Strange Tales of Hassidic Jews

Snopes agrees with you.

Also, it doesn't matter whether or not the majority of people in a culture do something, it can still be considered deviant if it strays from the norm. Norms are developed, and though they change over time, there's often a lag between what a culture considers a norm and how the majority of people act. Then there's always hypocrites, too.

Driving around Williamsburg a few years ago with some friends of mine, looking for some elusive restaurant or record shop or some such (don't remember). Being a Manhattan snob, I know precious little about Brooklyn and am familiar with its neighborhoods in the same way I'm familiar with the neighborhoods of, say, central Cambodia (i.e. not at all). In any case, I do know that Williamsburg, along with being the then-home of both my beloved Cop Shoot Cop and Peter Luger's Ass-whupping, vegan-troubling Steak House, is a veritable hotbed of Hassidic Judaism. In any case, we're driving around looking for this place, and we keep noticing little pockets of Hassidic Jews gathered on street corners in seemingly synchronized patterns. Then we'll travel blocks and blocks where we don't see any, then turn a corner and again there'll be droves of them. I comment on this, and my friend Rob turns around and says:

"Yeah, it's like now Hassidim, Now Ya Don't!"

We laugh so hard we have to pull over.

Hassidic Judaism teaches that the husband and wife both must be naked during sex.

foreplay is mandatory

one of the laws is that the husband has to make sure the wife has an orgasm before he does

hassidim have very hot sex

i know

because i am one

:)

Once upon a time, three men were confined in a prison. There were no windows in this prison, no light seeping through any chinks in the wall, no glimmer slipping quietly beneath the door. It was pitch-black in there. So dark, not even the darkness could see.
Now, two of these unlucky fellows, they were very learned, very intelligent men. Great teachers, admired and followed by many. The other, poor soul, he was a simpleton. He knew nothing, nothing at all. He couldn't put his clothes on, he couldn't feed himself, nothing. So, one day, one of these learned men made a decision: he would teach this poor fellow! There, in that darkness. He would teach this poor soul all he needed to know: how to dress himself, how to feed himself, button his buttons, hold a spoon, everything.

He worked hard. But that other fellow, that other learned man? He did nothing, nothing at all. Shameful.

Finally, one day, the hardworking teacher had all he could take. "Friend, I do not understand! Why do you just sit there, waiting? How can you do nothing for this poor simple soul?"

The other man listened, thoughtful. Then, finally, he spoke. "My friend, I understand that you have been working hard. I understand what you have been trying to do. Now, understand me. In my waiting, I have been working, too. You see, in this darkness, I fear: though you teach this poor soul, you will teach him nothing. No matter how many years you try. In this darkness, he can learn nothing of value at all. And so, I sit here thinking. How might I break a hole in that wall? How might I let the light in to this prison? When that happens, my friend, this man can learn for himself all that he needs to know."

"Others think that tales are a good remedy to put one to sleep; I maintain that stories are useful to awaken people."
- R. Nachman of Bratzlav

Hottt Hassidic Sex! Volume One

xxxpost

I went to a Catholic high school and, believe it or not, received very little education on this subject.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/lynskey/penny.jpg

Some of my friends in nearby Ganton claim that they don't mix too much with "the Sith", as I believe they call us non-Hassdic jews. That's not the case around my neck of the woods, they're very socially active, mainly organising festivals celebrating early and mid 80's commercial reggae - although my band did get told off last year for playing "Pass The Dutchie", which apparently has "unclean" lyrics.

for real, i saw a thing about it on TV.

-- Sengai (pjrobins200...) (webmail), October 8th, 2005 9:56 AM. (later) (link)

They want to make sure actual jews are being jewish up to their standards. They don't convert christians.

I'm sorry if I caused offense but my understanding was that many orthodox Jews were concerned about how secular some of their less traditional bretheren had become.

I know for a fact that's bullshit. It's actually impossible on account of these "brisks" that they have just after they're born where they lob the penis off. I saw a thing on FOX about it.

Also, the bedsheet stuff was addressed way upthread.

-- Jonothong Williamsmang (SUCCUM...), October 8th, 2005.

You said that they were trying to convert Jews, as implied from the last clause in your sentence. If you knew anything about Judaism you wouldn't have written that.

Quit being such a fucking dick. Why do you care random person who has never posted here before?