"... and then apologise for it afterwards in a stiff and formal press conference in front of my corporate sponsors"
― The Oort Locker (Tom D.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 17:52 (fourteen years ago) link
http://img.timeinc.net/golf/i/tours/2007/09/sept30_tigerbush_600x428.jpg"Have you ever had a golden shower done to you? ... just morbid curiosity."
― velko, Thursday, 18 March 2010 17:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Tiger:Sent: 07:12 PM 09/07/2009:
No turkey unless it’s a club sandwich
― velko, Thursday, 18 March 2010 18:08 (fourteen years ago) link
my friends are getting so many gross texts today
― funky house septics, let me drain you of this (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 19:17 (fourteen years ago) link
dare i ask where are these texts are reposited?
― Sex Sexual (kingfish), Thursday, 18 March 2010 21:23 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/kittens-and-tiger-woods-sexts
― Your body is a spiderland (polyphonic), Thursday, 18 March 2010 21:26 (fourteen years ago) link
http://gizmodo.com/5496451/sexting-tiger-threatened-to-slap-spank-bite-and-fuck-till-mercy
― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 18 March 2010 21:31 (fourteen years ago) link
leave tiger alone
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 18 March 2010 21:36 (fourteen years ago) link
in his room with a porn star
― funky house septics, let me drain you of this (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 21:37 (fourteen years ago) link
watch out for the room service cart
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 18 March 2010 21:38 (fourteen years ago) link
Does that excite you at all or no
― ô_o (Nicole), Thursday, 18 March 2010 23:15 (fourteen years ago) link
hahahah
• With many of his mistresses, Woods was allegedly exceedingly cheap. Mindy Lawton says the only thing he ever bought for her was a chicken wrap from Subway (he was stopping there on his way to meet her).
― hipster puddy (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 31 March 2010 19:38 (fourteen years ago) link
Weirdest thing about some of those exchanges is that the most famous golfer in the world-slash-billionaire apparently wasn't even booking himself suites on the road. I imagined that he was given the Presidential Suite wherever he stayed.
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Wednesday, 31 March 2010 20:47 (fourteen years ago) link
# can tiger record a rap song so he can drop an "all you get is hard dick and chicken wraps" line? 12:12 PM Mar 31st via web
^this is a quality tweet
― johnny crunch, Saturday, 3 April 2010 02:47 (fourteen years ago) link
^_^
― 2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 3 April 2010 03:38 (fourteen years ago) link
news conference
― maderator (k3vin k.), Monday, 5 April 2010 18:04 (fourteen years ago) link
"Not fooled by the goatee, Tiger" vs. "Enter: EVIL Tiger!"
Has Woods rocked the facial hair before?
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 5 April 2010 18:53 (fourteen years ago) link
“The encouragement I got, it blew me away,” he said.
I bet!
Woods did admit to taking prescription pain killers in connection to a knee injury and an Achilles injury and sedatives around the time his father, Earl, died in 2006.
Could it have been his Achilles ... heel?
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 5 April 2010 18:55 (fourteen years ago) link
Caption this photo:
http://www.latimes.com/media/alternatethumbnails/photo/2010-04/53106900-05112743.jpg
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 5 April 2010 19:15 (fourteen years ago) link
I like the woman in the middle checking out his ass
― Wood shavings! Laughing out loud! (HI DERE), Monday, 5 April 2010 19:16 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1263385/Tiger-Woods-returns-golf-Augusta--army-90-bodyguards.html
Tiger Woods returns to golf in Augusta... with an army of 90 bodyguards
― armando white (dyao), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 06:24 (fourteen years ago) link
tiger woods soundboard
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 18:12 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwF873gU_uU
― mookieproof, Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:24 (fourteen years ago) link
tiger woods tees off today to the sound of one million assholes screaming GET IN THE HOLE
― mayor jingleberries, Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:34 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm behind on my euphemisms; I still don't get what the "club sandwich" text refers to, unless he was just ordering lunch.
― WTF cat with unfitting music (kingfish), Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:38 (fourteen years ago) link
think of what he could have sandwiched his golf club between
― my heart will goon (some dude), Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Club Sandwich 24 up, 13 down
Similar to a threesome but involves 5 people, 3 male and 2 female, in a stack arrangement that resembles a Club Sandwich. In order to hold the stack together one of the women must wear a strap-on otherwise known as the 'toothpick' in the sandwich.
