The Mormons

i'm glad ILX is back. i can begin my assault anew. mormons suck.

NURSE

http://www.slate.com/id/2178568/nav/navoa/

these people must be stopped. god i hate romney, mormons, etc

lived in utah all my life, wouldn't want to live anywhere else. it's a beautiful place. 'utahn' sounds about right

Not much of an assault, u pretty bad at trolling.

i miss utah.

i don't really miss mormons though.

Utah is completely gorgeous and within its arbitrary boundaries is an INSANE amount of fantastic geographic diversity, from sublime mountains to George Herriman-style rockscapes. But I wasn't very happy living there.

on the other hand, i might take them over certain miracle mile residents.

i was home over thxgiving getting soup and chai at salt lake coffee roasters and a mormon double-date was standing behind me. one of the guys was talking about the sport of extreme sledding and the other guy was happily incredulous while the girls were being pleasant. they got hot chocolate and then left pretty quick. i tried to be annoyed but my heart wasn't really in it.

x-post

i would never consider living anywhere else in utah but salt lake, and only in certain parts, and maybe only in theory.

I lived in SLC and I was very bad but that could have been crippling depression.

they think the garden of eden was in missouri. until recently they officially believed black people were damned.

im sure the state of utah itself is wonderful though.

:( i was back for two weeks this summer and got pretty down. it was probably because i had nothing to do.

then there's PROVO. i went along with my family to Movies 8, the provo dollar theater, to see 'stardust.' they were showing something called "Road to Zarahemla," which i'm now morbidly curious about. 'stardust' was packed and the audience loved it. i think it's going to be the next 'princess bride' for byu coeds but with more coded messages about eternal marriage. i haven't had that much fun at the movies in a while, even if it was a little bizarre.

x-post hey you read a pandering slate article, congrats, your input is valuable

doesn't mean the article isn't true

For fucking real, strng! And those Mormon-specific comedy movies like "Singles Ward" and "Baptists at the Barbecue" are surprisingly funny. (To me.)

really, they are a punkass cult that has bent over for the US government several times and radically changed their core beliefs through incredibly convenient "revelations". I don't care how nice some of them are, on some level they are all jerks.

they think the lord's kingdom will be in missouri and they never believed black people were damned and they're a crock of shit. any other questions or are you done here? x-post

jesus, find new talking points, Mormon doctrine has 42,398 other weird fucking things.

liiiike... the ocean is satanic!

native americans are now inherently good

tell me more about the ocean being satanic

my brother's now ex-wife rented 'singles ward' one night and i sat down with them and watched that and a friends episode. in manhattan. not a fun evening.

i think i'd like it now though. i took a class from the production manager once and i probably know some of the people in it.

How abt: demonic spirits will decline to shake yr hand.

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f86/igotabeefpastry/snakemang.gif

x-post something about satan having stewardship over the ocean and jesus getting land. and it used to be the other way around, but they traded.

(Preface: I'm not making veiled generalizations about any group, I disapprove of organized religion but am not confrontational unless the other party is. That said...)

I once had a gaggle of Mormons working with me in a restaurant once. They were all really nice, but really really REALLY dumb. Of course being in a mexican restaurant alcohol sales were (supposed to be) high, and one of them was asked what kind of Merlot we had and they responded "Chardonnay".

The best was (and I was friendly with this guy, but the wheels just weren't turning) when this one server got stung by the cops--ya know, where an undercover cop comes in with a guest who is under 21 and the guest tries to order a drink.

The dude does the SMART thing and takes the dude's driver's license..SEES the birthdate and that the kid is SIXTEEN YEARS OLD...leaves the table...AND BRINGS THE DRINK AND SETS IT DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM. Escorted out of the building in cuffs and terminated!

They used to try to preach their religion to anybody who'd listen. I always found an excuse to walk away.

KOLOB

x-post bjo otm!

Haha those stings were always GREAT at my restaurant. Suspicious dude comes in, sits down. The kid would come in two minutes later, obviously Mormon and clearly not know what the hell abt drinks. "Uh, yeah, can I get a plain beer? To go?" *bartender sighs* "Let me see your ID." Kid denied, cop leaves 2 minutes later. CLASSIC.

yea you'd think they'd never work but two people at least in my duration in restaurants got canned for it.

BTW I JUST SAW 'ORGAZMO' DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE HEARD THE VOICE OF GOD

plain beer! Hahahaha!

serves the cops right. Stings (at least that kind) are the stupidest thing on the planet.

"Say, we haven't received enough money in misdemeanor fines this month...you know the drill."

one of the guys was talking about the sport of extreme sledding and the other guy was happily incredulous while the girls were being pleasant. they got hot

You should have just ended here.

Logan, Utah, is a splendid place for the views. Odd people, though.

i went to SLC last winter for skiing with we went to a "private club" one night. my membership card was a post-it note with a check mark.

not mormon but utah-related. and very funny to me.

All the bars are "private clubs for members," it's the only way they can serve liquor.

When I first started listening to the radio there, all the ads for bars ended with "a private club for members," as did all the newspaper ads. "What a pompous fucking town," I thought. BEFORE I KNEW THE SHOCKING TRUTH.

i know, but it's still shocking! i went with about ten other people, and i was the only one who needed a membership card. or maybe because everybody else was at least 20 years older and it was an id card to verify my age. whatever it was, the guy made it with a post-it note and a ballpoint pen.

lol xp

beautiful land, though. too bad SLC is so ugly unless you look up.

really, they are a punkass cult that has bent over for the US government several times and radically changed their core beliefs through incredibly convenient "revelations". I don't care how nice some of them are, on some level they are all jerks.

How are they different from any other religious fundies in this sense though? Except that their religion was founded a bit later than most others.

yeah, the private club thing is pretty annoying and is sort of arbitrarily enforced. technically, the doorman/bartenders/club employees can 'sponsor' anyone they want and get them in the club w/o making them pay for a year-long membership - but it varies by bar and doorman.

strgn is OTM about SLC being the best place to live here. as for mormons, they can be both very generous/helpful and also very exclusive. i grew up mormon and most of my friends growing up were not mormon, but i also knew kids who weren't allowed to play w/ 'non-members'. which is lame, but there are paranoid people of all types.

as a kid, I was all buddy-buddy with several other mormon kids cuz we were all outcasts/misfits from the mainstream culture. It wasn't until midway through high school (and a visit to the mormon tabernacle/SLC) that I was all like "lolz mormon underwear" etc

(should be "as a JEWISH kid")

magical jewish underwear?

e.g. boxer-briefs?

Dear 6335, are you still Mormon? I grew up in it and no longer am in it. My parents wouldn't let me hang out with non-Mormons or fat Mormons. !!!

i stopped attending about 11-12 years ago, but technically, yeah! i never had my name removed from the records. why the ban on fat mormons?

when I was a kid all the adult mormon adult women I knew were fat moms with short hair. I thought it was just how they were.