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Wait, wait, here we go:
If it's yellow,
let it mellow;
if it's brown,
flush it down.
If it's runny,
THAT'S NOT FUNNY--
eat some fiber,
you wet-ass clown!
If it's rock-like,
be all Spock-like:
it's logical
to eat more fruit.
If it's noisy,
call your boys, G!
They will laugh
at every toot.
If it's stringy,
check your thingy
for colonic
parasites:
creepy tapeworms,
anal gapeworms,
wriggling butt-germs
that's not right!
If it's tiny,
lube your hiney;
maybe that'll
stretch it out.
If it's giant,
hope you're pliant!
Don't let neighbors
hear you shout.
But if it's poopy,
not too goopy,
pat yourself
right on the back.
Shut your hole and
flush the bowl and
don't forget
to wipe your crack!
― criscothingy, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 11:29 (eighteen years ago) link
A couple years ago over the holidays the toilet broke as my brother tried to flush it, so he came in to warn everybody not to use it until he could get to home depot to buy some part to fix it. He just walked into the room and looked at me and said
"If it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown... um... let it mellow."
― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 15:13 (eighteen years ago) link