tiger woods soundboard
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 18:12 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwF873gU_uU
― mookieproof, Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:24 (fourteen years ago) link
tiger woods tees off today to the sound of one million assholes screaming GET IN THE HOLE
― mayor jingleberries, Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:34 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm behind on my euphemisms; I still don't get what the "club sandwich" text refers to, unless he was just ordering lunch.
― WTF cat with unfitting music (kingfish), Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:38 (fourteen years ago) link
think of what he could have sandwiched his golf club between
― my heart will goon (some dude), Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Club Sandwich 24 up, 13 down
Similar to a threesome but involves 5 people, 3 male and 2 female, in a stack arrangement that resembles a Club Sandwich. In order to hold the stack together one of the women must wear a strap-on otherwise known as the 'toothpick' in the sandwich.
Could my two friends and I interest you ladies in a Club Sandwich?
club sandwich sandwich threesome 3some gang bang
by MattMc Sep 14, 2006 share this
― goon with the wind (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:42 (fourteen years ago) link
that snap hook shot on 9 was siiick
― johnny crunch, Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:41 (fourteen years ago) link
Its pretty even money around the office that he wins this thing. And yes, that second shot on 9 was amazing.
Regardless of his horrible taste in women (his wife notwithstanding), dude can play some golf. It is proven.
― Clerk all KNOWIN (B.L.A.M.), Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:48 (fourteen years ago) link
That Nike commercial seems like the worst idea ever.
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:49 (fourteen years ago) link
don't even understand it - is there something to understand?
― conrad, Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:53 (fourteen years ago) link
People are making a lot of remixes of it that aren't very funny.
― no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Thursday, 8 April 2010 20:54 (fourteen years ago) link
xp - Tiger's dad is dressing him down for sticking his dick in any available hole?
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:04 (fourteen years ago) link
or, more likely, sticking his dick in any available hole and getting busted
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link
(nb: Daddy's been dead for a few years, so they repurposed old audio for this purpose)
that sounds incredibly creepy & fucked up
― goon with the wind (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEkomaBTppY
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:12 (fourteen years ago) link
remix that's amusing:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TO6wI9OQRE
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:13 (fourteen years ago) link
I thought that's what it was milo z i.e. he's exploiting (or letting nike exploit) not only the dick-hole thing but also his father's death - I don't understand
― conrad, Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:15 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't understand
― you've been shite, son, in your daft pink boots (onimo), Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:16 (fourteen years ago) link
ah!
― conrad, Thursday, 8 April 2010 21:18 (fourteen years ago) link
Wow - Nike endorse philandering!
― Blue Sky Whine (SeekAltRoute), Friday, 9 April 2010 02:04 (fourteen years ago) link
The Nike commercial is fantastic. It reminds me of the New Yorker Obama cover--it takes everything that's out there and throws at back at you in a way that upsets a lot of people. I'm not saying that their motives are altruistic--their only interest is in salvaging a public image so that they can continue to make piles of money--but in terms of the mess they have to extricate themselves from, I can't imagine a better way to handle it.
― clemenza, Friday, 9 April 2010 03:24 (fourteen years ago) link
Also, people are talking about it a lot.
― no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Friday, 9 April 2010 03:33 (fourteen years ago) link
i hven't seen it, but i'm struggling to imagine a way that it couldn't be deeply awful
― Jesse James Woods (darraghmac), Friday, 9 April 2010 11:40 (fourteen years ago) link
It's worse than you could possibly imagine
That's Tiger for you!
― Is that your Ayrshire bacon? (Tom D.), Friday, 9 April 2010 11:43 (fourteen years ago) link
i'm basically hearing earl as mufasa telling tiger to man the fuck up, that might be cool actually.
― Jesse James Woods (darraghmac), Friday, 9 April 2010 11:44 (fourteen years ago) link
It's worse than you can possibly imagine.
I don't get this at all. Nike decided to stand by him--good for them; I think those who bailed are spineless--and now they have to figure out a way to move past all this as much and as quickly as possible. Should they have stayed on the sidelines for a few more months, and then at some point have snuck in a pre-scandal-type ad of Tiger hitting golf balls or some such thing--a pay-no-attention-to-that-elephant-in-the-room ad? Would a jokey ad have been better? Seems to me that would have really infuriated a lot of people. I think it's an ingenious (and relatively artistic) attempt to defuse a complicated problem.
― clemenza, Friday, 9 April 2010 20:51 (fourteen years ago) link
youtube parodies of this are much less funnier than I would have thought possible.
