderers 7 (0)
― aarrissi-a-roni, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:13 (fourteen years ago) link
Man, those numbers are positively Balabanian
― MPx4A, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:14 (fourteen years ago) link
there is probably a thread in this, prolific goalscorers who hit a brick wall when they joined the epl. jardel is a pretty extreme example. kezman is another that springs to mind.
― aarrissi-a-roni, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:19 (fourteen years ago) link
During the 1999–2000 season, he was the top scorer of his team with 15 goals and attracted the attention of another Croatian club, Dinamo Zagreb. Playing for Dinamo, Balaban kept up his goalscoring form and once again became the league's top scorer with 14 goals in 25 games. Two games into the following season, he was signed by Aston Villa for a fee of £5.8 million, earning a £20,000-a-week contract.
Balaban failed to find any form for the English club, making just nine appearances, seven as a substitute. He was loaned back to Dinamo Zagreb for the 2002–03 season, scoring 15 times in 24 appearances. In December 2003, Aston Villa released Balaban from his contract and he signed for FC Bruges on a free transfer. In the 2004–05 season he scored 11 goals in 24 appearances for the club; in the 2005–06 season, he scored 13 goals in 30 games for Bruges.
In 1997, no-one died. In 1998, no-oned died. In 1999, no-one died. In 2000, there was the incident with Aston Villa. In 2001, no-one died.
― MPx4A, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:22 (fourteen years ago) link
there is probably a thread in this, prolific goalscorers who hit a brick wall when they joined the epl.
definitely an interesting thread idea.
the gamut to run from balaban (obv) to maybe rebrov?
― quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:27 (fourteen years ago) link
Thing is Jardel signing for Bolton just seemed to signal the end of him having any noteworthy kind of career, whereas Kezman had a couple of decent spells after Chelsea and Bosko immediately resumed normal deadly one-in-two service with astonishing ease
― MPx4A, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:29 (fourteen years ago) link
there are different types though, the kezman/afonso alves/samaras shit forward who scored for fun in holland
the jardel/boskic (formerly) great players with fatness/laziness issues
the players who didn't rly fit in english football, rebrov/shevchenko etc
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:31 (fourteen years ago) link
kezman was pretty poor at atletico, balaban apparently was only playing in belgium and croatia after villa? so yeah i'd think he was probably fairly crap
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:32 (fourteen years ago) link
there must also be a category of lower league scorers who got snapped up by a top flight club and choked. i can't think of a good example right away tho.
― aarrissi-a-roni, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:38 (fourteen years ago) link
Francis Jeffers makes for interesting reading - seems he can only play for Everton - 18 goals in 49 league appearances in under three seasons then 16 goals in the next nine years, including this sensational four season run:
Years Team Apps† (Gls)†2003–2004 → Everton (loan) 18 (0)2004–2006 Charlton Athletic 20 (3)2005 → Rangers (loan) 8 (0)2006–2007 Blackburn Rovers 10 (0)
A goal a game for his country though:
2003 England 1 (1)
― the pity party of tiny feet (onimo), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:38 (fourteen years ago) link
karel poborsky
― The smile on my face, disguises the case, I bury the truth deep down in (ken c), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:38 (fourteen years ago) link
Diego Forlan's been pretty much a goal machine everywhere but England.
― the pity party of tiny feet (onimo), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:40 (fourteen years ago) link
there must also be a category of lower league scorers who got snapped up by a top flight club and choked
jermaine beckford 2011
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:41 (fourteen years ago) link
ormerodzamora (to an extent for a long time)heskey (arguably, tho he had one good season for liverpool?)jon steadfuckin rasiak
― quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:42 (fourteen years ago) link
forlan is a good call, an obvious dip in productivity at man utd.
i seem to remember that guy lee hughes was doing okay for wba, but then he seemed to disappear for 3 years.
― aarrissi-a-roni, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:44 (fourteen years ago) link
kinda like adriano
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:49 (fourteen years ago) link
robinho
― quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:50 (fourteen years ago) link
prolific goalscorers who hit a brick wall when they joined the eplAndriy Shevchenko
― the pity party of tiny feet (onimo), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:51 (fourteen years ago) link
Diego Forlan's been pretty much a goal machine everywhere but England.― the pity party of tiny feet (onimo), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:40 (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
yes i thought of forlan when i thought poborsky, but couldn't remember his name!
― The smile on my face, disguises the case, I bury the truth deep down in (ken c), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:51 (fourteen years ago) link
thought poborsky was more than decent, tbh? played right wing and was just unlucky that beckham emerged
― quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:52 (fourteen years ago) link
he was ok i guess, never really had enough games to make an impression though.
― The smile on my face, disguises the case, I bury the truth deep down in (ken c), Monday, 8 March 2010 15:20 (fourteen years ago) link
Weeping at how Jardel's Bolton spell was exactly what was needed to take him from being the mythical more than a goal-a-game man to a mere goal-a-game man. It's like Bradman's last innings duck.
― Ismael Klata, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:04 (fourteen years ago) link
He's only scored twelve goals in his entire subsequent career, which is at least in theory still going.