Could my two friends and I interest you ladies in a Club Sandwich?
club sandwich sandwich threesome 3some gang bang
by MattMc Sep 14, 2006 share this
― goon with the wind (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:42 (fourteen years ago) link
that snap hook shot on 9 was siiick
― johnny crunch, Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:41 (fourteen years ago) link
Its pretty even money around the office that he wins this thing. And yes, that second shot on 9 was amazing.
Regardless of his horrible taste in women (his wife notwithstanding), dude can play some golf. It is proven.
― Clerk all KNOWIN (B.L.A.M.), Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:48 (fourteen years ago) link
That Nike commercial seems like the worst idea ever.
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:49 (fourteen years ago) link
don't even understand it - is there something to understand?
― conrad, Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:53 (fourteen years ago) link
People are making a lot of remixes of it that aren't very funny.
― no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:54 (fourteen years ago) link
xp - Tiger's dad is dressing him down for sticking his dick in any available hole?
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:04 (fourteen years ago) link
or, more likely, sticking his dick in any available hole and getting busted
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link
(nb: Daddy's been dead for a few years, so they repurposed old audio for this purpose)
that sounds incredibly creepy & fucked up
― goon with the wind (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEkomaBTppY
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:12 (fourteen years ago) link
remix that's amusing:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TO6wI9OQRE
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:13 (fourteen years ago) link
I thought that's what it was milo z i.e. he's exploiting (or letting nike exploit) not only the dick-hole thing but also his father's death - I don't understand
― conrad, Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:15 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't understand
― you've been shite, son, in your daft pink boots (onimo), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:16 (fourteen years ago) link
ah!
― conrad, Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:18 (fourteen years ago) link
Wow - Nike endorse philandering!
― Blue Sky Whine (SeekAltRoute), Friday, 9 April 2010 02:04 (fourteen years ago) link
The Nike commercial is fantastic. It reminds me of the New Yorker Obama cover--it takes everything that's out there and throws at back at you in a way that upsets a lot of people. I'm not saying that their motives are altruistic--their only interest is in salvaging a public image so that they can continue to make piles of money--but in terms of the mess they have to extricate themselves from, I can't imagine a better way to handle it.
― clemenza, Friday, 9 April 2010 03:24 (fourteen years ago) link
Also, people are talking about it a lot.
― no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Friday, 9 April 2010 03:33 (fourteen years ago) link
i hven't seen it, but i'm struggling to imagine a way that it couldn't be deeply awful
― Jesse James Woods (darraghmac), Friday, 9 April 2010 11:40 (fourteen years ago) link
It's worse than you could possibly imagine
That's Tiger for you!
― Is that your Ayrshire bacon? (Tom D.), Friday, 9 April 2010 11:43 (fourteen years ago) link
i'm basically hearing earl as mufasa telling tiger to man the fuck up, that might be cool actually.
― Jesse James Woods (darraghmac), Friday, 9 April 2010 11:44 (fourteen years ago) link
It's worse than you can possibly imagine.
I don't get this at all. Nike decided to stand by him--good for them; I think those who bailed are spineless--and now they have to figure out a way to move past all this as much and as quickly as possible. Should they have stayed on the sidelines for a few more months, and then at some point have snuck in a pre-scandal-type ad of Tiger hitting golf balls or some such thing--a pay-no-attention-to-that-elephant-in-the-room ad? Would a jokey ad have been better? Seems to me that would have really infuriated a lot of people. I think it's an ingenious (and relatively artistic) attempt to defuse a complicated problem.
― clemenza, Friday, 9 April 2010 20:51 (fourteen years ago) link
youtube parodies of this are much less funnier than I would have thought possible.
― fuck in rainbows, ☔ (dyao), Monday, 12 April 2010 01:52 (fourteen years ago) link
that ad is terrible. it's trying to get tiger back to where he was before, but since he wasn't there before anyway because ~there~ is just an illusion, and a dull one at that, it is a horrible, contemptuous, cynical piece of crap.
― estela, Monday, 12 April 2010 02:04 (fourteen years ago) link