― fuck in rainbows, ☔ (dyao), Monday, 12 April 2010 01:52 (fourteen years ago) link
that ad is terrible. it's trying to get tiger back to where he was before, but since he wasn't there before anyway because ~there~ is just an illusion, and a dull one at that, it is a horrible, contemptuous, cynical piece of crap.
― estela, Monday, 12 April 2010 02:04 (fourteen years ago) link
the snl parody was somehow better than almost all of them
― am0n corner (J0rdan S.), Monday, 12 April 2010 02:05 (fourteen years ago) link
haven't checked out any of the other parodies, but the bit on Colbert w/ different voices on the audio -- especially Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein -- was hysterical
― fucka washa hat (some dude), Monday, 12 April 2010 03:03 (fourteen years ago) link
that advert makes him seem like a sociopath
― caek, Monday, 12 April 2010 09:08 (fourteen years ago) link
When Tiger pulled a shot on the one of the back 9 holes he muttered 'Tiger' to himself with a voice and a childlike frustration that reminded me of...Michael Jackson.
Mark my words, etc.
The post-final round interview was all me me me awful...fine if he doesn't want to change his ways round the course (the attempts to get him to lighten up a bit are pathetic) but he shouldn't pretend to go along with it.
― xyzzzz__, Monday, 12 April 2010 12:25 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm starting to wonder if the little ritual we've developed for celebrity scandals (give a press conference with a wife standing quietly behind you, vanish into some treatment center for a while, and then come out declaring that Everything's Changed) is starting to break down.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 12 April 2010 13:08 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIFmUtXJheo
― ☀ ☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 18:59 (fourteen years ago) link
"tiger woods... you sssssssssssuck. god damn it."
― ☀ ☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 19:00 (fourteen years ago) link
Golf is extremely frustrating. I had to quit for a while because I would curse and scream after every missed shot. He shouldn't change his attitude on the course, he should just tell others to fuck off if they don't like it.
― brotherlovesdub, Tuesday, 13 April 2010 19:08 (fourteen years ago) link
well, the problem is that he explicitly said that he was going to try and change his attitude on the course, so that's pretty much why he's getting scrutinized over it
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 13 April 2010 19:09 (fourteen years ago) link
did u curse yourself in third-person
― ☀ ☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 19:10 (fourteen years ago) link
thats the creepy part imo
i have cursed myself in third-person on the course. it's shameful but it happens.
― brotherlovesdub, Tuesday, 13 April 2010 19:30 (fourteen years ago) link
cheating on his wife like 4,750 times is more bothersome that cursing on the course IMO
― by another name (amateurist), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 19:34 (fourteen years ago) link
is anyone saying it isn't?
― ☀ ☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 19:36 (fourteen years ago) link
He shouldn't change his attitude on the course, he should just tell others to fuck off if they don't like it.
yeah, that'll go over real well.
All screamers and club-throwers need to get a fucking grip on the course, even the multimillionaire ones.
― millions now zinging will never lol (WmC), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 19:38 (fourteen years ago) link
He's the best golfer to ever live. I think whatever he's done to this point is good enough to keep doing for the rest of his career. His attitude doesn't have to 'go over real well' with anybody, he just needs to have the lowest score at the end of Sunday.
― brotherlovesdub, Tuesday, 13 April 2010 21:01 (fourteen years ago) link
All screamers and club-throwers need to get a fucking grip on the course, even especially the multimillionaire ones.
fixed
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 21:13 (fourteen years ago) link
thanking u
― millions now zinging will never lol (WmC), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 21:34 (fourteen years ago) link
the analogy jim nantz is making is so dum that he should be fired for making it
― johnny crunch, Tuesday, 13 April 2010 21:38 (fourteen years ago) link
also, this --
I think whatever he's done to this point is good enough to keep doing for the rest of his career. His attitude doesn't have to 'go over real well' with anybody, he just needs to have the lowest score at the end of Sunday.
-- is baloney. Tell that to Tim Finchem, the companies that have kept his sponsorship deals, the companies that have dropped his sponsorship deals, parents of kids who said "god dammit" for the first time because they heard the best golfer in the world say it, etc etc. They'll all tell you to buy a fucking vowel and solve the puzzle. If he doesn't improve his image, he'll be toast within five years. It's okay, he's got enough money to last the rest of his life. But if Nicklaus' majors record really means anything to him, he's got to make a PR move to go with the golf talent.
― millions now zinging will never lol (WmC), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 21:47 (fourteen years ago) link
Wow, Jim Nantz is on fire in this Simmons podcast.
― no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 21:57 (fourteen years ago) link