Even more tragic: "Although he was top scorer three times, due to the use of coefficients based on each European league's standards, he only won twice, the 1998–99 and 2001–02 European Golden Boots. He lost out to Kevin Phillips in 1999–00 despite Phillips having scored six fewer goals than Jardel."
― Ismael Klata, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:08 (fourteen years ago) link
Haha! Allardyce was his Eric Hollies
In invoking the "preternaturally immobile national heroes" I referenced Jared Borgetti, who was surely in the back of d-mac's mind upthread
― I spent four bloody years there (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:10 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lKne7ArLDs&feature=related
I think about this goal a lot, and can never quite work out how he did it.
― Ismael Klata, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:16 (fourteen years ago) link
one of the better headers
― I spent four bloody years there (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:20 (fourteen years ago) link
pretty obviously just trying to head it back into the middle. jumped,turned, headed, no mystery.
― zvookster, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:23 (fourteen years ago) link
there's an amusing clip of him getting sonned by oguchi onyewu
― nakhchivan, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:23 (fourteen years ago) link
Nah, he clearly meant it - even though the angles involved mean it ought strictly to have been impossible.
― Ismael Klata, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:28 (fourteen years ago) link
You Want To Believe.
his line of sight even follows where he thinks the ball is going...back across the goal.
― zvookster, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:30 (fourteen years ago) link
am 100% certain that was intentional
― I spent four bloody years there (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:34 (fourteen years ago) link
bc
― zvookster, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:41 (fourteen years ago) link
'big call'? we're talking about JARED BORGETTI here, DUDE
― I spent four bloody years there (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:42 (fourteen years ago) link
no, bc = because. inviting u to do more than argue by assertion. aren't u an oxbridge dude? smh
― zvookster, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:43 (fourteen years ago) link
ok, in the replay you can see borgetti's strike partner dropping deep for the ball, in borgetti's direct eyeline, therefore he can surmise he is probably alone in the box and thus has no alternative but to go for goal
― I spent four bloody years there (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:46 (fourteen years ago) link
plus, the shape on the header was a round-the-corner flick, whereas a nod across goal would have involved more of a front-of-head action
― I spent four bloody years there (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:47 (fourteen years ago) link
plus, your 'eyeline' assertion stems from the fact he is JARED BORGETTI, thick of neck, and cannot actually turn his head any further given the direction his body is going in
― I spent four bloody years there (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:48 (fourteen years ago) link
plus, i know way more about soccerball than you
― I spent four bloody years there (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:49 (fourteen years ago) link
:D
agree he should know he is alone in the box, but still thinks he has no alternative but to play the percentage.
header was front of head, inertia of movement gave it the goal parabola.
zvookster aka the dreamstealer
― zvookster, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:49 (fourteen years ago) link
when i jump into an NFL thread all 'totally awesome play' when someone fumbles the ball into a team-mate's hands, remember this moment
― I spent four bloody years there (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:52 (fourteen years ago) link
remember it well
― inertia of movement gave it the goal parabola (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 18:53 (fourteen years ago) link
99.94% in agreement w/lj here. Would be 100% but for one thing - Borgetti has the build of a whippet. Check that still, the neck is like a pencil.
― Ismael Klata, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:55 (fourteen years ago) link
it was said of some lines of sappho's that their economy rang with the fine awkwardness of truth. lj's new dn is finest in this wise!
― zvookster, Monday, 8 March 2010 18:58 (fourteen years ago) link
^^^has redeemed all of his posting in this thread and then some
― inertia of movement gave it the goal parabola (acoleuthic), Monday, 8 March 2010 19:06 (fourteen years ago) link
Ashamed I missed this thread but whoever said upthread that good strikers don't exist anymore is on some crazy talk.
― There's Always Been A Prance Element To (a hoy hoy), Monday, 8 March 2010 19:08 (fourteen years ago) link
Me, I think, though I do rate Bendtner obviously. I had originally scoffed at the idea that the days of Owens and Inzaghis were over, but there really don't seem to many of them around, and if there are they are not feted like they used to be.
― Ismael Klata, Monday, 8 March 2010 19:43 (fourteen years ago) link
lol
― nakhchivan, Monday, 21 June 2010 11:50 (thirteen years ago) link
srsly it wd be great if one of these ppl did something
hugo almeida scored 7 in 25 last season
― nakhchivan, Monday, 21 June 2010 11:53 (thirteen years ago) link
though almeida was like a utility DM tbh
― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Monday, 21 June 2010 11:57 (thirteen years ago) link
A goal from midfield! How about that?!
― Ismael Klata, Monday, 21 June 2010 11:59 (thirteen years ago) link
that's a cross so good even a portuguese centre forward couldn't miss....
― nakhchivan, Monday, 21 June 2010 12:46 (thirteen years ago) link
i) vaz te is playing for barnsleyii) pleae can everyone's favourite dagestani arrivistes sign ARIZA MAKAKULA
― diouf est le papa du foot galsen merde lè haters (nakhchivan), Friday, 23 September 2011 19:39 (twelve years ago) link